Tag Archive | old age

Day 285: Letting go of holding on to what used to be

Today I stumbled upon the picture of a couple celebrating 40 years of marriage. Now, I knew them when they were a newly married couple and very much a part of my life, some 40 years ago. I was 18, newly married with a baby boy who was less than a year old when I first met them. My then husband and I met them through a new church we were trying out at the time. Him and I would go on to spend some 7 years of our life hanging out with the them and some other couple’s – all of us were part of a young couple’s group that at the time was growing rapidly with many babies on the way.

what used to be

So I haven’t seen or even heard anything about this couple for at least 30 years, which is around the time that my first marriage ended and I just never saw them again. My ex got custody of our church friends and the church, so seeing the picture of the two of them together celebrating 40 years of marriage triggered a memory of my life with them in it and what I noticed upon seeing it was how within me. I felt a sort of odd comforting energetic sadness.

The oddly familiar emotion / energy is the same as I’ve been aware of going on within me for awhile now. So with the thing coming up again I realize that here’s another opportunity to fall for it or face it straight on and not participate in the energy of the thing. Instead I focus on breathing and continue on without the energy but remaining aware of how within the memory is this sadness / emotion within the idea and self-judgments and fear of loss I have towards myself within my mind in seeing myself growing old..

The topic of growing old and all that it entails has been a familiar topic as of late within the group that my partner and I are apart of, and I highly recommend one watch the Senior Live Google Hangouts for awesome support for topics regarding growing older.

Ok so what I realized when I saw the picture of them looking 40 years older was a moment where within me, I missed me, the me I was when I was with them way back then. For a moment I saw who I was in the memory and I wanted to take in the energy as comfort as if it were real. Instead, I was able to Stop, to breathe and remain aware of myself as I investigated the memory and directed myself to not allow myself to be taken over by it and I realized how growing old feels like the death of ourself, like grieving for ourself.

And I mean, when I look in the mirror, I don’t see the face of myself when I was 20, or 30 or even 40! And the thing about growing old is that no one prepares us for it. Sure no one wants to die, but no one really wants to start looking old either. Oh sure people joke about it or even lie and say they enjoy being older… But, ask most people who are over 55 and they’ll tell you that one of the hardest things about getting older is that it’s like you become invisible to others. It’s like people don’t really look at older folks, and anyone who is used to getting attention / energy – based on how they look for example – for them, growing old may mean the beginning of depression and / or feelings of isolation.

Both depression and isolating myself from others is something that I’ve written much self-forgiveness for and yet the point of growing old and how that feels within myself, is one I continue to investigate with the tools I’ve come to learn through Desteni I Process Pro . Together with those tools, and having cancer, I have the opportunity to physically reverse some of the damage that I’ve caused to my physical body through how and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be through and as my mind.

I see, realize and understand that, specifically with forgiving myself and letting go of holding on to what used to be. I see how within what feels like grief or sadness is actually a reaction of energy within the ‘fear of loss‘ and ‘fear of letting go’ construct. Seeing that,, I had to ask myself what holding onto things within myself within the construct of ‘fear of loss’ and ‘fear of letting go’ – how is being that construct, controlling and influencing my physical body..?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as my physical body to be in a constant state of fear that something may or might be lost and within that, I forgive myself for the adrenaline that comes up within my physical body as stress within the fear of ‘I must be ready’, for if and when something goes wrong that would cause me to lose control or cause me to lose my relationship to that something or someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the words, ‘you can’t control it’ within the ‘fear of loss’ and ‘fear of letting go’ construct.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the relationship between the words; ‘letting go’ and ‘control’ – where I’ve created an illusion that if I don’t control something or someone I will lose it/them and/or I will lose the context of myself in relation to that something or someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how that control and fear of loss relationship that the emotional energy creates is a physical tension within and as my physical body and how that physical tension imposes stress within and on the physical body.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my relationship with regards to how I react to the idea of letting go of fear of loss becomes similar to the grieving process because it’s who and how I’ve always existed as, thus, participation in any memory / thoughts of growing old and/or grief / sadness of who I used to be is simply because I’ve not yet walked a physical application where I do NOT react when fear of loss and letting go are triggered and / or when thoughts come up within emotions of sadness / grief, therefore, I commit myself to when and as I react in fear of loss and/or fear of letting go in relations to someone or something within my life I stop, I breathe, I apply self-forgiveness in the moment and let go and release, to move myself and Direct myself to Stand within the Decision to let it go.

