Day 292: Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much

Born in Middle Class America, my story isn’t special. Meaning, how I experienced myself growing up could be your story, or anyone’s story for that matter. Let me explain.

I was in second grade, around 7 or 8 when I first become aware of the variety of masks that people wear as their making some sort of a connection when they’re beginning a relationship with each other. I recall having strong emotional fears with regards to deciding which mask or character / personality to become even though I understood that it all depended upon the situation and the people and how I wanted to experience and express myself when being around them.

Bottom line, I was scared. Scared to get too close to anyone, because already by the time I was 7, I understood that people don’t stay, they leave. They go their own way for whatever reason and from the very beginning, I didn’t like subjecting myself to the emotional pain that inevitably happened when a relationship stopped / ended. It’s no surprise then that I can relate so much to the following quote:

“I find people around me are all making some kind of connection, like friendship or romance. But human bonds always lead to messy complications. Commitment. Sharing. Driving people to the airport. Besides, if I let someone get that close, they’d see who I really am and I can’t let that happen. So, time to put on my mask.” Dexter Morgan (Character) from the Showtime series: Dexter

I accepted early on in my life that what was going on within my mind with regards to my thoughts and my feelings and emotions within a fear of loss at the prospect of being rejected wasn’t worth giving my whole self to.  Because being rejected felt like losing a part of myself.  And so as I participated within and as ALL that,,, I withdrew into my own little world within and as my mind where I believed the lies that I told myself – which was that I didn’t want or need anyone to be happy, yet I was anything but happy.

So during my first couple of years in elementary school I remember spending a lot of time watching and observing other kids in my class. I envied the kids who would become the teachers favorite, and every day during recess I remember watching as the kids in my class ran around having fun together playing.   I remember wondering why I felt so alone and lonely inside myself and as I watched them go about their business, I experienced quite a bit of negative emotions and insecurity within and towards myself.  Inside my head, I was having thoughts / backchat,  asking myself what is wrong with me that I can’t seem to make the kind of connections with others that I see them making amongst themselves…

Almost in-spite of myself, by the time I reached middle school, I had established a few close friendships / relationships, both male and female. But even then, something within me in how I experienced myself within my relationships was off in that I felt like I never completely fit in with the relationship.  It was like I watched myself put on a mask, and depending upon who I was with, I would become some sort of character / personality, and in doing so, within my mind I began to blame and spite and resent others for how I was experiencing myself and I felt emotionally defeated.

I realize now that how I experienced myself back then and how I experience myself now with regards to my relationships with others, both individual or within a group, whether personal or business – had / has nothing to do with anyone else but me. Meaning, I am responsible for what goes on within me at all times and the same goes for what’s going on within and as my outer world / reality, because our outer world is a reflection of what we’re accepting and allowing to exist within us.

Therefore,  it’s important that I Stand Committed and walk this point through, breathing through the resistance in order to become stable and supportive within and as the Desteni Group , which is and has always been quite a pilar of support for me.  This I am currently walking the corrective application for,  but clearly,  my early experience into society as a child has influenced every relationship I’ve had…

 

Investigating the point now, I see how when I was a kid,  one of the things that would have assisted me greatly, would have been if someone – like my parents, or a teacher – would have been able to offer me support and guidance for what was going on within and as my mind, as thoughts and pictures, and the feelings and emotions and the fear!  That would have made a world of difference for me when I was growing up.

 

And I mean, it’s only been through walking the lessons in Desteni I Process Pro and applying the tools that the course provides that I’ve been able to understand for myself the goings on within and as my mind.  And more than ever, I see how important it is that we walk this life together supporting each other with a partner as well as walking within and as a Group.

The Group should be supportive of ALL Life, because let’s be serious, there is NO WAY that one person will ever be able to bring about the kind of change that this world and everyone in it so desperately seek.

The kind of change that is required to our monetary system as well as All the world systems.

And unless we stand together as a Group and support the kind of freedom where the Foundation of Life on Earth begins with making All worldly decisions based upon and according to what’s best for all. That’s the only way that we can ensure that money is no longer God and thus no longer the thorn in everyone’s side and then, when we stop stressing out over NOT having food, or water and a home and clothes and an education – when All that mess and stress ends we’re going to be shocked at how just that point alone will completely change the relationships we have with each other and the relationship we have with others within our world.

If one look at the history of man and how our relationships with one another are by way of our thoughts and feelings and our emotions – we can then see how participating in them keeps us from being able to be objective. And when we’re not being objective then we fall into the realm of subjectivity – which means our decision making is personal, and subject to the influence of opinions by way of beliefs and thoughts and feelings and even subject to how we’re experiencing ourself at any given moment. And come on, at this point the decisions made in this world is also made based upon ego and greed, profit and the fear of survival!

I mean, there’s a lot going on within our mind that we cannot accept and allow when making life and death decisions with regards to how our current monetary / world systems operate / function.

And, until we can understand our own minds – like how and why we think and react like we do – because what I’ve learned through walking the Desteni I Process course is that I can direct who I am as my mind and in doing so I am able to take responsibility for myself and for what and how I’ve accepted and allowed Life on Earth to be lived as.

It’s Time to Question Our Reality, and come together as a Group to agree on a money system that will support Everyone… If we can’t do that, then we’ll have to continue to suffer because Hell on Earth is just getting started.

Time to forgive ourselves and each other, and make the most important decision we’ll ever make, not in the name of ouself but in the name of and for the future of how Life itself will be experienced as dignified here on Earth.

 ENROLL TODAY!

