Tag Archive | hunger strike

Day 234: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – may we not be found wanting/desiring – Day 19

For Context Read: Day 233: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Surviving Normal & Desteni – Day 18

“May we not be found wanting/desiring.” Bernard Poolman

I read that quote by Bernard for the first time some 4 years ago or so and today it assisted me to remember to breathe…It’s been raining all day which is great because we need the rain. The problem is the constant sound of the slow rain began to activate a memory of myself sitting in front of the t.v., watching a romantic comedy on the t.v., and eating my favorite comfort food. Before I know it I processed that memory into thinking and imagining myself eating a big bowl of mac and cheese or a big slice of chocolate cake.

(Suggest to Read for Claritly: Being able to Stop Thoughts – proves that both ‘who I am’ and Thought itself is Illusion: DAY 377)


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to, and long for a relationship to food to provide an energetic experience for my mind defined as comfort.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to abuse my physical body by ingesting certain foods that create a chemical feeling experience of happiness.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to depend upon the positive energy experience from eating sugar and chocolate and coffee to stimulate and motivate me to move myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn to food for a relationship as a replacement to having a relationship / self-intimacy with who I am as my physical body.

It’s crazy how strong the desire within me is to just give in and allow myself to eat anything and everything that I want. But I mean, then what? What I know is that I’ve done that a million times in my life so I already know that nothing is ever as great as the idea of it within our mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the memory of myself sitting at home on a rainy day watching feel good movies and eating as a way of comforting myself to avoid facing who I am within the fear and hollowness of longing.

So, how come I keep taking the bait so to speak? How come I keep giving in to the temptation to participate in the thoughts about eating dead food when I know full well that I will Not give in and eat that which will harm my physical body/ process of healing?

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to ingest foods according to my own personal interests/opinions and fears as a brainwashed consumer.

Following the Metabolic Diet and eating absolutely no cooked / processed foods is part of the alternative treatment plan that I have chosen to assist my body to dissolve the cancer safely and successfully, so following it to a T is imperative. In my case, it may mean the difference in life or death.

Recently I’ve been investigating who I am with regards to my experience with ‘longing’. The longing to be loved is usually what one might think of when looking at their experience with longing, but for me in this moment my lack of the ability to carry on my relationship to the foods I’ve used for comfort is in immediate need for attention.

It seems like I’ve always longed for something or someone. And the thing about it, even when I got what or who I was longing for, it was never as wonderful as I imagined it would be. Mostly my experience with longing has been one where it’s as if I’m supposed to hold onto something or someone and never let go.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for my future without something to look forward to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reach for something to put into my mouth as a way to pacify and manipulate myself to the point where I settle into my own little world within my mind and the hell with everybody else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid taking self-responsibility for the horrors that occur daily within our world/money system because to acknowledge them would mean admitting that I to am responsible for accepting and allowing them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define something and/or someone as that which I have a relationship with as being important, valuable and precious because I see, realize and understand that within that exist fear of loss, fear of losing my relationships and definitions which has been the very structure of my existence and that which I fear giving up.

When and as I see myself ignoring and/or distracting myself with a memory of my past behaviors on a rainy day I Stop. I Breathe. I see, realize and understand that this is a point that I’ve always avoided which is actually just a point of being ok here with myself, breathing.

When and as I see myself defining something and/or someone that I have a relationship with as  important, valuable and precious, I stop. I Breathe.

I commit myself to stop giving myself excuses, reasons and justifications such as: I still want to do that, I still want to have that, I must still experience this, I must still have that, etc.

Alright, I will continue to investigate this point.


“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that Consumerism and the Way of Influence is Based on the Right of the Consumer to Refuse the Product, yet with the Will Power of the Consumer Influenced, the Profiteer happily transfers Responsibility to the Consumers, always Not with all the Information, but with Enough to Influence the Will of the Consumer. This subtle Brainwash Makes all Humans thusly Influenced without Morals and Not Worthy of Trust – as the Consumers, as Product of Consumerism, will Never Act in the Interest of Life and will in fact see Life as a Threat to their Happiness and Happily Sell their SOULD for just a bit of Happiness.” Bernard Poolman

“I commit myself to show that all Abuse on Earth is a Matter of Deliberate Will and that this Deliberateness Accumulates through small allowances to Eventually Look Like Circumstances, while the Outcome was Always Measurable from the beginning. Advertising that molds Will to Brand Loyalty for Instance, uses the Small Measures to Get the Eventual Controlled outcome for Profit and in Part of the Design of individual Will utilized to Shape the will of Man in Consumerism.” Bernard Poolman


Day 233: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Surviving Normal & Desteni – Day 18

For a few days now I’ve wrestled with a thought / backchat within my head saying: ‘I just want to feel normal’. I stopped it when I became aware of it in the beginning. When it came back, I mocked it within myself, so basically, I was mocking myself… Making fun of the thought, making fun of myself. This is how me as my mind as consciousness has become as I’ve continued to give the thought ‘I just want to feel normal’ the key to my peace of mind by participating in and as automated actions/patterns of myself,  even as I became aware of them.

