Tag Archive | spoiled rotten

Day 290: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – stopping emotional reactions to myself – Day 43

For Context Please Read:

Day 288: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Giving up, Giving in, or Both? – Day 41

Day 289: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – that sinking feeling that comes with the giving up experience – Day 42

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into emotional reactions within the ‘giving up experience‘, where I’ll become easily irritated and impatient which causes resistance within me which I often allow to influence my relationships in how I respond and interact or react to / with others, as well as with myself from the starting point of the irritation and / or impatience.

dip lite picI forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that ‘giving up’ is a process that manifests within and as my mind as consciousness and for accepting and allowing myself to beLIEve that it is me who is making the decision to give up, when in fact the decision to give up began the moment I first resisted and / or reacted to a part of myself within my mind and for that moment when I first turned against myself in my mind which is the exact moment when I gave up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to emotional feeling reactions / energies, which give way for consciousness to make the decision for me to make the giving up official.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to so easily and readily give up on myself and for how I look to find something wrong in things and / or for looking for something somewhere to judge and attack myself or others for.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself being pulled into and as irritation and / or impatience and / or resistance within the emotions of the giving up experience, I Stop, I Breathe and move myself to do whatever I can to assist myself – such as writing out what’s going on within me in that moment and / or by taking a short walk or playing fetch with my dog – rather than giving in and accepting and allowing myself to be pulled into and as my mind as ‘the giving up on myself experience‘.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself reacting within my head towards myself, I stop and breathe, I direct myself to in that moment do self investigation to understand my relationship with the point of giving up so to assist myself to walk through the point with stability – instead of reacting and judging myself and building up more emotional and feeling reactions which lead to consciousness making the decision for me to make the giving up process official.

I commit myself to stop giving myself over to my mind within and as the giving up process / experience – to instead investigate the thoughts / voices in my head that I’ve been listening to and the emotions / energy that I’ve been participating in that have turned me against a part of myself in my mind and within that for using entertainment / television as a tool for my mind to fuel itself – to instead use the mind consciousness system to work for me instead of against me in remaining aware of how in that moment of giving up, look at how / why I’m being so hard on myself with regards to this exact point, and how in doing so it further builds a hardness within me, a wall, wherein I’m not able to recognize my own potential, therefore, I commit myself to write out, investigate and identify the mental and physical effects of the giving up process and to practice embracing myself as I continue to walk this process while assisting my physical body to correct imbalances and heal itself.

I commit myself to recognize and appreciate myself for remaining consistent within the process of assisting and supporting myself, my physical body to heal itself of cancer.

Advertisements

Day 289: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – that sinking feeling that comes with the giving up experience – Day 42

For Context Read:
Day 288: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Giving up, Giving in, or Both? – Day 41

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated and controlled by a sinking feeling within the pit of my stomach, where who I am as my mind, as consciousness, seems to pull me into an abyss of sorts, a dark hole within myself wherein I have no motivation and where nausea and fear makes me want to give up before I’ve even given myself the opportunity to get started, therefore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be sucked into my mind which then pulls me away from my physical body / reality and living.

sinking feelingI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed with the energy experiences I have in relation to myself and the challenges I’m facing with regards to having breast cancer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate how the mind uses entertainment to control and manipulate and keep one locked into and as the very fear of facing and giving up on one’s self with regards to whatever it is one is resisting to look at / face / change about oneself.

I commit myself to Stop using entertainment / television as a way of allowing myself to be drawn into and as my mind – which then initiates a sinking feeling and then the giving up process – instead, I commit myself to make the decision to immediately pull myself back into the here, to remain stable within and as my physical body.

I commit myself to get out of the energy and give myself the opportunity to be here within and as my body, to see, realize and understand that I am able to stand up and direct my world and my reality.

I commit myself to whenever I’m facing a difficult moment, where I see that I’m experiencing physical reactions – that come with the type of treatments I’m using – I stop, I breathe, I direct myself to remain aware of what’s going on within me at that moment, to Not fear the sinking feeling, and to instead look at what’s going on within me and speak the words ‘I am here’, to assist myself to ground myself back to an awareness that is aligned within and as my physical body and physical reality.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself facing a challenge where I become nauseous and experience a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I stop, I breathe, I see, realize and understand that in that moment I’m being shifted into and as my mind, so when such a moment of energy occur, I commit myself to shift myself back into and as my physical body and reality and to take the moment to look again at the solutions that I’m using to solve my particular problem / challenge that I’m facing.

