Tag Archive | life skills

Day 292: Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much

Born in Middle Class America, my story isn’t special. Meaning, how I experienced myself growing up could be your story, or anyone’s story for that matter. Let me explain.

I was in second grade, around 7 or 8 when I first become aware of the variety of masks that people wear as their making some sort of a connection when they’re beginning a relationship with each other. I recall having strong emotional fears with regards to deciding which mask or character / personality to become even though I understood that it all depended upon the situation and the people and how I wanted to experience and express myself when being around them.

Bottom line, I was scared. Scared to get too close to anyone, because already by the time I was 7, I understood that people don’t stay, they leave. They go their own way for whatever reason and from the very beginning, I didn’t like subjecting myself to the emotional pain that inevitably happened when a relationship stopped / ended. It’s no surprise then that I can relate so much to the following quote:

“I find people around me are all making some kind of connection, like friendship or romance. But human bonds always lead to messy complications. Commitment. Sharing. Driving people to the airport. Besides, if I let someone get that close, they’d see who I really am and I can’t let that happen. So, time to put on my mask.” Dexter Morgan (Character) from the Showtime series: Dexter

I accepted early on in my life that what was going on within my mind with regards to my thoughts and my feelings and emotions within a fear of loss at the prospect of being rejected wasn’t worth giving my whole self to.  Because being rejected felt like losing a part of myself.  And so as I participated within and as ALL that,,, I withdrew into my own little world within and as my mind where I believed the lies that I told myself – which was that I didn’t want or need anyone to be happy, yet I was anything but happy.

So during my first couple of years in elementary school I remember spending a lot of time watching and observing other kids in my class. I envied the kids who would become the teachers favorite, and every day during recess I remember watching as the kids in my class ran around having fun together playing.   I remember wondering why I felt so alone and lonely inside myself and as I watched them go about their business, I experienced quite a bit of negative emotions and insecurity within and towards myself.  Inside my head, I was having thoughts / backchat,  asking myself what is wrong with me that I can’t seem to make the kind of connections with others that I see them making amongst themselves…

Almost in-spite of myself, by the time I reached middle school, I had established a few close friendships / relationships, both male and female. But even then, something within me in how I experienced myself within my relationships was off in that I felt like I never completely fit in with the relationship.  It was like I watched myself put on a mask, and depending upon who I was with, I would become some sort of character / personality, and in doing so, within my mind I began to blame and spite and resent others for how I was experiencing myself and I felt emotionally defeated.

I realize now that how I experienced myself back then and how I experience myself now with regards to my relationships with others, both individual or within a group, whether personal or business – had / has nothing to do with anyone else but me. Meaning, I am responsible for what goes on within me at all times and the same goes for what’s going on within and as my outer world / reality, because our outer world is a reflection of what we’re accepting and allowing to exist within us.

Therefore,  it’s important that I Stand Committed and walk this point through, breathing through the resistance in order to become stable and supportive within and as the Desteni Group , which is and has always been quite a pilar of support for me.  This I am currently walking the corrective application for,  but clearly,  my early experience into society as a child has influenced every relationship I’ve had…

 

Investigating the point now, I see how when I was a kid,  one of the things that would have assisted me greatly, would have been if someone – like my parents, or a teacher – would have been able to offer me support and guidance for what was going on within and as my mind, as thoughts and pictures, and the feelings and emotions and the fear!  That would have made a world of difference for me when I was growing up.

 

And I mean, it’s only been through walking the lessons in Desteni I Process Pro and applying the tools that the course provides that I’ve been able to understand for myself the goings on within and as my mind.  And more than ever, I see how important it is that we walk this life together supporting each other with a partner as well as walking within and as a Group.

changing the world together with dipThe Group should be supportive of ALL Life, because let’s be serious, there is NO WAY that one person will ever be able to bring about the kind of change that this world and everyone in it so desperately seek.

The kind of change that is required to our monetary system as well as All the world systems.

And unless we stand together as a Group and support the kind of freedom where the Foundation of Life on Earth begins with making All worldly decisions based upon and according to what’s best for all. That’s the only way that we can ensure that money is no longer God and thus no longer the thorn in everyone’s side and then, when we stop stressing out over NOT having food, or water and a home and clothes and an education – when All that mess and stress ends we’re going to be shocked at how just that point alone will completely change the relationships we have with each other and the relationship we have with others within our world.