I mean, that’s pretty much how I’ve always existed.  In fear,  surviving normal. Within that always longing for that feeling/experience like falling in love or falling into another addictive behavior, but either way, normal becomes comfortable and routine.  Basically, we get up in the morning, take a shower, eat, go to work, go to lunch, go back to work, blah, blah, blah, go home, watch tv, go to bed, get up the next day and repeat…You get the picture. Just tow the line and follow the rules of our current world/money system so we can stop fearing for our very survival and get to  ‘feeling normal’.

The problem is, that which has been normal, has been a LIE.  Our idea of normal is motivated by fear and self-interest.  And when that moment comes, when you must investigate who you are because you realize you are brainwashed and automated and then you realize you feel strangely comfortable about being so.

It seems odd to find comfort hidden within that which we fear and yet we do.  So, we just keep doing the same thing day in and day out because we believe we have to to survive, and within my mind, I’ve imagined so much more for myself, but I could never move myself to a point of actual real self change.

So, what I’ve realized is with my diagnosis of cancer, I’ve had to become very strict with my eating and now I’m realizing just how much I’ve used food to give myself comfort and a feeling of normal.  So in a way it’s as if I’m longing / searching for some sort of way to feel better as a way to replace the relationship and socializing I once had with food.    Once in awhile the desire/urge/energetic longing to taste a warm cooked meal becomes so overwhelming until I realize that all I have to do is to Stop and to Breathe.   Participating in my past as memories seems to diminish the desire/longing and gives me the illusion of feeling normal and comforted even if it is a lie…

Then yesterday, I heard: Awakening to Purpose by Bernard Poolman.

Equal Money and WomenHearing it reminded me of when my normal began to change, which was when I discovered Desteni. I use the word ‘discovered’ on purpose because the ‘Desteni Material’, is like a Treasure trove of Rare ArtiFACTS.

Reading the Desteni Material, I immediately became aware of how the Principle of Equality would forever rock the hell out of my idea of ‘normal’.

For the first time in my life, I began to realize just how ‘brainwashed’ I really am. In that moment, I didn’t know what all I would uncover about myself within those rare artiFacts, but as I began to apply the tools of self-forgiveness and self-honesty, I noticed something unexpected in the releasing of fears.

I was able to prove to/for myself that I Can change and redesign myself and within that become aware of how and what I’ve accepted and allowed to exist within this world.  And once I’ve begun to see that for myself, then I’ve been able to take self-responsibility to learn how to Give as I’d like to receive.  This means supporting a system that will guarantee the support of Life according to what’s Best for All,  and, will bring an end to suffering on a Global scale.  How can any one of us accept our idea’s and comforts of ‘normal’ when ‘normal’ has never brought an end to suffering?

So, there’s normal, as how normal has always beed defined according to how we’ve existed, where we’re constantly trying to survive our accepted and allowed version of normal within our abusive world/money system, and then, there’s Desteni.

Desteni is the Rock, the Place where Practicality meets Solutions and Creates a World according to what’s best for All.

Alright so what I’ve realized is, the thought:  ‘I just want to feel normal’, is an amazing tool for me to gauge/see what I am currently choosing to accept and allow. And, what I see, realize and understand is that this thought/backchat is merely a trigger from my past and a reminder that I don’t have to run away in fear of the Beast as Cancer.  That in order to bring myself full circle to a point where I understand how I manifested Cancer within and as my physical body in the first place, is going to require an awakening to purpose beginning with a re-committment to myself to Breathe and remain consistent and stable.

I mean, it was just over a year ago that I made a committment to walk this my Journey to Life, to blog/write, and to within that, Face All of me. To understand and assist myself to Forgive and Release who I am as a Slave to/as my mind.   To redesign myself, and to forever Stand in Full Support of Life, through supporting an Equal Money System.

I can no longer deny the truth. That Life, within our current Money System, is Cruel, and Deadly. And, I am no longer willing to accept this as the kind of world we offer to the children who continue to be born here.

I re-commit myself to my process of walking/daily blogging my Journey to Life,  to take Self-responsibility for who I am as my thoughts, feelings and emotions/reactions and to forgive, release and redesign myself according to and as all as one as equal.

Because, what’s considered ‘normal’ within our world, is Starvation, Poverty, Profit over loss of life, and that, is unacceptable.

I commit myself to redefine who I am as ‘normal’ through becoming a living example of supporting Life according to what’s Best for All.

Alright then, much for me to investigate.  I will continue in my next blog…


“There cannot be a greater life after this one because this one is creating the next – you cannot be that stupid to believe that from here will flow something better. You move from here to face consequence, so from here at death things gets worse, much worse, because you have to face what you have allowed. We suggest you do it, face it right here. You die in fact alive in the physical through self-forgiveness taking yourself to nothingness where you stop what you’ve allowed. Where you then emerge like you did as a child from the womb, from this darkness, this nothingness, and it’s not to fear because you did come from it.” Bernard Poolman


Recommed Watching: Awakening to Purpose

Day 232: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Angelina Jolie’s double mastectomy – Day 17

Angelina Jolie’s double mastectomy is the buzz on the internet today. Some say she’s heroic, other’s are asking how heroic is it when one has the money to buy a network of the finest surgeons. Personally, I see her decision as a common one amongst those who, like her, have the Money to afford such an option.
angelina jolie
The truth is, having both breasts, or any member of one’s physical body removed, would have to be a completely horrifying experience. In my case, removal of both my breasts was suggested, but, having read years of research and cancer statistics, I was surprised to learn that there have been reports of an actual 4% increase in survival rate among those with cancer who went untreated.