 

Day 288: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Giving up, Giving in, or Both? – Day 41

giving up
Today for me, is ‘Day 5 ON’, meaning it’s day 5 of intense pancreatic enzyme therapy as part of the ongoing alternative treatment plan I’ve been walking as a way to assist my body to heal itself – taking up to 72 pancreatic enzymes a day is part of my plan that recognizes how Cancer is a Metabolic disease.

“At least 86% of all cancer conditions could be adequately treated and/or prevented by diet and pancreatic enzymes.

Cancer is a symptom of inadequate and deficient protein metabolism. The real problem is protein metabolism, not cancer. Cancer is only a symptom telling those who would listen that their protein metabolism is in very serious trouble. Surgery, radiation and chemotherapy only treat the symptoms of cancer.

One hundred years ago Dr. John Beard at the University of Edinburgh discovered that the body’s primary mechanism for destroying cancer is contained in pancreatin, a secretion from the pancreas that includes enzymes for digesting protein (among other things). Enzymes digest or liquefy foods for absorption by the body. Dr. Beard presented pictures in his books and papers to show recoveries using pancreatin. ” One Answer to Cancer

So for those of you who have followed my blog, you already know that in addition to following a strict metabolic diet, I add the pancreatic enzymes which ingest cancer cells, this then should adequately treat and/or can possibly eliminate / prevent cancer.  Also, as part of my daily treatment plan, throughout my day, I take high doses of vitamin C and I take specific mushroom capsules,  as well as Vitamin B17 and I also take multivitamins and other supplements that aid in supporting a healthy immune system.

The metabolic balancing that must occur within the body in order for it to heal itself requires that one eat the proper foods, which during my ‘on days’ can be quite challenging because just as with chemotherapy, the body becomes mild to severely toxic – which can cause a lack of appetite, as well as nausea and /or diarrhea, which are just a few of the many reactions that one may experience physically.

It’s kind of like having the flu and it’s vital that every single day, that I assist my body to detox effectively, by way of the coffee enema for example. It’s also important that my kidneys get flushed well daily so I drink liberal quantities of fluids, such as water and a variety of fresh juices. Cleansing my skin is also important and most people, including myself have overlooked it’s importance.

“Most people overlook the skin as an organ of detoxification. But it is sometimes called “the third kidney,” since many of its functions in fluid and electrolyte balance are similar to those of the kidneys. When great amounts of poisons flood the body, all systems are overloaded and this function of the skin is sorely needed. As the skin is utilized, all sorts of eruptions, odors, colors, and blemishes may appear. These conditions will disappear as the body becomes purified.

One can quickly assess the relative efficiency of elimination through the skin by looking at his iris (the colored portion of the eye). The skin is represented by the outermost part of the iris. If it is very dark and dense, the condition is called a “scurf rim” in iridology, and it means that the skin is relatively blocked as an organ of elimination. To open it up, skin brushing before a shower and vigorous use of a loofah sponge in the shower are recommended…

At the end of the shower, one should turn the water to cool, then to warm. As one becomes accustomed to the temperature change, he or she may go from hot to cold and back several times. This exercises the tiny muscles in the skin, which control dilation and contraction of the pores. As they become stronger, they can respond better to the physiological demands of the body.

After the shower, one can sit in a tub of water with a cup of apple cider vinegar added, to restore and strengthen the acid mantle of the skin. Afterward, the body should be dried and rubbed briskly with a towel until a warm glow is felt.

Epsom salt baths may also be used to help draw toxins out of the skin. These baths are especially beneficial if one is going through a “healing crisis” and is especially toxic and feeling bad.” Dr. William Donald Kelley, D.D.S., M.S.

 

Alright so what happens is that during my days ‘on’, when I’m feeling my worst physically, that’s when I tend to let myself get lost within and as this particular pattern that I’ve come to realize is one that I’ve participated in for most of my life in that, when I would get the flu or become sick, I would plop myself in front of the t.v., and then lose myself within whatever it was/is that I’ve chosen to entertain myself with in order to take my mind off of being sick.

I’m not implying that one should never watch television or movies, but like with everything, moderation is key. The problem is, in my past,  I’ve been the type of person that goes overboard with things, which can cause addictive behaviors and within that an imbalance within and as my physical body may occur.  That’s not acceptable.

