Tag Archive | rebirth

Day 211: Processing…

For Context Read: Day 209: ‘The Lump’ Sum of ‘What If’s’

So in a couple of days, I will be having a biopsy taken from an area where I found a lump in my breast. And, so I realize that I really need to investigate and share in writing what’s been going on within me, to document how my mind has been ‘processing’ the new information/ situation that I’m currently walking.,,,

,,,I’m going to stop right here for a moment to ‘acKnowledge’ and Stop the reaction I became aware of as I finished writing that paragraph. The reaction was to immediately stop sharing what I was writing.  I’m familiar with this pattern, and I am committed to continue sharing this point and Direct myself from Reactive Responses to Self RESPONSE-ability.

 Please hear: From Reactive Responses to Self RESPONSE-ability – Part Three: DAY 334 for further Clarity and Specificity.

Continuing,,, So, because of the future ‘biopsy’ I have scheduled – which my mind is using as the reason for how I’ve been experiencing myself – I’m investigating this point of fear, which I’m obviously automatically enslaved to because I’ve seen through my participation and observation how I have defined myself as a reactive response.    It’s like watching myself try and adapt to a new ‘Processing’ System being developed within and as me.

During the day, here’s how it goes, I will access a point where I will through a memory association activate my imagination and within that a specific picture flashes within my mind, where I see myself as kind of floating.monkey on my back

Almost as if I’m waiting on myself. Waiting to catch up to myself meaning to Stop and breathe. The negative feeling experience happens quickly and I experience myself as if I’m being tugged between a negative energy and a  positive energy. A tug-of-war where the tugging initiates waves of FEAR  and then, like a finger pulling the trigger on a loaded gun,,,suddenly,,, Bang!   There I am, Smack dab in a pocket of FEAr.

When that happens, when the trigger has been pulled, I suddenly realize how my physical body is assisting me to remember to STOP participating as I experience a moment of physical weakness which sends a negative energetic charge of doom and gloom throughout my entire physical body, and in that moment, it feels like the MONkEY on my back has just saddled in for a long ride,, until I finally take self-responsibility, I Stop participating, I Breathe.

The Physical Experience where I became weak,  has happened only twice recently, and each time I’ve been able to effectively Stop myself from participating any further. . But I mean,  this is just what I’m aware of,  a reactive response which happens suddenly and unexpectedly and has numerous dimensions – all of which happens in a matter of seconds. Consciousness as our Mind is a MASSive preprogrammed system of reactive responses to self-responsibility instead of the ability to respond instead of reacting.

Thus I’ve been sitting with the fear so to speak, and investigating the common sense answers to my own questions…

When did I begin to accept this particular physical manifested consequense? ( I will share ‘when’ in a future post)

Will the biopsy result be a death sentence?

Will I be here this time next year?

What exactly is it that I really fear?

Do I fear losing my breath? As in taking my last breath… Is the IMage of myself taking my last breath the exact point of participation that is fueling my fear? Because obviously I have no Real idea what it’s  like to take one’s last breath…

I have a memory associated with the fear of not being able to breathe. I once swallowed a couple of aspirins, which dissolved so fast that they somehow went into my windpipe which caused me to not be able to breathe, so my partner had to perform CPR. It took 3 times of chest compressions and I was turning purple when finally, I was able to breathe again…

Continuing…I’m realizing how what I fear is based upon negative and positive energetic experiences within and as Memories and according to what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be through and as them in how I’ve accumulated myself through and as Thoughts/Pictures/Imagination/Backchat/Reactions and,  What are the  Consequences of how I’ve manifested them as here within and as my Physical Body???
processing
As I continue to investigate, I realize  that ‘ve been lying to myself – that what I actually fear is how I have defined myself and sentenced myself to exist as within the same fear that  ‘I thought’ I saw within the eyes of my mother just days before she became deathly ill and died.

I believed I witnessed the exact moment when she gave up on herself, her Life.