We refer to the miracle of preventative medicine instead of pointing out the obvious truth about preventative medicine which is that there is No preventative medicine unless one has Alot of Money to purchase it.

And, actually, that’s all that preventative medicine is. It’s a Money-making machine that most of us only get to nibble on. So, what is so Heroic about being able to afford such an opportunity?

Dr. Hardin B. Jones, Ph.D., professor of medical physics and physiology at the University of California at Berkeley, and a recognized authority on cancer demography summarized the point this way:

“It is utter nonsense to claim that catching cancer symptoms early enough will increase the patient’s chances of survival. Not one medical scientist or study has proven that in any way. My studies have proved conclusively that untreated cancer victims actually live up to four times longer than treated individuals.”

So, from my perspective, I don’t see Angelina’s decision as heroic, but I do agree that there’s much from her story that we can learn from. We can take this opportunity to ask some important questions. Like how come only those who are able to afford the luxury of a $3000 cancer gene test get the chance to do so while the majority of us never will? And, how come we not only support these rich people to continue to afford such luxuries, but, how come we also refer to them as being a hero for being able to do so?

The fact still remains that there is more to cancer than the ‘cancer establishment’ and our ‘healthcare system’ would like us to acknowledge. One only have to educate themselves a little to be able to grasp the level of deception that exists therein.

Still, lung, stomach, liver, colon and breast cancer cause the most cancer deaths each year – which makes for a money-making business that cannot be denied..  We must ask ourselves how it is that we’ve been so completely brainwashed by the Healthcare Industry and the Pharmaceutical Industries, that we’ve willingly accepted traditional orthodox treatment – for many different reasons, but the biggest reason being that of Money, Profit and Greed.

We only have to follow the money trail to see who’s in charge and actually making our decisions for us. The insurance company will pay for our treatment with the approval of our healthcare provider.  I mean, what the hell!  We don’t really have a choice except the choice we’re given.   And more than not, we make our decisions to accept orthodox treatment because we scared as hell and we find comfort in following the patterns/choices of those who’ve gone before us, even if that choice, in the end, failed them.

I suggest we stop and reconsider the research and the findings about cancer and stop being so willing to walk the line because as history is proving, orthodox treatments are causing our physical body more harm than good.

And, let’s stop referring to people as being our hero, simply because they happen to have the money to afford that which very few can.

Let’s agree on a Solution that will be life-supportive for Everybody. Then, we won’t need to seek for hero’s,  because Life itself will be honored through our Giving as we would like to Receive.

Books to Read and Video’s to see about Cancer:

A World Without Cancer

One Answer to Cancer

Laetrile Case Histories


Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Day 231: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – First do No harm – Day 16

It is suggested that every fourth day the Cancer Patient rub oil from head to toe, sit in a hot tub of water for 15 minutes, and then crawl in bed, cover yourself up with tons of covers and sweat for an hour to release toxins. When I first did it, God I hated it. Mostly because I didn’t like laying in bed sweating for the hour. I felt the same about my two daily baths in the beginning. I take a really hot bath in the morning with a cup of apple cider vinegar added to the water, which aids in leveling one’s PH balance… In late afternoon, I take another really hot bath this time with Epsom salt. It seems odd to think that my mind as consciousness didn’t enjoy soaking in a hot tub of water a couple of times a day but every day the first 2 weeks bath time came with much resistance. Now, I absolutely enjoy them.

Since the biggest part of my treatment is about detoxing, it’s important to remain consistent and keep it simple through remaining within the guidelines of the metabolic diet. The results are that I’m slowly dissolving the lump/cancer from my physical body. (Please remember that this is my treatment plan and in no way is meant to be considered as a cure and/or a miracle of some kind.)

Some people may not realize that when a person has Chemotherapy and Radiation, the reason they become sick is because their body becomes toxic. Which is why detoxing for them is also very important but the Cancer Patient on Chemo or Radiation may not be aware of what is happening to their physical body during the process they’ve embarked upon.

Chemo and Radiation is Not and will Not ever be a solution for me partly because of the particular type of cancer that I have and also, because having investigated and researched the traditional orthodox treatments, I’ve definitely concluded that it doesn’t make sense for something to be considered a Solution when that something kills everything it comes into contact with – chemo poisons and radiation burns the Physical body as well as destroys all types of healthy cells in an attempt to kill the cancer cells.

Artwork by: Damian Ledesma
EqualLifefoundationIt makes sense to me that the treatment plan must ‘first do no harm’ to the physical body in anyway whatsoever .. The treatment plan for the Cancer Patient must provide the utmost care that one can give to self and respect must be given in protecting the physical body from any further damage no matter what. That is not so easy because to remove one’s favorite foods and the removal of their place in society as the food requires a dedication to self that one cannot typically prepare for.