Thus here, and in blogs to come, I will investigate this point further to establish a point of stability within myself, so as to be able to direct myself and walk my process more effectively and so Stop accepting and allowing myself to become automated memories / patterns.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in a way give up on myself in that when I feel physically ill, I don’t direct myself to walk my process as effectively as I know I’m capable of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to the ‘giving up experience‘, the energy and the mind manipulation of and as it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I’m physically sick, to adhere to the desire to entertain myself emotionally by watching movies / television series and / or by watching comedies as a way to forget about how bad I feel physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get stuck in patterns of mind manipulation, where I participate in thoughts and emotions of feeling sorry for myself and then the feeling sorry for myself gives way for repeat patterns, where it’s like I’m just killing time so to speak, until I start feeling physically better again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk myself into ‘giving up and/or giving in’, where within my mind my thoughts are ‘I won’t be able to see this thing through’, and within that for allowing myself to believe that it’s just a matter of time before I fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be taken in by the energy within my definition and acceptance of ‘feeling bad’ and for the thoughts that come with it of ‘I can’t do this anymore’ and for the consequences that ‘giving in’ to and ‘giving up’ manifests.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move myself into my mind‘s justifications and excuses / reasons / energies and / or backchat / thoughts to such a degree that I will feel unfulfilled or incomplete because in and as self sabotage, I’m not putting my all into whatever it is that I’m physically practically walking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I’m giving up on myself when in fact, I’ve been giving in to and accepting and allowing patterns and behaviors to have control and direction over me.

I commit myself to Stop participating in the ‘giving up experience‘, the energy, the mind manipulation of and as it.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself having physical reactions to treatment, to Stop and breathe, to not accept or allow myself to run in and as automated patterns / behaviors of over indulgence in watching t.v.

I commit myself to learn about myself and to develop and grow within who I am by moving myself to put my all into whatever it is that I’m doing through learning about myself to develop who I am as my expression and my living through self honesty and according to what’s best for all.

 

Previous blog with similar topic to this one,  read:

Day 286: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – The Nature of Worry – Day 40

Day 187: The Fabric of Family Is Made of Money

Continuing from: Day 186: Inside Outside In-between

inside outside in betweenI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversations and back chat where within my mind I would say to myself: “when I have kids I will be different from my parents and not be greedy with my money”, or, “I will not favor one of my children over the other one” and within that, I see, realize and understand how in doing so I’ve been existing within a point of ego and spite in believing myself as superior and furthermore fueling myself as my mind within and as ego as a positive energetic charge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself within and as a beLIEf system where I told myself that money was not that important, when the fact was/is, is that money has been at the root of every decision I’ve made since I was 16 years old and pregnant, and for how money determined who I said I loved and for the fear of facing the consequences of being alone and broke, without money to properly care for my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly within my mind throw a silent temper tantrum when my parents didn’t buy me what I wanted them to and for how I utilized anger as a replacement for the negative experience I was having because in anger and ego I experienced superiority as a positive energy experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue the same pattern as my parents in how I raised my children in that I used money as a motivator by giving them things that gave them a sense of superiority over their classmates who couldn’t afford certain things like an expensive pair of the most popular shoes being worn at school for example.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise me as my physical body wherein I made choices as a single mom and remained in a relationship of a sexual nature because in doing so I was given rent money and/or was able to buy food to feed my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself according to my past behaviors and for the choices I made in order to have money, and within that for how I willingly accepted that this is how life is and that I should just bow down to our current money/world system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for the anger I feel towards the rich/elite and for my lack of responsibility for not realizing that money is/has been my God.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to borrow and loan money to members of my family and then through broken promises have accepted and allowed myself to exist in resentment, greed and hate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety within my chest area when my bank account gets low of money and for the fear in the pit of my stomach in worry of what will I do if I run out of money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I have taught my children how to be enslaved to money – instead of being a living example of life according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to stop who I’ve been in and as the very fabric of family as money, and to instead direct myself through self-forgiveness to walk the physical change in redesigning who I am as life according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself within the desire to make myself and my children ‘feel’ better by trying to solve problems with money that I can’t afford to spend and/or that I don’t have, I stop, I breathe – Instead I direct myself to realize that I am actually seeking to achieve a positive energy experience to replace a negative one.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself re-acting to my children in fear for their future, I stop, I breathe – I see, realize and understand that the same as me, they must walk their process in seeing, stopping, forgiving and in self-honesty re-designing who they are to one that supports a world/money system that will be supportive of all life equally.

