Archive | November 2010

The Gift One Gives To Self – Is Equality and Oneness Accumulating

Communicated very well with my son recently.  Was interesting how I was willing to hear him within a clearer understanding of our oneness.  In facing him, I am facing me.  He said how he just doesn’t believe as I believe and that this is the cause for our differences.  Which is really true so that was cool to hear.  He specifically said this when referring to an ‘Equal Money System’ – that he knows there is assistance for those who are not able to feed themselves because his sister-in-law (who recently moved in with him and his wife) was able to, by ‘putting forth the effort’ was able to receive a substantial amount for food stamps.  I was aware of the energy surrounding me in this moment just waiting for me to ‘usher’ it in, and except it as who I am – therefore becoming unequal within our communicating.  So, I remained aware of my breathing and heard what he was saying, which assisted me to see that I use to view our current system in exactly the same way.  I was then able to reference from my past experience when volunteering for a domestic violence intervention service – where I began to realize that receiving government assistance is not so easy.

First you require a place of residence and valid ID, to provide in the paperwork to be approved.  If you’re homeless, you have no residence, some don’t even have a valid form of ID, nor the money to get one.  Now, there are laws that says no homeless person will be denied food stamps if they do to not have permanent residence.  However, try getting the paperwork through the current system and you will quickly learn that the laws of our current money system does not assist and support those who have nothing. They are quickly put to the back of the line – unless you’re fortunate enough to come across an employee within the system who isn’t yet tired of hearing the same story over and over. The stories of lack of support within the current monetary system are endless.  The same employee who is barely surviving themself – doesn’t really want to hear.  Also mentioned that plenty around the world don’t have any options as a means of support.

Also shared that it is not self supportive for anyone to have to exist within the dependency of another… Even if they are given some government assistance – there is no guarantee that it will be there forever so offers no real means of accumulative support.  An ‘Equal Money System’ – eliminates dependency – thus assists in building self trust and self responsibility.

It is interesting how our mind – just to hear the word ‘equality’ – will accept the current money system as working for all – when in fact, it is not.  A clear indicator that our education system is failing us in all areas within the current system – mainly because of lack of vocabulary and understanding.  The design is on purpose.  The comfortableness within this mindset is showing it’s effects – and will no doubt require each and every one of us to experience ourself as uncomfortable in order for us to stop and actually see all the suffering we’re accepting and allowing – because we settle within our mind of knowledge and information that has not been updated and redesigned to support all life.

I shared how, I do not ‘believe’ in an Equal Money System.  I ‘Support’ an ‘Equal Money System’, because I have stopped and seen and heard a very small amount of the suffering, and within this have began to see the role that I have played in accepting and allowing the current money system to continue.

I saw that my sharing was from a realization in what I have in self honesty been facing within myself.  This assisted me in recognizing my son as me.  I did not allow any energetic mind interference that I could see trying to be triggered by words that he was using in his language – so I was able to slip past points of conflict by speaking to his ‘mind’, as my ‘mind’ once accepted – only now, directing myself within – to remain here, equal and one as the moment.

This was fascinating to walk through. A clear indicator of how self forgiveness in self honesty assists because in realizing myself in his words – I was able to forgive myself in the moment. And, I sensed that he sensed the correction.  I became accepting of myself and in applying myself accordingly – I became receptive of him as me.  Within a quality equal of receiving.  War between us stopped.

As we ended our sharing.  He said, call me later mom

Words from him that I haven’t heard in awhile – twenty five years, to be exact.  Proof for myself – The Gift One Gives To Self – Is Equality and Oneness Accumulating

I am grateful

Forgiving childhood wonders of my mind

I watched ‘Alice in Wonderland’ for the first time when I was 8.  Although I remember very little about the movie itself, what I do remember is the fascination I begin to have about dragons. So it seems the movie certainly assisted me in participating within the ‘wonderings’ of my mind instead of remaining and participating within my world.  Which is another reason that I can’t remember much about my childhood. Because I was to busy participating in thoughts and ‘ideas’ of my mind.  Proof to me that often we sit our children in front of movies as a way of preoccupying them and sub sequentially the effects begin to form movies in their minds.  If we are going to share a movie with our children, then we must effectively ask our children their perspectives.  This applies to anything we are teaching and/or showing them.  Children have the most simple and self honest perspectives when given the opportunity to share. They will show us how to share ourselves more effectively.  Simple self expressions that have a quality within equality, if we will only hear.