I mean, what I’m realizing is that it’s the simplest physical actions of my treatment plan that’s assisting me with stability with a glimpse of self-intimacy, where I’m actually beginning to have a relationship with who I am as my physical body – instead of judging my body through mind/thought participation… It’s a difficult thing to admit about myself. Seeing myself beneath the shame of realizing that I’ve never had that – never had an intimate relationship with me as my physical body. The kind of relationship where I take responsibility for everything going in and coming out both within my mind/physical body/reality.

Another interesting thing is that keeping it simple means keeping to foods that are raw and fresh according to what grows here naturally on Earth, like nuts, seeds, fruits and vegetables. And, did you know a simple warm cup of water with fresh squeezed lemon juice is the very thing to assist the kidneys to flush toxins?

It’s interesting that Nature’s defense against cancer is not only the pancreatic enzyme’s and vitamin B-17 therapy but there’s also a group of Doctor’s in Europe that have reported that hyperthermy – which is a deliberate raising of the patient’s body temperature – that hyperthermy has increased the effectiveness of the vitamin therapy so greatly that when the body temperature is raised from it’s normal 37 degrees to 41 degrees Celsius or 98.6 to 105.8 degrees Fahrenheit, that there is a gain in effect from 3 to 10 fold.

So in other words, at the higher temperature it takes only 1/3 to 1/10 as much B-17 to achieve a given anti-cancer effect. So, it’s possible that the formative function of the cancer cell is impaired by the increase oxygenation and circulation that’s associated with having a fever. So the Solution to Disease/Cancer is definitely in keeping it simple through a means of appropriate nutrition rather than drugs.

I mean just over 5 years ago, I didn’t worry about the strain I caused within my physical body every time I popped a pill. Today that memory came forth as I was soaking in my last bath. I became aware of how my secret mind was looking for/to the memory of me popping a pain pill for comfort. Instead I breathed, and I realize that I’ve never ever felt so comfortable within and as my physical body.  It’s like I’m beginning to understand the meaning of taking responsibility for oneself.  I’m beginning to enjoy who I am as my Physical body and the fact is, Everyone should have the same opportunity that I have.

I’m able to get up every morning and do what I have to do to prepare my daily nutrition schedule – which is not cheap by the way.  I’m also able to take walks to slowly strengthen my physical body and I am amazed at how when you’re making decisions based on whether or not you’ll be here a year from now – and you know your life depends upon nutritional success – you know you have to remain aware to forgive and stop automated behaviors.

The Cancer Patient cannot afford any added waste of any kind. And, I mean who of us can  afford to waste one more minute in our delusions of grandeur? How come we won’t see how we’ve placed ourselves within our current money system – that is constantly supported through the use of orthodox medicine?   We can all dance around the subject but most of us get that something isn’t right with how our current world/money systems are established and exist as.  We see how corrupt things are and how they move within our world. How the rich are only rich because the poor are poor.

Because Money after all, makes the world go round.. But, why should the establishment/system/government/pharmaceutical industries/the AMA, etc, why should they be able to profit from illness and death? Why? Because we allow them to. Why do we continue to accept these destroyer of life treatment plans to continue to receive our support for their control over our society/world/reality?

The System is abusive and ineffective. How do we know that? Because what we’re offering in the way of treatment for the ill – because of profit – are radiation and chemotherapy, deadly drugs, killers of life.

Nutrition is the Solution rather than drugs within the Principle of ‘First do no harm’.. To realize that we require an organization like the Equal Life Foundation to see to it that these things are taken care of according to what’s best for all – where we don’t continue down a road where people are being burned and poisoned just so the fat cats can continue their extravagant lifestyles.

What kind of system is that? An Abusive one that is for sure.   Please, Investigate The Equal Life Foundation

Please Read: Day 362: Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation

Alright so here a bit more clarity with regards to the process I’m walking.  More soon


Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Day 230: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – A Woman of War – Day 15

Today, it was as if time kind of stopped as I came to terms with stopping a pattern I’ve recently become strangely aware of myself as.

I guess the truth that I don’t want to speak of is how I’ve become like ‘a woman of war’, that war being the war I’ve waged against the cancer within me… And, I realize I’m no longer willing to continue the war because it’s Not necessary in order to recover.

A Woman of War @ Eqafe

a woman of warFrom the moment I was diagnosed with cancer I’ve been researching and researching and educating myself about the many different kinds of alternative treatments for cancer. So, when I decided on which treatment plan I would be applying, I quickly dove right in, knowing full well that the sooner I move to set my plan of action into motion, the sooner I’ll be on the road to recovery. That was well over a month ago and now I have a well established daily routine that is designed in full support of my physical body first and foremost…

I knew in the beginning that following the strict metabolic diet would be a challenge as well as would taking the massive amounts of daily enzymes, vitamins/minerals, daily injections and daily enemas. All of which is going to require some getting used to and the most effective way to redesign my days accordingly, to be most effective, is to be consistent.

And, with regards to consistency, ‘Blogging’, that’s where I began to understand the Principle of Consistency. The kind of consistency I’m referring to is like nothing I’d ever been before, and I discovered this for myself as I began applying the tools offered through Desteni I Process – which is a life-changing course that everyone will benefit from.

