Tag Archive | 7 year process

Day 257: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Breast Cancer Awareness Month – Day 34

October kicks off with something called ‘The National Breast Cancer Awareness Month’ (NBCAM), which is basically where numerous public service organizations, the medical establishment and government agencies come together to promote breast cancer awareness. Now this whole thing began more than 25 years ago when the National Cancer Institute (NCI) began to raise money to fund their seemingly never ending research into Cancer.

“The Establishment politicians passed legislation to declare WAR upon CANCER. Thus, they went to Fort Detrick and took down the U.S. Army Chemical and Biological Warfare department SIGN. They then placed two signs on the front gate of the facility: on the left, NATIONAL CANCER INSTITUTE (NCI), and on the right, WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION (WHO). This was and is properly ballyhooed by the Establishment Media, and financed to the tune of several hundred Billion Dollars yearly from American taxpayers.” Dr. William Donald Kelley, D.D.S., M.S.

breast cancer aawarenessThe deception runs deep so, I suggest this October, as we begin Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we educate ourselves about what it is we’re actually supporting. I mean, has it come to our awareness as to how much money the elite officials of these organizations earn yearly?

How much of the money raised goes to assist those who actually have cancer? Very little…And, Is the research these funded corporations claim they are doing, has it made any real difference in the Prevention of Cancer? The fact is, the cost of prevention has not even brought about a decrease in Cancer.

In fact, the odds of who will get cancer now, compared to 25 years ago, has actually increased to almost 1 in every 2 people. At the moment, my family is an example of the reality of those facts because in April of this year, (2013), I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Then just 2 weeks ago my cousin who’s in her early 40’s, was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. And then just two weeks later, my aunt who’s in her early 70’s, (the mother of my cousin who has thyroid cancer), she was just diagnosed with cancer in both her breasts.  That’s 3 family members who all in the same year have now been diagnosed with Cancer.

So Cancer,  is on the increase. Yet strangely enough we continue to fund the research and accept the current established treatment for Cancer the same way we’ve always done. Not realizing that we’re living the consequences of those decisions and seeing an increase in Cancer.

I mean, to hell with pink.   The statistics should be a red flag for us to question whether or not we’ve reached any Real point of Awareness about how and why our Physical body gets Cancer. So, what is going on within Our Society and Why is Cancer on the increase?

We will find the answer to our question as we take a closer look at the organizations whose research we’re currently funding. In this we can know who is making money off of people getting cancer?

The fact is, no one is providing a solution to Cancer that can be equally available and given to everyone according to what’s best for all.

We’re not yet aware of how much of what we eat and breathe and consume – how All of That – contributes to how our body processes and provides for itself. It’s time we asked how is our consumer-money-drivin lives creating the very disease everyone is scared as hell to be diagnosed with.

Alright so the fact is, we’ve got to Educate ourselves about how and why these organizations are being supported when the facts prove that they are part of the problem, instead of the solution.

“In short, the cancer victims of today face the Establishment enemy within, who are relentless and determined to Plunder and Kill you at any cost. ‘False Hope’ is not my objective. To be realistic, we have two enemies, CANCER and the ESTABLISHMENT. 

There will never be a CURE for Cancer until the Establishment can accomplish their objectives by permitting it. Their primary goals are money and control. What big conglomerate will get the blessings of the Big Establishment? Nothing happens on the world scene that is not planned and designed by The Big Establishment.” Dr. William Donald Kelley, D.D.S., M.S.

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Suggest The Following:

Charity and Activism – why is it a Capitalistic Scheme – Overview – Day 293 

Day 100 – The REAL Veracity of Philanthropy

Day 257: Charity – Celebration of Human Selfishness

Day 81 Crime’s Journey to Life – Charity as Entertainment

Day 158: Prevention is the Best Cure

157. Wishing Well as Self Interest

287. You get Happy with your Paycheck?

Day 79: Charity will not end Poverty

Day 20: The Insanity of Economics – Food Aid Does Not Help the Poor

2012 – Stop Suppression to Stop Possession: Dare to Share 

Human Chains

Day 350: A Living Income Guaranteed will End Charity – for Real

Day 148: Swopping Places

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Day 39: Is Charity Greed?

