Tag Archive | control

Day 285: Letting go of holding on to what used to be

Today I stumbled upon the picture of a couple celebrating 40 years of marriage. Now, I knew them when they were a newly married couple and very much a part of my life, some 40 years ago. I was 18, newly married with a baby boy who was less than a year old when I first met them. My then husband and I met them through a new church we were trying out at the time. Him and I would go on to spend some 7 years of our life hanging out with the them and some other couple’s – all of us were part of a young couple’s group that at the time was growing rapidly with many babies on the way.

what used to be

So I haven’t seen or even heard anything about this couple for at least 30 years, which is around the time that my first marriage ended and I just never saw them again. My ex got custody of our church friends and the church, so seeing the picture of the two of them together celebrating 40 years of marriage triggered a memory of my life with them in it and what I noticed upon seeing it was how within me. I felt a sort of odd comforting energetic sadness.

The oddly familiar emotion / energy is the same as I’ve been aware of going on within me for awhile now. So with the thing coming up again I realize that here’s another opportunity to fall for it or face it straight on and not participate in the energy of the thing. Instead I focus on breathing and continue on without the energy but remaining aware of how within the memory is this sadness / emotion within the idea and self-judgments and fear of loss I have towards myself within my mind in seeing myself growing old..

The topic of growing old and all that it entails has been a familiar topic as of late within the group that my partner and I are apart of, and I highly recommend one watch the Senior Live Google Hangouts for awesome support for topics regarding growing older.

Ok so what I realized when I saw the picture of them looking 40 years older was a moment where within me, I missed me, the me I was when I was with them way back then. For a moment I saw who I was in the memory and I wanted to take in the energy as comfort as if it were real. Instead, I was able to Stop, to breathe and remain aware of myself as I investigated the memory and directed myself to not allow myself to be taken over by it and I realized how growing old feels like the death of ourself, like grieving for ourself.

And I mean, when I look in the mirror, I don’t see the face of myself when I was 20, or 30 or even 40! And the thing about growing old is that no one prepares us for it. Sure no one wants to die, but no one really wants to start looking old either. Oh sure people joke about it or even lie and say they enjoy being older… But, ask most people who are over 55 and they’ll tell you that one of the hardest things about getting older is that it’s like you become invisible to others. It’s like people don’t really look at older folks, and anyone who is used to getting attention / energy – based on how they look for example – for them, growing old may mean the beginning of depression and / or feelings of isolation.

Both depression and isolating myself from others is something that I’ve written much self-forgiveness for and yet the point of growing old and how that feels within myself, is one I continue to investigate with the tools I’ve come to learn through Desteni I Process Pro . Together with those tools, and having cancer, I have the opportunity to physically reverse some of the damage that I’ve caused to my physical body through how and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be through and as my mind.

I see, realize and understand that, specifically with forgiving myself and letting go of holding on to what used to be. I see how within what feels like grief or sadness is actually a reaction of energy within the ‘fear of loss‘ and ‘fear of letting go’ construct. Seeing that,, I had to ask myself what holding onto things within myself within the construct of ‘fear of loss’ and ‘fear of letting go’ – how is being that construct, controlling and influencing my physical body..?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as my physical body to be in a constant state of fear that something may or might be lost and within that, I forgive myself for the adrenaline that comes up within my physical body as stress within the fear of ‘I must be ready’, for if and when something goes wrong that would cause me to lose control or cause me to lose my relationship to that something or someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the words, ‘you can’t control it’ within the ‘fear of loss’ and ‘fear of letting go’ construct.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the relationship between the words; ‘letting go’ and ‘control’ – where I’ve created an illusion that if I don’t control something or someone I will lose it/them and/or I will lose the context of myself in relation to that something or someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how that control and fear of loss relationship that the emotional energy creates is a physical tension within and as my physical body and how that physical tension imposes stress within and on the physical body.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my relationship with regards to how I react to the idea of letting go of fear of loss becomes similar to the grieving process because it’s who and how I’ve always existed as, thus, participation in any memory / thoughts of growing old and/or grief / sadness of who I used to be is simply because I’ve not yet walked a physical application where I do NOT react when fear of loss and letting go are triggered and / or when thoughts come up within emotions of sadness / grief, therefore, I commit myself to when and as I react in fear of loss and/or fear of letting go in relations to someone or something within my life I stop, I breathe, I apply self-forgiveness in the moment and let go and release, to move myself and Direct myself to Stand within the Decision to let it go.

