Tag Archive | words

Day 278: The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

It’s been just over 6 and a half years since I first began to take responsibility for myself by applying self forgiveness and walking a process of self corrected application. This I’ve been able to do through applying the tools provided through Desteni and the Life Skills & Self-Mastery Online Course offered through Desteni I Process.

What I realized the most about myself in the beginning was that I didn’t have any real self-direction, meaning: for my entire life I had just sort of, ‘followed the crowd’. I did only what I absolutely had to do to survive in this world and frankly, I hated how hard life is when money is scarce, and I had practically given up on humanity because basically, I’d given up on myself.

The big game changer for me was when I failed to pay some fines that I owed to the county, not paying and not completing the conditions of my sentencing landed me in solitary confinement for 2 days, and then jail for 2 weeks. In solitary confinement all I had was myself and the thoughts in my head, and it was then that I knew I had to learn how to stop my thoughts instead of letting the fear of them possess me to the point that I was creating all kinds of unwanted consequences for myself.

Fortunately, the Desteni material assisted me to get a hold of myself, so to speak, to stop running from myself, and interestingly enough, when I began to face myself is when I began to realize that I can no longer allow myself to turn a blind eye to all the suffering in this world from poverty and war for profit.

Art By: Marlen Vargas Del Razo

Marlen art - stop separationSo 6 1/2 years ago, I made the decision to stand up, to take responsibility for myself through writing and self forgiveness and I will continue to do so as I walk my Journey to Life within the realization that life on earth is Not being lived to it’s full potential, and that a great change is not only needed, it is inevitable – what with the great inequalities that we continue to accept and allow to exist within and as our world.

As I continued to comprehend the level of my own brainwashing and the patterns and mind-sets that I’ve allowed to control and direct me, what I knew then, and I’m sure of,  is that there is no turning back. Now that I’ve gotten a glimpse of understanding who I am as my mind as consciousness, and seeing what I’ve been accepting and allowing, I know that I can never again deny myself the chance to in self honesty,  change the very nature of myself for real, through walking the path of Principled Living.

This then the story of How and Why: I commit myself to live by the following Principles, which represent life in a way where the Living experience itself, as Life lived on Earth, may always be in support of Life before profit, as All living beings will be forever recognized and cared for Equally as One.

In posts to come – I will walk practical examples of how I apply / live these principles.

The Desteni of Living

1. Realising and living my utmost potential

2. Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all

3. Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa

4. Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realising I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I take responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others

5. Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realising only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others

6. Realising that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well

7. Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

8. With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as you would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own

9. Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honour and stand by what is best for all and so best for me

10. Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE

11. No one can save you, save yourself – the realisation that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone

12. Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realise I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realisation that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today

13. Honouring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves

14. Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one

15. Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honour, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.

16. Realising that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come

17. I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my living actions, become a living example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realise how we can change this world, by standing united in our self change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth

18. I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this living world.

19. Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realising it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath

20. Realising that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honour, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me

21. We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realise this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without

22. The realisation that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

23. The realisation that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth

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Day 149: You hurt my feelings character

My son’s birthday was a few days ago. I wasn’t able to talk to him or see him and I told myself that I was ok with that. I lied.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie to myself when I fear because I convinced myself it makes me ‘feel’ better when the fact is lying further suppresses within me that which I’m avoiding taking responsibility for.

