Tag Archive | self responsibility

Day 278: The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

It’s been just over 6 and a half years since I first began to take responsibility for myself by applying self forgiveness and walking a process of self corrected application. This I’ve been able to do through applying the tools provided through Desteni and the Life Skills & Self-Mastery Online Course offered through Desteni I Process.

What I realized the most about myself in the beginning was that I didn’t have any real self-direction, meaning: for my entire life I had just sort of, ‘followed the crowd’. I did only what I absolutely had to do to survive in this world and frankly, I hated how hard life is when money is scarce, and I had practically given up on humanity because basically, I’d given up on myself.

The big game changer for me was when I failed to pay some fines that I owed to the county, not paying and not completing the conditions of my sentencing landed me in solitary confinement for 2 days, and then jail for 2 weeks. In solitary confinement all I had was myself and the thoughts in my head, and it was then that I knew I had to learn how to stop my thoughts instead of letting the fear of them possess me to the point that I was creating all kinds of unwanted consequences for myself.

Fortunately, the Desteni material assisted me to get a hold of myself, so to speak, to stop running from myself, and interestingly enough, when I began to face myself is when I began to realize that I can no longer allow myself to turn a blind eye to all the suffering in this world from poverty and war for profit.

Art By: Marlen Vargas Del Razo

Marlen art - stop separationSo 6 1/2 years ago, I made the decision to stand up, to take responsibility for myself through writing and self forgiveness and I will continue to do so as I walk my Journey to Life within the realization that life on earth is Not being lived to it’s full potential, and that a great change is not only needed, it is inevitable – what with the great inequalities that we continue to accept and allow to exist within and as our world.

As I continued to comprehend the level of my own brainwashing and the patterns and mind-sets that I’ve allowed to control and direct me, what I knew then, and I’m sure of,  is that there is no turning back. Now that I’ve gotten a glimpse of understanding who I am as my mind as consciousness, and seeing what I’ve been accepting and allowing, I know that I can never again deny myself the chance to in self honesty,  change the very nature of myself for real, through walking the path of Principled Living.

This then the story of How and Why: I commit myself to live by the following Principles, which represent life in a way where the Living experience itself, as Life lived on Earth, may always be in support of Life before profit, as All living beings will be forever recognized and cared for Equally as One.

In posts to come – I will walk practical examples of how I apply / live these principles.

The Desteni of Living

1. Realising and living my utmost potential

2. Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all

3. Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa

4. Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realising I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I take responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others

5. Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realising only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others

6. Realising that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well

7. Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

8. With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as you would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own

9. Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honour and stand by what is best for all and so best for me

10. Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE

11. No one can save you, save yourself – the realisation that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone

12. Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realise I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realisation that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today

13. Honouring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves

14. Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one

15. Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honour, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.

16. Realising that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come

17. I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my living actions, become a living example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realise how we can change this world, by standing united in our self change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth

18. I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this living world.

19. Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realising it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath

20. Realising that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honour, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me

21. We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realise this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without

22. The realisation that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

23. The realisation that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth

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Day 211: Processing…

For Context Read: Day 209: ‘The Lump’ Sum of ‘What If’s’

So in a couple of days, I will be having a biopsy taken from an area where I found a lump in my breast. And, so I realize that I really need to investigate and share in writing what’s been going on within me, to document how my mind has been ‘processing’ the new information/ situation that I’m currently walking.,,,

,,,I’m going to stop right here for a moment to ‘acKnowledge’ and Stop the reaction I became aware of as I finished writing that paragraph. The reaction was to immediately stop sharing what I was writing.  I’m familiar with this pattern, and I am committed to continue sharing this point and Direct myself from Reactive Responses to Self RESPONSE-ability.

 Please hear: From Reactive Responses to Self RESPONSE-ability – Part Three: DAY 334 for further Clarity and Specificity.

Continuing,,, So, because of the future ‘biopsy’ I have scheduled – which my mind is using as the reason for how I’ve been experiencing myself – I’m investigating this point of fear, which I’m obviously automatically enslaved to because I’ve seen through my participation and observation how I have defined myself as a reactive response.    It’s like watching myself try and adapt to a new ‘Processing’ System being developed within and as me.

During the day, here’s how it goes, I will access a point where I will through a memory association activate my imagination and within that a specific picture flashes within my mind, where I see myself as kind of floating.monkey on my back

Almost as if I’m waiting on myself. Waiting to catch up to myself meaning to Stop and breathe. The negative feeling experience happens quickly and I experience myself as if I’m being tugged between a negative energy and a  positive energy. A tug-of-war where the tugging initiates waves of FEAR  and then, like a finger pulling the trigger on a loaded gun,,,suddenly,,, Bang!   There I am, Smack dab in a pocket of FEAr.

