Tag Archive | crime

299: #TheBriefcase: Is CBS’s ‘The Briefcase’ ‘altruism porn’?

the briefcase

Below is the text to the attached podcast

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Maybe you’ve seen the new reality show called: ‘The Briefcase’. The show begins by presenting 2 different families with a briefcase containing a large sum of money and a potentially life-altering decision: they can keep all of the money for themselves, or give all or part of it to another family in a similar situation as they are. So here‘s this television series that is provoking quite a bit of anger and controversy and even an online petition, is circulating to have the show removed from broadcasting for, exploiting people and their life situations.

The thing about ALL reality tv is that while it seeks to please the viewer, it regularly emphasizes or sensationalizes aspects of a nonsexual subject to stimulate a compulsive interest from the viewing audience. That is the nature of All reality television. So is CBS’s new reality series ‘The Briefcase’ ‘altruism porn‘? Maybe so. And let’s not forget that behind every reality television series is a CEO and / or a celebrity who is making an obscene amount of money off of it.

What’s smart about ‘The Briefcase’ is that it’s striking up conversations about real life situations that need real life solutions. Too bad that reality tv also plays off of the desperation and vulnerability of people’s life situations for ratings or whatever else that might be you know, but the fact remains: People ARE struggling and they Are suffering!

I can relate to feelings of desperation and weakness and vulnerability, as most of us can who have experienced similar situations and emotions, all the while working our ass off trying to survive within a messed up monetary system.

Since being diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago, I stress about money more than ever. It’s part of the mind-set that I’ve been directing myself to change, to stop stressing over the absurd amount of money we’re having to spend so I can get well is challenging, and it takes practice.

Most of us know what happens within our mind when we’re stressing over money, or the lack of. We experience desperation, weakness, and vulnerability, and we tend to become irritable and anxious. So, is it really surprising that people are willing to be exploited on national television if it means they could win, a large sum of money? No! It’s not surprising and honestly, I’d consider being on the show too if given the opportunity. Why?

Well, I wouldn’t really want to, but it’s a point of desperation really, because besides the already obscene amount of money my partner and I spend monthly, on the things I must have, just over a month ago, I came across something that when ingested, it reduces my pain by 85 to 90 %!

This has been an amazing thing for me as a cancer patient to discover. When you can reduce a patient’s physical pain level / symptoms by that much, what that means is, you’ve also just increased their overall daily quality of life. And now, understand how, that my friend, is, Everything.

To suddenly after months and months of chronic pain, to now be almost pain free is amazing, but then the thought comes up: how in the world am I going to be able to continue to afford this wonderful thing that stops my pain with little to no side affects? Going without it means the pain will return, and that scares me.

I am however learning to direct myself to stop and I breathe when that thought and panic comes up within me. I’m learning how to focus on my breath and, take it, a moment at a time, and just get what I can, afford, when I can. The pain itself is not like any pain I’ve ever experienced. At it’s worst, the pain feels like someone just cracked open my upper back / chest wall. That’s the only way to describe it and it’s important to understand why it’s so painful at the moment.

What cancer does is deteriorates / feeds off of one’s muscles, so it’ll take time for the pain to completely go away. Recovery and improving one’s muscle strength is a very sloooow process. So strengthening my upper back muscles will take time and gentleness and it would be great, to have the money to buy what I need to keep me comfortable while, I’m getting well, but realistically, that won’t always be possible.

So it is for selfish reasons, that I don’t see ‘The Briefcase’ as exploiting people any more than our current monetary system already exploits the young and the old and the ill. In fact, every ‘system’ that we have in place, whether it be the healthcare system or the educational system, just to name a few, none of them are “Systems-of-Care”, like they should be, for, “All the People”. Instead what we have are “systems” that offer no real solutions, that, we can say are equally supportive and available for everyone.
At this point in my life my words are pretty much all I have that I am committed to, to use to somehow stand-up for the Cancer Patient because I am one. And I understand how important it is that the cancer patient be given whatever they require to be comfortable and to get well with. And it should be affordable and easily attainable for Everyone!