The last words that my son said to me were: “you’re not my mom, you’re just a lady who gave birth to me”.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I think about my son, I fear when I realize that I can’t talk to him and/or go see him, then I become angry and suppress my anger by becoming a character of ‘you hurt my feelings‘, and within that I forgive myself for how I’ve used the memory of our past argument as a defense mechanism which creates physical pain within me within the illusion of it all in how I’ve held in and on to the memory of his words as if they are jagged edged swords piercing deep within me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how holding onto memories keeps me committed to the past and thus never evolving as a living being but only evolving within methods of protection to defend the memory/past within a definition of self as it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I have used my son’s words to create a character of and as my mind as the ‘you hurt my feelings’ character and as such I continue to walk and live the consequences of my own self-interest in believing that what has been done cannot be undone because I’ve reLIED upon and lived as those words through feelings and emotions which I’ve accepted and allowed to guide me into having experiences of myself accordingly and as such, I’ve not yet realized the extent that I myself have misused and abused the living word itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold an image/picture within myself of myself of how to raise a child, when in fact. I didn’t know the first thing in how to prepare a child to care for themselves and/or their physical reality in order to guarantee a world ready and able to nourish and sustain life on earth into and as eternity according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought as an image/picture to come up within me of when my son was a baby and how having him made me feel proud and on top of the world and how in that one moment I took for granted that I would/could be a great mom when in fact I wasn’t prepared to raise the baby/son and the man to be, yet, I held onto him as if he was a puppy that I could train to love me.

Sometimes, to make myself ‘feel’ better, I imagine everything between him and I is suddenly, magically alright.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself from what I perceive within my mind as a negative experience to then a positive one through imagining everything suddenly is alright between the two of us, when I see, realize and understand that this is how me as my mind has always justified my avoiding taking self-responsibility for myself and others as myself, because in doing so within my mind I never actually face myself and/or never walk any real change of myself into and as who I am within and as my physical reality.

I still have a strong feeling that says: “How dare you”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the kind of parent who reacts to my child within a matter of duty, as if my child owes me something for bringing him/her into this world and thus my actions demand respect,  when in fact,  I see the common sense in how as a parent I failed my children in that I took for granted that I knew and was teaching them what mattered most in life, such as love and God, when the truth is, I was only teaching them what was taught to me and what was taught to my parents,  and in self-honesty, I see, realize and understand how as parents we’ve not investigated our world for ourselves, thus we’ve been living knowledge and information and have not actually been prepared to teach our children how to become a responsible human being as one who recognizes and shares the understanding of the Equality of Life of and as all living beings and supports their world accordingly.

The last time I saw my son was a year ago.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret who I physically become within and as the ‘you hurt my feelings’ character wherein when I’m around my son I walk with my head slightly tilted to the right which I now see is how I walk when I’m in deep thought, thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regret not moving myself in the way I really wanted to which was to physically embrace him within self-honesty and complete acceptance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk my process within wants, desires and expectations of seeking to control others/my children in order for me to have and behave as that which I was seeking in self-interest.

When and as I see myself existing as the character of and as my mind of/as: ‘you hurt my feelings’, I stop, I breathe. I see, realize and understand that feelings manifest who I’ve become as characters/personalities, and that the only power that feelings and emotion have over me is the power that I give them through my participating in and as thoughts and energetic reactions of and as polarity experiences, thus I commit myself to stop patterns of taking a negative experience of myself to that of a positive one in order to justify the demons of who and how I have existed as within my past, therefore, I commit myself to stop who I am as the memory of the words that my son once said to me and I commit myself to purify into life the words we live by and as daily.

I commit myself to stop lying to myself and others as myself and to commit myself to stop walking my process within regret, guilt, wants, desires, energy and expectations.

I commit myself to show how through self-forgiveness one can let go the past and begin a process of healing self from the inside out which can and will manifest unto and as the world as self.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that I cannot fully receive from anyone that which I’m not yet willing to give to all Equally.

** ** ** ** ** ** **                                                                                                                   ** ** ** ** ** **

‎”Parents are not Instructed how to Instruct Children and are thus Not Qualified to be Instructors and are thus Destructors that will even Defend their Right to Destroy their Children in spite of the Fact that if one’s not Trained in Effective Direct Instruction, one is in fact Not Qualified to have Children under one’s Supervision and would Never Employ someone Unqualified to do a Job – yet the most Important Job on Earth, which is to Instruct Newborn Children, is allowed to be Instructed by Unqualified, Inadequate Trainers – resulting in a World where No One is in fact Ever Qualified or Instructed to be part of a Society that is Best for All Present on Earth.” – Bernard Poolman