What I didn’t realize then that I am realizing now,  is that what I was seeing within her, was a reflection of my own fear  of giving up.

Actually, I was giving myself a glimpse of my own fear of mortality, which is actually fear of taking self-responsibility for myself and for how our entire current world system exists as according to what I’ve accepted and allowed.

For awhile I wanted to give up on myself and any and all parts of this world as myself and I used my mother’s death as a reason to do so…

In doing so, I made many mistakes, including the damage I caused to myself as my Physical Body and the damage to my relationship with my partner – which I valued most and within that how I buried myself beneath self-pity and it’s accepted sorrow… So, again, I am facing the consequences of my decisions and subsequently additionally, facing the fears which were born  when I chose to Not take self-responsibility for myself and our world as myself.

The bottom line here is,  instead of participating in relationship to what automatically comes up within and as my mind, I Commit Myself to Direct myself to develop my self-awareness and move MySelf to Self-Directive Change – rather than the controlled change which I exist as now where I change from Characters and Personalities through my relationships with positive and negative balancing of polarities!  

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Day 155: Oh MY God, I’ve Lost it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear/believe/participate in and as the thoughts: ‘Oh MY God, I’ve Lost it’ – six words that keep popping up within my mind following an image of me lowering my head and slightly rubbing my nose and pausing just as I’m sitting in front of the computer to write, where in that moment, I lose awareness of myself as breath and allowed myself to be distracted with the backchat in my head which caused me to reject myself, thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how in that moment within me, I was rejecting myself within the starting point of self-interest and unknowingly (when I slow myself down I realize what I’m doing) I would hide within myself from me and ultimately manifest intense pain within my physical body in my upper back region.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I manipulate myself where I justify my stuckness as unimportant and act as my own bad referee where I basically sideline myself, isolate myself, and literally remove myself from being the directive principle in self-honesty of and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I exist in and as resistance, my body language morphs into and as the resistance, where I cross my arms in defense and protection from others, and my right hand clutches my left hand,  basically, I hold a position of superiority while existing in and as inferiority, causing pain within my physical body, and lots of it, and secretly, I know within my mind that my physical body is showing me the tell-tale signs of my suppressed state, thus, I stop, I breathe. I commit myself to see, realize and understand that when I slow myself down I am able to move beyond the point of resistance and thus stop the thoughts of and as my mind as the words saying to me: ‘Oh MY God, I’ve Lost it’, because I see, realize and understand how the words are me and represent a point of acceptance of how in the past I’ve allowed myself to sink into and as a resistance which manifests and creates physical pain within and as my back, thus I commit myself to stop what I see, realize and understand is a point of resistance, a sort of blockage of emotions and feelings within and as my physical body,  I breathe, I earth myself here in becoming the directive principle of/as and for me in order to first change myself through self-honesty from the inside out to thus stop resistance, to thus begin to express myself as who I am, to give my all to me through gratefulness for and as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate the amount of self suppression I have existed as, because I see, realize and understand how this Day 155, of me walking the Journey to Life , I realize that I am only now getting started, therefore, I commit myself to see, realize and understand both the magnitude and the simplicity of making the decision to continue writing and applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, because I comprehend how it is only through this Journey that I will ever come close to being who I am, as well as having the opportunity to possibly birth myself as Life from the Physical. I am grateful to/for me as my physical body for supporting me as I walk this Journey and support a World according to what’s best for All.

Join Us!