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that charity has been abused by the corporations to promote their products and distribute them to the poor – while the corporation, at the same time, benefit from tax benefits which place more pressure on the community at large with tax requirements to meet the budgets of a failed system.

I commit myself to show that charity is a criminal act that condemns the poor to a Life of failure and early death because the charitable will not give up their control and will justify the abuse through supporting a failed system in spite of the clear certainty that the system has failed.

I commit myself to question the integrity of activists, and to remind activists that activism should be about a new world system that is best for all life always, and that any activist that cannot stand for what is best, is in fact only an extension of the system of greed that has failed Life in every way.” Bernard Poolman

Day 255: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – The Energy of Reward – Day 33

I’m not dead yet, but me as my mind thinks I might as well be. What is that? What is this weekly pattern inside my head that wants me to pay attention to such nonsense when it isn’t even real? This I’ve identified as the energy of reward and it’s very deceptive.  It goes like this,,,

Today my partner called to say that he’s been invited to a supper this evening as sort of a thank you for his years of donating blood. At least I’m pretty sure that’s what the dinner is for. The fact is, when I heard that he wouldn’t be home till much later than normal, I felt this rush of energy surge through the center of me. It was like the energy of reward with a bizarre twist on myself as if to say ‘I told you so’. And, within my secret mind all I could hear was, ‘but, what about me’?

Fortunately I’ve been walking the Desteni I Process which has assisted me to identify obsessive patterns and with the tools I’ve learned I can stop myself as who I am as my mind. The problem is, or rather the thing is, I have to be consistent in directing myself because me as my mind doesn’t really want to stop participating in the energy of reward.

Artwork by: Matti Freeman
system error Ok so continuing… When my partner said he’d be late, I became aware of the thoughts of, ‘what about me’? And then I started to cry but quickly stopped and breathed.

So instead of participating in thoughts in my head, I began to share with my partner about how I was experiencing myself. How I’m in a pattern where in my mind, ‘I feel like I get No human contact/interaction’. How by the time my partner gets home from work, he’s ‘all talked out’. How at the end of the day I’m left here waiting/wanting,,, wait

Did I just hear myself? I had to stop. I could hear myself and in my physical body I became extremely uncomfortable. I began to see how my words, my tonality, everything about who I was acting as, just didn’t fit anymore as who I am willing to be…

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become the energy of reward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself that I must have others in my life for my own selfish entertainment, as a way to validate myself because that’s what keeps me from seeing who and what I’m accepting and allowing myself to be and become as the energy of reward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as my mind take control of me to such a degree that if I don’t get an energetic charge through/as the energy of reward as validation coming from others, then I become angry and ill willed toward myself and others as myself

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be an energy seeker of rewards.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I as my mind must behave in/as an energetic high or low and if and when I ‘feel’ inside my mind that I’m not getting my specific reward then I will secretly plot against myself in an attempt to obtain the reward.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see the insanity in believing myself as my mind seeking to be rewarded and when I don’t receive my reward by way of entertainment and/or approval of others, then me as my mind will tell myself to give up, it’s not worth it.  However, I see, realize and understand that these are just thoughts seeking energy and that I as the Directive Principle of Me, as who I Am as Life, have the ability to Stop myself as them, and to Direct myself according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed life as I live it to become a routine,  wherein I seek to maintain an energetic reward as a personality and/or character of/as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid facing who I really am through buying into a reward system which I use to hide from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as an alternate reality within my mind where I compete with and manipulate myself and others just for the energy of reward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts of ‘I can’t do this treatment plan for cancer anymore’ and within that for believing myself as being depressed and/or feeling sorry for myself, because I see, realize and understand that when I breathe and stop participating in such thought patterns, I am able to be here with myself and with what is real as my Physical body and Physical reality, and within that I see, realize and understand that there is nowhere to be except here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the most important thing about life in that when who I am as my mind shows up, nothing and no one else matters except me, me, me, and as that I harbor an unidentified anger and aggression/suppression towards myself for ignoring how others are experiencing themselves as abused within our current world/money system and for the fear I accept and allow within myself when I fear seeing the abuse and suffering within our world.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself as my mind throwing a silent tantrum within myself as I seek for an energetic reward, where I tell myself that my cancer treatment plan isn’t worth it, I Stop, I Breathe. I see, realize and understand that I have removed from myself the energetic rewards that I have become accustomed to through foods and/or drugs and/or entertainment, thus, me as my mind doesn’t know what to do without them, therefore, I see, realize and understand that this Is a pattern that I can re-design out of myself thus,  I commit myself to walk the self correction.