I wasn’t effective in sharing and communicating with my first two children. I was always to busy within myself being concerned about our money situation, always just trying to survive.  I always ‘thought’ that I was concealing and protecting them. But all I was really doing was not facing myself, so I didn’t face them at all.  They always knew when something wasn’t quite right – even when I went through my divorce with their father. I never sat down and shared with them what was happening and I never asked them how they were. Hell, I avoided the subject as I went on trying to survive through the fear of ‘would I be able to care for them’.  Like feed and clothe them and provide them a home.  Easy to see how an ‘Equal Money System’ would have, and will provide and eliminate much stress that parents exist as.  Causing them to become preoccupied within the ’fear of survival’.

Children have a way of showing us the uniqueness within us that we may have never considered, and in the exact moment, show us our oneness within it all.  Are we asking and are we hearing the children?

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to silence myself within the wondering of my mind.  Instead of facing myself in self honesty and standing up as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to escape into the fear of survival as a way of not facing my world as me.  Instead of standing and stopping my participations within the movies in my mind and directing me here equal and one as all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ask my children questions because I was to afraid to hear that they might be sad.  Instead of directing my starting point with my children from the starting point of equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had the right to impose my belief systems upon my children.  Instead of standing as assistance and in support for them in their becoming who they really are which is all as one as equal.


Huge Panda vs Taken

I was taught how to think and I was taught how to write – I was shown expressions of hate by those who spoke of love.  I believed that I had to pretend to be someone I wasn’t until one day I became all that allowed.  I’ve been the beggar of the worst kind because of my pretense to be that which I wasn’t by begging for approval within personalities that were not even who I really was.
I wanted to run with the popular crowd because they seemed to be the happiest. But I didn’t even know them.  I know who I was as night fell and I was left with just me.  I still yearned for something and/or someone to come notice me.  The guy that I lost my virginity to was from Louisiana.  He was going to school for aeronautics,, and he had a girlfriend ‘back home’ who he would go visit on holidays.  I knew of her because he told me about her from the beginning. But I didn’t care because he was five years older than me and I thought he was the coolest thing there ever was.  I was sure that I was in ‘love’.  We were together for a year and a half, and he would tell me straight up how he was still talking to M, but that I was ‘special’.  haha

Sex will cause one to say the damndest things. The thing is, I believed him because I didn’t want to face myself in self honesty.  Because really, I thought the whole thing was messed up and I knew that she did not know about me.  If I had faced myself in self honesty and stopped, and told him that he had to choose – it would mean that I would ‘risk’ giving up the energy that I couldn’t wait for within the self manipulation that I accepted because I got off on the attention.  For christmas that year, he bought M a giant panda bear that was holding a heart – the head of the gorgeous panda in it’s sitting position, touched the roof in his apartment.  I was devastated.  And what’s weird is,  he couldn’t wait for me to see it.  I looked at it for a whole month before he stuffed it in his car after he kissed me goodbye. To assist in keeping the control – he bought me a necklace that read ‘taken’ on it, and that piece of jewelry worked wonders in keeping me locked in the mindset that ‘he cared’ and that ‘I was special’.

I can barely remember what it looked like, but I can sure remember what was written on it.  Because I participated within my mind of thoughts in a make believe world that was not as it appeared to be.  After losing my virginity to him and then getting my period late, I decided that I had to stop having sex.  I was sure that this would be no big deal to him, and he even said it wasn’t when I told him – however, nothing was ever the same.  The truth of our relationship proved it, when days later I caught him within someone else. I wanted to die in that moment when I realized that I really had been ‘taken’.

I ran out of the apartment and two months later when I knew he was about to leave my town forever, I called him.  We met at a nearby park and I told him how much he had hurt me. He said he was sorry and that he was going to call before he left because he thought maybe we could work things out. (I found out later the other girl he was with the day I caught him cheating on me, had dumped him)  I told him that he would also have to give up M and he wasn’t prepared to do that so finally I stood up for me and said no, it’s over – I stopped.