I commit myself to when and as I see a memory come up – where my mind begs me to remember what so and so did and said, and how wonderful it was in how I believe the memory makes me feel – that this is a red flag for me to know there is more to forgive, thus I commit myself to ask myself what about it do I want to hold onto and what is it about myself within it that I do not want to change – to assist myself to Stand within my Commitment to let go of the fear of loss / the fear of letting go and the feeling of growing old / grief / sadness.

I commit myself to know where I stand with people and things, where I Stop the illusion within my mind of believing that I have to hold onto something or someone and to instead redefine my relationship to it/them according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that anything that can be lost, cannot and is Not real.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to continue to Investigate and Forgive myself for my relationship to things and people within the dimensions of control and fear of loss.

 

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Day 246: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Process Update – Day 29

Artwork By Marlen Vargas Del Razo

universeiswaiting

In the latter part of 2007, shortly after I began applying the tools of Desteni, (soon I will be sharing my Desteni Witness Blog for further clarity), I remember ‘thinking’ that if I were to come down with some sort of disease or illness, that I would not waste a minute, that I would take advantage of every moment and apply the Desteni tools to assist myself to get well.  Little did I realize then, that doing so, would be my biggest  challenge.

So, here I am with breast cancer and walking daily a strict diet and routine where often I am physically ill and so the reality and the extent of years of brainwashing/programming often gets the most of me. All the thinking I’ve participated in over the years offers nothing for me in the way of actually assisting and supporting me physically, and, even though I have proved to myself over the past 5 1/2 years the effectiveness of the Desteni tools when applied, I still have resistance and have to push myself to share my process here because who I am as my mind, doesn’t want to write about it…

So, despite my resistance, I’m here, to give a brief update about how my alternative treatment plan for cancer is coming along…Please Remember, this is My Treatment Plan and that everybody’s individual treatment plan will differ…

Alright so recently I’ve come to understand more about the ‘lump/tumor’ itself. Meaning, in the beginning I had expectations in that I believed that the lump would ‘hopefully’ decrease in size. I now understand that that is not entirely so.

 “…the tumor is merely the symptom of the disease, that most tumors have only a relatively small proportion of cancer cells: consequently, getting rid of the cancer often leaves behind a tumor of benign tissue as a memorial to the victory of nature over the disease. To use the reduction of tumor mass as the primary test of efficacy is indefensible from a scientific point of view and is further evidence of the appalling ignorance of orthodox researchers.” ~ John A Richardson, M.D.

“What water is to thirst, so normal metabolism is to cancer.” – John Richardson, MD, Richardson Newsletter, 1978.

Alright so, in the past 3 to 4 weeks there have been some noticeable changes:

*All pain/energy that I was experiencing a couple times a week in the area of my breast where the lump is located has stopped.

*During my “On” Cycle, ( which is what I refer to when I’m on the Pancreatic Enzymes) I notice that now the lump/tumor itself, it swells. I’ve learned that is normal and can be compared to what happens when one smashes their thumb in that the cells in the area itself will swell as a way of protecting itself.

So basically the lump is attempting to protect itself from the Pancreatic Enzymes which is cool in that I now know that the Enzymes are getting to the cancer cells and ridding my body of them.

 “At least 86% of all cancer conditions could be adequately treated and/or prevented by diet and pancreatic enzymes.

Cancer is a symptom of inadequate and deficient protein metabolism. The real problem is protein metabolism, not cancer. Cancer is only a symptom telling those who would listen that their protein metabolism is in very serious trouble. 

