Tag Archive | law of attraction

Day 270: How to Stop being at odds with myself

You know that moment when you’re driving somewhere unfamiliar, and you’re looking and driving and looking for the correct street, then suddenly you convince yourself you’re going in the wrong direction so you turn around, then, you find out later that you turned right before you would have gotten to the place you were looking for? That’s how I would describe what it felt like within myself when I referred to myself as being ‘at odds with myself’. It’s like my wants were in conflict with my needs, and it’s a point that opened up as a memory was triggered of a very emotional and very dark time in my life.

sly

So as I’ve investigated the point further, I realized my inner war has been in my relationship between life  and death and/or right and wrong and in relationship to any and ALL  positive and negative energetic experiences.

Seeking energy is a problem that keeps me going within my fear of death – which has always been creeping forth from within me – even when I didn’t realize that the very world/money system that I live in, and that I have supported, is in fact deciding my choices for me through my fear of survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions according to emotions and feelings and/or the negative vs the positive where through and as negative energetic reactions of/as hope, faith and fear of survival, I sought my desires and accepted and allowed a positive energy/ego experience, paying no attention to the consequences that doing so created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how having to depend upon another for my survival not only compounds and manifests more fear, it also supports internal conflict, which unfortunately determines how I will function and respond to others within and as my world/reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid facing the fears that exist within me and instead allowed myself to be lead down the same path of self destruction over and over within a vicious cycle of self defeating behaviours within the mind-set of right vs wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to struggle with internal conflict, where I secretly disagree or quarrel with myself and then deliberately focus my blame on the externalities of my world as being the reason for why things keep going wrong in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make up my mind through assumption, which is self deception, and for how I put myself in a position where I’m lying just to save face and / or to deliberately harm or deceive/manipulate others to think thoughts that I know will have consequences – where a person cannot self realize, and/ or to say or act in revenge and/or jealousy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chase a dream that I created in my mind through advertisements and television that fuel a desired experience of ego, where in self interest I seek to fulfill my own wants, needs and desires which ultimately keeps me enslaved and trapped within and as them chasing energy as imagined dreams.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I carry some dark energy / memory of myself within my mind that governs/directs me according to my past experiences, and determines my future whether through deliberate choice or self automation.

When and as I see myself experiencing myself within a negative energetic experience that presents itself within emotions of faith, hope and fear, I stop.  I Breathe.  I Direct myself to investigate the motive behind the desire to replace the negative with a positive and to see, realize and understand that self trust and self change come when one stop one’s ego-mind-energy.

I commit myself to stop running from myself and Face who I am as a negative energetic experience so to forgive myself for chasing the dream of ‘if only’.

I commit myself to not make up my mind through assumption and to instead have responsibility towards myself and others as myself according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to getting to know who I really am and to see, realize and understand that dreams and desires cannot be sustained as they exist of energy which inevitably come to an end – where I’m left with nothing – as the nothing the dreams and desires consisted of and existed as, because they exist of/as energy and aren’t real to begin with.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to change the definition of Life and Death to one that is supportive of All Life – from the beginning of one’s Life until death according to what’s best for all.

For Further Clarity, Please download:  Life Angel and Death Devil – Life Review

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“We are in a Society where our Community is Designed by Our Communication, being mostly TOLD WHAT we should ACCEPT as Real and What Not.

Communication like Television, Movies, Magazines, Newspapers and fraudulently conjured up Academic Textbooks to make the Lecturers some Money (See the College Conspiracy Documentary) – All in the Name of the Ultimate Communication, which is “Happiness Consumption”.

The Communication BEHIND All this, is that you’ll be Unhappy, if you do not do your Best to be a Success in Society and make Lots of MONEY to “Live the Dream”, being communicated, nowadays, through Visual and Sound – combined Visions that Tell you what Dream you should Aspire to.” Bernard Poolman

Day 164: After Death Communication – Part 13

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Day 212: The Law that Direct Equality

Artwork By: Marlen Vargas Del Razo
equal money ends slavery

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Excerpt From: Day 341: “I am an Entrepreneur”

