Tag Archive | visionary

Day 271: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Death of a Relationship – Day 38

To share how one experience themself when someone close to them dies, doesn’t come easy for most of us because the subject of death is one we work hard to avoid. I mean on the one hand we want to talk with others about how shocked we are from the loss of a loved-one through a sudden or unexpected death, yet on the other hand, the topic of death itself triggers our ultimate fear, our fear of death and dying.
death of a relationship
Since being diagnosed some 10 months ago with Breast Cancer, I’ve been investigating my fear of death, even still it is very uncomfortable when death hits close to home.  It’s like looking behind yourself, to your past to see yourself, yet knowing full well within yourself,  that you did not see ‘it’ coming, ‘it’ being ‘death’, which always brings with it, the ‘death of a relationship’.

My favorite uncle was admitted into the hospital for Bacterial Pneumonia, and this is an all to familiar road because in my family, my mother and my brother, both died from pneumonia, and then now, my uncle has died from it as well, he was 53.

My uncle was one of the funniest people I’ve ever been around, and I wish I would have called him a month ago when the thought of doing so was triggered when my daughter mentioned she’d seen him where she had been working that day.

This time as the news of the death of a close family member came, I became oddly aware of how it was like for a moment, time stood still and for a split second I saw no difference between death and life. Meaning in how we exist here, acting like we’re life,  all the while existing like the living dead in how we accept and allow things like war, poverty and starvation to exist.  All I know is, that in that moment,  life and death seemed oddly the same and if only for a moment, there was no evidence within me of fear.

The moment of having no fear was of course fleeting, and I watched as I allowed myself to get sucked into the memories of the relationship I had with my uncle.  I remained aware of how my mind wanted to indulge in an enjoyable recollection of past events which came with an uncomfortable feeling of regret, guilt and sadness.  An all to familiar feeling within my mind that comes with the death of a relationship.

For the moment, this is all I can share,  but I will be watching and reading Heaven‘s Blog, because the specific context that’s being walked is about when something unexpected happens within one’s world that is personally-traumatic, where one go into an absolute mental and physical shock.

This will prove to be very assisting for how I’ve experienced myself the last couple of weeks – in how I felt ‘hectic’ inside myself when the fact is, it was hectic because of how within my mind I’ve been grieving within the fear of loss.  Basically, I’ve participated within and as the energy of regret, guilt and sadness while facing my ultimate fear, my fear of death and dying…

Alright, that’s all for now.

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Be Sure to Read:
Shock, Trauma and Stress: DAY 479

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Day 176: After Death Communication – Part 25

“This World Is, Practically Speaking: Judgment Day. You’re Living it, Every day, Every breath. You are Living, Your Judgment. And, as you Judge, whether it is to Pretend that you are More than Life, or that you are the Product of Allowed Abuse, and thus Less than it : you are the One that Choose. You are the one that Decide. You are the One that Determine. You are the One that Allow. You are the One that Accept. You are the One Who will Find, that what is Here, is what is Hereafter. Unless you Change, while you’re Here, Proven Steadfastly, that you have In Fact Changed, Consistently, Breath by Breath, Never to Again Allow Life to Fall under your Self Interested Judgment; unless you Walk this in such a Steadfast Way that you will Never be Doubted, because you Never Doubt yourself, because You Will Stand regardless of what it Takes, to Bring About that Which is Best for Life, in Every Way, Always: You’ll Not be Worthy of Life.

And, because you don’t know when your Last Breath is, I suggest: You Stand Fast, and then Remain Steadfast. Because, by Now, Commonsense should Show you, that when you Die – All that Happens to the Dead, is that the Living try and keep their Memory Alive.” Bernard Poolman

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Day 267: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – The Money Trap – Day 37

Just talking about Money, or rather the lack of it causes me to feel dis-ease within myself. I become uncomfortable inside my skin and it’s like I’m suddenly trapped and the fact is, we’re All trapped in a deadly Money System that thrives off of the suffering of others…

The other night I wrote a blog that I titled:  Day 264: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – The Cost of Alternative Cancer Treatments and How Living Income Guaranteed is the Solution – Day 35

I wrote the following sentence:

“All in all, we spend approximately $800 US Dollars every month on the things I absolutely have to have in order to get well.” 

