Day 292: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – How to Stop Emotional Fear Energy – Day 44

Sitting here to write about this particular emotional fear energy isn’t something that I want to do. In fact, I’ve become very good at avoiding this point all together by way of one distraction after another until wham! Seemingly out of nowhere I will experience more pain in my upper back / chest area and that pain seems to trigger an experience of emotional fear energy.  Where I would become so influenced by the energy that I wasn’t able to see what was contributing to and thus creating the thing in the first place.

Emotional Fear Energy

When I’m in that emotional fear energy, it’s like a dark wave comes over me and within that the personal realization and seriousness of my situation comes to surface.  My situation being that I have Cancer, and that it may very well be the thing that kills me.

When I was first diagnosed with Cancer, almost 2 years ago, that was when this particular Emotional Fear Energy pattern was ignited, or more appropriately, that’s when it was first triggered. And I mean, I’m sure we all have this pattern within us and will have to face it because I mean everyone will face their own mortality at some point.

So how can one assist and support themselves to stop this particular emotional fear energy?  This I will be sharing assistance for with this blog and blogs to come.

I knew from the beginning when I first made the decision and firm committment to myself and my physical body to get well and become Cancer free through alternative means and diet and I knew I was beginning what would be a long journey. So, I’m still applying the same alternative treatments that I planned almost 2 years ago and they’re still proving to be very effective. My Physical Body is responding very well in that the Cancer is still diminishing. But even still, there’s no way of knowing for sure the toll that all of it will have on my Physical body,  or even if it will ultimately help me to be Cancer free.

So what’s been going on is for almost 2 years I  accepted and allowed this particular emotional fear energy pattern-  that I can only describe as debilitating – to be the reason why I reach for things to distract myself from what’s really go on within myself,  and instead,  what I do is sort of freeze inside,which is really a way of suppressing myself.   I also go into a waiting game within myself as if I’m giving up on myself.

Alright so, when I participate in and as this particular emotional fear energy I’m not able to see what it is attached to.   The only thing I know for sure is with the energy comes a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Tears will some time swell up, and sometimes, I allow myself to cry, and it’s a deep hard cry. But mostly, I stick to distracting / suppressing myself so as to not look at / investigate what the fear is really attached to.

So the Eqafe interfiew that I heard called: Incurable Diseases – Fears & Phobias, resonated with me and assisted me to realize what’s been going on within me which is a Fear of Losing Control. Identifying this one thing has assisted me to better understand what’s been contributing and creating the emotional fear energy which and has assisted me with a clearer perspective,  which causes the energy itself to lose it’s illusion of control and power over me.

Before,  when the energy would be triggered,  there was no sense to be made of it, so it was as if I would sort of tumble into and as the energy and become fully engulfed in my imagination and basically interpret my fear experience as that of fearing death and dying.

So to Stop Emotional Fear Energy one must first be able to define what one is fearing and when one can do that then one will be able to begin to direct oneself to stop the control the fear had on oneself.    And for me this is huge!

Because I mean since being diagnosed with Cancer, I’ve seen some changes that my physical body has gone through. And within that are the realization that any day the Cancer could spread and get worse and, what will I do if that happens.  and what if my body begins the process of dying’? Will I be aware of it if / when that happens? Will I ultimately lose the use of my bodies facilities? And can I overcome embarrassment if that were to happen? Will my body become ugly or deformed in some way, and if so, will my partner still want to be with me?

So to be clear,  I’ve been able to identifytjat the fear is about what my physical body will have to endure and so what I will have to endure with regards to the physical process of dying.  Any deterioration process.  The decay, the physical pain and suffering, any and all experiences that my physical body may go through – that’s what I’m referring to, that’s what I fear losing control of.  And now that I’ve been able to identify this point,  I’m already seeing my ability to stop accepting and allowing the emotional fear energy to overpower me.