New: Dip Lite – Free Course

Desteni I Process Pro

Ode to our Children

Visit the New:

Self & Living Channel

Day 248: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – I Can Do This – Day 31

Alright so last night I had a reaction within myself where I began to experience pain in the lower left side of my back. It was a slight to moderate slow throbbing pain that seemed to radiate inward. Now for a few months I’ve been making sure that I eat only that which nourishes and supports my physical body,  but I’ve only recently became more directive in applying self forgiveness for the experience of resistance – which I realize is related to energy, so it’s now time for me to take my process the step further – to bring the point through to awareness. Because what will happen when I experience a new ache or pain within my physical body is that I will immediately go into emotional/feeling energies which obviously creates added reactions within me physically which can result in further consequences for my physical body.

So last night when the pain became rather intense my partner reminded me to breathe and so as I breathed I was instantly able to ground myself which caused the pain to diminish – almost like the energy within me diffused itself as I breathed.

I realized in that moment that my physical body is supporting me but it’s me as my mind that is reaching / searching for a way to lose myself within my mind to energy which I’ve accumulated myself as through my participation in thoughts and feelings. So I’ve built up energy in relation to when I experience pain and I see, realize and understand that further commitment statements on my part is required in order to Stop emotions and feelings from overwhelming me.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself experiencing physical pain within my physical body – whether it be a pain I’ve experienced before or whether it be a pain I’m only now experiencing, I Stop, I Breathe. I direct myself to Stand in the shoes of my Physical body and I will Not accept and allow myself to have this point of self interest in terms of how I am reacting in emotions and feelings to separate me from the relationship and the process that I’m walking in my physical body.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that pain is an indication for me to stop and breathe and become aware of what my Physical body is trying to tell me – whether that be to seek assistance from a Physician or whether it be to Breathe!

I commit myself to Stop energetic reactions of emotions and feelings to overwhelm me.

I commit myself to Stand here with my Physical body as my Physical body and Not accept and allow emotions and feelings to overwhelm me.

I commit myself to bring this point through to awareness wherein I remain grounded and stable within and as my Physical body and my Physical reality.

****************

  Suggested blogs to follow:

Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

&

Activist’s Journey To Life

Day 247: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Forgiving Resistance – Day 30

Recently I’ve been facing quite a bit of resistance to writing, to finishing my DIP lessons, resistance to just about everything. So here I would like to Thank the Assistance I’ve received from Hannie / Sunette as I’ve been able to come to an understanding with regards to what I’ve been accepting and allowing. Thus with some assistance, I’m sharing here my Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment Statements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a failure according to an energy of resistance that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how resistance is merely an energy, though be it a persistent energy that seems so real that I in my mind cannot deny how real it is within and as how it overwhelms me in the physical and so in this mind-physical relationship to resistance – I allow it to be more powerful and overbearing than my directive principle/decision of who I am in every moment of breath and so give up/give into this energy of resistance.

When and as I see myself give in to this energy of resistance, I stop, I breathe, I direct myself to Not participate, to instead be the directive principle of me within the decision to stand and move myself according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my relationship to resistance, this mind-physical energy – in fact shows me my relationship to emotions/feelings within my mind, where I still accept and allow myself to believe that the reactions I have are “all that I am/is real”, because I have this reasoning that since I experience it physically then it must be real – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding how within this resistance, within the emotions and feelings,,, I am actually missing my breath, I miss Me in Breath and therefore do not realize the extent to which I am in fact in my mind within an energy that I experience in the physical – so, therefore, I am not in fact here, not in fact physical – I am experiencing it through energy within my mind and therefore,  I commit myself to STOP, to direct myself here as Breath.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how in my primary relationship to my mind – I’ve always trusted/used my mind as my backup, always leaning on and depending on my own thoughts/reactions for guidance – never seeing, realizing and understanding within this how with writing, with committing myself to changing Me – I am in my self awareness for the first time deciding to stand on my own two feet, to make my own decisions about who I am and so therefore – resistance will come through in moments of change, where it’s actually a habit to not step into that moment of change, that decision to change, of action to change, because I don’t know who I’ll be, in leaving the comfort zone of my mind, stepping into the unknown and so the force of resistance is me playing a balancing act with myself – between the known and the unknown.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the unknown is unknown, but, I know that I have me as I walk the unknown, that I have me in every moment of every breath, so in this walking the unknown, is actually existent a gift – a gift for me to learn to trust Me, to learn what it means to trust me, discover me and learn about me – and so, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use resistance as an excuse to rather trust who I am as my mind simply because it seems easier than me walking the process to learn what it means to trust myself, to depend upon myself, make decisions for myself, direct myself and ultimately change myself, thus, I commit myself to Stop using resistance as an excuse, as a reason not to move myself.

When and as I see myself as my mind using the energy of resistance to not face myself, to not move myself to write, to discover me, to learn about who I really am, I stop, I breathe – instead, I direct myself to move myself to write, to give myself an opportunity to discover for myself in self honesty who I am, to push through the resistance to self change.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the common sense in relation to resistance: that I do not in self awareness decide to create resistance when I sit down to write, that I make a decision to write, so where is the resistance coming from? This showing me how I have trusted the emotions and feelings and thoughts of my mind without question/introspection – and just because it’s suddenly there and it’s physical, I believed it to be real, however – I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider standing by/with my decision to direct myself within reality/the real world that I decided in Self Awareness to do, because I know then that I made the Decision to do this direction, to walk this point – of which I Trust – when I see the resistance comes up seemingly out of nowhere – this I should question and so, I commit myself to assist and support myself to stick to my Decision, my living actions such as writing, which I can trust, that I decided to do and to walk and to Not accept and allow any automated reaction/emotions/resistance to interFear with me establishing my self trust in that which I decide and what I walk in reality.

****************

“The Difficulty with change is obviously that there will be Resistance, it will be Difficult because you are busy Transforming that which is Within you as your Memory, your Thought, your Personality, your Past Into a Living Being that Lives at the Cutting-Edge of Time with such Vigorous Principle that You can be Trusted with Life; when you are Functioning as Consciousness: You can’t be Trusted with Life, just look at the Planet Earth and What is Done to it by the Human Race and you know That is the Evidence that Time is Showing us, that’s Our Writing on Earth, How we are Living, that is the Story, the Life-Book that is the Reality of the Truth.”