So I’ve witnessed the cause and effect from my own enslavement where I became what I and I alone accepted and allowed – participation of the mind.  Expressions of someone that I never really was if I’m facing myself in self honesty.  My self expression doesn’t always fit according to standards implied upon society, but I will keep writing and walking myself to here, until words flow as me as who I am becoming in self honesty.

I accept me and I am here and I walk – Oneness and Equality

Drop the mAsK – unVeIL yOuRSelf

One thing that really gets me are the things we place value in where we will follow and accept the most revolting ideas all for the sake of money.

Money has become the means in which to slay the boredom of our minds.  We get bored, we look to spend money.  We consume at an alarming rate because we are reluctant to stop, breathe and face ourselves.

fraudulent spending – so much that it would take days to list them all
anyone ever hear of self honesty – throwdown the mask, drop the veil

what do people who have no money seek when the boredom of the mind looks to spend money
Imagine having no food, no clean water, no home and no money
easy to see why depression and crime exist – easy to see why people commit suicide because our mind places the value of self within an idea that money is the only answer
survival mode it is
we programmed the current system as it is and we can stop
cause, we’re consuming ourselves

Imagine – you are born and at the same moment of birth you are placed with enough money to always feed and clothe yourself
you have clean water and a home – education and healthcare
survival mode gone
who will you be
how will you act
who will you become

Equal Money System – The Solution
Scary?  No way?
If this idea is scary to you – or you just can’t wrap you’re mind around it
then understand
the mind reaps (takes from you as your physical=you die) – what it sows (plants seeds of deception within and without)

As within so without – we reflect what we have accepted and allowed ourself to be unto our world
In other words – what you participate in as the mind – so shall you be and remain
suggestion – stop participating in the mind of thoughts, pictures, feelings and emotions/reactions
Self forgiveness in self honesty is the key to Self  – as all as one as equal

Today I realized something about myself…so again, I say,,, Till here no further– I accept me and I am here and I walk – Oneness and Equality


Drop the mAsK – unVeIL yOuRSelf


Thoughts of the mind are deadly

I was giving my 4 month old granddaughter a bottle filled with water. She is still not quite use to drinking water and so a couple of times she drank so fast that she choked for a second and gasped for air.

This caused me to realize how untrustworthy that the mind really is, because it cannot even be counted on to know when to breathe.

The mind will never offer an equality equation worthy of all life because the ‘idea’ of equality threatens the existence of the mind.   Equality for all life would mean we will be ‘stopping’ our dependency upon the mind and instead directing ourself  as our mind, equal as all here.


Applying self honesty and self forgiveness – Stops greed and ego, and will stop the compulsive behavioral patterns associated within and as them.

Writing the word ‘associated’ just now brought up a word within me.  The word was ‘satiated‘ – I know that ‘satiated’ for me means to overindulge or do something in excess and/or to satisfy one’s desire to the point of boredom.   Well, that makes sense to me.  We allow so much overindulgence within our thought patterns that we begin to ‘think’ of ways to get attention through energetic experiences just to curb our minds boredom.  I have existed as such and I stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within thoughts, feelings and emotions until they satiated me where I would search for and allow energetic experiences of myself so as to curb the boredom of my mind.

I do not accept or allow such thoughts, emotions or feelings within me – this is not who I am

Forgiving memories of my childhood beliefs

We spent the evening with our three grandchildren. My two grandsons are 5 and 3, and their parents are not getting along very well. My daughter and her husband have been together for awhile, so the resonant patterns that brought them together are no longer there. The discussion began on its own as we talked about our fears. They didn’t have much to say, however, it reminded me of some of my fears when I was close to the same age. Self forgiveness on some I remember is required.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to feel fearful, sad and lonely.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing those that say they love me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe some people are more special than other people.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make fun of others with my friends.

I remember the day I was told that everyone dies. I know I was very little, but I don’t know how old I was. I didn’t want to believe it because it seemed as if I had always been here even though I couldn’t remember.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept Jesus christ as my lord and savior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when we die we go to heaven or hell.