“With Equality, The Law that Direct Equality – is an Individual Interaction with Each One, Individually Protecting Each One and with Equal Money – Individually Provide for Each One Sufficiently. With Equality, You Do Not have to Compete to ‘Get to the Top’, which means that: ‘Only the Winner Gets All and the Rest Are Losers’ as it now exists within the Current System. So, Most People are Losers, but Nobody wants to Hear it, because apparently: ‘You’re not a Loser if you have a ‘Positive Attitude’. ‘If You can ‘Think Positively’ then, apparently: ‘you’re Not a Loser’’. But, if You Look at the System, Predictably, as it Exist now: What is Certain? It is 99% Certain that You Will be a Loser, that you will Always be one and that You will Never Get to the 1%.
So, instead of having a ‘100% System’ which is Best For All – you want to Live in a 1% System, where it’s 99% Certain that You will Be and Will Remain a Slave, so will Your Children. ‘The Few’ that Live in Protected little Suburbs with Lots of Money, Big Cars and Beautiful Holiday Packages (and there are Few that Live like that): Those Few are What You Have to Respect and Try and ‘Emulate’…Isn’t there something ‘Mistaken’ with such Reasoning?

Is the ‘Entrepreneurial Spirit’ Really such a ‘Big Thing’? Isn’t the Entrepreneurial Spirit those that come up with Solutions that is Best for All Life?  

The Real Entrepreneurs of this World are Those of the Equal Money System, those of Destonian Integrity – that is a Level of Integrity. The word ‘Destonian’ is simply Describing People that Work for a Destiny that is Best for All Life and therefore, They Have the Integrity that Consider All Other Life Equally to their Own Life. Not being called a Destonian would be a Problem isn’t it? Because, a Destonian is a Word to be Proud of, a Destonian is a Person with Integrity, Somebody that Actually Care with Compassion and Empathy, someone that Understand the Living Word of Love, of Decency.Bernard Poolman @Creation’s Journey to Life

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Day 189: Self-fulfilling Prophecy

Last night I had a dream where I saw someone whose face was blurry and unrecognizable,  yet someone I very much desired attention from . In the dream,  I was aware of how I wanted the person to see me, want me, fulfill and complete me. As the dream was ending I saw a thought/image of myself sitting on the floor with my knees up and my arms wrapped around my legs with my head bent down in disbelief because I realized the person with the blurred face and unrecognizable was me.

hunger
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the negative emotional charges as an experience within me that feels lost and lonely within and as the idea of what if no one sees me, desires and/or wants me.

I forgive myself for the thought/image of myself looking, seeking, longing for attention wherein I desire to be seen, wanted, fulfilled and completed by something and/or someone outside of myself, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that that is how I avoid facing what I’ve become – the vampire who can’t get enough as I continue to suck the life out of me as my physical body and this physical reality through participating in and as negative and positive polarity emotions and feelings, believing I will reach a point of satisfaction when in fact it doesn’t exist,  because I AM that which I’ve been reaching for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself living my life according to a belief thus influencing my actions and reactions where I allow expectations to foster behavior that consistently manifest the expectations.

I forgive myself for the thought/image of myself where I’m sitting on the floor with my knees up and my arms wrapped around my legs with my head bent down – where I’m existing within a state of emotional abandonment in realizing what I’ve accepted and allowed in and as characters/personalities and behaviors only ever looking for answers to my own self-fulfilling prophecy no different from living the law of attraction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I have internal conversation and back chat that says: ‘they don’t like me’ and/or ‘I’m not good enough‘, it’s because I’ve justified my behavior accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed, almost lost like in not realizing that my reactions are actually towards a projection as an image or picture within my mind – not a real expression of me as who I am in and as my own process -but reaching for an image of myself for greatness – instead of me getting to know me in self-honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as feeling physically famished, like a hunger and/or an emptiness within myself for how I have become in and as my attempt of living my own self-fulfilling prophecy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project future presentations of myself without yet forgiving and investigating and redesigning who I am because of having lived according to characters/personalities of/as the self-fulfilling prophecies of what I’ve accepted and allowed.

I commit myself to stop who I am and how I’ve existed in and as living my own self-fulfilling prophecy, where in self-interest and desire I’ve pursued life within the beliefs and ideas of what can I do, what can I have, what can I buy and get and/or what can I be in order that I may be happy.

I commit myself to stop the dreams of and as my mind of what might have been and realize that ‘Might’ keeps me locked into the past of emotions, feelings and moods, thus, I commit myself to stop manipulating myself through thoughts into words which I’ve perceived to be acceptable and to instead direct my thoughts to become a living expression of who I choose to be as an expression of life within and as a practical living example that will ensure that everyone have a right to life according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to face the fear of facing the nature of who I’ve become as my thoughts and to allow myself to direct my thoughts as what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become to that which is able to walkas the directive principle of self according to and as the principle of equality.