Day 103: At the End of the Day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from the facts that are everywhere to be seen and understood of how and why our world is the way it is and how and why we are the way we are – because at the end of the day, I’m preprogrammed as consciousness and scared as hell to face what I’ve accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not question what was going on in the mind of a person that can take them to the point to open fire upon and kill people setting in a movie theater – because at the end of the day we put our trust in the media stories to determine the facts for us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a world/money system that puts people in jail and fines them hundreds of dollars for collecting rainwater – because at the end of the day, no one really cares about the fact that profit is valued over life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people really do want to know the truth about how our world/money system exists – because at the end of the day the fact is, people still pray for a cure for cancer which already exists, and to a God that doesn’t exist because they ‘think’ it makes them ‘feel‘ better – instead of realizing it is that which keeps us enslaved.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a world/money system where people will become whatever character is necessary for them to receive their monthly paycheck – because at the end of the day no one cares to apply common sense and take self-responsibility in making a decision to stop supporting that which is Not supportive for All life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that what we allow to happen to another we are ultimately accepting and allowing to happen to us – because at the end of the day the majority is enslaved to the minority – instead of realizing what it really means to walk in the shoes of another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore how the most common causes of stress in family life are money and work related in/as being enslaved to our current world/money system – because at the end of the day, we don’t want to let go of self-interest and greed and come together as a Group to Stand in Support of an Equal Money System to bring an end to world hunger/wars and enslavement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the battle within myself and manifest and create it as my outside world – because at the end of the day I haven’t seen, realized and understood how when I see war and hunger I am seeing my own existence within and as myself as such.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that even when we ‘believe’ we’ve ‘found’ ourselves, we still get up every morning and go to work every day and participate in same way, always enslaved to the same world/money system – because at the end of the day we’ve not considered a solution to why so many millions of people are happily participating in this capitalistic repressive system and ‘believing’ ourselves to be living ‘the good LIEfe’ within an enslaved institution as consciousness programmed beings – thus in our choosing to ‘believe we’ve found ourselves’ we’re only expressing the continuation of our participation in/as our own mind/enslavement.

I commit myself to at the end of the day in self-honesty prove to/for myself that I have walked the day in and as the shoes of another in standing in support of a system which will educate All living beings in how to effectively support our earth and all life here according to manifesting a world according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to question and investigate my world and to see, realize and understand my responsibility within everything and all life here.

I commit myself to stop sacrificing the lives of all so that a few can have everything and to instead support a system which supports Everyone according to What’s Best for All to manifest a world in/as Equality.

Please read and watch the following for reference:
The Century of the Self
Colorado shooting suspect was facing eviction
30 Days In Jail For Collecting Rainwater
Cancer Cure Documentary – Dr. Burzynski Antineoplaston Therapy
Day 15: Who am I? Prisoner of the Mind?
Day 27: Money is the Soldiers of the Mind
Equal Money

Day 18: Relationship Reaction to Voice Tonality

My partner said something to me today, and I reacted. Looking at the point now, it’s interesting because I see how I didn’t react so much to the words he said as much as the tone in which he spoke them. Obviously, I heard his words, but it was in his voice tonality in how it resonated within me – in how I connected with his meaning through his tone and then reacted.  My reaction was just there suddenly and I allowed myself to be swept into an emotional storm even within an understanding within myself that my reaction was coming forth even in my awareness of how I was in fact existing as the very point I was reacting to, and, I didn’t stop.  I didn’t stop and breathe and direct myself as I’ve learned and applied before – actually as we’ve both learned and applied before through our course in Desteni I Process.

