Day 297: Moving beyond the two-year mark – Day 5: Test results are in, what’s next?

what's next

In this podcast I share the results from my recent hcg test.  This test being the base-line I use to gauge the effectiveness of the alternative treatment plans that I’ve been walking for 2 years for Breast Cancer.

I also share the role that Desteni I Process continues to have upon my overall success during this process with regards to being able to stop myself from fearing how my thoughts were generating emotional fear energy experiences,   as well as what my plans are moving forward.

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For Further Context:

Day 292: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – How to Stop Emotional Fear Energy – Day 44

Day 293: Wait, you can’t enjoy that, you have Cancer! – Day 1: What’s Stopping You?

Day 294: You Can have your Apple and Eat the Seeds too! – Day 2: How Rational is your Fear?

Day 295: That’ll Never Happen to Me! – Day 3: Ever had that Line of Thought?

Day 296: May we Not find ourselves waiting – Day 4: What keeps You waiting?

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Links For Self-Support:

EQAFE

Desteni I Process

Self & Living

One Answer to Cancer

IV vitamin C therapy: A cancer perspective

Day 296: May we Not find ourselves waiting – Day 4: What keeps You waiting?

waiting

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“Waiting is implied self judgment and will cause inaction and regret.” Bernard Poolman

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For Further Context:

Day 292: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – How to Stop Emotional Fear Energy – Day 44

Day 293: Wait, you can’t enjoy that, you have Cancer! – Day 1: What’s Stopping You?

Day 294: You Can have your Apple and Eat the Seeds too! – Day 2: How Rational is your Fear?

Day 295: That’ll Never Happen to Me! – Day 3: Ever had that Line of Thought?

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My Links For Self-Support:

EQAFE

Desteni I Process

Self & Living

One Answer to Cancer

Day 295: That’ll Never Happen to Me! – Day 3: Ever had that Line of Thought?

denial

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For Further Context: Day 292: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – How to Stop Emotional Fear Energy – Day 44

Day 293: Wait, you can’t enjoy that, you have Cancer! – Day 1: What’s Stopping You?

Day 294: You Can have your Apple and Eat the Seeds too! – Day 2: How Rational is your Fear?

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My Links For Self-Support:

EQAFE

Desteni I Process

Self & Living

One Answer to Cancer

Day 294: You Can have your Apple and Eat the Seeds too! – Day 2: How Rational is your Fear?

appleseeds2

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For Further Context: Day 292: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – How to Stop Emotional Fear Energy – Day 44

Day 293: Wait, you can’t enjoy that, you have Cancer! – Day 1: What’s Stopping You?

My Links For Self-Support:

EQAFE

Desteni I Process

Self & Living

One Answer to Cancer

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Great video below about Vitamin B17 case histories:

 Vitamin B17,laetrile case histories;lung, colon, breast, prostate

Link provided below to the reference I made in this podcast about how finally Big food brands are getting nervous, because their sales of processed, packaged foods have dropped considerably: 

Consumers’ new eating habits are hurting Big Food’s profits

Day 293: Wait, you can’t enjoy that, you have Cancer! – Day 1: What’s Stopping You?

what's stopping you

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For Further Context: Day 292: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – How to Stop Emotional Fear Energy – Day 44

My Links For Self-Support:

EQAFE

Desteni I Process

Self & Living

One Answer to Cancer

Day 292: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – How to Stop Emotional Fear Energy – Day 44

Sitting here to write about this particular emotional fear energy isn’t something that I want to do. In fact, I’ve become very good at avoiding this point all together by way of one distraction after another until wham! Seemingly out of nowhere I will experience more pain in my upper back / chest area and that pain seems to trigger an experience of emotional fear energy.  Where I would become so influenced by the energy that I wasn’t able to see what was contributing to and thus creating the thing in the first place.

Emotional Fear Energy

When I’m in that emotional fear energy, it’s like a dark wave comes over me and within that the personal realization and seriousness of my situation comes to surface.  My situation being that I have Cancer, and that it may very well be the thing that kills me.

When I was first diagnosed with Cancer, almost 2 years ago, that was when this particular Emotional Fear Energy pattern was ignited, or more appropriately, that’s when it was first triggered. And I mean, I’m sure we all have this pattern within us and will have to face it because I mean everyone will face their own mortality at some point.

So how can one assist and support themselves to stop this particular emotional fear energy?  This I will be sharing assistance for with this blog and blogs to come.

I knew from the beginning when I first made the decision and firm committment to myself and my physical body to get well and become Cancer free through alternative means and diet and I knew I was beginning what would be a long journey. So, I’m still applying the same alternative treatments that I planned almost 2 years ago and they’re still proving to be very effective. My Physical Body is responding very well in that the Cancer is still diminishing. But even still, there’s no way of knowing for sure the toll that all of it will have on my Physical body,  or even if it will ultimately help me to be Cancer free.

