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Today my partner drove and he and I went off doing a bit of travelling through the backwoods of pawnee and creek county. So we were going along this stretch of road and I began to notice how the road was triggering a memory I have of myself from long ago, and then, an uneasiness began deep within my gut/stomach. I also noticed my breathing was becoming slightly labored and my heartbeat slightly increased and my energy/stamina level began to drop – kind of like the way a person will experience themselves when their sugar level drops.

So, just as we were about to come to the place where we would turn off the winding road we were travelling on, I began to experience a pull from within the center of my chest area… A dull pain began in my upper back and chest area and I felt as if I was being sucked into some sort of vortex within my mind and it was then that I chose to let go of the past memory/energy that was begging my participation and it was then that I realized, ‘damn, this is what betrayal feels like, insignificance, fear, and self betrayal’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see, realize and understand that betrayal is that of blame, and how within my experience of inSIGNificance, there were SIGNS for me to see – how when I felt betrayed by something or someone, it was because I conditionally placed my faith and my trust and ultimately my responsibility for me, for my life – I placed it in the hands of another – I gave my life over to another separate form me – giving responsibility for myself to another, instead of taking responsibility for my own life and my own life experiences – then when my life hasn’t worked out the way I wanted it to, I felt betrayed by them, when the fact is, I handed over my life to them, I gave them responsibility of me and ultimately, I became angry.

Therefore, I forgive myself for the anger of betraying myself – for not taking self responsibility for my life and for how I experienced myself, and for suppressing that which I was really experiencing, blaming the experience and my situation on others, on the world, on society as a whole, yet all along presenting to the world that I’m fine, that I’m strong – betraying/deceiving myself and those within my world – blaming others for my own betrayal and deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so engulfed in the fear of taking responsibility that I accepted and allowed my physical body to become petrified, frozen in/as self betrayal and self denial.

Redefining Self Betrayal:

When and as I see myself giving myself over to another and suppressing myself within a point of insignificance which leads to self denial and self betrayal, I stop. I Breathe. I see, realize and understand that this is a pattern within and as my mind – that I Am Willing myself to Stop, to re-design myself, to take Self-responsibility for myself and the World as myself.

I commit myself to let go of the idea’s that I’ve existed as within and as my past relationships to who I am within and as self betrayal.

I commit myself to Stop self denial.

I commit myself to take Self-Responsibility for myself and Stop blaming others for how I experience myself.

I commit myself to changing who I am as my mind/physical body within and as this physical reality/existence as one who is Not a betrayer of self, but is instead Standing within and as the Directive Principal of what I see, realize and understand as the utmost importance, to assist in bringing forth a World where All Life is given to Equally within the Principle of What’s Best for All.

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Suggested blogs to follow:

Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Activist’s Journey To Life

Watch Psywar Documentary

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the ism of/as the consumer where according to the advertisers story of us, the way to happiness is through our consumption in/as buying things which is exactly how we’ve been manipulated/pre-programmed to exist as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing only specific history lessons to be taught in the classrooms across the land where children learn lies within knowledge and information that’s been paid for through the blood loss of those before them, yet nothing of how history has been manipulated for the sake of supporting the power of money for those best described as us All as we All have continued to turn a blind eye – instead of standing together neighbor for neighbor, as a group in support of a system of equality to bring an end to that which we are constantly and continually trying to escape from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pay no mind to what’s really going on within this world, because I’ve been pre-programmed Not to notice and/or care about the thousands and thousands of living beings who have been and are brutally tortured and massacred in class warfare due to working conditions – for instance those who died in the ‘Ludlow Massacre’,which was an attack by the Colorado National Guard on a tent colony of 1200 striking coal miners and their families , which resulted in violent deaths including women and children, some of which asphyxiated and burned to death after a day long strike for decent wages and living conditions such as the basic right to feed, clothe and provide for one’s family, yet their life ended in death and those remaining grew in acceptance of self in/as poverty infear of the fact that they saw no other choice but to obey – within this I see myself in how the atrocities that exist within this world is the responsibility of us All to stop, forgive, direct, amend and heal us of our past forever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the pain through the eyes of my neighbor, brother, coworker and/or my enemy (inner me).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed numerous atrocities within this world to exist as I walked right through and past them looking on in condemnation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/ realize and understand how I/ We have been pre-programmed and manipulated as mind consciousness machines to ensure our support for/of a world/money system which literally survives at it’s best through acts of war.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the only real choice we’ve accepted and allowed for ourselves is the choice that keeps money in the pockets of those who already have everything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bury my face in a history of spiritual deception and then claim I’ve been forgiven by a God willing to grant me a heaven – when in self-honesty, I see how the only sin is in the believing that we’re going to escape to anywhere other than right back here to face our responsibility and walk the correction of the Mess of our wAges for allowing poverty/starvation/murder/SIN against our neighbor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated by staged fabrications from the press as propaganda often in the form of smiles and/or giving the appearance of warmth which have been nothing more than a distortion of our economic values such as with acts of charity – which serves the purpose to relieve peoples stress just enough without actually changing the system and is in fact the way in which to actually maintain an already corrupt world/money system by simply giving people just enough to prevent them from realizing exactly what’s been accepted and allowed within this world in order that the wealthiest in the world remain that way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a world/money system that values a democracy of material goods whereas the citizen has become a consuming machine pre-programmed in/as the ism of capitalization, thriving in the consumption of objects of monetary value over life itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the human dilemma in the belief that the end justifies the means so much so that we’re deliberately deaf to the countless number of beings suffering without seeing the cause in the effects created as the monster in/as war machines attacking each other according to the propaganda used as ‘props against us’, where we attack life, and then have the nerve to blame another for our madness instead of realizing we as our mind of/as consciousness are our own worst enemy (inner me).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that consumerism offers a quick fix which causes people with little chance to change their social conditions in life to feel as though they are climbing the social hierarchy, when in fact, we’re standing still in our Mess.

I commit myself to supporting a system of equality where the story of us lacks consumption in that there is no more stories to stack against us, there is only here, living harmonies together All One as Life.

I commit myself to supporting a system of equality where humans will stop racing to be the first at a finish line and instead will walk together enjoying each others expression.

I commit myself to supporting an education system that teaches Not fear, yet through gentleness in self-honesty the history of who we’ve been and what we’ve accepted and allowed and through forgiving the past of our future we direct and assist humanity to realize themselves in another through walking a process of receiving that which one first willingly gives unto others as self through the principle of Equality.

Please Read The following Blogs for further perspective and assistance with regards beLIEf in Freedom of Choice

Heaven’s Journey to Life – Consciousness is Autopilot: DAY 39

Heaven’s Journey to Life – Are All Choices Damned?: DAY 44

Heaven’s Journey to Life – Is Any Choice Ever Free?:DAY 45

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 12: BrainWashing and Mind Control

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 17: The Trap of Dementia, Part 1

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 29: The Invisible Invincible Mind

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 47: The Evil Individual

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 48: The Visible and the Invisible