Tag Archive | starvation

Day 277: Death of a Pet – Part 2: Assistance and Support

For Context Read: Day 276: Death of a Pet

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when Remmy died based upon how I’ve reacted in the past when I’ve lost an animal, and for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself within a positive energy experience, which accumulates and contributes to the physical moment of shock, trauma and stress upon my physical body, and then when the nature of life as death comes, I’m not prepared,  because I didn’t understand the nature of our relationship in the first place, thus unable to in that moment direct myself effectively, free from reaction, shock, trauma and ultimately stress upon and within my physical body.

remmy my protector

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself within and during short and/ or long term relationships – where if something happens to someone that I have a relationship with – whether they go missing, or leave,  or die – I experience not only ’emotional’ shock, trauma and stress, but also shock, trauma and stress to my ‘physical body’ – where my heart races and my breathing is fast, and then my entire physical body will become shaky and weak, so much so that within me I lose the ability to properly direct myself free from the energy of the emotion / fear, thus I attempt to manipulate myself and others by trying to hide my inner turmoil, and in doing so, I not only suppress myself but I fail to remain in awareness of myself, thus I miss seeing how it is actually my own thoughts, feelings and emotions that I’m reacting to thus why I’m unable to find stability to direct myself within the reality of who I am within whatever point I’m facing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my relationship to Remmy according to a positive feeling energy, in how I felt comfort and safety whenever I was around him, and even in the way he would look at me, and I forgive myself for how the consequence of such definition will set the stage for fear of loss and sadness to accumulate and develop within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find comfort within a positive energetic experience based upon ideas that I’ve made up within my mind, – ideas that slowly over the years have accumulated to be more than what my actual physical world/reality relationship with Remmy was, therefore, I forgive myself for not seeing the reality and polarity that finding comfort in an illusion / idea within my mind and for the consequences that doing so creates within and as my physical body.

When and as I see myself as my mind having been triggered by an image of Remmy laying dead in the road – where then the positive energetic memories I have of Remmy are disconnected and the energy of sadness comes up, I Stop, I Breathe. I see, realize and understand that these are connections that are mostly energetically based on feelings and emotions because when the disconnect happens, sadness comes up in polarity as a negative energetic experience begins to develop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the death and dying of others to become my story for the taking, to use for self interest purposes where within my mind I seek to escape the fear of facing myself within the fear of loss to fuel my mind as the energy in order  to gain attention to / for myself as a weird way of trying to validate myself to myself for myself.

When and as I see myself going into this particular mind-set in polarity, I Stop, I Breathe, instead, I Commit myself to direct myself to disengage all participation in thoughts, emotions and/or feelings in relation to what is being triggered and to instead focus on asking myself the question: who am I in relation to this point and why am I suppressing myself within a false sense of hope because for me, when hope exists I can use it as a tool to see when I’m hiding in my own fear of death and / or loss of self.

I Commit myself to investigate the nature of who I am within my current relationships, to take any positive energy experience that I may have with another and to write down the words as well as how I will specifically support myself in changing those positive words into actual practical physical living expressions as myself.

I Commit myself to the relationship to the remembrance of Remmy, Fozzy and Charlie and all the pets that I’ve lost to be one of gratefulness in terms of what I learned from each of them.

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Day 276: Death of a Pet

It was like any other morning, where I make my way past the back door, stopping to glance out the window with the hope of saying good morning to our outside dogs, But this morning, what I saw was our dog Remmy, laying dead in the middle of the road. At first sight I knew that the animal I was looking at was dead, because of the amount of damage done to it’s physical body. Immediately I became aware of how my mind searched for energy, a way to make the image I was seeing Not be Remmy.

Staring out the window at the body I became oddly aware of how within me, it was like I was spinning out of control and I knew I had to stop but yet, I didn’t want to. It was interesting to within such a moment, to implement the ‘looking system’, whereby becoming aware of what I was accepting and allowing as thought participation and then the emotions and feelings.

So in looking closer and investigating the point, I could see how I was becoming emotional and thus wanted to become the energy / surge of heat /the buzz of terror at the sight of my dog laying there in such a state…I took a deep breath and made the decision to not participate within and as the energy and directed myself to move, to put on my boots and walk to the road, to know for sure what I already knew… It Was Remmy, and he was dead.

