Tag Archive | harmony

Day 284: Redefining and Commitment to Living ‘Grace’

When I looked within myself at how I’ve lived the word ‘grace’, I could see that although I completely comprehend how we as a society have defined it, such as in ‘merriam-webster’:

: a way of moving that is smooth and attractive and that is not stiff or awkward
: a controlled, polite, and pleasant way of behaving
graces : skills that are needed for behaving in a polite way in social situations

I hadn’t really ever considered what living the word ‘grace’ may look like or mean.  In fact, when I looked at how I felt inside myself when I looked at the word ‘grace’, what I saw was a feeling of awkwardness and an almost stumbling within myself, like a ‘not knowing’ so to speak.

So I realized that I’ve never really considered that I’ve not only the ability to redefine who I am as ‘grace’, but I’ve also the responsibility to do so.  In doing so, one like’s to think it would be easy to redefine who one is as ‘grace’, however, asking oneself important questions like ‘what does it mean to live the word ‘grace’ and, ‘what would that mean being for oneself, one’s body, and way of living‘?

It’s not an easy question to answer or live as because who we are as our mind depends upon things from our outside world to stimulate and entertain us, so it requires a slowing down within oneself in order to assist oneself effectively.
When I first began to focus on and redefine myself as ‘grace’, it was cool, but kind of surprising when I realized just how much I reLIEd upon the energy I would get when I’d participate in any way in the bizarre little personal attacks on myself that I was accepting as backchat within my mind.

It’s cool when you commit to investigating these things that are going on within your mind, you begin to see just how ridiculous it all is – like the small sentences of backchat where in your head your hearing things like, ‘you can’t do this’, ‘I’m tired‘, ‘your getting to old for that’, etc, all of which add up to some serious self-judgments and suppression.

So as I’ve been walking this point in real-time – forgiving myself for the self-loathing and self-critical way of thinking, and forgiving myself for allowing myself to be controlled to such a degree where I’ve been motivated to move myself by and as my mind – which is in itself physically exhausting and proof how damaging our thought processes are on our physical body.

Instead of allowing that, I directed myself to stop and forgive myself, so when a self-judgment thought would come up or re-occur, I would stop, breathe and focus on giving myself ‘grace’, remaining aware of what that means and feels like to give myself ‘grace’ as self support.

After a few days, the backchat attack began to raise doubts because my mind as consciousness was losing controls so it used fear through the words, ‘your body can’t handle this’.  That’s when within me, it was like my physical body as me Stood Up, and I saw how when those thoughts came up my entire physical body became tense and uncomfortable and I became aware of how my bottom lip sought to hold down my upper lip real tight like, so I used that as an awareness, a flag if you will to provide assistance for myself to know it’s time to stop and breathe!  Within that I began to recognize who I am as my physical body within and as ‘Grace’,  and how when I allow myself ‘Grace’ my entire inside relaxes in clarity.

So, it’s been a few weeks now since I began investigating this point and I’m realizing who I am as ‘grace’ is becoming of me more and more – where ‘grace’ is a soft place within where I flow comfortably through and as my entire physical body, and within that a great gift emerged in that within and as ‘Grace’, self-judgments towards myself and others cannot and does not exist.

And so I see an opportunity that’s opened up here for me to see, realize and understand what it means to Life the word ‘Grace’ into and as myself and our entire World System within and as All of Existence.

Therefore, I commit myself to direct myself to move myself with an awareness to change what I’ve been accepting and allowing within my world – through self-forgiveness I let go the paranoia that has been placed as control and created around religion and how living the word ‘grace’ throughout our lives became identified with the idea of a “God watching over us” or a “God who knows best” attitude as another way to justify spirituality and the paranoia around it to the extreme – I further commit myself to take actions that prevent harm to All Living beings, to get to the point of having the ‘Grace’ to consider the common good for All Life through a Living Income Proposal, to ensure All the opportunity of Living Life in accordance to what’s Best for All to become part of the way Life exist on Earth.


“Politics is the Fascinating Interesting thing that is In Fact Legitimate and Legal as a way to Change the World, simply by Voting or Getting Involved in Creating Political Parties that Actually Present a Constitutional Bill of Rights, Ensuring that All Laws that exist are Aligned to that, Ensuring that All Necessary Preventions that Ensures a Life that is Best for All Happens on Earth – those kind of stuff all Happen through Politics, through Government. And Government is Not ‘Evil,’ Government is the Product of The People. If Governments are ‘Evil’ as so many Paranoids Claim, then They’re Evil because They are the Ones that Created the Government in the first place, they don’t have an Alternative = that’s quite a Problem. One Shouldn’t Judge: You Should Look for Solutions and Alternatives.