So what’s been going on is for almost 2 years I  accepted and allowed this particular emotional fear energy pattern-  that I can only describe as debilitating – to be the reason why I reach for things to distract myself from what’s really go on within myself,  and instead,  what I do is sort of freeze inside,which is really a way of suppressing myself.   I also go into a waiting game within myself as if I’m giving up on myself.

Alright so, when I participate in and as this particular emotional fear energy I’m not able to see what it is attached to.   The only thing I know for sure is with the energy comes a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Tears will some time swell up, and sometimes, I allow myself to cry, and it’s a deep hard cry. But mostly, I stick to distracting / suppressing myself so as to not look at / investigate what the fear is really attached to.

So the Eqafe interfiew that I heard called: Incurable Diseases – Fears & Phobias, resonated with me and assisted me to realize what’s been going on within me which is a Fear of Losing Control. Identifying this one thing has assisted me to better understand what’s been contributing and creating the emotional fear energy which and has assisted me with a clearer perspective,  which causes the energy itself to lose it’s illusion of control and power over me.

Before,  when the energy would be triggered,  there was no sense to be made of it, so it was as if I would sort of tumble into and as the energy and become fully engulfed in my imagination and basically interpret my fear experience as that of fearing death and dying.

So to Stop Emotional Fear Energy one must first be able to define what one is fearing and when one can do that then one will be able to begin to direct oneself to stop the control the fear had on oneself.    And for me this is huge!

Because I mean since being diagnosed with Cancer, I’ve seen some changes that my physical body has gone through. And within that are the realization that any day the Cancer could spread and get worse and, what will I do if that happens.  and what if my body begins the process of dying’? Will I be aware of it if / when that happens? Will I ultimately lose the use of my bodies facilities? And can I overcome embarrassment if that were to happen? Will my body become ugly or deformed in some way, and if so, will my partner still want to be with me?

So to be clear,  I’ve been able to identifytjat the fear is about what my physical body will have to endure and so what I will have to endure with regards to the physical process of dying.  Any deterioration process.  The decay, the physical pain and suffering, any and all experiences that my physical body may go through – that’s what I’m referring to, that’s what I fear losing control of.  And now that I’ve been able to identify this point,  I’m already seeing my ability to stop accepting and allowing the emotional fear energy to overpower me.

I’m also investigating how I’ve accepted and allowed ‘avoidance’ and ‘despair’ to play a role in me not having the endurance to stand up to this fear of losing control which itself leaves me with the illusion of an inability to direct myself effectively to forgive and release myself of the emotional fear energy experience.  More on these in blogs to come.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach emotional fear energy to having Cancer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my mind attach the word cancer to emotional fear energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach the effects of cancer on my physical body to the emotional fear energy within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that to accept and allow myself to go into emotional fear energy is doing the very thing to myself as my Physicalbody that I am fearing the cancer will do.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare my cancer story to those who have survived their cancer story.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced and unmotivated by the emotional fear energy that I have associated with having cancer and with which I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to causing myself to want to give up.

I commit myself to when and as I see emotional fear energy come up in relation to cancer and what having it might do to me, I stop. Instead I direct myself to Breathe and focus on remaining realistic with regards to any and all fears and / or symptoms that may come up from moment to moment and to Not compare my cancer story to those who have survived cancer and to understand that in reality the process of alternative cancer care will have physical symptoms and/or reactions that are Not life threatening and are only a part of the healing process.

Suggested Eqafe Interview: Incurable Diseases – Fears & Phobias

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For Further Context Read:

Day 289: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – that sinking feeling that comes with the giving up experience – Day 42

Day 288: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Giving up, Giving in, or Both? – Day 41

Day 290: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – stopping emotional reactions to myself – Day 43

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Day 292: Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much

Born in Middle Class America, my story isn’t special. Meaning, how I experienced myself growing up could be your story, or anyone’s story for that matter. Let me explain.

I was in second grade, around 7 or 8 when I first become aware of the variety of masks that people wear as their making some sort of a connection when they’re beginning a relationship with each other. I recall having strong emotional fears with regards to deciding which mask or character / personality to become even though I understood that it all depended upon the situation and the people and how I wanted to experience and express myself when being around them.