When that happens, when the trigger has been pulled, I suddenly realize how my physical body is assisting me to remember to STOP participating as I experience a moment of physical weakness which sends a negative energetic charge of doom and gloom throughout my entire physical body, and in that moment, it feels like the MONkEY on my back has just saddled in for a long ride,, until I finally take self-responsibility, I Stop participating, I Breathe.

The Physical Experience where I became weak,  has happened only twice recently, and each time I’ve been able to effectively Stop myself from participating any further. . But I mean,  this is just what I’m aware of,  a reactive response which happens suddenly and unexpectedly and has numerous dimensions – all of which happens in a matter of seconds. Consciousness as our Mind is a MASSive preprogrammed system of reactive responses to self-responsibility instead of the ability to respond instead of reacting.

Thus I’ve been sitting with the fear so to speak, and investigating the common sense answers to my own questions…

When did I begin to accept this particular physical manifested consequense? ( I will share ‘when’ in a future post)

Will the biopsy result be a death sentence?

Will I be here this time next year?

What exactly is it that I really fear?

Do I fear losing my breath? As in taking my last breath… Is the IMage of myself taking my last breath the exact point of participation that is fueling my fear? Because obviously I have no Real idea what it’s  like to take one’s last breath…

I have a memory associated with the fear of not being able to breathe. I once swallowed a couple of aspirins, which dissolved so fast that they somehow went into my windpipe which caused me to not be able to breathe, so my partner had to perform CPR. It took 3 times of chest compressions and I was turning purple when finally, I was able to breathe again…

Continuing…I’m realizing how what I fear is based upon negative and positive energetic experiences within and as Memories and according to what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be through and as them in how I’ve accumulated myself through and as Thoughts/Pictures/Imagination/Backchat/Reactions and,  What are the  Consequences of how I’ve manifested them as here within and as my Physical Body???
processing
As I continue to investigate, I realize  that ‘ve been lying to myself – that what I actually fear is how I have defined myself and sentenced myself to exist as within the same fear that  ‘I thought’ I saw within the eyes of my mother just days before she became deathly ill and died.

I believed I witnessed the exact moment when she gave up on herself, her Life.

What I didn’t realize then that I am realizing now,  is that what I was seeing within her, was a reflection of my own fear  of giving up.

Actually, I was giving myself a glimpse of my own fear of mortality, which is actually fear of taking self-responsibility for myself and for how our entire current world system exists as according to what I’ve accepted and allowed.

For awhile I wanted to give up on myself and any and all parts of this world as myself and I used my mother’s death as a reason to do so…

In doing so, I made many mistakes, including the damage I caused to myself as my Physical Body and the damage to my relationship with my partner – which I valued most and within that how I buried myself beneath self-pity and it’s accepted sorrow… So, again, I am facing the consequences of my decisions and subsequently additionally, facing the fears which were born  when I chose to Not take self-responsibility for myself and our world as myself.

The bottom line here is,  instead of participating in relationship to what automatically comes up within and as my mind, I Commit Myself to Direct myself to develop my self-awareness and move MySelf to Self-Directive Change – rather than the controlled change which I exist as now where I change from Characters and Personalities through my relationships with positive and negative balancing of polarities!  

Day 154: The Hand of God is made of Money



“Sometimes the very things that we fight against are actually the hand of God trying to push us into a new season.” Joel Osteen

With regards to the above quote by Joel Osteen.  Have a look at how he avoids the facts when he refers to ‘the very things we fight against’ within our world, yet, see how he manipulates a rise in our feelings through using the words ‘fight against’, then as always, using the hand he’s been given that he claims is from God – which is made of/from money – he stops short, and offers no solution for all  that is tangible for assisting our world.

Maybe, Mr. Osteen actually believes what he’s selling, yet, what he’s selling offers no support for the tremendous amount of suffering, poverty, war and starvation which is happening within every corner of our world. In fact, he’s known for saying how he likes to focus on the positive within our world, and thus, chooses not to mention the poor and suffering.  Maybe he’s taking advantage of our willingness to accept him as having some sort of special powers because after all, his net worth is an estimated $40 million.

So, when he writes a quote that implies there is a God somewhere fighting our battles for us – maybe he wants to be sure that we’ll continue to support the plight of the rich and famous, or, maybe he really does believe that he’s special and that there really is a God somewhere willing to bless his need for greed while millions suffer in poverty and starve to death.

However,the fact remains, WE support him.  He earns his Money from US.   NOT a God.

The only season upon us in the one where the rich are seizing the opportunity to sell hope to the slaves (us), and thus far, we’ve been willing to buy it.  I choose to stop…

Please don’t misunderstand. I am not placing blame on Mr. Osteen.  The Fact is, We’re All responsible for how our current world/money system exists.

It’s time to realize that the battle going on here on earth,  is between the haves and the have-nots.

