Tag Archive | partnerships

Day 104: Dog-Eat-Dog World

Recently – I accepted and allowed myself to stress which is related to how our current money system exists -thus sharing here self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel’ as if I’ve only got one leg to stand on within this current world/money system that exists as a dog-eat-dog world where one must eat or be eaten, meaning to hell with everyone else because even if we have to lie and cheat to do it, we will survive within this dog-eat-dog world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a world/money system where people will fight for themselves only and will hurt other people because we believe ourselves to be that which we are living as, which is a dog-eat-dog world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and become sad when I hear my child cry in fear of not being able to pay the rent and feed her child and within that I forgive myself for wanting to make my child ‘feel’ better by paying the bills and then feeling guilty because I can’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spend my day worrying over whether my children can pay their rent and have food to eat and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only be concerned about the welfare of mine – instead of the welfare of All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as my mind of thoughts in fear of what’s going to happen if there’s not enough money to survive to the point where I feel as if I am being suffocated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about the lives of my own children and family but ignore the thousands of children around the world who starve to death daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system where money is the God that determines who lives and who dies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at our current world/money system even though I see it is me that I am angry at for accepting and allowing hell on earth to continue.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed greed to rule me according to the rules of a money system that will let a child go homeless and starve to death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how money is the common DEMONator within every moment of our daily lives.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a world/money system where through competition we sell things that other people need for more than we paid for it just so we can profit because it’s a dog-eat-dog world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a system where people live on hope and a prayer to have more than their neighbor – instead of walking in and as the shoes of their neighbor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the importance in giving unto another that which one would like to receive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a world/money system where people are so hungry for success that they will do anything to survive and be successful – instead of considering the consequences of consciousness in the very acts of our survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a world/money system that gives a false sense of caring through charities and/or donations which only act as a bandaid when in fact the wounds from our money system is a huge gapping whole of pain and suffering.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a world/money system that does not consider nor support that which allows us to be here in the first place which is our physical bodies and our physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a world where we’ve yet to comprehend that life exists according to how and what we each individually decide – and that we / I can decide to support an Equal Money system and manifest Heaven on Earth.

I commit myself to stop charging me as my mind through emotions and feelings in fear and worry about my children’s ability to survive within our current world/money system.

I commit myself to educate people to the fact that we do Not have to continue this world as it is where we are constantly struggling to survive, how that through an Equal Money system every child born will be provided for from birth til death.

I commit myself to support me as my physical body and physical reality through stopping myself in/as participating in worry and stress, to see, realize and understand that I can only support and direct myself in this moment of breath.

I commit myself to comprehend and thus show how our world/money system functions in/as War itself according to it’s own purpose within it’s own physical manifestation of our entire physical existence within it’s own interest in accordance to serving only those who are rich instead of standing as physical living support for and as all Life.

I commit myself to fully comprehend, and thus show how the world/money system has it’s own mind as the mind of men and that the only practical living solution for the human to stop existing in/as a dog-eat-dog world will be that of an Equal Money System – thus eventually bringing an end to self-interest and greed.

Advertisements

Day 103: At the End of the Day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from the facts that are everywhere to be seen and understood of how and why our world is the way it is and how and why we are the way we are – because at the end of the day, I’m preprogrammed as consciousness and scared as hell to face what I’ve accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not question what was going on in the mind of a person that can take them to the point to open fire upon and kill people setting in a movie theater – because at the end of the day we put our trust in the media stories to determine the facts for us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a world/money system that puts people in jail and fines them hundreds of dollars for collecting rainwater – because at the end of the day, no one really cares about the fact that profit is valued over life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people really do want to know the truth about how our world/money system exists – because at the end of the day the fact is, people still pray for a cure for cancer which already exists, and to a God that doesn’t exist because they ‘think’ it makes them ‘feel‘ better – instead of realizing it is that which keeps us enslaved.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a world/money system where people will become whatever character is necessary for them to receive their monthly paycheck – because at the end of the day no one cares to apply common sense and take self-responsibility in making a decision to stop supporting that which is Not supportive for All life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that what we allow to happen to another we are ultimately accepting and allowing to happen to us – because at the end of the day the majority is enslaved to the minority – instead of realizing what it really means to walk in the shoes of another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore how the most common causes of stress in family life are money and work related in/as being enslaved to our current world/money system – because at the end of the day, we don’t want to let go of self-interest and greed and come together as a Group to Stand in Support of an Equal Money System to bring an end to world hunger/wars and enslavement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the battle within myself and manifest and create it as my outside world – because at the end of the day I haven’t seen, realized and understood how when I see war and hunger I am seeing my own existence within and as myself as such.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that even when we ‘believe’ we’ve ‘found’ ourselves, we still get up every morning and go to work every day and participate in same way, always enslaved to the same world/money system – because at the end of the day we’ve not considered a solution to why so many millions of people are happily participating in this capitalistic repressive system and ‘believing’ ourselves to be living ‘the good LIEfe’ within an enslaved institution as consciousness programmed beings – thus in our choosing to ‘believe we’ve found ourselves’ we’re only expressing the continuation of our participation in/as our own mind/enslavement.

