Archive | April 2012

Day 15: Relationship Failure: She’s Come Undone

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel as if a part of me is coming undone within at least two personalities of me as my mind within my relationship in that I feel as if I’ve become the lie in liability, where when I’m around my friends, I have confidence and a sense of assurance with/as myself however limited it may be, but then the moment my partner walks into the picture, it’s as if my mind goes into freeze mode as I attempt to teeter back and forth for pretend sake when really what’s happening within me is I hear my backchat saying, ‘she’s come undone’, which is me as the picture personality that I’ve accepted myself to be.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as two personality designs, both of which exist within my relationship as one being when I’m alone with my partner as the ‘love personality’ and the other one as who I am when I’m alone with friends as the ‘enjoying friends personality’, and when the two intermingle, it’s as if two worlds are colliding and I don’t know which one to hold onto or even if really want either one.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deny the existence of myself as a personality to my partner and my friends when secretly I realize that I’m not really fooling anyone except myself within a point of self-dishonesty and self-denial.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed and possessed in living the demons as me as the pictures in my mind of how I always believed and desired life and relationships to be even if it meant dishonesty towards another – instead of realizing that the picture in my mind as the demon/personality was put there by me as a way of avoiding me as who I really am beneath all the pain I’ve absorbed into and as me through fear and denial of myself as who I am in seeing that I am responsible for/ how here exists within this world of pain, suffering and hate and downright disregard to/towards life. I stop. I breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the sexual energy in the beginning of a relationship and/or encounter was anything other than the want/desire to have sexual intercourse as a way of maintaining me as a mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to presume the energy friction related to having sex with someone as being something that is worthy of building my whole life around as well as the future lives of children.

I forgive myself that I did not see and realize that the initial ‘feeling of love’ was and is Not practical nor sustaining. as I’ve seen and walked the energy of ‘love’ before and thus I realize that ‘love’ as it exists within this world cannot and will not last as an effective platform to begin a relationship into an agreement that will ultimately provide self-honest support between two human beings, nor does it offer any measure of sustainability of 2getherness as one within and/as a union to be one of intimacy, tenderness and communication.

I forgive myself for wanting to create myself into a love story that I heard stories about and/or saw in pictures, which I then added emotions and feelings to and created my own mind illusion surrounding the idea of a Love Story, thus only creating illusions as mind masturbation which can never be real within what is actually real within our physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create life as a reaLIEty of lies – instead of life walked in honesty to self as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself for the moments of resisting physical touch because I felt threatened by inadequacies that I had accepted as real according to an idea of myself within my mind based upon pictures that I gave myself based upon a principle born in self-dishonesty, self-loathing and self-hate.

I forgive myself for blaming others for how I perceive myself to be experiencing myself through the direction as the mind as consciousness as judgments, justifications, victimization and according to events/scenario’s within my life in which I’ve reacted to/towards.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to forget about the most important part of any relationship/agreement, that being first and foremost to breathe and direct myself in and as self-honesty and always according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become angry and resentful towards my partner when I’d get a sick feeling within my solar plexus and blame him for how I was experiencing myself in regret and embarrassment for denying and suppressing any point of self expression to emerge in an attempt to get my own attention so to stop what I was putting myself as my physical body as me through in self-abusive behavior in and as mind participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty and shameful in believing that I let my partner down when in fact it is Not possible to let one single individual ‘down’, it is only possible to let myself down by abdicating myself from life itself by Not standing up and facing me in self-honesty and calling out my own bullshit – and to STOP – Breathe and align myself through Self-Corrective Application Walking – because life is not about what’s best for one, Life is about what’s best for All.

Art By Ann Van den Broeck

I commit to stopping myself from excusing/validating and/or justifying internal reactions towards another and to always bring it back to self in taking self-responsibility in the moment.

I commit myself to making peace within myself through self-forgiveness and within self-honesty wherein I may direct myself in assisting all living beings in ways that are practical and best for all life and thus the foundation of all relationships in all ways.