I’m also investigating how I’ve accepted and allowed ‘avoidance’ and ‘despair’ to play a role in me not having the endurance to stand up to this fear of losing control which itself leaves me with the illusion of an inability to direct myself effectively to forgive and release myself of the emotional fear energy experience.  More on these in blogs to come.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach emotional fear energy to having Cancer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my mind attach the word cancer to emotional fear energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach the effects of cancer on my physical body to the emotional fear energy within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that to accept and allow myself to go into emotional fear energy is doing the very thing to myself as my Physicalbody that I am fearing the cancer will do.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare my cancer story to those who have survived their cancer story.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced and unmotivated by the emotional fear energy that I have associated with having cancer and with which I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to causing myself to want to give up.

I commit myself to when and as I see emotional fear energy come up in relation to cancer and what having it might do to me, I stop. Instead I direct myself to Breathe and focus on remaining realistic with regards to any and all fears and / or symptoms that may come up from moment to moment and to Not compare my cancer story to those who have survived cancer and to understand that in reality the process of alternative cancer care will have physical symptoms and/or reactions that are Not life threatening and are only a part of the healing process.

Suggested Eqafe Interview: Incurable Diseases – Fears & Phobias

******************************

For Further Context Read:

Day 289: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – that sinking feeling that comes with the giving up experience – Day 42

Day 288: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Giving up, Giving in, or Both? – Day 41

Day 290: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – stopping emotional reactions to myself – Day 43

******************************

Day 292: Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much

Born in Middle Class America, my story isn’t special. Meaning, how I experienced myself growing up could be your story, or anyone’s story for that matter. Let me explain.

I was in second grade, around 7 or 8 when I first become aware of the variety of masks that people wear as their making some sort of a connection when they’re beginning a relationship with each other. I recall having strong emotional fears with regards to deciding which mask or character / personality to become even though I understood that it all depended upon the situation and the people and how I wanted to experience and express myself when being around them.

Bottom line, I was scared. Scared to get too close to anyone, because already by the time I was 7, I understood that people don’t stay, they leave. They go their own way for whatever reason and from the very beginning, I didn’t like subjecting myself to the emotional pain that inevitably happened when a relationship stopped / ended. It’s no surprise then that I can relate so much to the following quote:

“I find people around me are all making some kind of connection, like friendship or romance. But human bonds always lead to messy complications. Commitment. Sharing. Driving people to the airport. Besides, if I let someone get that close, they’d see who I really am and I can’t let that happen. So, time to put on my mask.” Dexter Morgan (Character) from the Showtime series: Dexter

I accepted early on in my life that what was going on within my mind with regards to my thoughts and my feelings and emotions within a fear of loss at the prospect of being rejected wasn’t worth giving my whole self to.  Because being rejected felt like losing a part of myself.  And so as I participated within and as ALL that,,, I withdrew into my own little world within and as my mind where I believed the lies that I told myself – which was that I didn’t want or need anyone to be happy, yet I was anything but happy.

So during my first couple of years in elementary school I remember spending a lot of time watching and observing other kids in my class. I envied the kids who would become the teachers favorite, and every day during recess I remember watching as the kids in my class ran around having fun together playing.   I remember wondering why I felt so alone and lonely inside myself and as I watched them go about their business, I experienced quite a bit of negative emotions and insecurity within and towards myself.  Inside my head, I was having thoughts / backchat,  asking myself what is wrong with me that I can’t seem to make the kind of connections with others that I see them making amongst themselves…

Almost in-spite of myself, by the time I reached middle school, I had established a few close friendships / relationships, both male and female. But even then, something within me in how I experienced myself within my relationships was off in that I felt like I never completely fit in with the relationship.  It was like I watched myself put on a mask, and depending upon who I was with, I would become some sort of character / personality, and in doing so, within my mind I began to blame and spite and resent others for how I was experiencing myself and I felt emotionally defeated.