If one look at the history of man and how our relationships with one another are by way of our thoughts and feelings and our emotions – we can then see how participating in them keeps us from being able to be objective. And when we’re not being objective then we fall into the realm of subjectivity – which means our decision making is personal, and subject to the influence of opinions by way of beliefs and thoughts and feelings and even subject to how we’re experiencing ourself at any given moment. And come on, at this point the decisions made in this world is also made based upon ego and greed, profit and the fear of survival!

I mean, there’s a lot going on within our mind that we cannot accept and allow when making life and death decisions with regards to how our current monetary / world systems operate / function.

And, until we can understand our own minds – like how and why we think and react like we do – because what I’ve learned through walking the Desteni I Process course is that I can direct who I am as my mind and in doing so I am able to take responsibility for myself and for what and how I’ve accepted and allowed Life on Earth to be lived as.

It’s Time to Question Our Reality, and come together as a Group to agree on a money system that will support Everyone… If we can’t do that, then we’ll have to continue to suffer because Hell on Earth is just getting started.

Time to forgive ourselves and each other, and make the most important decision we’ll ever make, not in the name of ouself but in the name of and for the future of how Life itself will be experienced as dignified here on Earth.

 ENROLL TODAY!

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Day 285: Letting go of holding on to what used to be

Today I stumbled upon the picture of a couple celebrating 40 years of marriage. Now, I knew them when they were a newly married couple and very much a part of my life, some 40 years ago. I was 18, newly married with a baby boy who was less than a year old when I first met them. My then husband and I met them through a new church we were trying out at the time. Him and I would go on to spend some 7 years of our life hanging out with the them and some other couple’s – all of us were part of a young couple’s group that at the time was growing rapidly with many babies on the way.

what used to be

So I haven’t seen or even heard anything about this couple for at least 30 years, which is around the time that my first marriage ended and I just never saw them again. My ex got custody of our church friends and the church, so seeing the picture of the two of them together celebrating 40 years of marriage triggered a memory of my life with them in it and what I noticed upon seeing it was how within me. I felt a sort of odd comforting energetic sadness.

The oddly familiar emotion / energy is the same as I’ve been aware of going on within me for awhile now. So with the thing coming up again I realize that here’s another opportunity to fall for it or face it straight on and not participate in the energy of the thing. Instead I focus on breathing and continue on without the energy but remaining aware of how within the memory is this sadness / emotion within the idea and self-judgments and fear of loss I have towards myself within my mind in seeing myself growing old..

The topic of growing old and all that it entails has been a familiar topic as of late within the group that my partner and I are apart of, and I highly recommend one watch the Senior Live Google Hangouts for awesome support for topics regarding growing older.

Ok so what I realized when I saw the picture of them looking 40 years older was a moment where within me, I missed me, the me I was when I was with them way back then. For a moment I saw who I was in the memory and I wanted to take in the energy as comfort as if it were real. Instead, I was able to Stop, to breathe and remain aware of myself as I investigated the memory and directed myself to not allow myself to be taken over by it and I realized how growing old feels like the death of ourself, like grieving for ourself.

And I mean, when I look in the mirror, I don’t see the face of myself when I was 20, or 30 or even 40! And the thing about growing old is that no one prepares us for it. Sure no one wants to die, but no one really wants to start looking old either. Oh sure people joke about it or even lie and say they enjoy being older… But, ask most people who are over 55 and they’ll tell you that one of the hardest things about getting older is that it’s like you become invisible to others. It’s like people don’t really look at older folks, and anyone who is used to getting attention / energy – based on how they look for example – for them, growing old may mean the beginning of depression and / or feelings of isolation.

Both depression and isolating myself from others is something that I’ve written much self-forgiveness for and yet the point of growing old and how that feels within myself, is one I continue to investigate with the tools I’ve come to learn through Desteni I Process Pro . Together with those tools, and having cancer, I have the opportunity to physically reverse some of the damage that I’ve caused to my physical body through how and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be through and as my mind.