I commit myself to getting self-honest with my mind as me to create and establish a relationship with myself wherein I remain an aware occupant of myself and to move myself as a point of change within and as my physical reality in a way that will result in what is best for all relationships as that which is best for and as all life.

“I commit myself to put all trust in right relationships where I will play the part of one pole to make sure that no uneven polarity is created through which life will be imprisoned to the illusions of energetic consciousness to make sure that life as the physical is respected and supported as it was intended as the dominion that was given.” Bernard Poolman

Visit the followoing Blog for Support with Relationships and Self Forgiveness:
Day 13: Failed Relationships
By Creation’s Journey to Life

Day 14: Savagery “A Cutting Tradition”

22 April 2012 – 100,000 women undergo brutal genital mutilation illegally in Britain (and some of the victims are as young as TEN) UK MEDICS FILMED THE OFFERING FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION yet, Not one person has been prosecuted for any offences.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to avoid looking at who I am and what it is that I’m accepting and allowing within how/what exists within our world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t seen/realized and understood that the abuse that exists within our world is not an isolated event and/or just a news story but is an actual experience that someone is going through and could have and may easily happen to anyone, thus it is the responsibility of each one of us walking this earth to walk in the shoes of another and bring about a solution that will end All abuse once and for All.

I forgive myself for ‘acts of tradition’ which are a clear message to humanity how/what exists within the secret minds of men as consciousness.

I forgive myself for wanting to ‘turn the other cheek’ in denying the fact that I am responsible for the numerous and unspeakable acts happening daily within our world to countless numbers of living beings.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed acts of genital mutilation to be done upon the physical body within this world to those who have no voice and are helpless in stopping the savagery being done unto them.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to ignore what’s really going on within this world while I sought to earn money, spend money and have the most money, thus not realizing that money has been my God and the Only God of this reality.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to avoid seeing within the pain of the female Muslims who are left scarred for life through genital mutilation with the goal being for the female to be unable to have orgasms and to be left with a diminished (or total loss of) sexual appetite, thus to further the hold of control and abuse.

Art By: Joe Kou

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to point fingers in anger and blame toward those committing acts of mutilation for the sake of making money to survive within our corrupt money system – instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that in my supporting our current money system I am thus supporting acts of mutilation as well as it is as all atrocity – the symptom of a diseased capitalistic and greedy world. I stop. I breathe.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to ‘hope’ things will get better when in fact I really have no idea the magnitude of suffering occurring in the lives of women and children daily and thus I must Stop and consider that hope is an illusion within the mind that isn’t real and that what is required is an actual real practical physical solution.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to gripe and complain but then look away from our world in shame and disgust and finally retreat in distractions and fear in not knowing what I as one person can do to change what is here – instead I see/realize and understand that what I can do is to face myself in self-honesty within what is here and direct myself to stand in support of an Equal Money System which will be the key in bringing an end to acts of terror and will create heaven on earth for all living beings.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that in order to stop acts of terror requires a fight when in fact the real solution of Equal Money requires one vote from us each one to bring about a world where all decisions are based upon what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed suffering of the young to go silenced within my own fear of standing up and saying STOP – No More.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself as the mind of consciousness to betray and abuse children in the name of religion and culture and self-interest and greed for the love of money and in fear of survival – Instead of asking questions and never stopping until a solution of equality brings an end to all abuse, slavery, corruption and control – because None are Free until All Are Free.

I commit myself to Never stopping until a system of equality exists wherein all life will exist in dignity.

I commit myself to assisting in bringing forth a world where No child suffers.

I commit myself to walking the process of self as the Journey to Life til all are walking the path of equality.

I commit myself to standing up for and as all life in stopping the nature of man as consciousness and allowing mankind to birth itself from the physical in and as an expression of life as all as one as equal.

“I commit myself to speak out and to publish and reveal in every way possible all the ways that the brainwashing and mind-control work till all wake up to the fact that all have denied life and have fallen in the trap of the money god that use rules and forgiveness that do not support life, but only support those that love the money god.” Bernard Poolman

“I commit myself to stop the money god through knowing myself as life and knowing what I have allowed as the personality so that I may correct and restore this world to its former glory before I as man arrived here.” – Bernard Poolman

I commit myself to Stand One and Equal as these Words.