And then today, my partner was saying to me how the amount of money we spend every month purchasing the things that I absolutely have to have in order to specifically follow the alternative cancer treatment plan that I’ve chosen,  is way more than I said it was.  As I heard him say those words , of course I knew that he was correct, because pretty much 75% of everythimg that we spend money on is what I require if I’m to be successful in getting well with my treatment plan for breast cancer.

that thing called moneyAs I agreed with what my partner was saying, I knew I had to stop and breathe and remain aware of this sort of mini possession my mind was trying to take me into. Instead of allowing myself to go get  stuck in a point of paranoia,  I began to see the practicality in what becomes of the money we spend on my supplies.

A quick glance around my house one might not even know that my home has become my treatment center. A place where, for the first time in my life, I’m putting the welfare of my physical body first and foremost and being responsible for nourishing it – instead of what my mind would prefer by way of wants and desires.

I began to look back to when I first began my daily treatment routine. How me as my mind didn’t take kindly to the routine much less to the fact that there were no excuses allowed to not follow the routine strictly. The first 3 months I became somewhat depressed and felt as if I was mistreating myself.  It was what I’ve learned through applying the tools offered through Desteni I Process that got me through it – where I was able to remain consistent through using how the mind loves the comfort of routine, thus my daily routine has become only things that offer assistance, support and healing for my physical body.

So from the moment my feet touched the floor in the mornings, instead of going for a morning cup of coffee, I had to begin a most unexpected thing. And, In the beginning, my first thought every single day was, ‘I can’t do ‘it’ anymore’. The ‘it’ was, as Dr. Kelley puts it, an absolute necessity for the Cancer Patient, and one that should be done first thing every day within the first hour upon rising in the morning. I had so much resistance to the idea of it in the beginning but now I completely get how the human can direct oneself to change because I’ve been doing ‘it’ every morning now for 10 months and it never crosses my mind to not do it.

What I’m referring to is giving myself a coffee enema. It’s something that I’ve only now become comfortable talking about because now I get it. I understand the importance of the coffee enema. It assists my body to flush out the toxins that are being ingested by the massive amount of pancreatic enzymes that I take.  I also drink 3 ounces of Essiac Tea  3 times a day for detoxification as well.

So the point here is,  how the very mention of money causes me to be distracted from my goal of getting well and remaining focused and consistent. And, it’s important for me to have a reality check for myself because this topic is a sore spot and when my partner mentioned that we spend way more than $800 US Dollars – I immediately became aware of how tense my upper back and chest area became. I began to experience myself as irritated at myself for having accepted and allowed myself to get cancer in the first place. And this is how the mind trips us up and we become sucked into an automated pattern of self interest and self pity where we become afflicted by what’s called the plum disease,  “poor little old me”,   and we begin to describe ourselves with self-deprecating phrases..

Please don’t mistake my meaning, because how I experience life and how you or anyone experiences life on earth matters. Every bit of it. Everyone and Everything that is here is specific whether we understand it or not. The life experience on Earth is the direct result/ consequence of what each one of us accept and allow. Like how we accept and allow poverty and war and dirty politicians, and how we accept and allow the so-called rich and famous to set the standards with regards to who and what’s important within our world.

What’s important is that we don’t stop questioning our reality until we’re absolutely sure that all suffering has come to an end. Because as a Society, WE ARE in Big Trouble. So much so that debt collection is greeted with more support than the issue of the growing number of people around our world who have little to no access to clean drinking water.

Ok, so I’m realizing that I can forgive myself for the blame I’ve put on others instead of seeing the role that I play in how our current world/money system exists. And how I AM able to direct myself to change who I am, to stop any actions of greed in how I’ve lived my life only looking out for me and mine – to instead, be a living example of what it is to Give to another that which I would want given to me. Because what is best is a World where our Earth, our Waters and our Air are given priorities of protection, because they Give Life and since all living beings require these elements then the right to all of them must be given Freely.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself start to get anxious or irritable when the topic of spending money comes up – where within my mind I begin to feel sorry for myself for having to spend so much money on the things that I require to assist my physical body to recover – I stop, I breathe – I slow myself down and I walk with consistency completing those movements that are important in redesigning who I am and how I live my life according to what’s best for all.

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“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that the human is the complete slave of the mind that capitulated with ease, and thus will require extensive time to realize the true nature of the MIND and MONEY.

