Day 43: ‘Don’t Pretend You Know Me’

Here forgiving five words of a sentence that I’ve used as a weapon to/towards others through the fear of facing what I actually knew about myself, but feared facing the details of as my mind and what that exist of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend that I know who I am within the fear of my own self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the very nature of who I’ve existed as to be lived in pretending.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sentence myself and others to a corrupt world/money system through pretending to support and care about life, when in fact, everything that exists within our world has been a revolving lie around money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the deception in pretending that there is no need for change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive others because I’ve been willing to deceive myself through pretending.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words, ‘don’t pretend you know me’ as a weapon against others similar to holding up a shield and a sword and going into battle, only suddenly realizing what you’ve deliberately hidden from yourself in that the only real battle field exists only within one’s own mind.

I forgive myself for accepting myself as a child to allow myself to practice pretending until I manifested myself as a living definition within a state of pre=tense which became a life long practice/pattern of who/what/when and how I’ve existed as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be incapable of responding in self-honesty to/towards and within my relationships because I’ve allowed me as ego/character to stand in as me as I pretended to be someone/something where the behaviours of myself were within a belief system that fit in with societies expectation system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the words ‘don’t pretend you know me’ as a Weap-on of excuse to blame others for how I experienced myself instead of facing the guilt I felt about how I treated them as I walked the path of self-righteousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy saying the words, ‘don’t pretend you know me’, which was actually in-SINcere behaviour intended to give others an appearance of myself as having a greater importance in life than them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be what others wanted me to be by manipulating them through words to boost their ego as I secretly expected them to create a similar experience for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie, cheat, steal and bargain with others using money as a means of maintaining the pretending/feeling of importance within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be the friend I thought was required in order to maintain a relationship when in reality, it’s not possible for anyone to actually know me because I’ve never actually known who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use and abuse words living them in self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the me I pretended to be was an act of self-dishonesty in an attempt to receive validation for me as ego.

Artwork By Adam Closs

I commit myself to stop hiding and pretending and accepting anything less than who I really am in self-honesty.

I commit myself to embracing me in self-honesty and taking full responsibility for what is here existing as our world manifested as who we as a humanity have existed as within, and thus, I commit myself to supporting and creating a world/money system which values life according to what’s best for all where life is expressed free from pretending.

Must Read Blogs!

EARTH’S JOURNEY TO LIFE – Day 12: Redefining Words (Part 9) – Self Forgiveness statements on redefining words

HEAVEN’S JOURNEY TO LIFE – The Soul of Fear: Day 35

CREATION’S JOURNEY TO LIFE – Day 46: TRUST ME!

Day 42: Snake bite: a symptom in the nature of our survival

Today our dog Bella got bit on her snout by a copperhead snake that was in our back yard. The snake wasn’t very big and was only defending itself, but Bella’s snout swelled up like a balloon. After a 15 minute visit to the vet, a shot of antibiotics, a shot of prednisone, and 50 dollars later, the swelling is down and she’s going to be fine. What this day has proved to me once again is that the nature of everything here is about surviving within our world/money system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted what the nature of the animals within this world are showing us as the nature of the human in how the human takes instead of gives.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a system of money that supports itself based upon the helplessness of injured animals in order for it to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a system that only cares for each other in sickness if one has money to pay for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts, feelings and emotions as a weapon to survive within our world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek power over another within the purpose to fulfill the nature within me of/as greed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a system that breeds greed as the nature of who/ what the human has become as a mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for my future, where I utilized greed as a means of protecting myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use ego to fight to be right and thus fighting for my own limitation.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that the very fears I fear manifest as actual experiences – not only in my own world but as all of humanity/nature and the animal kingdom as one together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a system that controls people through debt and misery satisfying people’s desires only enough to support their beliefs that there is no other choice but to submit to a system of abuse through the control of human behaviour through our current money system.

I commit myself to supporting a system where the nature of life is one of giving and unconditional support for all living beings.

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application to support a system of equality to change the nature of the human to one which is supportive of a world according to what’s best for all – where fear of survival end.