I realize now that how I experienced myself back then and how I experience myself now with regards to my relationships with others, both individual or within a group, whether personal or business – had / has nothing to do with anyone else but me. Meaning, I am responsible for what goes on within me at all times and the same goes for what’s going on within and as my outer world / reality, because our outer world is a reflection of what we’re accepting and allowing to exist within us.

Therefore,  it’s important that I Stand Committed and walk this point through, breathing through the resistance in order to become stable and supportive within and as the Desteni Group , which is and has always been quite a pilar of support for me.  This I am currently walking the corrective application for,  but clearly,  my early experience into society as a child has influenced every relationship I’ve had…

 

Investigating the point now, I see how when I was a kid,  one of the things that would have assisted me greatly, would have been if someone – like my parents, or a teacher – would have been able to offer me support and guidance for what was going on within and as my mind, as thoughts and pictures, and the feelings and emotions and the fear!  That would have made a world of difference for me when I was growing up.

 

And I mean, it’s only been through walking the lessons in Desteni I Process Pro and applying the tools that the course provides that I’ve been able to understand for myself the goings on within and as my mind.  And more than ever, I see how important it is that we walk this life together supporting each other with a partner as well as walking within and as a Group.

changing the world together with dipThe Group should be supportive of ALL Life, because let’s be serious, there is NO WAY that one person will ever be able to bring about the kind of change that this world and everyone in it so desperately seek.

The kind of change that is required to our monetary system as well as All the world systems.

And unless we stand together as a Group and support the kind of freedom where the Foundation of Life on Earth begins with making All worldly decisions based upon and according to what’s best for all. That’s the only way that we can ensure that money is no longer God and thus no longer the thorn in everyone’s side and then, when we stop stressing out over NOT having food, or water and a home and clothes and an education – when All that mess and stress ends we’re going to be shocked at how just that point alone will completely change the relationships we have with each other and the relationship we have with others within our world.

If one look at the history of man and how our relationships with one another are by way of our thoughts and feelings and our emotions – we can then see how participating in them keeps us from being able to be objective. And when we’re not being objective then we fall into the realm of subjectivity – which means our decision making is personal, and subject to the influence of opinions by way of beliefs and thoughts and feelings and even subject to how we’re experiencing ourself at any given moment. And come on, at this point the decisions made in this world is also made based upon ego and greed, profit and the fear of survival!

I mean, there’s a lot going on within our mind that we cannot accept and allow when making life and death decisions with regards to how our current monetary / world systems operate / function.

And, until we can understand our own minds – like how and why we think and react like we do – because what I’ve learned through walking the Desteni I Process course is that I can direct who I am as my mind and in doing so I am able to take responsibility for myself and for what and how I’ve accepted and allowed Life on Earth to be lived as.

It’s Time to Question Our Reality, and come together as a Group to agree on a money system that will support Everyone… If we can’t do that, then we’ll have to continue to suffer because Hell on Earth is just getting started.

Time to forgive ourselves and each other, and make the most important decision we’ll ever make, not in the name of ouself but in the name of and for the future of how Life itself will be experienced as dignified here on Earth.

 ENROLL TODAY!

New: Dip Lite – Free Course

Desteni I Process Pro

Ode to our Children

Visit the New:

Self & Living Channel

Day 291: What’s worth giving for?

When I was growing up as a kid I wasn’t able to see my biological father every day and so as a kid, I barely knew him. Mostly I knew him as this person who I ‘thought’ about alot in my head. I wanted to have the kind of father-daughter relationship that I heard my friends speak of and when that didn’t happen, I made up scenario’s in my head about what that might look and feel like. Growing up I spent one week out of every year with him and for the longest time I felt robbed of something and eventually, I blamed him and became very angry and resentful at him for not living up to how and what I ‘thought’ a dad should behave and act like.