I commit myself to show that real power is Life and NOT money.

I commit myself to show that equality as the physical interconnectedness realized will end the reign of money and mind as God.

I commit myself to awaken the physical to its true nature and being as Life.

I commit myself to confront those that are possessed by money and mind with Life so they may wake up from their hypnotic sleep.

I commit myself to show that war only exists because of its participants, and that all participants are equally responsible for the abuse of war, and that to allow war through silence, is to be part of war.

I commit myself to show that breathing disciplined, committed to Life as what is best for all Life, will always come to full realization that will end all slavery of Life.” ~ Bernard Poolman

Day 265: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – On Death and Dying – Day 36

Every once in awhile I’ll have a day where what’s going on in my mind is a repeating pattern of specific memories, memories that I’ve given value to according to an experience from my past.  These particular memories mostly include members of my family who have died, like for instance my mom, my brother and/or my sister.   The memories are accompanied with a strange feel good sadness where I reminisce as I indulge in an enjoyable recollection of my past experiences.  This is how my mind reels me in, ever so gently until it’s like the trigger is pulled and instantly, I become locked within a semi-sweet memory/feeling that will always go from a positive energy experience to a negative one in like 2.2 seconds and suddenly,  I’m face to face with my fear of death and dying.

Artwork by: Marlen Vargas Del Razo
marlens2This particular pattern has become less frequent than when it began which is what I allowed to happen the first time I was told that I had breast cancer.

So in the first few months as the pattern evolved I would miss the memory as the trigger and be swept away in Fear rather quickly.  But now,  it’s like I’m having new memories come forth but not really.

 Still I’m very aware of how  I’ve entered another dimension of myself as my mind and now I’m seeing how the memory was always here for me to access to be able to stop and forgive myself however,  I was moving so fast within myself as my mind that I was unable or unwilling to look, to see where and who I’ve been during all the memories that I have stored within every part of my physical body.

So now I’m seeing an increased awareness coming forth from within me and it’s become easier to investigate further into and as the patterns of my mind.  It’s definitely a process worth walking for oneself and I’m fortunate, because I’ve had the tools from Desteni I Process and I know how to apply them and in doing so I’ve been able to direct myself within a clearer understanding of how having cancer is proving to be very self-educating and thus very assisting.

Also it’s important to note here how weird my sleeping was last night and how I was constantly and continually aware of an intense pain within my breast surrounding the areas where the lump is. ‘The lump’ has become less scary to touch for me now, so when the pain comes, it’s like I allow myself to go into the pain, to focus on remaining aware of my breathing and allow myself to investigate the pain – instead of trying to run and hide from it in fear within my mind.  Sometimes briefly I’ll catch myself off guard and be swept in for a moment.   For a second I’ll became trapped in a mini-automated paranoia episode taking place within my mind about death and dying, but more and more I’ve been able to stop, breathe and investigate the how’s and why’s to determine how I may assist my physical body to get well.

With regards to the pain I had last night which was similar to the same kind of pain I’ve had on at least 4 other occasions, I’ve come to realize that according to the sensation of the pain and how it physically feels like there’s a pulling taking place – it’s like the lump is pulling away from the surrounding tissue that it’s grown attached to – like the lump is ever so slowly letting go, dying, becoming a dead tumor.

Of course, I can’t yet prove my theory, but if that is in fact what’s happening, then the results will eventually become known anyway…. The point here that I’m trying to put into words, is that when I ‘get physical‘, so to speak, when I hear my body when it’s hurting,  thirsty and/or basically when my physical body is giving me an opportunity to see who I am as it and direct myself,  it’s interesting,  because it is in that moment when my fear of death and dying ceases to exist.

Alright so that’s all for tonight.

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“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have Realized that the FLESH acts like a HARDDRIVE, that Stores one’s Memories as Stories as the History of the Creation of the Character in the Narrative used as the Idea of Self, which is then Projected on the Screen of the MIND which Tell A Vision show and supported by the words the Self Speaks to Convince this Self as Character that it is Real, but take away the Memories, and the Self Disappears immediately, exactly what happens at Death as well.

