Archive | February 2011

Stop make-belief in the mind – Support Equal Money

I admit that often I feel insecure about how to speak properly with regards to our current money system and the capitalistic realms we find ourselves existing within and as.  So, I’m just going to keep it simple, because it doesn’t really take a fucking rocket scientist to see that we are pretty fucked up for allowing people to suffer and die all over the world.  As I just wrote the words ‘fucked up’, I realise that some will be offended because I chose to use them, yet, will not be offended by the daily massacre accepted and allowed to reign upon the lives of others while we remain quiet and pretend that we don’t see… When was the last time we asked ourselves how is it that we just don’t give a shit about the current state of our world?   I will also admit that I’ve been the worst kind of bullshitter, because I existed as one who wanted you to believe that I cared, when in fact, I wasn’t even really seeing all the atrocity and all the abuse that exists here, because I was to busy in my mind playing make-belief…

 

Maybe I’m a bit angry… But I’m angry at myself for accepting and allowing abuse to continue as I have sat quietly debating with my mind of backchat within and as a mind consciousness system.  Whether we choose to admit it or not – we are pre-designed and pre-programmed to not give a shit.  We are systems and we are being used by consciousness to continue to support the con of our current money system of abuse. It doesn’t really matter whether we believe or like the idea of being a pre-programmed system because the results and the proof of our acceptances and allowances are plain to see within all the abuse that exists on this planet… Stop pretending the secrets of our mind don’t exist. We can stop, we can breathe and we can forgive ourselves as we face ourselves in self-honesty.  Then, we direct ourselves as our mind within the Principle of Equality.  Thus we stop all the bullshit. We get off our asses and stand up for and as an ‘Equal Money System’. Because an ‘Equal Money System’ goes against everything mind consciousness systems live for.  Which is ego, profit and greed, all of which induce fear of survival in order to maintain oneself as such.  An ‘Equal Money System’  will end our hypocrisy and we will see heaven on earth where all life is lived in dignity.

Support Equal Money

Equal Money Website

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed support for a  world of duality of rich and poor in which I have assisted in creating within my mind. I stop my mind as I have participated and I accepting and allowing poverty, starvation, money, power and greed.  I stand in support of an Equal Money System where all life is lived in dignity.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed dishonesty, comparison, jealously, greed and fear within me as the very nature of my being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in dishonesty,comparison, jealously, greed and fear within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that experiencing dishonesty, comparison, jealously, greed and fear is normal instead of realising it is not who I am – but is the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me within and as dishonesty, comparison, jealousy, greed and fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according the backchat within the mind – instead of realising the dishonesty and stopping.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted money, food, water, clothes, housing, education and health care as many within this world suffer without. I stop. I breathe. I stand in support of an ‘Equal Money System’ where All life will be provided for Equally.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the future of our world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that fearing the future only exist within the mind of the mind. I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that if I exist in fear of the future I am not here in the presence of breath within every moment as all as one as equal.

Self-Acceptance

I had some additional mind components to finish today on a mind construct regarding my mom that I’ve been writing out in SRA.  It was then I realised something more which is, as long as I knew my mom, I never really knew her.  I mean, I knew this but it’s just now really sinking in because I’ve never really known myself, because, her and I are one in the same.  People always said that my mom was a classy lady, and I guess by the standards we use and abuse and exist within and as in this reality, it would be true. She gave the standard picture perfect reality lined within the walls of her home. She decorated according to how she wanted others perceptions of her to be, and she took pride in maintaining the front. To know this about her is to know this about myself.  The point here that I have seen within myself is that I have tried desperately to maintain the same sort of image.  Yet when mom died, there was no longer anyone to continue the role playing game with, and so it seemed I had lost a part of myself, when in fact I never even knew myself, so there was never anything to lose. The ideas of feelings of loss that I have held so dear and participated within and as, were all based in self-justifications, ‘ideas’ of my mind, self-limitation, learned behaviors,  and all of which have been self-dishonesty and a lack of self-acceptance.  I won’t say that I’m disappointed with myself, it’s more of a relief in the points I’m realising, forgiving and releasing. I no longer accept and allow myself to give the appearance on the outside as being different/dishonest according to how I am existing on the inside. I stop. I breathe.  I accept and I allow myself to direct myself within and as self-honesty.  I begin here as all as one as Equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sad and/or happy is a real experience of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing another within a pretense that another can fulfill me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the future therefore I utilized greed as a means of protecting myself within and as ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as a game of self-manipulation of ego wherein I acted as if I were high and mighty when really, I thought the whole thing was stupid and unimportant and didn’t really matter compared to all the shit happening all over the world.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be someone I really wasn’t so that my mom would love me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I required myself to be loved by my mom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be overcome by a feeling of wanting and needing the approval of and by my mom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be something on the outside other than how I was really existing on the inside, thus existing in self-dishonesty. I stop. I breathe. When and as I see myself participating in and as such I realise that I have walked this before and I know where it leads and instead – I stand in self-honesty and self-acceptance of me as all as one as equal.