Day 122: InSIDE Hide

Once in awhile I experience pain around my left side, stomach/groin area which feels kind of like a pulled muscle, but that’s not what it is. I asked Anu for perspective about a month ago and he suggested it was a point of hiding, which made a lot of sense to me. I never investigated the point further, mostly because the pain hadn’t returned. Then today, the pain returned with a vengence. As I began to experience the pain – still in the same area of my physical body – I saw my hiding and I realized that I have always been aware of this point that I exist as, IF/WHEN, I will slow myself down and breathe, and welcome me in from hiding as who I really am as me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide within and as knowledge and information as energy within how I partipate within thoughts, internal conversations, reactions of and as emotions and feelings of/as positive, negative and the neutral of and as enegy experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as someone who is insidious’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in and thus hide within feelings of shame of existing within and as knowledge and information where I hide within what I’ve learned throughout my entire life, and within that how I allow guilt to accumulate from becoming that which I’ve learned to where I become consumed to the point where I elude any chance of ever becoming aquainted with myself, because as such, I’m escaping any understanding of myself within the perception of/as being that of a particular piece of knowledge and information and where within that I forbid myself to question the very nature of myself and thus my own answers elude me, thus, I forgive myself for not realizing how within my ‘insidious hideouts’, I manifest formations of guilt within and as a total memory/character recall of and as my mother – how I saw her reject her physical body in how she existed in hiding within and as fear as knowledge and information – where she would become so full of shame and guilt that she would punish her physical body through smoking and/or over eating – and how I have become and lived as that mind character of entrapment as well.

I forgive myself for not realizing how within the layers of my hide/flesh, I have remained unaware of how the very life substance is drained from me according to and through my participation within and as knowledge and information. Wherein every moment that I accept and allow myself to be and become separate from the words I speak of/as my mind as directed by consciousness within and as energies of/as reactions and feelings and emotions, how in that moment when I am more aware of a thought within my mind than I am of who I am within and as breath as my physical body, is the moment that I become accepting of myself as a system of/as abuse, greed, self-interest and death.

I forgive myself for not realizing that the inner mysteries of me as my physical body will continue to elude me until I slow down, breathe and become willing to commit myself to exploring and investigating myself from the inside out within self-honesty, no matter how ‘insidious’ who I am appears to be, for it is within my perception of ‘the ugly’ that I will release my perception of ‘the pretty’ – where the ‘insidious’ of and as that which I’ve come to accept as the perception of myself within and as self-interest exists only according to knowledge and information.

I forgive myself for not realizing that when I am hiding within program manifestations of and as knowlendge and information that I am actually accepting and allowing me as my physical body to form strings of tension wherein I am actually forming patterns of degenerations within my physical body where I’m not breathing effectively and thus I manifest damage within and unto my internal organs and flesh creating pain within and as my physical body/flesh and bone.

I forgive myself for not realizing the degree of fear I have with regards to facing myself in self-honesty because I have hidden within knowledge and information in/as shame and guilt and believed that I was that.


I forgive myself for not realizing that I fear my perception that if I were to become completely self-honest that others may not like me, instead of realizing that it is only myself that I am actually fearing disappointing.

I commit myself to comprehending that the DIS in APPOINT only exists within and as the pain in ignoring the Point of Self within Forgiving self in/as Self-honesty.

I commit myself to let go of and forgive who I am as knowledge and information.

I commit myself to not fear and shame that which I’ve accepted and allowed as who I am and to instead forgive and realign and redesign myself through self-corrective application.

I commit myself to STOP imprinting my Physical body and Physical reality with my mind according to knowledge and information.

I commit myself to get to know the details and specifics of my Human Physical body equal to and one with who I am as my Human Physical body.

I commit myself to embrace who I am as my Physical body within and as self-honesty.

I forgive myself for not realizing that the actual real rebirth of Self as Life, can and will only manifest within and as Self-honesty, from within and as my Physical body and from and of this Physical existence, Thus, I commit myself to realizing that the actual rebirth of self as Life can and will only manifest within and as Self-honesty from within and as me as my Physical body and from and of this Physical existence.