Throughout our entire history, nothing has ever changed. It’s the same story over and over, where only the picture and the players change, and, it’s Always, Always, about making and having the most MONEY/Power.

No God will ever come save us, because what is real is what is here which is US.

Thus, we’re going to have to save ourselves. No one can do that for us.

Investigate how: Equal Money

“I Forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how what I accept and allow here in the small, in my own life – I will accept and allow in my relationship to humanity/this world. Where, whenever I face a point of responsibility, like for example each of us human beings, individually standing within self-responsibility to ourselves and to all, we instead each individually abdicate that practical reality responsibility of sorting out THIS REAL WORLD, creating a NEGATIVE towards it within ourselves in all of our opinions, judgments, fears, insecurities, knowledge and information and INSTEAD create a POSITIVE in our Minds through/within Religions/Spiritualities/Movements/Entertainment etc. – following only the GOOD FEELINGS in our own self-interest, when: How would this World change if we stop, individually, looking at everything as a Negative in our Minds, but PRACTICALLY approach the problems/consequences in this world and come up with PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS that would be best for all, in equality and oneness, Here. But, interestingly enough, we are so caught up in the spinning webs of our Minds in ENERGY that human beings, individually, would fight/defend/protect their POSITIVE FEELINGS and regard this more than All Life on Earth. That they cannot see beyond the POSITIVE ENERGY, how Life on Earth would change for ALL within, for example the proposed Equal Money System. But, it’s fascinating here, that: individuals cannot have the ‘Positive Feelings/Energies’ in the Mind, if the Negative/Bad in their lives/this world do not exist as it does, cause for the Positive to Exist, the Negative must exist. And so, we as human beings will keep this world/humanity the way it is, just to have/maintain/possess the Positive-Energy Experiences we have defined ourselves as in the MIND…” Sunette Spies – Heaven’s Journey to Life

I hate this world – The choice to stop and breathe

Every memory of myself involves fear of loss, and whether it was a fear of losing a parent, a relationship, a job or money, or fear of losing my mind, and the fear of losing my life – the starting point has always been that of fear, fear of facing myself. My whole childhood was that of reactions and fears and there was no way of knowing how to disable the charging up that was coming from within myself. It wasn’t long before I had suppressed and become the fears in which I participated in within my mind of repetitive thought patterns and emotions and feelings until there was nothing of me except memories. The strangest thing is how I began to justify and validate my fears as I manipulated myself into accepting and allowing the fear within my mind to continue to direct and control me.

So the tools of Desteni I Process has assisted me to release myself of numerous points of fear and self manipulation through applying self forgiveness and breathing. It’s an education for self that all can benefit from and it would have been amazing to have been taught the tools of Desteni as a child. Every moment of self is a process, so today, upon hearing of Gadhafi’s death, I became aware of fear that was coming up from inside me. I saw how my physical body stiffened in my shoulder and chest area and honestly, I wanted to attack. The energy seemed to swell within me and suddenly I realized that this was it, a moment of fear where I decide what I’m going to accept and allow myself to be. Was I going to give in to fear, anger and anxiety, (which was a point of fearing the future), or am I going to breathe through the energetic reaction. Because there’s always a choice for self to stop and breathe.

At that point, I wanted to cry and then I saw disappointment and judgment and I began to look at how the emotion and anger was building itself according to four words: ‘I hate this world’.

I chose to stop and breathe and stand within and as the fear and see for myself what it is that I haven‘t dealt with because fear only hides what I’m accepting and allowing myself to be.

In that moment of breathing it’s as if everything stopped and I saw how within those words I was existing in polarity to the point of feeling sick, sick at what I was seeing done to another human being – the physical sick feeling reminded me of the power of the mind of consciousness and was nothing more than a coping mechanism – it is not who I really am. It’s truly amazing how in that moment the fear, anger and anxiety was gone.

My physical body assists me and when I stop and breathe I am able to direct me as my mind as my physical body. Our process on earth is not an easy one, however through self forgiveness and self honesty we have the power and the responsibility to stand and direct ourselves to stop. Moment by moment let’s get this done and be a living example of equality so that all may exist here in dignity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is ever a valid reason to allow the experience of fear to manipulate and control me. I stop. I breathe and direct me here as living according to that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am not able to
change. I stop. I breathe and accept and allow myself to be the change required to stop fear and suffering as atrocity and stand in support of and as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use fear as a coping mechanism to not face me and my responsibility in how our world exist. I stop. I breathe and direct me here according to a principle of equality that I may assist and support all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear. I stop and breathe. I accept and allow myself to forgive myself and stand responsible and accountable for and as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create from a starting point of fear of loss instead of realizing that my creation is equal and one as me and thus I cannot lose my creation because my creation is me. I accept and support myself to stand according to ‘what’s best for self is best for all’.