One hundred years ago Dr. John Beard at the University of Edinburgh discovered that the body’s primary mechanism for destroying cancer is contained in pancreatin, a secretion from the pancreas that includes enzymes for digesting protein (among other things). Enzymes digest or liquefy foods for absorption by the body. Dr. Beard presented pictures in his books and papers to show recoveries using pancreatin. This was an unprecedented approach to treating the symptoms of cancer — a direct attack on the malignancy with a substance that did not have toxic side effects on the other functions of the body.” ~ Dr. William Donald Kelley, D.D.S., M.S.

*Recently, I also finished what’s called ‘The Liver-Gallbladder’Flush, and doing this thing, was like living proof for myself of how our mind will direct us to ‘fear’ that which we’ve never heard of or done before. I mean it has taken me 3 months to ‘get up the nerve’ so to speak to finally do this and the ‘idea’ within my mind was waaaaaaay worse than the actual physical process of doing so. And the benefits of doing so have assisted my physical body greatly so what I’m realizing is that it doesn’t matter whether my mind likes the idea of something or not, what matters is that which will assist my physical body. Liking and disliking things is nothing but a lie that our mind would have us believe in and I am no longer willing to participate in that sort of bullshit.

*Another thing I’ve added recently that Dr. Kelley suggests, is every day I liquefy 3 to 6 heaping tablespoons, (but no more than that) of raw beef liver to my morning juice. Another fear that I’ve had to walk the self corrective application of,  and in doing so have realized that taking the liver is making a Huge difference in that I am having more strength and a general awareness of how much my physical body is lovin it.

“Liver is a wonderful energy food and cannot be surpassed as a blood builder. It is especially crucial for leukemia and lymphoma patients, as their blood is unusually weak. However, all cancer patients can benefit from the intake of raw liver before noon each day. In the mid 1960s, when Dr. Kelley was told he was in the final stages of pancreatic and liver cancer, he found that raw liver blended into carrot juice gave him strength when everything else he ate made him feel ill.

Raw organic, antibiotic-free and hormone-free liver contains a multitude of live enzymes, amino acids and other intrinsic factors that science has not yet identified, which are destroyed when the liver is cooked. (References to “intrinsic” or “unidentified” food factors are fairly common in nutritional literature. They result from clinical reactions, which cannot be linked to known nutrients. Raw liver for cancer patients is an excellent example of powerful therapeutic, but unexplained, effects.) There are no supplements or drugs that can take the place of raw liver; none are in any way comparable in their effects. Eating raw liver ensures thorough digestion and the replacement of expended nutrients, promoting excellent health.” ~ One Answer to Cancer

*Just to note here that at the moment, I’m only able to stay to the ‘ON Cycle’ for 7 to 9 days where in the first month I was able to stay ‘ON’ for 10 to 13 days – this then is when I become toxic,  which at this point begins with a severe headache – which means it’s time to go OFF Everything to give my body 5 days to recover and repair itself.

*I’m also seeing that I’m having more pimples on my overall physical body which is cool because this is another way my body is getting rid of the cancer.

*I’ve now had 2 HCG Specimen Tests or, The Titer Urine Test, both of which I get the results of through ‘The Navarro Medical Clinic‘, which is under the direction of Dr. Efren Navarro. I will be taking the test again in 2 months.

Here are my results:

Dear Cathy,

Your latest HCG Test Result on 07/20/2013 is:
Index + 4,(53.0 Int. Units)

This is within the positive range. It remains unchanged as compared to the last one on 06/05/13(53.0 IU).

It has been a month or more from the last test and Alternative medication takes time and at times the result may take longer to go down. At least, this one did not go up which is good.

I suggest that you do continue with your alternative regimen.

A range of 49 or below will indicate remission: Interpretation of Readings

Wishing you the best of health, I remain.

EFNavarro,MD

*I’ve also been experiencing some overall pain throughout my entire physical body. Though, the pain is greater in the area of my lower left abdomen and my upper back and neck area. Fortunately I’ve been able to assist myself through/with breathing techniques given to me specifically during my weekly chat with Sunette Spies.

