Tag Archive | stress

Day 287: Stuttering: LifeStyle Experiment Report

This is to share the results of an intervention of sorts that involved my daughter and I assisting and supporting her son / my 11 year old grandson with stuttering and how it affected his lifestyle, his life.  At the time he was struggling terribly with the fear of having to stand in front of his entire class and speak as part of a graded assignment because he was afraid he’d start stuttering in front of everyone.

stutteringMy daughter and I spoke frequently about solutions that might assist him, like speech therapy for instance – which he did get.  Speech therapy is designed to teach specific skills or behaviors that will lead to improved oral communication.

But, there was still a problem because when he experienced what he perceived within his mind to be a stressful situation, he didn’t have the tools to handle himself and so instead of saying what he wanted to say, stuttering would overcome him and disable him from being able to continue.  And, when that happened, he would kind of shut down inside himself,  and so practicing his communication skills was greatly limited.

So it was a little over a year ago when my oldest daughter and I were looking together for a solution for when such moments would overcome him when I realized that with what I’m learning through the Desteni I Process Pro Course  or even in DIP Lite – that if he applied even just one of the many tools that the courses offer, that maybe he’d be able to assist himself when the stress or anxiety and fear come up and stop stuttering all together.

And so my daughter assisted him daily to apply himself,  and it’s important to understand that we kept it simple in how we suggested to him that when he see himself become anxious, or when the stutter begins, that he take that moment to first breathe, and pay close attention to what his thoughts are when the anxiety / ot stuttering begins.  In the beginning the process was like taking baby steps, but then we saw how over time and as he got better at looking at and identifying his thoughts, that’s when we began to hear him peak without stress or stuttering and within that he began to develop self-trust.

It’s fascinating how becoming aware of one’s thoughts and stopping them, that one can control and even Change who they are, and in this case, bring an end to stuttering, because here it is a year later, and I haven’t heard him stutter in months.   And when and if he finds himself in a moment of stress and / or stuttering begins, it’s nice to know that he has a tool that he recognizes will assist him to be able to stop and then speak clearly.

Can you imagine what it would have been like or would be like if as a child you’re given these wonderful tools that help you to understand all the thoughts and the feelings and All the emotional stresses that exist within and as our mind?

It would of made quite a difference for me because if I could have understood how and why I was having all kinds of emotional turmoil within and as my mind,  I would of been more receptive with regards to my education process for one thing and more considerate of others,  because if we’re spending less time participating in our fears within and as our mind then we’re able to make time to nurture our relationships with others, our reality and what’s going on within and as our world.

So we’ve got to make it a priority to blog, to write out what’s going on within us,  and to get to a point where we are able to assist our children in stopping who and what we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be as our mind,  and doing so will make all the difference in the world for All of US.

And, let’s be honest, most of us have no clue what to do with all the chatter / backchat and fears that exist within us as our mind.  Until one day we realize how stuck we are in our very own secret mind world, and within that comes all sorts of unwanted patterns / behaviors.

So there is no doubt about it, if we can understand why and how thoughts and feelings and emotions come up within us that cause all sorts of reactions and conflict, then we can forgive them, release / stop them, and re-design who we are free from fear and self-limitation. And I mean, as we change our relationship with ourself to one where we take responsibility for who we are as our mind and begin to direct ourself in self-honesty, then we can begin to change our relationships with others and then maybe we can change Life on Earth to a place where living is about giving – instead of life being the struggle that it is to survive.

FYI: Please understand that the results shared here will vary from person to person, and that there are many tools that are offered through Desteni I Process courses that will further assist one in the process of stopping a habit / pattern / construct that exists within and as our mind – like for example, stuttering.

Also understand that there is much to consider with regards to understanding what goes on within and as the mind consciousness system and stuttering.  Please direct your questions about stuttering to the Desteni Forum. Thanks!

Oh and my grandson is now applying a similar process to help himself to stop biting his nails. I will share the results as they’re available.

