Archive | February 2012

2012 – Proving Human Nature Can Change

Recently, I read how ‘Philosophers have so far been unable to define ‘human reason’ any better than by saying that it is ‘good thinking’ in a systematic collection of language. The Language being that of Consciousness pre-programming – designs in polarity of right/wrong, good/bad and positive and negative.

I considered this today as I was saying bye to my daughter and granddaughter. As they were walking to the front door my daughter stopped and looked to the floor in front of Emmeline, (who’s 19 months old) and said: ‘ I think she just kind of threw up a little on the floor’. I was standing just behind Emmeline and I was holding a dish towel in my left hand from just finishing cleaning the kitchen – as her momma and I were looking silently to the floor, Emmeline gently turns around and retrieves the dish towel from my hand, leans down and gently soaks up what appeared to be nothing more than a small puddle of spit. lol, She likes to spit. Emmeline then placed the towel back in my hand and reached for the door handle to open the front door.

It was a simple moment and such moments of simplicity to often escape us instead of us seeing the relevancy of them. It’s interesting to see how a human being at 19 months old simply took action and moved in and as the moment. There was no appearance of any existing conflicts between thoughts and feelings and/or right/wrong and/or positive/negative. Obviously, she’s witnessed spills being cleaned – however, she’s not yet formed opinions and/or fears which are then accessed where one is subject to one’s ‘reasoning’ and therefore the entire movement of self is subject to self denial.

This for me further supports what I’m proving to myself daily through Desteni I Process – that human nature can change.

Consider that human beings are not born lazy, gay, or addicted – just to name a few of the many excuses and explanations we give for ourselves – that we’re living learned behaviors and memories which we take direction as through patterns which we are actually quite capable of stopping. We can see this for ourselves and we can stop how and what we accept and who we’ve become and even how and what makes emotions so incomprehensible to us.

We are each aware of how we participate in and as a secret place within our mind of backchat. Thoughts where we judge, criticize and imagine and fantasize until ultimately we move ourself as and experience them in way one or another.

The human being is the only species on this planet that accepts contradictions based in ideas and beliefs that are not only conscious, subconscious and unconscious – they are stricken in patterns of consistent and inconsistent polarities. To the human – it seems that his emotions and actions are independent of his thinking and we’re even at war with it. When in fact, our emotions are following pre-conceived conclusions. As such – we come to accept self dishonesty without even our awareness of doing so.

The emotions and feelings within one’s perception within the context in which they exist – through and as participation in and as the Mind of Consciousness – is not even real, yet they’re operative and deadly nonetheless.

Ideas, beliefs and opinions – all of which anyone can see for themself in self-honesty – has formed who we’ve become and are based in self interest and greed. We’ve either forgotten and/or we were never aware of the forming of our pre-designed and mimicked/learned behaviors, and we accept ourselves as such through relationship implication which then becomes the religion of self.

We have to stop existing without identifying the facts of what it is that we’re allowing within our behaviors which we actively work to not know, all the while seeking outside of ourselves in an endless search to ‘find ourself’. Where’s the logic? Where is the common sense?

We have to stop living reasons as the mind directing us and direct ourselves as our mind according to what’s best for all.

Young children are our proof, that we have the ability to change human nature if we are willing to see, hear and get to know who we really are as life through investigating self in self-honesty.

Make a Decision in 2012 that is Supportive of and as All Life and Stand up for a Solution that will jump start our own re-designing of humanity to Mankind – where all Life live in dignity.

Investigate and Support the Solution of Equal Money

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2012 – ‘Farming the Unconscious’ – Headless Chicken Solution

“The realities of the existing systems of production are just as shocking.” from the article ‘Farming the Unconscious’

If the article; ‘Farming the Unconscious’ seems ‘unthinkable’ to anyone, I can only submit that the act of thinking and the direction thereof as ‘the mind of consciousness’ is exactly how ‘Farming the Unconscious’ is even considered in the first place.

How is it that we don’t, or rather, we won’t consider the consequences of what we accept and allow in the name of money for profit to exist within our world? How is it as a humanity we are unable to detect our own evil thoughts and ways? Are we really so brainwashed and stupid that we aren’t able to see our own slavery within a system that disregards life in the name of personal gain and greed? There are so many atrocities in this world yet people have difficulty accepting a solution that will bring an end to them.