So, the biggest problem is Not my physical body as it’s doing quite well actually. The biggest problem is and has always been who I am and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as, as my mind as Consciousness.  This I am becoming more and more aware of and I will continue to direct myself to stop the self interest of and as it that I’ve consumed myself as for my entire life and Direct myself to investigate, forgive and release the constructs and preprogramming and re-design myself according to what’s Best for All.  Because I’m coming to a clearer understanding within myself, that life is not a lesson, but more an opportunity to Face All of who we are within all and everything that is here.

It’s too bad that we accept and allow Money to be that which motivates us, because in the end, Money isn’t even real enough to go with us when we die. In the end we won’t want a huge pile of money sitting beside us to bid us farewell, No!

So, how come we don’t ask ourselves why we’re so afraid to Give to All that which only those with Money are able to receive when we could All come Together in Agreement and Give to All that which we would Each like to Receive?

Investigate: Living Income Guaranteed proposal.

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“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that resistance to change is indicating the control of the accepted and allowed patterns of my current limited version of me as self interest that occupies the space and time that I realize I must change to become that which is best for all life as me in the part I am as participation in the current accepted whole as the one system that exist as humanity and this world.” Bernard Poolman

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it acceptable that others may suffer by the effect I cause while I take time to sort out my priorities without regard that at this moment, while I am occupied, another is in a position that will improve faster if I act immediately and with sustained consistency till that which is best for all life is here in every way.” Bernard Poolman 

“I commit myself to prioritize my life to that which is best for me in the way that it is best for all life realizing that I cannot do it all, but what I do I must do well and in the full understanding and certainty that I will produce me as the optimum life form here that will be best for the process to life. I commit myself to consistency in action with the understanding that as I walk to life, that which I become as life will become easier through time and I accept the pressure and resistance that will go along with the reintegration of that which is best for all life as I understand that the resistance are the indicator that makes the reality of the process measurable.” Bernard Poolman

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Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

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Activist’s Journey To Life

Day 205: I’m too old for this!

More than once when I was younger and my children were small my babysitter would cancel and I would have to take them over to my mother’s house so I could go to work. When I would arrive later to pick them up it was common for her to tell me: ‘I’m too old for this’!

I mean I heard her say that so many times, and every time she must have felt guilty for saying it because she would always add a reminder to me of how much she ‘loved’ her grandchildren, but that they were just about to much for her to handle, what with her already daily duties of keeping the house clean and cooking supper for her and dad.

Back then I never looked at her words as being part of a program, a constructed pattern within and as who she was as her mind. Instead I judged her for saying so and I remember experiencing myself within a sort of euphoric state of denial. Because within my programming, within my own mind of delusion, I was sure that I would never come to feel like and thus live as the words: ‘I’m too old for this’!

Little did I know or comprehend how in that moment of my participation in thinking that I would never come to feel like that, that I already was it. Already accepting and allowing myself to become the same preprogrammed design of and as my mind. And, here, years later and today I heard the inner proof of my self accepted programming when within my mind I heard myself say: ‘I’m too old for this’!

too old for this
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a self-righteous moral attitude of superiority manipulating myself with excuses to not move myself, but to remain the same, stuck in my own fear hiding within a beLIEf system of self immortality and self-interest where I continue to argue for my own limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on an imaginary picture of myself within my mind where I physically remain looking the same within the idea of myself as being ‘pretty as a picture’, and completely unaware of my physical behavioral movements and the reactions within myself as my mind participation and the damaging effects I am manifesting unto my physical body and physical world/reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the inner me is that which manifests the outer me as this world within which we experience ourself, thus, when I participate in back chat and/or an internal conversation of: ‘I’m too old for this’, that what I am really doing is reacting within and as an enery of anger, therefore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that how I am experiencing myself is unique and that I am alone having to give up something special of myself and within that I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that the inner conflict that exists within me is the inner conflict that exist within all other beings as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to others within my world within a feeling of ‘importance’ where within that I don’t realize that such a reaction is actually towards a projection of an image/picture that exists within my mind reaching for greatness – thus, is Not in fact a real expression of me as who I am in/as my own process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest pain within and as me as my physical body within and as the back chat of: ‘I’m too old for this’ where I become physically stiff with my chest protruding out standing with a force that does nothing but enforce an energy of resistance, of self-sabotage and denial of self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the consequence of defining who I am within the back chat of ‘I’m too old for this’ is that in doing so I’m walking my process for an individual want, need and desire and not really changing myself, only seeking to fulfill my own self-fulfilling prophecy therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within something that has become very automatic and convenient to keep myself deliberately in a state of self-controlled manipulation.