 

“When you’re setting out to change something about yourself it’s not going to happen magically on it’s own – you have to be the driving force behind it. Changing a pattern of behaviour or a thought pattern requires that you actually do the new behaviour that you want to live and stop the old behaviour. This concept of fake it till you become it is exactly it – you have to practice and push yourself to do things and behave in ways that are outside your comfort zone and that may seem scary.
The first important thing you must make sure of is that that fear of “what if (I do it badly, it ends up being the wrong choice, I can’t do it…)” doesn’t stop you. Obviously changing yourself is going to need practice, so you won’t get it perfect the first (or second, or third, or even hundredth) time – but you have to keep practicing until you become the new pattern that you feel will benefit, the pattern that you actually want to live in your life.” Cerise Poolman

 

Check out the FREE online course and Learn Essential Life skills:
Desteni I Process Lite


A Must Hear Series: Parenting – Perfecting the Human Race

 

Blogs to Read that go Great with the topic of this Blog:

Day 26 – Me as a Weakling Polar B(F)ear – Part 1

Day 27 – Me as a Weakling Polar B(F)ear – Part 2

Day 256 – SF/SCS on Day 237 – On Taking Security Measures All The Time

Day 245 The great Gifts ( And Downfalls) Of Being an Introvert – Is Change possible?

Part 2: The Great Gifts ( and Downfalls) Of being an Introvert – Sinking Relationships

Advertisements

Day 285: Letting go of holding on to what used to be

Today I stumbled upon the picture of a couple celebrating 40 years of marriage. Now, I knew them when they were a newly married couple and very much a part of my life, some 40 years ago. I was 18, newly married with a baby boy who was less than a year old when I first met them. My then husband and I met them through a new church we were trying out at the time. Him and I would go on to spend some 7 years of our life hanging out with the them and some other couple’s – all of us were part of a young couple’s group that at the time was growing rapidly with many babies on the way.

what used to be

So I haven’t seen or even heard anything about this couple for at least 30 years, which is around the time that my first marriage ended and I just never saw them again. My ex got custody of our church friends and the church, so seeing the picture of the two of them together celebrating 40 years of marriage triggered a memory of my life with them in it and what I noticed upon seeing it was how within me. I felt a sort of odd comforting energetic sadness.

The oddly familiar emotion / energy is the same as I’ve been aware of going on within me for awhile now. So with the thing coming up again I realize that here’s another opportunity to fall for it or face it straight on and not participate in the energy of the thing. Instead I focus on breathing and continue on without the energy but remaining aware of how within the memory is this sadness / emotion within the idea and self-judgments and fear of loss I have towards myself within my mind in seeing myself growing old..

The topic of growing old and all that it entails has been a familiar topic as of late within the group that my partner and I are apart of, and I highly recommend one watch the Senior Live Google Hangouts for awesome support for topics regarding growing older.

Ok so what I realized when I saw the picture of them looking 40 years older was a moment where within me, I missed me, the me I was when I was with them way back then. For a moment I saw who I was in the memory and I wanted to take in the energy as comfort as if it were real. Instead, I was able to Stop, to breathe and remain aware of myself as I investigated the memory and directed myself to not allow myself to be taken over by it and I realized how growing old feels like the death of ourself, like grieving for ourself.

And I mean, when I look in the mirror, I don’t see the face of myself when I was 20, or 30 or even 40! And the thing about growing old is that no one prepares us for it. Sure no one wants to die, but no one really wants to start looking old either. Oh sure people joke about it or even lie and say they enjoy being older… But, ask most people who are over 55 and they’ll tell you that one of the hardest things about getting older is that it’s like you become invisible to others. It’s like people don’t really look at older folks, and anyone who is used to getting attention / energy – based on how they look for example – for them, growing old may mean the beginning of depression and / or feelings of isolation.

Both depression and isolating myself from others is something that I’ve written much self-forgiveness for and yet the point of growing old and how that feels within myself, is one I continue to investigate with the tools I’ve come to learn through Desteni I Process Pro . Together with those tools, and having cancer, I have the opportunity to physically reverse some of the damage that I’ve caused to my physical body through how and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be through and as my mind.

I see, realize and understand that, specifically with forgiving myself and letting go of holding on to what used to be. I see how within what feels like grief or sadness is actually a reaction of energy within the ‘fear of loss‘ and ‘fear of letting go’ construct. Seeing that,, I had to ask myself what holding onto things within myself within the construct of ‘fear of loss’ and ‘fear of letting go’ – how is being that construct, controlling and influencing my physical body..?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as my physical body to be in a constant state of fear that something may or might be lost and within that, I forgive myself for the adrenaline that comes up within my physical body as stress within the fear of ‘I must be ready’, for if and when something goes wrong that would cause me to lose control or cause me to lose my relationship to that something or someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the words, ‘you can’t control it’ within the ‘fear of loss’ and ‘fear of letting go’ construct.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the relationship between the words; ‘letting go’ and ‘control’ – where I’ve created an illusion that if I don’t control something or someone I will lose it/them and/or I will lose the context of myself in relation to that something or someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how that control and fear of loss relationship that the emotional energy creates is a physical tension within and as my physical body and how that physical tension imposes stress within and on the physical body.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my relationship with regards to how I react to the idea of letting go of fear of loss becomes similar to the grieving process because it’s who and how I’ve always existed as, thus, participation in any memory / thoughts of growing old and/or grief / sadness of who I used to be is simply because I’ve not yet walked a physical application where I do NOT react when fear of loss and letting go are triggered and / or when thoughts come up within emotions of sadness / grief, therefore, I commit myself to when and as I react in fear of loss and/or fear of letting go in relations to someone or something within my life I stop, I breathe, I apply self-forgiveness in the moment and let go and release, to move myself and Direct myself to Stand within the Decision to let it go.