So what happened was, I began to speak within an unconscious reaction, and then because of my voice tonality, my partner then reacted towards me, and so the complete moment turned into outbursts at each other until we both finally recognized ourself as breath, and stopped.  This is the point that I’m applying self-forgiveness for.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to react to my partners voice tonality – instead of stopping and moving myself to breathe and communicate to my partner that I’ve gone into an immediate reaction so as to allow myself a moment to breathe and remain here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to Not assist and support myself and my partner in being aware of my/our breathing to become aware of our voice tonality that it remain constant, clear, here, without reaction.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to when talking about a specific point with my partner I unconsciously reacted to his voice tonality which he then upon hearing a rise within my voice tonality, then reacted causing us both to set off a series of CHAIN REACTIONS, literally, existing as nothing more than  two minds as consciousness colliding and arguing at each other – which is of no use to us, or anyone or anything within this world, and certainly is in no way self-honest communication.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fall within the point wherein there was a moment within myself when I had the opportunity to stop, to shut the fuck up and breathe, to recognize the part of me that was equal to the tonality within his voice that I  reacted to, that I felt disappointment to/towards and thus, instead of forgiving myself,  I demanded a form of restitution by attacking.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be directed as a reactive energy of and as my mind as consciousness instead of breathing and directing myself here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to during a disagreement with my partner – want to throw my hands up and say fuck it – when in fact when I stop and breathe, and direct myself in self-honesty, I realize that that is Not what I really want.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become irritated and impatient towards my partner, instead of stopping and breathing in what I’ve realized in that that which I judge and/or bitch about another is in fact what I’m existing as within myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want to pull away in further separation from my partner during moments of disagreement – instead of stopping immediately and moving myself to breathe wherein I am able to see myself clearly in how and what I’m existing as and accepting myself to be in the moment and correct myself through self-corrective application.

Artwork By: Andrew Gable

I commit myself to when I see a reaction coming up within me to/towards my partner- I commit myself to stop and breathe and move myself to communicate in self-honesty in sharing what is going on within me so that my partner and I may assist and support each other with effective communication and through self-forgiveness assist each other walking together our individual Journey to Life to assist and support in bringing about a world that’s best for all.

I commit myself to slowing down and remaining aware of myself as breath so as to assist and support myself and my partner in assisting others in stopping the suffering and abuse and standing up in support for and as all Life.

I commit myself to never giving up on myself as I walk this process of self-forgiveness, along this Journey to Life, as I see and realize that this world is not as it can and must be in order that suffering and abuse may someday end, and in seeing the suffering of the animals and in realizing how the children of this world suffer in silence til they become living examples of us and so the cycles of suffering, abuse and death continue,  and I see, realize and understand that I am equally responsible to assist life as it currently exists so that Life in it’s truest form may emerge here within and as our physical reality as all as one as Equal.

I commit myself to becoming life as speaking and living words as me in self-honesty wherein my words as me in written and spoken form may emerge into and as a way that is supportive to/for and as all living beings and thus I commit myself to first breathing before I accept myself as inserting words unto this reality so that I may be assured that I am stopping myself from contributing any further suffering and/or abuse upon another and that I am in fact standing up for what’s Best for All.

“I commit myself to create love as the living result of communication, past life clearing, vocabulary alignment, psychological patterning clearing, self honesty, intimacy, goal alignment, investigation of and release of irrational fears and the training of myself in the skills of effective agreement design that all my relationships maybe always be best on what is best for life because of the relationship that was agreed to be formed.” Bernard Poolman

For further assistance with relationships visit: Creation’s Journey to Life –  Day 14: Do you Love Breakups?

And Desteni I Process New Relationships  Course 

Day 2 – Self-Trust

I finished watching a movie today called, ‘Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close’ – which is based upon the 2005 fictional writings of Jonathan Safran Foer. Jonathan introduces us to nine year old Oskar Schell whose father died a year earlier on 9/11 in the World Trace Center. Oskar finds a key while looking through his father’s belongings and so he sets out on a mission to find the lock that fits the key and he travels all over New York City by himself in a desperate longing to reconnect with his father. The movie is just as predictable as any movie with a similar story line. However, it’s the words written by Foer, where one will notice the ‘reeling’ in and direction of the consciousness mind. And, the lack of self-trust and without self-trust, there is no self.