However, the ‘Reality’ is, within our current money system, many, many, many people are suffering in unimaginable ways. In my own small way I can relate to what it feels like to panic when you need money for treatment and for whatever reason you can’t afford it.

As a cancer patient, you wanna know what’s exploitive and offensive? The fact that we have in place a healthcare system where even when a cancer patient is terminal – meaning they’re expected to die soon — the cancer industry will herd them into yet another screening, another mammogram, another biopsy and more lab tests, all of which do nothing except to generate more profit before the patient dies.

So weighing that information up next to ‘The Briefcase’, my perspective: These types of shows will continue to be on the rise as long as poverty, hunger, war and homelessness exist because these are consequences that have manifested because of the unequal systems of abuse, that we continue to accept and allow to exist within our world.

Is the Briefcase the lesser of the evils to watch as far as ‘entertainment’ goes? Maybe. It’s all in your perspective, but, like it or not, let’s not lose perspective. ‘The Briefcase’ gives us a peak into the struggles of others, and presents an opportunity for us to see what we’re all accepting and allowing our fellow human beings to endure. So now we see, now we know, so what are we going to do to correct it?

Will we realize how the solution that will give us a chance as a Humanity to recover, and together, walk out of the manifested consequences of a failed monetary system, will require us to do, umm, to Give, Give as we’d like to Receive.

Regardless of our opinion about ‘The Briefcase’, the fact remains, people are struggling to make ends meet and the majority of us live paycheck to paycheck. It’s like all we’re doing is trying to survive, instead of discovering, the Joy in Living.

I mean, it’s important to be able to See the Problem, to Bring a Solution, and then to allow the Reward to unfold as it will in ways we’ve never seen before. So let’s be gentle and supportive of Each Other. Let’s seriously consider how and what we’re supporting within this world, like what kind of entertainment do we support? Do we support charities? And with whatever we do support, have we thoroughly investigated the profit margins and the CEO’s salaries for example?

Investigate where you give your words, your voice, your money and your support a way.

Investigate: The Solution. Investigate LIG.

Investigate:  The Proposal

For Context: Outrage Watch: Is CBS’s ‘The Briefcase’ ‘altruism porn’?

Four cancer charities scammed $187 million in donations, much of it intended for kids with cancer

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Day 275: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Cancer to become No. 1 killer in U.S. – Day 39

Video Vlog with Transcription

For Context Read: Cancer to become No. 1 killer in US

If you click on the link that I’ve provided, you’ll see an article released by the American Society of Clinical Oncology (ASCO). It reads that by the year 2030, that Cancer will become the number 1 killer in the United States.

It was interesting to remain aware of my thought process as I was reading the article, because I could see myself wanting to be drawn into what reads like a subtle coaxing for the reader to believe in something that they don’t even fully understand.

And I mean, my thought process with regards to Cancer, and All that having Cancer implies, is not what it used to be, because before being diagnosed with Cancer, I never really had much thought at all about Cancer, because I didn’t think getting Cancer could happen to me. In my life I’ve only known a handful of people with Cancer but even so, Cancer to my mind, was a downer that I just didn’t have time for.

Now here I am, and I have Breast Cancer. And, with almost a year now of researching and educating myself about Cancer, and learning the importance that pancreatic enzymes play in assisting our physical body to digest Cancer, I’m realizing that I’ve become better, at, spotting a snake in the grass, so to speak. Let me explain. In this particular report, it suggests an attempt to recruit us using carefully placed words that seem to direct us to continue supporting our belief in the current accepted treatments for Cancer.

I’m referring to the slash, burn and poison method, which is Insurance approved and the chosen route/option that is provided to the Cancer Patient. But, what about the risk involved in those choices in how destructive the treatment is on the physical body? I mean, it’s quite the gamble that many do not survive. Still, like it or not, this report sets the stage in that, if something doesn’t change, there will Never be a cure found for Cancer because to many are getting rich because of it.