I challenge everyone to ask themselves how come an Equal Money System is the Solution for Our World. It’s the easiest question in the world to answer if one will stop and breathe and take a self-honest look at the horrendous amounts of suffering we’re allowing every day within our world. Life is a hellish nightmare. There are no fairy-tales being had unless you’re filthy rich and are paying someone to grant you your fairy-tale wish.

It’s quite insane that we’ve been conned to such a degree that we aren’t even able to understand how with Equal Money we are actually giving ourselves real freedom as heaven on earth. The old programming of believing we get heaven only after we’re dead doesn’t really make sense any more than the belief of dying and going to hell. After all, hell is already here and if hell is already here then heaven is possible here as well. For those who say hell isn’t here on earth then go on back and bury your head because you’re either filthy rich and/or are existing as The Enslavement of Man by Consciousness.

Understand the facts of this world and who are within them – Visit Desteni Forums for the details and investigate and support an Equal Money System.

Nonsensical world of fear

Recently my brother was hospitalized with viral pneumonia. When hearing about his illness, immediately members of my family were extremely upset. Of course this is a natural reaction in fear of death – fear of losing the person as well as that sudden remembrance of our own mortality – that we’re all going to die someday. When I received the call about how sick he was, what I noticed immediately was the tone of my daughters voice. She sounded as if she was crying so I asked her why was she crying and she replied with, ‘well, you know why’. I asked her if it was because of how my sister, (her aunt) had just died 4 months earlier and she quickly replied that no that wasn’t it. She said that she was scared because this is how grandma had died. My mom died a little over 10 years ago when she suddenly became ill and was put in the hospital with viral pneumonia. She was put in a drug induced coma after a few days of no improvement and never regained consciousness.

I realized that the fear she felt from that memory was her reasoning for how she was feeling and she accepted herself as it so she became the fear and was projecting her fear onto another. I also saw how within myself – I had not had that memory come forth. It’s not that I had forgot about it. Of course I hadn’t. I have however walked a mind construct on the particular memory through Desteni I Process but, I have to admit that even I was surprised in how the ‘memory/thought’ didn’t ‘cross my mind’ – as if that particular ‘cross’ was no longer mine to bare and all there was was an empty space which served as a point of awareness of myself forgiven.

As the days passed my brother’s biggest fear happened as they had to put him into a drug induced coma because he’d not improved. When I heard of their decision to do so, I noticed immediately the presence of an energetic fear slightly registering in the tips of my toes. I was like, hell no… I stopped – I focused on my breathing and immediately the energy no longer existed. It was in that moment that I realized that I had no clue as to why and how putting someone in a drug induced coma is a solution to assist one to heal from viral pneumonia.

I began to investigate and discovered that inducing a coma has proved to stop the progression of viral, systemic fungal and/or bacterial infections. And that doing so has made it possible to reverse the expansion of physical illnesses from terminal to recovery. So basically, they’re stopping the mind because in a coma there is very little brain activity and so then the physical is given the ability to heal itself – free from worrisome thoughts which through our participation in and as them create emotions and feelings, which cause stress on our physical body preventing us from healing properly. The common sense in a nonsensical world of fear.

I’m again reminded how important it is to educate oneself with regards to how and why everything within our world exists as it does – beginning first with self.

Investigating self and this world requires self-honesty and self-diligence. And the fast pace in which we live, in how we struggle to survive within our current money system, does not allow for thorough due-diligence. We’ve got to change that, and we can by supporting an Equal Money System – which supports all Life according to what’s best for all. Then all life can begin truly living – instead of existing in a nonsensical world of fear.

As of now, my brother is stable and improving, so they are slowly reducing the amount of drug used to induce the coma until he is completely off of it. Ultimately, the choice of whether he survives is completely in his own hands. As it is with us all.

Sign up for Desteni I Process – Master tools and approaches with which you can take apart and deconstruct thoughts, feelings and emotions and remove the control and influence they have over you.

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2012 – Behind the ‘Made-in-China’ goods we Consume is the ‘Last Train Home’


Largest Human Migration in the World

The documentary; "Last Train Home", is the story of Chinese migrant workers – of which there are at least 130 million.   It explores the strain of one particular Chinese family as they struggle to make ends meet and maintain a relationship with their children, all the while enslaved to the factory where they work.  We witness the largest annual Human Migration in the World – when every year during the Chinese New Year, at least 130 million workers return from their jobs in industrial cities for visits to their homes and families in the countryside.

