Tag Archive | solutions

Day 107: Commitment

Self-Corrective/Self-Commitment Statements for the following Blogs:
Day 105: Stage Fright
Day 106: A Play in One Act as Drama
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I see, realize and understand that when I experience fear I am accessing a memory as the cause of my fear and within that I have been creating as a protection, characters of myself, thus, I commit myself to stop, to breathe, and remain aware of myself in and as such a character, in seeing, realizing and understanding that when I am ‘in character’, I will look for love as a medicine/cure for the fear I am accepting and allowing myself to experience, thus, I Stop. I Breathe.

I commit myself to stop the act of me as a ‘character’ of and as my mind, who fears becoming ‘homeless/penniless’, because I see, realize and understand how and when I began existing as such a character as a way to protect myself from the fear I have existed as where within that fear I also become a ‘drama queen character’, and, a ‘what if character’ – all of which, when I am existing as them – I fear losing the comfort of places and things within my life that I hold onto as a positive experience of myself, thus, I commit myself to, through self-corrective application stop myself within and as such memories/characters which are a limitation of me as consciousness.

I commit myself to show through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application how it is possible to stop self from role playing within and as our mind as memories/characters and personalities and to take self-responsibility for ourselves and others within our world as ourselves.

I commit myself to stop the characters of and as my mind of/as memories which I see, realize and understand are all points of fear within myself that I’ve feared into being as a living expression of who, what and how I’ve come to exist as, and according to what I’ve accepted and allowed to exist as within and as my world, and, I see, realize and understand that I am the one who decides who I am, and I chose to Stand up and face myself in self-honesty and stand in support of a world according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to stop waiting for and as ‘what if’s’, and to instead face myself here within this moment, to move myself physically in the direction that is supportive to and as All life within and as Equality.

I commit myself to show that memories/characters/personalities keep us set within a limited expression of ourselves where in fear we accept and allow ourself directed by/as consciousness, which is Not who we really are, thus, I commit myself to in self-honesty through self-corrective application, walk the Journey to Life in showing that life is here to be realized free from fear and limitation and how through self-forgiveness and consistency one can walk standing up according to that which is best for All.

I commit myself to show that one Does Not require motivation through fear as emotions and feelings to guide self to be that which we are as life in and as equality and oneness.

I commit myself to show that the condition of the world can and will change with Equal Money and that the only condition necessary and relevant is that of equality as what is best for all life in all ways.

I commit myself to stop limiting myself according to memories as fear as characters of and as my mind which I see, realize and understand separates me from me as my physical body.

I commit myself to enjoying myself within and this Journey to Life in/as seeing, realizing, understanding, investigating and comprehending every aspect of me as who I am within and as me as my physical body in how I am one within and without equal to and one as everything and all here.

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Day 106: A Play in One Act as Drama