Bernard Poolman

****************

  Suggested blogs to follow:

Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

&

Activist’s Journey To Life

Day 246: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Process Update – Day 29

Artwork By Marlen Vargas Del Razo

In the latter part of 2007, shortly after I began applying the tools of Desteni, (soon I will be sharing my Desteni Witness Blog for further clarity), I remember ‘thinking’ that if I were to come down with some sort of disease or illness, that I would not waste a minute, that I would take advantage of every moment and apply the Desteni tools to assist myself to get well.  Little did I realize then, that doing so, would be my biggest  challenge.

So, here I am with breast cancer and walking daily a strict diet and routine where often I am physically ill and so the reality and the extent of years of brainwashing/programming often gets the most of me. All the thinking I’ve participated in over the years offers nothing for me in the way of actually assisting and supporting me physically, and, even though I have proved to myself over the past 5 1/2 years the effectiveness of the Desteni tools when applied, I still have resistance and have to push myself to share my process here because who I am as my mind, doesn’t want to write about it…

So, despite my resistance, I’m here, to give a brief update about how my alternative treatment plan for cancer is coming along…Please Remember, this is My Treatment Plan and that everybody’s individual treatment plan will differ…

Alright so recently I’ve come to understand more about the ‘lump/tumor’ itself. Meaning, in the beginning I had expectations in that I believed that the lump would ‘hopefully’ decrease in size. I now understand that that is not entirely so.

 “…the tumor is merely the symptom of the disease, that most tumors have only a relatively small proportion of cancer cells: consequently, getting rid of the cancer often leaves behind a tumor of benign tissue as a memorial to the victory of nature over the disease. To use the reduction of tumor mass as the primary test of efficacy is indefensible from a scientific point of view and is further evidence of the appalling ignorance of orthodox researchers.” ~ John A Richardson, M.D.

“What water is to thirst, so normal metabolism is to cancer.” – John Richardson, MD, Richardson Newsletter, 1978.

Alright so, in the past 3 to 4 weeks there have been some noticeable changes:

*All pain/energy that I was experiencing a couple times a week in the area of my breast where the lump is located has stopped.

*During my “On” Cycle, ( which is what I refer to when I’m on the Pancreatic Enzymes) I notice that now the lump/tumor itself, it swells. I’ve learned that is normal and can be compared to what happens when one smashes their thumb in that the cells in the area itself will swell as a way of protecting itself.

So basically the lump is attempting to protect itself from the Pancreatic Enzymes which is cool in that I now know that the Enzymes are getting to the cancer cells and ridding my body of them.

 “At least 86% of all cancer conditions could be adequately treated and/or prevented by diet and pancreatic enzymes.

Cancer is a symptom of inadequate and deficient protein metabolism. The real problem is protein metabolism, not cancer. Cancer is only a symptom telling those who would listen that their protein metabolism is in very serious trouble. 

One hundred years ago Dr. John Beard at the University of Edinburgh discovered that the body’s primary mechanism for destroying cancer is contained in pancreatin, a secretion from the pancreas that includes enzymes for digesting protein (among other things). Enzymes digest or liquefy foods for absorption by the body. Dr. Beard presented pictures in his books and papers to show recoveries using pancreatin. This was an unprecedented approach to treating the symptoms of cancer — a direct attack on the malignancy with a substance that did not have toxic side effects on the other functions of the body.” ~ Dr. William Donald Kelley, D.D.S., M.S.

*Recently, I also finished what’s called ‘The Liver-Gallbladder’Flush, and doing this thing, was like living proof for myself of how our mind will direct us to ‘fear’ that which we’ve never heard of or done before. I mean it has taken me 3 months to ‘get up the nerve’ so to speak to finally do this and the ‘idea’ within my mind was waaaaaaay worse than the actual physical process of doing so. And the benefits of doing so have assisted my physical body greatly so what I’m realizing is that it doesn’t matter whether my mind likes the idea of something or not, what matters is that which will assist my physical body. Liking and disliking things is nothing but a lie that our mind would have us believe in and I am no longer willing to participate in that sort of bullshit.

*Another thing I’ve added recently that Dr. Kelley suggests, is every day I liquefy 3 to 6 heaping tablespoons, (but no more than that) of raw beef liver to my morning juice. Another fear that I’ve had to walk the self corrective application of,  and in doing so have realized that taking the liver is making a Huge difference in that I am having more strength and a general awareness of how much my physical body is lovin it.

“Liver is a wonderful energy food and cannot be surpassed as a blood builder. It is especially crucial for leukemia and lymphoma patients, as their blood is unusually weak. However, all cancer patients can benefit from the intake of raw liver before noon each day. In the mid 1960s, when Dr. Kelley was told he was in the final stages of pancreatic and liver cancer, he found that raw liver blended into carrot juice gave him strength when everything else he ate made him feel ill.

Raw organic, antibiotic-free and hormone-free liver contains a multitude of live enzymes, amino acids and other intrinsic factors that science has not yet identified, which are destroyed when the liver is cooked. (References to “intrinsic” or “unidentified” food factors are fairly common in nutritional literature. They result from clinical reactions, which cannot be linked to known nutrients. Raw liver for cancer patients is an excellent example of powerful therapeutic, but unexplained, effects.) There are no supplements or drugs that can take the place of raw liver; none are in any way comparable in their effects. Eating raw liver ensures thorough digestion and the replacement of expended nutrients, promoting excellent health.” ~ One Answer to Cancer

*Just to note here that at the moment, I’m only able to stay to the ‘ON Cycle’ for 7 to 9 days where in the first month I was able to stay ‘ON’ for 10 to 13 days – this then is when I become toxic,  which at this point begins with a severe headache – which means it’s time to go OFF Everything to give my body 5 days to recover and repair itself.