I see, realize and understand that, specifically with forgiving myself and letting go of holding on to what used to be. I see how within what feels like grief or sadness is actually a reaction of energy within the ‘fear of loss‘ and ‘fear of letting go’ construct. Seeing that,, I had to ask myself what holding onto things within myself within the construct of ‘fear of loss’ and ‘fear of letting go’ – how is being that construct, controlling and influencing my physical body..?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as my physical body to be in a constant state of fear that something may or might be lost and within that, I forgive myself for the adrenaline that comes up within my physical body as stress within the fear of ‘I must be ready’, for if and when something goes wrong that would cause me to lose control or cause me to lose my relationship to that something or someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the words, ‘you can’t control it’ within the ‘fear of loss’ and ‘fear of letting go’ construct.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the relationship between the words; ‘letting go’ and ‘control’ – where I’ve created an illusion that if I don’t control something or someone I will lose it/them and/or I will lose the context of myself in relation to that something or someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how that control and fear of loss relationship that the emotional energy creates is a physical tension within and as my physical body and how that physical tension imposes stress within and on the physical body.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my relationship with regards to how I react to the idea of letting go of fear of loss becomes similar to the grieving process because it’s who and how I’ve always existed as, thus, participation in any memory / thoughts of growing old and/or grief / sadness of who I used to be is simply because I’ve not yet walked a physical application where I do NOT react when fear of loss and letting go are triggered and / or when thoughts come up within emotions of sadness / grief, therefore, I commit myself to when and as I react in fear of loss and/or fear of letting go in relations to someone or something within my life I stop, I breathe, I apply self-forgiveness in the moment and let go and release, to move myself and Direct myself to Stand within the Decision to let it go.

I commit myself to when and as I see a memory come up – where my mind begs me to remember what so and so did and said, and how wonderful it was in how I believe the memory makes me feel – that this is a red flag for me to know there is more to forgive, thus I commit myself to ask myself what about it do I want to hold onto and what is it about myself within it that I do not want to change – to assist myself to Stand within my Commitment to let go of the fear of loss / the fear of letting go and the feeling of growing old / grief / sadness.

I commit myself to know where I stand with people and things, where I Stop the illusion within my mind of believing that I have to hold onto something or someone and to instead redefine my relationship to it/them according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that anything that can be lost, cannot and is Not real.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to continue to Investigate and Forgive myself for my relationship to things and people within the dimensions of control and fear of loss.

 

Day 206: The Suffering of Others

I’ve never really considered myself as the type of person who gets off on the suffering of others. I was wrong, because as it turns out, I do. It can be something so seemingly unimportant, something as simple as what happened around here recently.

My 2 1/2 year old granddaughter’s dad had went to the store earlier in the day and it wasn’t until just before bedtime that he realized he had forgotten to purchase diapers. We live at least 45 minutes from the nearest store open at that time of the night and he was already tired and had to get up in 6 hours to go to work. There was the temptation in considering that 6 diapers would get her through the next day, but I wasn’t willing to take the chance of her having to wear a dirty one until they got home from work. So I insisted that he go on to the store and quite frankly, I saw the situation as a lack of self-responsibility on their part for forgetting to get diapers in the first place. As he left for the store I saw how I was relishing in the back chat that was existing in my mind in thinking, ‘this’ll teach him’. I mean, he has to get up at 4:30 in the morning to get to work on time and he works really hard all day, so for me to find comfort in him having to go to the store, like some sort of suffering for his negligence, was quite an alarming site to myself existing in/as.

As he closed the door and left for the store, I heard a voice within me that said: ‘Shame on You’!  I sat there and breathed and stopped the energy swirling within me. The energetic reaction, a sort of spite and animosity that reaches far beyond my own comprehension, yet I see, realize and understand that when I accept and allow myself to participate, I am accepting and allowing all suffering within this world to exist.

It begins here within me, within what I accept and allow the inner me to be, and it is my responsibility to investigate who I am as it, forgive it and walk the self-corrective application to stop living as it.

How can suffering end as long as I am living as that which support it?