I commit myself to at the end of the day in self-honesty prove to/for myself that I have walked the day in and as the shoes of another in standing in support of a system which will educate All living beings in how to effectively support our earth and all life here according to manifesting a world according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to question and investigate my world and to see, realize and understand my responsibility within everything and all life here.

I commit myself to stop sacrificing the lives of all so that a few can have everything and to instead support a system which supports Everyone according to What’s Best for All to manifest a world in/as Equality.

Please read and watch the following for reference:
The Century of the Self
Colorado shooting suspect was facing eviction
30 Days In Jail For Collecting Rainwater
Cancer Cure Documentary – Dr. Burzynski Antineoplaston Therapy
Day 15: Who am I? Prisoner of the Mind?
Day 27: Money is the Soldiers of the Mind
Equal Money

Day 67: Energetic HangOver

Reference below refers to the following Blogs:
Day 65: Living in Hope is a TRAP
Day 66: Radical Relationship: Dragging Faces of Anger

The past two days having accepted and allowed myself to exploit myself from one polarity to the next – seesawing from negative to positive energetic outflows, so much so that today, I experienced myself where within my physical body are degrees of feeling UP, then feeling Down – similar to how one experiences themself after to much alcohol or drugs where one experiences a ‘Hangover’- which is the result of how/what I accepted and allowed within and as energetic highs/reactions from participating in and as thoughts, feelings and emotions as well as reacting to a physical expression given in my direction from my partner – all of which I am completely responsible for. Thus, the following self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be and become physical chemical reactions as energy derived from participating in and as thoughts of hope and in/as stress within polarities of inferiority/superiority whereas the affects of/as existing as such manifest within my physical body as physical symptoms of feeling hung over/exhausted/abused/dying on the inside.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as energy to Not see/realize and understand that any reaction experience to/towards anything or anyone within existence indicates separation within a limited definition of myself Veiled in and as the mind as consciousness where I am the SUBJECT of my own Mind Control in/ as a superiority and inferiority game of my own design which subsequently is abusive to/as life itself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as energy to submit myself in/as emotions of/as superiority in my purSUIT to live thrills of/as a type of adrenaline junkie tripped out in experiences of power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in/as energy to Not fully grasp how damaging the act of existing in/as superiority to/towards others really is upon my physical body, nor have I comprehended the fact that I can never actually fill up the voidness feeling within myself through acts as such because self-interest and greed IS the cause of the desire to fill myself up in the first place due to a lack of intimacy within and as self within living a lie within and as a World of Inequality that I am responsible for accepting and allowing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself within and as energetic polarities to participate within the act of measuring myself as more than or less than in comparison to other living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as energy to function on behalf of my beingness wherein the past couple of days I’ve teetered to and from negative and positive energetic lows and highs as inferiority/superiority while dragging my partner alongside riding the outflows of/as my reactions to/toward him, wherein my self-interest has known no bounds and more than likely manifested more injustice within our physical reality considering how I’ve raised havoc within and as my physical body in/as manifesting pain in my neck and shoulders feeling like I’m carrying the weight of the my own self-dishonesty upon my shoulders.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as energetic polarities of/as inferiority/superiority to function in and as my relationships based upon past, present and future projections of myself, thus, I forgive myself that I’ve Not accepted and allowed myself to realize that in order for my past to be present through and as future projections of myself, thus I see/realize and understand that I alone as a Mind Consciousness system have been stringing myself along, layering, storing and manifesting dimensions of myself as energy from and as thoughts, feelings, emotions, and memory participation and in/as energetic polarity experiences of myself – thus, I must walk the physical consequences of my own manipulation which accumulates as outflows of stress upon/within and as me as my physical body as well as my physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as energy as superiority to judge my partner according to my past, present and/or my future projections of myself within an idea of how I have previously experienced myself and/or how I hope to experience myself again, thus Not realizing that through and as my own self-imposed beliefs according to how I desire to obtain myself as within an experience, I will thus become irritated and blame my partner when my experience of myself doesn’t reach the all encompassing energetic charge as I had ‘Hoped’ and expected it to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exploit myself in/as energy for the sake of acheiving myself in and as a superiority/high for the sake of taking a winning position in and as my own self-interested agenda so I could feel better about myself for surviving another day within our current capitalistic money/world system, that I honestly don’t see as changing anytime soon, and within that, I forgive myself for how I use energy as an escape for Not facing, forgiving and directing myself as the directive principle in order to bring about an actual change within self thus the ability to be the support required in order to bring about a world according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget the part of me who as a child asked my mom why was she so sad and when she replied, ‘that’s what happens when you get older’, and I saw for a moment in common sense as I walked away how that didn’t make sense and I wasn’t gping to live my life that way, Not realizing then that what I was witness to was the negative end of the polarity pole as energy in/as feelings as a human being as a Mind Consciousness system enslaved to a world/money system of which we are quite capable of stopping and redesigning according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system that enforces polarity games through Capitalism and Profit and offers No actual support for our physical body as life by way of guaranteed food/nourishment, housing, clean water, clothes, healthcare and education for everybody, so that life is able to be Expressed instead of stressed and depressed.