As long as You Have No solutions and Alternatives = You are Judging.

If You Have a Solution and Alternative = it’s No Longer a Judgment, it is Then Common Sense Reasoning.” Bernard Poolman



The Living Income Proposal


“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it was Critical for the Successful Design of Consumerism as Resource Control by the few to get Personal Effort to be SUBJECT to the GRACE of an INVISIBLE GOD to which ALL SUCCESS was ATTRIBUTED, to make sure the Human will ACCEPT Personal Self-Interest as a RIGHT as SINNER to be able to Indulge and Feed Consumerism without feeling Guilty, as a Saviour or Messiah will come or has died for the SINNER that CANNOT Help but being SINFUL by Consuming. In this an INVISIBLE PACT was created between Consumerism and Religion with Consumers FUNDING Religion as a way of Passing for Penance as the 7th Day of Confession and Forgiveness – Creating a Human that Accepts as the Core of the Human: EVIL, that Cannot be Conquered by Self, but only through a Divine force.


I commit myself to show that the Human’s acceptance of themselves as inherently Evil can in fact be conquered by Self and does NOT require a Divine Force or Forgiveness from an Imaginary God, but requires the courage to be Self Honest, to dare oneself to care, and to give oneself the gift of Self-Forgiveness.” Bernard Poolman

Day 251: Forgiving Self Betrayal

Today my partner drove and he and I went off doing a bit of travelling through the backwoods of pawnee and creek county. So we were going along this stretch of road and I began to notice how the road was triggering a memory I have of myself from long ago, and then, an uneasiness began deep within my gut/stomach. I also noticed my breathing was becoming slightly labored and my heartbeat slightly increased and my energy/stamina level began to drop – kind of like the way a person will experience themselves when their sugar level drops.

the suffering of othersSo, just as we were about to come to the place where we would turn off the winding road we were travelling on, I began to experience a pull from within the center of my chest area… A dull pain began in my upper back and chest area and I felt as if I was being sucked into some sort of vortex within my mind and it was then that I chose to let go of the past memory/energy that was begging my participation and it was then that I realized, ‘damn, this is what betrayal feels like, insignificance, fear, and self betrayal’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see, realize and understand that betrayal is that of blame, and how within my experience of inSIGNificance, there were SIGNS for me to see – how when I felt betrayed by something or someone, it was because I conditionally placed my faith and my trust and ultimately my responsibility for me, for my life – I placed it in the hands of another – I gave my life over to another separate form me – giving responsibility for myself to another, instead of taking responsibility for my own life and my own life experiences – then when my life hasn’t worked out the way I wanted it to, I felt betrayed by them, when the fact is, I handed over my life to them, I gave them responsibility of me and ultimately, I became angry.

Therefore, I forgive myself for the anger of betraying myself – for not taking self responsibility for my life and for how I experienced myself, and for suppressing that which I was really experiencing, blaming the experience and my situation on others, on the world, on society as a whole, yet all along presenting to the world that I’m fine, that I’m strong – betraying/deceiving myself and those within my world – blaming others for my own betrayal and deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so engulfed in the fear of taking responsibility that I accepted and allowed my physical body to become petrified, frozen in/as self betrayal and self denial.

Redefining Self Betrayal:

When and as I see myself giving myself over to another and suppressing myself within a point of insignificance which leads to self denial and self betrayal, I stop. I Breathe. I see, realize and understand that this is a pattern within and as my mind – that I Am Willing myself to Stop, to re-design myself, to take Self-responsibility for myself and the World as myself.

I commit myself to let go of the idea’s that I’ve existed as within and as my past relationships to who I am within and as self betrayal.

I commit myself to Stop self denial.

I commit myself to take Self-Responsibility for myself and Stop blaming others for how I experience myself.

I commit myself to changing who I am as my mind/physical body within and as this physical reality/existence as one who is Not a betrayer of self, but is instead Standing within and as the Directive Principal of what I see, realize and understand as the utmost importance, to assist in bringing forth a World where All Life is given to Equally within the Principle of What’s Best for All.


  Suggested blogs to follow:

Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life


Activist’s Journey To Life

Day 195: See The Blind Spot

equalmoney capitalsim
I just finished watching the documentary “Blind Spot” which illustrates clearly the current oil and energy crisis we are facing within our world. This stuff, it should  be broadcast over and over on every television station until we freakin get it because seriously, we’re in deep shit trouble.  The documentary is very educational and it sums up the unbelievable amount of ignorance and greed that we as a humanity exist as as we continue to burn fossil fuels – which are sucking the life out of our planet earth – while we continue to consume our way to oblivion.