I commit myself to change my morning routine to where I am able to be more flexable within and as my Physical reality.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself as my mind wanting to ‘feel sorry for myself’ I Stop, I Breathe.  I see, realize and understand that no matter where I am, I am Here. Thus I Commit myself to walk the self corrective application of re-designing myself free from the engergy of reward and to instead Direct myself within the Principle of What’s Best for All.

I commit myself to Stop who I am as a needy energy seeker of rewards.

I commit myself to stop how I separate myself from others and my world through competition/reward, money and greed.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that I am Not dead yet, that I am breathing, that I Am able and willing to stop who I am as my mind through breathing and becoming the Self Directive principle of me as all as one as equal.

I Commit myself to Stop the war within myself first so to Stop the war that exists within and as and between us each other.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand how the war I wage within myself is the same as the war I see that exists without – within our world against each other.

I Commit myself to continue this Journey to Physical Wellness, to Stop the Beast as breast cancer as I continue my Journey to Life.

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“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as a consumer within my mind, scheming and planning the business of my life to make sure I get as many rewards as possible to show that I have a profitable life, regardless how it would impact my fellow humans or Life on Earth in general.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regard my business as happiness goals as the only interest myself must be busy with to make sure I have a rewarding life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have refused to see that I have separated myself from the business of Life by regarding Life only in terms of the Mind as the primary goals as the interest of self that must be rewarded to feel and experience value.

I commit myself to show that happiness is in fact a mental social disease of self-interest that makes war on Life through REWARDS.

I commit myself to train that which is life to be equal to the mind-self to thusly take directive principle and restore Life to Earth in every way.

I commit myself to explain the machine as the mind to such specificity that the Truth of this imposter with its spawn as Consciousness can be seen for what it is.

I commit myself to restore compassion for Life on Earth where the ones with Creator ability will protect those with a lesser ability as a Matter of Life!” Bernard Poolman

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  Suggested blogs to follow:

Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

&

Activist’s Journey To Life

Day 164: Innerspace

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated within myself where within me as my physical body I feel as if I’m experiencing myself as having to push myself through the great barrier reef of suppressed self-judgment and emotions which I have attached a definition of myself to which reads failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when within my mind I hear, ‘suck it up and ignore the pain within yourself’, to not realize that I’m manipulating and justifying who I am so much so that I reach a point of the grandest of self illusions -where I’ve got no clue who and/or what character or personality will show up as me when I stand before friends and family who know me best in how I’ve always pretended to be what I perceive they expect me to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within my mind exist as crooked, dishonest and basically someone who has been full of shit in how I become angry towards my children and my partner, and then have the nerve to wonder why I have pain in and as my physical body which in itself feels crooked with kinks in it, and within that,  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how through the relationships I have with my children and my partner, I have suppressed myself in and as guilt, shame and regret and where I direct myself as such through and as emotions inward unto me as my physical body which causes within me a sense of loss which I then define myself as in fear of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I’m not able to forgive me for the mother I have been in how I raised my children in and as self-interest, fear and greed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when experiencing pain within and as my physical body to participate in the thought, ‘I can’t do this, it’s to painful’.

When and as I see myself go into fear where I tighten up and suppress myself and become characters and personalities that I see, realize and understand compound into and manifest systems within me as my physical body – I stop and I breathe. I commit myself to me as my physical body and this physical reality first and foremost to thus begin to be a living example of life according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to forgiving me for the definition I have lived of myself as,  ‘a mom who failed her children’, and to redefine myself according to me as a mom breathing and walking here with both feet on the ground walking in and as self-honesty.

