Tag Archive | human race

Day 262: A day late and a dollar short

It’s Sunday morning and I’m sitting here enjoying the sites of fresh fallen snow and the aroma of the vegetable broth brewing on the stove (my partner and I started it first thing when we woke up this morning) and also the smell of a roaring fire just outside my window that my partner just got going. All of it, for me, makes for the perfect day.

So, not to sound all ‘scent’imental’, lol, no pun intended, but I’m realizing more and more how life begins when we begin to develop an awareness of our personal responsibility to become accountable for how our world exists. To educate oneself to understand what it takes these days to survive in this world so to be able to enjoy the simplest of things. For example, what does one have to do/be/become in order to have a warm home in which to enjoy the beauty of a fresh fallen snow and cooking one’s favorite meal

Ok so my point is, as I sat enjoying the snow and the aroma’s all around me, a memory was triggered and I saw how my mind took me back to something my mom used to say, she’d say: I’m a day late and a dollar short. I remember how her words captured me within a way where I was unable to rectify her meaning. I didn’t really understand her choice of words but the tone within which she spoke them gave me clarity on how she felt.  I knew she had allowed herself a missed opportunity and was caught inexcusably unprepared for it.  It is only now that I understand the underlying implications and the utmost importance the experience held on as.
day late and a dollar short
The problem is in the value we give to time and money.  How we seem to unknowingly become the trip our mind chooses for us to take and as the human, we willingly give value to our accepted variety of cultures, belief systems, habits and/or addictions.

We secretly believe in feeling as if we’re always a day late and a dollar short,  so it’s like we keep chasing/looking for some sort of fulfillment. Yep, it’s time for us to Stop participating in how consciousness wants to direct us and instead realize that we can Direct ourself.

As Consciousness,  we’ll seek, plan, prepare and organize for a secured life for ourself and our family and in self interest, we forget to value everyone as we ignore the suffering of others.  There’s no longer anywhere to hide.   We understand how deadly our Current Money System is, where even the simplest of pleasures require time and money and the majority of us don’t seem to have enough of either .

When my partner and I go to town it takes a good 45 minutes to an hour to get to the store and another hour to get home.  Time and the Money…  Recently, we spent 128.00 U.S. Dollars for a few veggies, fruits, mushrooms and a package of organic tea!

It’s crazy because the experience of Life in it’s simplest form of day to day survival, has become so expensive that’s it’s not only embarrassing, it’s downright criminal.   I mean seriously, making a living and a life for oneself could be a Journey to Life, to self perfection.

Making a living and a life within a system where everyone is guaranteed a living wage,  where you can learn to depend upon yourself,  whereby becoming responsible and accountable and capable of Stopping what we’ve accepted and allowed.  It is only then that  we’ll begin to share with Everyone all that this physical Earth experience offers for Each one of us.

No one should have to live ‘a day late and a dollar short’ kind of lifestyle.

No one should have to beg for food.

No one should be able to have a home unless Everyone is able to have a home.

No one should be afraid of a hard days work simply because they’re not paid enough to do it.

No one should go to bed hungry.

No one should go to bed cold.

No one should ever suffer because of lack of.

Everyone should be able to determine what their skills are and how they’ll be able to contribute to making a living in this world toward creating  Heaven on Earth as we implement the Simple Law, ‘Give as You would like to Receive’.

I commit myself to direct myself to show that the only chance for Life on Earth to continue will be for the human to come together as a group in agreement in full commitment to each other, to create a World that behaves according to what’s best for All.

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“What makes one life more, or less than any other life? What makes one life any more, or less, worthy than any other life? What gives any one life more, or less, value than another? Why should the end of one life be felt more, or less, keenly than another? Why should the suffering of one life be regarded as more, or less, important than another?” Cerise Poolman, Activist’s Journey to Life

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Day 175: Voice of Influence

continuing here from: Day 171: Voices in my Head! 
Day 172: Belittling Voices
Day 173: Money Hungry Voice of Delusion
Day 174: Is This Really Life? –
Continuing here with self-forgiveness with regards to the characters/personalities that I gave energy to as the voices in my head when my daughter called to ask me if I will stop on my way to her house and pick her up a pack of cigs. What I’ve noticed is resistance in how me as my mind does not want to continue investigating and walking this point through in self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