When I was little, I remember hearing that they dug up Abraham Lincoln’s body and that there were scratch marks in the coffin from his finger nails. From that point on I was ‘scared’ of being buried alive.

The word ‘scared’ stands out to me that I just wrote, only it’s more like I have many ‘scars’ within me from my participations within fears of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imprint ‘scars’ within myself within the dishonesty that I have existed as. I Stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being buried alive.

I forgive myself that I allowed myself to believe that there was an invisible place called heaven in the sky and even wondered if people might fall on my head.

I remember how I use to wish the angels I saw in the trees would come save me from my thoughts and emotions of myself as being inadequate and ‘scared’ of being alone.

I forgive myself that I allowed myself to believe that I saw angels sitting in trees and that they were assisting people that deserved to be assisted according to their past behaviors and lives.

I was five and spending the summer with my grandma who lived far from town in the country. One night my dad who worked as a guard at the local state prison came home and said he was going to search for a convict that had escaped. It was believed he was near my grandma’s house. He was never found and from then on, every time I was at my grandma’s, I was terrified.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the dark.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear someone breaking into our house and kill us so I would cover my head at night as I was falling asleep, careful to keep one leg always moving across the bedsheet, ‘thinking’ if someone came in to kill us and saw me moving, they would think I was awake and then they wouldn’t be able and willing to kill me.

I was terrified of the dark because that is when I would see ghosts in my room.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to secretly believe what my eyes saw in supporting the fears of my mind, that aliens were standing beside my bed in the dark.

When I was little I hated holidays because I would see people in my family act nicer than they really were.

I forgive myself that I have have accepted and allowed myself to act nice to try and impress people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to misinterpret the meaning of ‘respect’ to mean that I must be ‘nice’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form judgments of my friends and family.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that ‘labor day’ was the day that babies were born.

I forgive myself that I allowed myself to believe that a man in a red suit called santa clause was coming to my house once a year for cookies and milk and to leave gifts.

I forgive myself that I allowed myself to hope that I would get better gifts than my brother and sisters.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become angry at santa clause because he didn’t leave me the gift I wanted.

I forgive myself that I allowed myself to want my teeth to fall out when I was little, so I could put my tooth under my pillow to receive money so I could buy candy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have more than others.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe something was wrong with me because I liked to touch my private parts.

I forgive myself that I allowed myself to secretly wish everyone would become as ugly on the outside as they were on the inside.

I forgive myself that accepted and allowed myself to hate myself because I was called names and bullied in elementary school.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that when people eat their buggers that the buggers would turn into worms.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that bad things only happen to bad people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must pretend to like people even if they were/are mean to animals.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be and become a ‘people pleaser’

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that secretly I was a queen from a faraway place from which my closest loved ones were watching my quest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be a hero.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe others as being a ‘better’ hero than me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I learned to ride a unicycle that my parents would notice me.

I forgive myself that I lied to my parents about who I was so as to receive their attention and please them.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to change myself into someone that I wasn’t so I would be accepted by others as special.

I forgive myself that I allowed myself to have sex for the first time because I didn’t want to lose the attention from my boyfriend.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to secretly hope that I would get pregnant when I was 16 so I wouldn’t have to live with my step dad and mom.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that everyone in the world had money to feed and care for themselves, instead of realizing how many are starving to death.

I stop the abuse that I have accepted and allowed to exist as who I am, since I was a child, and what I have manifested within and as this world. I Stop. Till here no further.

I commit myself to Standing

My dog Buddha who recently passed was of great assistance for me. I miss her. Within this I must ask myself, what would I do if Desteni ceased to exist. I admit for a moment, I cried. The tools that Desteni offers to assist self in realizing how and why we exist in this world – as well as the world solution of Equality – is Remarkable. There is no other assistance anywhere in this world as effective for self as the Desteni message.

I’m asking myself if I have taken self responsibility in facing myself in self honesty, and am I truly standing in support of all life equally, even if I were to be the only one standing.