Day 13: Oil and Water Don’t Mix

LOOMING CRISIS: OFFICIALS CLOSE GULF WATERS TO SHRIMPING AS REPORTS OF DEFORMED SEAFOOD INTENSIFY

2 Years Later after 205 million gallons of oil and 2 million gallons of toxic dispersant and now – widespread reports of visibly sick and deformed seafood. Again, reports are, there is a ‘full blown crisis’ coming out of the Gulf of Mexico.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to agree that’s it’s ok to rape and drill in the water of our earth in search for energy/money without questioning All possible outcomes and/or results of our actions and reasoning’s for doing so.

Art By: Matti Freeman

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing our current world systems of greed and self-interest which thrive off the chase to have money and power no matter the cost towards that which is given to us freely from the water, nature, animals and earth.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed without question the injection of hazardous materials to be impregnated into living organisms with no common sense understanding as to what the consequences of such actions will result in to those depending on life within the abused environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see atrocities such as the gulf oil spill and then turn a blind eye toward distractions of a more entertaining nature, thus never following through with a sustainable solution and/or a correction for all living beings threatened and/or murdered due to the negligence of the human nature of man through the direction of and as the mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to blame the major oil companies and/or the governments for the actions that caused the spill instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that atrocities as this are symptoms of the disease of capitalism within our current money system where life is disregarded in the name of profit.

I commit myself to stand within and as a point of self-responsibility and accountability in investigating and supporting a system that will bring about a world where all life is valued and supported wherein all living beings have a say in how and what is brought into the environment of which they depend upon to survive.

I commit myself to stopping the use of all products which have a toxic affect upon our earth, water and air within our environment and to in self-honesty see/realize and understand that that which I allow to be done unto another, I am actually allowing to be done unto me, thus in self-honesty I see/realize and understand that that which is best for me is best for all and as such I support an Equal Money System which supports what’s best for All.

“I commit myself to speak out and to publish and reveal in every way possible all the ways that the brainwashing and mind-control work till all wake up to the fact that all have denied life and have fallen in the trap of the money god that use rules and forgiveness that do not support life, but only support those that love the money god.” Bernard Poolman

I commit myself to Stand One and Equal as these Words.

Day 12: Woman on Top

Guarding:

I forgive myself that throughout my life I’ve often defined myself as a ‘woman on top’, wherein I took pride in displaying lack of emotions and feelings and/or giving the impression within my relationships that I could live with or without them, when if fact what I’d become was suppressed within myself, scared of being emotionally hurt, so to protect myself, I built a wall and guarded myself within an idea that ‘I’ was the one ‘in control’ of my relationships, and haha, no one could hurt me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be a loner who didn’t need and/or want for anyone, because that way no one could break the shell on the outside of me which I used to protect what I was existing as within myself which was sadness, loneliness and a suppressed expression of self.

I forgive myself for always being the first to walk away from a relationship in an attempt to ease the pain of a breakup which I feared was bound to happen so I prepared myself constantly from the possibility of emotional pain.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a ‘woman on top’, meaning how my life was moving in how I was directing my world, which actually meant existing in control/ego and fear.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to derive a sense of strength and power within the starting point/view of being one of opinion which charged my ego.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to always want, desire and need to be right with regards to insight, knowledge and/or information that I obtained through life experiences and, the women within my family that has gone before me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that the mind’s ego will always look for validation, conformation, respect and agreement from others because the mind’s ego cannot exist without others agreeing with it’s existence – that being of my opinion and my point of view.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to find insult with people/my partner/relationships who tell me to ‘calm down’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was mentally stable and strong, when in fact, all I’ve accomplished within that belief is to separate myself from my physical body and thus avoiding real intimacy within and as self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed money as a point of ‘relieving’ myself from the guilt in how I see myself as not providing enough to/for my relationships financially, so I sought ways to make earn/money to compensate myself to feel emotionally better.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to cause financial hardships through the pattern of gambling as a way to win money to pay for unexpected expensives and to make myself feel better for my lack of contributing money to the relationships – unless and/or when I didn’t win – which then compounded the already suppressed point further wherein I became distant and withdrawn from my partner within guilt of having spent money we didn’t really have to spend.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to ‘guard’ my relationship with money as a motive for manifesting a time loop for myself which was triggered by jealousy in an illusion of control in which I reacted to in belief that I was able to ‘control’ and direct myself through the point.