He had probably been killed within the hour and it looked like he’d been sleeping in the road – which is something he often did regardless of the countless number of times my partner and I tried to keep him out of the road, and in our fenced back yard. It didn’t matter, Remmy was like an expert escape artist, and so finally we stopped trying to keep him fenced in. There were many, many times where he’d slept near or in the road, and always he would hear any cars or trucks coming and would move out of the way, but, not this time.

By the looks of his body, it was probably someone driving one of the several semi-trucks that have begun to daily speed carelessly up and down the old country road we live the other side of. So in the 7 years that we’ve lived here, the once quiet road has changed and is now particularly busy. This because the road has become a frequented passage way for a nearby fracking company who use it to haul supplies to and from.

I’ve watched how the speeding semi’s have caused some nervousness with all our animals and because of how fast they drive, I’ve feared for their safety. More than once I’ve called our county sheriff’s office and asked them to please come and moderate the speed of these guys driving for these major corporations, but I was told that the county doesn’t have the money thus no manpower to follow this problem through to a solution.

So in a way, Remmy, like most of us, fell victim to a system that unfortunately values profit over life. And as I look outside my backdoor window, I realize that I have to forgive myself for the blame, the rage, and the helplessness I want to be and become because I realize the cold hard truth, that life on earth is a very dangerous place. Less dangerous though, if one have enough money to buy their way around the danger, if only for a moment.

Looking at who I am in relation to Remmy’s death, the first thing that comes up is the memory of the day he was born which was not long after we moved to the country, which will be 7 years next month. So Remmy has been here supporting us through much of the beginning, the beginning of when my partner and I got serious about walking our process, our Journey to Life.

The fact is, I would need more than 2 hands to count the number of animals that we’ve had in the past 7 years that have died and are buried here on our land, but my relationship with Remmy has been the longest. So the length of time one puts into the relationship with all the memories, etc, that’s what determines the degree that one will grieve for and miss that someone or something, when they or it’s no longer here and I mean it’s a loss because it’s our ‘relationships’ that fuel our mind…

Another point to mention is how I noticed that when I saw Remmy’s body laying there in the road, lifeless and mangled,,, I felt offended for him. Like he deserved a better ending for the life that he lived. And, the thing is, as ‘sweet’ as that ‘feeling/thought‘ might appear, it’s deceptive because, it is in that thought participation that what happens is, I walk straight into playing the starring role as the victim. The human under consciousness direction, it’s like self interest gives way in that we’ll use the knowledge/the story of the death of another in absurd ways to bring attention to ourself.

This is how our mind as consciousness exists and directs us. Mostly because, I mean, we’re not doing so good at directing ourself, so then who we are as consciousness steps in… So we’ve got to be able to understand who we are as our mind so we can assist and support ourselves to be the directive principle within our world – instead of consciousness automating us, which is clearly what’s happening. What other explanation is there for why we accept and allow within our world things like poverty, war, money, power and greed?

the boys

It’s important for me to mention that Remmy is not the only dog that we’ve lost recently. Our big white Pyrenees: Fozzy, as well as: Charlie – a couple of months ago, they left on an adventure and never made it home – which is odd because not knowing for sure how or if they’re dead, kind of keeps death at bay, so to speak. Whereas Remmy’s death seemed to push the point for closure and forgiveness, so, here I am, facing who I am in relation to it.

In future blogs, I will continue with Self-Forgiveness

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Suggest the Following:

Losing someone is like Losing a part of Myself – DAY 491 – The Moment of Shock

Losing someone is like Losing a part of Myself (Part 2) – DAY 492 – The Moment of Shock

The Death of a Loved One and the Death of Me – DAY 493 – The Moment of Shock

Stop Your Thoughts, Change Yourself – Reptilians – Part 284

What Your Thoughts Depend on: Environment – Reptilians – Part 285

Animal Interviews & Support

Day 268: Demonizing the Poor

For Context: America’s Poor Are Demonized To Justify Huge Cuts in Gov’t Prgrams

Have you ever noticed how rarely the topic of ‘Poverty’ is discussed publicly, especially within the political arena and mainstream media? I guess it makes sense that the rich and famous wouldn’t want to talk about poverty or starvation – because bringing an awareness to the reality that poverty does actually exist and,  is how life is experienced on earth – could prove rather disastrous for those already in power.

