Tag Archive | viral pneumonia

Day 271: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Death of a Relationship – Day 38

To share how one experience themself when someone close to them dies, doesn’t come easy for most of us because the subject of death is one we work hard to avoid. I mean on the one hand we want to talk with others about how shocked we are from the loss of a loved-one through a sudden or unexpected death, yet on the other hand, the topic of death itself triggers our ultimate fear, our fear of death and dying.
death of a relationship
Since being diagnosed some 10 months ago with Breast Cancer, I’ve been investigating my fear of death, even still it is very uncomfortable when death hits close to home.  It’s like looking behind yourself, to your past to see yourself, yet knowing full well within yourself,  that you did not see ‘it’ coming, ‘it’ being ‘death’, which always brings with it, the ‘death of a relationship’.

My favorite uncle was admitted into the hospital for Bacterial Pneumonia, and this is an all to familiar road because in my family, my mother and my brother, both died from pneumonia, and then now, my uncle has died from it as well, he was 53.

My uncle was one of the funniest people I’ve ever been around, and I wish I would have called him a month ago when the thought of doing so was triggered when my daughter mentioned she’d seen him where she had been working that day.

This time as the news of the death of a close family member came, I became oddly aware of how it was like for a moment, time stood still and for a split second I saw no difference between death and life. Meaning in how we exist here, acting like we’re life,  all the while existing like the living dead in how we accept and allow things like war, poverty and starvation to exist.  All I know is, that in that moment,  life and death seemed oddly the same and if only for a moment, there was no evidence within me of fear.

The moment of having no fear was of course fleeting, and I watched as I allowed myself to get sucked into the memories of the relationship I had with my uncle.  I remained aware of how my mind wanted to indulge in an enjoyable recollection of past events which came with an uncomfortable feeling of regret, guilt and sadness.  An all to familiar feeling within my mind that comes with the death of a relationship.

For the moment, this is all I can share,  but I will be watching and reading Heaven‘s Blog, because the specific context that’s being walked is about when something unexpected happens within one’s world that is personally-traumatic, where one go into an absolute mental and physical shock.

This will prove to be very assisting for how I’ve experienced myself the last couple of weeks – in how I felt ‘hectic’ inside myself when the fact is, it was hectic because of how within my mind I’ve been grieving within the fear of loss.  Basically, I’ve participated within and as the energy of regret, guilt and sadness while facing my ultimate fear, my fear of death and dying…

Alright, that’s all for now.

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Be Sure to Read:
Shock, Trauma and Stress: DAY 479

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Day 176: After Death Communication – Part 25

“This World Is, Practically Speaking: Judgment Day. You’re Living it, Every day, Every breath. You are Living, Your Judgment. And, as you Judge, whether it is to Pretend that you are More than Life, or that you are the Product of Allowed Abuse, and thus Less than it : you are the One that Choose. You are the one that Decide. You are the One that Determine. You are the One that Allow. You are the One that Accept. You are the One Who will Find, that what is Here, is what is Hereafter. Unless you Change, while you’re Here, Proven Steadfastly, that you have In Fact Changed, Consistently, Breath by Breath, Never to Again Allow Life to Fall under your Self Interested Judgment; unless you Walk this in such a Steadfast Way that you will Never be Doubted, because you Never Doubt yourself, because You Will Stand regardless of what it Takes, to Bring About that Which is Best for Life, in Every Way, Always: You’ll Not be Worthy of Life.

And, because you don’t know when your Last Breath is, I suggest: You Stand Fast, and then Remain Steadfast. Because, by Now, Commonsense should Show you, that when you Die – All that Happens to the Dead, is that the Living try and keep their Memory Alive.” Bernard Poolman

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Nonsensical world of fear


Recently my brother was hospitalized with viral pneumonia. When hearing about his illness, immediately members of my family were extremely upset. Of course this is a natural reaction in fear of death – fear of losing the person as well as that sudden remembrance of our own mortality – that we’re all going to die someday. When I received the call about how sick he was, what I noticed immediately was the tone of my daughters voice. She sounded as if she was crying so I asked her why was she crying and she replied with, ‘well, you know why’. I asked her if it was because of how my sister, (her aunt) had just died 4 months earlier and she quickly replied that no that wasn’t it. She said that she was scared because this is how grandma had died. My mom died a little over 10 years ago when she suddenly became ill and was put in the hospital with viral pneumonia. She was put in a drug induced coma after a few days of no improvement and never regained consciousness.

I realized that the fear she felt from that memory was her reasoning for how she was feeling and she accepted herself as it so she became the fear and was projecting her fear onto another. I also saw how within myself – I had not had that memory come forth. It’s not that I had forgot about it. Of course I hadn’t. I have however walked a mind construct on the particular memory through Desteni I Process but, I have to admit that even I was surprised in how the ‘memory/thought’ didn’t ‘cross my mind’ – as if that particular ‘cross’ was no longer mine to bare and all there was was an empty space which served as a point of awareness of myself forgiven.

As the days passed my brother’s biggest fear happened as they had to put him into a drug induced coma because he’d not improved. When I heard of their decision to do so, I noticed immediately the presence of an energetic fear slightly registering in the tips of my toes. I was like, hell no… I stopped – I focused on my breathing and immediately the energy no longer existed. It was in that moment that I realized that I had no clue as to why and how putting someone in a drug induced coma is a solution to assist one to heal from viral pneumonia.

I began to investigate and discovered that inducing a coma has proved to stop the progression of viral, systemic fungal and/or bacterial infections. And that doing so has made it possible to reverse the expansion of physical illnesses from terminal to recovery. So basically, they’re stopping the mind because in a coma there is very little brain activity and so then the physical is given the ability to heal itself – free from worrisome thoughts which through our participation in and as them create emotions and feelings, which cause stress on our physical body preventing us from healing properly. The common sense in a nonsensical world of fear.

I’m again reminded how important it is to educate oneself with regards to how and why everything within our world exists as it does – beginning first with self.

Investigating self and this world requires self-honesty and self-diligence. And the fast pace in which we live, in how we struggle to survive within our current money system, does not allow for thorough due-diligence. We’ve got to change that, and we can by supporting an Equal Money System – which supports all Life according to what’s best for all. Then all life can begin truly living – instead of existing in a nonsensical world of fear.

As of now, my brother is stable and improving, so they are slowly reducing the amount of drug used to induce the coma until he is completely off of it. Ultimately, the choice of whether he survives is completely in his own hands. As it is with us all.

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