Tag Archive | perception

Day 189: Self-fulfilling Prophecy

Last night I had a dream where I saw someone whose face was blurry and unrecognizable,  yet someone I very much desired attention from . In the dream,  I was aware of how I wanted the person to see me, want me, fulfill and complete me. As the dream was ending I saw a thought/image of myself sitting on the floor with my knees up and my arms wrapped around my legs with my head bent down in disbelief because I realized the person with the blurred face and unrecognizable was me.

hunger
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the negative emotional charges as an experience within me that feels lost and lonely within and as the idea of what if no one sees me, desires and/or wants me.

I forgive myself for the thought/image of myself looking, seeking, longing for attention wherein I desire to be seen, wanted, fulfilled and completed by something and/or someone outside of myself, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that that is how I avoid facing what I’ve become – the vampire who can’t get enough as I continue to suck the life out of me as my physical body and this physical reality through participating in and as negative and positive polarity emotions and feelings, believing I will reach a point of satisfaction when in fact it doesn’t exist,  because I AM that which I’ve been reaching for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself living my life according to a belief thus influencing my actions and reactions where I allow expectations to foster behavior that consistently manifest the expectations.

I forgive myself for the thought/image of myself where I’m sitting on the floor with my knees up and my arms wrapped around my legs with my head bent down – where I’m existing within a state of emotional abandonment in realizing what I’ve accepted and allowed in and as characters/personalities and behaviors only ever looking for answers to my own self-fulfilling prophecy no different from living the law of attraction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I have internal conversation and back chat that says: ‘they don’t like me’ and/or ‘I’m not good enough‘, it’s because I’ve justified my behavior accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed, almost lost like in not realizing that my reactions are actually towards a projection as an image or picture within my mind – not a real expression of me as who I am in and as my own process -but reaching for an image of myself for greatness – instead of me getting to know me in self-honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as feeling physically famished, like a hunger and/or an emptiness within myself for how I have become in and as my attempt of living my own self-fulfilling prophecy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project future presentations of myself without yet forgiving and investigating and redesigning who I am because of having lived according to characters/personalities of/as the self-fulfilling prophecies of what I’ve accepted and allowed.

I commit myself to stop who I am and how I’ve existed in and as living my own self-fulfilling prophecy, where in self-interest and desire I’ve pursued life within the beliefs and ideas of what can I do, what can I have, what can I buy and get and/or what can I be in order that I may be happy.

I commit myself to stop the dreams of and as my mind of what might have been and realize that ‘Might’ keeps me locked into the past of emotions, feelings and moods, thus, I commit myself to stop manipulating myself through thoughts into words which I’ve perceived to be acceptable and to instead direct my thoughts to become a living expression of who I choose to be as an expression of life within and as a practical living example that will ensure that everyone have a right to life according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to face the fear of facing the nature of who I’ve become as my thoughts and to allow myself to direct my thoughts as what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become to that which is able to walkas the directive principle of self according to and as the principle of equality.

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Earth Journey to Life

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Day 102: Playing the Somebody Done Me Wrong Song

When I find myself reacting as I did this evening, where I experience backchat/thoughts within the perception that someone isn’t ‘acting’ right and/or they aren’t ‘communicating’ effectively with me (which is what I tend to project onto my partner), I see how I ‘automatically’ throw my hands in the air and say out loud, ‘I’m Done‘, and/or I will remain quiet, but within my mind, I will play out the act of throwing my hands in the air and saying ‘I’m Done’!

This character is how I sabotage myself into believing that I am the victim and then it’s as if I can here the song playing – ‘somebody done me wrong’ – within that I will give myself permission to withdraw into myself and pout.

What is really going on within me when I accept and allow myself to act/behave/become this character, is that I’m actually giving up on my relationship with myself. I let me as my mind as consciousness direct me instead of me facing myself in self-honesty and stopping how and what I’m accepting and allowing and participating within and as. Thus, I project the outflow of emotions from my participation onto whoever is in the path of my self-sabotage, which is usually my partner. This cause to withdraw is one of many lines of dance which I use to separate me from who I am as my physical body within and as this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself within the belief that when I don’t get my way that I am the victim to somebody doing me wrong, therefore, I will withdraw into myself and hide, pout, shut down and blame another (my partner) as being the reason for why I have the ‘right’ to sit and stew in and as my mind and stop participating within what’s real as our physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep score within polarity emotion/feeling energies of negative and positive – where when I’m having a negative experience of myself I will look to my partner to fix me by giving me attention and/or communicating with me in a way that will assist me to have a positive experience of myself and, if my partner doesn’t assist me in changing my experience of myself, I will blame him as not communicating and/or acting right and, if he doesn’t respond again, I will play my song of somebody done me wrong and will withdraw within myself in silence, as if to punish my partner when what I’m actually doing is accepting and allowing me as my mind as consciousness as memories/characters/personalities/thoughts and emotions and feelings to rule who I am, and within that, I am suppressing and manifesting pain, illness and disease within and as me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how it is only me that I am ever actually having a relationship with in and as my mind and, until and when I forgive, correct and become a living example of self-responsibility in/as self-honesty to/as all life here, I will be unable to have an effective relationship/agreement within anyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek validation and love from others when I’ve never been willing to slow down, breathe, validate and love myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a mind set that effective communication within a relationship requires a proper/predetermined beginning and an end, just like a pre-scheduled program.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forsake me as my physical body when I go off on energetic binges within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself and within that anger, not realize that the reason for my anger is because within me I am screaming out for me to hear myself in self-honesty, and to thus stop accepting and allowing myself to support our current world/money system of/as war, poverty and starvation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that how our world exists can only change when change begins first within myself.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing the ‘somebody done me wrong song’ and, to stop demanding another to take responsibility for who I am within what I accept and allow and exist as within our world/reality/existence.

