I have witnessed myself recently go into fits of coughing when talking and/or when I am commenting on a post on Desteni, Youtube, Facebook, anywhere wherein I am placing my words as me specifically as standing as a representation of who and how I am currently existing as who I am. It’s been frustrating, yet cool how my physical body is assisting and supporting me in stopping suppressing myself so as to breathe and allow words to flow as life as me equally as all here.
When I’m allowing fear and resistance within my words, I will cough. When I’m breathing as my words in self honesty equal and one supportive of all life here within unconditional self expression – then no cough or congestion occur – I am clear.
In an instant – The coughing will begin right as I’m speaking and/or typing my words, showing me when I’m suppressing my self expression equally as all here – this certainly is stopping me and getting my attention within the moment as assistance for me to realize how much I have contained myself within the conformities of the mind consciousness systems.
This pattern began when I was a child because of the influences of my mother and father within the Family System of the Mind Consciousness System designs. Wherein I was not able to stand up to my parents and was condemned to follow their example for the necessity to survive in this world. What a fuckup this is and we have all continued to pass this design generation after generation onto our children.
I remember how frustrated and angry as well how sad that I would become because of what I was accepting and allowing my parents to do unto me, but I had no idea nor the tools of how to assist myself and so all that remained was me suppressing how I was experiencing myself and I just walked through the motions of their instructions, lost in my mind, and I did as I was told in order to survive.
The sadness and disappointment that I have carried towards my parents as well as myself for having accepted and allowed this have further suppressed my self expression as me as unconditional as all here. As I’ve grew up, I have become my parents as the very manifested expressions of mind consciousness system designs that I as a child resisted until I gave up and gave in because I just wanted to somehow survive.
My parents experienced exactly the same from their parents as did their parents as have we all as we’ve continued the entrapments of our accepted self abuse as recycled mind constructs as each other – generation after generation within mind consciousness system enslavement patterns of abuse towards all life. I am now aware of these patterns and I now have the tools of self forgiveness and self honesty to push through these patterns within self application and stop them once and for all and bring forth from myself equality as unconditional self expression.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry and resentful towards my parents for having enforced their pre-programmed mind designs upon me instead of realizing that they as me as all have existed within a mind system design which is abusive towards all life without our realizing because of fear of facing ourself. In self honesty I stand as them as me as all and direct myself here equal and one as all life here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget my very own self dishonest existence as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become when I was younger in which I have existed as – instead I stop – I stand within self honesty and allow myself to express myself unconditionally within and as equality and oneness as all.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear me and to fear others as me because I have feared knowing who and what I have become and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be one with and equal to as what exist as me as the thoughts of the secret mind within me, the truth of me as the manifestation of self dishonesty. I stop. I stand within self honesty and I face myself within realizing that we are all as one as equal. I stand in support of myself as all as life here as me equal and one as all here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am one with and equal to my mind which is the very manifested presentation of self dishonesty, and in believing that I am one with and equal to my mind in self dishonesty as what and who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become – I experience and reflect and have manifested the very nature of my being as self dishonesty as my mind because I create as me an experience as me, manifested here as me, as that which I have accepted and allowed myself to be one with and equal to and thus have only known self expression as such. I Stop.
I redesign myself here free from conditions of the mind consciousness systems that I have accepted and allowed and I stand and direct myself within self honesty equally as all within unconditional self expression.