What I’ve noticed is how the topic of poverty and income inequality is ever so-lightly being thrown around amongst the Democratic and Republican Parties, but it seems to be only a means in which to keep the numbness to the topics intact…

It’s strange because we’re demonizing poverty,  like for instance just today, in the United States, the Department of Labor reported that more people than ever are giving up on finding work. This gives us the impression that people are lazy and don’t want to work and in this we begin to demonize those who end up living below the poverty line…
poverty
A Quote from this article puts it this way: “The odd way our unemployment statistics work, makes the number the newspapers report go down.

Because when a few hundred thousand people say: ‘All right, I give up, it is so hopeless, I will never find a job,’ that, curiously, results in the unemployment number going down because the number that gets reported in the papers is a measure of a percentage of how many of the people looking for work are unable to find it.”

We talk about Income inequality without looking for a permanent Solution for the alarming and ever so-growing number of people who are living below the poverty line.   It’s time that each one of us – no matter who we are or where we live – that we start asking ourselves ‘how much longer we’re willing to continue to support the rich’? And to instead, begin to Support Each Other.

I’ve been guilty of demonizing the poor, but as I’ve looked closer at the point,  I’ve realized my demonizing the poor existed in pictures in my mind of what/how I ‘thought’ Poverty looked like,  but honestly, I had no real clue what being poor looked like in real life.  I certainly didn’t comprehend how close a middle-class family is to living below the poverty line.   Hell, I watched my mom and dad punch the time clock on their run at surviving and the only thing that’s changed is that there are fewer jobs now than there was then.

The one thing that we can be sure of is that we’re going to have to keep racing the clock to make money or we’ll die, because life is NOT free.  That means that we’re going to have to work every day to get that paycheck and then when we get it,  we’re terrified because we realize we’re almost broke and we just got paid.

So times are hard and of course we want to work because we want/need to eat and so the days of assuming folks are lazy because they don’t have a job simply isn’t true and, if we’re lucky enough to have a job, then we should consider ourselves as one of the elite.  One of the elite because in order for us to have, there have to be those who have not. That’s a hard one to swallow but deep within me, I finally get that there is no excuse for accepting and allowing income inequality and poverty and starvation and war to exist in any way whatsoever.  Because at the end of the day what’s happening is, we’re fighting against each other – while the rich and the famous reap the rewards from our insanity/acceptance/actions.

So, Let’s Stop killing ourselves trying to survive within our Current Broken Money System and let’s begin to Support each other as a Group. Let’s see how strong we are together and change the system, because our strength is in how many of us there are.

Let’s come together and Investigate the Solution to Income Inequality and Poverty, Let’s investigate and Guarantee a Living Income to Everyone.

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Day 418: Basic Income Can Save Capitalism

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Fear of Commitment (Part Three): DAY 441

“I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to within this see, realise and understand to what extent my Mind/me within and as it was “closed, isolated and separated” from everything/everyone else within this existence – to the extent where I would not have within and as my existent thinking-processes/reasoning skills been able to question and so investigate ‘who I am within me/my life and my relationship to all that is here’. Therefore exposing the extent to which our thinking/reasoning and even seeing/consideration and regard for ourselves and others is limited/locked-in and caged into and as the confines of our own Consciousness – not leaving any room/space for anything/anyone other than our own Self Interest of wants, needs and desires.

I commit myself to assist and support self to change myself from Consciousness-confinement in the Mind, to and as expanding my Self-Awareness into and as Physical equality and oneness – within this process, to see/realise/understand how ‘oneness’ already exist in that we’re all physically here in this physical existence, however Equality within that Oneness does not yet exist, because we’re all individually separate in our own Minds/Consciousness – competing for our wants, self-interest and greed instead of sharing, consideration/regard and giving to others as we would to ourselves. Therefore, I commit myself to assist and support myself to practically in moments where I see I am thinking only of MY WANT and not what is best for everyone – to stop and change, to become more aware of the consequence MY WANTS create not only for me, but for others as well.” ~ Sunette Spies

 

 

Day 261: Who are we: The hunted? The hunter? Or both?