There are around 7 to 10 million new migrants who leave their villages and/or rural areas for the cities every year.  The migrants arrive by bus and/or train in the cities with their possessions crammed into nylon sacks.  In the cities they live in shanty towns, dormitories or public spaces and/or sometimes their home consist of the sidewalks.  The largest concentration of migrants is said to be in the Pearl River Delta in Guangdong Province, where there is an estimated 10 million migrants, including a half million child laborers.

lasttrainhome1Migrants living area

The average migrant worker earns approximately $100 a month and at least a third of it, they send home to family.  Families with at least one migrant worker are said to almost automatically be lifted above the poverty level of $1 a day.  Some workers don’t know how much they get paid and go years without receiving any money. They work 12 hour days, seven days a week, and receive room and board in a cramped dormitory with daily rations of rice and noodles, with $12 a month in spending money and money docked from their pay when they are sick.

It’s insane to see what the migrant workers endure every Chinese New Year. Where for hours upon hours they stand in a packed train station where the likelihood of being trampled is a high possibility as they each one wait for a ticket and the ability to return home.  The train ride home is a 2 day trip, at least and, after a week at home – they then leave to return to the factory job until the Chinese New Year arrives again and they are once again able to take time off to go home.

lasttrainhome2Train ride


Can you imagine it – you leave for work on a Monday morning knowing full well that you’ll not be returning home for a year!?  What this means for the migrant workers is that their children are left with family members to care for them while parents leave for a year to work and earn enough money for them all to survive.   When parents return from their year of work they admit they don’t know how to communicate with their children except to remind them to study hard in school, in the hopes for them a better life than they themselves are living. 

An interesting point about this documentary is the way we are not given any direction in how to feel about what is being shown.  It’s very cool in that, it’s up to us to see for ourselves the systems that we’ve accepted and allowed to exist within our world – and the human attempt to survive them within a world where no one seems to notice, much less care about the struggles of their fellow human being.

As I watched the insanity unfold within the carefully orchestrated madness in order for these people to simply survive – I noticed how my mind searched for answers with questions like, ‘why don’t these millions of people just stop’?  ‘Why do they continue to exist in such a way’? 

Of course, this is a question for us all to ask ourselves. And, I’m aware of how ‘stopping’ is not so easy in our Current Money System, because we require food and water to survive.  So this way of life, this is the migrants only means of surviving, and yet in the act of surviving – who is living?  The Truth is, we are All only existing according to the rules of a pre-designed program.  We are the puppets, we are the slaves…

lasttrainhome3Last train home


According to the 2010 census, China’s "floating population" – as defined as the ‘people who live apart from their homes’, and as defined by China’s stringent ‘hukou’ or household registration system – was from 144 million in 2000 to 261 million in 2010. 

Now, it is said to be impossible to discuss the issue of migrant workers without understanding what exactly a ‘hukou’ is.  The ‘hukou’ was introduced in the 1950s as a tool of central economic planning.   ‘Hukou’ is basically a resident permit given by the government of China.  Every family has a ‘Hukou’ booklet that records information about family members, including name, birth date, relationships with each other, marriage status, address and your employer.   It is said that the ‘hukou system’ registers every Chinese citizen according to their household origins as either town dwellers or country peasants.

Before 1980, people were required to stay at the small area they were born (where their Hukou is), and stay there until they die. They could not move around. They could travel, but there was no access to job, public services, education, or even food. 

Strangely enough – Migration to the cities has been described as “the most effective way for reducing the birthrate” and to improve life.  Improve life for who? The rich?…

And, the ‘World Bank’ has called migration “a powerful force for poverty reduction.”  That’s bullshit.  If even one single living being suffers in any way, and/or dies from starvation, then there’s one to many of us who have more than our share of the pie!

In 2005, 200 million migrants around the world sent home $167 billion. That is twice the size of the world’s development spending, and up from $31 billion in 1990.

Reports in late 2010 were that China will reform its household registration system and relax restrictions on permanent residence registration, or the ‘hukou’, in towns and small and medium-sized cities.   However, in my research,  I wasn’t able to see any difference made, as things are still existing as they’ve always existed.   Without a permanent residence registration, one is not able to receive public services, access to job benefits, such as a pension, nor are they able to receive adequate education for their children.  An update in statistics released by the Hubei branch of the All-China Women’s Federation, there are about 1.4 million children left behind by migrant parents seeking to earn a living.

