Archive | December 2010

Redesigning Myself As Equality As Unconditional Self Expression

I have witnessed myself recently go into fits of coughing when talking and/or when I am commenting on a post on Desteni, Youtube, Facebook, anywhere wherein I am placing my words as me specifically as standing as a representation of who and how I am currently existing as who I am.  It’s been frustrating, yet cool how my physical body is assisting and supporting me in stopping suppressing myself so as to breathe and allow words to flow as life as me equally as all here.
When I’m allowing fear and resistance within my words, I will cough.  When I’m breathing as my words in self honesty equal and one supportive of all life here within unconditional self expression  – then no cough or congestion occur – I am clear.

In an instant – The coughing will begin right as I’m speaking and/or typing my words, showing me when I’m suppressing my self expression equally as all here – this certainly is stopping me and getting my attention within the moment as assistance for me to realize how much I have contained myself within the conformities of the mind consciousness systems.

This pattern began when I was a child because of the influences of my mother and father within the Family System of the Mind Consciousness System designs.  Wherein I was not able to stand up to my parents and was condemned to follow their example for the necessity to survive in this world.  What a fuckup this is and we have all continued to pass this design generation after generation onto our children.

I remember how frustrated and angry as well how sad that I would become because of what I was accepting and allowing my parents to do unto me, but I had no idea nor the tools of how to assist myself and so all that remained was me suppressing how I was experiencing myself and I just walked through the motions of their instructions, lost in my mind, and I did as I was told in order to survive.

The sadness and disappointment that I have carried towards my parents as well as myself for having accepted and allowed this have further suppressed my self expression as me as unconditional as all here.  As I’ve grew up, I have become my parents as the very manifested expressions of mind consciousness system designs that I as a child resisted until I gave up and gave in because I just wanted to somehow survive.

My parents experienced exactly the same from their parents as did their parents as have we all as we’ve continued the entrapments of our accepted self abuse as recycled mind constructs as each other – generation after generation within mind consciousness system enslavement patterns of abuse towards all life.  I am now aware of these patterns and I now have the tools of self forgiveness and self honesty to push through these patterns within self application and stop them once and for all and bring forth from myself equality as unconditional self expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry and resentful towards my parents for having enforced their pre-programmed mind designs upon me instead of realizing that they as me as all have existed within a mind system design which is abusive towards all life without our realizing because of fear of facing ourself.  In self honesty I stand as them as me as all and direct myself here equal and one as all life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget my very own self dishonest existence as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become when I was younger in which I have existed as – instead I stop – I stand within self honesty and allow myself to express myself unconditionally within and as equality and oneness as all.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear me and to fear others as me because I have feared knowing who and what I have become and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be one with and equal to as what exist as me as the thoughts of the secret mind within me, the truth of me as the manifestation of self dishonesty. I stop.  I stand within self honesty and I face myself within realizing that we are all as one as equal. I stand in support of myself as all as life here as me equal and one as all here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am one with and equal to my mind which is the very manifested presentation of self dishonesty, and in believing that I am one with and equal to my mind in self dishonesty as what and who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become – I experience and reflect and have manifested the very nature of my being as self dishonesty as my mind because I create as me an experience as me, manifested here as me, as that which I have accepted and allowed myself to be one with and equal to and thus have only known self expression as such.  I Stop.

I redesign myself here free from conditions of the mind consciousness systems that I have accepted and allowed and I stand and direct myself within self honesty equally as all within unconditional self expression.

Disappearance of Self As Prejudice

Killing Consciousness – I Forgive Myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hustle through my daily life reminiscing within my mind of my past emotional moments as my current moment of breath escaped me while I lost myself within thoughts and feelings of desires, all the while barely noticing my world here that is me for having sought to be saluted for my very actions of breath, while I floated within my mind contemplating momentary self satisfaction, of false gratification, not caring if I know you, yet begging, please notice me here before you.

All the while existing in ‘thoughts’ planning how to show you a part of myself made up within a consciousness system mind illusion of prejudice of who I ‘felt’ I wanted and needed to be before you.

As I was missing myself as you as I was passing by. As everything here was screaming for me to see our oneness as equals – it fell upon the silence of my ears -as I lost myself within my mind waiting for images of thought patterns to appear before me – ’til finally I realized within self-honesty – nothing of my mind was real. It was here, breathing, in how I realized that you are me and I am you and we are both part of the whole of us all here – how we’ve forgotten ourselves in and as our own creation of ourselves. How in moving oneself physically into and as self change acccording to the principle of Equality, we’ll in that moment change and transform our experience of ouselves into and as that of oneness in seeing ourself as all as one as equal through and as the, “Disappearance of Self”.

The picture attached to my blog is a visual representation of myself specifically in the moment in which I wrote this blog is being written.

Seeing the picture seemed to breathe life into and as me, as if to say, ‘here you are, see yourself’. So I posted the picture with my blog, still, even now, seeing the picture attached to my words brings together the meaning representative of who I am, once was, have become and/or have always been for all are the same.

for a moment I sensed a bit of ‘embarrassment’ for having chosen the specific picture of who and how I am existing here.

I had two immediate thought patterns that consisted of ‘what will others think of me for posting that picture with my blog’, of which I immediately stopped.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed picture presentations of my mind to decide who I am and how I participate within my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as prejudices of the mind according to my own prejudgments towards self.

The word ‘prejudices’ sounds like ‘pre-juices’, which for me ‘juices’ represent natural fluid, representative of blood flow. Natural flow of life of living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become separate from the natural flow of who I am as life – as all here representative of breath equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as ego within fearful thoughts according to who I am expressing myself as words as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to silence myself according to fears of my mind. Instead of directing me here as my mind facing me as all as one as equal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be ‘above’, or ‘better than’ animals, plants and any and all life forms. Instead of realizing myself as them Equal and One.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within an ‘idea’ directed by my mind within scandalous predictions. Instead of facing and directing myself here within self honesty standing One and Equal within and as all life here.