I’ve never shot an animal, at least not in this life and not that I know of.  For that matter I’ve only ever shot a gun once, and I quickly realized I wasn’t fond of it anyway. So basically, I have no experience when it comes to guns nor what it really takes to shoot to kill an animal.

Artist: Andrew Gable
paranoia
Winter is here and hunting season is upon us, and though I understand that many hunt in order to feed their families, it’s still difficult for me to comprehend what it would be like to be the animal who is sacrificed for food. Many who hunt say there is a ‘humane’ way to hunt so that when they shoot they aim to kill so as to not create suffering for the animal, and I do get that, at this point, our physical body requires some form of protein. I’m not a vegetarian so it’s not that I’m against eating meat.

Still, it would have to be an extreme emergency situation before I would actually shoot at and/or shoot to kill an animal. I’m not trying to imply that I am in some way a better person than those who are able to easily pick up that gun and shoot, it’s just that the ‘idea’ of taking another’s life kind of scares the hell out of me because, I mean, that’s quite a point of responsibility to take on. Taking responsibility for being the reason for another living being whose taking their last breath here on earth seems relevant, if only we were inclined to consider the consequences of our actions.

I can’t help but want to ask those who shoot and/or kill animals for sport, or spite, to put themselves in the footsteps of the animals they’re hunting, to consider what it would be like to be the hunted. It’s really odd, how easily it is for us to accept and allow the killing of others – whether it be the animal or the human and whether the killing be by way of war or starvation or simply because it’s ‘hunting season’. It’s often easy to accept the death of a stray animal, or even the death of someone we don’t personally know, especially considering how we as the human are terrified of dying.

Could it be that it’s our obsessive fear of our own death that causes us to so casually accept and allow and even believe that we have the right to decide and/or take life from another living being?

So, as I look closer at this point, I see my own fear of death, and today, I’m very aware of the movement/reaction deep in my solar plexus. This particular emotional energy was stirring within me with regards to the disappearance of our dog Remmy.
The remster
We’ve had Remmy since the moment he was born, just over 5 years ago, and when he was less than a year old, he and two of our other dogs came down with the Parvovirus. The Parvovirus is a particularly deadly disease among young puppies and about 80% fatal. It causes gastrointestinal tract damage and dehydration and can cause cardiac syndrome in very young pups.

My partner spent an entire week that particular year forcing a homemade hydrating fluid 3 times a day into the throats of Remmy, his brother Kelley and their buddy Veno. Remmy was the only one of the three that survived. Remmy was right by my partners side as he buried both of them here on our land. I specifically remember the evening he buried Veno.  Pouring rain, lightening and thunder filled the sky and I watched in tears as my partner stood in the rain and dug a hole big enough to bury a 125 pound dog.

Remmy was the one who guarded our little miniature pinscher the day she was outside alone and bled to death from a hawk who attacked her and severed an artery in her neck. Remmy was there when our dog Buddha got hit by a car speeding down our isolated country road, and he was the one who nestled close to our dog Baby – an adopted stray we came to adore – whose pelvis was crushed when she was backed over by our own car, because we didn’t know that she had fallen asleep under it, and didn’t wake up to move when we were backing out of the driveway…

Remmy survived one cold winter when he was 2 years old and attacked by 2 other dogs and Remmy was the one who came home alone without his mother after the two of them had taken off on one of their many adventures together.

Remmy is the daddy to 3 of the 4 other male dogs we now have, and it’s not unusual for all of them to go off running and be gone for a couple of days, however, this time the boys came home alone, Remmy wasn’t with them. So, here it was just days before the holiday we call Thanksgiving and all I could think of is it’s been 12 days and no sign of Remmy. Remmy and the boys are our outside dogs and that’s the way they like it, and God did I miss seeing his face with those beautiful brown eyes of his.