The fact is, behind all of the ‘Made-in-China’ goods that each of us consume around the world, (In the United States there are $366 Billion in imports annually) are the migrant workers, of which the Chinese economy is so heavily dependent upon for export.  They are the backbone of the country, yet they are certainly not acknowledged as being so.  Without them, the economy and the wealthiest of those within the economy simply wouldn’t be. 

Again, the point here is to see how we humans are obviously pre-programmed to accept our current world mess and comply to the rules of enslavement.

It simply doesn’t make sense to continue to support any such a system that only provides a few (the rich) with everything while the many have very little and/or are starving to death.   Because, without those who labor day in and day out, working and struggling only barley to survive – without their support – there simply wouldn’t be anything here to be had by those who have it all.

When a system is broken what happens then?  When the brake system stops working in our automobiles what then?  We have to stop and replace them.   The common sense here is that the current systems within our world has reached way past broken to deadly. 

We have to begin first with a Solution to replace our Current Money System to one of an Equal Money System – in that single agreement we’ve already removed deadly to one where the value of life is according to what’s best for all life.  No one is forced to separate themselves from their children in order to provide their children with food to eat.   No one is left behind to suffer and/or die needlessly in the name of profit and greed.  With Equal Money – we stop ‘surviving’ – we begin ‘living’, as All as One as Equal.


Let’s get serious – Investigate and Support Equal Money



2012 – Blogging: Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few


When I saw and read the above picture – at first, I kind of chuckled, and then I became aware of how I didn’t really see it as funny.  I was aware of a reaction inside myself and I knew I was existing in polarity – with  inner conflict and my physical body became tense as if my inside was reaching out to me,  saying: hello,  breathe!  And I did…

The picture and the words on it, didn’t seem like such a big deal so how come it was?! 

Blogging is an extremely effective tool and anyone who blogs is aware of how assisting it is.  I began ‘writing myself to freedom’ and applying the tools suggested through Desteni Universe about 4 years ago.  I began with applying self forgiveness and then found a blog site and began blogging. 

Before 4 years ago – I wasn’t someone who wrote very often, though when I was a teenager I wrote poems that were mostly about parents who don’t understand their children and/or poems of heartaches of young love.   So, blogging and/or ‘writing myself to freedom’ wasn’t something that came easy for me. 

I began to push myself and realized how cool it is to write out my day and see what my thoughts are and why and how I was ‘feeling’ the way I was according to my participation as them…  It assists me to find out how and where I create myself into and as possessive and possessed mind personalities so to stop my participation.

It’s like becoming involved with, exposing, and assisting the direction of me as my inner world -  – to express me in self-honesty within and as my outer world.

Through self-forgiveness I’ve been able to release fear and in self-trust I’ve  seen myself clear to stop addictions; such as to nicotine/cigarettes, prescription drugs, weed, and gambling.  And,  I write because when I write it assists me to see where I’m accepting self-interest, ego and greed and being able to recognize myself in self-honesty. 

With the tools of writing/blogging, self-forgiveness and self-honesty, I’ve become self-accountable and self-responsible and within that I’m accumulating myself within a point of self-trust and self-respect in standing up according to what’s best for all.  So – writing/blogging is a self-movement for self to investigate and share self – not about how many people may or may not read what’s been written.

What I see is that when I read the words on the picture,  I found them to be patronizing or offensive and I allowed myself to became defensive.  The little chuckle was my physical body assisting me to see how and what I was accepting and allowing. 

It’s like, when one assumes one is being judged and it’s taken personally as if one is being attacked, but really it’s actually ‘self-judgment’.  Because the one who’s reading has to see oneself as being judged in order to be seeing the words as such.  Whether or not they were judgmental – it’s still a point to bring back to self because self  has to have perceived themself as being judged in order to take it personally.  In my secret mind, I took the words personally and so in writing this out, I’ve already seen how what seemed like an insignificant point was in fact a point of self-judgment.

I see how I was judging myself according to my past thoughts and memories and my participation in and as them.  Specifically for when I first began writing and how I wanted someone to read what I had written. I sought approval and validation – and there are still moments I breathe through in corrective application and forgive myself when I become aware of thoughts like: ‘I wonder if anyone read my blog’.  