If you’ve ever been fishing – you’ll understand my reference to the word ‘reeling’. When you’re holding that fishing pole in hand and we bait the hook and then we cast it into the water and wait for the fish to bite so we can reel in our catch. That’s exactly how the words quoted in the movie is – it’s ‘bait for the mind consciousness system’. Hearing the words, I realized how very quickly mental masturbation was just moments away from me within the words written/spoken within the film. I felt the pull of intoxication which I was able to breathe through and stop so I’m going to share a few of those quotes below – and more importantly, I’ll be sharing self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements to walk in self-corrective application which is supportive in directing self as life.

Reading the quotes, we have to understand that consciousness believes that we are only as ‘it’ defines us, so it’s vital to investigate our thoughts and/or reactions/emotions/feelings, as well as the origin, especially if there is confusion and/or a perplexity existing within us as this would indicate self-definition points revealing within us something we’ve not yet considered.

Quotes from the movie:

“Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.”

I was aware of how much my mind gravitated toward this particular quote. It was like it had a familiar comfortable feel to it. As I slowed myself down and remained aware of my breathing – I recognized an emotion of regret which I’ve recently become aware of through walking Desteni I Process. I’ve used this point of origin before against myself as a coping mechanism to remain stuck within that point of regret.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to shift into a coping mechanism of regret triggered by the words ‘bones straining’, where I unconsciously went into a polarity point of good/bad where within my secret mind I allowed a social comparison wherein I saw myself through the eyes of the mind consciousness system within myself and towards myself as not being good enough and thus judged myself as if I was seeing myself through another’s eyes as ‘them’ casting judgment towards me, thus I judged myself within comparison which further fuels and entraps me in memories of regret wherein I remain stuck in time programmed by words and sound frequencies.

When and as I see myself participating within the coping mechanism of regret triggered by words – I stop. I Breathe. I realize that I have walked this pattern and I’m aware of the consequences of existing within polarity of good/bad, right/wrong and positive/negative. Instead I breathe in the process of deconstructing this patterns through self forgiveness and re-constructing self through a commitment of correction to that which is best for all life.

This is where Oskar is remembering a question he once asked his father.
“Well, what I don’t get is why do we exist? I don’t mean how, but why. I watched the fireflies of his thoughts orbit his head. Then he said, we exist because we exist. We could imagine all sorts of universes unlike this one, but this is the one that happened. And Just because you’re an atheist, that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t love for things to have reasons for why they are.”

My mind directing me as consciousness was totally attracted to this – even though it answers nothing, provides no real assistance and obviously no real solution for how our world currently exists in how we overlook the obvious scam we’ve accepted as Capitalism. The words are completely backwards in it’s way of hiding the obvious – which is that everyone and everything exists within the reason of and for Money. Every single decision is based upon reasons of greed, competition and wanting to have more than our neighbor as we continue to struggle to survive within a corrupt monetary system while we support a few who have it all because we accept and allow it. Plain and simple, this screams fatal attraction and the mind as consciousness thrives on this because it’s like a roller coaster to no-where under consciousness direction.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a fatal attraction like experience within myself triggered by words which keeps me within the illusion of hope and feel good connotations of enslavement for myself and all living beings where I completely forgo all common sense and the ability to direct myself according to what is real and according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself for pretending that I don’t see those who are starving to death while I continue to support a monetary system through purchasing things I don’t even require just so I can feel better about how I look to others and/or so I will have more than my neighbor even when I know that valuing profit over life is murder.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that how our world exists in poverty, war, rape, murder and starvation are manifestations of and symptom of the disease we call Capitalism.

When and as I see myself manifesting myself as a reactive-expression – I stop, I breathe. I realize the pattern is attempting to defend my EGO. I stop separation in self-interest. I stand one and equal as the moment with the other being breathing in awareness of and as all as one as Equal.

When and as I see myself participating within a pattern of self pity and self judgment because I fear facing the truth of me as what I’ve been and become – I stop, I breath. I do not accept nor allow self pity and/or self judgment to exist within me – Instead I stand in support of an Equal Money system to bring an end to poverty, war, rape, murder and starvation and manifestations and/or symptoms of the disease we call Capitalism. I breathe in the process of deconstructing this patterns through self forgiveness and re-constructing self through a commitment of correction to that which is best for all life.