Thus, I commit myself to continue this process of self-directive principled writing to give back to myself the responsibility of myself and the creation of what we have accepted and allowed as the mind of/as energy according to our world/money system to thus take self-responsibility to stand up together to redesign who we are according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I reacted towards my daughter when she asked me to buy her a pack of cigs – where instead of actually hearing her – I heard the voices in my head – that I didn’t see/realize and understand how they triggered a negative energetic experience from/of my past which is and has always been directly linked to money according to how money was defined by my parents as the personalities that they lived their life as, which I copied/duplicated/imitated and completely gave into as my own internal energetic experience, where I have become an identical personality in how I will fight for my so-called-right to survive within our current world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react not only to the words but to the sound of my daughter’s voice when she asked me to spend money on her, where in that split moment when she asked her question – I pulled back inside myself, as if I had just fallen back in time – where I became the victim of myself as my past as the negative energy experience I believed I had when I was 17, pregnant and needing food and feeling scared, lonely and abolished from my family into a world where I had no clue how to actually take care of myself and within that, I forgive myself for the fact that all I wanted to do in that moment was make someone suffer for the feelings of fear that I experienced which I’d long forgot were still a part of who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold my past against myself and others, where I have locked myself into and as various masks as character and personalities – negative energetic experiences of guilt and displaced anger and positive energetic experiences where I took another’s feelings for granted in order to have a moment for/of myself within a feeling of well being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my parents for who they became and for what they accepted and allowed because of money and trying to survive within this world because I see, realize and understand how easy it is to become preoccupied and separate oneself from the reality of the physical, and how the functioning and the consequences of energy experiences conditions one to not want to see, to not want to believe what one is capable of becoming in and as self-interest and greed.

When and as I see myself in a situation with regards to money, where I am reacting towards others as a negative energetic feeling experience – where I see that I am judging their influence as being the reason for how I’m experiencing myself – I stop, I breathe – instead I direct myself to realize that money is/has been a stronghold, our means of survival and that lashing out and seeking to ‘get one over’ on someone else in order that I might have a positive energy experience of myself is NOT the solution, that the solution requires a coming together of us all as a group, to constitute an agreement amongst us as neighbors, where we no longer allow suffering of any kind to any living being, thus, I see, realize, understand the importance of and thus support an Equal Money System.

I commit myself to walk any and all resistance to change of and as self due to the characters/personalities and fears I have existed as with regards to our current world/money system. I commit myself to breathe and let go of the perception of the need to have and be more than my neighbor.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself within a situation where I’m aware that money is the motivator, I stop, I breathe – to within myself reference this moment here in establishing for myself a point of self-trust. Trust that I will breathe and in self-honesty, I will direct myself to stand/walk and stop any and all relationships of separation within myself/ as my mind, to thus establish who I am from here as I stand up and walk as the solution through living my decision to support life according to what’s best for all – to hereby redesign and transform our world/money system together into one that cherishes the dignity of all living beings.

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Day 174: Is This Really Life?

continuing here from: Day 171: Voices in my Head!
Day 172: Belittling Voices
Day 173: Money Hungry Voice of Delusion
Ok, so, I know for sure that money and the amount that I have of it determines how I experience myself. It determines how I feel about myself and it determines the various personalities I become and the extent of fear that I exist as.

No matter what, I cannot escape the effect that money has on me because I’ve become it. I mean, money is just a piece of paper. It’s me that gives money the power to control me.

I am the Money God nestled snug in rug and comfortable when I have enough of it and when I’m broke or about to be, I become a peddling Money Demon Devil. It’s a hell of a way to exist either way because I’m always existing in self-interest. Always looking out for my own survival. Always existing in fear of not having enough or the fear that I’ll lose what I have.

And always reacting and having energetic experiences that I accept and allow for myself that are either positive and negative. Both of which manifest in through and as every relationship I’ve every had. Whether that be with my partner, my children, my coworkers, my siblings and last but not least, my parents.

When I first started out on my own, it wasn’t unusual for me to have to ask my mom for some money to help buy groceries or put gas in my car. She didn’t make asking her for money easy, and I hated every minute of it because standing before her and asking for money was like standing before God. First she would tell me how broke she was and I never believed it because her idea of broke and my idea of broke were not the same. When I said I was broke it meant that I had Nothing in my bank account. When she said she was broke, I knew for a fact it meant she was down to her last few thousands because when she wasn’t looking, I looked at her checkbook balance.