I commit myself to when and as I see a memory come up – where my mind begs me to remember what so and so did and said, and how wonderful it was in how I believe the memory makes me feel – that this is a red flag for me to know there is more to forgive, thus I commit myself to ask myself what about it do I want to hold onto and what is it about myself within it that I do not want to change – to assist myself to Stand within my Commitment to let go of the fear of loss / the fear of letting go and the feeling of growing old / grief / sadness.

I commit myself to know where I stand with people and things, where I Stop the illusion within my mind of believing that I have to hold onto something or someone and to instead redefine my relationship to it/them according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that anything that can be lost, cannot and is Not real.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to continue to Investigate and Forgive myself for my relationship to things and people within the dimensions of control and fear of loss.

 

Day 271: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Death of a Relationship – Day 38

To share how one experience themself when someone close to them dies, doesn’t come easy for most of us because the subject of death is one we work hard to avoid. I mean on the one hand we want to talk with others about how shocked we are from the loss of a loved-one through a sudden or unexpected death, yet on the other hand, the topic of death itself triggers our ultimate fear, our fear of death and dying.
death of a relationship
Since being diagnosed some 10 months ago with Breast Cancer, I’ve been investigating my fear of death, even still it is very uncomfortable when death hits close to home.  It’s like looking behind yourself, to your past to see yourself, yet knowing full well within yourself,  that you did not see ‘it’ coming, ‘it’ being ‘death’, which always brings with it, the ‘death of a relationship’.

My favorite uncle was admitted into the hospital for Bacterial Pneumonia, and this is an all to familiar road because in my family, my mother and my brother, both died from pneumonia, and then now, my uncle has died from it as well, he was 53.

My uncle was one of the funniest people I’ve ever been around, and I wish I would have called him a month ago when the thought of doing so was triggered when my daughter mentioned she’d seen him where she had been working that day.

This time as the news of the death of a close family member came, I became oddly aware of how it was like for a moment, time stood still and for a split second I saw no difference between death and life. Meaning in how we exist here, acting like we’re life,  all the while existing like the living dead in how we accept and allow things like war, poverty and starvation to exist.  All I know is, that in that moment,  life and death seemed oddly the same and if only for a moment, there was no evidence within me of fear.

The moment of having no fear was of course fleeting, and I watched as I allowed myself to get sucked into the memories of the relationship I had with my uncle.  I remained aware of how my mind wanted to indulge in an enjoyable recollection of past events which came with an uncomfortable feeling of regret, guilt and sadness.  An all to familiar feeling within my mind that comes with the death of a relationship.

For the moment, this is all I can share,  but I will be watching and reading Heaven‘s Blog, because the specific context that’s being walked is about when something unexpected happens within one’s world that is personally-traumatic, where one go into an absolute mental and physical shock.

This will prove to be very assisting for how I’ve experienced myself the last couple of weeks – in how I felt ‘hectic’ inside myself when the fact is, it was hectic because of how within my mind I’ve been grieving within the fear of loss.  Basically, I’ve participated within and as the energy of regret, guilt and sadness while facing my ultimate fear, my fear of death and dying…

Alright, that’s all for now.

********************************

Be Sure to Read:
Shock, Trauma and Stress: DAY 479

********************************

Day 176: After Death Communication – Part 25

“This World Is, Practically Speaking: Judgment Day. You’re Living it, Every day, Every breath. You are Living, Your Judgment. And, as you Judge, whether it is to Pretend that you are More than Life, or that you are the Product of Allowed Abuse, and thus Less than it : you are the One that Choose. You are the one that Decide. You are the One that Determine. You are the One that Allow. You are the One that Accept. You are the One Who will Find, that what is Here, is what is Hereafter. Unless you Change, while you’re Here, Proven Steadfastly, that you have In Fact Changed, Consistently, Breath by Breath, Never to Again Allow Life to Fall under your Self Interested Judgment; unless you Walk this in such a Steadfast Way that you will Never be Doubted, because you Never Doubt yourself, because You Will Stand regardless of what it Takes, to Bring About that Which is Best for Life, in Every Way, Always: You’ll Not be Worthy of Life.