*I’m also seeing that I’m having more pimples on my overall physical body which is cool because this is another way my body is getting rid of the cancer.

*I’ve now had 2 HCG Specimen Tests or, The Titer Urine Test, both of which I get the results of through ‘The Navarro Medical Clinic‘, which is under the direction of Dr. Efren Navarro. I will be taking the test again in 2 months.

Here are my results:

Dear Cathy,

Your latest HCG Test Result on 07/20/2013 is:
Index + 4,(53.0 Int. Units)

This is within the positive range. It remains unchanged as compared to the last one on 06/05/13(53.0 IU).

It has been a month or more from the last test and Alternative medication takes time and at times the result may take longer to go down. At least, this one did not go up which is good.

I suggest that you do continue with your alternative regimen.

A range of 49 or below will indicate remission: Interpretation of Readings

Wishing you the best of health, I remain.

EFNavarro,MD

*I’ve also been experiencing some overall pain throughout my entire physical body. Though, the pain is greater in the area of my lower left abdomen and my upper back and neck area. Fortunately I’ve been able to assist myself through/with breathing techniques given to me specifically during my weekly chat with Sunette Spies.

So, the biggest problem is Not my physical body as it’s doing quite well actually. The biggest problem is and has always been who I am and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as, as my mind as Consciousness.  This I am becoming more and more aware of and I will continue to direct myself to stop the self interest of and as it that I’ve consumed myself as for my entire life and Direct myself to investigate, forgive and release the constructs and preprogramming and re-design myself according to what’s Best for All.  Because I’m coming to a clearer understanding within myself, that life is not a lesson, but more an opportunity to Face All of who we are within all and everything that is here.

It’s too bad that we accept and allow Money to be that which motivates us, because in the end, Money isn’t even real enough to go with us when we die. In the end we won’t want a huge pile of money sitting beside us to bid us farewell, No!

So, how come we don’t ask ourselves why we’re so afraid to Give to All that which only those with Money are able to receive when we could All come Together in Agreement and Give to All that which we would Each like to Receive?

Investigate: Living Income Guaranteed proposal.

****************

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that resistance to change is indicating the control of the accepted and allowed patterns of my current limited version of me as self interest that occupies the space and time that I realize I must change to become that which is best for all life as me in the part I am as participation in the current accepted whole as the one system that exist as humanity and this world.” Bernard Poolman

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it acceptable that others may suffer by the effect I cause while I take time to sort out my priorities without regard that at this moment, while I am occupied, another is in a position that will improve faster if I act immediately and with sustained consistency till that which is best for all life is here in every way.” Bernard Poolman 

“I commit myself to prioritize my life to that which is best for me in the way that it is best for all life realizing that I cannot do it all, but what I do I must do well and in the full understanding and certainty that I will produce me as the optimum life form here that will be best for the process to life. I commit myself to consistency in action with the understanding that as I walk to life, that which I become as life will become easier through time and I accept the pressure and resistance that will go along with the reintegration of that which is best for all life as I understand that the resistance are the indicator that makes the reality of the process measurable.” Bernard Poolman

****************

Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

&

Activist’s Journey To Life

Day 244: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – What are you Really scared of? – Day 28

So yesterday I ate quite a bit of watermelon. Watermelon is a natural diuretic and assists our kidney’s to rid themself of toxins which is awesome. However, the problem is that when I eat so much of it late in the evening then when I go to bed, I’m like up every hour and a half to pee. So every time I got up last night to pee, I became aware of how my mind took the opportunity to attack me with backchat and internal conversations which went like this:

“what if what I’m doing doesn’t get rid of the cancer“
“what if I am dead within the year”
“I don’t want to die!”
“what am I going to do if the cancer doesn’t go away”
“no one will miss me when I die”
“I don’t want to have cancer”
“I’m sick of having cancer”
“What am I going to do, I’m scared“

Alright, so this sort of backchat went on all night long and this is not the first time. So it’s time for me to stop avoiding investigating what’s really going on within me when this happens. Because I mean, what I know about my mind as consciousness , is that it doesn’t really lead, it pulls and pulls until it enlists our full participation and when that happens, nothing else matters except the fear that one is then locked into and as.

And,  the fact is, even though I’ve always been aware of my fear of death and/or the fear of losing one of my children to death, I’ve never slowed myself down and actually investigated what the hell I’m actually scared of. Because I mean, everything I know about death and dying I’ve learned either from teachings from the bible, from friends and family and/or from what I’ve seen in movies.

So,, as I look at the backchat/ the thoughts, I already realize that when facing them, the fear of them is instantly gone. I realize that my fear of death isn’t necessarily an actual fear of dying,  but more a fear of missing out on what may or may not happen to my relationships if I’m not here – like will my partner find someone else/replace me and/or will my children and my grandchildren miss me?

Mostly, what I’ve come to realize it that my fear of death is embedded deep in self interest. This is not really surprising because everything about me and how I’ve lived my life is/has been deeply rooted in self interest.

I mean it’s insane really because my fear of death is more the fear of disturbing the emotional happiness of my mind. Meaning, me as my mind just wants to ‘feel’ better and in my pursuit of happiness, I’ve never considered the happiness and well being of others.
I also have to consider how in the past 3 months since I was diagnosed with breast cancer, many of my daily habits have changed and this has caused me as my mind to feel uncomfortable and like I’m losing my perception of being in control.

For instance, I used to spend a lot of time cooking for my partner and my family, but now that my diet is so restricted, I no longer spend a lot time in the kitchen. Instead I have focused on putting the needs of my physical body first and honestly, me as my mind hasn’t liked it.