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that Firstly the Person in the Journey to Life must become Equal to the Mind through being able to Not Participate in the Thoughts that Arise ALL the Time, and Be Here Breathing – before the Task can be taken on to Remove the Programs in the Flesh to such a degree that eventually the Flesh will be Purified and the Person will become, in fact, the Living Flesh – and be able to Have Any Relationship or form in the Flesh without it Being the Dominant Control as Consciousness, and the Person will be in Fact the Dominion of the Flesh, with the Flesh itself Determining in Every Breath the Actuality of Life Directed, and Be Here as Life – and thus at the Death, the Person will Cross the Divide as Life and Be Everywhere as Here, Always. In this it must be Realized How Time and Flesh Functions and that the Process of First becoming Equal to the Mind and Flesh before Directive Life will be here as Self, as Principle, as Equal, will take a minimum of 7 Years of Daily Application IN EVERY Breath, but more Likely take 14 years due to the Many Times that the Directive Will will Fall to the Current Dominion of the Programs that were allowed to Become the Flesh as the Physical Mind.” ~ Bernard Poolman

Day 110: Regretfully Yours

A couple of times today I experienced nausea and as I looked within myself, I saw how I was revolving around a certain point. That point being regret. I was regretting my participating in/as thoughts and emotions/reaction – where a few days ago, (yes, a few days ago), I disagreed with, and questioned some comments made by my fellow destonians. Essentially, I had become the ‘how can I make it better’ memory/character of/as my mind, and as such, I had also become the ‘putting off facing the point’ character. As the point is and has always been, only me that I’m facing. Because, I see, realize and understand how the point was Not really about what ‘she said’ and/or ‘they said’, it is the point of facing me as my Ego. Thus, the following self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep thoughts that generated reactions within a specific moment revolving around within me, all the while reasoning within myself of ways / means to, make it better – where I project / fantasize about how I’m going to ‘make it better in the future’ – instead of realizing that this is not solving, directing and/or stopping my initial reaction point – but actually only suppressing it to the point of allowing it (me as Ego), to take the stage in unexpected moments for me to face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest nausea within and as me as my physical body as I accepted and allowed myself to revolve around this point in time as me avoiding facing me as who I am as Ego and thus regret – whereas I see, realize and understand that if I had slowed myself down and breathed – I would have seen within the moment how/what I was accepting and allowing myself to exist as in/as Ego.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to walk around in the experience of shame and sorrow because I was ashamed of myself for what I have said which has resulted in me experiencing myself within thoughts and emotions of regret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience regret because I found myself having a difficult time communicating my point with another because I was afraid of their response because I feared rejection and/or judgment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the experience of myself as regret to be how I exist as and not allowing myself to move beyond regret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how regret is the foundation of depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not honour another as me within the actual moment where I experienced the thought/energy reaction – to stand equal and one in respect and consideration – where I regard the process of another and thus, stop the reaction within myself and confront it directly as myself.

I forgive myself that I hadn’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand how when I accept and allow internal conflict within me as my physical body through participating within it as though it is me, as who I really am, that I am accepting and allowing it to exist within and as my physical world/reality/existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my relationship towards another within the starting point of me as Ego – I Stop. I Breathe.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that in accepting and allowing myself to react in a moment within thought and energy, instead of taking self-responsibility in the moment – I am implying that the thought and energy is more important / powerful than my physical reality – than my relationship with myself as my physical body/reality – in how I stand within who I am and my relationship with others and within my world – thus I stop. I Breathe. I commit myself to make a decision within who I am to live as who I am in self-responsibility in and as every breath and create/manifest a world where together with others – equal to and one as life we express and exist according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to slow myself down and breathe and to Stop myself from existing within and as Ego.

I commit myself to stop allowing conflict within and as me as my physical body and/or my world of and as me, because I see, realize and understand how within such self acceptance and allowance, is how our world becomes a life of conflict, internally and externally due to our accepting and allowing the existence, participation and so the definition of ourselves as conflict.

I commit myself to show how no one is ever able to reject and/or judge me except me.