Interview with Agreement

This Interview from Desteni Forums is so assisting that I am sharing here for self reference. Enjoy.
Bernard: Ok, bring me Agreement. 

(Sunette breathes in, breathes out. Agreement is here)

Please explain yourself.

Agreement: Explain myself?

B: Yeah, what is an agreement.
A: Agreement is where two beings agree to support and assist themselves to LIVE and express and be self-honest. And that’s it.
B: Is it a process?
A: No.
B: Is it in every breath?
A: Yes.
B: Ok go a little bit into detail.

A:Well, I mean, how relationships work in this reality, in this world, it’s like, where two beings feel some shit towards each other, and then it goes: ‘Hey I’m feeling something towards this person. This is interesting, let me explore this feeling.’ And then it’s interpreted in their mind as being attracted to that person and then they attract to each other like magnets, deliberately attracting each other to each other, and ehm, then this experience they had towards each other dies and it’s not there anymore and then the relationship falls. Alright?

Now, what is fascinating is that beings constantly and continuously went into such relationships where – it’s like: ‘I feel something towards you’ and ‘I feel something towards you’, ‘Oh that must mean we’re attracted to each other, so let’s go into relationship with each other’. And then it’s like ‘Oh no, I don’t have that feeling anymore’ and ‘Oh no, me neither’, ‘Ok bye’, and then part, and then it happens again towards someone else –same attraction, relationship, not feeling it anymore, and ‘ok bye’… That type of thing.

Now what are those feelings experienced towards another being? These feelings experienced towards another being is manifested as various different constructs and systems within the mind consciousness system to preoccupy beings. Relationship was designed to preoccupy. Because –have a look, when you’re in relationship, what exists? Only that other person and your experience of that other person and that’s it. Your whole world, your whole mind, your whole reality just revolves around that one person, and that’s to where your world extends. And that’s it. Completely lost in preoccupation, in the relationship design construct of the mind, that is perpetuated by a feeling that is merely electrical initiative sparks.

I mean, that’s what a feeling is: sparks, that’s set off in your mind consciousness system and your mind consciousness system rubs against your physical human body and creates a feeling and then you experience this feeling and then you see a person suddenly and then you go: ‘Fuck, this feeling must be because of that person’. When actually it’s just sparks being set off inside your physical human body in a particular moment that’s designed according to your pre-programmed life experience.

So, beings’ lives were pre-programmed. So, like, let’s say you’re sitting in a bar, in a club, and all of a sudden this electrical spark friction movement goes off between your physical and your mind consciousness system and in that moment you suddenly look at a person. And the same thing happens in that other person. And then, the two think: ‘Oh my god, this must be the one.’ And then they go into relationship and the friction only lasts for so long and then they were preoccupied for a year or two… and nothing of that whole relationship, that whole experience was real in any way whatsoever, because it was merely a moment pre-programmed into their life design, where their physical and their mind consciousness system was set off to cause friction, which is an electrical impulse experience and that experience was related to who they looked at in that moment.
That’s how it previously worked. So any relationship that you have had was not real. Can you see that? (Yeah) At all. If you have an electrical feeling experience towards someone –that’s not real. Makes sense? (Yeah)

An agreement is an entire different scenario. Now – agreement does not work on feeling, agreement does not work on an experience towards another –it cannot. Why? That would be ultimate separation! If you experience something towards someone, it’s like having an experience towards yourself. You know? Even sex is the same thing. You’re having sex with yourself, so you might as well put yourself right on top of you or behind you or whatever way you like it. Because it’s YOU, alright? What creates your perceptual reality, your perceptual experience towards another is that point of accepted and allowed separation. You separate yourself from another and, as has been explained, if you separate yourself from the mind, it causes friction. That friction causes all sorts of experiences inside you that you define according to someone that you make eye contact with. Which has got nothing to do with that someone you make eye contact with, it’s simply electrical impulses being experienced within yourself, it’s friction.

B: That’s a point here: obviously, stopping the mind does not mean separating yourself from the mind. Obviously, the point is NO SEPARATION. You’re stopping the mind, you’re not separating yourself. Ok? Go on.

A: So, hear me: Agreements, for those who are in process, like you guys here, are not gonna be simple. It’s not going to be easy. It’s not going to be a 1-2-3 lala-land experience. Because that’s not real –that’s relationship bullshit. Agreement is a self-directive decision to walk with another that is yourself, to on a more one-to-one personal basis assist yourself and yourself as the other to live and express and be self-honest. It is not related to or connected to feelings or thoughts or anything in that category at all. In other words, if you have thoughts or feelings or experiences towards another being –it is not real. It is relationship bullshit that is manifesting through your mind, and if you’re going to allow yourself to follow that, you’re going to only manifest a time loop. Because those feelings and shit eventually die off. Because energy can only sustain itself for so long.

So there will be many let’s call it temptations in front of your doors, where you’ll suddenly have these experiences towards another person, and then you’ll want to excuse and justify in your mind that, you know: ‘This might be the person I should be with’. And if you fall for that, you’re gonna time loop. Alright. No agreement will be linked to feelings.

For example Ivan and Bella. They have no feelings towards each other at the moment. All that exists is… almost like a sense of disgust. You can’t stand each other. You just don’t wanna be with each other. Complete total entire resistance. That is perfect. That’s where you want to be. That’s what is real. Why do I say that? Because, whenever you have such experiences towards another human being, you know you’re at the right place. Because you’re at the point of actually standing before you, absolutely, totally and completely.