I commit myself to when and as I see a memory come up – where my mind begs me to remember what so and so did and said, and how wonderful it was in how I believe the memory makes me feel – that this is a red flag for me to know there is more to forgive, thus I commit myself to ask myself what about it do I want to hold onto and what is it about myself within it that I do not want to change – to assist myself to Stand within my Commitment to let go of the fear of loss / the fear of letting go and the feeling of growing old / grief / sadness.

I commit myself to know where I stand with people and things, where I Stop the illusion within my mind of believing that I have to hold onto something or someone and to instead redefine my relationship to it/them according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that anything that can be lost, cannot and is Not real.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to continue to Investigate and Forgive myself for my relationship to things and people within the dimensions of control and fear of loss.

 

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Day 284: Redefining and Commitment to Living ‘Grace’

When I looked within myself at how I’ve lived the word ‘grace’, I could see that although I completely comprehend how we as a society have defined it, such as in ‘merriam-webster’:

: a way of moving that is smooth and attractive and that is not stiff or awkward
: a controlled, polite, and pleasant way of behaving
graces : skills that are needed for behaving in a polite way in social situations

I hadn’t really ever considered what living the word ‘grace’ may look like or mean.  In fact, when I looked at how I felt inside myself when I looked at the word ‘grace’, what I saw was a feeling of awkwardness and an almost stumbling within myself, like a ‘not knowing’ so to speak.

So I realized that I’ve never really considered that I’ve not only the ability to redefine who I am as ‘grace’, but I’ve also the responsibility to do so.  In doing so, one like’s to think it would be easy to redefine who one is as ‘grace’, however, asking oneself important questions like ‘what does it mean to live the word ‘grace’ and, ‘what would that mean being for oneself, one’s body, and way of living‘?

It’s not an easy question to answer or live as because who we are as our mind depends upon things from our outside world to stimulate and entertain us, so it requires a slowing down within oneself in order to assist oneself effectively.
grace
When I first began to focus on and redefine myself as ‘grace’, it was cool, but kind of surprising when I realized just how much I reLIEd upon the energy I would get when I’d participate in any way in the bizarre little personal attacks on myself that I was accepting as backchat within my mind.

It’s cool when you commit to investigating these things that are going on within your mind, you begin to see just how ridiculous it all is – like the small sentences of backchat where in your head your hearing things like, ‘you can’t do this’, ‘I’m tired‘, ‘your getting to old for that’, etc, all of which add up to some serious self-judgments and suppression.

So as I’ve been walking this point in real-time – forgiving myself for the self-loathing and self-critical way of thinking, and forgiving myself for allowing myself to be controlled to such a degree where I’ve been motivated to move myself by and as my mind – which is in itself physically exhausting and proof how damaging our thought processes are on our physical body.

Instead of allowing that, I directed myself to stop and forgive myself, so when a self-judgment thought would come up or re-occur, I would stop, breathe and focus on giving myself ‘grace’, remaining aware of what that means and feels like to give myself ‘grace’ as self support.

After a few days, the backchat attack began to raise doubts because my mind as consciousness was losing controls so it used fear through the words, ‘your body can’t handle this’.  That’s when within me, it was like my physical body as me Stood Up, and I saw how when those thoughts came up my entire physical body became tense and uncomfortable and I became aware of how my bottom lip sought to hold down my upper lip real tight like, so I used that as an awareness, a flag if you will to provide assistance for myself to know it’s time to stop and breathe!  Within that I began to recognize who I am as my physical body within and as ‘Grace’,  and how when I allow myself ‘Grace’ my entire inside relaxes in clarity.

So, it’s been a few weeks now since I began investigating this point and I’m realizing who I am as ‘grace’ is becoming of me more and more – where ‘grace’ is a soft place within where I flow comfortably through and as my entire physical body, and within that a great gift emerged in that within and as ‘Grace’, self-judgments towards myself and others cannot and does not exist.

And so I see an opportunity that’s opened up here for me to see, realize and understand what it means to Life the word ‘Grace’ into and as myself and our entire World System within and as All of Existence.

Therefore, I commit myself to direct myself to move myself with an awareness to change what I’ve been accepting and allowing within my world – through self-forgiveness I let go the paranoia that has been placed as control and created around religion and how living the word ‘grace’ throughout our lives became identified with the idea of a “God watching over us” or a “God who knows best” attitude as another way to justify spirituality and the paranoia around it to the extreme – I further commit myself to take actions that prevent harm to All Living beings, to get to the point of having the ‘Grace’ to consider the common good for All Life through a Living Income Proposal, to ensure All the opportunity of Living Life in accordance to what’s Best for All to become part of the way Life exist on Earth.