Demonology

I made my first post tonight on the new demonology forum.  I also shared some backchat I’ve had a couple of times recently.  I had resistance to go there and finally I knew I had to. One thing I know for sure is, if there is resistance, then I better get to pushin! So, I did and I can honestly say it’s like part of a weight just fell off me.  I have started a backchat diary as was suggested by Bernard and so I already knew how difficult writing out one’s backchat is. The mind doesn’t like it’s deepest of secret’s to be seen.  I will have more to share.
That Bernard, lol, no kudos required, but, he knows where the hell to lead one, but, it requires one be willing to face self in self-honesty and walk it out breathing in self-forgiveness.  It’s obvious to,  that his talk is his walk…

If you havn’t –
Join:  Demonology – Revealing The Word Of Demons

Hear Both of These Two Videos:

 

 

The moment is what it is

I was watching a movie tonight when I recognized one of the actors in the movie according to his voice. I sat there as I saw my mind wanting to search into itself for a picture to match the sound I was hearing. I refused to search, I stopped.  Why go there. I refused the participation my mind was seeking.  The moment is what it is.   I continued enjoying the movie.   Suddenly, I knew exactly where and what movie I’d seen the actor in some 15 years ago and yeah, he looked different, but he sounds the same.  So what – nothing more is required..It was really an ordinary moment where my mind wanted and needed me to paricipate and again I realised how simple it really is to just stop.   All and everything that I require to know is here as me breathing in this moment.
However, the highlight of my day was a seemingly unnoticed moment of me realising something about the ants that are here. Something that I should have already known which is – the ants here at my house – don’t care for meat…

Breath is your Savior

As I walked home after school with my friends there was much talk about how wonderful it was to be kissed and I felt left out. I was in 6th grade and I had never been kissed. I would sit and imagine what being kissed would feel like and I incorporated the stories my friends told of being kissed into and as my own stories made up within and as my mind.  I participated so much so that I can barely remember the actual physical moment of my first kiss.  The replay over and over in my mind about what it would actually be like caused the actual physical act to be diminished.   The whole time I spent within my mind in anticipation of the moment – I completely fucked up the actual real physical moment to such a degree that I barely remember the actual physical touching of lip to lip.

It was after school, and I was walking home, and I remember the guys name as if it is sketched in my mind as some sort of keepsake, but I can barely remember what he looked like. That’s probably because of all the times I spent in my head imagining what the first guy who kissed me would look like.  We walked home from school the same way and he lived about 4 blocks from my house. On this particular day, we weren’t far from where he lived when he just stopped walking.  As I turned around to ask him why he stopped, he leaned in and kissed me. That was that, then he said, see you tomorrow, and he turned and walked up his drive and disappeared into his house.  After that kiss, him and I barely spoke again and we never walked home again together. I remember thinking that kiss wasn’t worth it, but it didn’t really matter.  I remember my thoughts more than anything because, I couldn’t wait to get home that day to call my friends and tell them that I had just been kissed. The whole moment wasn’t even really about the physical kiss, it was about finding another mind to listen to my mind tell the story of my first kiss. I see now it was only fuel for more stories as me and my friends fed off of each others fantasies.  I’ve used and abused myself and others my whole life the same way over and over by spreading experiences back and forth from mind to mind. We’re just placements here and we follow the plan and examples set before us.  I honestly don’t know how we’ve managed to not completely destroy ourselves yet.   Because we live according to a preplanned destination in accordance to our current money system. We can’t survive without money, and many are not surviving… The only reason we accept and allow the current money system to continue the way it is, is because we’re feeding off pleasantries within and as our mind.  We don’t really give a shit about anyone or anything, and I know this because I have existed as such. It’s taking me awhile to completely comprehend the total damage here, but, it’s massive and global.  Not one of us is immune to the damage we are continuing to accept and allow…