I commit myself to the power within myself in self-honesty to choose to make a new expression of who I really am through re-defining myself in support of a system of equality where the only choice made within our world is according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to supporting a world where nobody requires saving because life is about giving and being cared for according to what’s best for all.

Day 41: My Mind Said ———> Run!

I Stop. I Breathe —> I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to after reading today’s chat on Desteni’s private forum – I saw how I experienced back chat within a belief about self that I’ve created which said, ‘you still don’t know anything, so forget it, run away, hide’!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs about myself through back chat as self talk where I have accepted a point of fear toward myself as true, such as fear within a belief that I’m not able to direct myself effectively in my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs about myself through backchat within a false ego of myself of believing that I’ll never accept myself within a point of self-intimacy, so just give up and try and be happy.

Artwork By: Scott Cook

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself through a filter of behaviour in fear as backchat as self-created thoughts that I have not only accepted but have convinced myself of as being true where I have made them a living statement where my belief has become a reality of who I am in action as a religion of self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that within self-created beliefs about myself I am so suppressed that I will never reach a point within myself where in self-honesty I will allow myself to know me as an expression of myself as life as living words according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize that fear is actually a desire of my mind to protect itself from harm where a fearful experience and/or a belief of self as failing serves it’s purpose in that is seals my fate to remain enslaved as consciousness.

When and as I see myself existing in a pattern of fear as back chat/thoughts, I stop. I breathe and I realize that the secret mind fears for it’s survival and will seek and avoid being revealed as the deception that it is. Thus, I commit myself to slow down, breathe and remain here in realizing that there is no where to hide from myself and that it’s taken years of accumulating myself within constructs and patterns and it will require patience with self to walk the corrective application of self in releasing them, and that the only solution is the path of an Equal Money system so that everyone will have access to the de-programming offered through Desteni I Process. Thus, Equal Money is the Only solution that I Commit myself to for the remainder of my life here on earth.

I commit myself to Stop being a victim of fear.

I commit myself to standing in self-honesty in realizing that – the behaviour patterns of my secret mind as back chat/thoughts, where in fear I judge my process and limit who I am within self-created beliefs to/toward myself – that such behaviours and actions as self No longer serve me as who I am walking this Journey to Life through self-forgiveness, and, in self-honesty, I Stop fearful backchat, and I stand in support of life according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to forgiving and releasing the image of myself as ego/fear that I’ve placed before the true image of I am/life.

I commit myself to supporting a system of Equality to improve the experience of life for every living being within our world.

For Excellent support and perspective – Read: Creation’s Journey to Life
Day 42: Fear – Be AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID

Day 40: America is falling down

Recently, I had a dream in which I was in total darkness and within it I allowed a glimpse of myself. There was no fear and no reactions of any kind, no movement, no shapes, no sound or color. Only a clearer understanding of how I’ve ‘Lived’ as ‘Evil‘, and my suppression of myself within it – which has been a point that I’ve not really understood since beginning the Desteni Process. Strangely enough – this post and my self-forgiveness represents the beginning of my healing process from what I realized of myself within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid facing the guilt and embarASSED impressions within myself of how I’ve accepted and allowed myself to continue to support a world/money system that goes to war over land and it’s resources no matter the number of babies caught in the crossfire because of our will to Fight for the right to consume the hell out of this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within hate towards the generations before me who sat quietly watching as we’ve raped our land for profit and tossed common sense to the wind because we believe we have a right to our opinion – when in fact the human is the cause for the death and misery brought by war by men against men in the race to be the best, biggest and richest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to once believe that I lived in the land of the free when in fact I live in the land of the evil where humanity knows no boundaries in it’s consuming within a game to see which slave can have more than the other slave.