In the report, look at how it highlights a growing need in the cancer care sector, saying that there will be a shortage of nearly 1,500 oncologists in about 10 years. Clifford Hudis, the society’s president said: “Any delay or disruption in cancer treatment can be devastating and stressful. We need to plan and invest to avoid that, pursuing everything from leveraging technology and innovative practice models to using non-physician providers as part of teams providing patient care.”

cancer is big money

So basically, the ASCO continues to ask for public donation and oddly enough, they get it. First let me say that I know that there are many people that donate to the thousands upon thousands of charities/organizations that are out there, and I’m sure many of them are committed to assisting those in need. Having said that, let’s look at Prof. Clifford Hudis, the President of ASCO, who’s also affiliated with the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center.

The Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center (MSK or MSKCC), is a cancer treatment and research institution founded in 1884 as the New York Cancer Hospital. And so, one should read the ‘LECTURE BY G. EDWARD GRIFFIN’ to get a clearer understanding of what we’re dealing with.

So my point of sharing this is to assist in bringing awareness to the fact that there is so much, that we as the general public are not aware of, because quite frankly this is not something you’ll hear about on the six o’clock news. Instead we’re going to have to investigate for ourself, and consider the validity of the current accepted and allowed Institutions that profit from illness and disease.

A wise man once shared, if you want to know what’s really going on within this World, all you have to do, is follow the money trail. And, that’s basically what Mr. Griffin’s research and many more like him have done.

And so while what Mr. Griffin shares may be shocking, it’s not based on opinions or emotions or feelings. He shares what his research showed him, which are well documented facts about how Cancer continues to be the money-making business it is. Don’t be fooled by those who claim that they do what they do because they care because let’s be honest, they do what they do just like the rest of us, because we get paid to do what we do.

Alright so, like it or not, the fact remains that Cancer will more than likely be the number one killer, maybe even before 2030, because in November of 2013 it was reported that 1 out of 4 people are now being diagnosed with Cancer. But even that statistic is up for argument amongst the Medical community because many claim that 1 out of 3 people are being diagnosed with Cancer.

It’s been difficult for me to wrap my mind around the fact that I am now a Cancer statistic and that that’s part of how our current world/money system recognizes me since my diagnosis almost a year ago. And you know almost a week to the day of my diagnosis, just like clockwork I got a phone call from one of the many Cancer Society Charitable Organizations asking me for a donation so they can continue their search for a cure.

Of course, there will be never be a cure at this point because a cure would bring a halt to the kind of lifestyle that having Cancer supports for those that profit from it. And you have to understand, these charities, they offer hope to someone whose just been given their death sentence. They promise the Cancer Patient that their services will provide the ability for them to ultimately experience a fast and easy recovery and for many that may indeed be so. But mostly not.

My experience was that when I was first diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I was introduced to my ‘Cancer Team’, which consisted of a staff of at least 3 people, and I was told that one or more of them would be calling me at least once a week to provide for me any support that I might need. However, my team disappeared quickly when I made the decision to treat my Cancer with alternative treatments instead of the traditional recommended treatment. And almost immediately after that is when I started receiving frequent phone calls from various organizations asking me to make a donation to for their ongoing Cancer Research.

It’s hard to grasp that there are people getting filthy rich off people who have life threatening illness or disease. And, still the facts show that they are, and so unless one is rich, there’s no chance of buying our way out of the mess that we’re in as a society, where Billions of dollars are wasted on Cancer ‘cure’ research alone.

So, it’s important to realize that Cancer is on the rise, and it would be in the best interest of All of us, if we would agree on a Money System that will Guarantee financial support for everyone, regardless of who you are or where you live, you’ll be able to get what you need to live healthy life.

And I’m talking about a real solution, one that will take away the daily stress and fear of survival. Can you Imagine it? A world where everyone would have the opportunity to take responsibility for their own Life, and thus take responsibility for how Life exists on Earth.