The shame that I was experiencing was the relationship that I have with fear and guilt and I was reminded of the Creation’s Journey to Life Blog which I had read earlier in the day, because I realized in that moment that I was fearing the shame I experienced myself as. I suggest reading the entire blog titled: Day 311: The Secret to Self-Realisation

Here is a quote from the blog:

“Do Not FEAR Shame. That is what Parents and the System use to Control you. Fear of SHAME. EMBRACE Shame, if you can Find it!

In the Shame you will See WHAT YOU ACCEPT and Allow and How that INFLUENCE and HARM others on a Level of Life – NOT the System. System Shame is to Not Pay your Debts – then you are blacklisted to Force you to Shame. That is Not Real Shame. That is Control, like a Parent Forcing a Child into Submission to Adhere to the System of Slavery. That is Why the Parent will Never teach the Child Real Shame, only the Shame of Slavery.

Real Shame is the Key to FREEDOM, the Key to Silence WITHIN, the KEY to LOVE, the Key to LIFE, the KEY to a New World, the KEY to Forgiveness, the KEY to Self-Honesty, the KEY to Intimacy, the Key to TRUST, the Key to Insight, the Key to the Universe, the KEY to Life.

Those without Real Shame, will attempt to Shame you to SHUT you UP – because they have no Shame. Pity them, because they have Lost Life Forever.” Bernard Poolman

the suffering of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a guilt-fear reaction, fear from the perspective of ‘I’m not suppose to feel this way’, and guilt from the perspective of ‘but I like how it makes me feel so why is it wrong if I am enjoying it’, and shame within the fact of what I’m accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it’s in the smallest details of that which we accept, allow and ignore, that we manifest and create the greatest of life’s atrocites.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the real shame within choosing comfort and rest within myself and my little world while throughout the entire world there is a vast number of those who silently suffer in war, poverty and starvation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into my own enjoyment and to imagine having all the conveniences that modern living with lots of money can bring and within that haven’t considered how in order for me to have all that, there must be those that go without.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach guilt, anger and shame to money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the one design that connects us all is our enslavement to Money in that we willingly let many suffer while a few live in luxary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysefl to be dishonest in my choice to in fear seek only to protect myself, to only be concerned and care about me and my family and my own life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live and give value to life through my own illusionary imaginative mind of self-interest, money / power and greed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I abdicate my self-responsibility through animosity in blaming the perception I have of others as not taking self-responsibility as the reason for how I experience myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project anger and animosity upon others and relish in their mistakes because I fear facing my own experience of/as inferiority/inadequacy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the energy of anger as an excuse for not investigating my resistance to self change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my words and tonality towards others as a way of projecting my own feelings of guilt and shame onto them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the shame in the truth of me as the nature of me as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become as the inner me which is manifested as the outer me as how our world/reality currently exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take self- responsibility for myself in standing up for all as one as equal as me, in living the solution for all as one as equal to stop what I / We have accepted and allowed within ourselves and within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being shamed by others for making the decision to change myself to be the sort of human being that will stand up and support a world/money system that will be supportive of All living beings according to what’s best for all, from birth till death, because I see, realize and understand that the Real Shame is in the accepting and allowing of even one to suffer while another has it all.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself go into a guilt-fear reaction,  fear from the perspective of ‘I’m not suppose to feel this way’, and guilt from the perspective of ‘but I like how it makes me feel so why is it wrong if I am enjoying it’, and shame within the fact of what I’m accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as I stop, I breathe.  I direct myself to investigate what’s really going on within me and to establish myself within self-honesty.

I commit myself to stop this pattern of polarity conflict where I go into shame and guilt to cover up how I’m experiencing myself instead of actually understanding what’s going on within and as me.

I commit myself to continue to investigate my relationship to money to further my understanding of how the decisions I make contribute either to the suffering of others or the well being of others, the choice and responsibility is always here as me.

I commit myself to Stop and Change who I am within accepting and allowing the needless suffering of life due to our corrupt world/money system, to support Equal Money Capitalism, to bring an end to all suffering.

Day 194: Ask and Ye Shall Receive Meant Give to Take

ask and ye shall receive
When I used to refer to myself as a ‘Christian’, my idea of ‘ask and ye shall receive’ was actually one of ‘give to take’. So basically, I’ve never given of myself in any way that I wasn’t first taking from, because I’ve always been looking to replace a negative energy experience of myself within my mind with a positive one, and this, I’ve played out within every aspect of my life. And in doing so, I’ve wrecked havoc upon, within and as my physical body.