I forgive myself that I have been willing to accept and allow life to exist in wars resulting in death and destruction as long as I have a job and money and a false sense of security where I don’t and/or won’t consider the countless number of those suffering and/or dying within our world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear forgiving what I see in self-honesty exists as evil within me because my mind has refused to see the destructive nature of myself as humanity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I live in a country that has the largest gap and inequality between rich and poor compared to all the other industrialized nations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the insanity of trying to live what’s been called the American dream while the wealthiest 20% of the world’s population consumes 76.6% of the world’s goods while 80% of humanity gets the remainder.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overlook an important part of my hate for how this world exists – which is that the evil I see within this world begins first within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that as I have went out of my way to be nice and make people happy what I’ve really been doing is setting up relationships to validate my ego and fuel the evil that I continue to accept and allow as I consume and compete against others, thus creating more and more evil as suffering, war, rape, murder, poverty and starvation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as complacent with myself wherein I have taken advantage of others without complete awareness of the dangers of my decision to regard one life form as less than another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have not only been the abused but I have in fact been the abuser.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself within a point of being co-dependent upon the mental abuse of my secret mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the reality of how our world exists as evil to/towards life because I feared I couldn’t handle realizing what the hell I’ve accepted and allowed as who I’ve become as the evil that exists here within and as our current world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I deserved to live a better life than my neighbor and rejected my responsibility in manifesting a world where living life has always been about me in self-interest and my survival within our current money system.

I forgive myself for the greedy, self-centered and egotistical nature of who I’ve been as I’ve struggled to survive as a working class slave in a world where the wealthiest are wealthy because the poorest suffer and die while the working class slave remains clueless in America.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to celebrate Memorial Day to remember ‘the cost of American freedom’, when in fact it has taken me losing almost everything I had to realize that freedom really is just another word for nothing left to lose because the only freedom that exists is the freedom that comes with having and protecting ownership and money instead of protecting life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to convince myself that it’s alright to reject life through and as a world/money system which commits crimes daily against life through acts of war.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that an Equal Money System will allow all physical life forms to exist here together peacefully.

I commit myself to directing myself Not as an American but in Self-honesty as Mankind.

I commit myself to bring down the borders that exist within myself toward all nations of beings and to support a money/world system that sees to it that No one suffer as Life.

I commit myself to supporting a system of Equality where money is Not here to devalue life but is instead here for the sole purpose of Supporting Life on Earth.

I commit myself to a system that does not capitalize the resources of the land for profit but instead realizes the resources of the land are here to access within the principle of and according to what’s best for all.

Please read the following blogs for further perspectives and self-support:

Creation’s Journey to Life

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Day 39: Once upon a time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that who I am on the inside according to what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as in self-dishonesty is reflected within this physical reality thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that who I am on the outside as my physical body is a reflection of what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as on the inside where I’ve sought to please and impress others through ego, comparison, competition and greed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move myself according to how men within this world as well as myself have defined women as – as ‘pretty’ and ‘sexy’ of which I accepted, allowed and depended upon as an energetic identity and a point of getting attention and I see how my mind still wants to believe myself as the character I played yet I see in the mirror how the aging process is proof that living a life of energy/ego/self-interest depletes life from our physical body even as the mind mourns for what use to be and that which was never real to begin with. (Read: Energy as Authority – Part One: DAY 31)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not hear the pleading of my inner being to stop consuming through energetic experiences which is draining the very life essence from me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a once upon a time memory of myself where/when I could walk into any bar/club and have the attention of any man in the room and within that I forgive myself that I was once proud of myself for that and as that I actually believed I was special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize myself when I look in the mirror because who I see as the physical outside me no longer matches who I am on the inside.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a polarity belief that young equals beautiful and beautiful equals good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support myself using my ego within an idea of being the prettiest and/or the youngest and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel shame within myself for existing in life that way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing attractiveness where I ‘feel’ as if I’m becoming ‘invisible’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear wrinkles, saggy breasts, gray hair, dry skin and weight gain because my sense of self has been associated with the functional status within this world according to appearances within ideas/personalities of and as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that optimism/positive attitude boosts our immune system and increases life expectancy. (Read: Day 5: Redefining Words (Part 2) – Playing polarity games)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take advantage of and destroy that which is real as our physical body/reality and adhere to consciousness in pleasing that which is Not real as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that aging is the most natural process in the world – instead of realizing that we age because we participate in and as the mind as consciousness which is self-dishonest and literally sucks the life from our physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to stop the mind as consciousness is to stop what is here in all ways including our current money/world system – thus we stop all abuse, stress and aging and we create together Heaven on Earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be so consumed in and as my pursuit to have an experience of myself which would validate the picture personality I held so dear of myself in my mind, so much so, that I never once considered the struggles and nightmarish lives that thousands upon thousands of people face in their daily lives. (Read: Day 41: Spiritual Poverty of Love and Light)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within me exists an evil that thrives off of money which is called ego, greed and self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when I die I will come back here and have to walk the same points to once again see/realize and understand that love is a lie and money is the only God that exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that life is Not about taking – Life is about Giving every single living being the ability to experience all things here Equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within this physical reality as nothing more than a reflection of the state of mind as consciousness – instead of existing in self-honesty directing oneself according to what’s best for all and thus creating our physical reality accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare and compete with other women in wanting to be the prettiest, the most intelligent and the most popular – instead of realizing that it is walking hand in hand in supporting the women of this world that real freedom exists in equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a women to compare myself to men – when in fact it is the women of this world who will bring about a world of equality and thus a world worthy for children.