The Living Income Guaranteed Proposal is just the solution and one that must be investigated closely because it promises to balance growth with sustainability; ensuring and securing Fundamental Human Rights for everyone. And that makes sense.

Check out ‘The Proposal’, it’s a Start

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“The average physician today has had no training at all in basic nutrition. His wife knows more about nutrition than he does, and I don’t want to get any physicians here angry at me, but most doctors will tell you honestly that this is a fact. They’ll spend hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours working to learn about drugs, their actions, and everything and they are lucky to have even a chance to spend one or two hours studying basic nutrition.
This I submit is no accident and so what we find is that the medical student today, without even suspecting it, and he’d certainly be the last one to admit it, certainly he doesn’t believe it, but without suspecting that he has been carefully programmed by the educational system to be a drug pusher.

You go to your doctor, and I’m going to get some doctors mad at me for sure, but you go to your doctor, and he’ll examine you and if he can cut something out he’ll do that, and if he can set a broken bone he’ll do that. He’ll mend something, but beyond that the only thing he can do is write a prescription. You say, I don’t feel well, he says, take this prescription to your drugstore and if that doesn’t work come back and see me in two weeks and I’ll write you another prescription of different kind, and if that doesn’t work we’ve got a whole list of drugs to prescribe until we find something that works.

That is what has happened, and so the medical profession today has been subverted, I submit, by a force, which they do not even suspect themselves.

Now beyond the medical schools, there is of course, the AMA, the FDA, and Institutions of this kind. It is possible that the cartel has reached into these institutions as well. Consider the AMA, almost half of its income every year is derived not from membership dues, but from the average doctor who knows nothing about what the AMA is doing and is unable to have any voice in it. Half of the income comes from cartel drug firms, in the form of advertising in the “Journal of the American Medical Association”. Ten million dollars a year is funneled into the AMA from drug firms. Plus, ten million dollars of AMA money is invested in stock ownership in these big drug companies. That is what you might call a conflict of interest.” ~ G. EDWARD GRIFFIN Lecture

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Day 274: Holding Life Hostage

Video Vlog with Transcription

For Context Read:  This little boys Story

‘…To me, [it’s] almost a crime to not make it available to everyone who needs it.’ ~ Aimee Hardy, Mother of son who has cancer

The above story in the link that I’ve provided, is painful to read, but there is so much suffering going on within our world that it seems crazy to call attention to only one of the many stories where someone is suffering at the hands of our current money system. However, I can relate to this little boys story because I to have cancer.

So it’s easy, I absolutely agree with the above quote by the mother of the sick little boy… It IS absolutely a Crime, to not make available to everyone the very thing they require to have a chance of surviving. Yet, this is how life is within our current world money system.

crime scene

The entire money system is structured so that those who are rich can buy their way to getting what they want or need, while the poor are judged and ridiculed for being less than deserving. But the truth is, millions are suffering daily, in unimaginable ways, and it’s crazy when you start to realize that Money, is the one thing that could bring the suffering to an abrupt end.

Money is thrown around all the time amongst the rich and famous, and in this particular situation the company whose withholding the requested drug for treatment recently received $72 million in federal funding, but still said they had to dismiss the compassionate use allowance program because they can no longer afford it.

I mean, lol, as Judge Judy says: “Is the word stupid written across my forehead?” She also points out that: “Everyone is equal in the eyes of the law, but that doesn’t mean the law has to treat everyone equally.”

Now Judge Judy Sheindlin, if you’re not familiar with her, is sittin pretty cozy herself. It was recently reported that she’s the highest paid TV star, earning $47 million per year for her television gig ‘Judge Judy’. That means she earns $900,000 a day and, she only works 52 days per year!  How insane is it that some people make this kind of money while the majority struggle daily to make ends meet?