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Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life

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Day 184: Offended? Let’s Rock the Boat

Here I am investigating how I have become aware of internal conversation/back chat where I hear myself say to myself: ‘that offends me’.

I will use an example of what happened to me recently when I mentioned to a lady sitting next to me in the Doctor’s office that Equal Money is the only real solution to the utter chaos that exists here on earth. She was quick to disagree and her reason for doing so was as she put it: “there will never be enough people to agree upon such a thing”. Upon hearing her comment, I heard myself say to myself: ‘that offends me’, and then I became irritated and then angry when I wasn’t able to communicate further with her because her name was called for the Dr. who was ready to see her.

It’s not the first time that I’ve felt ‘offended’ when money is the topic of a conversation that I’m having with others. A couple of other things that I am often offended by is:

– – how we bow down to movie stars and/or anyone who has a lot of money.

I also get angry about how unconcerned we are that the rich have more than enough while millions have absolutely nothing.

offended

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel offended and/or irritated and angry by the words and/or actions of another and for not realizing that only me as my mind as consciousness can experience being offended.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become offended at the idea of not having enough money to live on and within that I forgive myself that I have existed in fear that there won’t be enough money for myself and my family to survive thus,  I forgive myself for existing in self-interest and greed where I only ‘think’ to consider the fate of me and my family – instead of the fate of everything and everyone!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I become offended and angry towards those who are rich and famous it’s because I’m jealous and envious of the power that having money gives them and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harbor thoughts/images, like an instaflash of myself living my life like the rich and famous and for feeling guilty for supporting my own mind imagination/illusion by living vicariously through the lives of the rich and famous, thus why I continue to support that which supports my own secret mind illusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the internal conversations and backchat where I hear myself say ‘that offends me’ because I secretly fear who I am as the offender of life, as one who has sit quietly by and supported the way our current world/money system exists because I secretly want to have and be more than, meaning: I secretly want someone to stroke me as who I am as ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am the offender that I perceive myself offended by because I imagine and participate within my secret mind to having the same experience that I see the rich and famous having and yet I become irritated and angry toward them when the fact remains that I accept, allow and participate in and as an illusionary version of the very thing I’m offended by, thus I Am RESPONSIBLE  for the money madness of profit and greed that is crippling our world/reality/existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a living expression of the words ‘offended’ and ‘offender’ according to negative energetic experiences of myself in how I have defined myself within the beLIEf that I’m able to be offended – when in actuality, when I ‘feel’ offended, it’s because I’ve just accepted myself as the victim – which is what I become because I fear taking responsibility for how our world/money system exists, because I fear if I acknowledge the insanity of our current world/money system then I will have to acknowledge the role that I play as the offender as well as many more of a cast of characters that I fear giving up as that which supports the abuse within and as our current world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a negative experience of myself within the belief that someone has offended me and within that I forgive myself for how I experience myself as having lost – as if life is a game of winning and losing and so within the cycle of polarity of win and lose, I either experience myself as winning or losing – where within a disagreement with another I define my experience as being offended and become angry, irritated and resentful and thus experience myself as having a negative experience as if I’ve just lost at a game thus, I forgive myself for living life like a game, always looking to achieve some sort of energetic experience for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that as the character of and as my mind as the offender that I secretly believe that I am entitled to have and been seen as more than others because I’ve not been willing to stop the polarity game of winning and losing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how irritation and anger has a direct effect within and as my physical body which results in pimples and boils to erupt as an indication of suppressing who I am as it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my own acts of transgression, whereas I have followed the laws set by man/self and in doing so I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the Principle of Equality/LIFE, that whosoever is born unto this earth/world/reality/existence shall be given that which earth has provided for as All as ONE as Equal.

When and as I hear the words in my head: ‘that offends me’, I stop, I breathe – I see, realize and understand that the words are a red flag for me to stop, breathe, and investigate who I am as living in polarity through games of winning and losing – which is basically me wanting to have my ego stroked – thus I commit myself to direct myself to stop all reactions as internal conversations and back chat and to walk the point through in self-corrective application.

I commit myself to investigate who and what is really going on within me when I beLIEve that someone has offended me.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to live vicariously through the lives of the rich and famous and to instead take self-responsibility for what is here.