I commit myself to SHOW that the FLESH as STORAGE of Memories From which is Created Personal Consciousness, is NOT GRASPED and that the Importance given to the MIND cause a World of ABUSE and DELUSION that will keep on Growing ’till Man wake up and Study the Real ISSUES in the TISSUE of the Body.” ~ Bernard Poolman

Day 264: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – The Cost of Alternative Cancer Treatments and How Living Income Guaranteed is the Solution – Day 35

Today I got a little freaky about the amount of money we’ve been having to spend lately on organic fruits and vegetables, and tea, as well as pancreatic enzymes and vitamins and ALL the other stuff that I have to have as I continue with my Daily Alternative Treatment plan – which includes the Metabolic Diet, which initself  brings about a kind of stability and strengthens and assists in ridding the physical body of cancer.

Lig guaranteed incomeTo give a quick update: My last HCG urine test showed a decrease in cancer from 53.0 to 52.6. This was proof after 6 months that what I’m applying is effective. The end of this month will put me at 10 months of treatment and so I will be sending off another urine sample to see if there has been improvement.

I realized today that when I got a ‘little freaky’, or rather when I become ‘anxious’ about money,  I experience that anxiety in the pit of my stomach – just thinking about spending money sends me reeling in my mind in fear of not having enough of it.

All in all, we spend approximately $800 US Dollars every month on the things I absolutely have to have in order to get well. It doesn’t seem fair for me to complain because I’m fortunate in that I have an amazing supportive partner, who works hard and provides a way where we’re able to get me the things I need.   And,,,The truth is, Everyone should be so fortunate…

I am absolutely certain that if we removed the day to day stress of worrying about whether or not we’ll have enough money for food, or for a home,  or,  will we be able to afford an Education and/or find a job.  Money stresses us out more than we realize and we should take the time to investigate and consider who we’d be,  if we removed all our Money woes – by providing a Living Income for Everyone.

There is absolutely no telling who we’d all become. Our day to day interaction with each other would almost immediately change because we’d begin to stop participating in our mind within the thoughts/fears of not knowing if we’re even going to have, or make enough Money to survive.

Can you imagine never again worrying about whether you’ll have enough of something?

Can you imagine being able to have a place to live in that you can call your own?

Can you imagine going to work because you’re willing to contribute to improving Life on Earth for Everyone, and not just because you have to because you need money?

Can you imagine the enjoyment of Giving to Everyone every opportunity that we ourself would like to Receive?

Imagine how a Living Income Guaranteed will Change Your Life!

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“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the Daily Life on the Daily Planet of Society Revolves around Pretentious Characters that SWOP Places Depending on the Situation and Context of the Environment a Person find themselves in as the NOW, Creating in Full Knowledge Billions of fake Scenarios Daily where all Participants Pretend to Be a Character just to Suit the Illusion around which Society Revolves.

I commit myself to SHOW that SWOPPING PLACES in the MIND between Characters Deliberately Designed for Survival on Earth, is a Field and Frontier yet to Become Realized by Humanity, and Once this is Understood, Life on Earth will dramatically change, as the Value System will NO Longer Feed the Illusion of the MIND.” Bernard Poolman

Day 148: Swopping Places

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Investigate:

Living Income Guaranteed

Day 256: Hooked on a Feeling

This morning I was listening to Joao Jesus‘s song that he wrote/sings/ dedicated to Bernard Poolman shortly after Bernard died. As I heard it I realized I was still in the energy of sadness. I mean, I miss Everything about Bernard to the point that I depended upon my relationship with him to move me, to give me energy, to motivate me.

The ‘Relationship’ I had with Bernard was one that began as a positive energy experience that me as my mind became extremely fond of…Even though I never met Bernard in person, I became acquainted with him online in early 2008 after having spent months listening to quite a list of Desteni video’s on youtube.
hooked on a feeling
It was on the Desteni website that I first read the words of Bernard Poolman as well as when I became familiar with the Desteni material – which contains insights into the afterlife and perspectives on how our mind as consciousness functions.

It All made perfect sense and for the most part, I felt like I was keeping a clear perspective.

However, within my mind, I was making Bernard Poolman out to be a God, our Savior, and the one I aspired to be like.

So basically, I followed Bernard within and as an energy. A positive energetic feeling that I can only describe as ‘intense’, yet within that, there was a sort of,,, built in safety net,  where I would harness any and all attention that I would interpret myself as having received from him.  Then I used that energy for comfort, and I used it to motivate and deceive myself within a picture in my mind giving myself the illusion of progress within walking my process.   So now, I see, realize and understand how in doing so I hindered myself in developing my own point of self trust and stability.