This post is a continuation from:
Day 105: Stage Fright

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing everything and becoming ‘penniless’ which is the exact word I heard my mom say often when I was growing up, where she would in fear and frustration defend her over-spending to my dad by saying “we’re not ‘yet’ penniless”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly fear the unknown within the meaning of what my mom meant when she said, “we’re not ‘yet’ penniless”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a picture image as a thought of my mom and dad sitting at the dining room table once a week ‘going over the bills‘ – where as children me and my siblings knew better than to interrupt them, in what became a weekly occasion of disagreement, fear and stress with regards to money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I’m experiencing fear – will reach out for somebody to love me, which is how me as my mind as consciousness seeks to protect itself, thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to repeat the same characters/patterns of behaviour that I lived and saw within my parents that I accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the abused and the abuser, all the while believing I had found the love of my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear of becoming homeless based on memories from my past abusive marriage – where I’ve ‘blamed’ my ex-husband for my fears, according to how I experienced myself within his threats of kicking me out of our home as well as when he left me alone on a dark road in the middle of the night, thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take self-responsibility for the fact that I alone create my fears and experiences through how I justify my behavior and participation within what I accepted and allowed as self-manipulation and self-victimization.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be characters of/as my mind where I lived/played out love affairs in order to put out the fear existent within me, which was/is the fear of facing myself within what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as within and as our physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be motivated through fear to participate in/as my thoughts and emotions, thus scripting myself in/as a homeless/penniless character in accordance to those emotions, because I feared that my needs, wants and desires wouldn’t be fulfilled if for some reason I were to lose my home and/or all of my belongings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only be concerned and fearful about what I will lose, because I’ve become so dependent upon having a positive comfortable experience for myself, that I’ve failed to comprehend how in my comfort, I accept, allow, manifest and create the opposite polarity in/as and the lives of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself within polarity manifestations of/as my mind, to neglect me as my physical body as well as the safety and well being of/as the physical body of others and our Physical Reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within and as memories/characters/ personalities of/as my mind from the mind of my parents, developed abusive patterns of neglect against me as my physical body, where when I was waiting for my parents to finish their bill paying/arguments, I began the habit/behaviour of biting my fingernails.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within and as memories/characters/personalities of/as my mind from the mind of my parents, developed ways to satisfy myself through masturbation at a very young age and then feel guilty for doing so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have little to no memory of me as as a child gazing upon me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a child in and as fear of being alone, abandon me as my physical body to fantasize about falling in love within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how emotional responses/reactions become the consequence of me trying to fulfill who I am in self-interest as needs, wants and desires of the mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how participating in thoughts lead to feelings/emotions which lead to physical actions, which lead to physical manifested consequences which result in abuse to/as our physical body and our physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how CONflict is at the heart of all the Drama as a characters of/as our mind – where memories/thoughts/personalities turn Man against Man as a Society, and Man against our Environment/Nature as who we are as our World/Reality/Existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for how I experienced myself because in my participation in and as my mind, I existed in expectations wherein I expected someone and/or something outside of me to fix me as who I had become within and as the fear and feelings/emotions that I was accepting and allowing, thus, I see, realize and understand that the only one who can fix me is me is self-honesty, as it is I who decides who I am and what I am willing to accept and allow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never completely stand and take self-responsibility for how I have experienced myself within my life because I accepted what I was told by other’s in fear, as something I had to accept – instead of investigating and questioning for myself how and why and the part I play within everything that is here.

to be continued

Day 105: Stage Fright

The past couple of days, I’ve felt like I was experiencing first night jitters and/or stage fright, because me as my mind, was trying to ease myself into the idea of possibly becoming the Homeless Character – for real. Now this is a character I have memories of in how I have scripted myself within fear of being homeless.

So when we began to have huge fires surrounding our area – and no insurance coverage for our home and property – I saw how it wasn’t the fires engulfing me, it was the fear of, what if?

At one point we decided we had better pack up a few things ‘just in case’, because we were told to be ready to evacuate at a moments notice. I saw how the physical act of packing eased my fears and assisted me to gain some common sense perspective. And then – the phone would ring and someone with another fire update would assist me in keeping my fear of being homeless character in control of me. By Saturday evening, me as my physical body was paying the price for the fear I had participated in, where in the pit of my stomach was pain like I’ve not had in a very long time and, I was physically and mentally exhausted – which is something I rarely experience. I was completely wore out from all of my character/role playing.

The thing is, I’m grateful for the experience, because I was able to be more aware than I’ve ever been in seeing how devastating fear is. How fear is silent as it exists within our secret mind, and very deadly to who we are as our physical bodies and physical reality. I saw how our mind in fear will deceive us to the max – where when I stopped participating in thoughts of being homeless and ‘thought’ I was breathing, I wasn’t.

I was suppressing myself within fear of loss where I experienced feelings – which I shared with my partner – where I suddenly felt lonely and alone, like I wanted to go searching for that feeling one experiences when one is first falling in love. Which was how me as my mind was trying to protect itself.

When I exposed the point to my partner, another quick thought replaced the feeling, it was, ‘well then, I’ll just get high and buy a pack of cigarettes and smoke them all’. lol – I didn’t actually consider either – instead I stopped, breathed and applied self-forgiveness. The point is, the mind as consciousness will look for a quick fix, a cure/medicine for the fear and ultimately our physical bodies and our physical reality pays the ultimate price.