I commit myself to STOP this pattern of self-controlled manipulation because I know what to do to start changing, to start expanding and letting go of who I have accepted and allowed myself to become and what the consequences are of doing so within myself and thus what I am accepting and allowing to continue as abuse within existence.

I commit myself to slow myself down and walk the self-corrective application of becoming clear in my communication as my words, my vocalization and my physical body movement to/towards others.

I commit myself to further investigating what wants and desires I’m still holding onto and excusing because of self-interest as that which I’ve continued to drag alongside of myself as I’m walking this Journey to Life so as to assist myself to be able to Stand and Direct myself according to what’s best for all.

Day 204: It is Time to Change

Yesterday I was gifted with an interview from Eqafe titled: It is Time to Change.

This was perfect timing for me, because I’ve been on a time loop for awhile now where what’ll happen is that I access an energy movement, and from there I’ll reference a moment from my past and then utilize it to condition myself in the present within my mind into a mental and physical condition / experience – until I cause myself to be completely immobile. Unfortunately I’ve repeated such behavior until at the end of the day I’ve usually completely sabotaged myself to the point where I feel completely overwhelmed and ultimately ashamed of myself for not pushing myself through the point of energy resistance.

Even now as I’m typing, I feel physically nauseous with resistance to continue. So, I can relate to what Anu refers to in the interview when he shares how one will experience a physical condition of limitation, of like being completely immobile in the back chat of: “I can’t do anything right now, it’s impossible”.

time to change
The process of change is through resistances. That I know to be true. Through applying the tools of Desteni I Process, pushing through the resistance and walking as a Group with Desteni, I’ve been able to stop not one but several addictive behaviors such as gambling, smoking pot and smoking cigarettes‘, as well as being able to stop taking of 11 highly addictive prescription medications.

So Yes, it is definitely Time to change, it is Time for me to get the hell off the time loop, to stop what has been months of resistance and self-sabotage. It’s time for me to Change, to Stand as Stable support to bring about a World that is supportive of all Life according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a mistake.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to time loop within the point of resisting to face who I am without any and all positive and negative energies for the fear of who I’ll be without them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the process of Life and Giving and Receiving and Walking in the shoes of another for granted within a self-righteous, holier-than-though attitude because the truth is I fear the shame in seeing what I have been willing to accept and allow to exist within this world. I fear taking responsibility for all life because I fear giving up having more than others because I am ashamed of the fact that I have believed that I deserve to have more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to access an energy movement and within that reference a past moment to utilize in order to condition myself within my mind into a mental and physical state/condition experience where I become completely immobile within a point of resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall in the trap of energy, be it negative and/or positive, and to from there sink into a despair of hopelessness all of which is how I manipulate myself to excuse and justify Not moving and pushing myself through the point of resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the past and the future to talk myself into where I’ve come from and using it to manifest what is ahead for me in creating my present ‘condition’ within my mind where I eventually talk myself into even more limitation into a physical experience of being completely immobile.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to linger in an energy experience that then goes into threads of excuses and back chat within my mind of, “I can’t do anything right now, it’s impossible”, and then justify reasons as to why I continue to argue for my own limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself ‘putting off changing until tomorrow’ through justifying how and what I’m accepting myself as within the fear of who I’ll be if I do change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that that which I’ve been resisting is the fear of facing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to oppose me as my physical body within degrees of resistance for which I hold onto fear within the pit of my stomach.

I commit myself to stop giving in to resistance as fear.