I commit myself to stop going emotionally bankrupt within and as my mind where I suppress within me raging systems of and consciousness as shame, regret and fear of loss.

I commit myself to forgive myself for the guilt I’ve existed as of not being the mother to my children that gives way to allow their child to express who they may become as life according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to accept the breath of life unto and as all of me as my physical body.

“I commit myself to remind each one that we are all guests on Earth and we have abused the hospitality of Earth and created an Asylum and Hospital out of Earth searching for Feelings of energy in Self-interest. Earth will no longer tolerate the abuse and we as Humanity will now face our final our within which each one must decide who The I will be, Life or Self Interest. There is no one that can deny that deep inside this hour has always been expected.” ~ Bernard Poolman

Day 156: I Made my Mind up a Long Time Ago

Yesterday I had to go to the Doctor for assistance for the extreme pain I’ve been experiencing in my upper back. I didn’t want to go, but I knew that I had to utilize what is available as a bridge to assist me as my physical body.

After examining me the Doctor began to explain to me about the medicine he was going to prescribe for me, as well as the ‘long term plan’ which may involve physical therapy.

I quickly saw how I became defensive and energy swirled around me like a protective force field. I began to explain to him that if I have to take pain pills that I prefer they be ones that I know I can physically tolerate, and I went on to say: “it just makes more sense, no offense of course.”

LOL, Well, he didn’t take kindly to what I said and I began to see how his eyes – which were looking directly at me – how they began to shift from side to side, first to the left then to the right and then back to the left and then back to the right again, shifting, shifting. My questioning his decision got him to thinking and the proof that that wasn’t a good thing was as clear as the frozen frown on his face that he couldn’t seem to shake.

I knew that I didn’t really want to have to take medicine, but I also knew that at the moment, I required some relief and the medicine is only a temporary solution. I had the thought: “I know what’s best for my physical body”!   However, I didn’t say that out loud because it was obvious he was still processing my previous words.


It was in that moment that I realized something and I decided at that point to shut the hell up, breathe and ask him to tell me more about the medicine he wanted to prescribe for me.

What I realized was, before I ever walked into his office, I had prepared myself  to instigate my own plan of action according to what and how I had previously made my mind up long before I arrived for my appointment – before he’d even had a chance to examine me.

See. I have never liked the fact that a Doctor, or anyone for that matter, have the authority and a “so-called-right”, according to the rules of the Matrix, to determine the best treatment plan for me – to take away my responsibility for me as my physical body.

I mean, it’s my physical body even though I’ve not actually been very responsible for and as it.   Seriously though,  there is NO Free Will and we have very little to do with the decision making processes within our world.   Free Will…   What a Joke…

Moving on… I realized that I reacted rather catty towards him and that I could have and should have directed myself in a stable manner, and I shared that with him. He immediately looked me in the eyes again and repeated his suggestions for my treatment.

The whole experience assisted me to realize how important it is that I redefine who I am within the meaning of  the words: “I Made my Mind up a Long Time Ago”.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become defensive where I experience myself in and as energy swirling around myself like a protective force field within a memory of my past, thus, I stop. I breathe. I see, realize and understand that who I was 5 years ago is no longer who I am today and as I continue to walk the Journey to Life, I have proven to myself how self can and will change through writing, applying self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, thus, I commit myself to show how energy experience is the result of accepting myself to be directed of and as my ego as I’ve existed in my past, thus, I see, realize and understand how energy is ego as my past which has to end at death as it is our mind as consciousness, therefore,  I commit myself to direct myself as my mind to stop energetic ego experiences and to walk according to what’s best for all – to thus then prove that the past is over.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a character of and as my mind where I exist in a make belief story within my mind made up about who and how I’m going to behave and experience myself within a given moment long before the moment is actually here and where within my secret mind, I participate in and as judgment and expectations that someone (in this case my Doctor) will also participate along with me in my make belief story, and when they don’t, I unleash a strong reaction of dislike onto them, which is actually an outflow of a reaction that I suppress deep within me with regards to our current world/money system, yet my suppression is indirectly imposed upon and implying that they ( in this case my Doctor), are the cause/source for/of my reaction of/as dislike and frustration to/toward what I realize is a cruel, corrupt and unjust world/money system.