So, Thanksgiving day this year, in our part of the world, felt like the first day of spring and my partner and I were outside enjoying some fresh air when Remmy appears at the gate to the back yard. My partner was first to see Remmy and he came and said to me; Remmy is home but by the looks of him, he should be dead. When I saw Remmy later and looked in his eyes he looked like he was still in shock and it was difficult to comprehend how the little guy had managed to make it home.

My partner said his wound is very horrific and began to get together the necessary things to try and assist him. He said he could literally put his fist into the wound and touch his rib cage and so we knew that Remmy might not make it. It was a holiday and very few Veteranian clinics are open, so my partner was able to stabilize Remmy’s wound and first thing the next morning we called and took Remmy to the Doctor knowing full well that the jagged wound might not be able to be mended…

The Doc said he was pretty sure he could stitch up the wound and so he did and we were able to bring Remmy home later that evening and maybe, just maybe, Remmy would be alright. We made Remmy a bed inside while he heals and slowly the traumatized look in his eyes is going away.
remmyboy
Yes, Remmy is a survivor, but what in the world happened to him? At first glance it looked like his injury was caused from another animal but the Doc said that wasn’t so. He said maybe he had been hit by a car or stuck in a fence or hit by some kind of farm equipment, but the jagged tears in his flesh/skin was still a mystery.

Days passed before my partner noticed a small hole in Remmy just inches from the massive tear and then we knew… Remmy had been shot. The bullet went in and then exploded, tearing and shattering the surrounding tissue. Realizing what Remmy has been through is when I began to experience an energy of anger within me and I remembered something my neighbor said to us some 2 years ago. He said, keep your dog off my property or I’m gonna roll ’em – meaning, he’s going to shoot him. Trying to keep Remmy in the yard is difficult to say the least, because Remmy is an expert escape artist and, who can blame him, he loves to be able to run and play.

So for now, we are grateful that Remmy is healing very well. He still has another week before his 30 or so stitches can be removed and I see several points of fear within me to forgive and walk through as Remmy continues to teach us to let fear go and enjoy life.

And this brings me back to the question: Who are we: The hunted? The hunter? Or both? I can see how I’ve been both. Maybe not literally but I’ve hunted for ways in my mind to ‘get even’ with someone for something I perceived as an unfair act done against me. I’ve stood by quietly and watched as the Government of my Country, the United States, chooses war over Life – for profit – and so that makes me the hunter as well.

I have to ask myself…What if a solution existed that will stop the crimes of and against humanity and the animal kingdom? What if a whole new way of being is possible? What if Remmy and all who have suffered in the game of survival could be assured that life will be simpler, safer and supporting? If only…

Consider the solution that’ll be the new beginning for us All…

Investigate and Support Living Income Guaranteed

Day 190: This Fixes Everything

create change with Equal Money

Art By: JL Kenney

“They’ll wonder why poverty continued so long in human society – how a few people could live in luxury while billions dwelt in misery, deprivation and despair.” ~ Muhammad Yunus

Everyday the cost of living increases, and with that increase, comes an increase in stress.

There is only one reason why there’s a price for living… Greed.

How insane is it that we continue to accept and allow our world/money system to be run by profit and greed…

People are so consumed in their minds, always busy “robbing from Peter to pay Paul”, that it’s no surprise that the daily news reads of a world full of people struggling.  The increase in suicide, crime and/or mass murder/suicide amongst teens and young adults is like something out of a horror movie.

Parents today are emotionally unavailable and clueless when it comes to raising children. And the majority of young parents today, don’t have a clue how to make a home-cooked meal for their children let alone display any practical common sense skills in order to be an example of living as a responsible human being committed to what’s best for All Life.

I really don’t know what’s going to become of the world we’re leaving for the children of our world, but what’s clear is, we are ALL in serious trouble. We’re overworked, stressed out and have basically given up that our world will ever change. We certainly realize that changing ourself in a way that will have a substantial effect on All life here on Earth,  is virtually impossible.

What will we do? What is a Real Solution? A Solution that doesn’t require war… Where can we get help? Is there a place where people will listen to the needs and consider the question of  why is it that there is a minority who are rich while the majority suffer daily living in poverty, fighting wars, fighting debt and fighting each other while fighting to survive?