I also see that I’ve always reaped what I have sown. Meaning, there have always been a consequence for my actions because my actions have always been on the take – even when I convinced myself within my mind that I was existing within a giving nature, I wasn’t, I was only ever taking because I never gave anything without expecting something in return.

When I gave, whether it was from an emotional need or a feeling I called ‘Love’, it has always been similar to making a cash deposit and expecting to receive interest in return for it. Self has been my only interest and it’s an interest of conditions.

I’ve no real idea what it is to actually give unconditionally much less live unconditionally. My entire life has been preprogrammed energetic conditioning. I’ve loved with conditions. I’ve given with conditions. I’ve learned with conditions. I’ve cried with conditions and I’ve hated with conditions. Therefore, I’ve never known who I am as an expression of ‘giving as one would like to receive’ because I’ve never known what it is to be free from some sort of conditioning, thus, I’ve never known what it is to actually be free.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief myself to be a ‘Christian’, where I beLIEved and lived the meaning of ‘Ask and ye shall receive’ as one of ‘give to take’ – where I always tried to replace a negative energy experience of myself with a positive one because within my mind I’ve constantly feared facing what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become, thus instead of facing myself,  I’ chose to preoccupy, distract and/or entertain myself as my mind and in doing so have wrecked havoc upon, within and as my physical body.

I re-commit myself to investigate and educate myself as to how, why and who I am as my Mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions, to thus, forgive that which I’ve accepted and allowed and begin to walk and support who I am as my Physical Body to be able to support our Physical Reality according to what’s best for All.

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Day 135: Teach Me2

Today I reacted to my 2 year old granddaughter, who actually teaches me more life skills in a 8 hour day than I may ever be able to teach her. Thus the following self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become impatient with my 2 year old granddaughter when she continued to push buttons on my computer / printer and for feeling guilty for her crying as I physically moved her from them, and within that, I forgive myself for not seeing, realizing and understanding how she looks to experience herself in how she sees me experiencing myself, thus, I forgive myself for rushing myself to finish, because in my rush I was participating within my mind which led to feelings of impatience and guilt, which I then projected onto her, instead of being there for her to explore her world with my assistance, therefore, I forgive myself for projecting the feelings / reactions that I was having onto her according to what I was accepting and allowing myself to participate within and exist as, because, I see, realize and understand how my starting point was one of anxiety where I was avoiding facing a point of fear within myself, therefore, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that it is Not possible for another to influence who I am unless I give permission, and any reaction/experience that I may or may not have is a direct reflection of my own inner relationship with myself according to what I am accepting and allowing myself to exist as through and as the direction of my mind, instead of me directing my mind as me according to what’s best for All . Thus, When and as I see myself becoming impatient with my granddaughter/others as myself, I stop. I commit myself to slow myself down and breathe, to look within myself at my starting point to assure that I no longer project onto another anything less than who I am in self-honesty as I continue walking my Journey to Life.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I was hurrying to finish what I was doing , how within that, I, for a split moment, saw how I was giving myself different perceptions of myself whereas I experienced a subtle conversation within my mind which I didn’t stop, thus is how I within that moment, created a problem within my situation where there otherwise wasn’t one, therefore, I commit myself to breathe and realize that within every moment of breath I am the one who decides who I am , thus, through self-corrective application I direct myself to establish effective communication with my granddaughter/others within my world in order to be able to teach life skills – free from anxiety and fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I am rushing, that I manifest pain in the center of my back, which I see is a point of suppression related to self-judgment and, in how I was existing in anxiety and fear of letting other’s down within the ‘feeling’ that ‘I’m not good enough’ and/or strong enough to direct myself within my world, and within that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel disappointed in myself for not being the living example of how and what it is to be supportive and patient with all living beings, thus, I commit myself to be patient and gentle with myself and others as myself, because I see, realize and understand that my responsibility for and as life is determined within every moment of breath as a living example of placing myself in the shoes of another, to thus become stable support for a world according to what’s best for All.