I mean, I get it. I get how we become so consumed in our race to survive that we actually tell ourselves that everything is going to be okay when clearly it isn’t. I see now how absurd the things I believed in were according to the ideas and opinions I’ve existed as according to my mind, and it’s downright disgraceful how I’ve taken the gifts given for Everyone from our Physical Reality for granted.

We are going to have to begin to understand who we are as our mind.  Like how and why we think and feel and react in repeating patterns over and over so we can stop who we’ve become and see who we can be through self-forgiveness and self-honesty.

I’ve lived in America my entire life. I come from a middle class family where electricity comes with the convenience of flipping a switch and a seemingly clean glass of water to drink, is a given – well, that is if one has money to pay for them.

I never questioned how the things I always ‘believed’ was ‘my right’ to have – such as water and heat and lights –  I never questioned what would I do if that which I’ve taken for granted were suddenly no longer here to be had?  I never questioned the amount of work/money that was involved in order for me to have water and heat/electricity, nor did I ever question how much money my parents paid every month to huge corporations just so we could have them.

I certainly never questioned or considered the thousands, no millions of people who don’t have either electricity, heat or clean water simply because they aren’t able to pay for it.

I never had a clue as to how our world/money system currently, actually function.

It doesn’t make sense how the every day things that we each one require to survive  – like food and water and heat and electricity/energy – how these life essentials are not even talked about amongst parents and children.  And children certainly aren’t educated or given a solution that will ensure that Life itself will always be able to sustain itself.  Why is that not a top priority?

I’ve lived my life as an energetic fiend. Always taking from what is here instead of giving and assisting in maintaining and supporting life here according to what’s best for all.  The first time I actually began to seriously question my reality, my world, was just over 5 years ago when I first began to hear and read the massive amounts of material offered through Desteni.

It was their message that encouraged me to educate myself as to how our world/money system functions and to investigate the part that self plays within it all and to stand up and take self-responsibility for our world.

I admit that it has not been easy to look in the mirror, to investigate what I’ve accepted and allowed to exist within our world,  but I can also say for a fact that it was way harder to remain stuck in my mind of make beLIEf than it’s been to face, forgive and begin to assist myself to be able to assist in bringing about a world that is best for all.

I seriously challenge anyone reading this to do the same.

See The Blind Spot  and Investigate Equal Money

Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Join the forum:

The FREE online course where you learn Essential Life Skills!
Desteni Lite

Day 192: Let Life Be With Equal Money

226840_1846999506872_1597216487_1803901_4818362_nI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what will become of this world if we continue to “let it be”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in/as the thought/image of myself as walking away, letting it be, letting life be within the totality of the inequality that exists within and as our world/reality/existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it’s ok to just ‘let it be’, meaning: that this is the best we are as a humanity – that’s it’s ok to accept and allow hunger and war and profit and loss, that we should just keep quiet, let it be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself already at the end of my day – where my work is done – where I collapse onto the couch, put my feet up and give myself permission to zone out to the television because I deserve to just ‘let it be’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the ‘let it be’ mindset – where I don’t have to take self-responsibility for how our current world exists because I work hard every day and nothing will ever change anyway, so, I can just ‘let it be’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the backchat within my mind that says: “this world will never change”, because I see, realize and understand that such a statement is me as my mind attempting to put off taking self-responsibility for the massive amount of abuse and ignorance that we continue to accept and allow as our current world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed with our current world/money system to such a degree that my physical body has become feverish and achy, and as a result, I’ve not stood stable and directed myself according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep quiet, to ‘let it be’ in order to ‘keep the peace’ – which is nothing more than an attempt to avoid seeing the truth of what is happening within our world where Capitalism is devouring us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make excuses and to look to others for the answers to who, how, what and why our current world/money system exists as it does.

I commit myself to stop hiding behind masks of and as my mind as characters and personalities and to stand and face me all of me in self-honesty.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing my mind as imagination to run away with and from me and to instead face who I am within the reflections I see of me within and our current world/money system.

I commit myself to stop living the lie of ‘let it be’, because I see, realize and understand that war, poverty and starvation exist because we accept and allow and ‘let it be’, all the while there is the Solution of Equal Money.

I commit myself to breathe and remain aware of the reality of our current world/money system and to show how Equal Money can and will bring lasting change to end all suffering.