B: Esteni, what was your experience with me? Esteni, what was your experience in the beginning with me? Did you want to be with me?
Esteni: No, I didn’t.
B: You couldn’t stand me.
E: No, I resisted a lot. I wanted to run away the whole time. But you kept on being there, being stable, leaving all doors open, yet directing at the same time.
B: Ok.

A: Agreements are going to be a very tough, hard, difficult walk. In the beginning. Because, you’re gonna face you, head on, face on, straigh on, absolutely. Does that make sense? (Yeah) And I’d suggest- why do we suggest agreements? Because of that. Just that: that you’re gonna be facing yourself with another, head on, straight on, face on, in fuckin’ every single moment, unstoppable, the whole time continuously –so you can’t run away from yourself. Does that make sense?

B: If you’re looking for an easy agreement – you are dishonest.

A: Yeah.
If you don’t have an agreement, your process will be longer, because then you’re gonna have to face yourself out in the matrix, meaning in the world, through events, through circumstances, through experiences, through different people. And that takes a lot longer, facing yourself that way. So I suggest rather go into an agreement, because there you stand in front of all of you, as another being, face to face.

Now, it’s also not even a particular being. Why do I say that? Each being is you. And all human beings are exactly the same. Make sense? (Yeah) Except the point where I said that: if you have feelings towards someone, that’s not where you’re supposed to go, because all that’s gonna happen there is you’re gonna support your mind. You have to go to the place where you resist the most. All resistances is points of facing self. All points of ‘Aah! I want to go there, I desire to be that, I desire to experience that’ –that’s mind support. Because it’s perpetuated by energetic experiences.

Bella and Ivan –you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

B: And you know that. You just have to really allow each other- each other’s space. You’re not allowing that yet. You’re consuming each other, instead of allowing each other space. It’s still an individual process.
A: It’s always individual, it’s always only yourself –yourself simply walking with another that is yourself, so that you can reflect you back to yourself. It’s got nothing to do with the other person. Does that make sense? You’re simply looking you straight in the face.

B: So, I mean, the word ‘love’ should never cross your lips.
A: No.

Link to read full thread post:

It’s Kind of Silly of MySelf + Bonus Assistance By Sunette Spies:Writing – Self-Directive vs Mind-Regurgitation

It’s kind of silly when you realize in your ‘Writing  Yourself to Freedom’ Blogs – that you tattled on yourself, recently, right in front of yourself, within the words you had written. And, you’re only now realizing that assistance for self is always under your nose if you’ll breathe and have a look for yourself.  It causes realization of self, in self honesty, to be fun like a scavenger hunt, more interesting than the greatest of mysteries and, assists your self-forgiveness to flow as water.



ApexVega wrote:
So now when she pops up in my head, she is most welcome. Because I now know that it is not her that is popping up, it is a reminder of the work that needs to be done in myself. And so, I let go of her and attend the real issue.

Sunette’s comment posted about what ApexVega wrote:

Take Note All of this Practical Way of Looking at Memories and not accepting/allowing them to become/be ‘Personalized’ as approaching them from reaction, but directly seeing what they’re showing/indicating about/of ‘who you are’ in the moment and how you’re able to utilize the point coming up in assisting/supporting self within one’s Process.  Enjoy! Sunette Spies


Sunette Spies from Desteni assists all in allways within every moment she breathes.

Writing – Self-Directive vs Mind-Regurgitation
December 21, 2010
Sunette Spies

Ok – Within this interview we’re going to have a look at self-directive writing and the difference between self-directive writing and mind-regurgitative writing – wherein your writing purely consists of and exists as regurgitating your thought patterns and reaction habits without any actual insight or understanding or realization that come through within through your writing and thus render your writing useless, because within such mind-writing all that your in essence doing is feeding your mind consciousness system a different way, wherein you are validating and justifying and feeding your current starting point or definition of who you are, how you are, and what you are within and as the mind consciousness system.

Therefore, to give some clarity, perspective, insight and understanding in ensuring that when you write, you’re writing self-directively that while and within your writing you are writing our your mind-pattern that it is that you’re facing and at the same time as writing it out, you are standing up within it, so that your writing becomes an actual self-assistance in self-support from that perspective. NOT a mind-support or assistance, but an actual self-support and assistance.

Self-support and assistance – meaning, that you see, realize, and understand while, and through, and within your writing what it is that you’re accepting and allowing and while you’re writing out, let’s say, the problem, you’re at the same time seeing the solution and within that can direct yourself within your self-forgiveness most effectively and then, of course, within your practical living application as your living correction of this point that you’re facing within yourself, so that your writing becomes a point where you face yourself and stand up within yourself at the same time.

So, to assist and support with this point is to have a look at your self-experience while you’re writing or before you’re writing. Be very attentive in terms of your self-experience in the moment when you’re sitting before you’re writing that you do not accept or allow yourself to writing with and as energy, because the mind consciousness system…within the mind consciousness system energy is its main source with which it leads you into and as various constructs or patterns within and as itself – wherein, if you accept and allow yourself to participate and thus get lost within energy it is very easy for you to get lost within and as the thoughts, or the patterns, or the habits, or the constructs, or the systems that’s related to that energy. I mean, before you know it you have accepted and allowed yourself to be directed by the mind into and as various points of thinking, wondering, imagining, fantasizing, projecting, and then you’ve completely lost your self-directive will in the moment before writing.

So, be careful of that point because it’s a habit, where we accept and allow ourselves to participate in energy and then fuel that energy and then before we know it we are in various mind-dimensions and possessed by and through the initial energy that we accepted and allowed ourselves to be directed by.

