Archive | April 2011

Desteni I Process: Birth Your Self-Honesty

I spent most of my life believing that most people are honest. Then my experience with others proved my belief wrong, so then, I trusted no one.  I found myself at a point of depression asking the question, is there honesty in anyone’s word?  Sometimes people think honesty is ‘the telling of the truth’, but that’s not completely true. Because even if it includes telling the truth, it’s really more than that because we rely on our idea’s and definitions in which we’ve been given and then have accepted and allowed ourselves to become, according to our culture in how, when and where we were born and raised.  

People say the word honesty implies ‘to be a good person’, but I have personally witnessed that which appears as good on the surface to be creating the worst of evils.  All of which are merely points of our self accepted nature as we exist in polarity.  Clearly we can see that the word ‘honesty’, is a signature statement belonging to the current money system of our world, where we exist of and as CONsciousness – it’s time to stop, because, we’re malfunctioning. 

I’m finally proving for myself, that I can only trust myself in Self-Honesty and how could I trust another when I was never trustworthy of all life. In self-honesty I can stand up in self-responsibility for how I have existed. Self-Honesty means that I must ask myself how, why and what am I defining myself as according to the words I speak and exist as through the physical actions of who I am in every moment of breath.  Am I asking questions of my world that are according to what’s best for me, or what’s best for all? Am I moving myself in and as a self-directive principle according to the Equality Equation of all living beings here?

We all exist as Mind Consciousness Systems, and we have twisted ourselves in and as ego and self-interest.  As such, we’ve defined ourselves according to definitions which are memories of and as experiences we’ve held onto as thoughts, emotions and feeling = participating within and as the direction according to our mind.  Thus, we cannot be trusted with life, because our starting point began in self-interest/dishonesty and end in time.

Self-Honesty accepts nothing less than what is Best For All = ‘The Principle of Equality’.  All else is irrelevant.  As we follow the Equality Equation of and as   All as One as Equal = Self-Honesty is who we will become and where Self-trust exists.  I have tested this for myself applying the tools offered through the        ‘Desteni I Process’.  I stopped taking 12 highly addicting prescription  medicines that I had been taking daily for 10 years, as well as nicotine and weed addiction, impulsive gambling addiction and for the first time in years,   all depression is stopped! It was simple, I made the decision, I applied the tools, and I am still assisting myself daily with ‘Desteni I Process’. 

As an added bonus, with ‘Desteni I Process’ I am able to earn an income to provide for myself while I’m assisting myself!

You can do the same!  Make the Decision – Desteni I Process:  Birth Your Self-Honesty

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Willful Slaves Stop–Unite With Equal Money

If you require words of someone famous to convince you of the trouble our world is in with regards to our current monetary system. Then please, read and understand them.  There have been many throughout history who have quoted facts, but none with real solutions.  The last quote by Bernard Poolman ,and the video attached provide a real solution for all.  Educate yourself, if you will, because you will discover for yourself how deep the corruption is within our current money system, and you will be shocked when you realize what we’ve all accepted and allowed. 

Stopping our ego and greed will end our own slavery.  Imagine that for real.  Will you investigate Equal Money, and Stand Up with Us as One Vote for an Equal Money System?  Will you cast aside your ego and greed and stand with the many and bring about the end to our current money system?  Will you assist in bringing an end to our/your own slavery? 

“I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. Already they have raised up a moneyed aristocracy that has set the Governments at defiance. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people to whom it properly belongs.”
– Thomas Jefferson (1743 – 1826)

“We have stricken the (slave) shackles from four million human beings and brought all laborers to a common level not so much by the elevation of former slaves as by practically reducing the whole working population, white and black, to a condition of serfdom. While boasting of our noble deeds, we are careful to conceal the ugly fact that by an iniquitous money system we have nationalized a system of oppression which, though more refined, is not less cruel than the old system of chattel slavery.”
– Horace Greeley – (1811-1872)

“It is well enough that people of the nations do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning.”
– Henry Ford (1863 – 1947)