I commit myself to stop who I am as panic within my mind when I see that my bank account is getting low and to instead focus on writing, self-forgiveness and supporting an Equal Money System to thus end our enslavement to and as money.

I commit myself to continue to walk this my Journey to Life, to establish and manifest an expression of myself within and as my physical body and reality whereas I stop who I’ve become defined as through emotions/feelings and energy programmed through by/as money and to within that direct myself to contribute to creating and manifesting a world that is in fact best for all.

——–

Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life

Join the forum:
Desteni

The FREE online course where you learn Essential Life Skills!
Desteni Lite

Day 186: Inside Outside In-between (My Daughter’s Moving Back Home)

There are many changes going on within my immediate world right now beginning with the fact that my youngest daughter, her boyfriend and my 2 year old granddaughter will be moving in with us in the next week. My daughter will be going to school for the next few years to be a Registered Nurse and her school schedule is compromising her work schedule and at the moment they can no longer afford their rent. The only way losing their home could be prevented would be if an Equal Money System were already in place.

Equal Money will change the way life itself is experienced especially since the Majority of us are struggling every day just to survive, thus, there are certainly enough to breathe Equal Money into Life.

I’ve realized through some personal writings how money has played a Huge factor in who I am and how I’ve come to accept and allow our current world/money system to exist as it is.  For instance, I measured my mother’s love for me according to how much money she was willing and/or able to spend on me even though at the time I didn’t realize it – how her spending initiated a positive energetic charge within me and so she, (or rather her money) was able to make me feel good. When she didn’t get me what I wanted, my experience of myself was a negative one and it just so happened that was 95% of the time.

I can remember having internal conversations and back chat where within my mind I would say to myself: “when I have kids I will not be so greedy with my money”, “I will not favor one of my children over the other one”.  And as a kid, I was sure my mom spent more money on my brothers and sisters than she did on me.

The thing is, when I grew up and had kids,  I repeated the same patterns as my parents. Eventually I favored my youngest daughter over my other daughter and my oldest child, my son – here I’m referring to the amount of money I have given and /or spent on them.
inside outside in between1The fact is, I’ve done a grave injustice in how I’ve raised all of my children and specifically with my youngest and with regards to money. I was always trying to make my children happy, to ‘fix’ their world – always trying to make them ‘feel’ good and in doing so, of course I made myself feel better, or so I ‘thought’.

There is a huge problem when one is trying to make someone ‘feel’ better because ‘feeling good’ is Not the magic formula to becoming a responsible human being who is considerate of All life.  In fact, just the opposite happens.

I can see how all of the emotions and feelings surrounding the numerous moments when a bill couldn’t be paid or when there wasn’t enough money to buy food – all the pain and suffering could have been prevented with Equal Money.

Equal Money is a living example of what it is to be responsible for All Life on Earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money as a motivator for my reason for the fear of feeling rejected by my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I’ve become within what I believed was expected of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to raise my children within my world of fear which I’ve continued to exist within and as based in memory/characters and personalities that I first imagined and created for myself as a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the image/thought of the look on my mom’s face when she would get angry at me for asking her to buy something for me – and for how I resisted the image so much so that I became it and then created the opposite side of the coin of it in that I over indulged in order to manifest a positive energy experience within and as me and for my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed internal conversations and backchat to determine the choices I made with regards to money in raising my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put on a happy face in the face of others all the while inside myself existing within a split version of myself trying to maintain the positive within a negative experience of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I have suppressed myself because I believed I couldn’t express my feelings and opinions about money and family social status.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how easy it is to deceive myself and others with a smile.

Suggest for context Hear: Living in Two Worlds – Life Review

to be continued
———
Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life

Join the forum:
Desteni

The FREE online course where you learn Essential Life Skills!
Desteni Lite

Day 90: BeHolden

Continuation of the following blogs:
Day 87: Feels so good, Hurts so bad – –
Day 88 – 89: BeLonging
– –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be indebted and/or beholden to/as our current world/money system where through relationship ties we compete against one another using jealousy, greed and money to WIN – as if life is a game.

I commit myself to educating myself in how memories create how we become in DEBT to ourselves and others according to/through Self-INTEREST, as the attention we give to the mind.