I commit myself to stop my mind as energetic polarities of superiority/inferiority, positive/negative, happy/sad, right/wrong, and good/bad, and to see/realize and understand that when I accept and allow myself to remain self-responsible for the actions of myself as breath in awareness according to what’s best for all – there will never be a reason for feelings of stress, shame and/or pain associated with profit and gain.

I commit myself to show myself through writing and self-forgiveness that energy and substance as who I am can be directed to contribute to this world and the lives of all of humanity for an equal and one life for all.

I commit myself to be an example in proving that the only way to fully bring polarized versions of ourselves to an end is to support an Equal Money System whereas All living beings are fully supported according to what’s best for All, thus, allowing the nature of who we really are to begin to step forth in Self-Honesty.

Please READ the following Blogs!
The History of Superiority and Inferiority: DAY 69

Day 20: Superiority and Inferiority game

“Unless the past pass over — you will pass over before the past is over” ~ Bernard Poolman
Day 56: The Past is Over

Day 66: Radical Relationship: Dragging Faces of Anger

Today I reacted to my partner in anger because of his facial expression when he looked at me which I took as an expression of dislike and/or dissatisfaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become anger.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that today when I reacted in anger towards my partner, I was existing within inferiority and insecurity according to a belief about myself that I accepted and allowed when I was a child where when my father became irritated at me, I took his facial expression as a sign of not being loved and/or wanted, thus, I forgive myself that I haven’t seen/realized or understood that the anger I’ve existed as is a mind construct born infear within and as an ongoing pattern which I accepted and allowed to be triggered through my eyes upon seeing certain physical expressions of others associated with pictures in my mind from/as memories from my childhood.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as anger manipulate my partner according to past patterns of when we were first together whereas through words in how we argued I would keep going on and on until he would eventually apologize even if he didn’t really see how or why he was apologizing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as anger to justify using spiteful words and raising my voice because I know that in doing so it will cause my partner to ‘shut down’, which I see/realize and understand now is how me as my mind gets off within a point of superiority thus, me in/as anger, I teeter back and forth between polarities of inferiority and superiority justifying and manipulating my way to scoring a win.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in/as anger not realize that to be the abused and the abuser is so because one doesn’t exist without the other.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as anger to be/become possessed inspite of the energetic charge having affects upon myself and my partner causing stress upon our physical bodies, wherein I experienced feeling as if my face felt draggy and my body felt heavy like being dragged through quick sand, and within that I see/realize and understand how accumulating anger in/as self initializes stAGES of aging through and as the abuse we project/manifest onto others and ourselves as our physical body where humans are the AGE of looking like who/how and what we’re living deMANds of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that I was not really angry at my partner, that I was actually angry at myself because I was participating within feeling disappointed in myself – wherein I was judging my process as not being effective and as anger was me reflecting my own inner inferiorities towards myself using anger as an energy to try and hide from myself by through projecting superiority, in order to receive validation to make myself feel better inside myself and, when my inner hunger for self intimacy wasn’t satisfied, I lashed out again at my partner in verbal diarrhea.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in/as anger to take advantage of my partner whose nature is to please, thus in/as anger I am enforcing and enabling him to remain within patterns he is forgiving and directing through self-corrective application thus, in/as anger, toward him, I am saboteur.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself reacting in/as anger infear to/towards my partner and/or anyone and/or anything for that matter, I Stop. I Breathe. I realize that the pattern of/as me as anger serves only as abuse, and in self-honesty, I see/realize and understand that that is unacceptable and I am no longer willing to exist as such.