So, within writing you can assist and support yourself with this point of remaining self-directive. The basically living statement of: I decide, I direct – and therefore, within your writing, take on one point at a time. Therefore, you’ll know that your writing will be in line with and sticking to this one point, and then you make sure that you do not deviate or lead yourself astray from this one point that you decided to face within and as your writing, because what the mind consciousness system, in relation to the relationship you have with your mind consciousness system, if you accept and allow yourself to deviate, meaning, now start writing or looking at various other aspect, then your writing starts becoming about those various other aspect that you accepted and allowed yourself to deviate from and then you complete lost track of that initial point that you were facing. It’s like the way that is utilized to pre-occupy you or to have you lose sight of, or remove your attention or focus away from you, yourself, here.

So, be very watchful of that tendency within and as you participation while writing.

So, therefore, when you’re sitting and you’re deciding to write and face yourself within writing, take on one point and make sure you stick to just that one point. Like, for example, you’re facing…sadness in your world, and your reality and this energetic experience of sadness has been a constant presence within your experience during your day – it’s like you realize its there and you can feel it and you accepted and allowed yourself to be influenced by this energy today. So, you basically, when you have a moment at the end of the day, or in the middle of your day, or whenever – and you just look at your initial experience, look at the one point that you can identity and what it is that you’re experiencing. So start with an experience – what is it that you’re feeling? – what is the acceptance and allowance of your current self-experience?

Then you write about it. Then you start opening yourself up in relation to the point of sadness. Then you look at sadness, you look at yourself in relation to the point – it’s not to write about it – it’s to write about you and who you are within the point of sadness.

So, many will, for example, make the mistake of regurgitating their mind-possessive state in relation to the sadness and through the writing actually feed the sadness, instead of directing themselves within the sadness. Like, for example say:

‘Today has been a really heavy day, and I’m feeling so sad and it feels like I’m so depressed and there’s like nothing I can do about it – maybe I should do that – and, you know, I’ve kind been looking at this, but it hasn’t been working, and I don’t feel like anything…’

You know, you go into a state of actual complaining about what it is that you’re experiencing and in that complaining self-victimized state that you put yourself in within your writing, you’re simply time-looping yourself in that very experience. This is an example of not being self-directive in your writing and it’s an example of victimizing yourself and feeling sorry for yourself in relation to what you’re experiencing.

So, always have a look at your writings from that perspective. Make sure that you’re not going into that complaining self-victimized state in relation to a point what you’re facing. Ensure that the point that you’re writing about is only one point and that you’re not deviating into other points. Like, you’ve decided to write about sadness and then all of a sudden you go to writing about taking a letter from the postman when you dragged your feet out of the door and you realized that the postman didn’t look very happy as well today and was also in a bad mood and it looked like everything else was in a bad mood and it was raining and its like the world changed into the sadness that you experienced…

You know, you start wandering off into talking about other people and other things in your world and your environment, completely shifting and projecting the actual initial point of yourself, in relation to sadness.

So, that’s another point to look at to make sure that the point remains about self, that you don’t start writing about yourself, and sadness, and other people, other things, other events, your whole day, your past, your future, and you start completely projecting yourself with the sadness into all aspects of your life while you’re writing. So, in essence you’re assisting and supporting your mind consciousness system to create yourself within this experience into various other aspects of your life – wherein you’re simply layering what it is that you’re experiencing, instead of stopping.

So, those are some basic examples in relation to when you start accepting and allowing yourself to writing about – sadness – wherein, the sadness becomes the focal point and you start looking and seeing everything through the sadness, instead of from and within yourself as starting point.

So, as an example in terms of self-directive writing in relation to using the example of the point of sadness as your experience, is, if you start from a question, meaning, having a look at:

‘Okay, I experienced this sadness today – where does it come form? Meaning, where did I accept and allow this sadness to exist within me?’

Then you can look at your day, and you start writing:

‘I look at the sadness that I experienced and I realized that the sadness was there when I woke up this morning, and so within realizing that it was there when I woke up this morning, I had a look at what was the first thought I had this morning? Because experience of feeling as reactions as emotion, comes from thought – so, what was the thought? And I realized the thought was in relation to a projection that I actually thought this was going to be a bad day, and I realize that within accepting that thought, I accepted the feeling, or emotion that goes with it, and the experience of it as sadness, and I also feel the heaviness, like a burden, like I’m not going to enjoy this day, and so I realize I created this experience from that singular thought.’

Now that is an example of self-directive writing. Your focus is on yourself. You took the one point, you investigated its origin point, you looked at your thoughts, you look at your self – it’s a self-reflection – within writing, self-reflection, you are facing you, your starting point, everything – it’s about you – here.

So, when your writing is going in to all sort of directions, all over the place, kind of slightly mentioning points here and there and then talking about this, and then that, and what you…your opinion and idea and belief about this, and about that…I mean, that’s messy. That’s like, writing out your thought-patterns – what it is that you’re thinking – like writing your own conversations with your own mind. I mean, we’re not interested in that, and neither should you be. I mean, it’s really of no interest. It’s messy, it’s complicated, it only fucks with you – so, just simply stop.

Writing yourself to freedom is not writing about…or writing your own conversations with your own mind consciousness system. Obviously, you’re having enough of that, so there no need to write it out as well.

Writing yourself to freedom is writing self-directively. It’s writing within facing self, and having a moment of self-reflection – it’s your mirror you’re writing. So, utilize constructively and specifically. Make sure that you take on one point at a time, identify its origin point – Where did you start to experience it? What thought did you have?