Jealousy and the Illusion of Control

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be on guard and manipulated within points of jealousy and the illusion of control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a self defined category of the mind as polarity friction in and as conflict between what is right and what is wrong.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be and become an emotional feeling demonic entity that I for a moment allowed to completely take over the experience of myself within a point of jealousy and the illusion and control.

I forgive myself that I hadn’t allowed myself to see/realize and understand that when jealousy exist the illusion of control exist.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become grouchy and irritable to/towards my relationship due to my dishonesty in not sharing the truth of what was going on within me because I feared they will walk away from me in their life.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to try and manifest and create into reality my wants, needs and desires which was the starting point behind the illusion of control.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed jealousy to drive me – instead of me seeing/realizing and understanding the core point being that of inferiority and superiority manifested within my relationship with myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want to control my mind, my body, my world, my money, and relationships by using wants. needs and desires to obtain that which I seek control of/within and as.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing the resonant nature of my most intimate relationships to influence me through my mind as jealousy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to for a moment exist within an energetic outflow of a demonic nature as jealousy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall and time loop a point because I believed I was able to ‘control’ myself when I saw the trigger point of jealousy and even when it ignited an energetic outflow, I was sure I would be able to ‘control’ and direct myself – instead of stopping, breathing and directing myself in self-honesty.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe the direction of my mind in the belief that I was trying to defend and protect my relationship when really I was trying to control my relationships within the context of how wanted them to be as well as how I wanted ‘me’ to be in relationship with that being.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within a pattern of self righteousness.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate within wants, needs and desires toward existence as a whole wherein I wanted to be equal and one in and with existence when in fact I was existing within inferiority/superiority.

When and as I see myself existing within the pattern of jealousy within the illusion of control – I Stop. I Breathe. I see/realize and understand the pattern of control as I’ve existed as it before – I direct me here within and as all as one as equal.

When and as I see myself existing within the pattern of self righteousness, I see/realize and understand that I’ve walked the path of self righteousness far to long and it is time to stop and forgive myself and re-design myself here breathing according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to investigating myself and my world within self-honesty and self-diligence in seeing/realizing and understanding myself within everything and as all here.

I commit myself to creating life on earth in a manner where woman and children and men and boys and animals, nature, earth, wind and water, All Living beings are of like expressions living proof that equality is the key to all cells of and as Self.

I commit myself to me in accepting and allowing the expression of me within and as self honesty to emerge as who I am as all as one as equal.

“I commit myself to recreate money as the root of all evil as the root of life that we may realize that it is not about what we create, it is about what value we give what we create and thus we can give money the value of life equally and use it as the way to bring to each other what is best for all life.” Bernard Poolman

I commit myself to Stand One and Equal as these Words.

Day 11: Blood Money or Equal Money

I’ve been educating myself with reading books on Government and Politics and as I was researching a topic on the internet I stumbled upon the following chart below. Have a look at the breakdown of what the average American household buys with their monthly income, based on government data from December 2011.

How People Spend Their Money (Stats)

The average household spends about 14% total for both gas and food and 32% for housing. Already that’s 46% of one’s monthly income which doesn’t include utilities and dining out expenses totaling 11%, which means we’ve just spent almost 60% of our monthly income. Factor in Doctors, hospitals and prescriptions, as well as car payments, car repairs, public transportation and furniture and other household items and/or maintenance, (there is actually plenty more spent on household appliances due to poor quality products with a built in expiration date) and also add in the price for caring for our pets.