I commit myself to Stop living fears and begin supporting thy neighbor as thyself in supporting Equal Money.

I commit myself to directing myself within the realization that the only thing that really matters within this world is the matter of stopping the inequalities of our current world/money system and supporting a system where All life is the given the quality of life required to support and care for our physical bodies and our physical reality.

I commit myself to call on all women to stand up and be accountable, self-responsible and supportive of a system where all life will be relieved of stress through equal money.

I commit myself to call on all women to stop accepting and allowing men to make decisions regarding the money/world system and to assist and support in creating a system of Equality as Heaven on Earth.

I commit myself to call on the courage of all women to stand and walk together as a group to bring an end to war and starvation and to realize that Together as One is Our Story of Courage.

Day 38: The Price of Ivory

The Price of Ivory

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ok within a world where killing elephants in order to receive money for their tusks/ivory has for some become a habit, a natural part of one’s daily routine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to purchase items for sale made of ivory is the same as killing an elephant by my own hands because in supporting the selling/buying of ivory means more elephants will be brutally killed so that money can be made through the selling of their tusks which are brutally cut in the kill.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a system of ivory consumption, where ivory is treated as a valuable object over the actually physical life of an elephant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within a world where killing elephants is currently equal to that of a gold rush.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed ivory as a precious material able to be sold for profit such as in Asia.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where people live in areas where they are poor and have nothing and thus are subject to the temptations and demands made by those who offer money for the killing of elephants for their tusks so that they may profit within the corrupt world/money system we have created here on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that many elephants are killed because people have no jobs and thus no money to care for themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that elephant dung contains food for other animals and that an elephant eats Sapeli seeds in Kabo and deposits its dung in Ikalemba, Epena, Gabon and the Central African Republic, and out of that will grow the Sapeli trees of the future. Thus, we have failed to understand that to exterminate the elephants means there will be no one to regenerate the forests.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there are not that many elephants left in our world and that a female elephant only gets pregnant about every six years and that it takes 22 months for elephants to produce a single offspring, and that if we keep killing elephants as we’ve been doing, there will be none here for future generations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the killing of any animal for the sake of profit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a corrupt world/money system that fails to see the beauty and majesty of the creatures that walk upon our earth due to greed where profit/money is worth more than the life of living breathing beings.

I commit myself to the support and education of a system that recognizes and understands that to eliminate any species of beings for the reason of profit is to actually be eliminating the ability for all life to survive in areas of our earth.

I commit myself to a system of Equality because then I know that all living beings will be seen and will receive the utmost care and responsibility within an understanding that all life is here for the purpose and unity of realizing our oneness of each other.

Day 37: Barcode everyone at birth

Barcode everyone at birth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the microchip/human barcode is not a threat but is in fact a solution for a humanity that has gone mad in its fear to/towards each other.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that a microchipped population would cause big money corporations/manufacturers to expose any form of abuse and where they must stand responsible and accountable for how all experience life on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the microchip/human barcode is a way to establish whether someone is a self-honest person or whether the person is actually being controlled/persuaded by information/fear and money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that with the microchip/human barcode would be simple to bring an end to the abduction and/or murder of thousands of children who go missing daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the rumor of a new world order when clearly the current world order within our world/money system reduces life on earth to that of an economic system that functions like a casino.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize that human technology is actually very primitive and is only designed for profit/to make money.