Then you can look at what external point instigated it. Then you can have a look, with the example of the sadness, it was a rainy day, and immediately because of that you allowed yourself to feel like dull, or down, and then if you would like to explore further you can look at your past and see if a memory comes up, wherein, it was a rainy day and you were a kid and you were actually fine and happy the day didn’t influence you particularly, but then you got to the breakfast table and your parents were shouting and angry at each other and the whole day was a just a mess and that influenced you and since then, you don’t like rainy days – you feel depressed, or sad, because that whole memory point made you feel sad.

And then, you accordingly within seeing that point, you apply your self-forgiveness, you write out your self-forgiveness after your writing, and then how it is that you’re going to assist and support yourself to correct this point in your practical living. Meaning, whenever it’s a rainy day you make sure that you breath, you don’t accept and allow yourself to participate in any energy that’s come up within you – in relation to it being a rainy day – you make sure that you’re stable and constant in your participation during your day, and that you do not accept and allow yourself to be controlled by this experience of sadness.

Now that whole outline is self-directive. There, you’ve taken on one point, you have self-reflected, you’ve faced it, you’ve directed yourself within it, there’s insight, understanding, common sense, realization. And, this is an example of what we mean by self-directive writing.

So, always one point at a time, because the mind consciousness system utilizes various points at a time – mixing it, intermixing it, interweaving it, and messing it up, and mixing it in with various sorts of energies, and things like that.

So, in terms of walking the mind consciousness system, standing up within it, is taking it on one point at a time.

Later on, as you become more efficient and disciplined in your application, you’ll be able to take on more points, but for now, in the beginning stages with your facing yourself, in your writing, take it one point at a time. Make sure that it is a facing-yourself-writing, that you do not regurgitate the mind consciousness system by validating it through putting yourself in a victimized point.

Write it out structurally.

First, you write about your self in relation to the point – meaning, defining what it is that you are experiencing.
Looking for its origin point – Where did it start?
Then, you can write out your realization within it.
Then, identify the memory point – Where did this situation start?
Write out your insight/realization about that.
Then, your self-forgiveness.
Then, how it is that you are going to practically correct it.

I mean, then later on as you live your practically corrective application you can fine-tune your practical correction – how it is that you approach this whole point.

So, you build on your practical living, in and as reality.

So, here an example of how to approach writing as self-directive-will, in ensuring that you do not re-create or layer even more shit within yourself in relation to the mind-consciousness system.

Thank You.

Appreciation to Lindsay Craver for her transcribing.

HO HO HO – So This Is ChristMa$$

I can honestly say that the make-belief santa story along with millions of other beliefs we accept and allow has resulted as and is held tight within our ‘Current Monetary System’ which does not support all Life Equally. Where over 1 Billion people are starving to death.

While we who aren’t currently starving to death – speak and teach our children about imaginary beings, then we go out and spend money needlessly all the while supporting the very system that is destroying us all as humanity.
I have been the biggest participator and I’ve had enough to realize that I have to breathe and assist myself to Stop.
I support All life to be here faced together Equal and One within Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness to bring forth the ‘Real’ message of Jesus.  Which was one of Equality as All as One as Equal.  Cenk Kaptanoglu said it very well when he said:

…”This message of Jesus is not being lived, has never been lived – why was Jesus Christ crucified. Because his very message, ‘Love thy neighbor as thyself’, possessed threat for those who wanted to have more than another. That caused him his crucifixion – he got the nail on the head”…  Cenk Kaptanoglu

*That’s  the ‘Truth’ in ‘Self Honesty‘*

His very crucifixion renounces his entire message of Oneness and Equality, and became humanity’s formal declaration of/as  existence as ‘hell on earth‘.  Will we continue to forsake our own ‘heaven on earth’ as we continue accepting, allowing and participating within the Current Money System that does not Support All Life Equally – that allows life itself which is us all, to perish.   Will we instead Stand as support for ourself within our support of All Life Equally in All Ways…

Assume nothing.

In Self honesty, question everything and consider all Life here Equal within questioning  because, we are each here as is all life here breathing,  which proves we are all Equally breathing and requiring the same quality of and as Life. We cannot assist ourself until we first realize each one here as self within the common sense Equality Equation of Life within and as All Life Here.

Realize Consciousness and light is the con of the very system that enslaves  us all, as we support it and give it the right to do so as we continue to allow life on this earth to be abused and starve to death.

Our physical body gives us our very Life Support in which to breath and exist here.  There exists no where on our physical body anything called consciousness. Consciousness exists within mindsets that we have accepted and allowed – where we will never question ourself  because we don’t want to give up our make-belief mind parties, and realize the con we’re being directed as.

Thoughts, feelings and emotions are powerful tools used by and as the mind to keep us from realizing the entrapment’s that are killing us each one in every moment that we allow ourselves to participate as them, and then we die – because our physical body has had the life completely sucked out of it from the stress on our body while we our participation as them, as the mind.   Stop and Breathe

We’re all abusers existing within multiple system personality disorders as ‘mind consciousness systems’.

We must assist ourself first and begin to – ‘redesign our blueprint for ourself’.

Writing assists in giving us the ‘detailed outline’, so we can see for ourself all that we have accepted and allowed, which brings self to the place of self forgiveness.

We are then able to in self honesty, unravel, disentangle, disengage, and delete the multiple mind constructs we have created and compounded within ourself, so as to not recopy and repeat the abuse we’ve created.

Then we begin ‘redesigning’ ourself within the ‘Equality Equation’, and we accumulate ourself within the physical as who we are.

Self movement will begin as breath accumulative actions of self, designed within self honesty and equality within where we each one, individually, as all, begin the birthing process willing self as all as One as Equal.

Equality begins with an Equal Money System, this is a simple fact.

The Whole World is dying – who’s next? Who will fall Ill to the terror we have accepted and allowed to exist here within this world?