And, because you don’t know when your Last Breath is, I suggest: You Stand Fast, and then Remain Steadfast. Because, by Now, Commonsense should Show you, that when you Die – All that Happens to the Dead, is that the Living try and keep their Memory Alive.” Bernard Poolman

Day 266: When a Child Dies

The quote below is from the following article: Boy, 4, dies falling into a bathtub under 37-year-old babysitter’s watch at Times Square luxury apartment building

“The child’s death came as a surprise for tenants in the 40-story luxury tower.” 

Reading about the death of a child is the hardest thing to hear about regardless of how they died.  When I read the above article, it was the above sentence that caught my eye and seemed to scream Wake-UP People!   Seriously, we have to ask ourselves how is it that those we live physically closest to, like our neighbors for instance, how it is that we don’t know a damn thing about them really with regards to how their actually experiencing themself day after day after day.   The question remains: ‘How is it we can live next door to an abused child and never even notice their being abused?

“…you did it because the group called humans allowed it to happen. The neighbors refused to take care of each other – you refused to be your brothers keeper. You refused to love your neighbor as yourself. All you were looking for is things to blame to hide your own part in playing evil in this world…” Bernard Poolman

avoidanceThis World is a dangerous place for children and animals, and I’m not sure how we’ve gotten this far considering that we as ‘the adults’ that exist in the child’s life for instance – whether it be that you’re the parent or the grandparent, the babysitter or close friend – how most of us, have minimal skills when it comes to knowing how to assist and support the child through any given situation.

My granddaughter Emmeline – who is 3 1/2 years old – she reminds me daily how important it is to be aware of what she’s doing at any given moment. And I’m seeing how she’s changing,  as her mind seems to be turning itself against her.

Yesterday she was hanging out in the living room area as I was finishing some cooking in the kitchen. Inside, our house was very quiet,  and then, for the first time ever, I hear her began to sing a song that I’ve heard her listen to with her mom, and this particular song is one that her and her mom both have said is their favorite.  It was interesting to watch her singing it because she sang with great confidence and her acting seemed spot on for how she must have witnessed another singing it considering that at 3 1/2 she has no real idea what the meaning is within the words she was repeating from the song: ‘Wrecking Ball‘ by Miley Cyrus.  

I can see how at 3 1/2 she is only now becoming acquainted with her imagination and is beginning to tell stories that make sense if only to her.    She is still somewhat unpredictable and so you never know what one her age might decide to do.  So young children require an adult checking in on them frequently and they need for us to get a clue to the fact that they’re going through a rough time as their mind begins to integrate into and as their physical body so it’s time we take that fact into consideration. 

A must Hear Interview Series that assists one to understand how to Assist the Child at Eqafe is: Parenting – Perfecting the Human Race Series.  A very interesting series with an overview of the 3 Phases of Child Development: Phase I: 0-1 Years, Phase II: 1-3 Years and Phase III: 3-7 Years.

Also to add, I’ve noticed that Emmeline has also become very emotional. One might even say she’s moody. A couple of days ago I saw her crawl under the kitchen table and then she started to kind of whimper for like 15 seconds, she then stopped, crawled out from under the table,  and took off running toward the couch where she landed with the greatest of ease.

If I give any attention to any one of her emotional outbursts then it’s like I’ve disrupted her entire process and she may or may not become agitated. There have been plenty times lately when I’ve kept Emmeline and I can see she’s having trouble expressing herself because she’s beginning to feel things she’s never felt before and the truth is,  sometimes I’m not sure if I should try and comfort her or let her be.   Sometimes she makes this sort of blank smiley face where her eyes look upward like she’s accessing her mind, kind of zombie like and I can’t help but ask: ‘who’s she acting like now’?  Mostly I’m realizing that it is only with her assistance,  that I’m able to be of any assistance for her at all.

For sure she has taught me that one on one communication with each other is vital for our physical health and our mental stability. So please.  remain aware of where and what the young child under your care is busy doing, because mostly they’re looking for something to occupy themselves with.  Thus, we have to stay awake, literally, remain aware and within hearing distance in case they require our assistance, or in case we require theirs.