Alright, so moving on. It’s a Fact, there is No law that supports Life itself. No Law that enforces a Principle giving Everyone Equal Rights to be given what they require in order to live. We have to begin somewhere,  so maybe giving everyone a Living Income is the way to begin.  Maybe then we can begin to see clear to outlaw for instance, any refusal to give possible life saving medicine to the child in the above story. It just makes sense that no one person or group or major corporation should be allowed the purchasing power to basically hold the possibility for life hostage. Especially when clearly our entire value system has been contaminated by ego and greed. Sadly, even in realizing how many are suffering, we still have a long way to go to set forth laws that will protect the right of Life, the right to being born on Earth through Giving to all Equally that which is required to live.

Most of us want to believe that people are good and that we ‘love our neighbor’, and, we even preach to ‘give as we’d like to receive’. But the truth is, we live quite the opposite. So Life on Earth is being constantly threatened, and we can see how people are struggling to keep up the act as the happy consumer who blindly supports corporate greed because honestly, buying the groceries/products that continue to support the rich and famous and the greedy, is the only choice that we currently have.

So a big change is required, and after looking into it, I’m satisfied that the Living Income Guaranteed Proposal, is just the solution, and maybe even a gateway of sorts toward changing our current world and our current money system to one that will be sensitive and supportive of life and life threatening situations, to thus make equally available to everyone who need it – such as with this little boy – the ability to receive that which is required for them to live a healthy and long life, because we’d want the same opportunity to be given to us, wouldn’t we?

Let’s Stop holding Life hostage with price tags.

Investigate: The Proposal

The Original Metabolic Medicine’s Cancer Cure

Day 242: How we Survived the Doomsday Paranoia

By the end of November 2007, my partner and I were already months into a journey that had come to cause us great concern, or rather quite the paranoia. I mean, with the way the economy was going, we were both concerned that it was definitely time to purchase the necessary items to assure our survival in the event of what looked like the beginning of the end of the world, or, at the very least the beginning of a plan where we would all be living under the ruling of a Police State or a Dictatorship. Of course, we didn’t really know exactly what we were facing but we knew one thing for sure, we were scared and concerned for our survival. There was so much talk about the Mayan’s and their predictions for the end of the world and then David Icke’s stories about reptilians – this further fueled our already mind-paranoia.

Artwork by: Matti Freeman

the futureFinally, the end of November 2007, we discovered the Desteni video’s on Youtube and then the Desteni website and as we studied the material, we quickly realized their message was clear and made perfect sense. Desteni predicted that there would be no ascension to a 5th dimension, or end of the world according to the Mayan calender, no apocalypse, alien landings or biblical doomsday. The fact is, Desteni saved us a shit load of money because after all, there’s BIG money in doomsday predictions.

The Desteni message remains consistent, accurate and assisted us stop our paranoia and focus on what is real.  Their message  assisted us to ask ourselves ‘what is our individual responsibility’ with what is here?

And, what and how have we come to accept and allow our world to exist as it currently does?  These are not easy questions because to answer them requires self honesty and we soon realized that self honesty meant giving up that which we’d held on so tight to because self interest has been our motivator,  and of course self interest is wound tight in fear.

So, it’s been quite an interesting Journey for us because studying the Desteni material will astound and shock even the bravest amongst us and it’s a Journey that’ll lead one to themself.

So, here we are. We’re still here. All the doomsday predictions have come and gone and all of it was a lie. What isn’t a lie is the hours upon hours of research and documented material that Desteni provides for those who will investigate/hear. What isn’t a lie is the message that Desteni continues to Stand by. Desteni Stands for Oneness & Equality and in that they can be depended upon.