So for most of my life the relationship that I had with my biological father was one that I had made up within and as my mind. Eventually, after one failed marriage and the impending collapse of my second one, I took a trip to see my father and for the first time I was able to share with him how I had thought and felt about him throughout my life.
worth giving for
An interesting thing that came to be in that moment – of what must have seemed to him like brutal self honesty being thrown at him from every direction – was that I for the first time realized that the entire ‘idea’ about him that I had participated within and as in my head, couldn’t have been more wrong. I remember watching his every move while I was sharing with him and was taken back by the man standing before me who never took his eyes off of me while I spoke. It was like he was intent to hear every word I said and I can only describe him as displaying an elegance as he quietly within himself seem to take responsibility for how I had felt and experienced myself with regards to him.

And it was an interesting moment because within a small moment of awareness between us, I was able to forgive him and in the process forgive myself. It would be years later before I would come to see, realize and understand that it was never about forgiving him, it was always about forgiving myself. And I mean, he offered no apologies, and as it turned out I didn’t need an apology. What I needed from him was what he gave me when he took responsibility for being who he was, and it forever stopped and changed the nature of our relationship.

Alright so that was many years ago and since then him and I have kept in touch, however, since we live hours from each other it’s been difficult to see him as much as I would have liked to. So when I was diagnosed with cancer a year and a half ago, him and I began to speak on the phone often, and over the course of the last year we’ve gotten to know each other free from judgments, blame, shame and /or guilt. Which is cool because when you remove feelings and emotions from the equation what you get is a stable meaningful and assisting relationship. That’s how our relationship has been developing and we would talk about lots of things like money for instance, and about how hard it is to survive in this world.

He knew the challenges of making ends meet in a money system that is obviously broken. Nevertheless, he worked hard and made a good living working in a machine shop that built airplane parts for a major corporation for many years. Unfortunately there were very few regulations back then with regards to protecting the skilled laborer and so he was exposed to breathing extremely fine metal shavings which over time accumulated and the result was irreversible lung damage.

So 10 years ago he was diagnosed with severe lung damage and already outlived the amount of time the doctors first predicted he’d have left to live. During that 10 year time span, the Doctors prepared him for how the end of his life would most likely happen – congestive heart failure and possible kidney and/ or organ failure do to the meds to reduce the fluid build-up that comes with having poor lung function / congestive heart failure.

So unfortunately he’s been in and out of the hospital over the past few months and his quality of life has been deteriorating daily, but even so, what I was aware of the last time that him and I spoke was how he spoke with a quiet resolve.

The last time him and I spoke was about a month ago, and this morning my dad passed away.

I will miss him. I will miss our chats. And, I am grateful that him and I came together as we both faced illness and our fear of death and dying. When we would speak, the tone of his voice held no feel of judgment. Maybe that’s what allowed him the gentleness that came through in his nature during his last months here which really assisted me to see, realize and understand what’s worth giving for, which is Life. That whatever it takes, LIFE must Not be experienced as a suffering by anyone, and to ensure that doesn’t happen ever again, we Give to All,  that which we would want given to ourself.

***************

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place all my trust in Love instead of the common sense of living in ways that is practically best for all life and thus best to be the foundation of all relationships in all ways.

I commit myself to reform the foundation of love to be the result of effective common sense living in a practical measurable way where all cards are always on the table and no thoughts exist that are hidden that could lead to justification and judgments that will end up in break-ups purely because the self interest of feeling was measured to be worth more that the integrity and respect of self honest living.

I commit myself to hold only life as worthy and holy and to reform all relationships on earth to that which respect and protect life in all ways necessary.

I commit myself to reform the understanding of the place and use of the mind and thinking to its rightful place as a tool with which to design living patterns of flesh as self that is best for all life and not allow myself the compromise to regard the mind as more than life and as a tool that has rights that overshadow life.” Bernard Poolman

Day 290: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – stopping emotional reactions to myself – Day 43

For Context Please Read:

Day 288: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Giving up, Giving in, or Both? – Day 41

Day 289: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – that sinking feeling that comes with the giving up experience – Day 42

