I walked into the small local store to get me a soda and I overheard the familiar woman behind the counter saying to someone on the telephone how she was barely able to speak about it. Her voice was one of drudgery and despair. As I sat my soda on the counter in front of her to pay, she quickly told the person on the phone she had to hang up to wait on a customer. When she turned and faced me, I saw her eyes were swollen red from crying and she looked as if she had just been talking to death. I was 8, and reflecting back, I would describe her overall physical expression was that of subordination.
I stared intensely into her eyes wondering what was wrong with her when in walked an older man who had the same physical expression as the woman. He practically yelled, as he asked her if she had heard what happened to Sean, and she immediately burst into tears. When I heard the name Sean my mind began to race. My heart beat increased and I could barely breathe. Were they talking about the Sean that I knew? I stood in silence lost in my mind of thoughts and fear swelled in my throat as I began to feel as if I had just shrunken quietly into a darkened dungeon of terror.
I knew a kid named Sean who I sat and talked with a couple of times every week when I came into the store. In passing, we would laugh about simple stuff and I really liked how funny he was. He was 11, he told stories about how his granddad let him earn a little money of his own using his tractor mower and how proud his granddad was of him that he wasn’t afraid to ‘earn his keep’. In a matter of moments, as they continued to talk, it was evident that it was the Sean that I knew. The older man said, how he just couldn’t understand how Sean had fallen off the seat of that old tractor and became pinned under it while it was moving and subsequently, Sean’s chest was crushed. He was found dead in the pasture hours later when he was noticed as being late arriving home. It was then that I ran out of the store and continued to run down the road toward my house.
Finally, I just stopped. I stopped running. I breathed. I stood there and looked at how I was shaking from within my physical body. I was sobbing. I was scared. My mind was racing so fast in fear that I was dizzy. But, my thoughts were not about Sean. They were about me, fearing the death of me! How would I die? When would I die? I couldn’t hardly breathe! I started walking slowly toward home and my physical body was heavy. Then I realized something, I had become as the woman and the man in the store. I became drudgery and despair. I was in willful subordination against my physical body and life itself. I became swelled in and as death as I accepted it unto my physical body as me.
I didn’t understand then the destructive nature of my fears as I participated in the thoughts that were charging in on me as feelings and emotions of energy – where a self-dependency of domination was thriving to keep me locked within a system of submissiveness. One of self-destruction which accumulates in and as damaging affects at a cellular level within and as and against my physical body. And once I was lost in the accepted pattern of fear, I didn’t even consider Sean, or anyone else for that matter. I didn’t consider what would have been best for all. I didn’t consider what may have prevented his suffering and that of all who suffer. Considering all, is not possible in fear according to the direction of our mind.
How is it, that an 11 years old boy loses his life attempting to ‘earn his keep’ within our corrupt money system? I never once heard anyone ask that question. And it’s a question worth answering because the answer is one that we accept and allow that keeps us all bound here unto and as death.
Where we’re only affected by loss of life for a moment until fear and death becomes us, and then we don’t give a damn about anyone else.
Sean was so proud of earning money to assist his granddad, and he strived for the attention he received for doing so, and it cost him his life. Maybe Sean would still be alive today if we had had an Equal Money System that provided for all Life – from Birth ’til Death…
This is another example of why I am grateful for ‘Desteni I Process’.
The lessons and tools: assist me to identify, deconstruct, forgive and
release the mind constructs which I’ve created and have existed as within self-limitation, self-deception, and lack of self-direction, all of which lock me into and as a Mind Consciousness System.
It’s simple: ‘Desteni I Process’, if applied effectively, will assist in saving lives as it will assist humanity to each one become Self-Directed, Self-Willed, Self-Responsible, Self-Honest and Stable. Standing according to and as The Principle of Equality in support of all living beings.
Live Like You Were Dying – Cause we are…
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Consider what is best for all and everyone here as you as we first forgive ourself to see there was never anyone else to forgive.
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