So this is a point I’ve been investigating for a few weeks now and so when I heard Joao’s song this morning and saw how it triggered an energy of sadness,  I began to see how my mind was using that energy to generate and fuel the memory in an attempt to keep my relationship to Bernard alive.  Realizing what was going on I stopped participating in what was a positive cozy feel good energy illusion masked in sadness. All in an attempt to keep in place an idea within my mind with regards to my relationship with Bernard and all the ‘specialness’ that entailed.

So it’s been interesting to see how I depended upon resourcing that energy for/as my mind and only now realizing that I’m actually resourcing the energy from my own physical body so that who I am as ego can continue. WTF!

I mean, I’ve been playing around within and as a emotional experience of sadness and using it to fuel my ego. And how the way that I experienced myself,  in using that sadness emotion, had nothing to do with who Bernard Poolman actually was. Because I mean Bernard was a Man of Honour.  He Honored LIfe within all that Life consists of and as.

So, I certainly see how I fell within this point, and so, I am here. Standing up and beginning again because the thing is, there is nothing else to do. I’ve walked this Journey to Life long enough to know that I can only avoid facing myself for so long. That finally there comes the point where walking the practical application of self correction is not only necessary it’s unavoidable and inevitable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a person within my memories to where every time I think about them or think about what happened to them I become sad to where the sadness overwhelms me to the point of compromising myself and my relationship to life and living and within that not seeing, realizing and understanding the extent that doing so can lead one to depression all the while not understanding energy’s relationship to memory and/or to a person therefore, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the consequences of participating in the emotional experience of sadness within my mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I was only looking at the memories through energy.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that every time I “think” of the memory, I’m making myself sad, and to instead consider that there’s more to my relationship with this person that I walked for an extended period of time than me just becoming emotionally sad every time I think of them or remember them.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the only purpose my mind has for reminding me of something and or someone is because it generates energy, an emotional energy of sadness which it utilize to energize itself with.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how the energy of sadness feels within my solar plexus, how when I feel sad it’s like a sudden shift inside myself where I feel destabilized and yet within that an odd feeling of comfort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel as if I can’t let go of the sadness because if I let go I’m dishonoring the loss / the relationship, and / or that the sadness will somehow keep them alive.

I commit myself to ground myself in relation to sadness/loss by looking beyond the point of disconnection / the death, and to instead look at the process with which I walked with the person, to look at the gifts within the relationship that I can gift to myself.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that when I revisit a memory in relation to death / loss and the sadness comes in relation to the energy I used in looking into them, that all that’s doing is benefiting my mind and in no way benefit who I am or my life and living.

I commit myself to slow down within myself, to be with myself breathing, free from using something or someone outside of myself for energy/stimulation.

I commit myself to look at memories with a clear direct perspective by approaching the memories of that someone / loss within the starting point of ‘what can I learn from what I have walked with the person’.

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“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that TRUST as Self-Trust as Life is the realization that Life is the only Real Value, and that Humanity as a group must Give to each other the Right to Life to such a Level that TRUST can be established that is consistent for all Life so that the Game of Fear can stop and abuse on Earth of Life in favour of survival in self-interest, will be NO MORE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I only trust the inner me as my teacher, I am lost – as the inner me, inner voice, is physically programmed to always follow the system, even when it looks like a Love/Hate Relationship. Any inner voice is ALWAYS the result of external programming that took many years to form the you that you accept yourself to be.

I commit myself to demonstrate that the human is physically programmed as an Organic Robot with Fuzzy Logic that will always end up choosing one of the programmes the system wants the human to choose, regardless of intent and that the human is a physical slave with the Mind NOT the Real Power.