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into emotional reactions within the ‘giving up experience‘, where I’ll become easily irritated and impatient which causes resistance within me which I often allow to influence my relationships in how I respond and interact or react to / with others, as well as with myself from the starting point of the irritation and / or impatience.

dip lite picI forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that ‘giving up’ is a process that manifests within and as my mind as consciousness and for accepting and allowing myself to beLIEve that it is me who is making the decision to give up, when in fact the decision to give up began the moment I first resisted and / or reacted to a part of myself within my mind and for that moment when I first turned against myself in my mind which is the exact moment when I gave up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to emotional feeling reactions / energies, which give way for consciousness to make the decision for me to make the giving up official.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to so easily and readily give up on myself and for how I look to find something wrong in things and / or for looking for something somewhere to judge and attack myself or others for.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself being pulled into and as irritation and / or impatience and / or resistance within the emotions of the giving up experience, I Stop, I Breathe and move myself to do whatever I can to assist myself - such as writing out what’s going on within me in that moment and / or by taking a short walk or playing fetch with my dog – rather than giving in and accepting and allowing myself to be pulled into and as my mind as ‘the giving up on myself experience‘.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself reacting within my head towards myself, I stop and breathe, I direct myself to in that moment do self investigation to understand my relationship with the point of giving up so to assist myself to walk through the point with stability – instead of reacting and judging myself and building up more emotional and feeling reactions which lead to consciousness making the decision for me to make the giving up process official.

I commit myself to stop giving myself over to my mind within and as the giving up process / experience – to instead investigate the thoughts / voices in my head that I’ve been listening to and the emotions / energy that I’ve been participating in that have turned me against a part of myself in my mind and within that for using entertainment / television as a tool for my mind to fuel itself – to instead use the mind consciousness system to work for me instead of against me in remaining aware of how in that moment of giving up, look at how / why I’m being so hard on myself with regards to this exact point, and how in doing so it further builds a hardness within me, a wall, wherein I’m not able to recognize my own potential, therefore, I commit myself to write out, investigate and identify the mental and physical effects of the giving up process and to practice embracing myself as I continue to walk this process while assisting my physical body to correct imbalances and heal itself.

I commit myself to recognize and appreciate myself for remaining consistent within the process of assisting and supporting myself, my physical body to heal itself of cancer.

Day 289: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – that sinking feeling that comes with the giving up experience – Day 42

For Context Read:
Day 288: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Giving up, Giving in, or Both? – Day 41

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated and controlled by a sinking feeling within the pit of my stomach, where who I am as my mind, as consciousness, seems to pull me into an abyss of sorts, a dark hole within myself wherein I have no motivation and where nausea and fear makes me want to give up before I’ve even given myself the opportunity to get started, therefore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be sucked into my mind which then pulls me away from my physical body / reality and living.

sinking feelingI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed with the energy experiences I have in relation to myself and the challenges I’m facing with regards to having breast cancer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate how the mind uses entertainment to control and manipulate and keep one locked into and as the very fear of facing and giving up on one’s self with regards to whatever it is one is resisting to look at / face / change about oneself.

I commit myself to Stop using entertainment / television as a way of allowing myself to be drawn into and as my mind – which then initiates a sinking feeling and then the giving up process – instead, I commit myself to make the decision to immediately pull myself back into the here, to remain stable within and as my physical body.

I commit myself to get out of the energy and give myself the opportunity to be here within and as my body, to see, realize and understand that I am able to stand up and direct my world and my reality.

I commit myself to whenever I’m facing a difficult moment, where I see that I’m experiencing physical reactions – that come with the type of treatments I’m using – I stop, I breathe, I direct myself to remain aware of what’s going on within me at that moment, to Not fear the sinking feeling, and to instead look at what’s going on within me and speak the words ‘I am here’, to assist myself to ground myself back to an awareness that is aligned within and as my physical body and physical reality.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself facing a challenge where I become nauseous and experience a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I stop, I breathe, I see, realize and understand that in that moment I’m being shifted into and as my mind, so when such a moment of energy occur, I commit myself to shift myself back into and as my physical body and reality and to take the moment to look again at the solutions that I’m using to solve my particular problem / challenge that I’m facing.