Money makes you sneaky as a fox and just as manipulative as a hyena. Well, it’s not money per se, it US, it’s how and what we accept as our current money system. It’s who and what characters and personalities we become in our quest to earn money to live out the nonsense we allow.

Finally, after almost an hour of explaining to my mom how important it was that she loan me some money til payday, she would inevitably pull out a couple of $20 dollar bills or a $50 dollar bill out of her handbag and insist that I return her the money the moment that I cashed my check on payday. I remember the voices in my head even now that I had back then as I walked away: “I knew it, I knew she wasn’t broke”, “Why does she lie like that”. You can be sure that my phone was ringing off the wall on payday to make sure I had not forgotten my debt.

I know when my children ask me for money they feel the same way toward me as I felt toward my mom. I mean, I honestly don’t have as much money in my pocket book as my mom had back when I was asking for money. However, I hear my child’s sigh of relief from not breathing the whole time their asking me for money. I remember how that felt and yet, the Power of my God as Money has had the power to control me.

My mom used to say: Sis, we’ve worked hard to have what we have, and you’re going to have to learn to do the same. I remember how crazy that sounded and I would ask myself why in the hell is life supposed to be about working for money!

A couple of days ago, I went to a physical therapy appointment. I was sitting in the waiting room and sitting next to me was a couple who were talking to a woman that was sitting beside them. They were in their middle 70’s and I know that because they said so.

They begin to talk about how once a month they go and do something they’ve never done before, like for instance they just got back from a two week cruise. They said they deserved it because they had not only raised their 2 children but they had also raised one of their 20 grandchildren. They went on to say how they refused to feel bad that they just didn’t have the patience to spend much time with their great grandchildren because ‘they had worked hard their hole lives’ and how now, it was ‘their turn’. It was at that point that I asked them if they were concerned for how their grandchildren and great grandchildren will make it in our world, the way it is within the struggle to survive in our current money system?

Their answer was an astounding NO!  They said: “Hey, we had to work hard for what we have and it won’t hurt them to do the same”. The woman continued with saying how her husband worked the same blue collar job for 45 years by putting one foot in front of the other one day at a time. Sure it was tough she said, but that’s just how life is. They both forced a smile as she grabbed her cane and him his and they both, with great effort, stood up and waddled out of the building.

I no longer buy what the American dream is pushing. I no longer accept that that’s how life is supposed to be because obviously the dream isn’t a dream, it’s real and the majority of us are living and breathing it every single day.  It’s The Story of US – our accepted and allowed enslavement.  Time for a new Story and it’s time to Stand Up and take responsibility for how our world exists and is ruled by money – instead of making ourselves believing we ‘deserve’ this or that.   Life itself  and how we have defined it and lived it deserves redefining according to what’s best for All.

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Day 173: Money Hungry Voice of Delusion

continuing here from: Day 171: Voices in my Head!

Day 172: Belittling Voices

Ok, continuing here to investigate the characters/personalities that I gave energy to as the voices in my head when my daughter called to ask me if I will stop on my way to her house and pick her up a pack of cigs – I can already see the depth of my ego as it flows from the innermost fabric of who I am according to the almighty dollar. Therefore,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize who I become when the mention of money triggers a multitude of personalities within and as my mind, where at the mere mention of money my mind takes a negative energy experience of myself and utilizes energy as a spring board of sorts to catapult myself further into and as my mind further into the depths of who I am as ego – where I slip myself right into and as a suit of authority with green-bac$ positioning all the way with survival secretly on my mind as I reach for a positive feeling experience – while I protect the who I am as ego because I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that nothing I can ever do will ever change who I am – all the while not realizing that in that moment of breath, as I imagined myself having a grandiose experience of authoritative nature, I never noticed the tone of the money hungry voice of delusion in my head, secretly speaking to my daughter’s request first with the words: “you have got to be kidding me” – where instead of actually hearing/seeing/realizing/understanding the fear in the constant state of struggle that exists within the lives of people within our current world/money system – I’m to busy accepting the fear of who I am and sugar coating it within and as who I am as ego, because that’s how I avoid taking self-responsibility for the role that I play within our world which is ravished daily according to the rules of a Capitalistic Money System.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to completely deny how money is my hook, line and sinker,  where according to money and how much or how little I have of it, I will take myself from a negative to a positive experience as hopelessness to powerful all within multiple dimensions of/as delusions in and as my mind – where I secretly allow the voices in my head to direct who I am and what decisions I make because I have never had the courage to face all of me, to see, realize and understand every detail of my being, to direct myself in self-honesty, to change the very nature of who I am to one where the voices in my head stop within the movement of forgiveness as self in and as a practical physical living of/as self, according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the delusional voices in my head that lead me to imagine that when I experience energy whether positive or negative that it must be a real experience that I can call my own – when the fact is my relationship to energy as experience is and has always been on borrowed time,  no different from borrowing moneyin that there will always be a debt to be paid  – where the more we take from the life of others in accepting and allowing pain and suffering, the more in-debt to and as life we become.