Now we’ve spent a little over 80% of our monthly income. You can see by the chart where the rest of the money is going, and honestly, most are paying more on housing and much less on food than is suggested in the chart. There is barely, if any left over for proper child care – while both parents are working themselves to death, (if they’re lucky to have a job) and, there is absolutely no money left for tuition to educate our future generations.

These are the facts of life we’re existing as. Yet, some have the greedy idea that an Equal Money System isn’t the Solution. Of course, the one’s who don’t agree with Equal Money, already have to much money and/or have an agenda that is self-interest motivated.

“One out of two Americans … are living either in or near poverty. That means 150 million Americans, half of us.” — Tavis Smiley

We’re not even talking about the serious level of atrocity existing in third world countries that have been stripped of everything through the governments, banks and the elite who we’ve accepted and allowed to rule our lives.

The majority of us are not rich, are struggling and have far less than what an Equal Money System will provide for each one of us.

In other words – we can no longer deny it – it’s time to stand up as One Man, One Vote in support of an Equal Money System.

With Equal Money, one will only work a 4 year conscription, will have a home, food, clothes, clean water, utilities, the ability to properly care for your animals, the internet, a car, healthcare and, will receive an education.

The Goal of Equal Money is to bring forth for everyone a quality of life worthy of living, giving and expressing. No more stress. No more struggle. No more hating on your neighbor for having more than yourself, because everything will be distributed according to what’s best for all which includes the utmost care and respect for our planet Earth.

Artwork By: Rozelle Destonian De Lange

I forgive myself for taking for granted the things that money buys like clean water and a warm bed while many have never had either.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that the whole reason for being here is to work to make money to pay bills to survive and then to die.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to accept life any way it comes as long as I can find someone to take care of me with a roof over my head and food to eat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a dreamer of the mind as money in accepting the direction of ego, self-interest and greed.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become irritated for other peoples lack of common sense and lack of support in that they don’t/won’t see/realize and understand that our earth requires us to pay attention in gentleness to how we’re abusing it – instead I see/realize and understand that what I perceive in another exists within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself onto others wherein I have held onto a point of victimization as how I existed and in doing so I have victimized all life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think there’s something wrong with me because I feel fed up with what’s accepted and allowed here to the point that I want to tell others to stop it, forgive it, or fuck off. I stop. I breathe.

I forgive myself for the times when I doubt humanities ability to change as I see/realize and understand that within that I’m accepting a point of doubt to/towards myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed a point of disEase to exist within me as the mind as consciousness, a machine that I accepted as me and allowed infused within and as my physical body.

I forgive myself for the laws of the land that I’ve accepted and allowed which are abusing and raping our earth because I didn’t see and understand that through relationships and actions governed by those whom I’ve given power and therefore I abdicated myself from life as I looked past the abuse that I’ve seen but denied. I stop. I breath. I stand in support of and as all life in full commitment to assisting life as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take things personally as a way of justifying and manipulating myself through distraction techniques as a way of avoiding facing myself and taking self-responsibility for how our world currently exists.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to support a system that thrives upon the blood lost at the hands of those possessed in believing they must fight to have it all no matter the cost all in the name of money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to love the smell and rewards of money never considering whose died torturous deaths just so I can have fuel for my car.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to go uneducated about the history of our world in how we’ve reached the point wherein we don’t/won’t question the blood baths and loss of lives we’re all responsible for in our search for resources wherein we kill so that we may live to have more than another

Artwork By: Marlen Vargas Del Razo

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to blame and point fingers at others for how and why suffering exists instead of realizing that that’s how my mind has used me against myself to keep me complacent further avoiding actual action of stopping myself from self-honest change from the inside out.

I forgive myself for not realizing how my relationship with money is defining my reality and how the word real is actually the word relationship yet instead of me being a place safe for life, I’ve become a parasite in the name of money and I forgive myself that I’ve not had the courage and.or inner strength and steadfastness to bring sanity to the relationships on earth through which I have defined life. This I commit myself to so that life may be birthed from and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create from a starting point of fear of loss instead of realizing that my creation is equal to and one as me and thus I cannot lose my creation because my creation is me. I accept and support myself to stand in support of a quality of life befitting of and as all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall into the money pit wherein I existed in and as self-interest and greed as I chased after desires of the ego where the more money I made the more money I wanted and the more I feared losing it the more obsessed I became, thus remained trapped in cycles of energy illusions of up and down and up and down – instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that the mind will take me on as many rides as I accept and allow. I stop. I breathe. I No longer accept money as the God of me.