When will we realize that Equal Money Fixes Everything?

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that democracy as it exists now in the world is not empowering the individual, it is only a permission process to legally give all power to a few people that do not hold the interest of the individual at heart – and if viewed as a picture-representation, it is like a human body where the cells are the individuals that vote and give all power to the mind to do whatever it wants, thus in fact creating a clear dictatorship where only the dictatorship is valued and the celliziens/citizen is ignored, but for their labor and money they provide.” Bernard Poolman

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For Context Read:
Nearly half of families are worried about debts as toxic combination of runaway inflation and low wage growth means they struggle to make ends meet

Families hit after supermarkets hike ‘budget’ food prices by as much as 110% in just a year

Sandy Hook community buries more of its tiny victims

State ‘fails’ thousands of vulnerable children

300,000 will be in fuel poverty by Christmas

Investigate Equal Money

Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life

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Day 184: Offended? Let’s Rock the Boat

Here I am investigating how I have become aware of internal conversation/back chat where I hear myself say to myself: ‘that offends me’.

I will use an example of what happened to me recently when I mentioned to a lady sitting next to me in the Doctor’s office that Equal Money is the only real solution to the utter chaos that exists here on earth. She was quick to disagree and her reason for doing so was as she put it: “there will never be enough people to agree upon such a thing”. Upon hearing her comment, I heard myself say to myself: ‘that offends me’, and then I became irritated and then angry when I wasn’t able to communicate further with her because her name was called for the Dr. who was ready to see her.

It’s not the first time that I’ve felt ‘offended’ when money is the topic of a conversation that I’m having with others. A couple of other things that I am often offended by is:

– – how we bow down to movie stars and/or anyone who has a lot of money.

I also get angry about how unconcerned we are that the rich have more than enough while millions have absolutely nothing.

offended

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel offended and/or irritated and angry by the words and/or actions of another and for not realizing that only me as my mind as consciousness can experience being offended.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become offended at the idea of not having enough money to live on and within that I forgive myself that I have existed in fear that there won’t be enough money for myself and my family to survive thus,  I forgive myself for existing in self-interest and greed where I only ‘think’ to consider the fate of me and my family – instead of the fate of everything and everyone!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I become offended and angry towards those who are rich and famous it’s because I’m jealous and envious of the power that having money gives them and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harbor thoughts/images, like an instaflash of myself living my life like the rich and famous and for feeling guilty for supporting my own mind imagination/illusion by living vicariously through the lives of the rich and famous, thus why I continue to support that which supports my own secret mind illusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the internal conversations and backchat where I hear myself say ‘that offends me’ because I secretly fear who I am as the offender of life, as one who has sit quietly by and supported the way our current world/money system exists because I secretly want to have and be more than, meaning: I secretly want someone to stroke me as who I am as ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am the offender that I perceive myself offended by because I imagine and participate within my secret mind to having the same experience that I see the rich and famous having and yet I become irritated and angry toward them when the fact remains that I accept, allow and participate in and as an illusionary version of the very thing I’m offended by, thus I Am RESPONSIBLE  for the money madness of profit and greed that is crippling our world/reality/existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a living expression of the words ‘offended’ and ‘offender’ according to negative energetic experiences of myself in how I have defined myself within the beLIEf that I’m able to be offended – when in actuality, when I ‘feel’ offended, it’s because I’ve just accepted myself as the victim – which is what I become because I fear taking responsibility for how our world/money system exists, because I fear if I acknowledge the insanity of our current world/money system then I will have to acknowledge the role that I play as the offender as well as many more of a cast of characters that I fear giving up as that which supports the abuse within and as our current world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a negative experience of myself within the belief that someone has offended me and within that I forgive myself for how I experience myself as having lost – as if life is a game of winning and losing and so within the cycle of polarity of win and lose, I either experience myself as winning or losing – where within a disagreement with another I define my experience as being offended and become angry, irritated and resentful and thus experience myself as having a negative experience as if I’ve just lost at a game thus, I forgive myself for living life like a game, always looking to achieve some sort of energetic experience for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that as the character of and as my mind as the offender that I secretly believe that I am entitled to have and been seen as more than others because I’ve not been willing to stop the polarity game of winning and losing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how irritation and anger has a direct effect within and as my physical body which results in pimples and boils to erupt as an indication of suppressing who I am as it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my own acts of transgression, whereas I have followed the laws set by man/self and in doing so I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the Principle of Equality/LIFE, that whosoever is born unto this earth/world/reality/existence shall be given that which earth has provided for as All as ONE as Equal.