The difference in how I was then and in how I’ve changed is that I’ve proven for myself how blogging has assisted me to release dishonesties through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.  Writing is about who self is within every single word we are living and breathing life as  – such as the words that we think and speak as well as write, and to see what we are standing equal to and one as. 

Everyone of us, as we walk through our day to day routines, we wear many masks as we seek to earn, please, compete and manipulate in order to arrive at some sense of surviving.  So writing assists us to see how and why we’re accepting and allowing ourselves to become that which we’ve been taught and believed and have accepted ourselves to be – and to stop it.  Thus we can begin to stop accepting and allowing greed and corruption and downright lies to exist within our world in the name of money.

It’s certainly true, that there are more people blogging and placing it on the internet than ever before and,  it provides everyone the opportunity to stop self-interest and stand up according to what’s best for all to bring about real change within our world.

Here are some interesting statistics with regards to internet usage: 


  • 2.1 billion – Internet users worldwide
    800+ million – Number of users on Facebook by the end of 2011
    100 billion – Estimated number of photos on Facebook by mid-2011
    1 trillion – The number of video playbacks on YouTube
    225 million – Number of Twitter accounts
    250 million – Number of tweets per day (October 2011)
    39 million – The number of Tumblr blogs by the end of 2011
    70 million – Total number of WordPress blogs by the end of 2011
    2.4 billion – Social networking accounts worldwide

There is also a website called:  ‘Worldometeres’,  where they show real time statistics and the number of daily blog posts are constant and the numbers are phenomenal. 

On Worldometers, one can also see how many people were born or died today as well as our current population and you can see how many people have died of hunger today which currently with half of the day over the number is currently: 17,800.

So blogging assist this world through our words as who we are through investigating and educating ourself to see what’s really going on within our world in self-honesty, and sharing it for anyone who may find it to be of assistance.  I’m grateful that I began blogging,  and I’m  grateful for the Desteni material and all those involved with Desteni – for the tools and suggestions and in how they’ve assisted me to push myself to see what I’m capable of. 

Which is how I came to be a blogger and how I’ve become more educated about myself and my world  with regards to how our current money system exists for example. 

With the number of people blogging and online,  it’s clear that the Internet is a critical component in almost everything we do. 

So – Let’s bring about real change within our world in 2012, beginning first with self in self-honesty and direct ourselves according to what’s best for all. 

Have a look at how we’ve created our world – the outer me reflecting the inner me which we deny through shame of what we ‘ve accepted and allowed to manifest in this world and thus the reason why we have not actually stood up and taken responsibility for ourselves.

Investigating and Educating oneself in self-honesty is an important act of self that one can do for self and every living being on this Earth.

Join us at Desteni As a Group we will bring forth a Solution to bring about real change where all living beings experience Life in Dignity.  The Solution is that of ‘Equal Money’ -  which will immediately stop the thousands who die daily from hunger as well as bring about an end to all of the atrocities that we’ve accepted and allowed according to a money system that values money over life

Self-forgiveness and Self-honesty is Key in assisting self to Walk this Life in Honor of/for and as All as one as Equal.  Let’s Stand Up as One Vote for Equal Money and Blog the hell out of this World. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am inferior and less than others because of my past thoughts and memories of who and how I existed as through self-judgment and self-interest. I stop, I breathe. I see and I understand how the patterns that I accumulated myself through the direction of my mind as consciousness requires self-corrective application and direction according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear my own truth where I then in self pity judge myself and within that wanting to be saved and/or validated by another instead of taking self-responsibility and realizing there’s no one able to judge and/or save or validate me except for myself in self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe thoughts of something as not being important or relevant with regards to walking my process as I’ve proven to myself that everything is relevant where self must bring it back to self to face and forgive in self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the mind instead of me being here with me in and as breath.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take things personally as a way of justifying and manipulating myself through distraction techniques as a way of avoiding facing myself and taking self-responsibility for how our world currently exists.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that others can only gain control over me if I believe/perceive myself to be less than/inferior to them, thus existing within and as separation with and as them. I stop, I breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as inferior towards others because I see they’re confident and I experience myself as unconfident – instead of realizing what I’ve already proved to myself which is that self-confidence is established through self-trust and self trust is established through self-honesty in every moment where I don’t accept and/or allow anything less that who I really am as life as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize who I am as joy as me here as who I am in every moment of breath in standing up for me as me and not accepting and allowing anything less than who I am according to a principle of equality.