Those very tools assisted me today to’stop and smell the roses’ so to speak… To see, realize and understand that fighting my way through this is Not the solution because the fight I’m referring to has existed from the fear within and as my mind of dying. So, am I actually only fighting for my own right to die???

Ok, so, what in the world am I fighting for? Am I fighting for my right to react or my right to exist? And what about EVERYONE else? Is any of what I’m fighting for going to make one bit of difference in the lives of everyone else on earth or just a difference for me?

At what point do I Stop fighting for what I’d like to receive and instead Begin Giving what I’d like to receive?

Alright that’s all for now as it’s a began a slow rain with a gentle thunder so I’m off to bed to snuggle with my partner.

Support Equal Money – Where Giving ends the fight

Day 229: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Patterns of Survival – Day 14

Today I’m coming to terms with something I’ve realized about myself but have been avoiding facing. How I’ve recently accepted and allowed myself to slip into a sort of depression over my ‘condition’. My condition being Cancer. I’m completely aware of the fact that all I really want to do is curl up in front of the television and zone out even though doing so is no longer enjoyable.  I don’t like to admit that I’ve been struggling… Struggling to Not shut down on myself. Struggling to not feel shame and guilt and anger towards myself for not taking better care of me as my physical body. The truth is, depression, shutting down, self avoidance,  these are ongoing patterns of mine.  It’s how I’ve maintained my many cycles/patterns of survival.

With this Beast as Cancer though, it’s like I’m on unchartered water here because of all the times in my life that I’ve searched for a meaning to Life, for an answer as to why and for who and/or what can I blame this experience of myself?  This time, all I can see is me blaming me.  I guess I’m realizing that this time, I can’t afford to hide within illusions because for me, it’s never been this real – life or death real that is.

Art By: Anna Brix Thomsen
LifeEqualityI mean, I’ve been fortunate. I grew up in a middle class American family who consumed more than we’d likely admit. I never really cared that much about the idea of having to survive in life because I never really understood what it meant to have to actually struggle to survive.

Instead, I’ve spent most all my life dreaming of being special until I finally believed I was. I never cared to notice that within my self interest patterns was my separation from others and how in my separation I was fueling my very own patterns of survival, enslaved to and as my mind as consciousness..

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the victim card as a way of giving myself permission to fear, to justify watching my life in time pass me by/ not taking self responsibility for myself and the world as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must have done something wrong which is why I have cancer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry and blame myself for not taking care of my physical body and thus I must deserve to have cancer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to feelings of depression, to hide from myself as a way of protecting who I am as my mind within and as the fear of dying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become involved in self delusions and self deception by recognizing my fear of cancer as being the excuse to participate as such.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within an incredible capacity to rationalize anything which I see is in support of my immediate self interest.

When and as I see myself withdrawing, where I park myself in front of the television to zone out/ be depressed/ blame and become angry at myself, I stop, I breathe. Instead I see, realize and understand that this is a pattern of depression that me as my mind has become in order to avoid taking self responsibility for who I am and what I have accepted and allowed and I commit myself to push through the resistance of hiding, to instead write and forgive myself for the fear of facing all of me, within and so without.

I commit myself to stop blaming/being angry at myself.

I commit myself to push through the resistance of not wanting to blog.

I commit myself to stop giving in to this particular pattern of self interest, ego and greed.

I commit myself to continue to expose the atrocity of orthodox medicine and it’s treatment of cancer.

I commit myself to life as all as one as equal.

Day 228: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – A Consuming Interest – Day 13

“So, this comes to question: Do we then fear death or is it that death is such a presence within our minds, because we don’t have life. We’re not Living Life, we’re not Expressing Life. Life is not who we are and so we’ve polarized our existence completely for Death to exist in our inner-relationship to our minds, and Life then to exist also in relationship to our Minds. So, it’s like Life and Death is this polarity that is in our Minds: Life being defined according to Money from an external perspective and then Death existing because we do not have our initial pure Life-Essence within ourselves. And, then we fear Death, because we’re not living life and we can’t live life because Money has it, essentially.” Sunette Spies

Reading this in Heaven’s Blog today really hit home with me in terms of what I’m realizing about how for my entire life I’ve existed within the point of fear of death, money, and consuming life instead of living life…

As strange as it may sound, having cancer and facing the fear of death, is assisting me to see the degree in which I’m ridden with self interest and that basically, all I’ve ever existed as is the search for energy, trying to fulfill a want and/or a desire. It makes sense that Life is Not who I’ve been because my life has consisted of and has been defined in relationship to the wants and desires of and as my mind…

I realized this with greater clarity yesterday when my daughter was leaving to go have supper with a friend of hers and I became jealous. I ‘wanted’ to tag along, but the fact that I have cancer and am following the strict metabolic diet meant that I wasn’t able to eat what they would be eating. I mean, this is how our mind consumes us. Because I wanted what I wanted and I was very aware of how I resented my daughter and her friend for being able to have what I can’t have.