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“Politics is the Fascinating Interesting thing that is In Fact Legitimate and Legal as a way to Change the World, simply by Voting or Getting Involved in Creating Political Parties that Actually Present a Constitutional Bill of Rights, Ensuring that All Laws that exist are Aligned to that, Ensuring that All Necessary Preventions that Ensures a Life that is Best for All Happens on Earth – those kind of stuff all Happen through Politics, through Government. And Government is Not ‘Evil,’ Government is the Product of The People. If Governments are ‘Evil’ as so many Paranoids Claim, then They’re Evil because They are the Ones that Created the Government in the first place, they don’t have an Alternative = that’s quite a Problem. One Shouldn’t Judge: You Should Look for Solutions and Alternatives.

As long as You Have No solutions and Alternatives = You are Judging.

If You Have a Solution and Alternative = it’s No Longer a Judgment, it is Then Common Sense Reasoning.” Bernard Poolman

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Investigate

The Living Income Proposal

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“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it was Critical for the Successful Design of Consumerism as Resource Control by the few to get Personal Effort to be SUBJECT to the GRACE of an INVISIBLE GOD to which ALL SUCCESS was ATTRIBUTED, to make sure the Human will ACCEPT Personal Self-Interest as a RIGHT as SINNER to be able to Indulge and Feed Consumerism without feeling Guilty, as a Saviour or Messiah will come or has died for the SINNER that CANNOT Help but being SINFUL by Consuming. In this an INVISIBLE PACT was created between Consumerism and Religion with Consumers FUNDING Religion as a way of Passing for Penance as the 7th Day of Confession and Forgiveness – Creating a Human that Accepts as the Core of the Human: EVIL, that Cannot be Conquered by Self, but only through a Divine force.

 

I commit myself to show that the Human’s acceptance of themselves as inherently Evil can in fact be conquered by Self and does NOT require a Divine Force or Forgiveness from an Imaginary God, but requires the courage to be Self Honest, to dare oneself to care, and to give oneself the gift of Self-Forgiveness.” Bernard Poolman

Day 205: I’m too old for this!

More than once when I was younger and my children were small my babysitter would cancel and I would have to take them over to my mother’s house so I could go to work. When I would arrive later to pick them up it was common for her to tell me: ‘I’m too old for this’!

I mean I heard her say that so many times, and every time she must have felt guilty for saying it because she would always add a reminder to me of how much she ‘loved’ her grandchildren, but that they were just about to much for her to handle, what with her already daily duties of keeping the house clean and cooking supper for her and dad.

Back then I never looked at her words as being part of a program, a constructed pattern within and as who she was as her mind. Instead I judged her for saying so and I remember experiencing myself within a sort of euphoric state of denial. Because within my programming, within my own mind of delusion, I was sure that I would never come to feel like and thus live as the words: ‘I’m too old for this’!

Little did I know or comprehend how in that moment of my participation in thinking that I would never come to feel like that, that I already was it. Already accepting and allowing myself to become the same preprogrammed design of and as my mind. And, here, years later and today I heard the inner proof of my self accepted programming when within my mind I heard myself say: ‘I’m too old for this’!

too old for this
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a self-righteous moral attitude of superiority manipulating myself with excuses to not move myself, but to remain the same, stuck in my own fear hiding within a beLIEf system of self immortality and self-interest where I continue to argue for my own limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on an imaginary picture of myself within my mind where I physically remain looking the same within the idea of myself as being ‘pretty as a picture’, and completely unaware of my physical behavioral movements and the reactions within myself as my mind participation and the damaging effects I am manifesting unto my physical body and physical world/reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the inner me is that which manifests the outer me as this world within which we experience ourself, thus, when I participate in back chat and/or an internal conversation of: ‘I’m too old for this’, that what I am really doing is reacting within and as an enery of anger, therefore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that how I am experiencing myself is unique and that I am alone having to give up something special of myself and within that I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that the inner conflict that exists within me is the inner conflict that exist within all other beings as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to others within my world within a feeling of ‘importance’ where within that I don’t realize that such a reaction is actually towards a projection of an image/picture that exists within my mind reaching for greatness – thus, is Not in fact a real expression of me as who I am in/as my own process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest pain within and as me as my physical body within and as the back chat of: ‘I’m too old for this’ where I become physically stiff with my chest protruding out standing with a force that does nothing but enforce an energy of resistance, of self-sabotage and denial of self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the consequence of defining who I am within the back chat of ‘I’m too old for this’ is that in doing so I’m walking my process for an individual want, need and desire and not really changing myself, only seeking to fulfill my own self-fulfilling prophecy therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within something that has become very automatic and convenient to keep myself deliberately in a state of self-controlled manipulation.

