Day 290: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – stopping emotional reactions to myself – Day 43

For Context Please Read:

Day 288: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Giving up, Giving in, or Both? – Day 41

Day 289: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – that sinking feeling that comes with the giving up experience – Day 42

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into emotional reactions within the ‘giving up experience‘, where I’ll become easily irritated and impatient which causes resistance within me which I often allow to influence my relationships in how I respond and interact or react to / with others, as well as with myself from the starting point of the irritation and / or impatience.

dip lite picI forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that ‘giving up’ is a process that manifests within and as my mind as consciousness and for accepting and allowing myself to beLIEve that it is me who is making the decision to give up, when in fact the decision to give up began the moment I first resisted and / or reacted to a part of myself within my mind and for that moment when I first turned against myself in my mind which is the exact moment when I gave up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to emotional feeling reactions / energies, which give way for consciousness to make the decision for me to make the giving up official.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to so easily and readily give up on myself and for how I look to find something wrong in things and / or for looking for something somewhere to judge and attack myself or others for.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself being pulled into and as irritation and / or impatience and / or resistance within the emotions of the giving up experience, I Stop, I Breathe and move myself to do whatever I can to assist myself – such as writing out what’s going on within me in that moment and / or by taking a short walk or playing fetch with my dog – rather than giving in and accepting and allowing myself to be pulled into and as my mind as ‘the giving up on myself experience‘.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself reacting within my head towards myself, I stop and breathe, I direct myself to in that moment do self investigation to understand my relationship with the point of giving up so to assist myself to walk through the point with stability – instead of reacting and judging myself and building up more emotional and feeling reactions which lead to consciousness making the decision for me to make the giving up process official.

I commit myself to stop giving myself over to my mind within and as the giving up process / experience – to instead investigate the thoughts / voices in my head that I’ve been listening to and the emotions / energy that I’ve been participating in that have turned me against a part of myself in my mind and within that for using entertainment / television as a tool for my mind to fuel itself – to instead use the mind consciousness system to work for me instead of against me in remaining aware of how in that moment of giving up, look at how / why I’m being so hard on myself with regards to this exact point, and how in doing so it further builds a hardness within me, a wall, wherein I’m not able to recognize my own potential, therefore, I commit myself to write out, investigate and identify the mental and physical effects of the giving up process and to practice embracing myself as I continue to walk this process while assisting my physical body to correct imbalances and heal itself.

I commit myself to recognize and appreciate myself for remaining consistent within the process of assisting and supporting myself, my physical body to heal itself of cancer.