~ ~
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize, and understand how my mother is my mirror and I am hers according to how for generation after generation we’ve existed where each child is/has been conditioned through/as their parents into our own alternate mind realities where we exist with absolutely no consideration for anything and/or anyone except that of pleasing ourself, in/as and through living as memories/personalities of/as our parents, which we accept/allow and create in/as our minds and then try and manifest them into and as our physical body/reality/world in/as self-interest/need/want/desire and greed.


I commit myself to stop existing within a character of guilt as a mother in fear, wherein I withdraw into myself as if there’s a ball of suppression/ burden within the pit of my stomach in regret and sorrow, in worrying about how my children will survive tomorrow thus, I stop. I breathe. I realize that to exist within guilt and fear is draining life from me as my physical body and, I am no longer willing to accept that, therefore, I direct myself and take self-responsibility and prove to myself who I am willing myself to be in support of a world according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to expose the polarity equation of love and hate and to stop placing value within illusions of feeling good according to memories/characters/ personalities, because I see, realize and understand that doing so completely forsakes our responsibilities to the children within our world who require that we as adults assist and support them in common sense – instead of feelings and emotions – to prepare them to take self-responsibility in order to lead the way in manifesting/creating a world/money system which will support All life according to what’s best for all.

When and as I see myself existing within a point of guilt and fear, where I see how I want to swoop in and ‘save’ my children through financial means and/or taking responsibility for them, in attempting to ‘fix’ their world so they’ll ‘feel’ better, I Stop. I Breathe. I see, realize and understand how the only way to support them is to support myself even if it means that they have to fall in order to stand because I see, realize and understand how ultimately the only solution that will ensure a world worthy of children is that of an Equal Money System and thus in supporting ourselves with Equal Money we’re supporting All.

I see, realize and understand how important it is to assist and support myself in walking this process of self-forgiveness, to be able to align myself with walking equal to and one with existence and to stop accepting and allowing guilt/fear/characters/personalities/thoughts/feelings and emotions to exist as me which has perpetuated the suffering, pain and consequences that is existent within this existence.


I commit myself to stop longing for belongings in order to provide an addition to myself as something pleasing in order to ‘feel’ as if I ‘belong’.

I commit myself to stop seeing my children as if they’re a box of objects of/for use as effects in order to show off, and/or to make me ‘feel’ better about myself simply because I don’t want to face me and the Mess I’ve accepted and allowed within this world/money system.

I commit myself to show that the only right a parent has is the right to take self-responsibility in supporting a world that guarantees No child goes without food, a home, clothes, clean water, an education and healthcare.

I commit myself to stop jealousy, self-interest and greed in realizing that to exist as such further fuels our mind as consciousness which keeps us enslaved to our current world/money system, thus I commit myself to show how in order to stop the pain and suffering that currently exists within our world, we must first stop, forgive and direct ourselves according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to show how our world requires an education system that will prepare each one of us to become a self-aware, responsible part of the human race that lives a fulfilled and productive life of happiness and fun and, how Equal Money will ensure that everybody will be effectively educated to live in harmony with everything here including, plants, animals and our environment.

I commit myself to support me as my physical body, to comprehend how life here on earth is a living representation of how, who and what exists within the mind-physical body of/as the human.

(Please read Heaven’s Blog with regards to:How a Child Learns from the Mother: DAY 96)