I commit myself to Stop justifying my participation in the energy movements that keep me time looping and arguing for my own limitation.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into a pattern of resistance which begins with a positive and/or negative energetic experience, I stop, I breathe. I see, realize and understand that I have walked similar energetic resistance before, thus I Stand within the decision to stop and direct myself to walk the self-corrective application to become a point of stability according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself stuck in a pattern of resistance to stop, breathe and move myself to write and forgive myself.

I commit myself to STOP using the past and the future to talk myself into where I’ve come from and using it to manifest what is ahead for me in creating my present ‘condition’ within my mind where I eventually talk myself into even more limitation into a physical experience of being completely immobile.

I commit myself to move myself within my physical reality to get things done that matter to my process of the Journey to Life.

I commit myself to changing who I am as a selfish inconsiderate greedy bitch to one who will Stand up for Life, who will never stop until every single living being is able to experience Life in a dignified manner according to what’s best for all.

I re-commit myself to my process of walking this Journey to Life to it’s fullest potential in seeing, realizing and understanding that I have this one Life to make every breath count to support real change for All Life through Equal Money Capitalism to bring about Heaven on Earth.
——-
Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Join the forum:
Desteni
Investigate Equal Money Capitalism

Day 198: Water: Problem, Solution, Reward

water

“This is not a film about saving the environment. It’s a film about saving ourselves. Because whatever one’s environmental, political, or religious opinions, whatever one’s race, sex or economic standing, whomever of us goes without water for a week, cries blood.” ~ Quote from the Documentary: Blue Gold: World Water Wars

When I finished watching the documentary: Blue Gold: World Water Wars, I was somewhat speechless as the realization of our world water supply/situation settled within me. It’s like one of those moments when you know you’ve got something so important that you must share with others – something that is life-changing, literally. And in the same moment you realize how important what you have to share is, you’re almost fearful that those that you share with, won’t take the seriousness of our situation here on earth to heart, but you know you have to share nonetheless. Where to begin…

The Problem:

Our Physical body has to have water to exist and that should not be a problem, yet it is.

Most of us just assume as we go to our sink and turn on the faucet that we’ll always have plenty of clean water. That’s a mistake in our thinking that we no longer have the luxury of believing. It’s time for us to educate ourselves and find out where our water supply comes from and who if any is taking from and selling to – depleting that which we have taken for granted because we’ve accepted and allowed others to make important decisions on our behalf and subsequently are profiting from.

For generations we have Not been paying attention to what we’ve accepted and allowed to happen to our water supply and so now, we’ve got a small window of opportunity before the price to pay for our negligence costs us our very life. Our source of water is being sold and exported for the private gain of a few and thus water is the new gold, a big commodity, and already, over one billion lack access to clean drinking water and many many more are finding themselves in situations where they cannot afford water – the very substance our earth provides freely for everybody.

The Fact is, We cannot continue to take water from one source and give it to another while not taking into consideration the natural cycle of our water supply – thus depleting countries and people of their water and the health and well being of their resources in which they depend upon to exist.

Direct Quote from the Website of the Documentary:

“In every corner of the globe, we are polluting, diverting, pumping, and wasting our limited supply of fresh water at an expediential level as population and technology grows. The rampant overdevelopment of agriculture, housing and industry increase the demands for fresh water well beyond the finite supply, resulting in the desertification of the earth.
Corporate giants force developing countries to privatize their water supply for profit. Wall Street investors target desalination and mass bulk water export schemes. Corrupt governments use water for economic and political gain. Military control of water emerges and a new geo-political map and power structure forms, setting the stage for world water wars.”

Did you know?