Thank you Desteni

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I engage THOUGHT, it acts like GOD and fear emerges as make believe concepts and ideas I make myself believe till I am scared. Essentially, I create my fear and then am afraid of my own creation – such a powerful being I am – yet it all happens ONLY IN MY HEAD, ALONE and when I can transfer MY FEAR to another HEAD, through talking, or writing, or examples or pictures – it remains IN MY HEAD alone, MY FEAR ONLY.” Bernard Poolman

“I commit myself to show that all Fear in all ways is always Self-Produced in the Mind, and Self-Believed as real – as that ensures that the body will produce the chemical substances of addiction the person has been exposed to since childhood, as the patterns the parent induced to get absolute control over the child so that the child will be occupied to not interfere in the Addictive Occupation of the Adult.” Bernard Poolman 

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  Suggested blogs to follow:

Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Day 190: This Fixes Everything

create change with Equal Money

Art By: JL Kenney

“They’ll wonder why poverty continued so long in human society – how a few people could live in luxury while billions dwelt in misery, deprivation and despair.” ~ Muhammad Yunus

Everyday the cost of living increases, and with that increase, comes an increase in stress.

There is only one reason why there’s a price for living… Greed.

How insane is it that we continue to accept and allow our world/money system to be run by profit and greed…

People are so consumed in their minds, always busy “robbing from Peter to pay Paul”, that it’s no surprise that the daily news reads of a world full of people struggling.  The increase in suicide, crime and/or mass murder/suicide amongst teens and young adults is like something out of a horror movie.

Parents today are emotionally unavailable and clueless when it comes to raising children. And the majority of young parents today, don’t have a clue how to make a home-cooked meal for their children let alone display any practical common sense skills in order to be an example of living as a responsible human being committed to what’s best for All Life.

I really don’t know what’s going to become of the world we’re leaving for the children of our world, but what’s clear is, we are ALL in serious trouble. We’re overworked, stressed out and have basically given up that our world will ever change. We certainly realize that changing ourself in a way that will have a substantial effect on All life here on Earth,  is virtually impossible.

What will we do? What is a Real Solution? A Solution that doesn’t require war… Where can we get help? Is there a place where people will listen to the needs and consider the question of  why is it that there is a minority who are rich while the majority suffer daily living in poverty, fighting wars, fighting debt and fighting each other while fighting to survive?

When will we realize that Equal Money Fixes Everything?

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that democracy as it exists now in the world is not empowering the individual, it is only a permission process to legally give all power to a few people that do not hold the interest of the individual at heart – and if viewed as a picture-representation, it is like a human body where the cells are the individuals that vote and give all power to the mind to do whatever it wants, thus in fact creating a clear dictatorship where only the dictatorship is valued and the celliziens/citizen is ignored, but for their labor and money they provide.” Bernard Poolman

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For Context Read:
Nearly half of families are worried about debts as toxic combination of runaway inflation and low wage growth means they struggle to make ends meet

Families hit after supermarkets hike ‘budget’ food prices by as much as 110% in just a year

Sandy Hook community buries more of its tiny victims

State ‘fails’ thousands of vulnerable children

300,000 will be in fuel poverty by Christmas

Investigate Equal Money

Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life

Join the forum:
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Day 164: Innerspace

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated within myself where within me as my physical body I feel as if I’m experiencing myself as having to push myself through the great barrier reef of suppressed self-judgment and emotions which I have attached a definition of myself to which reads failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when within my mind I hear, ‘suck it up and ignore the pain within yourself’, to not realize that I’m manipulating and justifying who I am so much so that I reach a point of the grandest of self illusions -where I’ve got no clue who and/or what character or personality will show up as me when I stand before friends and family who know me best in how I’ve always pretended to be what I perceive they expect me to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within my mind exist as crooked, dishonest and basically someone who has been full of shit in how I become angry towards my children and my partner, and then have the nerve to wonder why I have pain in and as my physical body which in itself feels crooked with kinks in it, and within that,  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how through the relationships I have with my children and my partner, I have suppressed myself in and as guilt, shame and regret and where I direct myself as such through and as emotions inward unto me as my physical body which causes within me a sense of loss which I then define myself as in fear of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I’m not able to forgive me for the mother I have been in how I raised my children in and as self-interest, fear and greed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when experiencing pain within and as my physical body to participate in the thought, ‘I can’t do this, it’s to painful’.