There have been many ‘firsts’ in my life and mostly they’ve all been contrived from ideas placed, approved, accepted and allowed by me as I existed and acted according to who and how I believed I was within and as my mind… There was the first time I thought I was in love, the first time I had sex, or the first time I got married, and/or the first job I ever had. They’re all pretty much the same story as my first kiss was. Except, for when I delivered my first baby, and even my second and third baby.  Clearly that makes sense because, I was in physical pain.  The physical pain assisted me to remain breathing. I remember a nurse when I was delivering my first baby who kept telling me to breathe, saying, ‘breath is your savior’.  She was correct…

I can see how our world has evolved to encompass such atrocity because, while we’re participating within and as our mind, our physical body and our world is adjusting and reflecting according to our participation.  We neglect our physical body to such a degree that our physical body has to give up, and then we die… I honestly don’t see another solution for us and our world except to support an ‘Equal Money System’.   It is definitely the kindest solution to assist humanity, so then we can, at the very least stop our fear of survival, so we can begin to breathe first, and piece ourselves back together in self-honesty and self-forgiveness.  Support Equal Money

 

Equal Money Website

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word relationship.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself form the word love.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require and need another separate from me to fulfill and complete me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in suppressing emotions and feelings means that I am strong and that I have courage.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that in only changing my behavior I am only changing another perception of the mind. I am not behavior. I am the expression of life within and as oneness and equality which I live and express in every moment of me here breathing.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use relationships as an escape from the world to not have to face the world I exist in and experience myself within and as.

 

 

Visual Proof the Holy Spirit does not exist

The title of one of Bella’s video, ‘Visual Proof the Holy Spirit does not exist’ – reminded me of how I once thought I believed in the holy spirit and now I realise that what I really wanted was someone to come and fix a part of me that I wasn’t willing to face. I stood in more than one church with my hands raised and eyes closed in prayer, wanting the ‘holy spirit’ to speak through me so as to provide me with a feeling to keep an idea charged that I had accepted and allowed to be comforting.  I knew plenty of people who spoke in tongues and I envied them for that, and I wondered how come god wouldn’t grant me the same favor. I now realise that the comfort I sought was nothing more than self-denial and greed, and it was all just me participating within and as my mind simply because, I was scared. I was scared to see what was really going on in this world. And, I was scared of facing myself within a world that quite frankly, is ugly. It was easier to look for the beauty within what is here because that provided my mind with entertainment, which provided me an escape from reality in a world that is crashing.  It is just plain selfish to not see the many who are suffering in every moment that they breathe. It’s unacceptable to accept a god and/or a holy spirit to be real according to and as a belief within our mind.  And that’s all it is… I no longer accept and allow beliefs of this to be who I am. To do so is an abdication against ourself here as all as one as equal as life. It doesn’t matter how you work it out within your mind because, it’s just not real.  Who would want to worship a god who would accept and allow all the atrocity that exists here to continue anyway?  It’s easy to see what’s real when one becomes willing in self-honesty to face the aggressions of self.  Self-forgiveness then becomes how one is able to begin to release the nonsense and stand equal and one in support of an Equal Money System – which is the solution that will give all the opportunity to live a life of dignity while supporting self in self-honesty to bring forth heaven on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on an entity of my mind as a tool of self-support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from self control.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be easily manipulated by knowledge and information of the mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be entertained and distracted by my mind – instead of facing myself here in self-honesty.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define self control separate from me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to live and apply self control in every moment.
I forgive myself that I hadn’t  allowed myself to realise that this existence is an example of the mind consciousness system in control of the mind/brain.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to think and believe I am inferior to the mind – instead I stand and direct me here within the principle of equality.
I am my directive principle – not the mind.