Parenting – Perfecting the Human Race Series

Why am I Series 

Fears & Phobias Series 

The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination Series

Support LIG

*********************

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that Parents are not Instructed how to Instruct Children and are thus Not Qualified to be Instructors and are thus Destructors that will even Defend their Right to Destroy their Children in spite of the Fact that if one’s not Trained in Effective Direct Instruction, one is in fact Not Qualified to have Children under one’s Supervision and would Never Employ someone Unqualified to do a Job – yet the most Important Job on Earth, which is to Instruct Newborn Children, is allowed to be Instructed by Unqualified, Inadequate Trainers – resulting in a World where No One is in fact Ever Qualified or Instructed to be part of a Society that is Best for All Present on Earth; and Although lip service is paid to Ideals like ‘Love thy Neighbor as Thyself’ it is Never Actualized as the Parent as New Life Unqualified Instruction Never Learned the Practical Implication where ‘Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself’ actually Exists.

I commit myself to SHOW that the foundation of Positive and Negative Results that are Used as Self Motivation in the Game of Survival are Based on Ignorance, and Ignoring that All Participants in Life on Earth are Inadequately Instructed as to How to Live in a Way that will be Best for Self and all other Life Forms – and this thus, Living much Positive/Negative Consideration, Does not in fact Produce a Better World, it only justifies an Inadequate Society in astounding Ignorance.

I commit myself to SHOW that No One can Walk the Path of Self Correction as What is Best for All Life without Instructions, as the Way to Life is Not In the Inner Structure of the Human, and thus the Desteni-I-Process is of Essential Importance if One is Ready to Face the Nature of a World of Ignorance.” ~ Bernard Poolman

Day 110 – Children are Not Born with Instructions

Day 181: Time to stop yanking my own chain

For context read:
Day 179: Just get it done
Day 180: Just get it done – Part 2

continuing…

Internal Conversation/ back chat Dimension:

I will never get this done

Oh my God I can’t sit still another minute

I need to get finished with this because I have a lot to do

what’s the point, no one really cares anyway

I’ll take a break and finish the rest of this later

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go from a negative internal conversation/back chat to creating a physical resistance within myself to sitting down and writing and/or to completing my DIP assignments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I create a negative experience to being responsible, for example in writing and completing an assignment, therefore the internal conversations which urge me to find something else to do is a way for me to avoid taking responsibility by creating a positive experience out of a negative one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I have internal conversation and back chat that says: ‘what’s the point, no one really cares anyway’, that in that moment I am not breathing – that I am existing in self-interest and craving attention from outside myself and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘yank my own chain‘ so to speak, where I allow myself to pull the wool over my own eyes and screw myself over royally in the process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I have internal conversation and back chat that says: ‘I’ll take a break and finish the rest of this later’, that this is a red flag for myself to stop and breathe and to realize that when I accept and allow myself to fall for this line of bullshit then I must realize I have just bullshitted myself because in the moment of having the internal conversation and back chat is a moment where me as my mind as consciousness has felt threatened and thus will say anything to distract myself from facing myself.

Reaction Dimension:

Feeling overwhelmed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed, where through fear as a thought/image/memory of my mind and through/as my imagination, I begin to have internal conversations and back chat where I begin to feel overwhelmed, and within me as my mind, I begin to jump to conclusions just so I can get done with writing/self-forgiveness and/or my assignment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as being overwhelmed when I experience myself as having a negative experience with regards to being responsible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with feelings of being overwhelmed – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the reaction of feeling overwhelmed is a dimension of the fear that I have of facing who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to become which is irresponsible toward myself as well as life itself.

PHYSICAL Dimension

Heaviness in chest and shoulder area

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest symptoms of being a burden to myself within and as my physically body, where when I hurry to be done with myself I didn’t realize that I was separating myself from me as my physical body and changing the very condition of how I experience myself when my imagination, backchat and reactions change from a negative to a positive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit my physical body to energetic experiences where my shoulders and chest become heavy and tight and cause physical discomfort because of the manipulation of myself into energy submission of a negative energy experience – instead of realizing that none of the energetic experience is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek after a positive experience to end a negative experience of myself and within that not realize the toll my physical body is taking in that it pays for any and all participation that I concede to within and as me as my mind as consciousness.