Many cannot and/or will not see and hear the Desteni message because in doing so, they fear having to face themself. Self honesty requires giving up the things we have ‘believed’ to be important and dear to us and we begin to see the effects that our participations have here upon all life. One discovers there was never anything or anyone to give up when facing self in self honesty.

I realize this process is about self and that we are essentially alone as one within it. However, if it were just me walking this process with no support from anyone whatsoever – am I still standing…

I rededicate myself to my process – in this moment of breath, walking, applying self forgiveness in self honesty.

I will stand in support of an Equal Money System and World Equality in support of all life Equal and One. I commit myself to Standing – till it is done.

Honor Killings…

My son J is thirty four, I became pregnant at sixteen, got married, divorced and now J and I rarely see each other or speak. The last time we had a dispute was in July when he deleted me from face book. He kind of got over being angry and is on my face book again. This is the point today that I am facing.

I raised J according to my beliefs in god when he was small. When he was eight his father and I divorced. I went straight into an abusive relationship and to spare my two children from being around the abuse , I signed papers that were initiated by their father K, for them to live with him.

**The whole sentence that I just wrote supports judgment within blame where I have believed and blamed K as the reason that my son and I cannot get along because of the things that I believed his father would say about me.

I hid from myself within not taking self responsibility for my children. I did not leave the abuse that I was accepting and allowing myself to participate in because it was easier to blame K than to face myself.

**I just realized the addictive energetic pattern within my last sentence that I wrote. It ‘feels’ of despair – Instead of facing myself, I have always participated within the emotions and feelings within the energy. I have never seen this as clear as I am now. I am creating this because I have always participated as the energy in our communication with each other.

We have barely had any kind of relationship in years, however, when I stopped believing in god, this caused a huge barrier. Today I saw the following link on his face book wall:

Staff Sgt. Giunta’s Medal of Honor – 60 Minutes – CBS News
60 Minutes on CBS News: Staff Sgt. Giunta’s Medal of Honor – The first living soldier to win the Medal of Honor since the Vietnam War tells Lara Logan in an emotional interview just what he did to earn the nation’s highest combat honor and how the recognition makes him uncomfortable.

His comment below the link was: Amazing story!

When I saw the link and read his comment, I went and read the story and I became aware of the energy surrounding me. I wrote out my last confrontation with J, so I knew my son as a point to flag – where there are energetic resonant patterns – a flag point that tells me to stop.

I stopped. I breathed. I got up and I walked.

I was aware of how I wanted to cry, and that I was extremely sad within myself where I almost wanted to crawl in bed, instead I breathed. Within moments , the energy was gone. I spoke self forgiveness for awhile and realized how cool it was to see how the energy dissipated and verifying for myself – the energy is not real. I returned to face book an hour later and as I saw his post again, I wrote the following comment:

He risked his life saving life, all the while killing life, and for this -we present one with medals of honor. Honor Killings…

Shortly after afterward he erased the comment and sent me the following message:
I dont care what your beliefs, values, morals or political stances are. But when your are rude, or show a lack of respect for what other people believe in or are proud of it makes me sad, and I have no business for it being associated with me, or being a part of my life. Please leave me alone if you can’t say anything nice! You have no respect for anyone and it saddens me!!!!!

When I read this, once again I was aware of the energies of the same resonant pattern – not as strong as before. I stopped all thoughts. I breathed and applied self forgiveness and the pattern moved through me with quicker ease. whew — release

My return message:
I honestly have no idea how what I wrote seemed rude to you. It is obvious truth. He was given a medal of honor for saving the lives of his fellow troops who are fighting ‘our’ war ‘killing’. So, we ‘honor killing’. The concern should be, that we put them ‘All’ in this position because we accept and allow it. I support ALL LIFE Equally – as well as an Equal Money System and World Equality. That’s the sum of it. How is this rude? We must very careful what we support because whatever we participate within and as, we WILL experience the same. That my son, is how life is. You should not believe me, see your world for yourself.

That was all I wrote. Looking at the words I used in the comment which were ‘honor killings’, I can see this is a point I used as a form of manipulation. This is what brings me here to write and assist myself with muscle communication using the tools from SRA in flagging more points – because this point is not clear, and will present itself again in the physical face to face.