"There will be tough changes for the wealthy and the rich because you never considered those that suffered while you were in a better position. Fortunately there’s no revenge. You’ll be in an Equal position as best for all, but you will not be in a better position. Investigate Equal Money. Make sure you don’t jump to conclusions and that you understand what we are really saying and what we are implying. There is no point to accumulate money that is based on debt – because all debt will end with an Equal Money System." – Bernard Poolman

No Wealth Re Distribution with Equal Money

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Don’t Ever Doubt – The ‘Desteni I Process’

I just completed the mind construct with regards to my ex-husband, who I was married to for 8 years. Through the ‘Desteni I Process/SRA2’, the lessons and tools they provide is how I’ve been able to walk the pattern/construct through and release it. I always referred to the marriage as that of mental and physical abuse. However, I now understand how I and I alone projected and created myself into the marriage and I am completely responsible for how I experienced myself.

As I was writing the memories and the time line of the mind construct this past month – It was imperative that I remain breathing because I noticed specifically how the pattern within the construct was attempting to manifest here as me within the physical. It was very interesting to say the least, because I began to bite my fingernails. So I had to be able to stop myself and breathe and it was interesting because the only time in my life that I have ever bitten my nails was during this particular relationship. A specific memory that I was writing was when I began to notice myself wanting to bite my nails and it was the memory at the beginning of our eight year marriage which was the exact point where I began to bite my nails. Let me explain further.

The pattern began within a mind construct formed when I was a child with regards to my step-dad, (which was the previous mind construct I just finished)  how I blamed and manipulated him by believing him as abusive toward me when that was not the case.  As a child I created the perception of love/hate within situations where I experienced inner conflicts of emotional/feelings of turmoil.  ‘Love’ being defined by me as, ‘those who loved me and cared and supported me would do so through physical hugs etc’.  When I didn’t receive that they way I thought/believed I should, then I would experience inner turmoil where I would then act out by crying/isolating myself,  and/or misbehaving, and subsequently, I would then get into trouble by receiving physical spankings from my step dad. Which I then defined and associated within an idea that ‘love’ will hurt and abuse me.

I then began to experience myself as the ‘victim’. Powerless towards authoritative figures, in which I defined as someone who will demand something from me, and if I don’t give in, then they will hurt and abuse me. The relationship that I had with my ex-husband was merely me playing out the pattern which was charging/maintaining and keeping me locked into an already designed mind construct. Why?  Because, I had established a point, that my step-dad had authority over me and I gave my power away to the emotional turmoil that would come forth from within me. Then as that perception manifested of me being powerless towards him, I created the belief that he abused me. Thus experiencing myself as the victim, I confirmed this point of self-victimization within myself by running off crying which manifested further as I created more fear within myself where I then created a belief that I was being abused by him. Which for me represented a point of authority and me experiencing myself as powerless, and my step dad as being the authority that I was powerless to.  lol – It took me a bit to be able to write that out where it made sense in words to me!

I continued this pattern further with my relationship with my ex-husband and I compounded further points of self-victimization. Because instead of running away crying as I did when I was a child, I would instead suppress myself further in fear of showing my tears in front of him and withdrew further into myself, where I then began to bite my finger nails, which I had never done before. This point was a protection-mechanism and was the basis of me forming the habit of biting my nails. And the whole point of the self-victimization pattern continued to charge itself as I continued to participate as it. All of which was me manipulating myself within the fear of being alone because I feared that I could not provide for myself. Another example also of how an Equal Money System would assist people – because with Equal Money, people will be able to move out and take care of themselves and not further compound the already existing mind construct, but instead begin to face themselves in self-honesty. Free from the fear of surviving!

If you’re reading this and you’re not familiar with the Desteni I Process – then you’re going to want to get familiar, because it is amazing how I’ve been able to locate the pattern within a mind construct in which I created, where I have existed and walked as, in self-victimization, self-manipulation, self-belief and self-judgment, where I have been stuck in and as, for my WHOLE life. I can now walk the self-corrective application in self-honesty and self-trust. Never will I accept and allow the pattern to be who I am ever again!  What a release…Ok, I’m still writing self-forgiveness on this point and will share here soon.