Common Sense Equally as All – or – Make Belief – We Decide

We each one individually are responsible to realize the moment is here to face ourself in self honesty and within doing so,  we begin supporting all life Equally.

Suffering must Stop –  Let’s stop ourself.  Begin Here Breathing

BernardPoolman wrote:
the question of mindfulnees is fascinating– I find self is beyond cultivation as self is– mind is a tool or a system
a tool where we direct– yet self– a movement in silence of self– yet no separation
a system when we are dircted or enslaved and thus separate from ourselves
The question is–would cultivation imply a participation sometimes in a gardening process or is mind as selfwithoutsystem an expression of self in the trust of already essentialised certainty?



I Hijacked the Message of Jesus

The Beast of Revelation

‘Life Support’ For All

It makes no sense that we enforce child support yet we fail to recognize and support an Equal Money System that will guarantee ‘Life Support’ for all.  An Equal Money System will Stop the abuse of which we are bound under the enforcement guidelines of the child support system which is currently failing our children as is our current money system…

When I read the following that was posted on my nephews face book wall by his mother, I became aware of the energy of anger that in that moment surrounded me. It’s irrelevant when you’re a child to hear these sorts of things, and it would be especially difficult to read it on face book.  I remember distinctly my mom saying similar things to me regarding my biological dad, and I often hated her for it.  It’s always about money to grownups – and it matters not to our children, because the person your referring to is still our mom or dad and nothing changes that.

Here’s what was written.

We are compounding further mind constructs within the ears, mind and hearts of our children with the words we use freely, never taking self responsibility for how and why we are existing and expressing ourself in this manner.  When my mom said these sorts of things, all I really wanted and required of her was to silently give me a hug and free herself from her judgments.

I no longer hold blame towards my mom or dad because we’re all responsible for all that is here in the way the world is with atrocity all around us. We accept and allow starvation and poverty to exist within a money system that is broken, that does not support all life Equally.  Why is it surprising to us when the outflow of our self imposed inflictions begin to affect our immediate world – as well as all the lives of children who have no choice but to depend on mind crippled parents  existing robotically as mind consciousness systems.

I will no longer sit silently while children suffer needlessly while we debate opinions according to how consciousness is directing us – instead of speaking and standing up in self honesty for the innocent nature of a child – that we as adults have suppressed and forgotten.

Parent must ask themselves why they insist upon teaching children their ways of nonsense. We support our children – not undermine them with foolish ways.  Instead we face ourselves in self honstey and support the children of this world Equally as them and hear what they are expressing.

There is no right and/or wrong, there is however self honesty and self forgiveness – Stop All mind games.  Best to focus on self breathing, and stop ourselves from participating in thoughts, feelings and emotions that are not Equal and supportive to all Life here.

Child Support And Dead Beat Parenting is effective only within Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness and within applying the Equality Equation of an Equal Money System and World Equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forsake the innocence of a child all for the sake of greed and money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forfeit my self responsibility in supporting all life because I accepted desires of my mind and within this abdicated myself from life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accuse and abuse another through participating within thought and feelings of emotional stress because of money and within this verbally abused another with my spoken words.  I Stop. Till here no further

I direct myself standing in support of all Life Equally


Genuinely Grateful – Yes, I am

I am reminded when reading and hearing about the suffering of others just how fortunate I am. It’s interesting that I spent most of my life perceiving myself to be depressed and sad or even the opposite polarity within the illusion of falling in love or being happy according to the energy I was participating within. Now is not the same as before because what I realize is that I am genuinely grateful for being here.

I become frustrated when realizing the suffering of others. Often it doesn’t seem as if I’m effective enough in assisting in spreading the word about the benefits that an Equal Money System will bring to each and every being that is here, but I continue to push myself.  I have stopped disliking my world and those who are here even though I become frustrated on occasion, it’s easier for me to understand their difficulty in realizing the common sense that Equal Money will bring.  As Mind Consciousness Systems that we have all accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become it’s going to be quite a long road.

Greed is a tough system to conquer no doubt I’ve realized as I continue to apply self forgiveness when I witness a bit of the greed demon pushing itself through for me to release.  I continue to stop myself when these moments come forth and I breathe in self honesty because common sense and self forgiveness is all that I trust of myself.  I honestly don’t know if I would be here in this world if it were not for this process of facing myself in self honesty. I know that I wouldn’t want to be here, because that’s how I existed before I began applying myself within self forgiveness.  It’s very cool actually as I have began to realize that I no longer care to be considered as special or unique as I’d much prefer to just be here aware of me breathing.

The fate of the whole world rests within each and every one of us and ultimately each of us will have to sort out the mess we’ve each individually together created.  So I’m here and I’m willing myself to stand equal as all as support until we all exist within the awareness that we are in-fact, all as One as Equal.

Support an Equal Money System and World Equality

This is why Christmas is Bullshit!!!

At Christmas:
– Over 1 billion starving.
– Huge money debt for people to survive this Christmas.
– Chinese paid peanuts and worked to death to make our gifts.
– Where does the obscene profit go?
– Surviving the stress and stupidity of Christmas commercialism.

== A SO OUT THERE Production ==

Tim Jones — Music, Voice and Production

Chri$tma$ I$ Bull$hit $ong!!