 

Day 288: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Giving up, Giving in, or Both? – Day 41

giving up
Today for me, is ‘Day 5 ON’, meaning it’s day 5 of intense pancreatic enzyme therapy as part of the ongoing alternative treatment plan I’ve been walking as a way to assist my body to heal itself – taking up to 72 pancreatic enzymes a day is part of my plan that recognizes how Cancer is a Metabolic disease.

“At least 86% of all cancer conditions could be adequately treated and/or prevented by diet and pancreatic enzymes.

Cancer is a symptom of inadequate and deficient protein metabolism. The real problem is protein metabolism, not cancer. Cancer is only a symptom telling those who would listen that their protein metabolism is in very serious trouble. Surgery, radiation and chemotherapy only treat the symptoms of cancer.

One hundred years ago Dr. John Beard at the University of Edinburgh discovered that the body’s primary mechanism for destroying cancer is contained in pancreatin, a secretion from the pancreas that includes enzymes for digesting protein (among other things). Enzymes digest or liquefy foods for absorption by the body. Dr. Beard presented pictures in his books and papers to show recoveries using pancreatin. ” One Answer to Cancer

So for those of you who have followed my blog, you already know that in addition to following a strict metabolic diet, I add the pancreatic enzymes which ingest cancer cells, this then should adequately treat and/or can possibly eliminate / prevent cancer.  Also, as part of my daily treatment plan, throughout my day, I take high doses of vitamin C and I take specific mushroom capsules,  as well as Vitamin B17 and I also take multivitamins and other supplements that aid in supporting a healthy immune system.

The metabolic balancing that must occur within the body in order for it to heal itself requires that one eat the proper foods, which during my ‘on days’ can be quite challenging because just as with chemotherapy, the body becomes mild to severely toxic – which can cause a lack of appetite, as well as nausea and /or diarrhea, which are just a few of the many reactions that one may experience physically.

It’s kind of like having the flu and it’s vital that every single day, that I assist my body to detox effectively, by way of the coffee enema for example. It’s also important that my kidneys get flushed well daily so I drink liberal quantities of fluids, such as water and a variety of fresh juices. Cleansing my skin is also important and most people, including myself have overlooked it’s importance.

“Most people overlook the skin as an organ of detoxification. But it is sometimes called “the third kidney,” since many of its functions in fluid and electrolyte balance are similar to those of the kidneys. When great amounts of poisons flood the body, all systems are overloaded and this function of the skin is sorely needed. As the skin is utilized, all sorts of eruptions, odors, colors, and blemishes may appear. These conditions will disappear as the body becomes purified.

One can quickly assess the relative efficiency of elimination through the skin by looking at his iris (the colored portion of the eye). The skin is represented by the outermost part of the iris. If it is very dark and dense, the condition is called a “scurf rim” in iridology, and it means that the skin is relatively blocked as an organ of elimination. To open it up, skin brushing before a shower and vigorous use of a loofah sponge in the shower are recommended…

At the end of the shower, one should turn the water to cool, then to warm. As one becomes accustomed to the temperature change, he or she may go from hot to cold and back several times. This exercises the tiny muscles in the skin, which control dilation and contraction of the pores. As they become stronger, they can respond better to the physiological demands of the body.

After the shower, one can sit in a tub of water with a cup of apple cider vinegar added, to restore and strengthen the acid mantle of the skin. Afterward, the body should be dried and rubbed briskly with a towel until a warm glow is felt.

Epsom salt baths may also be used to help draw toxins out of the skin. These baths are especially beneficial if one is going through a “healing crisis” and is especially toxic and feeling bad.” Dr. William Donald Kelley, D.D.S., M.S.