My mind wants to take precedent over my relationship with my physical body and it’s looking for me to validate it in some way because after all, I’ve taken away my favorite foods, I no longer take drugs or smoke or participate in energetic goings on like gambling and gossip.  And, I’ve been standing strong in the commitment I made, to for the first time in my life, give the utmost care and attention to physical body and quite frankly, me as my mind, isn’t taking kindly to it.

I mean it’s interesting in that we say we fear dying but we’re not actually interested in taking care of the one thing that keeps us here, which is our physical body.

So definitely more than anything it’s my self interest  as my mind that fears death, and as such is taking every opportunity to get my attention because it wants, needs and requires energy!  And one way to get energy is through emotions, feelings, reactions and fear.

The fact is, what I’m really scared of is the fear of not living This life to its fullest potential, and, I fear giving up and I fear failing. I fear that I will forget what I’ve come to see, realize and understand as the most important part of living, Giving to All that which I’d like to receive.

So, how I will stop myself as consciousness from attacking myself and giving up on myself?  With self-forgiveness,  self-corrective application and self-direction.   And, Fortunately, through Desteni I Process,  I have just the tools to assist myself to change the nature of who I am within self interest  and fear.  To direct myself to walk this moment, this life, in a way that will bring about a world that supports All life, according to what’s best for all…

Ok, that’s all for tonight.

***************

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to stop causing side-effects of destruction and hatred, for as long as we are on the receiving end of the positive effect, we claim in our own mind that we must be acting in acceptable ways that those that are effected by the negative side of the effect brought it upon themselves, demonstrating the extreme level of self-interest used as the starting point to abuse cause and effect on Earth.” ~Bernard Poolman

“I commit myself to bring to awareness that life abdicated to self-interest is in fact the abdication of the right to life which will become clear at death, yet the common sense of the effect is in fact realized by every human in spite of the overwhelming voice of self-interest in the head.” ~Bernard Poolman

***************

  Suggested blogs to follow:

Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Day 243: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – View from Within – Day 27

Last night I had this dream. In the dream I saw myself as the adult that I now am talking to the child that I once was. At first what I saw was myself as haven fallen and struggling to stand up or,  I wasn’t getting up, I was just sitting there after having fell. Then, I saw the child in me reaching with outstretched arms as I extended my hands toward myself and finally, I took a hold of my own hands and I stood up.

Then suddenly I saw myself sitting behind a desk. I saw myself as being the teacher, as the teacher I was handing myself as the small child I once was,  a notebook. The notebook was opened to a particular page and I told myself in that moment to read what was written upon it.

I looked at the page and saw that it was my handwriting and I saw how in the writings I was asking myself questions. As I glanced at the notebook, I caught only a glimpse of my own answers. See, I didn’t actually stop to read in detail the words on the paper that was before me. I didn’t stop to read all the questions I’d once asked myself and I didn’t stop to see my own answers. When I saw that I wasn’t reading the words I had written I became aware of how filled with regret I had become.

In many ways it was as if I was seeing periods of my life where the answers were there but I was walking away from them as me.

I wasn’t giving myself the moment to see myself for myself, to see who I am within the words and the definitions I’ve given to myself as them. I wasn’t slowing myself down to see me, and, it was almost as if within myself I could see how I’ve been digging my own grave so to speak.

It was kind of like how one might experience themself if they were to take a shovel and dig deep into the dirt. Digging/reaching for a treasure of sorts and then stopping and walking away exactly at the precise moment when the treasure is about to be found. Leaving oneself stuck within the beLIEf of there being a treasure in the first place, never being quite being able to touch it, yet continuing to seek and desire the energetic experience of doing so.

What was interesting is that it was as if I was showing myself the possibility of who I can be, who I am, free from the things that I’ve given value to.  That point is key because, I realized that when I was that small child, I didn’t dream of nor imagine who I’d be if I had money. As a small child I didn’t value myself according to something that I could get, have, need, desire and/or experience as money/energy . So, as a child, eventually, I put myself on hold because I began to place value in something outside of myself as being greater than myself and I learned to do that with money/energy in an attempt to fulfill an illusion of grandeur/self interest.

It’s like chasing a high and finally realizing that you can never actually be/have or get that which you believe you must have because the value you’ve placed in that which you’re reaching/searching for was never real in the first place,  because the thrill/idea of it began first within your mind – within the memories and the personalities and feelings/emotions and the thoughts that we participate in and how all of that is part of self simply because we accept and allow it.

What happens every time I place value in/with money/energy/experiences? In doing so, I leave myself vulnerable to consequences and in the process, I forsake me as my physical body/physical world/reality.  As that, it’s not possible for me to take responsibility for myself or my world.

The more and more I participate in  the memories, the personalities, the feelings/emotions and/or the thoughts within my mind,  the more I overlook the value/money that I attach myself to as them, and then, I became very expensive unto my own self. Then it’s like I can’t even afford to give myself the time of day.  Then, I’ve placed myself in the position within my world where I’ve become part of the very value/money system that is The Problem within our World instead of the solution.

In doing so, I’ve taken and taken and as I’ve taken from others, I never realized that I was taking from myself. So to give as one would like to receive makes more sense to me now because as we give to others we receive unto ourself – that which we’re giving – it comes back to us equally.

So, the value/power we give to money – in that Money is God, in that Money gives us the ability to eat and provide for our physical bodies – it’s what gives us the ability to exist here on earth. We’ve overlooked an important point, that giving money power over life, gives value to our fears – instead of producing practical solutions that will guarantee a dignified life for All living beings.

As children, for a moment we can see that providing equally for everybody makes sense, but then we become stuck, searching for answers outside ourselves through entertainment/energetic experiences, such as love and light and god and hope and before we realize it, we are stuck, enslaved to a world/money system that values profit and gain over life.