I commit myself to releasing through self-forgiveness who I am as anger and through self-corrective application as I walk the path of self-honesty with/as my partner in agreement standing in support of a world according to what’s best of all.

I commit myself to show how through self-forgiveness and walking the Desteni I Process we are able to redefine relationships to one which will stand equally together in agreement, and as a group supporting that which supports all life according to what’s best for all.

Day 62: Radical Relationship: Feeling Threatened

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.”~ Carl Jung

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated with my partner when he made a joke at the cashier at the local grocery store because I saw him as trying to please and/or make her ‘smile’ and ‘be happy’ and within that I noticed how I suddenly felt uncomfortable in my flesh as if I wanted to wiggle loose from my physical body from the suddenly threatening ‘feeling’ I saw myself within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that that which I see as irritating within another is a point of reaction within myself meaning that I am existing as the very point I see in another as irritating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being irritated when that was not the actual point at all but within my accepting myself as irritation I actually became irritated and missed the point of seeing myself for who and How I was actually existing in and as which was infear – inferiority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘threatened’ by other women who I see/judge as younger/prettier within fearing that they may enter into a relationship/agreement with my partner, thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react inspite and backchat to/towards those who I see myself as infear of/inferior to according to the direction of my mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a people pleaser where I seek to validate others to make them smile and/or make them happy within the starting point of seeking validation for who I am and thus what I ‘thought’ I saw in my partner was actually only a reflection of my need to please.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the presence of another can have lasting affects on me, as me becoming either worse off or better off for having known them within the point where I’ve believed I was having a ‘spiritual experience’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within my marriage/relationship I have cloaked myself in deception so much so that I took pride in positioning myself to look and act better when I’m around people who appear to have money as opposed to people who appear to have very little to no money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that existing as the ego in believing myself as being better than is existing within two points of polarity of/as good/bad and positive/negative and within that, I see how existing as such is actually manifesting actual crimes against life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize that existing in polarity manifests acts of greed such as consumption/consumerism and is what keeps our current world/money system turning life into cycles of death.

DownLoad: Emotional Turmoil as a Radical Reaction within Relationship Here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my partner to still see me as pretty, and to desire me as he did when we first met, and the fact is, I realize that who I am as my physical body on the outside doesn’t ‘seem’ to match who I am on the inside, and that scares the hell out of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see aging as a bitter enemy because aging is confusing when on the outside the physical body changes but on the inside I still ‘feel young’, thus, the point I am seeing, in that, ‘feeling’ is Not, and has never been what defines one as actually ‘Living Life‘, because life cannot and will not ever be measured by/as experiences in/as feelings and emotions as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a ‘feeling of well being‘ and to actually believe that that is what living life is.

I commit myself to stop myself from experiencing life in feelings of threat, infear of losing that which isn’t mine to begin with because life is not meant to be had, to be kept, to be owned or lived in CONsuming, because life is meant to be Heaven on Earth for all living beings, Living Life according to what’s Best for All.