I commit myself to stopping the application of polarity of/as winning and losing and to begin living life one and equal with what is here.

I commit myself to redefine who I am as the words offended and offender, wherein I may become a living expression of/as the words within the principle of oneness and equality.

I commit myself to let go of my current life programming and to commit myself to identifying and studying the nature of who I am as my thoughts, feelings and emotions, to thus see, realize and understand who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I commit myself to direct the nature of who I am to become that which is best for all.

Day 166: It’s Not You – It’s Me

I have memories of me as a child where in my mind I would imagine what it would feel like to be special in the eyes of my parents. The imagination game within my mind required that I become certain characters dependent upon how I wanted to experience myself. Within that, I mentally dragged my sister along and ultimately blamed her when things didn’t go my way. And actually, I’ve done this with everyone I’ve ever had a relationship with, therefore, I will begin with the following self-forgiveness as I investigate myself further in realizing – that everything and anything that bothered me about my sister and/or anyone or anything that bothers me for that matter – I can be sure that the same exists within me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone and lonely so much that all I lived for was that moment when I experienced a positive energetic charge within myself that gave me a feeling of well being and I didn’t care what lie I had to tell or who got hurt in the process of me getting high on that feeling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my mind on an idea and according to that idea shut myself off to everyone within my world where I won’t actually hear or see how another being is actually experiencing themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for how and what I can do, get and have to make the experience of myself a positive and happy one and within that never considered how and who will have to experience themselves in a negative way under horrible circumstances in order to fulfill my self-serving tendencies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the evil that exists within me when I judge what I perceive as someone being a ‘failure’ and how I will take from their negative energy experience a false sense of self where I see myself as being better than and thus believing myself within a positive energy experience so that I can reach that feeling good about myself place,  not realizing that in order to have happy there must be sad – the same applies in that,  in order for there to be the rich, there must be the poor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the failure of others as an opportunity to get attention and a way of making myself believe that i look better through the eyes of others as a result of someone else’s failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty when I am enjoying myself because of how I have harbored judgment and resentment toward people who I see are enjoying themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be able to enjoy myself because I fear that others will judge me because within my mind I have secretly judged them.

to be continued

Important Blogs to Read Daily:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

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Day 155: Oh MY God, I’ve Lost it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear/believe/participate in and as the thoughts: ‘Oh MY God, I’ve Lost it’ – six words that keep popping up within my mind following an image of me lowering my head and slightly rubbing my nose and pausing just as I’m sitting in front of the computer to write, where in that moment, I lose awareness of myself as breath and allowed myself to be distracted with the backchat in my head which caused me to reject myself, thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how in that moment within me, I was rejecting myself within the starting point of self-interest and unknowingly (when I slow myself down I realize what I’m doing) I would hide within myself from me and ultimately manifest intense pain within my physical body in my upper back region.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I manipulate myself where I justify my stuckness as unimportant and act as my own bad referee where I basically sideline myself, isolate myself, and literally remove myself from being the directive principle in self-honesty of and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I exist in and as resistance, my body language morphs into and as the resistance, where I cross my arms in defense and protection from others, and my right hand clutches my left hand,  basically, I hold a position of superiority while existing in and as inferiority, causing pain within my physical body, and lots of it, and secretly, I know within my mind that my physical body is showing me the tell-tale signs of my suppressed state, thus, I stop, I breathe. I commit myself to see, realize and understand that when I slow myself down I am able to move beyond the point of resistance and thus stop the thoughts of and as my mind as the words saying to me: ‘Oh MY God, I’ve Lost it’, because I see, realize and understand how the words are me and represent a point of acceptance of how in the past I’ve allowed myself to sink into and as a resistance which manifests and creates physical pain within and as my back, thus I commit myself to stop what I see, realize and understand is a point of resistance, a sort of blockage of emotions and feelings within and as my physical body,  I breathe, I earth myself here in becoming the directive principle of/as and for me in order to first change myself through self-honesty from the inside out to thus stop resistance, to thus begin to express myself as who I am, to give my all to me through gratefulness for and as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate the amount of self suppression I have existed as, because I see, realize and understand how this Day 155, of me walking the Journey to Life , I realize that I am only now getting started, therefore, I commit myself to see, realize and understand both the magnitude and the simplicity of making the decision to continue writing and applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, because I comprehend how it is only through this Journey that I will ever come close to being who I am, as well as having the opportunity to possibly birth myself as Life from the Physical. I am grateful to/for me as my physical body for supporting me as I walk this Journey and support a World according to what’s best for All.