I commit myself to walking with another here in physical agreement in/as honouring ourselves and each other to assist and support each other in humbleness and unconditionality to thus expand together as a group in establishing/creating better selves, thus a better world according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to take responsibility for me in the moment of reaction as thought and energy as me, because I see, realize and understand how in accepting such a reaction of thought and energy allows manifested consequences created within and as this world/reality/existence, thus, I commit myself to see, realize and understand how everything from the greater to the smaller defines who we are internally and externally.

I commit myself to be and become me in awareness of me as who I am as my physical body and as our physical reality, to thus as a group walk here as breath in support of a world/money system according to what’s best for All.

Day 91: Do Gooders Hell

Today, I reacted with ‘good intentions‘ while I was defending my grandchildren. I saw how, in my attempt to make a difference in how parents react to their children – I failed, because my starting point was that of the limitation/religious system, consisting of ‘I’m not powerful enough to make a difference in this world’. Fortunately, the pain between my shoulder blades assisted me to see how stiff I was becoming as I testified within the programmed sentencing I was accepting and allowing myself as. Thus, I quickly stopped myself, breathed, forgave myself and corrected myself in the moment. Sharing here further self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in/as ‘good intentions’ – where I saw myself as I testified within starting point of ‘not being powerful enough to make a difference in this world’, and within that, I forgive myself for how I used my physical body as the point I was enforcing in how I pushed my chest out slightly in a false sense of CONfidence all the while my shoulders asked for my awareness as them as I sought to exist on the outside in polarity to how I was existing on the inside.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become, ‘Testified = see stif die = zombiefied, wherein I knew that me as my physical body felt uncomfortable, yet there was an automated resistance because I ‘wanted’ to make a difference even though I already realize that it’s not about making a difference in this word – it is to Stop EVERYTHING, so that nothing of this world and what humanity has accepted and allowed will remain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be enslaved to ‘wanting to do good‘ and/or ‘doing something with good intentions’, because within that as the ‘wanting to make a difference in this world’, is the point where nothing happens, because nothing changes and no difference is made, thus we fail – because our starting point is not as who we are as life as oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid looking at my intentions – which I now see, realize and understand how from my starting point of being good they served only a point of self preservation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘perceive’ how others expect me to be, where within those expectations, I’m aware of how my responsibility towards various people constitutes my social relationships/interactions/behaviours whereas I become various characters/personalities in order to fulfill how I perceive within my mind that others are expecting me to be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore my shoulders when I knew they were asking for me to be aware of and assist them through and as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself as my physical body to such a degree that I manifest stiffness and pain in and as it.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how ‘Good intentions’ actually pave the road to hell – thus, I commit myself to live by example and focus on myself first, standing one and equal and assisting and supporting others the same as I assist and support myself through self-forgiveness and self-honesty.

I commit myself to stop reacting within the starting point of the limitation/religious system consisting of ‘I’m not powerful enough to make a difference in this world’, because I see, realize and understand that it is Not about making a difference in this world – it is about stopping what is here as our current world/money systems and to support a world/money system according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that there’s nothing I can do ‘out there’ – that it’s in here in every moment, where through self-forgiveness and in self-honesty that I stop me as my mind and apply self-corrective application and align myself in/as oneness and equality.

I commit myself to stop existing according to how I ‘perceive’ others expect me exist, where I constitute my social relationships and my interactions accordingly – instead I breathe and remain stable, directing me in self-honesty according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to taking responsibility for me as my physical body.

I commit myself to taking responsibility for our physical/reality/world/existence.

I commit myself to stop living intentions because I see, realize and understand how an intention is not yet here as me and thus is only me trying, which is actually me failing because in that I separate myself from my words, thus I see, realize and understand that I am life and as life I am that which I participate within and as, thus, I commit myself to redefine and live the words I choose according to what’s best for All.