I forgive myself for waiting on my mind to decide for me to make a real change because that’s not going to happen. I see/realize and understand that equality is not part of my/our pre-programming and the decision to be self-responsible for/to myself as well as the world/earth/all so as to actually walk myself as the change that is required is going to require that I forgive, direct and move myself in and as self-honesty and self-corrective application according to what’s best for all. I commit myself to and as this – til it is done.

I commit myself to stopping and breathing and forgiving me, breathing and forgiving me when and as I sense doubt as me.

I commit myself to bringing everything back to self in seeing/realizing and understanding that in order to assist our earth/world effectively, I must first assist myself through consistent self-honest directive application and self-corrective actions as self so as to be able to assist others for us all to stand together equal and one to create heaven on earth through an Equal Money System.

I commit myself to honoring earth by facing me in self-honesty and forgiving myself till I see/realize and understand that all and everything here is a reflection of me showing me that we will not stop til all living beings are equally supported in dignity.

I commit myself to step out of ego into and as self-honesty and stand up for that which has always been here as life as all living organisms and cells until all living beings are supported as equals in living expression.

I commit myself to earth as life as the only relationship possible as it is the only relationship that is real.

I commit myself in agreement with life in supporting earth for a future for and as our children.

——————

“I commit myself to restore common sense to earth that the relationship with food can become one of life where the human can understand that food is in fact also an expression of a life form on earth that reach its happiness through its giving of itself that we may live.” – Bernard Poolman

“I commit myself to blow the minds of those who have engraved death into them as ego and self interest and individuality so that they may yet wake up to what is really here as life as the physical.” – Bernard Poolman

I commit myself to standing one and equal as these words.

Join Us – Investigate Equal Money

Day 10: Ways and Means of Money

Everyone has a story. When you hear or read someone’s story, it’s usually very easy to see yourself within it. The most common point within everyone’s story is each one’s ‘ways and means’ of making money in order to survive. My story and your story are individually different, yet, they’re the same. We’re both trying to survive and in order to survive, we have to do what? Have a way and the means to earn Money.

It’s the very core and nature of who and what we’ve become. Everyone’s doing it – trying to survive. You have your way and I have mine, but at the end of the day, we’re all the same. Existing in and as a never ending rat race toward an invisible finish line ending only in death. The odd thing is, we more often will blame anything and everything for the ways and means we go about trying to survive – except for the Inequality within and as our Current Capitalistic Money System.

Consider we don’t have to exist this Way – Commit yourself to investigating an actual Solution: Equal Money.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to constantly think about how I gotta change my way of living cause the blues is all I see as I struggle to give meaning to how and why I’m here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can’t change the ways and means in how I exist day in and day out searching/seeking to find a piece of myself in all that I have to finish before I can punch the time clock and go home.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become possessed and obsessed with myself for the things I’ve not done today and for the ways I behave just to make it through the day to earn the means to survive the ways of barely surviving.

I forgive myself for the things I’ve done as a means of supporting myself within a system that weighs one against the other in comparing who has what, who’s done the most and who is winning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always search for the way and meaning of myself through my God as Money.