When and as I hear the words in my head: ‘that offends me’, I stop, I breathe – I see, realize and understand that the words are a red flag for me to stop, breathe, and investigate who I am as living in polarity through games of winning and losing – which is basically me wanting to have my ego stroked – thus I commit myself to direct myself to stop all reactions as internal conversations and back chat and to walk the point through in self-corrective application.

I commit myself to investigate who and what is really going on within me when I beLIEve that someone has offended me.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to live vicariously through the lives of the rich and famous and to instead take self-responsibility for what is here.

I commit myself to stopping the application of polarity of/as winning and losing and to begin living life one and equal with what is here.

I commit myself to redefine who I am as the words offended and offender, wherein I may become a living expression of/as the words within the principle of oneness and equality.

I commit myself to let go of my current life programming and to commit myself to identifying and studying the nature of who I am as my thoughts, feelings and emotions, to thus see, realize and understand who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I commit myself to direct the nature of who I am to become that which is best for all.

Day 167: The Insanity of Humanity

“This is the most catastrophic event that we have faced and been able to plan for in any of our lifetimes” ~  Connecticut Gov. Dan Malloy said of Hurricane Sandy that could affect as many as 60 million people.

How insane does one have to be to actually believe the above quote by the Governor?

What about the following fact that was documented almost a year ago to the day?

Fact: The Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) of the United Nations, on October 31, 2011 proved that there are over 1 billion people in the world today who are at risk of starving to death because they do not get enough food to eat. That’s one in 7 people on Earth who don’t know where their next meal is coming from.

Folks, that is a REAL CATASTROPHIC event.

And, it’s happening daily because we have yet to support the Solution that will bring it to an end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe a catastrophe is that which will take away my electricity, entertainment and/or my warm bed and cozy lifestyle all the while never considering the fact that 1 billion people throughout our world spend every single day wondering if they’ll be able to eat and have clean water to drink.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I fear becoming tired about life, about surviving with the fear and the pain that I have held within me as the part of me that already gave up and gave in to our current world system of money that I call life but which is actually day to day living in excess as ego, manipulation, self-interest and greed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated by my mind and by money, where when I have extra money to spend I feel like life is worth living and I don’t give a damn about the suffering of others, but when I’m short on money, I feel gloomy, uncared for and lost within my mind in and as anger, fear, self-interest and resentment feeling like I’m being done wrong, when the fact is, I am responsible for how I continue to support my own enslavement to a money system that is in itself, a CATASTROPHE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid facing the hardest part of me where I experience myself holding in and onto pain both mentally and physically – which I’m beginning to understand is connected to our system of money – thus I commit myself to stop participating within and as feelings and memories which I’ve held onto as desires to have that which I craved in order to have and feel more special than anyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put my own survival above everything and everyone else within this world and thus never stopped and considered those who have nothing, who go days without food and water and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system that doesn’t support the physical body of every living being first and foremost including our physical world/reality/ existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how throughout my life I have literally maintained a level of insanity as a possession of my mind because I actually believed that I must work to have more than my neighbor and thus believed material possessions were more important than seeing to it that every living being live a life of dignity equal and one according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the physical consequences of supporting a world/money system that only supports youth, vigor and appearance and throws away that which is penniless, broke, old and apparently no longer of use the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I’ve allowed my mind to direct me instead of me directing as my mind and thus have lived the life of a selfish fool so much so that when I was younger I believed that I would surely not be susceptible to growing old, that somehow I would be young forever and within that denial of self I was already dying because I failed to nurture, care for and support the most important part of myself as my physical body, our physical reality and each other.