It just makes sense that one would stop having such desires – to have certain foods – because what one ‘wants’ is life-threatening for self, but No! The mind as consciousness never considers the abuse it imposes upon our physical body and our physical reality. It is only interested in consuming and having the money to do so…
equalityfor life
The Psychological aspects of cancer have the potential of killing one long before the cancer even have a chance to because the mind wants what the mind wants and it wants to be in control. And, what I’m seeing is that as I continue to remove from my life those things that I’ve been all consumed with, in relation to food/money, such as sugar, processed foods and caffeine for example, me as my mind as consciousness, begins to question ‘what is there to live for’?

This how I’m realizing that my constant wants and desires, to have and partake in the consumer process of purchasing the foods and then consuming the foods, is actually the very thing, the overindulgence that have manifested me with cancer in the first place. This may seem like a harsh reality, but it is the reality of my life at this moment.

The irony that my overindulgence as a consumer has led me as my physical body to have to resort to consuming myself in order to survive cannot be taken likely and absolutely cannot continue if I am to be successful in assisting my physical body to health. It will definitely be an accumulation of remaining consistent with following my nutrition program and taking the required vitamin/supplements.

One of the most important things that has prepared me for this Journey is the consistancy to self that I’ve acquired through blogging here my Journey to Life, and, I remain grateful to the Desteni I Process and the Destonians for their continuted support.  I will continue to investigate this point of consumption through self-forgiveness and will continue to share the details here.

“So within this, we invite you to consider this relationship between life and death within you and how it primarily exist in the mind, where death takes over because we’re not really living. Within Desteni, the Desteni I Process and also the products available on EQAFE, we assist and support with understanding what it means to live and – it may, for example, sound easy with me speaking about it or putting it in this illustration, but it is quite tough, because we have never done it before, we have never really in fact lived.” Sunette Spies

Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Day 227: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – The Cancer Patient – Day 12

I’ve been detoxing myself pretty extensively the last couple of days which is causing me to have some flu like symptoms like achiness, nausea and slight fatigue – all of which are actually quite normal considering the amount of toxins my body is flushing. The metabolic nutrition program that I’m on, was designed for the Cancer Patient, however, anyone and everyone should more than likely follow it. The enzyme and vitamin therapy alone was at first a bit overwhelming as was the ‘idea’ of giving myself a daily enema and, I’m actually beginning to enjoy the daily ritual of skin brushing followed by soaking in a warm bath of Epsom salt. Epsom salt is not only good for achiness but is also a great way of releasing the body of toxins. I am absolutely certain that I have never before given such proper care to my physical body, and, I am committed to continue to Educate myself about how my physical body functions from the inside-out, so that I remain aware of and provide the adequate means of support available to nurse my physical body back to health.

As my mind, I have some resistance. Resistance to the changes in my eating habits – not getting those things that I’ve used as coping mechanisms, such as chocolate, potato chips, coffee and a tall glass of iced tea. Earlier today as I walked from the living room to the kitchen, my body felt so heavy and weak, then I realized that I was participating in a thought of ‘what if I never have another piece of cake’?. Within my mind, the backchat was like questioning, ‘is this how I want to live’?

It’s absurd to realize that this is what it’s come down to. Me as my mind having a temper tantrum simply because sugar and caffeine have No nutritional value.  The thing is, those things are irrelevant, because this IS a matter of Life or Death and Me as my Physical body, very much choose Life.

challenge itI really wasn’t aware of how much the Cancer Patient is subject to. What I’m referring to is the treatment plan that the Cancer Patient is subject to. The cancer patient at first, will more than likely agree to anything just so long as it will save their life.

The problem is, is that, the ‘patient’ within our current healthcare/money system is subject to the ‘rules’ of that system, and the rules apply according to how much Money the Cancer Patient has.

If the Cancer Patient has health insurance, then their treatment is determined according to a certain protocol. In America, the Physicians, the Surgeons, the Nurses, etc, they must All follow the same guidelines and are subject to prosecution if they go against the guidelines already put in place by the AMA and the FDA.

It’s very scary for the Cancer Patient because the chemicals used in their treatment, those treatments can literally kill you. When I share with people that I will not subject my body to chemo and/or radiation, the first thing they say is, ‘well, you will if you have to right’?  No, I won’t.

It surprises me how misinformed people are about chemotherapy, and I suggest that anyone considering chemo should take a moment to educate themselves about it before agreeing to it. There are many different kinds of cancer and chemo treatments, thus, one should understand exactly what chemotherapy will do to their Physical body.

Here’s the thing, Cancer drugs are just another drug for the Pharmaceutical industries to get rich from. The fact remains that the rich get richer when people get cancer and for that reason we should all ask ourselves why we continue to accept and allow it.

(In response to ) “What is the FDA doing? 

“First, it is providing a means whereby key individuals on its payroll are able to obtain both power and wealth through granting special favors to certain politically influential groups that are subject to its regulation.  This activity is similar to the ‘protection racket’ of organized crime: for a price, one can induce FDA administrators to provide ‘protection’ from the FDA itself.

Secondly, as a result of this political favoritism, the FDA has become a primary factor in that formula whereby cartel-oriented companies in the food and drug industry are able to use the police powers of government to harass or destroy their free-market competitors.”  – G. Edward Griffin, World Without Cancer.