I commit myself to stop existing as a character where I make up within my mind who I will be and what I’m going to say within a given moment before the actual moment is even here.

When and as I see myself talking to myself inside my head pre-planning what to say and or do with regards to an upcoming appointment, I stop. I breathe. I realize that in doing so I am actually reacting to my own reactions in fear of what may or may not happen thus, I commit myself to slow myself down and remain aware of who I am within this moment of breath.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project anger onto others according to a reaction from within myself which is actually to/toward our current world/money system, and where I will take that a step further insofar as to preplan for myself a ‘line of defense’ so that I’ll ‘know my lines’ and know just how to act so when the moment arrives, all I have to do is be the stand-in, on autopilot, and become who I’ve already constructed myself to be within my mind, and within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry if my made up mind script is not welcomed by and played out by/as someone that I perceived will play the supporting role in my illusion in order to help me bring to life my perception of happiness within a world full of pain turned into a make belief story that I Made up within my Mind a Long Time Ago.

I commit myself to stop projecting anger onto others according to a reaction within myself  where I am misdirecting my frustration of our money system onto my present moment and to instead breathe and remain aware of who I am within this moment here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I make my mind up about someone and/or something according to a past experience of myself in a memory where I lost control of myself and then suppressed the experience as a memory which I believed I had to hide in order to protect my self shame, thus I devised a script for myself as a protection mechanism – like putting up an energetic wall all around me – where I can hide and keep to myself the make belief story within my mind where I deceive myself into believing that I’m coming out aHEAD within what is nothing but an illusion of control thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as that which I made up within my mind about myself a long time ago in and as fear in an attempt to avoid facing all of me and my responsibility to all that is here.

I commit myself to stop making my mind up about people, places and things as a way of setting myself up to be and become automated within my world as a way of avoiding facing who I am within what and how our world exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am as my past rules who I will always be, thus, I justify my deceptive behavior in an attempt to set myself up to experience energetic outflows where the results of who I am  remain the same with no change because I made up my mind about myself a long time ago when and as I believed the make belief story within my mind as consciousness that I couldn’t and/or wouldn’t be worthy of and as life itself.

I stop. I Breathe.