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flying ant

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Live Like You Were Dying: ‘Desteni I Process’

I walked into the small local store to get me a soda and I overheard the familiar woman behind the counter saying to someone on the telephone how she was barely able to speak about it.  Her voice was one of drudgery and despair. As I sat my soda on the counter in front of her to pay, she quickly told the person on the phone she had to hang up to wait on a customer.  When she turned and faced me, I saw her eyes were swollen red from crying and she looked as if she had just been talking to death.  I was 8, and reflecting back, I would describe her overall physical expression was that of subordination.

I stared intensely into her eyes wondering what was wrong with her when in walked an older man who had the same physical expression as the woman.  He practically yelled, as he asked her if she had heard what happened to Sean, and she immediately burst into tears.  When I heard the name Sean my mind began to race.  My heart beat increased and I could barely breathe.  Were they talking about the Sean that I knew?  I stood in silence lost in my mind of thoughts and fear swelled in my throat as I began to feel as if I had just shrunken quietly into a darkened dungeon of terror.

I knew a kid named Sean who I sat and talked with a couple of times every week when I came into the store. In passing, we would laugh about simple stuff and I really liked how funny he was.  He was 11, he told stories about how his granddad let him earn a little money of his own using his tractor mower and how proud his granddad was of him that he wasn’t afraid to ‘earn his keep’.  In a matter of moments,  as they continued to talk, it was evident that it was the Sean that I knew. The older man said, how he just couldn’t understand how Sean had fallen off the seat of that old tractor and became pinned under it while it was moving and subsequently, Sean’s chest was crushed. He was found dead in the pasture hours later when he was noticed as being late arriving home. It was then that I ran out of the store and continued to run down the road toward my house.

Finally, I just stopped.  I stopped running. I breathed. I stood there and looked at how I was shaking from within my physical body. I was sobbing. I was scared. My mind was racing so fast in fear that I was dizzy. But, my thoughts were not about Sean.  They were about me, fearing the death of me!  How would I die?  When would I die? I couldn’t hardly breathe!  I started walking slowly toward home and my physical body was heavy. Then I realized something, I had become as the woman and the man in the store.  I became drudgery and despair.  I was in willful subordination against my physical body and life itself.  I became swelled in and as death as I accepted it unto my physical body as me.

I didn’t understand then the destructive nature of my fears as I participated in the thoughts that were charging in on me as feelings and emotions of energy – where a self-dependency of domination was thriving to keep me locked within a system of submissiveness. One of self-destruction which accumulates in and as damaging affects at a cellular level within and as and against my physical body.  And once I was lost in the accepted pattern of fear, I didn’t even consider Sean, or anyone else for that matter. I didn’t consider what would have been best for all.  I didn’t consider what may have prevented his suffering and that of all who suffer. Considering all, is not possible in fear according to the direction of our mind.

How is it,  that an 11 years old boy loses his life attempting to ‘earn his keep’ within our corrupt money system? I never once heard anyone ask that question.  And it’s a question worth answering because the answer is one that we accept and allow that keeps us all bound here unto and as death.

Where we’re only affected by loss of life for a moment until fear and death becomes us, and then we don’t give a damn about anyone else. 
Sean was so proud of earning money to assist his granddad, and he strived for the attention he received for doing so, and it cost him his life.  Maybe Sean would still be alive today if we had had an Equal Money System that provided for all Life – from Birth ’til Death…

This is another example of why I am grateful for ‘Desteni I Process’. 
The lessons and tools: assist me to identify, deconstruct, forgive and
release the mind constructs which I’ve created and have existed as within self-limitation, self-deception, and lack of self-direction, all of which lock me into and as a Mind Consciousness System.

It’s simple: ‘Desteni I Process’, if applied effectively, will assist in saving lives as it will assist humanity to each one become Self-Directed, Self-Willed, Self-Responsible, Self-Honest and Stable. Standing according to and as The Principle of Equality in support of all living beings.

Live Like You Were Dying – Cause we are…


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Consider what is best for all and everyone here as you as we first forgive ourself to see there was never anyone else to forgive.