I verified through muscle communication that the Priority Pattern I will be working with is Addiction. The specific point verified Victimization.

The specific point within victimization that I am working with verified as Family Members and the specific family member verified as J

Within the Specific Experience towards J, whom I experience this pattern in which I manifest my experience verified as Sadness.

Verified with muscle communication that:
The Priority emotion/feeling experience verified as Sadness towards J is within the Behaviourol pattern of Addiction within Victimization. This is what I have accepted and allowed and manifested as me.

Every word I’ve written implicates me. I’m the primary person responsible within how I experience myself in my relationship with my son. I have not directed myself equal and one. It begins here.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be and become my own version of self victimization.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not take self responsibility in what I was teaching my children within false beliefs directed of the mind therefore continuing generations of patterns resulting in our enslavement.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed an idea of victimization within my mind that K said bad things about me to my son and within this I have separated myself from J creating for myself the very beliefs to manifest that I have feared.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take things personal instead of realizing that I only take things personal because I fear losing something and I am capable of stopping this pattern.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become sad towards J within emotional/feeling patterns of addiction and self victimization wherein I doubt myself and this causes me to go into the experience of sadness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sad because a person who I was in a relationship with won’t talk to me instead of realizing that they no longer have any influence over me except that which I accept and allow.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to K as having a better relationship with J because I compared his ability as better than mine to care for my children and in this allowing myself to participate within the pattern of self victimization.

I forgive myself for the past when I told J that he is being dishonest, so that the point is about him being dishonest instead of me having to look at where do I allow dishonesty within judgment and self victimization.

I forgive myself for holding back on communication with J which ultimately is allowing myself to avoid facing myself because I understand that I am not directing my self expression but rather judging it from a point of allowing right/wrong or good/bad – to direct who I am.

I walk one and equal to myself by not allowing compromise, justifications as to why I do not direct myself.

Within walking this path of self forgiveness I am able to stop and look at what is my self expression.

I support myself by directing me in every moment of breath to walk in self honesty and apply myself in every moment as what is best for all is what is best for me.

Still points I see that requires self forgiveness…

Common Pre-Programmed Errors

Never known much about the CONcept within the mind construct of being a ‘light worker’. Though, had I not began reading the Desteni material and watching their videos when I did, it may have been my next preprogrammed path. I watched a couple of videos today of people sharing their ‘enlightenment’, so I have about as much understanding as seems necessary for now. Interstellar light and love, and energy workers are difficult for me to understand. Their words when I watched their videos sparked a point of confusion within me and a bit of anger. None of what was said made sense.

What I heard them speaking about was what I would refer to as ‘fluff’ talk – what I mean is, it’s just another form of speaking/preaching words that I once ‘thought’ sounded pretty, no substance, no substantial real physical proof for self in what they are believing, only their mind positioning within a belief construct. No self-accountability, nor self-responsibility – nothing actually lived real in self honesty as who they really are. Another mind manifested belief system.
They are reflections of me…They can’t not be…

Common Pre-Programmed Errors

I realized within me a bit of anger but, as I was about to leave a comment, the point of fear within me of not appearing ‘knowledgeable’ about ‘their’ belief system talk was what I accepted and allowed as the reason for not commenting at all.

This further compounded within me the very point within the anger that must be forgiven of self and released. I ‘felt’ defeated within myself – but, worst of all, I allowed myself to be silenced. Existing in the fear of appearing stupid – instead of standing up for all equally as assistance and support for another equally in self honesty as I would assist and support myself.

I can see where I project my anger onto them within my thoughts, it is such an obvious freakin mind game that we are all playing, I Stop.

It brought me to the point I see within myself where in moments, I have played the same game. Winning and/or losing – The Game of Energetic Resonances. Just slightly different mind constructs – ‘board pieces’ within this game we play that we refer to as life – in which we either perceive ourself to be winning or losing. We use different experiences within our mind of pictures and events and we compare them with others who are playing along and we move according to the energy that each pulls us into and as according to what we accept and allow. The words may be phrased somewhat differently, but the deceptions are the same. The more people we involve or that follow us in our game – adds more ‘points’ within our mind within the energies of emotions and feelings – which keeps us locked in as the player and the accepted mindfuck continues to walk as us – humanity.