I forgive myself for seeing the struggle of my neighbor and instead of assisting and supporting them I judged and gossiped about the fact that they didn’t have enough money to feed their children and I ridiculed them for not having a better paying job – instead of realizing that the pain and suffering of another reflects us Every-Body as who we are through and as the very blood/life running through our veins in all that we’ve denied and abdicated ourselves from as life as the means and the way to bring an end to pain and suffering and to act accordingly in producing the results for and as a life where all living being exist in dignity in respect to/as and of life itself of which we are all equally responsible for.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become so caught up in the illusion of life and of living through money that I didn’t see the how human beings are suffering and starving even if they’re right in front of me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become so accustomed to working and paying bills that I didn’t stop to consider that life is Not supposed to be this way.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to ‘not have the time’ as I passed by another instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that in my ‘lack of time state of mind’ as I passed another by, I am actually passing by the reflections/parts of me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within a parasitic nature where I’ve become dependent upon relationships according to how the relationship assists me in surviving within this GODFORSAKEN world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see/realize and understand that in allowing Money to Manipulate me, I will manipulate myself and others within my world.

I forgive myself for existing every day in the hopes of finding a better job instead of realizing that life is an expression – Not a JOB.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see/realize and understand that in being a slave to money, then money will become the slavery of the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am and how others will act toward me according to the amount of money I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be trapped and enslaved and controlled in an abusive relationship with Money.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to see the world and not see me, therefore I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be directed as consciousness – instead of me directing me within and as self-honesty in seeing/realizing and understanding that there is No other choice but to Stand In The Way of consciousness and Stopping the Means through which consciousness moves as the mind and manipulates through and as our Current Money System as the Deadliest Act Allowed and Followed of All Time as the Ways and Means of Ego, Corruption and Greed.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to in my fight for survival constantly compete in conflict with others and in doing so only considering what’s best for me instead of considering What’s Best for All. I Stop. I Breathe.

I forgive myself that I hadn’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand the extent of which competition and conflict exist within our world in and as our current money system wherein the distribution of inequality is based upon profit and gain in the Ways we are stripping our Earth of it’s Life Giving Means.

Art By Anna Brix Thomsen

I commit myself to stop worrying about what I’ve perceived as my problems, my money, my life, and my relationships and instead I commit myself to directing myself to considering and educating myself to see/realize and understand what is really going on within this entire world and humanity as a whole.

I commit myself to daily writing, self-forgiveness, walking and accumulating myself in an effective manner, supporting others as a living example in and as creating a world that’s best for all.

I commit myself to walking solutions that consider everyone and everything and to focus on that which will make a difference to the Life of Humanity.

I commit myself to stopping fear and standing in support of nature, earth, water and plants through and as gratefulness.

I commit myself to earth myself that I may be rebirthed to life and live my life as the extension of the earth as the hand of my maker that see that all life is given equally from the storehouse of life which is the earth. – Bernard Poolman

I commit myself to standing one and equal as these words.

Day 9: Matters of The Heart and Soul are Paved In Money

I used to believe that when I died I was going to heaven – the idea was that in order to make the journey, I required a ‘soul’ – which I connected with my heart area as being the place where the invisible thing, (the soul) was located. I didn’t realize then that the context of my belief was paved in matters of money because my ideas/beliefs/hopes and dreams for a life that I’d have waiting for myself after I die was within a belief rooted as the very foundation in which I’ve existed as as I’ve walked this earth.

The very relationship I defined myself to according to how I struggled in my numerous attempts to survive within our current world/money system, is all the same game… In my mind – the heaven I envisioned was rich in money with streets of gold and castles of silver protected by pearly gates.

It’s all quite absurd to me now, not only that I believed in a nice cozy heaven, but that the only way I was able to see a future for myself in such a heaven, was the same as envisioning a future for myself here on earth – of which there isn’t one, without money. It’s an interesting challenge for self and a worthwhile journey – to become aware of and be able to through self-forgiveness, and in self-honesty – stop the delusions of the mind. Join Us

