Tag Archive | family value

Day 135: Teach Me2

Today I reacted to my 2 year old granddaughter, who actually teaches me more life skills in a 8 hour day than I may ever be able to teach her. Thus the following self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become impatient with my 2 year old granddaughter when she continued to push buttons on my computer / printer and for feeling guilty for her crying as I physically moved her from them, and within that, I forgive myself for not seeing, realizing and understanding how she looks to experience herself in how she sees me experiencing myself, thus, I forgive myself for rushing myself to finish, because in my rush I was participating within my mind which led to feelings of impatience and guilt, which I then projected onto her, instead of being there for her to explore her world with my assistance, therefore, I forgive myself for projecting the feelings / reactions that I was having onto her according to what I was accepting and allowing myself to participate within and exist as, because, I see, realize and understand how my starting point was one of anxiety where I was avoiding facing a point of fear within myself, therefore, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that it is Not possible for another to influence who I am unless I give permission, and any reaction/experience that I may or may not have is a direct reflection of my own inner relationship with myself according to what I am accepting and allowing myself to exist as through and as the direction of my mind, instead of me directing my mind as me according to what’s best for All . Thus, When and as I see myself becoming impatient with my granddaughter/others as myself, I stop. I commit myself to slow myself down and breathe, to look within myself at my starting point to assure that I no longer project onto another anything less than who I am in self-honesty as I continue walking my Journey to Life.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I was hurrying to finish what I was doing , how within that, I, for a split moment, saw how I was giving myself different perceptions of myself whereas I experienced a subtle conversation within my mind which I didn’t stop, thus is how I within that moment, created a problem within my situation where there otherwise wasn’t one, therefore, I commit myself to breathe and realize that within every moment of breath I am the one who decides who I am , thus, through self-corrective application I direct myself to establish effective communication with my granddaughter/others within my world in order to be able to teach life skills – free from anxiety and fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I am rushing, that I manifest pain in the center of my back, which I see is a point of suppression related to self-judgment and, in how I was existing in anxiety and fear of letting other’s down within the ‘feeling’ that ‘I’m not good enough’ and/or strong enough to direct myself within my world, and within that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel disappointed in myself for not being the living example of how and what it is to be supportive and patient with all living beings, thus, I commit myself to be patient and gentle with myself and others as myself, because I see, realize and understand that my responsibility for and as life is determined within every moment of breath as a living example of placing myself in the shoes of another, to thus become stable support for a world according to what’s best for All.

Day 65: Living in Hope is a TRAP

Almost 2 months ago I had an ‘idea’ to test my application and stop by a casino after 2 years of not gambling. The ‘idea’ was to see if I was able to walk into a casino and walk out having only spent a predetermined amount of money. My ‘idea’ was coming from a dishonest starting point of curiosity and according to past experiences as picture presentations within my mind as them – thus I spent 3 times the amount of money that I had planned, and once again I had fallen into an energetic money pit. I see/realize and understand that from the beginning, I’ve not walked this point through from the starting point of self-honesty, thus it’s not surprising I’ve time-looped. Now, today, and earlier in the week I’ve had two occasions where I was driving alone with money in hand, and have been walking the same point of energetic thoughts to gamble. Hence, the following self-forgiveness.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use gambling as an incessant diversion to draw off attention from the starting point of existing within hope, where just like in religion I secretly hoped to receive a miracle so to speak so that my life can be easier by winning a jackpot, though, ultimately keeping myself trapped in cycles of a religious construct which offers a thrill to the ride in but will aLIEnate who one is, killing life itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to time-loop this point due to the nature of myself as being in a hurry to rid myself of the point – where inrushing I failed to see the nature of my starting point according to the individual energetic high within each of a string of assorted energetic/manipulating addictive behaviours that I’ve existed as, thus not fully comprehending the point within each, thus my ineffectiveness due to separation and lack of specificity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist where I have absolutely never known myself free from existing in some sort of energetic experience, so much so, that to consider Not ever having an energetic experience again, scares the hell out of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to experiencing myself in and as ‘ideas’ of energy where throughout my life I have accumulated myself as a variety of ideas/addictive behaviours where I’ve bounced to and from and back and forth as them depending upon accessibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never actually see myself as I did today, where I realized that within my life-line therein lies the truth and/or the consequences of me, where every thought I participate in as every word I speak is a move I make toward who/how I determine my next physical movement within my reality and that to Not understand that I am responsible for and as everything and everyone here is to be existing in nothing more than the nature of and as my own preprogrammed mind as consciousness slavery.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that I have always been the moving force of me as the piece in what I’ve always seen as a game of chasing myself rather than being here as myself, thus today, when and as I first played with/participated within the notion of gambling, I for a moment lost sight of the goal of consciousness which is to always achieve an Energetic High to continue the fueling of us as mind consciousness systems, which is exactly what is killing me as my physical body as well as the leading cause of depleting our physical reality – which is Not a game – in and as consumerism.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to experience the smell of walking into the casino as that of freshly smoked cigarettes and hearing the sound of the slot machines as I would sit and continually feed money into slot machines mindlessly entertained within a hypnotic state of mind as nothing more than how a computer acts during a scheduled upgrade.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forEGO the fact that when I loose money gambling I create stress within my physical body which further accelerates the aging process as well as creates dis-ease within the cells of my flesh and internal organs thus, stress being an act of self-abuse upon me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the fiend addicted to some pernicious habit in order to achieve an experience of myself to provide energy to fuel the mind as consciousness so much so that I saw how I was able to stop the demanding urge and downright tantrum/possession within and as my mind, just like giving candy to a baby because today, the moment I allowed myself to buy myself a single serving of chocolate pie, immediately, the urge to gamble stopped, because I gave my mind something to recharge it – sugar – the poison I saw as the least damaging for my physical body within that particular moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in the beginning not fully grasp the Desteni material because I didn’t really believe that we’re a pre-programmed mind consciousness systems, only now, as I was taking a simple trip to town to check our mail at the local post office, I saw who I really am within the struggle of inner urges to gamble in my quest to obtain some sort of energy to fuel my mind as consciousness – thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ever doubt what I’ve proved to/for myself – that not only are we pre-programmed as consciousness, but that we are led around by our nose according to energetic symbols and impulses as bait/trigger points, which we use and abuse to recharge ourselves as our mind using what we refer to as money, sex, spirituality, sugar, greed and games in and as competition/conflict and survival.