I commit myself to stop the character of self-sabotage.

I commit myself to stop myself playing polarity games of negative/positive and neutrality.

I commit myself to stop self-interest in/as memories/characters/personalities/thoughts and emotions and feelings

I commit myself to prove to myself what is means to be truly supportive for and as me as my physical body.

I commit myself to never give up on life, to slow myself down, breathe, validate and love myself within and as self-honesty in total commitment to support a world according to what’s best for All.

Day 63: Radical Relationship: Authority as a desired experience for/as Money

This blog is a continuation to: Day 62: Radical Relationship: Feeling Threatened

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that within my relationship/marriage, I have attempted to acheive a personal perception of authority over my partner wherein I play out patterns of polarity and shift between negative and positve energetic experiences of/for myself – which, whether I realized it at the time or not – have always been within the context of money/energy to gain power/control and authority within our relationship.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand how I’ve maintained my relationship through polarity shifts of energy between positive and negative money experiences, where for example through gambling, I acted as having ‘the authority’ within our relationship to gamble away money as I sought for a positive experience in justifying that I have ‘proved myself’ as worthy of having the role of authority through winning, and, when I didn’t win, I used what was then a negative experience of myself to my advantage, creating yet again another perception within my mind first as having ‘a position’ of authority, thus was able to manipulate my partner to ‘feel sorry’ for me, thus forgiving me for gambling/wasting ‘his’ hard earned money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define money as ‘his money’, ‘my money, and/or ‘our money’, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed money as the ruler in determining which side of the coin I’m on within the game of polarity.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to fully comprehend how I’ve defined money within my relationship/marriage as a powersource which stimulates conflict between us according to how much of it we have or don’t have, thus, money, according to how we’ve accepted and allowed it, is the root cause and symbolizes the conflicts throughout the story of our relationship/marriage.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that I’ve used gambling/money for survival like a vampire uses blood and within that I’ve not considered the point of what’s best for all when deciding to gamble as I was only out to have an experience of/for myself where I became the addict and my drug of choice was money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money as a weapon against my partner wherein I have sabotaged our relationship over and over through my spending habits and financial values all of which have existed in self-interest and greed and the need for speed/energetic money experience.

I commit myself to walking equal and one with my partner in assisting and supporting one another to show that together walking self-forgiveness and through Desteni I Process, we can and will together stand in support of an Equal Money system – to stop relationships based in and as money and dishonesty – and instead begin living agreements together in/as self-honesty and self-expression.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand how money has become an experience for me so much so that I’ve neglected to actually fully comprehend how MONEY is THE SOURCE, The God of this existence which determines who eats/lives and/or who starves/dies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to determine that ‘I have the right’ to spend money the way I want to because in/as ego I accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my mind as consciousness where my perception is that of pre-programming in the design of ‘I am right and you are wrong’ syndrome/resonant mind pattern, and as that, I’m unable to direct myself to see what is here in common sense within the moment.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself existing within a possession of ego, I stop, I breathe. I realize that the pattern of abuse in and as money is as old as time and that to stop myself looping in time requires self-corrective application of breathing through any and all desires to have an experience of myself which I see/realize and understand is always able to be traced back to being about money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become the ultimate money-loving consumer supporting the manifested creation of what is here, as HELL on Earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the true epitome of and as money, wherein I have used/abused, spent and consumed my way through life taking for granted all the things that ‘money’ will buy, all the while pretending as if I cared about those who have no money for food, clean water, clothes, a home, an education and healthcare, and, the fact is, if I truly cared, my spending habits will reflect who I am based upon the Decision to Support a world/money system according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to expose how our current money system is the MONEY Pit in Time as an embodiment of pre-programming as mind consciousness systems, and that in order to release ourselves from/as/how and what we’ve accumulated ourselves within and as, as the abuse which is more than apparent within our current world/money system, will require an Equal Money system which will honour and support ALL living beings according to what’s best for ALL.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek authority over my partner and/or anyone within this world, as I see/realize and understand that polarity exists within authority which can only exist within inferiority and/or superiority, both being opposite ends within deadly games of competition/greed as the Tug of WAR.

I commit myself to stop, breathe and remain aware of myself here, to see myself within clarity to be the Self-directive principle of me – thus I stop desires and urges for energetic money experiences – I educate myself further in how our current world/money system functions so as to better assist and support the Equal Money system in creating a world that guarantees every child born unto this world has absolutely everything required for living life as Heaven on Earth according to what’s best for ALL.

I commit myself to show how the number of children growing up in a single parent household is rising and that one out of every three children will be raised by a single parent, thus in common sense, it is easy to determine that in order to stop child neglect/abuse/poverty and starvation we require a system that supports every child born on Earth from Birth til Death, and that that system is an Equal Money System.

Please READ the following Blogs:
Energy – the Mask of the Devil: DAY 43
The Prophets of Damnation: DAY 47
Sacrificial Love of the Mother: DAY 48

Day 22: Authority game
Day 23: Self Commitment statements

Day 66: Relationship Dynamics – Part 1
Day 67: Relationship Dynamics – Part 2
Day 68: Relationship Dynamics – Part 3

Also, Download the following awesome interviews @ Eqafe:
Emotional Turmoil as a Radical Reaction within Relationship
The Money Experience
MoneyEnergy in the Mirror

“BREATH will carry you through the onslaught. Self-honesty will make sure you accumulate self-integrity; self-forgiveness will make sure you do not fall into the trap of feelings. Common-sense with the equality equation will make sure you question the relationships of things to the point where you understand how it was created and how you can recreate it in a way that is best for all.” ~ Bernard Poolman