 

Alright so what happens is that during my days ‘on’, when I’m feeling my worst physically, that’s when I tend to let myself get lost within and as this particular pattern that I’ve come to realize is one that I’ve participated in for most of my life in that, when I would get the flu or become sick, I would plop myself in front of the t.v., and then lose myself within whatever it was/is that I’ve chosen to entertain myself with in order to take my mind off of being sick.

I’m not implying that one should never watch television or movies, but like with everything, moderation is key. The problem is, in my past,  I’ve been the type of person that goes overboard with things, which can cause addictive behaviors and within that an imbalance within and as my physical body may occur.  That’s not acceptable.

Thus here, and in blogs to come, I will investigate this point further to establish a point of stability within myself, so as to be able to direct myself and walk my process more effectively and so Stop accepting and allowing myself to become automated memories / patterns.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in a way give up on myself in that when I feel physically ill, I don’t direct myself to walk my process as effectively as I know I’m capable of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to the ‘giving up experience‘, the energy and the mind manipulation of and as it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I’m physically sick, to adhere to the desire to entertain myself emotionally by watching movies / television series and / or by watching comedies as a way to forget about how bad I feel physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get stuck in patterns of mind manipulation, where I participate in thoughts and emotions of feeling sorry for myself and then the feeling sorry for myself gives way for repeat patterns, where it’s like I’m just killing time so to speak, until I start feeling physically better again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk myself into ‘giving up and/or giving in’, where within my mind my thoughts are ‘I won’t be able to see this thing through’, and within that for allowing myself to believe that it’s just a matter of time before I fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be taken in by the energy within my definition and acceptance of ‘feeling bad’ and for the thoughts that come with it of ‘I can’t do this anymore’ and for the consequences that ‘giving in’ to and ‘giving up’ manifests.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move myself into my mind‘s justifications and excuses / reasons / energies and / or backchat / thoughts to such a degree that I will feel unfulfilled or incomplete because in and as self sabotage, I’m not putting my all into whatever it is that I’m physically practically walking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I’m giving up on myself when in fact, I’ve been giving in to and accepting and allowing patterns and behaviors to have control and direction over me.

I commit myself to Stop participating in the ‘giving up experience‘, the energy, the mind manipulation of and as it.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself having physical reactions to treatment, to Stop and breathe, to not accept or allow myself to run in and as automated patterns / behaviors of over indulgence in watching t.v.

I commit myself to learn about myself and to develop and grow within who I am by moving myself to put my all into whatever it is that I’m doing through learning about myself to develop who I am as my expression and my living through self honesty and according to what’s best for all.

 

Previous blog with similar topic to this one,  read:

Day 286: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – The Nature of Worry – Day 40

Day 287: Stuttering: LifeStyle Experiment Report

This is to share the results of an intervention of sorts that involved my daughter and I assisting and supporting her son / my 11 year old grandson with stuttering and how it affected his lifestyle, his life.  At the time he was struggling terribly with the fear of having to stand in front of his entire class and speak as part of a graded assignment because he was afraid he’d start stuttering in front of everyone.

stutteringMy daughter and I spoke frequently about solutions that might assist him, like speech therapy for instance – which he did get.  Speech therapy is designed to teach specific skills or behaviors that will lead to improved oral communication.

But, there was still a problem because when he experienced what he perceived within his mind to be a stressful situation, he didn’t have the tools to handle himself and so instead of saying what he wanted to say, stuttering would overcome him and disable him from being able to continue.  And, when that happened, he would kind of shut down inside himself,  and so practicing his communication skills was greatly limited.

So it was a little over a year ago when my oldest daughter and I were looking together for a solution for when such moments would overcome him when I realized that with what I’m learning through the Desteni I Process Pro Course  or even in DIP Lite – that if he applied even just one of the many tools that the courses offer, that maybe he’d be able to assist himself when the stress or anxiety and fear come up and stop stuttering all together.