CONSEQUENCE Dimension

Regret

Shame

Guilt

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the consequences of allowing myself to be persuaded by fear, images, imagination and internal conversations and back chat of and as my mind to the point that I won’t investigate myself further and thus, I time-loop and then, I face regret for having not faced the responsibility of myself when I first began walking the point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience shame within myself for how i have walked my Journey to/of Life in a half-assed way because I am fully aware of how difficult it is to face self in self-honesty and even though I often pretend to fool myself, I know when I’m deceiving myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience guilt for what I have put me as my physical body through and for not putting self-honesty first over the desire to have a positive energetic experience.

I forgive myself for not realizing that when I fall prey to the direction of and as my mind as consciousness that I not only put me as my physical body at risk but that I put our physical world/reality/existence at risk as well.

When and as I become aware of internal conversations/back chat that is serving me up temptations to stop writing/self-forgiveness and finishing my DIP lessons, I stop, I breathe – I see, realize and understand that the internal conversations/back chat is what I have used to distract myself from facing All of me, thus, I commit myself to breathe because when I’m aware of myself breathing I am able to trust myself.

I commit myself to stop pursuing a positive experience in order to pacify me as my mind and instead I commit myself to directing me to remain consistent and self-honest as I continue walking the Journey to Life.

I commit myself to apply common sense, thus when and as my mind tells me that there is something more important to be done than writing/self-forgiveness and/or finishing my DIP lesson, I breathe and see for myself in self-honesty what it is that I must complete so as to walk this life as a living example of being self-responsible according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to show that the mind of man is our own worst enemy and that we use it against ourselves and each other by way of manipulation techniques using money as the motivator to continue to deceive one another. I commit myself to stop and breathe.

I commit myself to stop yanking my own chain, to stop bullshitting myself, because I’m aware when I’m accepting and allowing myself to abuse myself, therefore, I commit myself to breathe and finish what I start when I sit down to write/apply self-forgiveness and/or to complete a DIP lesson.

I commit myself to stop participating in reactions of feeling overwhelmed and instead I direct myself to breathe and focus on who I am here breathing.

I commit myself to stop abdicating myself from life through avoiding taking self-responsibility for myself and for the part I play in manifesting the abusive nature of our current world/money system.

I commit myself to stop submitting me as my physical body to discomfort due to manipulating myself into believing that energetic experiences are real.

I commit myself to become aware of how and where my physical body is affected when I participate in and as thoughts and energy.

I commit myself to become aware of the physical consequences of continuing to hurry and thus jump to conclusions because I see, realize and understand that in doing so, I put myself as my physical body and our physical reality at risk of depleting it of it’s life giving resources.

I commit myself to re-establishing a relationship with myself in self-intimacy.

Day 180: Just get it done – Part 2

For context read: Day 179: Just get it done

Imagination Dimension:

When I’m blogging, writing self-forgiveness and/or finishing an assignment for DIP – I imagine seeing all the things that I still need to do for the day – such as laundry, cooking, cleaning etc – because again, it’s like I’m always looking for a means to an end of how I’m experiencing myself, which is actually rather odd when one actually stops and looks at it. I mean, I see how I have accepted and allowed myself to believe within my mind that it is only when ‘I’m done’ – specifically with my writing/self-forgiveness and/or finishing my DIP assignment – only when I’m done, will I be able to relax and be comfortable, and be able to ‘do what I want to do’ – such as watch t.v. or watch a movie for example. And as a result, I hurry up and just get it done and then end up right back where I started because I didn’t breathe and give myself the opportunity to investigate myself thoroughly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I sit down to write or to work on a DIP assignment, that I go into my mind where I separate myself from myself and my physical reality by participating in allowing myself to imagine how much longer it will take me to finish my writing/assignment, and I forgive myself for how I allow the scene to play out where within my mind I see all the things that I need to finish for the day, such as doing the laundry, cleaning the house and/or fixing supper and within that, I also play out in my mind how much time each task will take before I’m done for the day and how long before I can get comfortable and do what I want to do such as watch tv or a movie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to basically imagine myself finishing my daily tasks just so I can sit and zone out watching tv or a movie and within that never taking self-responsibility and considering how in doing so I am being manipulated and controlled by my mind as well as continuing to support the nonsense which keeps us enslaved as consciousness through television and movies just to name a few.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beLIEve the lie that I can only be happy, relaxed and comfortable when I’m finished with my daily writing/self-forgiveness/DIP assignment, and thus I must hurry up and get done – when the fact is, when I slooooow myself down and breathe, I realize that my daily writing/self-forgiveness and/or my DIP assignment is self-fulfilling in a way that nothing else can compare to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how programmed I am in believing that I have some form of control over myself, when the fact is, I have always been programmed to think and behave and constantly seek to replace a negative experience of myself for a positive one, and within that never actually taking self-responsibility in any way whatsoever for who I am and for what I accept and allow because I’m always to busy chasing after energetic polarities of positive and negative.