When and as I see myself in a situation where one of my children for instance, are asking me for money, and in my head I hear a voice that beats to the tone of sarcasm as my mind enters what seems like warp speed and I barely notice that I am imagining myself as someone who is a voice of authority and power,  because that’s who I make myself believe I am when it comes to money – because that gives me an experience in my mind that I’m in control of my life when in fact I am completely aware that we in fact have No control within our abusive world/money system, a SYSTEM that WE accept and allow, I stop, I breathe – instead I direct myself to see, realize and understand that the rules of our current world/money system are ones that WE have accepted and allowed without considering the fact that WE are constantly setting ourselves up to fail, thus, I commit myself to show how it is I / WE who decide who we are and I commit myself to remain standing until the last tear drop falls and we’ve had enough, where we see, realize and understand and are willing to push ouselves to change the very nature of who we are through self-forgiveness –  to thus become aware of the patterns that bind us, so we can be prepared and willing to re-design ourselves and our current world/money system to one that supports ALL life according to what’s best for all,  to bring an end to the dis-ease of the human psyche, and manifest Heaven on Earth, with the first step being that of Equal Money.

I commit myself to show that the patterns of our mind is the fear that binds us and keeps us in our constant pace to survive and how fear is absolutely Not necessary, that the nature of the human is constantly limited by and through our abusive money system to such an extent that we can’t even meet ourselves coming or going thus time just drags on and on, thus, it’s TIME  to  STOP and SUPPORT EQUAL MONEY.

I commit myself to re-design myself according to what’s best for all in realizing that money does Not have to be the spark that inflames us where we become evil and greedy and irresponsible to those who are without it.

I commit myself to assist ourselves as a humanity to give to ourselves that which all other beings of life comprehend,  the gift of LIFE for each One with Equal Money.

Day 172: Belittling Voices

Continuing here from: Day 171: Voices in my Head!

So, when my daughter called to ask me if I will stop on my way to her house and pick her up a pack of cigs, I immediately reacted within myself and basically thrusted my inner reactions upon my physical world/reality/existence as I projected anger and spite through me as my physical body and all over anyone and everything within the path of me.

I mean, that’s how we are as our mind. It’s quite insane and our relationship to money keeps the insanity going, so much so that we don’t even stop to question why and how come we are what we accept and allow as our mind directing us?

There is definitely something going on here and it’s high time we sit our asses down, breathe and begin to understand why and how it is that we think, feel and act/behave the way we do.  Visit: Desteni I Process Lite and Learn Practical Life Skills Online Free!

Everything we are and every relationship we’ve ever had has been programmed into us, including Money, (Watch: Human Resources: Social Engineering In The 20th Century). So, I’m beginning to understand the seriousness of our life here on Earth.  How the ‘issue of money’ changes, shapes and guides me to the very core of my being. And, I am absolutely no longer willing to accept and allow myself to be the slave of my own mind with money as my living God all the while continuing down the same road paved in my own shit made from my own personal self-interest and greedy nature…