Fortunately, no one was seriously and/or physically injured in the fires, however, many lost their homes. It’s a humbling experience and I realized just how much self-interest and greed still exists within and as me and, I also realized how if we had an Equal Money system in place – I wouldn’t have had to face the homeless character of/as my mind nor feared becoming homeless for real.

**Within the posts to follow I will be walking the process of self-forgiveness and self-corrective/self-commitment statements – in regards to specific memories, picture images as thoughts, and, the many different characters which were triggered within my mind beginning with the fear character of becoming homeless.**

How have my decisions affected me?

Bizarro

Once again I’ve been accused of being in a cult, and how I’ve ‘given up’ friends and family because of the decisions I’ve made in the past, almost four years now.  I have to laugh at this because, let’s have a look at what I’ve ‘given up’:  Almost, if not all of the friendships and relationships I’ve supposedly ‘given up’ were abusive and self defeating to say the least.  I speak only about my part in these relationships and, I now stand self responsible for who I was and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

How have my decisions affected me?  Well, I have stopped addictions to smoking and all drug addictions, including that of smoking pot, and addictions to at least 8 different prescription medications.  I’ve stopped the highly addictive behavior of gambling as well as shoplifting to support my habit of gambling and, I’ve stopped lying to myself and others, which goes along with all addictions.  And, I have not only stopped, but I have NO desires to participate in them and, I don’t have to keep going to meetings in order to ‘feel good’ about my decision.  I also no longer ‘feel’ the need to gossip, judge and/or blame others for how I experience myself in my life and instead I take full responsibility for who I am and my actions thereof.  I am far from perfect but, I support myself daily through the tools I’ve realized work amazingly when applied.

I no longer accept that almost a billion people should continue to be allowed to starve to death daily and instead I comprehend that there is no sense to the madness and the atrocity of it being allowed while some in this world have more than they can possibly ever need and/or require in one lifetime while others have absolutely nothing.  Daily as I walk a process of self-honesty and self-forgiveness I am continually and genuinely shocked and amazed at the amount of mind control that is existent in us as humans, yet, mind control is working well because most humans will flat deny they are existing as such.  We as humanity have existed in competition and greed as we’re lead by the seat of our ego’s and, we have never given a shit about anyone except ourself and we’re scared to death to admit it.

 Through Desteni I Process, I have stopped feelings and emotions of severe depression as well as all of the above addictions and behaviors mentioned.  I am beginning to breathe for the first time ever and stopping the bullshit I had always accepted myself to become.  So whoever wants to accuse me of being in a cult can basically, kiss my ass.  Because for once in my life I get that we are all equal and one to how our world exists and it’s flat out pathetic what we refuse to see in how we are all existing as.

I have absolutely NO regrets in my decisions to join Desteni except one, and that is that I didn’t begin sooner. This world cannot continue the way it is and it’s high time each and every one of us shut the hell up, breathe and see what it is we’re accepting and allowing.  Or, I suppose you can go have another sip of alcohol while you pretend that everything is going to be alright and, pretending is all it is because, eventually the eruption that is taking place all over the world will erupt in the face of what we’re accepting and allowing.  So remember, there is one place you can look to for assistance, where Equality will always be.   That is Desteni.  When you decide to stop – Join Us.  We are standing up for and as all life, as all as one as Equal.  We will NOT Stop until Equality exists here for All.