I commit myself to STOP this pattern of self-controlled manipulation because I know what to do to start changing, to start expanding and letting go of who I have accepted and allowed myself to become and what the consequences are of doing so within myself and thus what I am accepting and allowing to continue as abuse within existence.

I commit myself to slow myself down and walk the self-corrective application of becoming clear in my communication as my words, my vocalization and my physical body movement to/towards others.

I commit myself to further investigating what wants and desires I’m still holding onto and excusing because of self-interest as that which I’ve continued to drag alongside of myself as I’m walking this Journey to Life so as to assist myself to be able to Stand and Direct myself according to what’s best for all.

Day 139: DIY Self-Commitment

For Context Please Read: Day 138: I Don’t Want To Grow Up – –

I commit myself to Stop the fear of aging and the fear of death and I commit myself to prove to myself what I’ve already begun to realize in that, who I am, is determined within every moment of breath.

I commit myself to show that growing up is Not something that should be easy or hard or compromising self in any way, nor is growing up about holding on to things that were, or wondering about what’s to come, instead growing up is about investigating the perceptions within and as our mind that we’ve spent our entire lives in fear of, thus, I commit myself to show that life is not about living like we are dying and then manifesting it as so – NO – Life is a Journey of forgiving and directing ourself in self-honesty in realizing that we do NOT have to fear ourself as our Mind or each other, and, we don’t have to fear getting older and/or hating each other and, we can Stop our fear of dying without having actually known who we are as Life,,,thus, We Breathe, and we Forgive Ourself for who we believed ourselves to be as our Mind of/as CONSCIOUSNESS, and We Direct who we are as Life Living what it is to Give to All as we’d like to Receive.

I commit myself to stop existing within polarity equations of positive/negative, right/wrong, happy/sad and/or pretty/ugly, because I see, realize and understand that in doing so I am actually abdicating myself from life through living in fear of me as my mind as thoughts and through participating in and as them fueling emotions, feelings and fear, therefore, I commit myself to direct me as my mind in self-honesty and through self-corrective application, stop participation of/as thoughts, and instead, Breathe and Walk.

Furthermore, I commit myself to redefine who I am as self-responsibility as I walk breath by breath becoming a living application of responsibility, where through self-forgiveness, I gift myself the ability to consider what life will become when as a GROUP, we come together to support a World according to what’s best for All – to bring an end to fear and the constant struggle to survive within our current world/money system, to thus, together show ourselves how in Giving to all that which we each require as the basic necessities for life, we realize ourselves as living expressions of and as what is to Stand accountable and responsible for and as All living beings.

Do It Your Self-Commitment

JOIN US

Stand Up for and as All Life – Support a World/Money System that will support All Life Equally.

Day 138: I Don’t Want To Grow Up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define aging with ‘growing up’ and accepting myself as someone I’ve never wanted to be because all the grown-ups I’ve ever known who grew older became saggy, scary, grumpy and settled in as being sad, lonely and dying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear growing up, getting old and losing all of my teeth, because within my mind I have believed in the perception that loosing one’s teeth makes a woman ugly, old and undesirable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear growing up because that meant being responsible and the only example of responsibility I was familiar with meant worrying about not having enough money and working oneself to death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I feared growing up because I feared getting old, wrinkly and invisible and undesirable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how according to a picture as a thought within my mind growing old and aging looks like a small toothless woman whose eyes are sad and face is sunken in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within my mind I have defined myself according to a picture presentation of myself looking the same as I did when I was in my twenties.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in my fear of growing old I have spent my life fighting for the right to be happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that life is only about me and my happiness to such a degree that I’ve never considered what Life Really is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I was younger I lived my life according to the energetic high I got off on in how men would react to/toward me, in how I received attention from them and within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am immune to growing old, to aging.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I fear growing old because I fear death of me as my physical body.

to be continued…

Day 101: The Character: ‘I said No’

Today I watched from a distance as a mother was telling her 11 month old child, ‘I said No’, over and over in a very stern tone. I saw within myself how I had a reaction to her which is not surprising because when I was raising my children, I acted as the same. A character as a mother who automatically repeats, ‘No’, and/or ‘I said No’. I am now comprehending how ignorant the whole point of telling our young children ‘No’, really is. That’s not to imply that children don’t require direction so that they don’t get in harms way, however, yelling ‘No’ at children and/or spanking them, I now see is Not the solution. Thus, sharing here the following self-forgiveness.