Did you know that one course of chemotherapy for breast cancer for instance, can cost about $900 -$15,000. And, if growth factor support is added to lessen the side effects, which is likely, then that increases the one course from $4,000 to more than $30,000 per course administered! I mean to put it simply, the Insurance companies are supporting the Pharmaceutical industries and vice-versa. The Insurance companies and the Pharmaceutical industries, the AMA and the FDA, they don’t actually care about the Cancer Patient, they only care about making a profit. This will Not be accepted in an Equal Money System.

In an Equal Money System, the Cancer Patient will receive individual care to determine one’s treatment, which will include providing everything necessary to maintain and improve one’s physical body/health.

Equal Money will bring an end to All systems that take from Life instead of Giving Life.


“Currently we have a very Bizarre Criminal Justice System. We have one that does Not Protect Basic Human Rights, it Protects Rights like ‘the Ownership of Property’, which Should be a Basic Human Right for Everyone on Earth, but entrench Protection for Only ‘The Few’. ‘The Few’ that Mostly Acquire this Right by Controlling the Free Resources of the Earth and then Engaging Wage-Slaves through the Control of Food and Access to other Basic Human Rights – like Water and a Home; by Controlling that, the Majority of the Humans are Forced into Slave Labor to Produce a Currency called Money with which they then Enchain (which is Chains) and Control the Laws of this World. But, These Laws are In Fact in Violation of Basic Human Rights, it’s in Violation of the Basic Human Right that Each Life is Equal. This ‘Equal before God’ Human Right is even in the American Constitution, yet if you look at its Application – it does Not Empower Everyone in the U.S.A. with the Most Basic Human Rights’ Access to the Right to Life, the Right to Property, the Right to Water, the Right to Education etc. All of this is Controlled by another bizarre thing called: Money, and the Money is Controlled by a Small Minority Instead of it Being Available for Everyone as an Equal Right.” ~ Bernard Poolman

Day 227: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Nutrition & Detoxing Pt 2 – Day 12

Continuing From: Day 226: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Nutrition & Detoxing – Day 11

Due to the specificity of Nancy’s Blog, I’ve found it to be very assisting in detailing The Metabolic Medicine’s Cancer Cure’ diet/regimen.

Thus why I am sharing it here.


For Further Context Read: One Answer to Cancer

nancy's niche

In spite of my advocacy, learning that my Navarro HCG urine titer came in positive felt like a blow to my midsection: there IS something growing somewhere in my body?! But the shock was momentary: I was sub-clinical! And knowing soon enough was good: it meant I was some 2-3 years ahead before the proverbial bump or palpable tumor manifests itself, giving me this chance to stem and control the cancer at its earliest!

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Day 226: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Nutrition & Detoxing – Day 11

For Context Read: Day 224: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Treatment Plan, Let’s Walk – Day 9

“The United States of America has one of the largest medical and healthcare industries in the world, followed by Switzerland and Germany. The USA’s medical industry comprises of more than 750,000 physicians and 5,200 hospitals. USA witnesses approximately 3.8 million inpatient visits and 20 million outpatients visit on a daily basis. Furthermore, the United States of America has the largest workforce, i.e., one in every 11 US residents are employed in the health care business. The Global prescription drug market was $550 billion in the year 2006. Also, the total health care expenditures across the world were $4.5 trillion last year. Of which, US solely account for $ 2.2 trillion, $ 2 trillion in OECD countries and remaining $ 0.3 in other countries of the world. ~ themedica

The general population doesn’t really care about the massive amounts of hormones and chemicals used in the processing of our foods.  Why is that?  The idea’s we have about what’s ‘good’ for us, is nothing more than a malfunction within an obvious abusive Monetary System – which unfortunately supports and keeps the rich/cartels functioning quite well.  Profit is the word we let them use to determine how long we’ll be able to inhabit our Physical Body – because Profit determines who lives and who dies/ who eats and who starves to death.

And,  we’re so pre-occupied with how we ‘look’ on the outside that we fall constantly for the manipulation used to ignore the damage we’re causing from within to without.

Since being diagnosed with Breast Cancer I’ve been studying and have spent many hours researching.  And, I’ve come to realize that I’ve Never been adequately supportive of me as my physical body in any way whatsoever.

art of detoxI mean, changing one’s eating habits – to one that provides Only Nutrional Value for our Physical Body, is a Full Time Job.  This is my 5th day on The Metabolic Medicine’s Cancer Cure’ diet/regimen and detox. Everything I partake in, Everything must provide Nutritional Support.

Yesterday, day 4 of detoxing, my mind was slightly sluggish and I experienced myself as feeling some physical lethargy. I Breathed and gave myself a Foot Massage and almost immediately the Physical & Mental lethargy stopped.

With the Healthcare Industry hauling in the Big Bucks and the Breast Cancer Charities Raising$6 Billion A Year, is it any wonder that most of us have never taken the time to grasp how important a Healthy Nutritional diet is for our Physical Body – how without Proper Nutrition, our Pancreas has to overwork and when that occurs, Cancer is most likely the result.

Before any disease can be cured, the waste products and impurities must be cleansed from the body. The sooner this is done, the sooner the body can begin repairing itself.”~ Dr. William Donald Kelley, D.D.S., M.S.

