Day 247: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Forgiving Resistance – Day 30

Recently I’ve been facing quite a bit of resistance to writing, to finishing my DIP lessons, resistance to just about everything. So here I would like to Thank the Assistance I’ve received from Hannie / Sunette as I’ve been able to come to an understanding with regards to what I’ve been accepting and allowing. Thus with some assistance, I’m sharing here my Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment Statements.
self forgiveness for life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a failure according to an energy of resistance that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how resistance is merely an energy, though be it a persistent energy that seems so real that I in my mind cannot deny how real it is within and as how it overwhelms me in the physical and so in this mind-physical relationship to resistance – I allow it to be more powerful and overbearing than my directive principle/decision of who I am in every moment of breath and so give up/give into this energy of resistance.

When and as I see myself give in to this energy of resistance, I stop, I breathe, I direct myself to Not participate, to instead be the directive principle of me within the decision to stand and move myself according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my relationship to resistance, this mind-physical energy – in fact shows me my relationship to emotions/feelings within my mind, where I still accept and allow myself to believe that the reactions I have are “all that I am/is real”, because I have this reasoning that since I experience it physically then it must be real – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding how within this resistance, within the emotions and feelings,,, I am actually missing my breath, I miss Me in Breath and therefore do not realize the extent to which I am in fact in my mind within an energy that I experience in the physical – so, therefore, I am not in fact here, not in fact physical – I am experiencing it through energy within my mind and therefore,  I commit myself to STOP, to direct myself here as Breath.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how in my primary relationship to my mind – I’ve always trusted/used my mind as my backup, always leaning on and depending on my own thoughts/reactions for guidance – never seeing, realizing and understanding within this how with writing, with committing myself to changing Me – I am in my self awareness for the first time deciding to stand on my own two feet, to make my own decisions about who I am and so therefore – resistance will come through in moments of change, where it’s actually a habit to not step into that moment of change, that decision to change, of action to change, because I don’t know who I’ll be, in leaving the comfort zone of my mind, stepping into the unknown and so the force of resistance is me playing a balancing act with myself – between the known and the unknown.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the unknown is unknown, but, I know that I have me as I walk the unknown, that I have me in every moment of every breath, so in this walking the unknown, is actually existent a gift – a gift for me to learn to trust Me, to learn what it means to trust me, discover me and learn about me – and so, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use resistance as an excuse to rather trust who I am as my mind simply because it seems easier than me walking the process to learn what it means to trust myself, to depend upon myself, make decisions for myself, direct myself and ultimately change myself, thus, I commit myself to Stop using resistance as an excuse, as a reason not to move myself.

When and as I see myself as my mind using the energy of resistance to not face myself, to not move myself to write, to discover me, to learn about who I really am, I stop, I breathe – instead, I direct myself to move myself to write, to give myself an opportunity to discover for myself in self honesty who I am, to push through the resistance to self change.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the common sense in relation to resistance: that I do not in self awareness decide to create resistance when I sit down to write, that I make a decision to write, so where is the resistance coming from? This showing me how I have trusted the emotions and feelings and thoughts of my mind without question/introspection – and just because it’s suddenly there and it’s physical, I believed it to be real, however – I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider standing by/with my decision to direct myself within reality/the real world that I decided in Self Awareness to do, because I know then that I made the Decision to do this direction, to walk this point – of which I Trust – when I see the resistance comes up seemingly out of nowhere – this I should question and so, I commit myself to assist and support myself to stick to my Decision, my living actions such as writing, which I can trust, that I decided to do and to walk and to Not accept and allow any automated reaction/emotions/resistance to interFear with me establishing my self trust in that which I decide and what I walk in reality.

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“The Difficulty with change is obviously that there will be Resistance, it will be Difficult because you are busy Transforming that which is Within you as your Memory, your Thought, your Personality, your Past Into a Living Being that Lives at the Cutting-Edge of Time with such Vigorous Principle that You can be Trusted with Life; when you are Functioning as Consciousness: You can’t be Trusted with Life, just look at the Planet Earth and What is Done to it by the Human Race and you know That is the Evidence that Time is Showing us, that’s Our Writing on Earth, How we are Living, that is the Story, the Life-Book that is the Reality of the Truth.”

Bernard Poolman

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  Suggested blogs to follow:

Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

&

Activist’s Journey To Life