I commit myself to show that love is a fallacy = A fall-in-humanity-see…

I commit myself to show that: “Love can only truly exist within the context of the physical in terms of right action and wrong action in terms of what is best for all and what actual Equality is.” ~Bernard Poolman

Please READ the following Blogs:
Energy – the Mask of the Devil: DAY 43
The Prophets of Damnation: DAY 47
Sacrificial Love of the Mother: DAY 48

Day 65: The Glamour of Enlightenment
Day 66: Relationship Dynamics – Part 1
Day 67: Relationship Dynamics – Part 2

Day 18: Relationship Reaction to Voice Tonality

My partner said something to me today, and I reacted. Looking at the point now, it’s interesting because I see how I didn’t react so much to the words he said as much as the tone in which he spoke them. Obviously, I heard his words, but it was in his voice tonality in how it resonated within me – in how I connected with his meaning through his tone and then reacted.  My reaction was just there suddenly and I allowed myself to be swept into an emotional storm even within an understanding within myself that my reaction was coming forth even in my awareness of how I was in fact existing as the very point I was reacting to, and, I didn’t stop.  I didn’t stop and breathe and direct myself as I’ve learned and applied before – actually as we’ve both learned and applied before through our course in Desteni I Process.

So what happened was, I began to speak within an unconscious reaction, and then because of my voice tonality, my partner then reacted towards me, and so the complete moment turned into outbursts at each other until we both finally recognized ourself as breath, and stopped.  This is the point that I’m applying self-forgiveness for.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to react to my partners voice tonality – instead of stopping and moving myself to breathe and communicate to my partner that I’ve gone into an immediate reaction so as to allow myself a moment to breathe and remain here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to Not assist and support myself and my partner in being aware of my/our breathing to become aware of our voice tonality that it remain constant, clear, here, without reaction.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to when talking about a specific point with my partner I unconsciously reacted to his voice tonality which he then upon hearing a rise within my voice tonality, then reacted causing us both to set off a series of CHAIN REACTIONS, literally, existing as nothing more than  two minds as consciousness colliding and arguing at each other – which is of no use to us, or anyone or anything within this world, and certainly is in no way self-honest communication.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fall within the point wherein there was a moment within myself when I had the opportunity to stop, to shut the fuck up and breathe, to recognize the part of me that was equal to the tonality within his voice that I  reacted to, that I felt disappointment to/towards and thus, instead of forgiving myself,  I demanded a form of restitution by attacking.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be directed as a reactive energy of and as my mind as consciousness instead of breathing and directing myself here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to during a disagreement with my partner – want to throw my hands up and say fuck it – when in fact when I stop and breathe, and direct myself in self-honesty, I realize that that is Not what I really want.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become irritated and impatient towards my partner, instead of stopping and breathing in what I’ve realized in that that which I judge and/or bitch about another is in fact what I’m existing as within myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want to pull away in further separation from my partner during moments of disagreement – instead of stopping immediately and moving myself to breathe wherein I am able to see myself clearly in how and what I’m existing as and accepting myself to be in the moment and correct myself through self-corrective application.

Artwork By: Andrew Gable

I commit myself to when I see a reaction coming up within me to/towards my partner- I commit myself to stop and breathe and move myself to communicate in self-honesty in sharing what is going on within me so that my partner and I may assist and support each other with effective communication and through self-forgiveness assist each other walking together our individual Journey to Life to assist and support in bringing about a world that’s best for all.

I commit myself to slowing down and remaining aware of myself as breath so as to assist and support myself and my partner in assisting others in stopping the suffering and abuse and standing up in support for and as all Life.

I commit myself to never giving up on myself as I walk this process of self-forgiveness, along this Journey to Life, as I see and realize that this world is not as it can and must be in order that suffering and abuse may someday end, and in seeing the suffering of the animals and in realizing how the children of this world suffer in silence til they become living examples of us and so the cycles of suffering, abuse and death continue,  and I see, realize and understand that I am equally responsible to assist life as it currently exists so that Life in it’s truest form may emerge here within and as our physical reality as all as one as Equal.

I commit myself to becoming life as speaking and living words as me in self-honesty wherein my words as me in written and spoken form may emerge into and as a way that is supportive to/for and as all living beings and thus I commit myself to first breathing before I accept myself as inserting words unto this reality so that I may be assured that I am stopping myself from contributing any further suffering and/or abuse upon another and that I am in fact standing up for what’s Best for All.

“I commit myself to create love as the living result of communication, past life clearing, vocabulary alignment, psychological patterning clearing, self honesty, intimacy, goal alignment, investigation of and release of irrational fears and the training of myself in the skills of effective agreement design that all my relationships maybe always be best on what is best for life because of the relationship that was agreed to be formed.” Bernard Poolman

For further assistance with relationships visit: Creation’s Journey to Life –  Day 14: Do you Love Breakups?

And Desteni I Process New Relationships  Course