The energies are always exhausting and life draining to the physical body. An example of this is when we get a zit – we often get a zit because of mental stress that manifests on our face. If a zit can manifest so quickly on the outer physical body – after our participation within our mind of thoughts – where we stress about something that our mind has constructed as a diversion tactic to keep us from facing ourself. Then one must question what the hell is manifesting on the inside of our physical body that we can’t see.

We have created our whole society within this and our enslavement is apparent. The very anger that exists within me toward this, is just part of the game and fuels projections into and as the ongoing patterns of victory and defeat. Either a winning energetic experience or a losing energetic experience results from continued participation. The results from this game within both polarity points further ensures the continuation of this game of enslavement. I Stop.

What we participate in, is what we will experience. Our experience of ourself is what we accept and allow within our participation in our thoughts, our feelings and our emotions. We cycle and recycle. I have proved this to myself, for myself. I stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as if I’m playing a game instead of realizing that all life are equal and one and that many are suffering because of my choices in self dishonesty within thoughts and actions because I have believed that life is either won or lost. I stop the polarity game and direct me here equal and one as all as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel as if I let someone down by not being of assistance and support and instead I realize that this is a process of self realization and I cannot effectively assist another within an equality equation until I can effectively in self honesty assist and support myself.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to judge others beliefs as being worse than the beliefs that I accepted and allowed. Instead I direct me here, as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be a winner instead of realizing that if I’m winning someone has to lose creating a point of polarity. I direct myself here within the principle of equality. No winners – No losers. Equals walking the equation of Life

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to use and abuse another for the sake of my minds perception as being more deserving than another instead of realizing that what I participate in is what I will experience. I stop. I breathe and direct me here within the principle of equality.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I am special because of energetic experiences within pictures and events and memories constructed within my mind. I delete and disengage myself from participation as the mind constructs within the game of winning and losing. I direct me here equal and one as all as life.

I forgive myself as all as one as equal as life.

A call was made, I answered.

Today I went by a small locally owned convenient store to pick up a couple of things and saw that there wasn’t much to be found on the shelves nor in the freezer section. I asked the man behind the counter if he was preparing to close the store and he said no, but that because his business has been so slow that he has not been able to fully stock the shelves which is unfortunately causing him to loose even more business. He said he is barely able to pay the price for renting store space. We discussed how in the past week the price of gasoline has risen twenty cents and that we are forced to pay the price of our own energetic consumptions.

He went on to say how ‘there is a ‘cry’ out there that is not being heard. I agreed and shared about the video that Bernard made recently called ‘Silently we Suffer’, and he agreed. It was obvious the struggle he was carrying within himself and he seemed genuinely grateful for my sharing. I recognized him as making ‘the call’ – where he is asking ‘why this world is the way it is’ and ‘why are we accepting and allowing it‘. I shared a bit about Desteni and suggested he have a look at the website. He listened closely and agreed that an ‘Equal Money System’ is certainly a beginning solution. I thanked him, and as I was leaving he asked again the name of the website and said he was certainly going to visit. A call was made, I answered.

I had one more stop to make to pick up a couple of items that the previous store owner was unable to afford to re-order, and in entering the store, which is a larger corporate owned convenience store the difference was remarkable because of course the shelves were stocked and provided better availability. The difference in the person behind the counter was substantial. She at first didn’t make eye contact as she asked me how I was. I stood there silently, and she was not even aware that I had provided no answer to her routine question. As she finished and I was about to turn to leave she asked me if I was ‘ready’ for Christmas. My reply was, ‘no, I don’t do Christmas’. This caused her to actually make eye contact for the first time and her reply was – ‘I wish I didn’t’. I said, well then, in self-honesty, just stop. The look on her face from such a simple reply was priceless. LOL

I’m realizing the importance of seemingly small moments. How remaining here with myself in breath, having no expectation in the moment is very self-supportive. That was my day today, event-less, yet simple and self-supportive.