“I have no need for the past, I thought, like a child. I did not consider that the past might have a need for me.”

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live in through and as memories of my past as thoughts, feelings and emotions and thus have kept the past alive as what is here and is in and as the future of what I’ve yet to walk, be and become.

When and as I see myself participating in memory patterns – I stop. I breathe. I understand that memories are like escape routes the mind uses to enforce direction from the past to here and I no longer accept that as who I am. Instead I commit myself to re-designing myself from the inside out in support of a system of Equal Money where all living beings are equally supported.

“Just two days ago she said that her life story was happening faster than her life.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk so fast that I’ve stumbled over my own words similar to an experience on speed wherein I accessed a personality due to conversations and thought patterns as mind participation instead of slowing myself down and breathing in awareness of me as my physical body here within and as this physical reality.

“It’s the tragedy of loving, you can’t love anything more than something you miss.”

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that what I’m missing is myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear in simply being here within and as the human physical body because I’ve had inner desires to be more and feel like more.

“No matter how much I feel, I’m not going to let it out. If I have to cry, I’m gonna cry on the inside. If I have to bleed, I’ll bruise. If my heart starts going crazy, I’m not gonna tell everyone in the world about it. It doesn’t help anything. It just makes everyone’s life worse. But if you’re burying your feelings deep inside you, you won’t really be you, will you?”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a mistake and fear being wrong because I fear being judged by others.

“Maybe we’re just missing things we’ve lost, or hoping for what we want to come.”

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to wait in hoping for someone and/or something to take the wrongness out of how I feel.

“Feeling pain is still better than not feeling, isn’t it?”

I forgive myself that I’ve separated myself from me as my physical body to such an extreme that I didn’t realize that feelings and emotions and thinking is creating pain within me as my physical body as well as within the pain and suffering within our physical reality.

“She let out a laugh, and then she put her hand over her mouth, like she was angry at herself for forgetting her sadness.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself within the fear that I wasn’t behaving as I was suppose to according to the beliefs of others and how they were feeling and/or experiencing themselves and/or for fear they might question the validity of my actions.

“And then a thought came into my brain that wasn’t like the other thoughts. It was closer to me, and louder. I didn’t know where it came from, or what it meant, or if I loved it or hated it. It opened up like a fist, or a flower.”

I forgive myself for rejecting me Cathy, through the thoughts that I have accepted and allowed to exist within my mind which I have participated within and which I have not yet directed as myself – one and equal. I commit myself to forgive myself and stop the thoughts, feelings, emotions and reactions and to direct myself here one and equal as life.

“We go on killing each other to no purpose! It is war waged by humanity against humanity, and it will only end when there’s no one left to fight.”

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to wage a war first within myself through dishonesty in who I’ve been according to how I walked and talked and acted as the necessary personality I saw that was required according to where I was and who I was with and as I existed in and as such inner wars of discontent I subsequently remained unaware of my responsibiltiy for the war we waged against life within and as our world.

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What’s missing within the words/quotes of the movie? Self-Trust

Without self-trust there is just illusion and fear, because when we’re trusting hope and faith and love and beliefs, our trust in self isn’t real.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that I have never actually lived as who I am as breath as the moment as me – that I have always accepted and allowed the mind to control / direct and influence me through believing and perceiving that who I am is thoughts/feelings and emotions. Till here no further. I Stop. I Breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put my self trust outside myself into someone and/or something else.

When and as I see myself lacking self trust where I’m being directed/influenced and/or believing and perceiving that who I am is thoughts/feelings and emotions, I stop. I Breathe. I realize that I’ve proved to myself that I am able to effectively stop and direct myself within and as self-honesty and according to the Principle of Equality – a Principle supportive of and as All as One as Equal.

Through daily writing and applying self-forgiveness – self-honesty steps forth, and through self-corrective statements one is able to develop self-trust. This must be proven to and for self by self through daily written, spoken and applied application.

I commit myself to re-designing myself from the inside out in support of a system of Equal Money where all living beings are equally supported.
Cathy Krafft

The Journey to Life – Join us Walking