Day 88 – 89: BeLonging

Continuation from: Day 87: Feels so good, Hurts so bad – –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in/as an illusion of control to/towards my children/relationships, wherein the nature of who I am is one of thinking/believing that someone is mine, thus, I can raise my children however I please because, ‘they BELONG to me’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a belief that I have the right to teach my child the same wants, needs and desires that I have existed as, wherein through fear, guilt, jealousy and an illusion of control, I have abused who I am as my physical body and my physical reality in order to have relationships/experiences according to my wants, needs and desires.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when my children were younger, to see my social life as more important than the life of my children, where I lacked preparing them to take self-responsibility for themselves and/as all life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the importance of teaching my children how vital it is to investigate who we are as our physical body – instead of pursuing ourselves in/as Memories/characters/personalities according to how we’ve been pre-programmed from the lives of generations before us.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be unable/unwilling to answer the question, ‘why did you bring a child into this world knowing full well the struggle of survival that the child will face being born within our current/world/money system’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in self-interest and greed not consider how – who we are as our mind as consciousness – is only out to satisfy and fuel itself as a way of keeping us enslaved to our current world/money system – how everything here is here to support the very EVIL we LIVE as, as that which we call life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to LIVE so wrapped up in/as my mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions, that it didn’t occur to me that I am the one who decides who I am and how and what I accept and allow, thus, whatever is here, is here only because I / We accept and allow it and therefore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in/as characters/personalities of/as my mind, allowed myself to distract myself from seeing the pain and suffering existent as life on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not walk as a living example for my children in teaching/showing/preparing them how to care for our physical bodies and our physical reality, including the animals and plants, our earth, the trees, our water, the air we breathe, and the dirt we walk on/as – within the realization of how we as our physical body and our physical reality is how we are able to exist here, thus, to abuse anyOne and/or anything, is to abuse All and everything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not fully comprehend how life here on earth is a living representation of how, who and what exists within the mind-physical body of/as the human.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how important it is to investigate/teach ourselves and our children to communicate with and as our physical body to understand the meaning of how/why we experience pain within and as it.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to through fear and guilt, avoided physical touch with/as my children as they grew older.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how when jealousy exists within me, then the illusion of control exist within me, because within the nature of jealousy toward another, I am actually trying to protect and defend/control my children/relationship within the context of how I want another to be with regards to how I want our relationship/experience to be – according to how I want to experience myself within the context of the relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how through my mind as jealousy, I have existed in/as a state of demonism where I have accepted and allowed jealousy and control as me, and as such, I have accepted and allowed myself to be completely taken over in/as experiences of myself where jealousy and control take over the context of my relationships within and as me as my physical body and within our physical world/reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how in the very beginning of my relationships, I have accepted and allowed a pre-conceived idea, which I have superimposed onto my relationships according to how I want the relationship to be, thus, jealousy and control are the components I’ve used to keep the relationship going according to how I desire it to be, because I try and control the relationship by becoming jealous of others who I see as a threat toward my desire, want and need, in how I have intended the relationship to be within my illusion of control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that within my illusion of control I fail to see that I am not in-fact in control of the relationship because within my illusion of control what I’m actually trying to do is to manifest and create into reality my wants, needs and desires which is the point behind control in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to motivate all of my relationships according to how I want, need and desire them to be and within that I believed myself as having control, when in fact I’ve only been supporting my own self-interest in/as my mind as consciousness in order to get and have experiences of myself according to how I want them to be and to hell with how anyone else has to experience themselves within this world/money system of/as poverty, starvation and greed.

i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I have let jealousy within the relationship of/as inferiority/superiority to control who I am within my relationship to/toward myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat others as my belongings – in how I have created relationships over and over again through my wants, needs and desires as jealousy within the illusion of control in/as superiority and inferiority, where I feel inferior to that which I’ve not understood in how the relationship exists superior in relation to me in how and what I’m accepting and allowing and thus, I’ve continued to seek myself within the illusion of control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately generate energy within myself for the purposes of having illusions within wants, needs, desires, control, jealousy and, superiority and inferiority – instead of seeing/realizing and understanding how me as my mind and my physical body within our physical reality, is here as a gift to assist and support our process of realizing who we are as Life, thus I forgive myself that I have taken for granted that which I am, as my physical body within this physical reality, and I direct myself here according to and in support of a world according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system where children are not heard, seen, recognized, loved, noticed and/or wanted within this world because if they were, then every child born would be guaranteed a lifetime of food, a home, clean water, clothes, healthcare and a proper education.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be chased by desire, want and need to be important, to be noticed, to be recognized, to be appreciated, to be accepted, to be desired, to be loved and to be wanted – all of which are attributes within my mind as Ego, where I have placed myself on a pedestal in my own world, even before my children, and have ignored the atrocities that exist within this world, because of my idea as being more superior than everyone else within a less than idea of myself, within my mind as ego in how and what I’ve perceived according to how/what I was taught and learned as being the ‘right way’ and thus, I raised my children accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am responsible for me as my mind and my physical body as well as how our physical world/reality exists, according to what I / We have accepted and allowed within a world/money system that is Not supportive of All living beings and, that I / We decide and determine how our world exists – as such I / We are able to Stop accepting and allowing abuse within our world/money system and to instead stand up as One Man One Vote in support of an Equal Money system, which will support All Life Equal in all ways.

to be continued

(Please read Heaven’s Blog with regards to: Parenting Building a Child’s Character)