I commit myself to show that hunger and war and profit and loss are merely symptoms of a currupt world/money system and that this is Not how Life is suppose to be and that together, one by one, together, we can create Heaven on Earth.

I commit myself to show how it is Not Ok to zone out to t.v. or drugs, or alcohol or anything for that matter because Life is here within and as our Physical Reality – it is Not zoning out in our mind – and, Life requires the assistance of Everyone, thus, I commit myself to Stand together in support of an Equal Money System – the Only System that supports All Life Equally.

I commit myself to breathe and stand stable, to show that Yes WE Can “Let Life Be” with Equal Money.
Investigate Equal Money

Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life

Join the forum:

The FREE online course where you learn Essential Life Skills!
Desteni Lite

Day 93: CONditions of Acceptance

The point of anger towards self according to my acceptance was a point I was able to direct and breathe through today. This is a point I’ve been investigating within myself for awhile with regards to how and what I give acceptance to. Thus sharing here Self-Forgiveness. – –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire and want acceptance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place CONditions of my acceptance of how life exists here based on my personal survival/money system.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to hide myself within and as characters of/as my mind in acceptance of/as specific requireMENts of me in order to maintain a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through fear of loss, accept self validation through others acceptance of me according to how I support their ideas and opinions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forsake the acceptance of me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see, realize and understand how when I place acceptance inside me as my physical body from the starting point of comparison and greed, I create stress which erupts upon the flesh of me as my Physical Body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see, realize and understand how accepting and placing conditions within and upon our Physical Bodies/Reality and limiting support to only those who can pay – creates separation as who we are as our Physical Bodies/Reality, thus we All Pay the price in that to Neglect & Abuse any part of our Physical Bodies/Reality is the same as neglecting and abusing All of us as our Physical Bodies/Reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear Not being accepted by others when speaking up for what I see and realize in equal understanding of how All life must be supported in order to Stop suffering and create Heaven on Earth with Equal Money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a child accept a decision within the context of acceptance and allowance as being the consequence of a decision I made based on how I reacted within a moment in my reality – where within that, I wasn’t actually making a decision according to who I actually am within myself – according to how I was going to walk my life in this world – instead I accepted the consequence of my reaction to become my actual relationship to my reality in separation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see, realize and understand how what I have perceived as me making decisions as who I am within my life have only actually been acceptances and allowances according to our world/money system/friends/family, etc, thus, my decisions have been based on my relationship to my past/memories/personalities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within a ‘holier than thou’ attitude in/as a character/personality to/towards our entire world/money system in believing it to be evil, instead of realizing how the entire world/money system is merely reflecting the evil that I exist as through and as my own acceptance and allowance.

I forgive myself for how I have accepted and allowed myself to create relationships toward the world and people that has impacted my ability, my physical movement and direction in/as my future on this earth, according to my specific point of acceptance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept our current world/money system from the perspective of my own experiences, according to how I exist – where I have money and the ability to feed, clothe and provide for myself and within that I failed to consider how almost half the world — over three billion people — live on less than $2.50 a day – and this I’ve been willing to Not only Accept, I’ve also Allowed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through Not questioning how and what I’m giving acceptance to – live as evil, denying what I’m allowing through shame of how and what is here manifested and created within our world as us, and thus the reason why we’ve not actually ever stood up and taken self-responsibility for ourselves as our physical bodies and our physical reality/world/existence.

When and as I see myself existing within a point of desire in wanting acceptance, I stop. I Breathe. I see, realize and understand that to do so is actually existing in self-denial and I am no longer willing to accept that as who I am.

I commit myself to stop placing conditions on what I’m willing to accept and allow and instead realize that acceptance of self is real when self accepts life on Earth living according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to stop hiding in/as characters/personalities of as my mind as consciousness where I place requirements as comparison and judgment unto others and instead I see, realize and understand how agreements as life according to what’s best for All is the only way to maintain a sense of harmoney in/as self.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that I do not require acceptance – only self-acceptance in self-honesty living equal to and one with all here.

I commit myself to discover who I am as my physical body in full acceptance of/as life here within our physical reality/world/existence according to what’s best for All.

I Commit myself to show how what we give acceptance to is how/what we manifest and create as our World as the outer/physical reality reflecting the inner/physical reality.

I commit myself to prove to me that I am honest with me in every moment as self expression of inner awareness, where I am able to directly point out that which exist within others which is not who they are within and without, as knowing others are as me and not accepting and allowing anything less than who they are as me as life, living according to what’s best for All.

(Please read Heaven’s Blog with regards to: The 1% that Controls All Choice: DAY 89)