Interesting,  just this moment finishing self-forgiveness and the tension in my physical body released.

2012 – How I’ve come to Value the ‘Message of Desteni’

From the moment I watched my first Desteni video, as well as reading the massive amounts of material on the Desteni Universe website – I was pretty much hooked. And, I had just 3 months prior to that spent two weeks in jail, from an unpaid traffic ticket of which I was supposed to do community service on – and I lacked a few hours of community service so I was arrested and put in jail for 26 days without bond. Now, as it turned out, I had a twisted my ankle and, I had crutches and so, the first 2 days of my time in jail was spent in solitary confinement. I did end up getting out 2 weeks later for good behavior.

But, those first 48 hours in solitary confinement had posed an interesting question to myself in that: I didn’t have the t.v. to look at, I didn’t have entertainment, I didn ‘t have,,, I wasn’t able to smoke, I was still smoking then. And, I wasn’t able to take drugs – I was on pain pills.

And I, all I had was myself. All I had was my thoughts and, for 48 hours I sit in the room – a little square cemented room and, avoided my thoughts, tried to sleep away my thoughts – just wanted to be out of there. I didn’t want to be locked away with the amount of thoughts that I begin to realize I had going on within my mind.

And so, that was a particularly amazing wake-up call for myself, actually. And so, when I heard the Desteni message, and I began to hear them speak about how to stop fear, and how to stop your thoughts – and to face yourself in self-honesty and to apply self-forgiveness – I remember literally realizing how valuable those tools would have been for me when I was in a 48 hour solitary confinement, as well as the rest of the two weeks that I was there.

And so, the fact that I could see myself within the material that they were presenting, and I saw the common sense, and I began to hear and, make sense of within myself – it was as though the message resonated within me in a way that I didn’t really understand but, I knew that it, it rang true, and that this very well could be a way to stop the fears that I had been participating in.

You know my grandmother used to tell me, when things get too much for you, just tie a knot and hang on. But the fact is, I was at the end of the rope and there was no more rope to tie a knot to hang on. And, I was disgusted and, pissed off, at myself, for the decisions that I had made and for the lack of responsibility, and I didn’t even ever consider not hearing the message from the moment I began to hear it.

And, another point stood out to me was, how we can have one singular memory, and that particular memory – it controls us. And, we base our decisions and, who we are, and our actions, according to one singular memory. And that rang true with me because, from the time that I was five years old, I can remember a memory that, as I looked at it closer, I could tell how I had literally just compounded, and compounded that memory with another memory right on top of it, in my attempts to avoid the original point within me that I was not facing within that memory – within the fears, and the judgments, and the self-justifications, and the points of manipulation that I existed as – that I applied myself as in order to validate myself through other people. Simply avoidance of self and avoidance of self-responsibility.

And, the point was validated through my relationship with my step-father, through which I would have statements of information that I had thought of, or heard, or seen, or read about things, or people, or situations – and within that I formed emotional feeling connotations within my own mind. And then, within the emotional feeling connotations, I could relate that statement of information, based on my past experiences with my step-dad, I identified with that statement of information and I validated it based on self-identity and self-definition. It was what I was ‘believing’ it to be, and ‘thinking’ about it to be, and judging myself accordingly, and believing that my step dad hated me – and when really, it wasn’t that case at all. I got to a point where I actually believed the man was abusive to me and, he wasn’t – no more than any other parent struggling to make ends meet and, just working to provide for their children.

Just that alone – the money – plays such a factor in our survival that we tend to become short with our children and, we have expectations of them that we wouldn’t normally have if we weren’t already experiencing the pressures of providing for them. In our current money system, that is how our families exist. That is how all relationships exist.

As I began to apply self forgiveness, was very cool to realize that one particular memory I had was when I turned 12 years old on my birthday, and my,,, I was asleep in my bedroom that morning, and my dad just come bursting into my bedroom and started spanking me and, I was asleep I didn’t understand what the hell was going on. I remembered thinking, more than anything, that like, ‘what the fuck did I do’, and when I heard my mom say ‘happy birthday’ – that they said they were playing – and within that moment, I became just humiliated and embarrassed and pissed more than anything. And I had thoughts of ‘how dare him’, ‘who does he think he is doing this to me on my birthday, it’s not funny’. And for years I carried around that singular memory of what I thought of him that day.