When and as I see myself going into my mind and imagine myself as having a positive experience over having what I perceive is a negative experience, I stop, I breathe – Instead, I direct myself to slow myself down and breathe and to realize that as i continue to walk this point through in self-forgiveness and self-corrective application in and as the physical, that I will begin to change and redesign who I am as one who is walking this life as a living example of what it is to take self-responsibility for myself and my world according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to stop who I am when I imagine scenarios within my mind where I distract myself to believe that I don’t have time, that I must hurry and ‘get it done’ so that then I can be comfortable, because I see, realize and understand that being comfortable within the idea of needing to hurry is a perception of and as my mind as consciousness, rooted in self-interest and that ultimately, all I’m ever actually doing is repeating the same cycles of myself over and over going from a negative to a positive experience and never actually reaching a point of physical comfort.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to be manipulated and directed by me as my mind as consciousness and to instead direct myself as my mind to commit myself to writing, self-forgiveness. self-corrective application and completing my DIP assignments because I see, realize and understand how the application of each one supports me to trust myself for the first time in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am always trading comfortability over self-responsibility and within that never stopping to consider how egotistical it is to exist where I am always motivated through self-interest and greed because my idea of being comfortable requires money to purchase the things that I have accepted and allowed to make me ‘feel’ comfortable: such as food, the internet, movie rentals and/or comfortable furnishings.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself activating the ‘just get it done’ character, where in my imagination I play out scenarios that lead me to my mind’s idea of comfort, I stop, I breathe – I direct myself to remain here with myself and complete what needs to be done in my immediate physical reality, to direct/will myself to stop participating and continue with writing/self-forgiveness/my assignment in realizing that I am giving to myself the opportunity to change myself from the inside out and thus assist in changing our world to one according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself where I compromise myself and my responsibilities to myself and my world because I give in to energetic experiences and allow my imagination to get the better of me – instead of breathing and practically getting things done that I see, realize and understand in self-honesty is required of me in order to assist and support myself to stop the vicious cycles of self-abuse and abuse unto life itself.

I commit myself to STOP abusing myself through self-sabotage where I accept and allow myself to give in and participate in my imagination of wanting, seeking and desiring to have a positive energetic experience.

I commit myself to stop placing want, need, desire and energy before taking self-responsibility for who I am living within me and my world.

In my next blog I will continue with investigating the Internal Conversation/ back chat Dimension of the ‘Just get it done’ character

Day 179: Just get it done

I did it again.  I get in a hurry when I’m writing and become this ‘Just get it done’ Character.  Weird.  I wanna hurry up and get done with me??   In doing so, I jump to conclusions while investigating myself and within that I miss specific points and leave myself feeling incomplete and uncommitted.  Which is how I create stupidity loops for myself. I stop, I breathe. Here, I begin again as I investigate the dimensions of the ‘Just get it done’ character.

Fear Dimension:
I fear:
Not having enough time

I’m missing out on doing something ‘more fun’

I’m not good enough to see all the points for myself

that what I write will be rejected by others

asking for assistance because I don’t want to be a burden to others

discipline and structuring of self

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I don’t have time to be thorough when I am writing and facing who I am and,  I see, realize and understand that in allowing myself to hurry that I then jump to conclusions with regards to a point that I’m walking and that in doing so I am neglecting everything about about myself and any and all commitments that I have made to/for myself and to/for and in support of life itself.

When and as I’m writing and taking time for me and I begin to experience myself as wanting to hurry up and get it done, I stop, I breathe – I see, realize and understand that this is a character of and as my mind that I long ago as a child accepted and allowed myself to be, and in doing so I’ve never actually taken the time to develop self-intimacy or self-honesty within and as myself. Thus I commit myself to develop self-intimacy with myself through giving to me the gift of seeing who I am in self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hurry and want to be done with myself, where I then jump to a conclusion and then overlook important points of self to forgive of/as the characters and personalities of and as my mind and I see how within those moments where I hurry that I am existing in fear that I am missing out on doing something that is ‘more fun’ when the fact is, the fear itself is a negative energy experience that I’m wanting to escape from.