I commit myself to show that Relationships built on: I Love You and Trust Me, are bound to fail, as the Human does not understand how this reality of the Flesh as Living Word really functions.” Bernard Poolman

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Bernard’s Passing Away

The Words of Bernard Poolman

Bernard Poolman people hate to love him

Day 250: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Clearing the Path – Day 32

When I was first diagnosed with Breast Cancer, the beginning of April this year, the first thing I wanted to do was to chat with Bernard Poolman. I was sure that he would ease my fears by saying something to me that would catapult me out of my inner state of panic. But, the reality of my situation is that having Cancer for me, is a living consequence of the past decisions I made, where the result of those decisions have manifested within and as my physical body. So the ‘saving grace’, so to speak, that I was looking for, was in reality Not real, and in fact, never has been real no matter how much I attempted in my mind to make it out to be.
clearing the path
This particular chat would be my last one with Bernard – as he passed away just 4 days ago -and one of the things he said to me, which I barely understood at the time because I was so reeling in the fear of dying. I mean, I was so scared from being diagnosed with Cancer that all I could share with him was how I knew there was something I wanted to ask him but for the life of me I couldn’t remember what it was. Here was his reply to me:

This is why I am here to speak to you. Cathy, you are faced with seemingly, a great challenge. But, from my perspective – you’re faced with a Great Opportunity. An opportunity to Walk a Process of facing this beast head-on. In this, you are not going to pre-judge anything. You’re going to consider All Points and then you’re going to write about it. Calling the beast by its name: Breast Cancer. Cathy, yes – this may kill you. That is, at the moment, uncertain. So, the time available – is to do what is best. If you stay, so be it. If you go, so be it. It was inevitably anyway, one way or the other. This way, you can make something of it. I would suggest that anxiety and/or fear has an effect of freezing the physical body, which impairs the immune system and makes it less effective. So, the psychological effect of cancer is actually more dangerous than anything else. So, also to write about this – very specifically, reporting your physical experience that arise due to anxiety and fear and how it makes you feel ,and to look at the physical movement of this through your release with self forgiveness and self honesty. I would say, you are the One that can face this gift. There are certainly no coincidences.” ~Bernard Poolman, April 3, 2013

Just now I’m re-reading his words and I’m asking myself: ‘what is it that I’m wanting to express here in this blog and in sharing our chat with the world‘? A chat which was so very intimate to me. And the fact is, that what I’ve realized in the days that have followed since Bernard’s passing, is that in the beginning of my diagnosis, and even in the days following my chat with Bernard, I accepted and allowed all these idea’s I had in my mind about Cancer – ideas I’ve accumulated throughout my lifetime – to overwhelm and consume me. So much so that recently, there was not an hour that would go by during my days that I did not feel consumed within an identity of myself as ‘the cancer patient‘. Where within my mind, I saw and accepted myself as sick and diminished, a failure, and as such, I began to give up on living.

So what does all this have to do with the passing of Bernard Poolman? I can only say that his passing has shaken me to the depths of my being. Because just this time last week, I didn’t think I could go on, nor did I want to. This I didn’t share with anyone. It was the secret I was keeping to myself within my mind and it was the secret I was keeping even from myself. That’s how/why the secret mind is called the secret mind.

Now, Bernard’s death, it shook me to the core, shook me out of my secret mind, to such a degree that interestingly enough, since his passing, I am no longer consumed within and as those pictures, the identitly, nor within what felt like a curse in how I was seeing myself – as a victim of myself with Cancer.

I am now clear and willing to walk my process in greater depths, to investigate and Clear the Path of my past – to uncover how and why I manifested Cancer within me, and to remove such design from my being within and so without.

Alright, so, I in No way mean to imply that Bernard’s passing somehow magically or mystically healed me, or that he is somehow my savior. No that’s not it.

What I am saying is that I’ve had enough of my own self abuse and it stops here. And that regardless of how cruel and insensitive our World and our Money System has become, Bernard Poolman lived life within the realm of bringing Heaven to life on Earth. He was that which we can All become through Self-honesty and Self-Forgiveness and he proved that the human can breathe integrity into Life.  Even in death his Words remain the same for those who will hear, and he left this World a better place for having been here.

I for One will Not waste another moment lost in self interest in my secret mind in fear of having cancer, instead,

I Commit Myself to my process, to become also a Living example of what it is to Walk the Path of Equality and Oneness, as the Example that Bernard Pooman has Given to Us Each One.

Cheers to Bernard Poolman!

Let’s Walk

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  Suggested blogs to follow:

Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

&

Activist’s Journey To Life

Day 249: The Beast of Desteni: Bernard Poolman

I first became acquainted with who Bernard Poolman was through his words in the early part of 2008. The first thing that struck me about Bernard was how through the words that he spoke and the words that he wrote he was constant and fearless.  And, in the beginning, I wasn’t sure how he had accomplished such a point of stability but within me, I longed to exist within and as the same.
the beast of Desteni
So for almost 6 years now, every single day, I’ve either heard or read the words of Bernard Poolman, and though I never actually physically met him, I am sure I know him as well as if I had.