This is a summary of the global market for all water users:

“Total worldwide revenues of $508 billion in 2010 … the bottled water market generated $58 billion of that total and growing fast … industry needs $28 billion for water equipment and services to all kinds of businesses … another $10 billion covers agricultural irrigation … another $15 billion in retail products like filters and various heating and cooling systems … $170 billion is used for waste water, sewage systems, waste-water treatment and water recycling systems … and $226 billion for water utilities, treatment plants and distribution systems.” Market Watch: The Wallstreet Journal

The Solution:

Water is here to assist and support Life. It is Not here to fill the pockets of the greedy. The solution is very simple in that we’ll return water to its natural cycle and irrigate the land with rain water. And, in doing so, we’ll stop accepting and allowing profit and greed to take us over. We take self-responsibility, we see, realize and understand the common sense – that we all have to have water to support our physical body and our physical reality, thus, we establish a system that recognizes that we share the same basic needs which are required to be met to live a fulfilled Life. Equal Money Capitalism guarantees All living beings be given that which is required to live just such a life and at the same time protects the natural flow process within our streams, underground water basins, as well as our rivers and oceans.

The Reward:

The reward with Equal Money Capitalism will prove that life does Not have to be a scary story. We do Not have to accept huge corporations and/or a few with all the money to bully their way through our land and our resources. There is enough resources here for us All to utilize effectively to see to it that we will Not run out of water and we’ll prove it through accepting and allowing the natural cycle of life – instead of the insanity of water privatization and/or the sale of water resources, (water trading, profit, greed).

Don’t take your water for granted. Investigate and Educate yourself. Know where your water comes from and who owns it…

Our Water is Not for sale.

Join us

——–
Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Join the forum:
Desteni

Investigate Equal Money

Day 161: The Child is Mine

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to repeat the words “the child is mine” over and over within my mind where the ‘idea’ of the child being mine became more important than who the child and I were together within our relationship with each other.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself from the very moment my child was born to instantly become protective in how I believed his physical reality/world was suppose to feel and be to/for him and how I would attempt to manipulate and influence the very nature of who he would become and how within doing so, I never stopped to consider what I was taking away from him as an expression of who he really is free from the preprogramming of and as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make the decision to have unprotected sex and thus never considered the consequences of having a baby so young that when my son was born I didn’t even realize how terrified I was because suddenly, I had this small life before me and I didn’t even know how to be responsible for myself much less responsible for a baby, thus I ran from my fears and became busy, busy within my mind trying to make sense of life and busy at trying to make it look like on the outside that I was a good mom who knew what she was doing, while on the inside, I was lost, confused and trying to hide from the truth of me as the hopelessness I was running from, and within that I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed my children to be molded into and as the characters/personalities  that I became day after day as I attempted to survive within this world/money system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to automatically insist that my belief in a God become the belief of my child where I never allowed my child the opportunity to question the belief which I would later realize was my way of avoiding taking responsibility for what I was willing to accept and allow within and as our current world/money system.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to boost my own ego over the well being and the limited understanding that I had of the developing mind of my young son/child, where I didn’t consider what the act of ‘showing him off’ would have upon the nature of the characters/personalities that he would later become as a direct result of the role that I played as the pride in/as being a parent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait and hope that my son will forgive me for the mistakes I made in raising him when the fact is, it is me that I am waiting for to forgive myself for because I regret the decisions and mistakes I made in raising my children because at the time all I could think of was how to get to the experience where I was having fun because I believed that was all that life was about.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the characters and personalities of and as my mind which have been passed down from generation to generation have never changed in that we continue our cycles of self-interest and greed and only think about how can we be happy and content and to hell with the world we’re giving to our children.

to be continued…

Day 149: You hurt my feelings character

My son’s birthday was a few days ago. I wasn’t able to talk to him or see him and I told myself that I was ok with that. I lied.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie to myself when I fear because I convinced myself it makes me ‘feel’ better when the fact is lying further suppresses within me that which I’m avoiding taking responsibility for.