I commit myself to, through self-forgiveness stop who I am as an energetic vampire and to show myself who I am free from the greed of energy and money which is exactly what keeps the world turning as the abuse we see manifested here as hell on earth.

I commit myself to stop how I forEGO life itself when I value energetic experiences over supporting life according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to show how Self-forgiveness will assist to support Self-in-honesty so self can actually see that it IS possible to stop what and who we’ve become as a mind consciousness system thus then gift self the ability to support an Equal Money system creating Heaven on Earth for All.


Please Read Earth’s Journey to Life with regards to ‘The emergence of ideas’:
Day 33: Emergence of Ideas
Day 34: Emergence of Ideas Self Forgiveness Statements
Day 35: Emergence of Ideas Self Forgiveness Statements Continued

Day 36: Emergence of Ideas Self Commitment Statements

Day 64: Childhood Leg-I-see as Desire: Head of the Class

Today I was reacquainted through the internet with someone from my past that I’ve known since I was seven when I first started elementary school. Triggered within me were memories/ legacies of me as my past that I’ve continued to hand down as walking actions of myself which I’ve maintained since the beginning of me as manifested patterns of self-abuse, within a mindset that I can see I still exist as, hence, the following self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry in/as my legs as I’ve walked the path of/as the illusion of family values, where I’ve carried the weight of my past through/as the DNA of my mother and father and the ideas they existed as and believed in as the beautiful lie they told themselves in order to make it through the daily struggle within the survival system of/as our current world/money system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become a living example of desire crossed in loneliness, where I wanted to be noticed and stand out and I didn’t really care what I had to do in order to achieve the energetic high of existing as the desired experience of/as my mind as being ‘special’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the belief that to be loved is to be accepted and to be accepted is to be loved and within that I’ve sought self-validation and self-acceptance outside myself from others through experiences I’ve manifested of/for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within my secret mind desire to grow up and be ‘better than’ my parents as a way of ‘getting back at them’ for that which I felt they were keeping from me, which within my mind, I believed it was the experience of ‘real love‘ that they were withholding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself within the starting point of desire where from when I first started school, all I wanted was to be ‘head of the class – the ‘special one’, the one that the teacher would see as the Best and ‘the ONE’ in which to follow in the footsteps of, thus, when I saw my teacher’s attention focus on someone else I became suppressed within myself in disappointment, disgust, anger and frustration because I depended upon the positive energetic charge I got when I received attention, because as all children I reLIEd upon and depended on the love and devotion received from immediate family, and, I directed mine towards authority figures within my life, because I sensed myself as void of that within my family, thus, I focused all my desires to/toward my teachers as the substitute fuel to somehow achieve that which I ‘felt’ denied of from my family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize how even now I exist the same toward people I’ve deemed as special, and even as I write this I feel constriction as an inward pressure/pain and tightness within my chest area representing the point of devotion to family, thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect who and how I’ve existed as within a point of FAMe wherein I desired to be INFAMOUSly regarded as the person to favor whether through inside or outside my immediate FAME-I-Lie.

I forgive myself that in my beLIEved manner of self-notoriety, I secretly existed in shame within my secret mind, NOT seeing, realizing and understanding that what I do in my mind has a consequence to everything and everyone within this reality and as such I created an alternate reality inside myself that manifested on the outside within my physical world as a negative experience wherein I was bullied and made fun of by the kids in my class which further perpetuated my already self made mind possession and sent me into an extremely isolated existence of myself.