I commit myself to supporting a system where the solution provides the ability to keep track of and assist people through an Equal Money system where food, clothing, housing, education and healcare are provided for for all life here.

From: Creation’s Journey to Life Blog: Day 35: Equal Money will Save the World

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that under a Capitalistic System, I become the image and likeness of the Devil, while under the Equal Money System, I become the image and likeness of God.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by winning the opportunity to be wealthy, I FORCE the losers to poverty and mediocrity, and then claim the Equality will force me to abandon my wealth – when I am the one forcing suffering, death and poverty onto the world through individual wealth, through control of property, and money – causing me to have double standards of integrity and morality, serving only my self-interest and denying what is best for all Life. Thus, I refuse to see that the actions of a criminal and the treatment should be as equal as when I have criminalized the poor for stealing food for survival, while I as wealthy steal to kill my opponent and reduce their Life expectance to as little as possible, so that they may never challenge my Tyranny of the Wallet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to claim that success is the result of Capitalism, in fact confirming that success is the root of evil, as I claim that humans cannot move with integrity and need Capitalism to motivate movement. This, without me understanding and considering how human consciousness is programmed to result in what I claim is my free choice, with programming actually confirming that NO choice exists, as all choices were already made as the brainwashed design – you just decide if you like it or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to claim that I have busted my ass to get what I have as wealth, without giving any consideration to all the asses I busted in my claims to wealth; stepping on the many to carry the one, while the Tyrant as the Mind finds ways to justify why the success of wealth is Glory, when in fact it is Gory.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that what I strive for defines who I am , and when I strive for wealth based on money as the root of all Evil, I in fact confirm my own nature to be Evil – and that I then will justify why I may be wealthy as it is my choice, while others are poor as it is their choice, but I refuse to see I am in a system that deliberately keeps resources so limited that a large slave population is developed so that wealthy Tyrants can abuse the slaves while they lay in luxury, claiming it is their God Given Right.

I commit myself to bring awareness that only a Total New System considering all Life Equally will solve the problems of the world.

I commit myself to self-honest, self-forgiveness – as the process to Equality that all walk to become self-aware and self-responsible.

I commit myself to the end of the Tyranny of wealth and ownership.

I commit myself to never be subject to the motivation of outsides forces, but to always move as Life, as me, here – breath by breath.

I commit myself to end all evil in the world through the removal of all Inequality.

I strive in every moment for Life Lived in Excellence, by all Equally – from Birth to Death – in Magnificence; never again to be limited by limited ideas of Self-Interest.

I commit myself to restore Life to be the only acceptable nature of man on Earth.” Bernard Poolman

Day 36: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

Part 2 of Day 35: Under the ‘In-flu-ence’

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” ~Friedrich Nietzche

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that hardship, pain and suffering will make us stronger which is actually suggested through stories from the bible – instead of realizing that to believe that life is about living in hardship, pain and suffering is to continue the enslavement of the mind – and an excellent reminder of why I made the decision to face myself through self-forgiveness and to in self-honesty – Stop the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within fear and self-interest based upon people in my life and/or things in my life that I have feared losing the most.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed within my mind within the memories that I’ve had with regards to my brother/sister/mother, because I didn’t want to face the point of them actually being gone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of my brother/sister/mother within my mind rather than face what it means that they no longer exist within this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memories as a defense and protection mechanism where the greatest fear that the memory protect of the person in my mind is who am I alone with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an internal experience within myself with my mind where I go into mourning in relation to the person in my life who has died thus creating a relationship with them in mind memories, and then become emotional as mourning because of the fear of being alone with myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am only not able to change that which I believe I can’t change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing a safe comfortable feeling within the cushy idea of myself as part of a middle class American family, which wasn’t anything great, but yet provided the perfect backdrop for the continued enslavement of my mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to waste even one more minute within a place of mourning – instead of realizing that the deliberate abuse of others – where one seek at all cost to have more than another must stop – thus at this point, the only solution for those that don’t and/or won’t stand up in support for a system to bring an end to All suffering, is the fact that we’re all equal in the fact that we die – thus death is the one thing that assists in sorting out the mess of inequality existing within our world.