As my dream continued, I saw myself as the child I once was, how at the end of the day there is no big great mystery. And that as a small child, I didn’t even know to care about money/energy. All I wanted was to see, realize and understand the simplicity of giving and receiving of/as life itself, to see that Heaven on Earth is within our reach within ourself, within who we really are and that we have the ability to manifest and create it within our world.

I am grateful in that my dream assisted me to remember to apply daily the tools that I’ve acquired through Desteni I Process as they are priceless.  That the answer to who we are and how we are connected to each other, the key to the answer to all that is here, is in the simplicity of Give as you’d like to Receive.

My dream ended with me holding onto my notebook within the realization of the importance of investigating myself daily through writing/blogging and self honesty and then, I caught a peek of myself in a mirror and I saw my breast and it looked different/changed in that the lump/the cancer, it was gone, as if it had never really been there to begin with. So for me this dream is me giving me that push to stop fearing for my future and start applying myself within each moment,  breath by breath…

*************

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never speak from the heart of earth, but instead created an illusion of what gives life as the heart of the mind where I have invented energy and named it in the image and likeness of my self interest and called it love, from which I moved and have my being as the illusion I have projected and in this act of creation I have separated myself from that which gives life and ended up as the image and likeness in abuse as I imposed upon all other life forms the version of the heart where words are spoken in vain in spite of the evidence of abuse that I participate in as the world system.” ~Bernard Poolman

“I commit myself to in every way possible remind those that are lost in the mind as energy and self created hearts of love, that they can give this up in one breath and begin their journey to return to earth, but that this journey will be tough as each will be measured in every way to see if you will ever again abuse life that was given freely and enslave it to an illusion to such an extent that life disappeared, so extensively that only a tiny spark remain. To rekindle this spark will take a complete rebirth and re-education as the body have been subjected to tortuous enslavement from the illusion from the beginning of time. Thus I commit myself to bring to an end and to set that which is life free that we may be here together as life as one as equal.” ~Bernard Poolman

*************

  Suggested blogs to follow:

Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Day 241: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – The War on Cancer – Day 26

Alright so I’m just now recovering from a virus that was kicking my butt for about 5 days, so much so that I finally had to sit still, breathe and have a talk with/as it.  That sounds kind of weird even to me but the fact is it was in that very moment that I became aware of what was the beginning of me getting well.  When I became sick I had to stop taking my enzyme therapy so here I am again and tomorrow I will begin again with day 1 ‘On’ Enzyme therapy, as I’ve just finished day 5 ‘Off’ to give my body time to recover.

Ok so it’s been almost 3 months now since I was diagnosed with cancer and began the Metabolic Cancer Diet and I can only say that remaining consistent with it has been quite the challenge. The truth is if it weren’t for my consistency in applying the tools offered through Desteni for the past 5 years, there is No way I would have come close to having the discipline to do so. I consider myself quite capable and well prepared as a result of the Desteni Material to face myself within this Journey and I am committed to continue to share my story within blog posts to come.

I would also like to share how for the cancer patient, or for that matter, for anyone, it’s important that we stop the separation amongst us. Life in our world is hard as hell and until we come together as a Group and Stand as one peacefully, to bring about real change with a Real Solution – such as with Equal Money – nothing within our world will ever change.

I mean, we’re allowing the suffering of Millions while those who are rich are getting richer. We do Not have to continue to accept and allow our world to exist this way…

Alright, I will close for tonight sharing the following:

“The Cancer Victim should take careful note that the support organizations of these plunderers also derive their income as leeches from the ignorance abounding in the Cancer misinformation mania of our civilization. From the American Cancer Society, the National Cancer Institute, the various Aids organizations, to the Cancer Control Society, to the Cancer Clinics in Mexico, a lot of money and misinformation changes hands with very little TRUTH or HELP.

I am taking the liberty of listing briefly some of the techniques used by the Establishment since the 1960’s to SUPPRESS THE CANCER CURE, to maintain their control and further their 100 billion dollar a year “Cancer Racket.” My trials by Establishment experiences have been extensive in the field of medicine and particularly the area of CANCER. Your first reaction to this is to stop here and mark this off as the ranting and ravings of a religious right-wing NUT. However, you do have a brain, no matter how washed and laundered and programmed it may be.

The Medical Establishment does not want a CURE FOR CANCER and absolutely will not permit a CURE for any reason at any cost.

CANCER is a very simple dysfunction to properly treat.

The CANCER VICTIM must treat the cancer himself as the physicians in our society are not permitted to treat CANCER, only the effects of cancer.

It is most difficult to CURE your own cancer.

The Establishment deceives you with a multitude of tricks.

It takes dedication and hard work to follow the correct Metabolic Program

The Establishment plunders Cancer Victims.

Cancer Victims are used and abused Establishment research animals.

In 1904, only one American in 24 had cancer in his lifetime. In the 35 years since I cured myself of terminal pancreatic cancer and guided some 33,000 cancer victims to health, the CANCER RATE has increased from one in five, to now, as you read this, the CANCER RATE is one in two. And the Cancer Industry calls this Progress Against Cancer — the lie, the big lie. The War on Cancer is the plundering war of our peoples, not a war on cancer.” Dr. William Donald Kelley, D.D.S., M.S.

************** 

  Suggested blogs to follow:

Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Day 240: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Pill Popper USA – Day 25

I read an article today that reminded me that I used to be a pill popper. It was called: Confessions of a middle-class pill popper.

I took pills that provided me with whatever mood or rather energy I was searching for. I learned how to manipulate health care professionals until before long I had my own legal tender for the purchase of uppers and downers.

Throughout my life, I have through popping pills, put quite a strain upon my physical body, and even now, as I’m realizing the extent that drugs have on our pancreas, I question, how do I know that I would do it differently if I had the chance to?