When I’m writing and/or doing assignments and as I see myself becoming in a hurry to just get it done because me as my mind has come to a conclusion  – within the desire that there must be something ‘more fun’ to do, I stop, I breathe. I see, realize and understand that I am attempting to distract myself through avoiding my own perception of having a negative energy experience, thus I get in a hurry because I’m wanting to have a positive energy experience – one that I can use to distract myself from facing myself and taking self-responsibility for who I am as my mind as consciousness and for the part that I play in how our world/money system currently exist, therefore, I commit myself to slow down and breathe and stop accepting and allowing myself to be distracted by the desire to have a positive energy experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I’m not capable of applying myself effectively in order to disembody and forgive the characters and personalities of and as me as my mind.

I commit myself to show myself through breathing and self-forgiveness that I am capable of trusting myself in self-honesty to redesign and realign myself with life according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I fear that what I write will be rejected by others that what I’m really doing is using self-judgment as a means of self-sabotage and self-rejection.

When and as I see myself in fear of rejection from others, I stop, I breathe. I see, realize and understand that what I fear from others is what I exist as in fear of and as self. Thus, I commit myself to re-establish and re-dedicate myself to walking the Journey to Life, the process of self-forgiveness and self-honesty – to stand up for and as a world where abuse unto all living beings is stopped and forgiven, where all living beings are supported through an Equal Money system so that life will stop being survived and instead, we begin living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I fear asking for assistance because I don’t want to be seen as a burden to others – that when I do that it’s actually a way that I manipulate myself to feel sorry for myself and within that I justify what I’ve accepted and allowed which keeps me avoiding me, keeps me from giving myself the time of day so to speak,  because I’ve not seen myself as worthy of my own time to investigate who I am within the madness that exists here on earth.

I commit myself to breathe and stop accepting and allowing myself to justify and manipulate myself, to instead direct myself to walk the points I’m facing through in self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the discipline and structuring that the process of self-forgiveness gives to self, because when me as my mind as the consciousness structure that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed as becomes threatened, I experience myself as wanting to run away, thus I stop, I breathe.

I commit myself to continue to investigate and forgive who I am and what I’ve accepted and allowed and have been directed as as my mind of/as consciousness, to thus assist myself to stand up in support of an Equal Money System so that each one here on earth my be provided for, to relieve the stress of trying to survive and thus give way for individual self-realizations to ultimately bring about a world that’s best for all.

Thought Dimension

The thought I have as a character of and as my mind who just wants to get it done is one where I see myself with my chin up and my shoulders slumped – just like when I was a child.  Where I would become irritated when I didn’t get my way to do what I wanted to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought as a picture/image to emerge from within my conscious mind where I am once again looking at the point of becoming irritated as a child when I didn’t get my way for one reason or another, and within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the bottom line is/has always been that i felt like I was misunderstood and taken for granted and abused, first by my parents, but always blaming someone for the negative experiences I would have of myself – where never once within all the time I spent feeling sorry for myself within my mind did I consider that ‘the problem’ as I saw it, was/is Not ‘out there’, but was/is within and as me – in that I’ve never taken complete responsibility for me, for the thoughts and feelings and emotions that I have participated within and as and for the energetic highs and lows I sought after – as well as for the part I play in manifesting how and why our world/money system currently exists as the hell that it is.

When and as I see myself existing as a character of and as my mind where I desire to hurry and just get done  – specifically my writing and self-forgiveness – where I become aware of the thought as a picture/image of myself as a child where I’m irritated with my chin up and shoulders slumped, I stop, I breathe – instead I direct myself to give the moment to myself to see, realize and understand that there is nothing to hurry up and be done with, that I am always here with the ability to know myself intimately, thus, I commit myself to forgive myself for rushing past myself so that I could go after an energetic high that I believed would make me feel better, when the fact is it never did, thus, I see, realize and understand the importance of facing me in self-honesty.

I commit myself to when and as I see this thought manifesting in my mind when I’m facing a moment of self-discipline and self-responsibility within the context of writing, self-forgiveness and completing an assignment, I stop, I breathe – I stop all participation in and as the thought and I direct myself to continue as I speak the words as who I am as “I am capable of getting this done”, as I physically move myself to complete my writing/self-forgiveness/assignment.

I commit myself to stop following after an energetic experience of myself as a way of avoiding facing myself and becoming self-responsible for who I am as the actions of/as me and for what I have been willing to accept and allow to exist within and as our world/money system.

I commit myself to getting to know who I am in self-honesty and self-intimately.

In my next blog I will continue with investigating the Imagination Dimension of the ‘Just get it done’ character