Desteni Farm

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my own limitations within memories, emotions and feelings, and is the reason why within my children lies the future of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use feelings in self-interest as memories/personalities so to accept my self-interest as more important than what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that which is here as what we as a humanity have accepted and allowed in our abusive nature through comparison, competition, ego and greed, where we have taken instead of given, robbed of life instead of standing up as life, and where we have taken for granted the quantity of life provided here on earth in our wanting/seeking to have more than our neighbor.

I commit myself to making peace with the fact that the beings that once were my mom/sister and brother no longer exist within this physical reality.

I commit myself to stopping my accepted point of limitation in and as mourning and making peace within myself with death.

I commit myself to daily self-forgiveness in stopping who I’ve been in self-interest and thus assisting in stopping our self-interest driven current world/money system.

I commit myself to supporting a System of Equal Education for All where Life is an understanding within living where self realizes that – Life is Not about living according to “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” – Life is about supporting thy neighbor as thyself in committing thyself to standing equal and one to all in absolute unconditionally as Life.

I commit myself to realizing that self-forgiveness is only real when I change me as I forgive.

“I commit myself to walk the 7 Year Process day by day as a guide and example for those that would dare to return to Life.

I commit myself to challenge all knowledge and information that is not best for all Life and to establish and participate in research to investigate ALL things AGAIN and to ONLY KEEP what is best for ALL LIFE always.

I commit myself to remind man that Earth is where it will be established – who each one really IS – Life as the Group Life, or Ego as Loner that ABUSE.” ~ Bernard Poolman ~ Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 38: Rebirthing as Life

Day 35: Under the ‘In-flu-ence’ – Part 1

I’m currently, and have been sick with a cold/flu for a little over a week now, and after hearing the interview on Eqafe titled: ‘Life Review – My relationship with Mourning’, I now have a clearer understanding of how the memory of my brother and sister – who both passed away within the past six months – how the memory of them and their sudden death, is having an affect on my physical body. I’ve been avoiding looking closer at the point because when I do, it’s painful. When I say painful, I’m referring to an overwhelming urge to cry, and, I ‘feel’ slightly lost within myself since their death and the death of my mom 11 years ago because, I ‘feel’ like I’ve lost the family members I was once the closest to.

In common sense, I know the ‘feelings’ aren’t real, and during the day, I have no problem breathing through the point. However, in the middle of the night, every night, if I wake up to go to the bathroom or to get a drink of water, that’s when my mind will bombard me with what I call ‘midnight memories‘, (a design of the mind consciousness system) – which consist of reliving the events/experience/fears circling within me of both their deaths. Then, yesterday, I was notified of the autopsy results as to how my sister died, and that added anger to the fuel of the already formed memory constructs.

I begin here in gentleness and patience with myself to release the memories and their in-flu-ence through self-forgiveness.

Art By Scott Cook

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to use me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed me as my physical body to be influenced by the death of my younger sister and brother who I always ‘felt’ were my responsibility to care for and protect and thus ‘feel’ guilty about their death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry for how my sister died in her abuse to/towards her physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry to/towards my brother for the abuse he manifested/created and accumulated within and as his physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear a similar death as my mother and my brother.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry to/towards myself for the abuse and accumulated affects of taking for granted me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the memory constructs of the death of my sister and brother to swell up within the center of my being where all I want to do is sit and cry, but which is manifesting illness and influence against and within me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed, influenced and controlled by the mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be the void in aVoiding walking this point through in self-forgiveness,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in and as knowledge and information through a common sense understanding of life and death but used that against myself in that I accepted and allowed myself to engage it into a state of inner suppression, hence the in-flu-ence the memories have retained within me like a prisoner in custody.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed about myself to be mourning the loss of my brother and sister, because I ‘thought’ in my state of ‘knowledge and information’, that I was better than that causing the affect of my dishonesty to build into and as a physical affect within and as me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an only understanding (knowledge) of what it means/entails to breathe and walk this point through — only speaking it and not living it as who I am.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the hate I experience towards the system is actually the anger and frustration I experience towards me, because I have accepted and allowed this experience within me and I did not stop it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed anger and frustration within me through me believing and/or thinking that I am powerless in the face of the system as my mind of emotions and thoughts as grief and mourning.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that abuse exist within self through accepting and allowing myself to be abused by the mind and because I accept / allow abuse within me – I accept / allow abuse within the rest of the world as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of myself within what I see this point to be, which is self-interest.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am simplicity

I commit myself to realize that I am simplicity.