(Please read Heaven’s Blog with regards to:How the World will Never Change – Day 32)

Day 46: The Devil and The Angel On My Shoulder

Today my partner and I had to spend most of our day in the city. At the last moment we decided to stop for a salad at a Deli we’ve not been to in 3 months, even though it’s always been a favorite place of ours to eat. The Deli sits atop about 30 concrete steps and as I reached the top and entered the Deli, I became aware of how I was having a negative energetic experience of myself.

Immediately I began to ask myself what thought was I in that I was allowing my mind to be, because I’ve proved to myself through lessons in Desteni I Process that participation in thought, equals the direction of ones energy.

So as I walked past the table where we sat the last time we were there, I realized how I saw myself as actually walking my past as my future in that moment. I then realized how within myself, I was pretending to not see and understand how I was confronting myself, all the while actually knowing exactly what was going on within me.

I made my way to the counter and lost breath inmyself so my partner assisted in ordering for me as I made an excuse to go to the restroom. When I entered the facility I noticed an experience of movement within my solar plexus as well as an odd anxiety and I was strangely aware of the fact that I was resisting to face that which I feared within what I already knew.


I also realized something interesting in that my fear was talking to me as my secret mind, giving me reasons through rapid thoughts for how and why I was experiencing myself, and at that point, I just stood there, still, and focused on my breathing.

In less than a minute I made my way out of the restroom and slowly fixed my salad when I remembered an interview by Anu that I hadn’t heard yet called, “Reptilians – My fear companion – Part 44”, and, I was grateful I had my MP3 player with me because I was ready to hear it during our drive home. As it turned out, the interview, was the perfect assistance.

My partner and I sat down and began to eat and as we began to talk, I noticed how what my partner was saying seemed to be going on and on, and within my solar plexus was a rising of what was an emotional desire to burst into tears. That was actually the very support I required to shake me up because I rarely experience myself anymore within such a reaction.
I saw how the point was laid out before me and I knew that what was happening was definitely a self-created pattern of/as an emotional reaction, and I knew that I had to stop it.

And that’s what I did, I breathed and directed myself to investigate, and I asked myself if the fear I was existing as was actually serving me in any way whatsoever? NO!

I realized then, how, the last time we had eaten at the Deli was 9 days before my brother died. It was also when I was physically sick as well, and I had experienced a similar anxiety during our visit to the Deli that day because of me existing within and as fear of loss/death. Exposing the fear, and sharing with my partner my realization and self-forgiveness, assisted my physical body to release from anxiety within.

Join us and prove for yourself who you are walking the Journey to Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a unconscious thought pattern within a mind construct/pattern of anxiety creating an energetic experience of myself where thought participation equals the direction of/as energetic polarities of good/bad, positive/negative and right/wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk past myself as who I am as breath, as I pretended to not know who I am because of the fear of facing my knowing in the detail of what I exist of/as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid going into the details of my life and history and walking into my mind as a consciousness system because I fear what I’ve deliberately hid from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an unconscious emotional reaction/memory/pattern manifestation in my physical body as energy that is intertwined within the mind as well as the physical, where fear is the devil and the angel on one’s shoulder. (For further perspective download @ Eqafe: “Reptilians – My fear companion – Part 44“)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue borrowing tomorrow within a mind set living in fear of the future – instead of realizing that anything to do with the future exist within the point of manipulating and controlling the human.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how fear is so taxing that one doesn’t want to move themselves outside their current familiar fear based comfort zone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the emotional feeling energy in/as ‘fear of loss’ – instead of realizing that one is already experiencing ‘loss of self’ lived in fear of and as a mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize that to justify our behaviour patterns gives us the cause for our fears.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to breathe life into bullshit quotes such as: “We never understand how little we need in this world until we know the loss of it” – which actually projects us to live out our fate within a world in polarity where there are the ‘Haves’ and the ‘Have Nots’ – instead of standing together as a group in support of a system accepting of and as all living beings.