to be continued

Day 141: Making sense out of a system that doesn’t make sense

Along with pain and not physically feeling well from my recent dental appointments, which are still ongoing. I wasn’t prepared to be catapulted into the jaws of our current money system. Where every day this past week, it’s like I’ve been chewed up and spit out by a system that couldn’t care less if I survive it or if I end up on the side of the road bleeding to death. What I’ve realized, is that Money still has the power to change me, and, I realize that I am responsible for the power that I have given to a money system that supports abuse and profit over the life of those living within it. As a way of protecting myself, ‘as my mind’, I see how I’ve become nonchalant in my attitude – another character I’ve become to protect myself from myself. Thus, the following Self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a character of/as my mind who is nonchalant towards others and their Quest to survive because I got lost once again in my own self-interest within energetic wants, needs and desires within a money system that is anything but forgiving and within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself as willing to stand up for all living beings when in fact I’ve only begun to understand what standing up for and as All living beings really means in terms of what I must be willing to give up and stop as who I am and what I’ve accepted and allowed in order to actually have an impact on bringing about a world according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become hardened and uncaring as a way of giving myself a false sense of perceiving myself as protected within a money system that thrives on taking instead of giving, thus, I commit myself to stop, to breathe and stop fearing the future and to remain here in this moment and face who I am in self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel nonchalant toward the fears of others in their attempt to make sense of what we have All accepted and allowed within our world, therefore, I commit myself to stop who I am as fear and to direct myself to do unto others as I would like done unto me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move myself according to the energy I receive according to how much money I have and for how I have incorporated that as who I am within how I move myself as my physical body and within my physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and make sense within a world/money system that doesn’t make sense within all the abuse it exists as, thus, I stop, I breathe, I direct myself to slow down and face who I am within all that is here, to thus, assist and support a system which will support all life according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted, allowed, and supported a world/money system that generates fear and stress in our day to day living where living isn’t living at all really only struggling to just survive, thus, I commit myself to show how with Equal Money day to day living will be enjoyable and stress free because everyone’s day to day necessities will be given to everybody equally.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the changes that must be made in order to change our world to one that is supportive of and as all living beings, thus, I commit myself to show how it makes more sense to ensure that all living beings are provided for with Equal Money – than to continue to allow a world/money system where people are constantly competing with each other to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system that sees value in people according to how much money they have/make, and for how I’ve ignored the depth of daily stress being lived by those who have little to no money to provide for themselves, thus, I commit myself to never stop supporting an Equal Money System because I see, realize and understand how with Equal Money we will manifest Heaven on Earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how every day thousands of people have absolutely nothing and starve to death while others have more than they could possibly use in a one lifetime therefore, I commit myself to show how only the best and most nutritious food will exist with an Equal Money System.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when things are going my way and I have money in my pocket then I don’t stop to consider how others are experiencing themselves as fearful and stressed out from not knowing how they will survive from one minute to the next, thus, I commit myself to show how with Equal Money, people will stop manipulating and stealing because with Equal Money people will begin to understand the nature of themselves and thus will begin to forgive and correct themselves and begin to assist and support each other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a world/money system that is driven to only support itself through the ways and means of abuse of and as a Capitalistic system, thus, I commit myself to show how we will bring an end to Capitalism through manifesting Heaven on Earth with Equal Money.

Day 135: Teach Me2

Today I reacted to my 2 year old granddaughter, who actually teaches me more life skills in a 8 hour day than I may ever be able to teach her. Thus the following self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become impatient with my 2 year old granddaughter when she continued to push buttons on my computer / printer and for feeling guilty for her crying as I physically moved her from them, and within that, I forgive myself for not seeing, realizing and understanding how she looks to experience herself in how she sees me experiencing myself, thus, I forgive myself for rushing myself to finish, because in my rush I was participating within my mind which led to feelings of impatience and guilt, which I then projected onto her, instead of being there for her to explore her world with my assistance, therefore, I forgive myself for projecting the feelings / reactions that I was having onto her according to what I was accepting and allowing myself to participate within and exist as, because, I see, realize and understand how my starting point was one of anxiety where I was avoiding facing a point of fear within myself, therefore, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that it is Not possible for another to influence who I am unless I give permission, and any reaction/experience that I may or may not have is a direct reflection of my own inner relationship with myself according to what I am accepting and allowing myself to exist as through and as the direction of my mind, instead of me directing my mind as me according to what’s best for All . Thus, When and as I see myself becoming impatient with my granddaughter/others as myself, I stop. I commit myself to slow myself down and breathe, to look within myself at my starting point to assure that I no longer project onto another anything less than who I am in self-honesty as I continue walking my Journey to Life.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I was hurrying to finish what I was doing , how within that, I, for a split moment, saw how I was giving myself different perceptions of myself whereas I experienced a subtle conversation within my mind which I didn’t stop, thus is how I within that moment, created a problem within my situation where there otherwise wasn’t one, therefore, I commit myself to breathe and realize that within every moment of breath I am the one who decides who I am , thus, through self-corrective application I direct myself to establish effective communication with my granddaughter/others within my world in order to be able to teach life skills – free from anxiety and fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I am rushing, that I manifest pain in the center of my back, which I see is a point of suppression related to self-judgment and, in how I was existing in anxiety and fear of letting other’s down within the ‘feeling’ that ‘I’m not good enough’ and/or strong enough to direct myself within my world, and within that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel disappointed in myself for not being the living example of how and what it is to be supportive and patient with all living beings, thus, I commit myself to be patient and gentle with myself and others as myself, because I see, realize and understand that my responsibility for and as life is determined within every moment of breath as a living example of placing myself in the shoes of another, to thus become stable support for a world according to what’s best for All.