I forgive myself that I hadn’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand how when I didn’t perceive myself as ‘fitting’ into my immediate family system as becoming the slave of my parents – even though I actually was – and how I in-advertently used what I experienced as a ‘lack of’ attention from my parents and imposed it upon those within my world that I saw as having authority and thus would then seek from them the teaching/knowledge/guidance as a way of seeking self-approval and self-validation as well as seeking to support and please others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a child to be caught within the polarity of good and bad and right and wrong to such a degree that I feared and suppressed any ability to actually express myself free from the opinions I was constantly forming within my mind with regards to who I would be and become according to how I felt I was obligated to act and behave as in ways which would be acceptable and approved according to the rules of my family, society and the world/money/survival system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust my parents unconditionally while inside myself at the same time feeling and directing hate to/towards them – instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that is not my fault nor my parents fault for how I experienced myself because my parents experienced themselves exactly the same as I did because we’ve not yet as a family/society utilized the tools now available through Desteni I Process as being the practical supportive tools for family and life to actually stand up from within the abuse we’ve accepted and allowed from generation to generation as the sins of the fathers – to direct ourselves according to what’s best for All whereby life as we’ve known of/as ourselves will begin to change and we’ll welcome who we are as individual self-expressions.

I commit myself to forgive my way clear to no longer accept myself to separate myself through self-judgment where I create and manifest desires within myself thus manifesting and creating the same within my outer world as this physical reality, which I take self-responsibility for in supporting a world/money system according to what’s best for all.

Day 34: Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

My first memory of what fear looks like was on the face of my Aunt Lea when I was three years old. She still talks about how stressed out she was when she finally found me hanging out underneath a rack of clothes in the retail store where she was spending money. I didn’t even know I was missing.

My first memory of what anger looks like is when I accidentally broke the foot off of a porcelain dog that was my Aunt Lea’s when I was four.

My first memory of what heartache, fear and anger feels like, was when my mother and step dad suddenly arrived to take me from the only place I was familiar with as home – with my grandmother, grandfather and my aunt and uncle’s. I lived with them from the time I was 1 1/2 to 4 1/2 years old.

All three of my first experiences as self as the above memories – all revolved around money. The first one was about spending money, the second one was about wasting money, and the third one was about finally having enough money to feed one’s child. This was the beginning patterns of how I was educated about money and one that has followed me throughout my life, and this is not about blame nor does my story hold any specialness to it.

Families don’t know the first thing about educating their children about money and certainly have no clue how to support a child in being a self-responsible human being – one that will contribute to the overall well being in creating a world system that will provide the necessary means of establishing and replenishing our environment where every living being, from the moment they take their first breath, will be guaranteed the opportunity to flourish and express themselves into oneness of/as being.

The purpose for me sharing these particular memories is to share how if Money were removed from the equation of all three of the memories, what then?

– – if my Aunt hadn’t been under stress to purchase new clothes that she really couldn’t afford, for a job she didn’t even like, and, if she had not spent so much money on the porcelain dog in the first place, and, if my mom had been able to afford for her 1 1/2 year old baby to live with her after her divorce — what then?

Allow yourself to comprehend how Equal Money changes Everything and if that brings up fears we are able to release them through self-forgiveness.

Fear of Change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change because I fear what I might lose because I’ve associated change as going from a good to bad and a bad to worse situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change because I have defined myself according to a specific point thus the point of change requires that I face myself within a fear of loss of self for something that I’ve only believed about myself when in fact isn’t real in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the point of fear of change fear failing which is related to the need for perfection within fear and anxiety of not getting things right, thus I avoid the fear of failing by not doing anything accept existing within the point of fear of change.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that fear of change is the most common reason for resistance to any kind of change and thus stops us from taking immediate action of any kind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear who I am free from the right to brag about having the most money, the best house, car and/or job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change my opinion and/or my intention to/toward others based upon money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear Equal Money because I fear not being part of the system of survival/money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to from an early age focus myself in and as negative and positive energy experiences where I imprinted myself within a belief that life is either good or bad depending upon the amount of money I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself into materialistic manifestations within my world where if I were to lose them, I fear I couldn’t handle it because I wanted to feel as if I controlled my world, when in fact I am controlled and defined according to and as them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed money to be used as a method of control to keep human beings in my world as I want them to be so that I can make sure that I don’t have to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change me to conform and condition myself to who and what exists within this world according to the value I’ve placed in money to be accepted and noticed – instead of me living me as who I am in self-honesty in every moment of breath according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to supporting and assisting bringing awareness to the fact that fear of change is not who you really are.

I commit myself to supporting a system of equality where all change within our world/money system is based according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to proving in self-honesty that the change that Equal Money will allow for every single living being within this world is beyond the limited imagination of our mind as consciousness and thus I will not stop til all living beings is supported in every way with Equal Money.

Join us as we Stand up for and as All Life and change Everything, with Equal Money.


Please read the following blogs for further perspectives and self-support:

Creation’s Journey to Life

Heaven’s Journey to Life