I commit myself to comprehend and stand in taking self-responsibility in self-honesty for who I am within what I’ve accepted and allowed as my actions and creations as self, where I will walk in and as an ability to respond to my environment and society, and hold them equal and one to and as an expression of/as self supporting a world according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to supporting a system of Equality where the greatest freedom is the greatest choice of/in giving the quality of life to/for All Life, according to what’s best for all.

Please Read The following Blogs for further perspective and assistance regarding Angels, Devils, Heaven & Hell and Creation as Life

Heaven’s Journey to Life – DAY 7: What has ‘Life’ Become?

Heaven’s Journey to Life – DAY 9: I Am War

Heaven’s Journey to Life – As Within = So Without: DAY 12

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 3: Resistance to Change

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 5: In the Beginning was God

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 11: Demonic and Angelic Possession

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 15: Who am I? Prisoner of the Mind?

Day 36: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

Part 2 of Day 35: Under the ‘In-flu-ence’

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” ~Friedrich Nietzche

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that hardship, pain and suffering will make us stronger which is actually suggested through stories from the bible – instead of realizing that to believe that life is about living in hardship, pain and suffering is to continue the enslavement of the mind – and an excellent reminder of why I made the decision to face myself through self-forgiveness and to in self-honesty – Stop the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within fear and self-interest based upon people in my life and/or things in my life that I have feared losing the most.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed within my mind within the memories that I’ve had with regards to my brother/sister/mother, because I didn’t want to face the point of them actually being gone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of my brother/sister/mother within my mind rather than face what it means that they no longer exist within this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memories as a defense and protection mechanism where the greatest fear that the memory protect of the person in my mind is who am I alone with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an internal experience within myself with my mind where I go into mourning in relation to the person in my life who has died thus creating a relationship with them in mind memories, and then become emotional as mourning because of the fear of being alone with myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am only not able to change that which I believe I can’t change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing a safe comfortable feeling within the cushy idea of myself as part of a middle class American family, which wasn’t anything great, but yet provided the perfect backdrop for the continued enslavement of my mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to waste even one more minute within a place of mourning – instead of realizing that the deliberate abuse of others – where one seek at all cost to have more than another must stop – thus at this point, the only solution for those that don’t and/or won’t stand up in support for a system to bring an end to All suffering, is the fact that we’re all equal in the fact that we die – thus death is the one thing that assists in sorting out the mess of inequality existing within our world.

Desteni Farm

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my own limitations within memories, emotions and feelings, and is the reason why within my children lies the future of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use feelings in self-interest as memories/personalities so to accept my self-interest as more important than what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that which is here as what we as a humanity have accepted and allowed in our abusive nature through comparison, competition, ego and greed, where we have taken instead of given, robbed of life instead of standing up as life, and where we have taken for granted the quantity of life provided here on earth in our wanting/seeking to have more than our neighbor.

I commit myself to making peace with the fact that the beings that once were my mom/sister and brother no longer exist within this physical reality.

I commit myself to stopping my accepted point of limitation in and as mourning and making peace within myself with death.

I commit myself to daily self-forgiveness in stopping who I’ve been in self-interest and thus assisting in stopping our self-interest driven current world/money system.

I commit myself to supporting a System of Equal Education for All where Life is an understanding within living where self realizes that – Life is Not about living according to “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” – Life is about supporting thy neighbor as thyself in committing thyself to standing equal and one to all in absolute unconditionally as Life.

I commit myself to realizing that self-forgiveness is only real when I change me as I forgive.

“I commit myself to walk the 7 Year Process day by day as a guide and example for those that would dare to return to Life.

I commit myself to challenge all knowledge and information that is not best for all Life and to establish and participate in research to investigate ALL things AGAIN and to ONLY KEEP what is best for ALL LIFE always.

I commit myself to remind man that Earth is where it will be established – who each one really IS – Life as the Group Life, or Ego as Loner that ABUSE.” ~ Bernard Poolman ~ Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 38: Rebirthing as Life