Equal Money Website

Self Acceptance through Self Forgiveness

monkeyhug

I forgive myself for the child in me who feared and hated and for the adult I became who accepted and allowed anger and hate and spite towards myself and others wherein I felt sorry for myself and others and in doing so I separated myself from all life and accepted and allowed the world to exist as it is.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience anger at the idea of myself as feeling sorry for myself for being trapped in the design of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience anger at the design of control and censorship that humanity exists as and such for a moment I allowed the thought to exist within me where I wanted to tell the whole world to fuck off and/or die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think there’s something wrong with me because I feel fed up with life to the point that I want to tell others to wake the hell up and/or fuck off.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself onto others wherein I have held onto a point of victimization as how I existed and in doing so I have victimized all life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project anger and hate of self onto others and in doing so I have accepted and allowed anger and hate to manifest within this world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing hate that caused me to go into depression and loneliness of self because I wanted to be more wherein nothing made me feel like more because in accepting and allowing such I am denying myself to myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing thoughts and ideas of self abuse, self pity and spite towards myself and others in frustration that others are unable to perceive the deception we all have existed as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to give up on myself and humanity and for thinking and believing that I am not worthy of existing in this world within free expression without the fear of doing something wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to grow up feeling sorry for myself so much so that I have felt sorry for others when in fact there is no one to feel sorry for – there is only life as us all to stand up for and as so as to bring about a world that is worthy and exists according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be caught in a time loop in which I experience myself as difficult and frustrating where it seems hard to be me because I see what I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a slave to expectations within society in fear that I will be influenced into believing that this world cannot change and where I have accepted and allowed myself to want to please others to the point of not seeing how and what I was existing as which has been in separation from and as all life here.   I am not a slave to my past.  I am here directing myself to not allow myself to enter cycles of self pity and self abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into judgment and regret of what might have been and/or due to fear of change wherein I then feel sorry for myself within a point of self victimization.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abandon myself within a purpose of trying to make others happy wherein I selfishly and secretly sought attention, instead of realizing that in doing so I am avoiding facing fears that I have always avoided facing as who I’ve been and how and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as, which is nothing more than the mind directing me instead of me standing in self-honesty and directing me as my mind according to and as the principle of equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never really understand what it means to be and to love myself and to nurture me because I have feared myself and others because I have wanted to please people or be liked.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed anger to be me wherein I have spited others who are against Desteni and Equality instead of realizing that in doing so I am actually spiting myself and all life for what I have accepted and allowed in not standing and directing myself according to and as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am brave when in fact I have been fearful of a world that is hating and fighting each other, instead of realizing that I have been existing in hate and fighting against myself within how and what I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to reject me, Cathy, because I allowed thoughts and feelings of anger and self pity to exist which I had not yet directed as myself – one and equal.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see that weakness is a lie and is determined by the definition and power I believe it to be and of which is a lie and I no longer believe nor accept and allow myself to believe such a thing.  Instead I realize that I am here as this moment as breath as life as all as one as equal.

I Stop.  I Breathe, I see within myself what I accepted and allowed myself to be which is afraid of changing myself because what I participated in still had value to me and thus I was not willing to confront the point.  I see the point and I forgive myself for existing within a self defined definition of myself within what I was participating in.

I see that within every moment there are various points that I am facing and what I’m willing to accept and allow within each moment. Self trust is realizing that I am able to assist and support me no matter what, who or how the moment presents itself when I am standing breathing in self-honesty according to what’s best for all.  I am grateful for me and I will not be defined through an expression or action and/or by how a situation presents itself to be nor by anyone except me, standing here as all as one as equal.

Why do we need an Equal Money System?

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When we are very young children, the idea of love and money doesn’t really matter to us . What does matter is that we are able to play and, that we are being cared for ‘physically’, with food, water, clothes and shelter, as well as the ability to have an Education and Healthcare.  It’s not until we are taught how to ‘think’, ‘believe’, ‘talk’, and then ‘act’, that we begin to perceive the importance of love and money.  Then we begin to suppress our fears through feelings and emotions with regards to love and money, where we begin the search to find someone to ‘love’ us and it becomes all that is important as we begin to cover up what we’re truly experiencing within ourselves with regards to our fear of surviving and/or our fear of having no money in order to survive.

As mind consciousness systems, preprogrammed according to how we are taught, we’ve never actually experienced love because love has never been free from risk.  If what we risk reveals what we value, it makes sense that we’ve always valued money over life because we’ve always been willing to risk having more than others just as long as we are able to survive.   I never  wanted to face this point of self because no one wants to admit they are willing to risk the lives of others in order to have more than another – yet in the race to have more we have put the lives of others at risk.

The same principle of risk applies to love and relationships as well because, we are willing to risk being the one who is loved and appreciated the most above others – it’s the same with all energetic experiences we participate in,  including eating as well as playing because according to our programming, there have always been competition amongst us.  We feed off of love and money through various emotion and feeling experiences generated through the act of thinking.  Energies which are created by the mind which confine and direct us and, once the energies run out we then begin repeating the cycle.