For further context and understanding, please read the following article and blogs.
Feral girl, 5, found living with a herd of cows can ‘only communicate by mooing’
Sacrificial Love of the Mother: DAY 48
Parenting Building a Child’s Character: DAY 85
Day 107: The Ignorance of Intent

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a mother become the character who ‘automatically’ says ‘No’ to my children without even considering and/or questioning my automated response in the act of saying no.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop and look within myself when I hear myself tell my child No, because if I were to look within myself then I will see that to just automatically say No is to abdicate responsibility to/for/as my child – where I completely miss-take an opportunity to assist them to touch, investigate, question and enjoy who they/we are so as to determine for themselves who they will be within and as a part of this physical world/reality/existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I am a living mirror of my mother as she was hers and as my child will be mine – in how for generation after generation we’ve existed where each child is/has been conditioned through/as their parents mind into and as one’s own mind – thus we are continuing to exist within and as the same memories/characters/personalities/thoughts and physical behaviors/habits and language as those before us to such a degree that we are/have become automated in our raising of our children and, thus have/are forfeiting the very nature of life itself because in doing so, we are voluntarily admitting defeat as a parent – instead of walking as a living example of what it is to be responsible, self-honest, stable and consistent as support for/as the child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to the power of saying No because as a child, in/as my secret mind, exist a memory of how it looked and felt to see the face of my parent when they experienced the power and control of saying no, and thus, I now have an automated program running within me as my secret mind to also experience what I perceive that I must now experience as power and control in/as saying No.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see, realize and understand how I have come be automated to say No to my children within a positive energy experience where I accumulate and manifest myself from the starting point of/as friction/conflict as a negative energy experience and thus within and through the nature and action of me as blame, and within and as spite, I will excuse and justify my actions as I deliberately manipulate my child in order to gain, possess and empower my love onto my child within and as a controlling positive energy experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I say No to my child I am in fact fueling the child’s mind within a negative energetic charge as an experience of the mind in/as curiosity, thus the child will activate their secret mind where they will look for the opportunity to reach for that which they were told Not to, and within that will experience guilt to/toward themselves because they remember they were told Not to touch it, thus, to tell the child no instead of assisting the child in touching and investigating their world, only further enslaves the child to becoming a character within their mind where they then isolate themselves from their physical world/reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system where education is bought and paid for through memories/characters/personalities according to our past and history in/as money/survival, whereas we continue repeating cycles of abuse and neglect in which children of every generation continue to pay the pain forward – instead of standing up and stating what we know as true in that we require to Stop All systems within our world and begin again with a system which functions according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so involved in/as my own mind of seeking, wanting and desiring experiences for myself that I didn’t allow each and every moment of breath with my child to count in assisting them to see for themselves what is acceptable and what is not within and as our physical world/reality/existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a world/money system where parents struggle to put food on the table and within that fail to educate and prepare children to become responsible adults who are willing and able to stand up for and as All living beings as equals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how the role of money and struggling to survive within this world plays a major role in the life of being a parent, because I see how I was always running to get somewhere but in the process I lost my breath and myself where I barely even remember my life with my children when they were small.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put money first above everything including my children, all the while lying to myself that money wasn’t important because I didn’t want to face my responsibility within how our current world/money system exists – I didn’t want to face how I have accepted and allowed myself and all life to live in hell enslaved to a money system where only the few who are rich are free from the constant fear of living paycheck to paycheck where we fear for the future of our children and our own survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within existing in/as memories/characters and personalities of/as acts of automation to/towards children, and my world – have abdicated myself as my physical body and this physical reality – meaning – I have given up my right of/as life because in such automated acts of/as self, I am proving that I don’t care enough to slow myself down and breathe myself here, to actually support myself as all as life – to investigate myself and our current world/money system and therefore support a system where No one suffers, No one starves to death, No one goes to war for the right of land over those who are already living on the land, and No one goes without a home and clean water, thus, I see, realize and understand the common sense in supporting an Equal Money System where I will know for sure that All living beings and our Earth, will be genuinely provided and cared for.