Support Equal Money, Support All Life Equally

Thank you Bella for your video

Self-Willed action is relevant only if it’s ‘What’s Best for All in AllWays’ = Self-Honesty

I just finished writing self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements for a mind construct where I had identified points of self manipulation and self victimization just to name a few. I had one left to finish, and decided to vacuum the house first, as I had been sitting for awhile. As I’m pushing the vacuum cleaner back and forth – I realised a point of self-dishonesty. The act of physically and willfully moving myself within and as my reality must be in accordance to questions I ask myself. Questions like, will my movement of self-willed action be according to and as ‘what’s best for all in all ways’?  Now, obviously common sense is required because, vacuuming my house benefits all who walk and coexist here with me. However, my most recent video, where I’m singing – was not a self-willed self-honest action. I knew this immediately this morning, but still was not clear within myself.  No wonder it’s called morning (mourning), because before when I’ve faced similar points, where the mind approved of an action of myself the day before – then come morning, used it against me. Regret, shame and guilt, is always a sign of participating within and as dishonesty.

This is how that video came to be. I was sitting at my computer singing the song ‘Imagine’, when I heard Randy walk in the back door. I then froze up and stopped singing. I saw the point of fear and decided to face it by singing and uploading a video, thus pushing through the point of fear. I now realise that the very act of me doing so actually created for myself a time-loop of self manipulation and self victimization because, my actual starting point of making the video was while participating within and as the actual fear… And, I now recall a faint thought of my secret mind suggesting that I make the video, as well as a slight energetic positive feeling charge which is a clear indicator…twisted motherfucker…

I’m not implying that making a video to assist self isn’t or wouldn’t be effective, every decision must always be an individual decision in self-honesty.  However, for me, in the moment of making the decision to make the video, I was actually accepting and allowing dishonesty.

I acted in accordance to,  let’s say ‘false labor’. Because when we’re pushing ourselves through within self-corrective statements, applying ourselves, actually walking a birthing process of ourselves within and as the physical – it requires self-breathing – no thought participation.  Becoming self-directive principle, and actually moving ourselves within and as ‘what’s best for all in all ways’ always begins first with self in self-honesty.  Here now, I see clearly, where, when and how I accepted and allowed dishonesty, and so the video is/was irrelevant.  I will leave the video as a clear flag point for myself to stop further participation and to remain standing within and as all as one as equal.  It may also be effective for me to push the vacuum before I make further videos as self-assistance.

When and if I see myself experiencing myself within an energy pattern coming from self-manipulation within using a situation or an event or an act of self simulation within the mind to distract me within an energetic charge and/or feeling to somehow gain attention and/or seek recognition and/or to seek validation and/or to seek pity from others  within a role of self-victimization within which I manipulate myself and others in order to gain validation as a way of self-manipulation – which keeps  me from taking self-responsibility for myself here within and as breath as the physical – I Stop.  I Breathe, and I do Not participate.

Instead I direct me here as breath within realising that I have experienced myself within this pattern playing out from beginning to end and I am placing this is as a flag point for self to see self in accepting and allowing self-manipulation  and self victimization of a mind resonant pattern playing out within self justification and has no relevance as life here as me as the directive principle of self within and as self honesty within the Equality Equation of what is best for all in all ways. I stand in support of an ‘Equal Money System’ and ‘World Equality’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become victimized by my own self manipulation techniques.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief a lifelong victimization role.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself through participation within thoughts of being more than another, I accepted and allowed myself to continue within a mind pattern of self abuse and self victimization.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act out according to the secret mind thoughts of and as ego.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed and created myself a time-loop – instead of standing in self-forgiveness and self-honesty as all as one as equal.

Support Equal Money

Equal Money Website

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