I had a woman tell me recently, (after she heard about the Metabolic Diet),  that if she weren’t able to eat the things she loves – like cake and pie and fried chicken and mashed potatoes – that without those, she wouldn’t want to live. What does it say about us as a humanity when the energetic experience of doing so is so damn important that one implies they would rather die than go without something?

I never spoke it out loud, but in my secret mind, I used to think the same about going without pain pills or the adderall that I used to take daily.  I depended upon and looked forward to my daily buzz.

Every single day for at least 12 years, I took some kind of prescription medication because I was convinced that I needed some sort of high to make it through my day. And after all, my Doctor prescribed them, so what I took was ‘legal’ in my mind, and I was sure they enhanced my ability to function.  Not!

It’s been just over 5 years since I stopped popping pills. I was able to stop through applying the tools suggested by Desteni. Before then, I never considered the accumulated effect that taking pills every day would eventually take on my physical body. I never really considered that over loading my body daily with chemicals would overwork my pancreas which can lead to cancer...I’m not saying that everyone who abuses their body with popping pills will get cancer, however, there is always a physical consequence to be considered when there is abuse allowed.

I also never considered how much profit was made off of me by the Pharmaceutical Industry. They survive off of addictive behaviors, mental illness and diseases such as cancer. Just recently I was talking on the phone to a relative of mine who’s 75 years old with lung disease and on oxygen. He was complaining about how much money he pays the Pharmaceutical Industry every month. How for just over 9 years he’s had to take two prescriptions that his Doctor prescribes for his lung illness and between just those two medications, he spends $900 a month. He spends another $300 or so on other meds as well. His monthly pension check barely covers the price for all of them.

The thing is, millions of people every day take pills.   It’s time we begin to question the chemicals we’re putting in our physical body.  We are long over due to see the common sense to our situation within our world. I mean, at what point do we finally step back and assess our world/money system and finally put a Stop to living in ways and means which are killing us? When will we realize that our behaviors, our endless search of energetic experiences, are leading to our demise? When will we change the very nature of the system that keeps sucking us in? When will we recognize that there IS a Solution?

Investigate Equal Money

Must Read:

Day 140: I Need Adderall: Requirement, Addiction, or Justification? 

 Day 379: This is for all You Pill Poppers

Day 381: Don’t Blame Me! I have a Disease!

************

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if One Cannot Exist in the flesh as what is Best for all Life in Limitation, One will also not Be able to Exist as What is Best for Life in any other Reality, and as such will be Making a Decision that One is in Fact NOT Life, as is Demonstrated at Death – if one Could Have Seen Beyond Death, but One Can Only See What One in fact is, and that which is NOT Life, but only Energy, can Only See Energy and Remains as Energy, Cycling Infinitely as Energy, never to Actually Become Life for real.” ~ Bernard Poolman

“I commit myself to SHOW that as Long as Energy is the Dictator, the Result will be a Dictatorship where Life is Not Honored and the Self-interest of Energy will Prevail, as Energy Requires Energy to Continue, and Once Energy Ends, the Image and Likeness Energy Formed, Ends.” ~ Bernard Poolman

************

Day 239: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Grounding myself – Day 24

For Context Read: Day 238: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – The Four Laws of Cancer – Day 23

Two days of sweating for 35 minutes in a portable sauna and already my physical weakness subsides. I increased my enzyme intake to taking 12 six times today, and usually, this causes me to feel physically heavy, however, sweating out some of the toxins certainly made a difference. This being my 5th day back ‘On’ the enzymes, is also the day that i usually experience a kind of brain fog that usually lasts about 24 hours, but today, it seems that that is also slighter.
One thing I’m realizing is how I’ve always taken for granted the very things I have to have in order for my physical body to sustain itself. Like clean drinking water for instance, that’s an important luxury within our world where millions go without.

I mean I cannot afford to ingest water with chemicals in it because I cannot afford to waste any pancreatic enzymes on dissolving chemicals when I need them to dissolve the cancer.  And yet look at our world/money system.  It simply doesn’t provide adequate water supply to Everybody even though common sense says it should.

Another thing I’m realizing is how much I am dependent upon positive energetic experiences that I get from what seems like the simplest of things. Things that I haven’t completely given up yet, like for instance splurging on a cup of coffee or even a piece of gum – both of which are not allowed on the Metabolic diet regime.

But I mean when it comes down to it, what will I give up so that I may live?  And why is it within our world giving up is the thing we do that we call living?

I must say that I am only beginning to realize the depth of my illusion and the extent that me as my mind will go to keep my illusion intact – which is actually an absense of control within an illusion of being in control.

An important question that keeps me grounded during those times when the desire to partake overwhelms me, is to ask myself: Will the decision I make fit into the Equality Equation and will it stand according to What’s best for All?  That keeps everything in perspective.

Alright it’s time for bed…

*********************

  Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Day 238: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – The Four Laws of Cancer – Day 23

The following taken from the Book: One answer to Cancer by William Donald Kelley, D.D.S., M.S.

The Four Laws of Cancer
You cannot have cancer unless three factors are present.

These three factors are:
The presence of an ectopic germ cell
The stimulating presence of the female sex hormones
A deficiency of active pancreatic enzymes

First Law: The Body Fails to Produce an Adequate Amount of Active Pancreatic Enzymes for One of Three Reasons:

83% — Overworking the pancreas by the intake of too much protein
10% — Neurological injury to pancreatic enzyme production
7% — Malfunction of body chemistry inactivating the enzymes

Second Law:  Protein Is Gradually Sapped from Muscles

Our research indicates that in 93% of all cancer cases the development of cancer is gradual. The average cancer patient has had cancer 39 months before it is clinically diagnosed. The important factor here is not that it is slow growing, but rather what happens to the body during this growth time — the body must have protein to live, but during this 39 months the body could not get enough protein from its food supply. Therefore, to keep the blood protein at a minimal level to sustain life, the body very gradually saps or destroys the muscles of the body.