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Day 132: Hey, You Belong to Me!

Walking Self-forgiveness here for reactions I realized within myself according to how I experienced myself when a woman was talking/flirting at my partner while we were shopping for groceries today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within my relationship with my partner that I still react in jealousy within the illusion of control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I become a character of and as my mind as that of jealousy, how within that moment I am trapping myself in/as emotions of inferiority and superiority and, where I become judgmental of myself and judgmental of those around me, which threatens the perception within my mind of how my relationship with my partner is suppose to be within my illusion of control.

Art by Andrew Gable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I become a character of/as jealousy to/toward my partner where within my mind I hear a voice that proclaims: ‘Hey, ‘you belong to me’, thus, I see, realize, and understand that what I’m really doing is existing within an illusion of control in trying to protect the ‘perception’ I have of our relationship, which is actually me trying to control my partner according to how I ‘want’ him to be in order to keep my illusion of control going in order to maintain how I ‘want’ myself to be/feel in my relationship with my partner, thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have formed my relationship with my partner within a relationship of jealousy and control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within my relationship with my partner, I have from the very beginning formed a ‘preconceived idea’ which I imposed onto our relationship of how I wanted our relationship to be, thus, in order to keep my ‘idea’ of our relationship in tact, in how I ‘desire’ it to be, I will try and control it through jealousy – where I become jealous of other people that appear to be threatening my desire, want and need of how I ‘intend’ the relationship to be, thus, I commit myself to STOP who I am within the illusion of control in how within and as such I believe that I can somehow take control of another being as who they are as their mind consciousness system and as who they exist as, when I see, realize and understand that there is no way that I can actually control who they are, and there is no self-honesty in doing so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I felt that my relationship to my partner was threatened, I imitated actions to further my control through how I suddenly saw myself physically reach out and grab a hold of his hand and in how I began to walk closer to him as if I was a dog marking ‘my territory’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within my wants, needs and desires are preconceived ideas that I try to impose onto my relationship, how what I’m actually doing is trying to manifest into reality my own self-interest, because the wants, needs and desires that I perceive myself as, is actually my attempt to continue the illusion of control within and as my mind as consciousness, thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within the illusion of control I have existed within a cycle of inferiority and superiority in always trying to connect to that which I’m existing in separation to/of, thus why I try and manifest my connection in my relationship through/as jealousy as energy experiences of positive/negative as wants, needs and desires, thus our relationship continues as a constant chase, over and over within the neutrality of/as the illusion of control, thus, I commit myself to stop fueling wants, needs and desires through and as jealousy where I then change my behavior and manifest and create stress unto me as my physical body when the fact is that in self-honesty, I see, realize and understand that it is I who decides and directs who I am as my mind and it is I that has to face who I am within everything here and within that, I commit myself to slow myself down and come together as One as All to manifest and create Heaven on Earth.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within and as a character of and as my mind as jealousy, how, I never actually realized until today just what a monster feels like on the inside of me as my physical body in that it felt as if I was growing from the inside out, swelling up within myself in fear of losing my ‘perception’ of control, thus, when I stop and breathe, I see in self-honesty that the desire to control my partner/other beings is only an illusion, thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how jealousy damAGES the internal organs and cells of and as me as my physical body, and furthermore, I commit myself to Never Forget that Love as we’ve lived it as Consciousness has never existed within and as the Principle of Equality.

When and as I see myself reacting in jealousy in order to fuel my wants, needs and desires within an illusion of control, I Stop. I BREATHE. I commit myself to investigate my thoughts, my words and how I am behaving, in order to stop manifesting and creating relationships within my reality according to the components of want, need and desire and jealousy within the illusion of control through and as superiority/inferiority as that which fuels me in my wants, needs and desires, and jealousy within and as the illusion of control.

I commit myself to stop pushing myself to be and have an experience of myself within and as wants, needs and desires in trying to control a relationship because I see, realize and understand that that is NOT actually who, what and how I am when I am breathing in and as self-honesty.

“I commit myself to SHOW that the LIGHT and LOVE Created in the Mind as Consciousness, is Only a Chamber of Illusion, Where the Fearful Hide from Responsibility.” ~ Bernard Poolman