The way that I would experience myself in my life around my dad, my step-dad and, around men in general, was completely related to that particular memory. So, as I was applying and finishing up a lesson in Desteni I Process, I began to walk that memory construct of that particular morning when he came in there, and an interesting thing that I became aware was: a point within myself on that morning when he was spanking me was that I, for a brief moment, I knew that he was playing, but I didn’t allow myself to be aware of it at that particular moment. Because, I was too busy enjoying being pissed off. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself.

But, what was interesting to me the most was: I had not remembered that moment. I had not remembered that I knew he was playing. Until I walked this point, this construct in my Desteni I Process Lesson and, that’s when I went: I knew this all along. But yet, for 40 years, I allowed myself to abuse myself, and as such, I literally abused the rest of my world.

It’s not always particularly easy when you realize that you that you’ve accepted and allowed – just through participation in self-judgment, in greed, and self-interest – within those participations with the thought processes that go on with the amount of dishonesty that self exists as within that, and the lack of equality against life – it literally begins to manifest and, that is how we have created this world as it is.

So, these singular memory points was a point of polarity in the good/bad, right/wrong and fluctuations of energy within that – as far as one moment I was up, one moment I was down, I was up and down and up and down. And, when I began to hear the Desteni Message, I was, I knew that I didn’t have anywhere else to go except to face myself within.

What Desteni proposes is, in-fact as real as I’ve ever known anything to be. And, it is been the most rewarding journey that I’ve ever personally experienced and, it’s not even honestly an experience, it’s a, a becoming aware of yourself, and the responsibility that you actually carry, as well as each and every living being here, in bringing about a world that supports according to what’s best for all. That actually cares what happens to another. That is actually interested, that considers that there are actually children starving to death daily – thousands of children. And, realizing yourself within it.

And it’s a process I am continuing to walk and, realizing what I’ve accepted as far as that point of acceptance within myself – that point of acceptance that goes beyond anything of worth to self, other than knowing that you’re reaching this core part of yourself where you can actually reverse who you have been – you can actually reverse the madness, and the bullshit, that you’ve participated in through personalities and identities.

And, you begin to look at and you go: Uh, I know how it wasn’t real. I see now that I could have breathed through that, that I can breathe through that and, I do not have to be affected by it. I do not have to have points of energy that create a point of polarity within myself – remain within the physicalness of it all so, we can bring about a world that we can begin with an Equal Money System. A World that we’ll actually exist where we’re not competing, and we’re not existing in greed, and we’re not trying to outdo and outlast, and out-earn, and outplay, and we’ll be able to enjoy each other. To actually enjoy each other’s expression – where we’re not anticipating ourselves to be competing, in one way or another just to survive.

So, that is how the Desteni Message caused me to listen and, because of that direction that I chose, I have given myself the ability to re-educate myself, and to build self-trust, through investigating my world. And, not assuming and accepting what it is that is before me, whether it’s starvation or judgment, or animosity, or guilt – and, being able to recognize those points of self, that self has existed as, is remarkable, and it is something that is worth investigating, just to see for yourself.

It’s an accumulation of walking a process daily: Breathing and remaining aware of yourself. And, sometimes I fall. But, I already know – I have an agreement with myself and that agreement is: I have the will to continue to assist and support in bringing about an Equal Money System, and Heaven on Earth. To bring about a world where all life can actually express, and be and live abundantly with each other. And, that is how Desteni has assisted me. They’ve assisted me to realize myself within everything that’s here.

And, the point of ‘Equality’ was, at first, difficult for me to comprehend, and that was just a point of acceptance within myself, because I had accepted the way the world is and the way the struggles continue. And, once you begin to actually investigate, you begin to see that it’s really was just a point of a ‘lack of education’. And now, I’m aware of how an Equal Money System is the Ultimate Solution.

One must become willing to realize that the change that is required in this world is first required within self, in self-honesty. And then, once that begins, you can begin to will yourself to investigate and educate yourself with regards to how we can create heaven on earth with an Equal Money System.

This post is the transcription from my vlog titled: 2012 – How I’ve come to Value the ‘Message of Desteni’

Investigate Equal Money