Day 64: Childhood Leg-I-see as Desire: Head of the Class

Today I was reacquainted through the internet with someone from my past that I’ve known since I was seven when I first started elementary school. Triggered within me were memories/ legacies of me as my past that I’ve continued to hand down as walking actions of myself which I’ve maintained since the beginning of me as manifested patterns of self-abuse, within a mindset that I can see I still exist as, hence, the following self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry in/as my legs as I’ve walked the path of/as the illusion of family values, where I’ve carried the weight of my past through/as the DNA of my mother and father and the ideas they existed as and believed in as the beautiful lie they told themselves in order to make it through the daily struggle within the survival system of/as our current world/money system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become a living example of desire crossed in loneliness, where I wanted to be noticed and stand out and I didn’t really care what I had to do in order to achieve the energetic high of existing as the desired experience of/as my mind as being ‘special’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the belief that to be loved is to be accepted and to be accepted is to be loved and within that I’ve sought self-validation and self-acceptance outside myself from others through experiences I’ve manifested of/for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within my secret mind desire to grow up and be ‘better than’ my parents as a way of ‘getting back at them’ for that which I felt they were keeping from me, which within my mind, I believed it was the experience of ‘real love‘ that they were withholding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself within the starting point of desire where from when I first started school, all I wanted was to be ‘head of the class – the ‘special one’, the one that the teacher would see as the Best and ‘the ONE’ in which to follow in the footsteps of, thus, when I saw my teacher’s attention focus on someone else I became suppressed within myself in disappointment, disgust, anger and frustration because I depended upon the positive energetic charge I got when I received attention, because as all children I reLIEd upon and depended on the love and devotion received from immediate family, and, I directed mine towards authority figures within my life, because I sensed myself as void of that within my family, thus, I focused all my desires to/toward my teachers as the substitute fuel to somehow achieve that which I ‘felt’ denied of from my family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize how even now I exist the same toward people I’ve deemed as special, and even as I write this I feel constriction as an inward pressure/pain and tightness within my chest area representing the point of devotion to family, thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect who and how I’ve existed as within a point of FAMe wherein I desired to be INFAMOUSly regarded as the person to favor whether through inside or outside my immediate FAME-I-Lie.

I forgive myself that in my beLIEved manner of self-notoriety, I secretly existed in shame within my secret mind, NOT seeing, realizing and understanding that what I do in my mind has a consequence to everything and everyone within this reality and as such I created an alternate reality inside myself that manifested on the outside within my physical world as a negative experience wherein I was bullied and made fun of by the kids in my class which further perpetuated my already self made mind possession and sent me into an extremely isolated existence of myself.

I forgive myself that I hadn’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand how when I didn’t perceive myself as ‘fitting’ into my immediate family system as becoming the slave of my parents – even though I actually was – and how I in-advertently used what I experienced as a ‘lack of’ attention from my parents and imposed it upon those within my world that I saw as having authority and thus would then seek from them the teaching/knowledge/guidance as a way of seeking self-approval and self-validation as well as seeking to support and please others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a child to be caught within the polarity of good and bad and right and wrong to such a degree that I feared and suppressed any ability to actually express myself free from the opinions I was constantly forming within my mind with regards to who I would be and become according to how I felt I was obligated to act and behave as in ways which would be acceptable and approved according to the rules of my family, society and the world/money/survival system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust my parents unconditionally while inside myself at the same time feeling and directing hate to/towards them – instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that is not my fault nor my parents fault for how I experienced myself because my parents experienced themselves exactly the same as I did because we’ve not yet as a family/society utilized the tools now available through Desteni I Process as being the practical supportive tools for family and life to actually stand up from within the abuse we’ve accepted and allowed from generation to generation as the sins of the fathers – to direct ourselves according to what’s best for All whereby life as we’ve known of/as ourselves will begin to change and we’ll welcome who we are as individual self-expressions.

I commit myself to forgive my way clear to no longer accept myself to separate myself through self-judgment where I create and manifest desires within myself thus manifesting and creating the same within my outer world as this physical reality, which I take self-responsibility for in supporting a world/money system according to what’s best for all.