I commit myself to walking the point of my relationship with mourning through to release through self-forgiveness in self-honesty.

To be continued in Part 2

Day 34: Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

My first memory of what fear looks like was on the face of my Aunt Lea when I was three years old. She still talks about how stressed out she was when she finally found me hanging out underneath a rack of clothes in the retail store where she was spending money. I didn’t even know I was missing.

My first memory of what anger looks like is when I accidentally broke the foot off of a porcelain dog that was my Aunt Lea’s when I was four.

My first memory of what heartache, fear and anger feels like, was when my mother and step dad suddenly arrived to take me from the only place I was familiar with as home – with my grandmother, grandfather and my aunt and uncle’s. I lived with them from the time I was 1 1/2 to 4 1/2 years old.

All three of my first experiences as self as the above memories – all revolved around money. The first one was about spending money, the second one was about wasting money, and the third one was about finally having enough money to feed one’s child. This was the beginning patterns of how I was educated about money and one that has followed me throughout my life, and this is not about blame nor does my story hold any specialness to it.

Families don’t know the first thing about educating their children about money and certainly have no clue how to support a child in being a self-responsible human being – one that will contribute to the overall well being in creating a world system that will provide the necessary means of establishing and replenishing our environment where every living being, from the moment they take their first breath, will be guaranteed the opportunity to flourish and express themselves into oneness of/as being.

The purpose for me sharing these particular memories is to share how if Money were removed from the equation of all three of the memories, what then?

– – if my Aunt hadn’t been under stress to purchase new clothes that she really couldn’t afford, for a job she didn’t even like, and, if she had not spent so much money on the porcelain dog in the first place, and, if my mom had been able to afford for her 1 1/2 year old baby to live with her after her divorce — what then?

Allow yourself to comprehend how Equal Money changes Everything and if that brings up fears we are able to release them through self-forgiveness.

Fear of Change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change because I fear what I might lose because I’ve associated change as going from a good to bad and a bad to worse situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change because I have defined myself according to a specific point thus the point of change requires that I face myself within a fear of loss of self for something that I’ve only believed about myself when in fact isn’t real in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the point of fear of change fear failing which is related to the need for perfection within fear and anxiety of not getting things right, thus I avoid the fear of failing by not doing anything accept existing within the point of fear of change.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that fear of change is the most common reason for resistance to any kind of change and thus stops us from taking immediate action of any kind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear who I am free from the right to brag about having the most money, the best house, car and/or job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change my opinion and/or my intention to/toward others based upon money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear Equal Money because I fear not being part of the system of survival/money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to from an early age focus myself in and as negative and positive energy experiences where I imprinted myself within a belief that life is either good or bad depending upon the amount of money I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself into materialistic manifestations within my world where if I were to lose them, I fear I couldn’t handle it because I wanted to feel as if I controlled my world, when in fact I am controlled and defined according to and as them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed money to be used as a method of control to keep human beings in my world as I want them to be so that I can make sure that I don’t have to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change me to conform and condition myself to who and what exists within this world according to the value I’ve placed in money to be accepted and noticed – instead of me living me as who I am in self-honesty in every moment of breath according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to supporting and assisting bringing awareness to the fact that fear of change is not who you really are.

I commit myself to supporting a system of equality where all change within our world/money system is based according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to proving in self-honesty that the change that Equal Money will allow for every single living being within this world is beyond the limited imagination of our mind as consciousness and thus I will not stop til all living beings is supported in every way with Equal Money.

Join us as we Stand up for and as All Life and change Everything, with Equal Money.

Please read the following blogs for further perspectives and self-support:

Creation’s Journey to Life

Heaven’s Journey to Life