This should be at the top of every parents to do list as being an example to Children as to how to effectively provide for our Physical Body.  It’s the most important thing to Educate ourself about – our digestive system, the pancreas, the liver, the kidneys and gallbladder.   We’ve got to be willing to understand and comprehend ourself from the inside-out.

My daily eating has changed exponentially. Food has now become The Essential Life sustaining fuel for nourishment purposes only.  So, I’m continuing to educate myself and realizing that I’ve certainly been living a limited idea of myself in how I cared for my Physical Body.  Thus, I intend to spend the rest of this  Life providing the utmost nutrition for my Physical body as I’m able to afford.  It’s to bad that our current money system offers no support for what is obvious, we’ve got to start taking care of our Physical Body – as well as the Physical Bodies that exist within and throughout our Society – because Bad Nutrition is a Global problem. The products that we purchase – that are making people rich – they are killing us as our Physical Body.

Everything is specific, so we’ve got to come together in supporting Equal Money so that we can bring a change within our world.  A Change that is supportive of what’s best for all. With Equal Money, proper Education will be provided for for everyone, so we’ll each one be able to properly provide for our Physical Body.


How to Assist Your Pancreas

“It is not only imperative that the correct kind and quantity of protein be eaten, but of equal importance, it must be taken at a specific time. We have found that regular proteins should be taken at breakfast and lunch only. When this is strictly observed the pancreatic enzymes, used in digestion of protein, are used only about 6 hours. This leaves 18 hours for production of pancreatic enzymes to digest cancer tissue.”.~ Dr. William Donald Kelley, D.D.S., M.S.


My Nutrition Plan


2 eggs a day allowed anytime raw or soft-boiled

“Proper preparation of eggs is of vital importance. The eggs must be heated in the shell. We bring our eggs to a temperature of 140º F. to 160º F. (which is the normal temperature of hot tap water), for five minutes before cracking them. This destroys an enzyme just inside the membrane under the shell that prevents the biotin in the egg from functioning normally. When biotin functions properly, it greatly reduces the cholesterol risks of eating eggs.” Dr. William Donald Kelley, D.D.S., M.S.

Protein & Nuts should be eaten before 1:00pm

Fresh Fruit Salads and Raw Vegetable Salads Only
Vegetable Juices (Fresh and Raw)

10 Apricot kernels/Laetrile

A mixture of raw almonds, cashews, pecans, filberts, Brazil nuts, walnuts, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, and sesame seeds is recommended to supplement protein during the first six months – when meat proteins are severely restricted. These should be eaten any time up to 1:00 p.m. Cashew nuts are desirable, especially if the patient is suffering from hypoglycemia (low blood sugar).

12 Enzyme/Caplets with breakfast
12 Enzyme/Caplets between breakfast and lunch
12 caplets with lunch
12 caplets between lunch and dinner (3:30 p.m.)
12 caplets with dinner
12 caplets at 3:30 a.m.

“The most essential part of resolving the metabolic malfunction of those with pancreatic failure is to get the enzymes to the affiliated areas of deterioration. We must have enough enzymes there to stop any further deterioration of body tissue.” Dr. William Donald Kelley, D.D.S., M.S.


Notes about Physical Changes or Symptoms

Face is Breaking out in 3 areas

Slight nausea, subsided after taking 1 Hydrolic Acid Capsule

Slight onset of headache lasted only about 3 minutes after taking enzymes at lunchtime

That’s pretty much it. That’s the basics of my nutrition plan. I’ll be sharing more as I continue.


Oh, Did you know that Everybody should poop 3 times a day?

It’s cool because my body is assisting me already, meaning, it’s responding already as it should be.  And, self forgiveness and self honesty is my foundation within it all. This is me walking the self-corrective application, to redesign myself from the inside out.

Please Remember! This is My Plan – Not Yours. It’s not a miracle plan or a cure. It’s a solution for me with regards to the kind of cancer that I have. Please Educate yourself and see a Proper Medical Professional before beginning any nutritional program.

More soon,



“This is what is happening in relation to our minds and what we participate within it, in its relationship to the physical body. We are programming the very physical body in ways that is in no way yet even conceived of or understood, because everyone is still only existent in the conscious mind hierarchies. Not even aware of the mind or consciousness relationship in the subconscious, unconscious, quantum-mind, quantum-physical into the very physical body itself. In how thoughts and thought resonance, thought vibration is moving within your beingness within your physical body and recoding, programming and changing the very natural constitution, manifestation, structure and design of your physical body. These changes are minute, but the consequences of them accumulate eventually within and throughout one’s life experience, which then alter and change relationships within the physical body itself and there we get to, for example, the physical weaknesses, disease, illness, sickness. We are going to get into explaining how it is throughout our lifetimes within this physical existence, that the physical body condition had worsened throughout time, both in our mind-physical relationship, the physical in itself and how it responded to the mind, to consciousness, to energy and then obviously our external relationships in relation to nutrition/environment.

The question(s) that has to be considered is: why had we as human race, why hadn’t the physical in itself evolved into absolute perfection? Why has its constitution worsened and dramatically declined throughout the generations? Even within ourselves our beingness, our minds, why had it not evolved to perfection? Why is human nature devolving?” ~ Sunette Spies