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Obama orders drone strikes in Libya


The ‘unmanned’ Drones have the ability to hone in on targets using powerful night-vision cameras.  And – It’s official, just now in, according to many sources. The White House has now approved the use of the missile-armed Predator drones to help Nato target Colonel Qaddafi’s forces in Libya.  Coalition commanders have been privately urging the Americans to provide the specialist unmanned aircraft, which have become a favored – if controversial – weapon in Afghanistan and Pakistan. The drones are based in the region but typically flown via remote control by pilots in the US. 

I admit that I’m not up to date on the newest version of weaponry , but upon hearing about the recent decision to, ‘bring in the drones’, I had a few questions.  For starters – How much did these things cost to build, and how many are there?

There are currently, 360, sitting ready as a means to kill ~ Each Unit cost was: $4.5 million each!!   Is there No shred of Common Sense that can be seen by us? This is not fair killing any way you look at it!  But then, is any killing of another living being,  fair?  Who do we think we are, and what really gives us the right to kill?   MONEY!  That is the ONLY reason for the kill – follow the money, you’ll see.   Call it anything you want folks, but it is time to understand one fact – We kill for MONEY – Money is God!

The Proof is here to see, because in our world, we prefer to spend money on death machines, than to feed those who are starving to death and living moment to moment, every breath they breathe, in extreme poverty

We may as well go put a mask on, shoot our next door neighbor in the foot, steal his money, and run, because he won’t be able to catch us.  Why not? Oh, that’s right, it’s against the law…  But – DRONE killing isn’t?

You can assist right now in Stopping the insanity that is being accepted and allowed – And don’t think you’re not responsible for the mess that is here, because we all are.  You can Stand Up right now and support an ‘Equal Money System’ –  Move yourself within ‘The Principle of Equality’  

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Be One Vote for an Equal Money System.

When Equal Money is implemented – this shit, will be Stopped!


Obama OKs Use of Armed Drone Aircraft in Libya

Obama orders drone strikes in Libya

Releasing addictions of an ex-husband – With ‘Desteni I Process’

I have just spent the past few evenings alone with my ex-husband, and I survived. lol – I will be continuing soon as I’m only taking a short break to stretch and blog.  It’s been of great value for me to face the hidden fears that I have walked as in this life. The timeline of memories and the mind construct I am walking through the tools of the ‘Desteni I Process’ is showing me the justified points of fear of loss that I have existed as.  I was so consumed in self interest, and I never once, in all the moments I existed in fear, considered what was truly best for all.

When you’re in a mentally and physically abusive relationship, you cannot really see how absorbed you are in self pity, shame and blame.  My thoughts back then, almost 22 years ago, were those of habitual fears of surviving.  And, as mind consciousness systems, we have never honestly ever avoided mental and physical self abuse and self sabotage. It’s really messed up because, when you add the stress of trying to survive within our current money system to the equation – we have ourselves ‘the family construct’.  Designed and manipulated according to our participation within and as our mind patterns of thoughts and emotional and feeling elements of bliss within our backchat, all of which we believe is something real and beautiful – until the energy stops. And the energy of our experiences always stop. Have you noticed?  

Crazy shit the mind… It’s really very primitive, because the mind only works in polarities of fear and survival, and of course, love.  And, the mind is not even physical, so our experiences are all created in our head which we then use to create our own projected and manifested illusions – where we then act accordingly and then, we wonder what the hell is wrong with us… Solve the puzzle of your mind mess. 

Join ‘Desteni I Process’.  Walk the journey of healing self. You are even able to earn an honest income so you can ease the stress of barely surviving in our current monetary system while you’re applying the tools for self.  Amazing opportunity.