Third Law:  Damaged Tissue and Female Hormones at the Site of a Latent, Misplaced Ectopic Germ Cell Set the Scene for Cancer

At this point the conditions are ripe for the symptom cancer to develop. All that is needed is something to stimulate the female sex hormone formation at the site of a misplaced ectopic germ cell. This is most often done by scar formation caused by a blow, a bruise, a drop of tar in the lung, a sun burn, an overdose of X-ray, or anything else that can cause a normal scar formation procedure to take place in the body — at the site of a latent ectopic germ cell. This is normal wear and tear of the body, which happens to each of us every day; it is only when our protein metabolism is deficient that the symptom cancer develops.

Now the ectopic germ cell mistakenly thinks it is time to have a baby and starts growing a placenta (cancer) in preparation for a baby that never develops. The only trouble is, without proper amounts of pancreatic enzymes circulating in our bloodstream to dissolve this abnormal placenta, it keeps growing and does not stop. When the patient finally consults the physician the condition of cancer is announced and surgery, radiation and chemotherapy are recommended.

Fourth Law: For Cancer To Be Cured There Must Be A Positive Change In The Physiology Of The Patient

If nothing changes in the physiology of the patient, the cancer grows until it destroys the body. If something positive changes in the physiology of the patient one of two things can happen:

One person with cancer lasts a long time while another person with the same type of cancer goes rapidly — and, before now, no one knew why.

The right combination of circumstances occurs, and the cancer is dissolved or cured.

Artwork by: Marlen Vargas Del Razo

Metabolic Ignorance

There are many causes for the failure of our pancreatic metabolic function. Often more than one cause exists simultaneously within the cancer patient. Listed below are some of these and all must be considered as possible or ruled out as non-causative in each cancer patient:

• The pancreas fails to produce an adequate quantity of enzymes.
• We take into our bodies such large quantities of foods, which require pancreatic enzymes for their digestion, that there are no enzymes available for cancer digestion.
• Diet: Incorrect type, amount, and timing of nutritional intake.
• Nutritional Components are not available (vitamins, minerals, amino acids, etc.) that are necessary for normal metabolism within the pancreas.
• We may fail to take into our diet enough minerals, which are essential to release the enzymes into activity.
• We may produce enough enzymes but we fail to take into our diet enough coenzymes (vitamins) to make the enzymes work.
• Failure of the Small Intestine to make adequate pancreatic activators.
• Obstruction of pancreatic secretion flow.
• Often we produce enough enzymes, but the blood supply to a cancer area is so poor the enzymes we produce are not carried to the area.
• Proper pH Balance (acid/alkaline balance) within the intestinal tract and/or within the cancer tumor mass.
• Infection: Bacterial or viral.
• Chemical Poisons within the patient’s body from the environment, food chain, drugs, metabolic wastes or medications.
• Man Made Biologicals: Viruses or infectious agents.
• Emotional instability and/or trauma.
• Non-Absorption of pancreatic secretions (pancreatin) from the intestines into the body due to scarring or damage to the small intestine from various diseases.
• Our bodies produce anti-enzyme factors. These factors keep the enzymes from digesting our own bodies. Sometimes we produce an over-abundant supply of these anti-enzyme factors.
• Balance: Instability and weakness of the autonomic nervous system.
• Genetic: Inheriting a very small, or weak or defective (ineffective) pancreas.
• Radiation Damage such as from therapeutic procedures, etc.

“The most essential part of resolving the metabolic malfunction of those with pancreatic failure is to get the enzymes to the affiliated areas of deterioration. We must have enough enzymes there to stop any further deterioration of body tissue.” William Donald Kelley, D.D.S., M.S.

*************

Alright so, today is my 4th day ‘ON’, meaning that I’m currently taking 10 pancreatic enzymes 6 times a day. This with the combined effort of vitamin B17 therapy is assisting my physical body to dissolve the lump/cancer. This is my third time on the enzymes and the longest time I’ve been able to stay on them before extreme symptoms of toxicity begins,  is 14 days. At that point I go OFF the enzymes and B17 for 5 days to give my body the time to repair itself.

I also just received the results and a baseline number for my HCG Specimen Test.

Dear Cathy,
Your HCG Test Result on 06/05/2013 is:
Index + 4,(53.0 Int. Units)

Please read here about the HCG Specimen Test

Ideally my next test will show an increase in the index before it decreases, which will mean that my treatment thus far is effective. Every day I’m becoming more and more aware of when I experience pain and changes in my physical body. For instance today I experienced pain in my left groin area which coincided with me participating in thoughts where I was doubting myself. It’s also important to note that there is some change that I can physically see to the lump in that it appears to be breaking up and/or reducing some in size, though it’s very subtle.
With the amount of pancreatic enzymes I’m up to now it’s normal that I experience physical weakness, nausea and/or headaches as well as other symptoms. I take care in making sure I don’t over exert myself and recently bought a portable sauna for a cheap price and was able to use it for the first time today. Afterwards I noticed a decrease in pain in my upper back. Sweating is also great for our cardiovascular system.

I’m very fortunate that at the moment we’re able to afford the things I require to continue with the alternative treatment that I’ve chosen. Plenty do not have such an opportunity.

I saw a woman on the news this evening who has been homeless with breast cancer and hasn’t been able to do anything to assist herself. She had just been given a small apartment and will now be given some help to be able to begin orthodox treatment such as radiation and chemo. Those are the only options she has to choose from and I see that as unacceptable. I mean life would be so much simpler with Equal Money and I can’t help but wonder what kind of hell is going to have to break loose on earth before we come together and give as we’d like to receive...

***Please remember:  This is my specific alternative treatment plan and I am in no way claiming this to be some sort of miracle cure.***

*************

Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life