Bottom line, I was scared. Scared to get too close to anyone, because already by the time I was 7, I understood that people don’t stay, they leave. They go their own way for whatever reason and from the very beginning, I didn’t like subjecting myself to the emotional pain that inevitably happened when a relationship stopped / ended. It’s no surprise then that I can relate so much to the following quote:

“I find people around me are all making some kind of connection, like friendship or romance. But human bonds always lead to messy complications. Commitment. Sharing. Driving people to the airport. Besides, if I let someone get that close, they’d see who I really am and I can’t let that happen. So, time to put on my mask.” Dexter Morgan (Character) from the Showtime series: Dexter

I accepted early on in my life that what was going on within my mind with regards to my thoughts and my feelings and emotions within a fear of loss at the prospect of being rejected wasn’t worth giving my whole self to.  Because being rejected felt like losing a part of myself.  And so as I participated within and as ALL that,,, I withdrew into my own little world within and as my mind where I believed the lies that I told myself – which was that I didn’t want or need anyone to be happy, yet I was anything but happy.

So during my first couple of years in elementary school I remember spending a lot of time watching and observing other kids in my class. I envied the kids who would become the teachers favorite, and every day during recess I remember watching as the kids in my class ran around having fun together playing.   I remember wondering why I felt so alone and lonely inside myself and as I watched them go about their business, I experienced quite a bit of negative emotions and insecurity within and towards myself.  Inside my head, I was having thoughts / backchat,  asking myself what is wrong with me that I can’t seem to make the kind of connections with others that I see them making amongst themselves…

Almost in-spite of myself, by the time I reached middle school, I had established a few close friendships / relationships, both male and female. But even then, something within me in how I experienced myself within my relationships was off in that I felt like I never completely fit in with the relationship.  It was like I watched myself put on a mask, and depending upon who I was with, I would become some sort of character / personality, and in doing so, within my mind I began to blame and spite and resent others for how I was experiencing myself and I felt emotionally defeated.

I realize now that how I experienced myself back then and how I experience myself now with regards to my relationships with others, both individual or within a group, whether personal or business – had / has nothing to do with anyone else but me. Meaning, I am responsible for what goes on within me at all times and the same goes for what’s going on within and as my outer world / reality, because our outer world is a reflection of what we’re accepting and allowing to exist within us.

Therefore,  it’s important that I Stand Committed and walk this point through, breathing through the resistance in order to become stable and supportive within and as the Desteni Group , which is and has always been quite a pilar of support for me.  This I am currently walking the corrective application for,  but clearly,  my early experience into society as a child has influenced every relationship I’ve had…

 

Investigating the point now, I see how when I was a kid,  one of the things that would have assisted me greatly, would have been if someone – like my parents, or a teacher – would have been able to offer me support and guidance for what was going on within and as my mind, as thoughts and pictures, and the feelings and emotions and the fear!  That would have made a world of difference for me when I was growing up.

 

And I mean, it’s only been through walking the lessons in Desteni I Process Pro and applying the tools that the course provides that I’ve been able to understand for myself the goings on within and as my mind.  And more than ever, I see how important it is that we walk this life together supporting each other with a partner as well as walking within and as a Group.

changing the world together with dipThe Group should be supportive of ALL Life, because let’s be serious, there is NO WAY that one person will ever be able to bring about the kind of change that this world and everyone in it so desperately seek.

The kind of change that is required to our monetary system as well as All the world systems.

And unless we stand together as a Group and support the kind of freedom where the Foundation of Life on Earth begins with making All worldly decisions based upon and according to what’s best for all. That’s the only way that we can ensure that money is no longer God and thus no longer the thorn in everyone’s side and then, when we stop stressing out over NOT having food, or water and a home and clothes and an education – when All that mess and stress ends we’re going to be shocked at how just that point alone will completely change the relationships we have with each other and the relationship we have with others within our world.

If one look at the history of man and how our relationships with one another are by way of our thoughts and feelings and our emotions – we can then see how participating in them keeps us from being able to be objective. And when we’re not being objective then we fall into the realm of subjectivity – which means our decision making is personal, and subject to the influence of opinions by way of beliefs and thoughts and feelings and even subject to how we’re experiencing ourself at any given moment. And come on, at this point the decisions made in this world is also made based upon ego and greed, profit and the fear of survival!

I mean, there’s a lot going on within our mind that we cannot accept and allow when making life and death decisions with regards to how our current monetary / world systems operate / function.

And, until we can understand our own minds – like how and why we think and react like we do – because what I’ve learned through walking the Desteni I Process course is that I can direct who I am as my mind and in doing so I am able to take responsibility for myself and for what and how I’ve accepted and allowed Life on Earth to be lived as.

It’s Time to Question Our Reality, and come together as a Group to agree on a money system that will support Everyone… If we can’t do that, then we’ll have to continue to suffer because Hell on Earth is just getting started.

Time to forgive ourselves and each other, and make the most important decision we’ll ever make, not in the name of ouself but in the name of and for the future of how Life itself will be experienced as dignified here on Earth.

 ENROLL TODAY!

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