Sign up Now for Desteni I Process – We’re Here


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become swallowed up in energetic desires of lust and love to such a point that I remained self abusive in my attempt to hang on to a relationship I perceived as real and everlasting.  I stop. I breathe. I direct me here according to the principle of equality where abuse stops and breath begins.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that someone can ‘make’ me ‘feel’ special where I became intoxicated and was a danger to myself and others as I sought only the energy of an experience of me as I existed in selfishness.  Instead I realize that what I perceived to be real was only my mind directing my, instead of me directing me in self-honesty according to what is best for all.  Till here no further

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a game piece where I allowed my mind to move me according to false pretensions of what I perceived another expected from me.  I stop. I breathe. I stand and face me in self-honesty and realize that I have walked this pattern of me before and I know the results and so the pattern ends here as I direct me, as all as one as Equal.

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Woman Kills Pregnant 21 Yr Old She Met On Facebook, Cuts Baby From Her Uterus

bloodApril 18, 2011, Oakland, Kentucky–A pregnant 21 year old was murdered and her baby cut from her uterus by a woman she met on Facebook. This shocking brutal crime unfolded when Jamie Stice was befriended by 33 year old Kathy Michelle Coy on the social network facebook.  According to news reports, Coy pretended to be pregnant too and told Stice that she could get her baby clothes–claiming she worked at an agency that helped pregnant women in need.

Coy also allegedly sent Stice ultra sound pictures she had stolen to make Stice believe her fabricated pregnancy story. The two women then struck up a budding friendship.  On Wednesday police arrested Coy when Bowling Green hospital personnel contacted them about their suspicions regarding her newborn.  Coy then revealed to police where she had buried the young woman and investigators found the body in the woods of Oakland. Stice was reportedly stabbed multiple times.  The baby, who wasn’t due until May 24th, is said to be doing well but is still in the hospital.  Details were also released that Coy had stolen ultra sound pictures since October of last year so she was planning this for a long time and found Stice while looking for a target.

There is an obvious point here in this case which is that Coy claimed she worked at an agency that helped pregnant women in need.  If our current monetary system supported ‘All Life Equally’ – people would not be so inclined to accept offers from people with obvious mind possessions.  Money is the root cause for the insanity within our world, make no mistake about it.  Yet, our focus looks elsewhere, and in our attempt to understand, we’re overlooking the facts and common sense which are that people are suffering and becoming desperate for money and assistance.

In our world, no one should be without means to support themselves.  However in our messed up Capitalist society, millions are suffering, starving to death, murdered, and the ‘culprit’, our ‘current money system’, is not even acknowledged as so.   Let’s Stop.

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A thorn in me forgiven – By way of ‘Desteni I Process’

roseThe word ‘authority’, for me sounds like, ‘a thorn in me’.  My perceptions of those in authority has been one of inferiority where I would hide within myself in the attitude of not giving a shit, when really what I was doing was projecting superiority.  The current mind construct I’m writing in SRA2 through the ‘Desteni I Process’, has assisted me to see how I existed and compounded myself in ego as I reacted toward those of authority.  The particular mind construct is that of my ex-husband, and one in which I always referred to as mentally and physically abusive.

I began to see this pattern forming when I did my second mind construct which was my father.  It’s rather humbling and also very interesting and assisting as I’m seeing how I accepted and allowed the direction of my mind to cast authority upon all the men I’ve had relationships with.  Where I gave myself away to any man I was with. I became who they wanted me to be and I submitted myself to acts that I wouldn’t have before considered – all because I believed that I couldn’t be alone and that I couldn’t provide for myself because I didn’t have enough money to ‘make it’ on my own.  If we had an Equal Money System that provided for all it would have eliminated my fear of survival, which would have assisted me to assist myself.

Who would We as Women become, as daughters, mothers, sisters and aunts, grandmothers and World Leaders, if we were first able to care for ourselves properly?  Our whole experience of ourselves would completely change if we didn’t fear for our very survival.  We as women, we can, and we will someday, Stand up and Support a system where Equal Money paves our way.  We have the ability to enforce Equality upon every single man that exists in this world.   We just have to come together as women, join hearts and hands and agree together.  Because the ‘authority’, we know we have it,  it’s between our legs.  In self-honesty – you know it’s true. Cut em off – ‘til  they become 1 Vote for Equal Money and World Equality.  The morning newspaper will read:  Women Join Together & Bring Equality to the World