The last words that my son said to me were: “you’re not my mom, you’re just a lady who gave birth to me”.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I think about my son, I fear when I realize that I can’t talk to him and/or go see him, then I become angry and suppress my anger by becoming a character of ‘you hurt my feelings‘, and within that I forgive myself for how I’ve used the memory of our past argument as a defense mechanism which creates physical pain within me within the illusion of it all in how I’ve held in and on to the memory of his words as if they are jagged edged swords piercing deep within me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how holding onto memories keeps me committed to the past and thus never evolving as a living being but only evolving within methods of protection to defend the memory/past within a definition of self as it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I have used my son’s words to create a character of and as my mind as the ‘you hurt my feelings’ character and as such I continue to walk and live the consequences of my own self-interest in believing that what has been done cannot be undone because I’ve reLIED upon and lived as those words through feelings and emotions which I’ve accepted and allowed to guide me into having experiences of myself accordingly and as such, I’ve not yet realized the extent that I myself have misused and abused the living word itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold an image/picture within myself of myself of how to raise a child, when in fact. I didn’t know the first thing in how to prepare a child to care for themselves and/or their physical reality in order to guarantee a world ready and able to nourish and sustain life on earth into and as eternity according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought as an image/picture to come up within me of when my son was a baby and how having him made me feel proud and on top of the world and how in that one moment I took for granted that I would/could be a great mom when in fact I wasn’t prepared to raise the baby/son and the man to be, yet, I held onto him as if he was a puppy that I could train to love me.

Sometimes, to make myself ‘feel’ better, I imagine everything between him and I is suddenly, magically alright.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself from what I perceive within my mind as a negative experience to then a positive one through imagining everything suddenly is alright between the two of us, when I see, realize and understand that this is how me as my mind has always justified my avoiding taking self-responsibility for myself and others as myself, because in doing so within my mind I never actually face myself and/or never walk any real change of myself into and as who I am within and as my physical reality.

I still have a strong feeling that says: “How dare you”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the kind of parent who reacts to my child within a matter of duty, as if my child owes me something for bringing him/her into this world and thus my actions demand respect,  when in fact,  I see the common sense in how as a parent I failed my children in that I took for granted that I knew and was teaching them what mattered most in life, such as love and God, when the truth is, I was only teaching them what was taught to me and what was taught to my parents,  and in self-honesty, I see, realize and understand how as parents we’ve not investigated our world for ourselves, thus we’ve been living knowledge and information and have not actually been prepared to teach our children how to become a responsible human being as one who recognizes and shares the understanding of the Equality of Life of and as all living beings and supports their world accordingly.

The last time I saw my son was a year ago.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret who I physically become within and as the ‘you hurt my feelings’ character wherein when I’m around my son I walk with my head slightly tilted to the right which I now see is how I walk when I’m in deep thought, thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regret not moving myself in the way I really wanted to which was to physically embrace him within self-honesty and complete acceptance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk my process within wants, desires and expectations of seeking to control others/my children in order for me to have and behave as that which I was seeking in self-interest.

When and as I see myself existing as the character of and as my mind of/as: ‘you hurt my feelings’, I stop, I breathe. I see, realize and understand that feelings manifest who I’ve become as characters/personalities, and that the only power that feelings and emotion have over me is the power that I give them through my participating in and as thoughts and energetic reactions of and as polarity experiences, thus I commit myself to stop patterns of taking a negative experience of myself to that of a positive one in order to justify the demons of who and how I have existed as within my past, therefore, I commit myself to stop who I am as the memory of the words that my son once said to me and I commit myself to purify into life the words we live by and as daily.

I commit myself to stop lying to myself and others as myself and to commit myself to stop walking my process within regret, guilt, wants, desires, energy and expectations.

I commit myself to show how through self-forgiveness one can let go the past and begin a process of healing self from the inside out which can and will manifest unto and as the world as self.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that I cannot fully receive from anyone that which I’m not yet willing to give to all Equally.

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‎”Parents are not Instructed how to Instruct Children and are thus Not Qualified to be Instructors and are thus Destructors that will even Defend their Right to Destroy their Children in spite of the Fact that if one’s not Trained in Effective Direct Instruction, one is in fact Not Qualified to have Children under one’s Supervision and would Never Employ someone Unqualified to do a Job – yet the most Important Job on Earth, which is to Instruct Newborn Children, is allowed to be Instructed by Unqualified, Inadequate Trainers – resulting in a World where No One is in fact Ever Qualified or Instructed to be part of a Society that is Best for All Present on Earth.” – Bernard Poolman