Art By Matti Freeman

I forgive myself for always having to have money in order to see a future for myself here on earth as well as a made-up illusion called heaven as consciousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to focus on money so much that I never saw how I was existing with no self integrity and/or self value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that when a person dies their ‘soul’ become a ‘spirit’ and is thus only then separated from their body.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to within the soul construct fear to change, so much so that I’ve avoided changing because I didn’t want to give something/someone up for fear something might happen if I give it/them up and then I won’t Feel the same so in fact I fear Not Feeling.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing others interpretations of the bible to determine who I am – instead I stop. I breathe – I forgive myself and release the enslavement of mind control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my soul rises to God after death to be judged on where it will go next, (Heaven or Hell) – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding how it doesn’t make sense as the bible refers to the soul as being the mind and as such I have proved to myself how the mind as consciousness is not and cannot be trusted in it’s direction for and as life because life here as it currently exists is experienced as a place of immense suffering, pain and atrocity – Instead I Stop. I Breathe. I stand and direct myself in and as self-honesty according to the principle of what’s best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the beliefs/opinions of others unto myself of which I had no clue or understanding of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use justification as a defense mechanism through fear of being wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the soul was the heart of me as self – instead of realizing that the soul of this existence rests Only in the hands of those with Money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the trap of love of the heart and everlasting light – instead of realizing that the I acceptance of that begins in the mind as thoughts and manifests results as feelings and emotions within my physical body which is actually fear, suppression and self-denial and, an abdication of and as all life itself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deny that Money Is the backbone and reason for every religious doctrine existent and practiced.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become angry and judge old people as dumb and stupid for their beliefs and sayings of ‘bless his soul’ – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding them to be what’s left of a being as the life long living sign and a deadly give away as the reason why something here is amiss proving the mind as consciousness is crippling and must be stopped immediately through self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was a good soul because I worked my ass off to provide for my children when in fact I was existing within an energetic high of and as the Ego.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to always strive for love, light and positivity instead of realizing that what I was really striving for was to become, have and be more than others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to constantly only think about myself making money and what did I had to do next in order to do what I wanted to do which was really what I wanted to buy and/or what I thought I needed wherein I became so consumed that I didn’t even hear my own children telling me to slow down, breathe, and see and hear them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be blinded by the light of consciousness wherein I was consumed with hurrying and thoughts of ‘I have to get this done’ so I can hurry and experience that, all within the starting point of energy consumed with wanting and desiring more.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to convince myself within the polarity point of good/bad in telling myself that my intensions were good when in fact they were only paved in the energy of getting/having and seeking to make more money.

I forgive myself for deceiving myself into believing that I wanted everyone to experience bountifulness when in fact I secretly existed in greedy plans of having, needing and getting more than others.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be selfish, impatient and insecure wherein I make mistakes, and was out of control, and, have been at times hard to handle and, where within it all, the core starting point was my fear of losing and/or not being able to have enough money to provide the best for my babies.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept something/someone into my heart that was suppose to save me – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that in doing so I was denying life and denying my right to exist as life. I stop. I breathe. I direct me in and as self-honesty – I forgive myself.

I commit myself to facing the parts of me as my mind that I avoid the most in fear of who I’ve become so that I can forgive that which I’ve accepted and allowed and direct myself out of self-denial and into supporting all living beings in bringing forth a solution where all living beings exist within a dignified manner of living.

I commit myself to assist and support in any way necessary to bring about a world where All life is honored and Not one living being is left to cry out in hunger and fear and where a child’s expression is not silenced but instead is allowed to be heard all around the world.

I commit myself within and as this one life as me in self-honesty as who I am within and as my physical body to support our physical earth in seeing who we are capable of being in our acceptance and allowance of and as an Equal Money System for all Living beings.

I commit myself to walking my process in gentleness in forgiving/releasing all I am within the need of wanting to be special so that I may see who I am free from fear and definition and thus stand in and as a solid foundation of support of and as all here within the matters of earth and all life as all as one as equal.

I commit myself to focus on a one world system where all living beings are recognized as Equal.

I commit myself to the common sense that no saviour can ever change the world or make it a place worthy of life, only me as human can do that. Bernard Poolman

I commit myself to standing one and equal as these words.

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Fortunately, the Soul has been removed – though, the responsibility is in the hands of each individual being to identify and release self from ongoing patterns through self-forgiveness. For further perspective in understanding how the soul construct was placed into and designed to control mankind the following is suggested:

What was the Soul Construct and why did it exist?

Chakras, The Soul and Astral Projection

The Heart of Love

Please visit Desteni Forum with any questions