I commit myself to Stop myself as ignorant acts of saying No to children within automated acts of/as memories/characters and personalities, because I see, realize and understand how through breathing, writing and self-forgiveness one is able to correct, realign and redesign themselves, thus is able to assist and support a world/money/education system according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to investigate and forgive the memories/characters of/as my parents mind as consciousness as the memories/characters which are me as my mind and to assist and support myself to show how our world requires an education system where children are able to receive the support required in order to experience life of/as Heaven on Earth.

I commit myself to show how our world requires an education system that will prepare each one of us to become a self-aware, responsible part of the human race that lives a fulfilled and productive life of happiness and fun and, how Equal Money will ensure that everybody will be effectively educated to live in harmony with everything here including, plants, animals and our environment.

I commit myself to assist parents to see for themselves that the word No is actually not even necessary within a world where one is aware of themselves as breath.

I commit myself to show how the only real solution in assisting ourselves is one that will assist All living beings, thus a living solution is that of an Equal Money System which will guarantee life support for All life forms of Life on/as Earth.

I commit myself to support me as my physical body, to comprehend how life here on earth is a living representation of how, who and what exists within the mind physical body of/as the human.

I commit myself to show how who we are as our physical bodies within our physical reality, is all that we can actually trust, thus, in supporting an Equal Money system, we’re supporting life in trusting that which is real, our physical body and our physical reality.

I commit myself to show how we can change the very fabric of our being and thus change our world by simply placing ourself in the shoes of others.

**A MUST READ: Day 35: Equal Money will Save the World**

Day 96: I Commit Myself

Self-Commitment Statements for the following blogs:
Day 94: Establishing a Relationship – –
Day 95: Flesh – –


I commit myself to stop fearing pain within and as my physical body as I see, realize and understand that pain is here as me to assist me.

I commit myself to breathe through the resistance I’ve accepted and allowed to/towards the very existence of myself as my physical body.

I commit myself to breathe through the resistance I have to acknowledging the realness of myself as the flesh of me as my physical body.

I commit myself to embracing me as my physical body in/as self-intimacy.

I commit myself to stop the separation of me as my physical body as that which has been missing through how and what I’ve accepted and allowed of/as our world system of money through and as the mind of/as consciousness.

I commit myself to comprehending how pain in and as my physical body is here to support me in forgiving and releasing me from/as the memories/characters/personalities I’ve played from the inside out as who I’ve been, thus, to take self-responsibility for the creation of me from within myself to my outside self as our world/reality/existence.

I commit myself to investigating and communicating with me as my physical body where I am able to, in one moment of breath, see, realize and understand the exact assistance I require in order to support the physicality of who I am within and as my physical body and our physical reality.

I commit myself to stop myself as my mind from participating in and as emotions and feelings as internal reactions, to thus then stop manifesting and creating damage unto me as my physical body and our physical world/reality/existence.

I commit myself to walking this Journey to Life process in realizing that changing one thought and/or one personality of/as me as my mind as a consciousness system will not change me as my entire mind consciousness system, because, I see, realize and understand that in order to have effective real physical change requires self-commitment of consistent daily walking of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application in order to change the entirety of my mind as a consciousness system in relation to my physical body within this physical world/reality/existence.

I commit myself to stop generating energy from within myself fueling the relationship between the mind and the physical – such as through believing in and participating in love/hate in/as feelings and emotions – thus, compromising my relationship to/as me as my physical body and our physical existence as a whole.

I commit myself to see, realize, understand and therefore show how the only way we’re going to actually change this earth, ourselves, our relationships and stop the direction of/as consciousness is through consistency within self-application as a substantial directive movement in manifesting individual standing within our mind-physical relationship every single day.

I commit myself to prepare myself to physically and mentally have the patience, the will, the courage and directive principle and absolute trust to stand as whatever point and decision is necessary to walk as the change required within and as our world/money system into alignment with the physical existence and humanity as a whole in coming together as a group to manifest a World according to what’s best for All.

(Please read Heaven’s Blog with regards to: Quantum Consciousness Programming in Childhood – Part 1: Day 99 and Quantum Consciousness Programming in Childhood – Part 2: Day 100)

(Please read Creation’s Blog: Day 74: Stopping the MIND IN THE FLESH – Part 1 and Day 76: Stopping the Mind in the Flesh – Part 2)