The Passing On Of The ‘Sins Of The Fathers’ Is In The Money Trail

Clearly, there is one thing and one thing only that we can all do for our country, our world – Support an Equal Money System

It was November 22, 1963, I was 4 1/2 when JFK was killed. I was living with my aunt, my 3 uncles and my grandparents. I remember first seeing and hear my aunt start crying and I didn’t understand why because I had never seen her cry. My aunt was – she was my ‘idea’ of a ‘fairy godmother’ because she lavished me with surprise gifts.
Her bed in her bedroom had a bookshelf for headboard where she kept all these beautiful trinkets. She would sit with me in the middle of her bed and we would gather them all around us. In these moments, was the only time I able to touch them ever so gently. She was always happy – so to see her crying such a deep hard cry was very disturbing and confusing for me. I was 4 1/2, and I didn’t understand why everyone was gathered around the tv all of a sudden and why they all had looks on their faces like demons because I had never seen that before.  They were horrified and I don’t recall asking them why but I must have because when my aunt finally calmed down where she could speak she told me that the president had just died.

This was my first experience of witnessing the reactions and fears of death. (left thigh pain)  I remember having a brief moment of disbelief  in hearing that people die and then I remember my aunt saying how the president was so young and how we only expect death to happen to us when we get older.  It all seems like a dream after that.  All I remember was feelings of fear.

I wondered how come death only happens to people to who get older and I remember falling asleep crawled up in a ball because I was scared and lonely within my experience of myself. Interesting that I’m having pain in my left side of my thigh

After researching about that time in our history it’s interesting how JFK captured the imagination of people and he inspired the youth of the world because they say of his ‘grace, charm and warm personality’.

He had a sense of humor and an excellent choice of words. (Left thigh pain) He was the youngest US President ever elected and seemed to be intelligent and a very capable leader.  Many believe you would have brought about world peace.

JFK was also famous for his quote: ‘Ask not what your country can do for you- but what you can do for your country.  I know very little about JFK, but I remember the quote being recited over and over and being taught it in school.  It’s interesting because it seems to have been used on purpose as a  form of mind control embedded within a tragedy so as to instill a belief within us to continue to support the current money system. When he died, this was repeated into the ears of the listener.

Seems innocent enough however –  JFK was said to support putting an end to the federal reserve – then he was killed. Already it’s easy to see the fears invoked upon any ‘ideas’ of changing the current system. (left thigh pain)

Then, the ‘famous’ quote: it inforces through controvery the support of the current money system – to ‘ask not’ what your country (which is really our current accepted money system) can do for you – only what can ‘you’ do for your country (our current money system) It reinforces that all remain slaves to the very system that does not support all life equally.

To have the quote repeated and repeated in the minds of all acts as disempowerment and has been a form of mind control to make money from knowledge and fear and to keep us enslaved to the current capitalist system of money.  (left thigh pain)

I see how I used this as support in the foundation of my own consciousness design and it is representative of death, except death is just the veil and I see that now. Because, I see my first fear of death began where there is exists a money trail.  The current system has been built and supported in fears and manipulipation in order to keep the money moving only for some and the rest either starve or work themselves to death.

The fears within the media keeps the energies of fear of survival circulating within all forms of mind control. And, we support the current system while over half the world is starving and the other half is awaiting their turn within the cycle of ‘The ‘sins of the fathers’ – which is a money trail – and we’re hopping along it like peter cottontail.

As long as we continue within our fear of survival where we continue in our day to day survival routines – barely seeing as half the world suffer – we will continue to support the current system of which we each one are enslaved.

Ask yourself why you do what you do that is supporting the current money system that does not in any way support all life. When we have our answer for ourself in self honesty is when we will be willing to give up everything because we’ll understand that death is only real because we created and committed ourself to it as real within our willingness in participating within greed, power and control.

We are all self responsible and are all will part of the solution according to our self honesty, self trust and self forgiveness As this we will stop fear and we will stop committing to our current accepted and allowed creation.

We have supported the lies we were given and money has been the tool to keep us in place. There will never be one single man or one single woman as the solution because the solution exists here as us all.

While researching I discovered a beautiful lie that has been upon us. Because actually, JFK  actually used only a portion of an already published quote.  Because Khalil Gibran  first published in his 1925 work titled “The New Frontier”, Thirty-six years before President Kennedy’s 1961 Inaugural Address – where he wrote:

“Are you a politician asking what your country can do for you or a zealous one asking what you can do for your country? If you are the first, then you are a parasite; if the second, then you are an oasis in a desert. Are you a merchant utilizing the need of society for the necessities of life, for monopoly and exorbitant profit? Or a sincere, hard-working and diligent man facilitating the exchange between the weaver and the farmer? Are you charging a reasonable profit as a middleman between supply and demand? If you are the first; then you are a criminal whether you live in a palace or a prison. If you are the second, then you are a charitable man whether you are thanked or denounced by the people.” Khalil Gibran

This changes things for one to be able to see how the JFK was just a placement of support and the whole meaning of the quote by JFK was one that was intended and manipulated to promote profit over the necessities of life.

We have all accepted and allowed it and have supported it within fears and greed because we secretely wish to have more than another. Stand up, educate yourself and support and Equal Money System and World Equality.

Investigating further what left thigh pain represents according to my structural resonance –

Venos Structual Resonance: Full Article Here Regarding Thigh Points: – The chest area also represents ‘The Passing of the Sins of the Fathers’ :

The THIGH points contain your structural resonance, manifested ‘support foundation design’ – that which you have defined as the ‘support foundation’ of who you are as the structural resonance within the System.

It is also able to be defined as that which ‘balances’ and ‘stabilizes’ you within the System on earth as a structural resonance. The thighs contain your ‘balancing’ and ‘stability’ points – to maintain your controlled existence within the experience of yourself in this world so that you don’t go ‘insane’ or ‘crazy’, as per societies definition, to have to be institutionalized.