We become so frustrated trying to survive within our current money system that we lose ourselves further and further into and as the direction of our mind where we exist in fear. I would become so angry at myself, not realizing that I was compounding myself as ego through superiority.  I didn’t realize that I was really existing as inferior and I would silence myself in fear as I continued to accept and allow myself to participate in self-abusive behavioral patterns.  I further fueled my accepted mind construct until I became the same way towards all authority.  Then I withdrew and became even more angry at myself and began to justify and blame the whole freakin world for how I experienced myself, until I became ‘a thorn in me’.  I avoided any sort of self-responsibility for myself and for how this world exists as I abdicated myself hidden in helplessness.  Which kept me enslaved as consciousness.  Fooling myself as I depended on another’s direction over my own common sense and I became a slave and a follower according to the direction of my mind.

It’s fascinating – seeing and forgiving the patterns that I have allowed myself to remain as according to a self abusive pattern of my mind. One in which I project as who I am, that doesn’t even exist as real in this moment here.  I’m beginning to understand how a rose, that we perceive is so beautiful yet is also very painful to the physical touch in the thorns they bare is a representation for us women to see our own self-deceptions in how, who and what we have become and accepted as who we are within and as humanity.

The act that I have lived as me, is coming to an end.  Join me, breathing in self-honesty, forgiving and releasing thorns of me – as I apply the tools offered through the ‘Desteni I Process’, I’m beginning me in integrity.  You can to, and, We as women, We can all Stand together as All as One as Equal.     

Back to my lesson…

*Will share Self-forgiveness upon completion of my current lesson.

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The Movie: Casino Jack = Moving picture shows: Our Legacy

We watched a movie the other night called ‘Casino Jack’, and, for a moment-   I bestowed upon myself, so to speak, where almost immediately, my physical body granted me symptoms of aches and fever and a, a quenching of myself.  Still am a bit in fever, though – prefer fever – no fear.
The movie assisted me to see how helplessly I’ve acted as the effect of what I’ve caused and where I tell myself that I’m unable to properly examine the facts and present them for anyone to understand.  Where I’ve remained within my own delusional causes and effects which impacts me further into myself, where I didn’t and/or wouldn’t allow myself to understand my acting part as and within the current money system even as I’ve existed as it.

The moves and cons of one mans mind as he was walking as it, controlling legislative decisions and passing bills/money through the hands of congress and their pockets – how the bribes/causes passed, effects the lives of us all  – I suddenly saw myself in him in that everything I ‘thought’ I didn’t know – I suddenly knew, that I know, as do we all. We all really know what  we’re accepting and allowing and denying ourselves to see.

Even in my knowing, I denied it to myself because, I was scared to death to make a sound as me.  Sounds simple enough, but not so easy to say in words here.  Because the game I’ve played as life, has been the biggest of all cons – and as I played along time, I denied myself as life and so, life has denied me.  Everything here is me, everything here is you, and we are the causes and we are the effects.  What is here – This is our legacy = Fraud = We stand hand in hand as this…

Our legacy lies in and as our current money system. We know how to set us free, which is to set all free.  We Stand and Stop.  We Breathe, we support an Equal Money System.  The act in which we allow us as life here to begin  – releasing causes and effects of fear. 

Giving us all the act of endowment -  so we can see ourselves as who we really are, as All as One as Equal. 

Stop waiting for yourself. 

Accept and Allow Yourself to Support Equal Money
Equal Money Website


The following links provided are regarding the movie ‘Casino Jack’

Suggest watching the full movie as well


Every single part of my physical body currently is in ache
yet, I am oddly at peace inside as
fever is reminding me to breathe and
as I swallow a drink of water it’s like I can literally feel it flowing through my veins and
I’m sure I’ve never been as accepting of myself as I am in this moment
rather odd to write – it’s like I’m standing inside myself seeing me trusting me
I use to call this illness and/or sickness, yet, here in this moment I see that I was mistaken
as my physical body is communicating with assistance
I see fear dying
I am strangely still, quietly welcomingin fever and ache
documenting myself here in writing
this moment of me
no shame – no fear
Breathing in a new meaning of me, welcoming