And so my daughter assisted him daily to apply himself,  and it’s important to understand that we kept it simple in how we suggested to him that when he see himself become anxious, or when the stutter begins, that he take that moment to first breathe, and pay close attention to what his thoughts are when the anxiety / ot stuttering begins.  In the beginning the process was like taking baby steps, but then we saw how over time and as he got better at looking at and identifying his thoughts, that’s when we began to hear him peak without stress or stuttering and within that he began to develop self-trust.

It’s fascinating how becoming aware of one’s thoughts and stopping them, that one can control and even Change who they are, and in this case, bring an end to stuttering, because here it is a year later, and I haven’t heard him stutter in months.   And when and if he finds himself in a moment of stress and / or stuttering begins, it’s nice to know that he has a tool that he recognizes will assist him to be able to stop and then speak clearly.

Can you imagine what it would have been like or would be like if as a child you’re given these wonderful tools that help you to understand all the thoughts and the feelings and All the emotional stresses that exist within and as our mind?

It would of made quite a difference for me because if I could have understood how and why I was having all kinds of emotional turmoil within and as my mind,  I would of been more receptive with regards to my education process for one thing and more considerate of others,  because if we’re spending less time participating in our fears within and as our mind then we’re able to make time to nurture our relationships with others, our reality and what’s going on within and as our world.

So we’ve got to make it a priority to blog, to write out what’s going on within us,  and to get to a point where we are able to assist our children in stopping who and what we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be as our mind,  and doing so will make all the difference in the world for All of US.

And, let’s be honest, most of us have no clue what to do with all the chatter / backchat and fears that exist within us as our mind.  Until one day we realize how stuck we are in our very own secret mind world, and within that comes all sorts of unwanted patterns / behaviors.

So there is no doubt about it, if we can understand why and how thoughts and feelings and emotions come up within us that cause all sorts of reactions and conflict, then we can forgive them, release / stop them, and re-design who we are free from fear and self-limitation. And I mean, as we change our relationship with ourself to one where we take responsibility for who we are as our mind and begin to direct ourself in self-honesty, then we can begin to change our relationships with others and then maybe we can change Life on Earth to a place where living is about giving – instead of life being the struggle that it is to survive.

FYI: Please understand that the results shared here will vary from person to person, and that there are many tools that are offered through Desteni I Process courses that will further assist one in the process of stopping a habit / pattern / construct that exists within and as our mind – like for example, stuttering.

Also understand that there is much to consider with regards to understanding what goes on within and as the mind consciousness system and stuttering.  Please direct your questions about stuttering to the Desteni Forum. Thanks!

Oh and my grandson is now applying a similar process to help himself to stop biting his nails. I will share the results as they’re available.

 

“When you’re setting out to change something about yourself it’s not going to happen magically on it’s own – you have to be the driving force behind it. Changing a pattern of behaviour or a thought pattern requires that you actually do the new behaviour that you want to live and stop the old behaviour. This concept of fake it till you become it is exactly it – you have to practice and push yourself to do things and behave in ways that are outside your comfort zone and that may seem scary.
The first important thing you must make sure of is that that fear of “what if (I do it badly, it ends up being the wrong choice, I can’t do it…)” doesn’t stop you. Obviously changing yourself is going to need practice, so you won’t get it perfect the first (or second, or third, or even hundredth) time – but you have to keep practicing until you become the new pattern that you feel will benefit, the pattern that you actually want to live in your life.” Cerise Poolman

 

Check out the FREE online course and Learn Essential Life skills:
Desteni I Process Lite


A Must Hear Series: Parenting – Perfecting the Human Race

 

Blogs to Read that go Great with the topic of this Blog:

Day 26 – Me as a Weakling Polar B(F)ear – Part 1

Day 27 – Me as a Weakling Polar B(F)ear – Part 2

Day 256 – SF/SCS on Day 237 – On Taking Security Measures All The Time

Day 245 The great Gifts ( And Downfalls) Of Being an Introvert – Is Change possible?

Part 2: The Great Gifts ( and Downfalls) Of being an Introvert – Sinking Relationships