Or, to place it this way rather: To make sure that you don’t deviate from your existence within the System as a structural resonance, but remain enslaved and controlled within the System. This is done through physically manifesting the ‘support foundation design’ of the structural resonance within you during the ages from two to three years up to thirteen years of age, which assist the further development of the structural resonance as that which you will become and remain as, for the rest of your life here on earth until you die.

So, what exactly does the ‘support foundation design’ of the structural resonance consist of? The ‘support foundation design’ of the structural resonance, consist of copied/duplicated structural resonance designs from beings’ who were most influential in your world during the years from two to three up to the age of thirteen.

This being for instance, family (e.g. Parents, grandparents etc.), teacher’s and other children – even specific experiences you’ve had which influenced you drastically but could not communicate how you experienced yourself because you did not have the words/vocabulary. Such experiences remaining ‘trapped’ within you and used as either ‘protection mechanisms’ or ‘defense mechanisms’ later in your life when such experience may come forth within your world once more. Here are some examples of what the ‘support foundation design’ of the structural resonance consists of:.

This is what ensures the transfers/dupli­cations/copying of the ‘sins of the fathers’ where the parent/child relationship (including other relationships developed during the ages from two to three years up to thirteen years of age) locks in for the certainty development of the child’s becoming as a structural resonance in this world within the System. And thus, it is during this period where you assist and support yourself in becoming a structural resonance by designing your own ‘individualized support foundation design’ – thanks to your copy and duplication methodologies provided to you by your parents through the transfer and infusion of the mind consciousness systems within you during your development in the mother’s womb.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe and think that fear is real.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear being manipulated.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear starving to death.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear experiencing starvation.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear the pain of starving to death.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear not supporting the current money system.

I forgive myself the I have allowed myself to fear going to jail.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear what others will think of me if I no longer support the nonsense within this world.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear being deceived.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear trusting myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that the system of the world and all other human beings pre-programmed and pre-ordained life experience was set up in such a way that certain specific events take place to – instill fear in humanity so that I as all other human beings may be controlled and enslaved by fear.

Thanks for your comments for further discussions visit:


Desteni Universe

Introduction To Desteni/Desteni Income Plan Website

Questions and Perspectives: Perspective on ‘The Design of Love’ Interview

The Passing On Of The ‘Sins Of The Fathers’ Is In The Money Trail

What If I Were You – by Robot Virgins

Artist Andrew Gable – Purchase Prints @

John Life after Death Research Desteni

John F Kennedy ,The Elite, Bush and Ron Paul

The Biography of Khalil Gibran

Link to: “The New Frontier”- By Khalil Gibran

In an Equal Money System people will not mind lending a hand in the moment because we will be able to provide for ourselves, which means our level of stress will be reduced, which means our thoughts will become clearer. Our emotional level will improve and we’ll be able to experience ourselves as who we really are – for the first time in our life. Bring it on! Equal Money 4 All.

Self Assistance – Releasing Resistance – In Self Honesty

I have spent so much of my life stuck in a belief system about myself with regards to my lack of education and finally I have had enough.

The fault is all mine for accepting and allowing the current systems to determine for me who I will become and how I will move myself as actions of me within the system which is a design that is a part of me.

I judged myself according to what my mind perceived others would think of me or that they might not like me and in doing so I suppressed myself to a point unrecognizable even for me.

Because of this allowance of self,  I have either spoken loud nonsense within energy, or I became silence. I silenced me. Then I would allow justifications in my mind that ‘my silence’ must be caused by something or someone other than me.  The thought that someone won’t like me – was really that I wasn’t liking who I was.
More compounding then happened.  So the anger that I often sense within me is anger towards myself.  I have kept my own anger within myself to a quiet thought pattern in my secret mind that is no longer valid. I unconditionally forgive myself.

It’s like, how the hell did I exist for so long in such nonsense without considering and seeing the common sense in the effects that were accumulating by my participations in thoughts and feeling patterns as well as my emotional responses.
I have stopped. Because this was never about anyone else except me.  My own mind of which is my creation and my responsibility to stop.

I always wanted things to be ‘fair’, but ‘a fair’ is an idea of the mind – a place to ride rides that go in circles representative of the constant time loops lived of the mind –  a place of denial and dishonesty = affair
Life is not fair it is Equal. Equal as what I accept within the direction I’m allowing myself to move in self honesty and self forgiveness walking as all here.

Self Judgment Stopped.
No such thing as a fair judge ment.  The judgments I have granted upon myself do not even warrant the punishment of self abuse – that I then created as moments that I perceived were real experiences of me.
The energies are fading – the silence of me as who I am as all as one as equal is coming forth to be heard by me – to never forget what is truth in realizing who I am. I am going to muscle test to see if I must vlog. It seems I have more to say and that I must hear.

Equal is what I am and what all and everything here is. Equality individually lived as self willed actions to assist and support myself as all in every way possible in moving myself in self honesty as I face myself – to bring forth Equality and dignity for all.
Because Equality does not implore of one to give up their individuality. Equality is simply receiving exactly as one is giving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a resistance toward my mind. Instead I support myself as the directive principle thus not allowing my mind to try and understand a situation or generate energy to justify itself and instead I remain in self honesty as all as one as Equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forsake myself within thoughts that I then speak and live instead of realizing me here as breath and directing myself within the principle of oneness and equality standing in steadfast self willed action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain silent while others suffered instead of standing as them as me as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being uneducated instead of facing myself in self responsibility and directing myself to investigate how the current money system operates and functions and continues within the abuse and atrocity that it allows on all life. I direct and commit myself to assist and support all life equally in all ways.

Muscle tested yes to vlogging as self assistance:

Writing this out, and then allowing myself to vlog whatever come forth in the moment was so releasing and very cool self assistance.

Vlog Name & Link:

Secrets Of A Vanishing Breed