There’s energetic excitement in the game of surviving, so I suppose it’s no wonder that some have difficulty supporting Equal Money because, who will we be when we don’t have the power of money in which to define us as better than another.  Sexual favors are also bought by those who have the money to pay for it and money as such is given to those who have no other means but to offer their body to sex in order to survive.

Look at the number of people who reach the end of their life, who are often reported saying they wish they would have taken more risks however, the risk they never took was to challenge life outside of the direction of their current mind set  – the risk of seeing ourselves in self-honesty where we are then able to recognize our oneness with everything and all here.

We risk the lives of others daily when we avoid recognizing and considering the struggles of others through war, starvation and homelessness.  With an ‘Equal Money System’ – All Life will be considered and provided for.  Where real freedom exists – there will be no more silencing the voice of those speaking out against atrocity and thus the atrocities of life will stop.  To silence one, is to silence us all because our current money system plays us against each other.  An Equal Money System will eventually bring an end to our bickering and fighting with each other and all crimes against life will end because all life will be supported Equally.

Risk who you are in self-honesty  according to what’s best for all, and in-fact you’ll be risking nothing but, will achieve everything for yourself as well as for all.  ‘Make Peace, Be Friends with Your Enemy’, is statement in separation that can be seen through self-forgiveness where we then manifest the ability to see that forgiveness of others was never necessary because we see that there was never anyone else to forgive, or ‘make peace with’, except for ourself. 

We have to risk facing who we’ve become in order to see who we are because who we are is Equal and One to and as All Life here according to what we accept and allow. Where you see and understand that every single being has the same right to a life in dignity as we in-fact require for ourself in order for our physical body to breathe and function here on earth properly.  When we all as one equally begin to walk as such we will together manifest heaven on earth and then who knows what we are capable of,  but it’s going to be quite a party – An Equal Life Party.  Join Us!

Equal Money – The Only Solution that makes sense!

Support an Equal Money System Here – Support All Life

Forgiving reasons

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I know it all when I have known nothing of what living and supporting all life equally really is.  I stop. I breathe in as I accept and allow support through and as my physical body as me according to and as the equality equation of and as all life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reason with myself that I am right and/or wrong according to what I perceived myself to know and/or understand when I have never lived who I am according to what’s best for all as who I am as all life equally responsible for all life here.  I stop. I Breathe, I accept and allow myself to walk life through and as self-trust in support of and as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical body through treacherous thoughts and actions of weakness according to emotions and feelings where I calculated myself as unworthy and unable to stand up in support of and as all life here.  I Stop. I Breathe in through and as my physical body as I direct myself here to stand in support for and as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am innocent when clearly I have never known myself to be nor have I ever existed as innocence.  I stop. I breath and I stand hand in hand in support of and as all living beings as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in separation from the very definition and purpose of what equal and one really is as I ignored life through self-interest, ego and greed.  I stop.  I breath in acceptance of me as my physical body as I direct and support myself through and as my physical body according to what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to grasp at shadows of myself through believing that I must win the game of cat and mouse where I chased after an experience of myself so as to glorify a self definition according to who and how I was existing as.  Instead I Stop – I Breathe and I face myself within all that is here as me according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated where I feel sorry for myself during moments when my physical body is communicating to me through physical symptoms of fever, pain and irritation. I stop – I direct myself through and as my physical body wherein I allow myself to be here in every moment of breath where I am a living example of support for and as all life Equal to and as this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical body when it aches through and as fear, sadness and despair where I sense a point of wanting to give up and retreat inside myself and hide.   I Stop. Instead I breathe through self-willed actions of me here according to and as the principle of equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worship a God where I believed I committed sins and existed in fear while I avoided taking responsibility for who I am within all that is here. I stop. I breathe in as an awareness of and as my physical body as I accept and allow myself to be who I am becoming according to and as the oneness of and as touch through and as my physical body according to and as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the right to life to all because I fancied money according to  how I wanted to experience myself with money where I valued money over and above everything and everyone here.  I Stop. I Breathe, I direct myself standing here in support of and as an Equal Money System so that all living beings may be supported and allowed a life of dignity.