Day 130: The Evil That Men Do

For Context please read the following:
Farming rhinos – –
Forget cocaine: Rhino horn is the new drug of status – –

“The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.” ~ Joseph Conrad

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the depth of fear I have to/toward that which I’ve only begun to understand, which is the acts of man as the Mind of Consciousness, where most disturbingly, our abuse to animals in how we have reduced them to becoming a commodity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how money is the motivating factor within 99.9 % of all abuse, war, torture and death and how the single act of supporting an Equal Money system can and Will bring 99.9% of all abuse, war, torture and death to an end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the belief in finding cures for disease and illness through abuse and/or the death of another will Never result in the Solution for and as Life.

I forgive myself for not realizing how deadly the animal relationship to human is in the servant master relationship as that which we have accepted and allowed within our world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the depth of my dishonesty, in how I have schemed and looked for others to fail so that I could earn more Money than them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how in my desire to look and ‘feel good about myself’, I never considered at what cost to the animal were my so-called dreams of looking younger and pretty, all the while clueless as to who had to suffer and/or die in order to produce the products I desired.

I forgive myself for not realizing how in-denial I’ve been throughout my life in that I have been so consumed in the race to get and buy, that I never saw the extent of torture, pain and death that I accepted and allowed others to experience because I was too absorbed in/as self-interest and greed and never considered the life of another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I react to the evil within this world through anger, spite and hate, that I am in-fact existing as the same as that which I perceive myself as being different from, therefore, I commit myself to forgive myself for who I am within the senseless torture, mutilation and death to/of animals for profit and gain and, I commit myself to change myself from within and to in self-honesty walk as a living example of change supportive of and as life, to thus bring about Heaven on Earth through Equal Money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I have existed as the evil that lives and walks upon this earth, and how I see, realize and understand that evil can only exist because I have given permission for it to, thus, I commit myself to stop who I am as consciousness, and to support a world where All living beings are suppported with the utmost dignity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I cannot undo that which I’m guilty of, however, I can through self-forgiveness begin to change that which I’ve accepted and allowed, thus, breath by breath, I commit myself to educate myself and investigate the inner workings of myself as my mind in order to stop the evil within so as to stop manifesting the evil that men do as our world, to take responsibility for and to redesign Our World according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself for not comprehending and realizing the physical expression of nature and animals, and for not realizing what it is I am to learn from/as them in order to realize who I am as life, thus, I commit myself to apply myself within and as compassion and patience so as to bring forth from within myself an understanding of what it really is to stand up for and as All living beings Equally.

I forgive myself for not realizing that I have lived my life as a Character of Expectation of/as my mind and as that, I’ve not been willing to give that which I have expected to receive, therefore, I commit myself to give unto others as I would like to receive, which is the ability to provide for my physical body with a home, food, clean water, an education and healthcare and, the ability to share one’s self-expression free from fear within a World System that supports All Life according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to show how the world will only change when real change begins first within, thus I commit myself to let go of expectations, competition, greed and the desire to have and be more, and, through self-forgiveness I commit myself to breathe as I walk self-change together as a group, neighbor for neighbor.

“I commit myself to when I see that I am criticising others and blaming others in relation to my expectations not being met to accept and allow myself to slow down as I now see, realise and understand that I had created my experience of disappointment within and as myself where my expectations were not met, not seeing realising and understanding that I was the one that created the ideas / beliefs within and as myself and now that they are not manifesting I am blaming others, when it is in fact I that should investigate the ideas and beliefs that I had created within and as myself as I held onto the ideas and beliefs in hope and in dictating that they should become manifest and through this I commit myself to see, realise and understand that if I have ideas and beliefs how I would like others to behave to instead creating expectations within and as myself of others / self to manifest these ideas / beliefs to instead walk the physical timeline, look at the physical consequences and determine whether these ideas / beliefs are standing what is best for all in all ways.” ~Esteni De Wet