When and as I see myself go into fear where I tighten up and suppress myself and become characters and personalities that I see, realize and understand compound into and manifest systems within me as my physical body – I stop and I breathe. I commit myself to me as my physical body and this physical reality first and foremost to thus begin to be a living example of life according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to forgiving me for the definition I have lived of myself as,  ‘a mom who failed her children’, and to redefine myself according to me as a mom breathing and walking here with both feet on the ground walking in and as self-honesty.

I commit myself to stop going emotionally bankrupt within and as my mind where I suppress within me raging systems of and consciousness as shame, regret and fear of loss.

I commit myself to forgive myself for the guilt I’ve existed as of not being the mother to my children that gives way to allow their child to express who they may become as life according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to accept the breath of life unto and as all of me as my physical body.

“I commit myself to remind each one that we are all guests on Earth and we have abused the hospitality of Earth and created an Asylum and Hospital out of Earth searching for Feelings of energy in Self-interest. Earth will no longer tolerate the abuse and we as Humanity will now face our final our within which each one must decide who The I will be, Life or Self Interest. There is no one that can deny that deep inside this hour has always been expected.” ~ Bernard Poolman

Day 140: Inside Out

Monday I had an appointment to have some much needed dental work done which I’m still not finished with but I’ve had quite a bit of fear about. Then on Tuesday, I came down sick with a head cold that I’m still not well from and then Wednesday, I became very frustrated with my partner which was actually a point of lack of communication on both our parts…

So, this week has been somewhat of a challenge and what I’ve realized is how destructive ‘inner conflict’ is in that, when I would see myself go into thoughts about going to the dentist, I would become irritated, anxious and very emotional where I felt raw and exposed, almost as if I was turning myself inside out.

It took me a couple of days to realize that I had put up a wall of defense which served as protection, for how I was justifying and defending the very fears I ‘thought’ I was stopping. Thus, here walking self-forgiveness.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear and ‘inner conflict‘ in relation to me having to have dental surgery this week and within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed internal fighting within myself to the point where me and my mind have had conflicting positions in relation to the fear of going to the dentist, which ultimately generated friction within myself which then resulted in energy that lead me to a state of mind in believing how my experience at the dentist would result in/as pain and fear, thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience resistance toward going to the dentist until I internalized the fear into a point of inner conflict which caused me to become physically sick, and how within that, I became argumentative with my partner and expected him to somehow be able to ‘make me feel better’ about myself, therefore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within internal conflict to the point that I became a character of gloom and doom and thus created myself into a state of depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put up a wall of defense and protection as justification – which stops me from being self intimate with me and thus intimate with others as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I suppress inner conflict and frustration within myself, that I then manifest myself in and as guilt, shame, and anger and thus lash out onto others – for example onto my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I have through participating in and as thoughts and backchat of ‘what if’s’ within my mind, have created and manifested illness unto me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to direct myself according to a mood and/or a feeling, instead of realizing that I am here, I breathe and I direct me within the decision to stop participating within and as thoughts, feelings, moods and/or emotions/reactions/energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within my mind in my own comfort zone where I didn’t realize I was dependent upon the sameness of my everyday wants, needs and desires, thus when my day doesn’t go as I ‘hope’, I go into fear, inner conflict, friction, energy and/or moods and depression.


I commit myself to stop internalizing who I am as fear and thus stop abusing me as my physical body.

I commit myself to stop who I am as energy within wants, needs and desires.

I commit myself to stop inner conflicts through stopping backchat and the ‘hope’ of what tomorrow will bring.

I commit myself to stop generating energy from inner conflict to that of outer conflicts within and as my world and to/toward my partner.

I commit myself to show that depression is ego and self-interest.

I commit myself to show that All depression and/or doom and gloom moods can be stopped in one moment of breath.

I commit myself to Re-Defining my Relationship with my Partner through the Relationship Course walking through the Desteni I Process.

I commit myself to show that fear only exists within and as my mind and is only as real as I accept and allow it, thus, I stop me as fear and I Breathe.

I commit myself to realize how Trust is only possible with Self in Self-honesty.