So yesterday when I read the following in an email:

We are here to inform you that Bernard passed away in the early hours of Sunday the 11th of August.”

I immediately became aware of how I felt as if a part of myself died with him.

If there was one thing I’ve learned from the stability that knowing Bernard Poolman gave – it’s that everything that Bernard Poolman said and did, was specific and an action based upon what’s best for all, and I see this, the moment of his death as no different in that even in his death he gives life, that I am sure of.

Now there were those who were ‘put off’ or ‘pissed off’ by the words of Bernard Poolman and if one looks at the ‘reasons’ for their pissedoffness, we can always see the self-interest. Because I mean, how can anyone be pissed off and hate someone who remains stable in their support of All Living beings, for ALL Life???

Strangely enough our brainwashed preprogrammed mind as consciousness breeds plenty who are/were threatened by Bernard’s unwavering stand in bringing forth a world where No one suffers simply because they have no money or the means for proper food/nutrition, housing and an education.

So in March of 2011, it was then that I had my first one on one chat with Bernard and I asked him how, as he walked his process – obviously with no one else as a point of assistance , as we at Desteni have now – what was his most assistance to himself, other than breathing. And, interesting that, here it is more than 2 years later and the words he shared with me that day are assisting me with the loss I am experiencing today from his passing.

Here is his answer:

“I would say, the focus on having direction that is clear, whether it is Yes/No / Positive/Negative = I always pushed for clarity. But at the same time, always regarded the Physical-Reality as a sequential-‘time action-based system’, that sometimes change, just – if we wait long enough.

I also asked questions and listened, very carefully – to all the answers, as if it could possibly hold the key to the universe.

Then, I developed a way to communicate with reality through my physical-body; with pain as indicator of attention.

And, I realised, that if I lie to myself – things will just take longer, and inevitably I will just end up in the same position having to do it again.

Initially – I ended up in the same positions, because I had a disease called hope, and a mental disorder called Religion, that was imbedded in me to the core of my being; and that took me the longest to remove. It was as if faith attempted to prove faithfulness as the key to God, while the whole world screamed the opposite. Yet – I couldn’t feel it, and I didn’t want to see it. And so – there were some interdimensional beings, that reminded me from time to time.”

Alright so since hearing of Bernard’s passing I have cried many tears, and, I feel sadness and a sense of loss and I realize that I found much comfort in knowing that Bernard Poolman existed here on Earth and yes, he was quite a point of stability and one that, quite frankly, I would never have chosen to given up.

And that point is key because it’s in our ‘absence of giving’ that we’ve come to ‘give up‘ on ourselves and our physical world/reality/existence and we accept and allow abuse such as poverty to exist when it absolutely doesn’t have to.

So in a way, it’s self interest that makes me sad because I won’t get to meet Bernard in person, to shake his hand, look into his eyes and give him a hug. To Thank him for being a Living example of what a human being can be in/as Equality and Oneness.   Bernard was the living example of what it is to take self responsibility for what is here and to put forth the solutions to ensure that No one ever have to suffer again. He shared common sense and compassion daily for everyone from the tiniest to the largest of all living beings, and if you’re reading this and you’ve not studied the words of Bernard Poolman and Desteni, then do Yourself and the World a favor, begin studying them now.

We Who Are Destonians, We Will Not Stop till this is Done = Heaven on Earth

“Why Cry for Me and not the Millions of Children starving today?”  ~ Bernard Poolman

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The following Quote is from a Discussion by Bernard about Compassion

“Ask-yourself: What is True-Compassion? Stand there, where the Animal is being Slaughtered: and Ask-yourself what is true-Compassion. Stand there, where the Child is being Raped: and Ask-yourself. Stand there, where War Wages – Stand there, where there is Abuse: and Ask-yourself what is true-Compassion. Stand there, where many `drink and party´, oblivious to what´s going-on: and Ask-yourself what is true-Compassion.” ` Bernard Poolman

Hear Complete Interview Here: Compassion of the Light 

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  Suggested blogs to follow:

Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

&

Activist’s Journey To Life