(Watch: Human Resources: Social Engineering In The 20th Century)
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how the very nature of who I am begins within the context of ‘what if‘s and ends within the context of fear of running out of money’, and within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed inner conflict within myself where when my daughter asked me to get her a pack of cigs, I saw myself fighting a losing battle, where within myself I was teetering between a negative reaction/experience  in fear of going without/self-interest, and a positive reactio/experience of wanting to validate myself within an idea of me as super mom/self-interest, all the while within my mind was this image/thought that resembled an expression I saw many times upon my own mother’s face years ago when I would ask her for money and she would respond: ‘it seems like you only come to see me when you need money’, therefore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed money as the force that drives me as my mind in the direction of and as energy experiences as thoughts, internal conversations/backchat and reactions of emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a character who is virtually my mother, meaning in how I move how she moved and I speak and express myself in and as the same fears as she spoke and expressed herself, even down to the point of how she overlooked the fact of how making money and having it, is, was and has always been considered as the most valid of All Human Motivation, in this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a living expression of/as that which my mother suppressed the most as the fear of not being in control of and thus not having enough money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how this energy within me that wants to strike back is in fact a force of energy as money within me as my mind where I become it as I continue to participate and support the multitude of nonsense and constant abuse within and as our current world/money system,  how as I become the energy that moves the voices in my head where I accept and allow myself to belittle people, where I’m spiteful, aggressive and tense towards another to the point of deliberately saying hurtful words at them – which always results in me taking a guilt trip where I try desperately to protect myself from having a negative experience by imagining myself as being ‘better than’- yet my aim to belittle another to make myself feel better within my mind as the get up and go to spark a positive experience for myself by boosting my ego leaves me ‘bitter within’ – while the real issue of self-interest, ego and greed as I have defined myself according to and exist as goes unnoticed and untouched and I remain unable to stand as a point of accountability, self-responsibility and stability for the role that I play in how I manifest, create and support our current world/money system.  I commit myself to stop, to breathe.

When and as I see myself within a situation where one of my children asks me to buy them something and/or to loan them money, I stop, I breathe – I see, realize and understand that this is sore-spot, a point where I have overreacted and accepted and allowed inner conflict over and over – the same as fighting a losing battle where I continue to cover up/veil/camouflage the real issue – which is me facing me as good vs evil/,  the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other – not realizing that the conflict of self splitting self is merely me accepting who I am under the direction of the mind as consciousness which is always motivated in fear, self-interest and greed – thus, I commit myself to take a stand in self-honesty and common sense, to see, realize and understand that this is not about being good/bad and/or right and/or wrong, this is about what is BEST FOR ALL, and that all I can do is what I can do within this moment of breath in self-honesty, thus, if I’m able to assist then so be it – that there is never a cause for putting self-interest before all in the name of survival, profit and/or greed, and that spite and belittling is a bitter form of resistance to/of life itself, which keeps self from taking self-responsibility for what I’ve accepted and allowed within and as our world/reality/existence – that what matters is LIFE according to what’s BEST FOR ALL, therefore, I commit myself to walk in awareness in realizing that when it comes to matters of money, (which is entangled in everything and everyone), I must walk as the directive principle of me in and as diligence, self-accountability,  patience and stability in remaining self-honest and consistent in my application of support of the solution for LIFE as Equal Money.

Day 171: Voices in my Head!


I have some serious issues existing within me when it comes to money. It’s true, not only can I no longer deny it, I’m quite sick of it, literally. Here’s what gets me all riled up. My youngest daughter calls to ask me if I will stop tomorrow on my way to her house and pick her up a pack of cigs because she’s spending her last few dollars on some Tylenol for her daughter who’s suffering from allergies.

So, why did I react in a rather pissy tone of voice and practically hang up on her? Here’s the thing: I’ve not really spoken to her today, only early this morning.  So when she called and I realized her reason for calling was about money, I immediately heard this voice in my head that said: “she only calls when she wants something”, followed by a string like sentence of: “or when she needs something from me which coincidently requires spending and/or loaning her money”. And there is the point!

Money brings out the demonic voices in my head that I have long accepted and allowed as who I am. So much so that I become spiteful, resentful, hateful, stressful and obviously ‘full’ of all kinds of shit.

So, what the hell is really going on within me and why do I react? I already see how my reaction response time is slower than the process that is actually taking place within and as my mind, thus my reaction is so automated that I barely realize that I’ve completely missed the thought/image and imagination dimension as I skip to the beat of backchat and react where I literally become the voices in my head!

Money is the catalyst that accelerates the voices/backchat in my head and the reactions and so much more because I accept and allow it to. I make money my God and when I have money it makes me ‘feel’ like a God over others. It’s a rather sick egotistical trip within the religion of self.

I mean, when I stop and breathe, I realize that I don’t really care a rat’s ass about having to assist my children, however, that is Not what me as my Mind is saying!  Me as my mind is a greedy manipulator and I realize the importance of investigating and understanding how the mind function. Because obviously it’s directing US ALL the f***ing time and it’s time we direct ourself as our mind to see who we can be as a humanity in self-honesty.

I’ve walked the Journey of Life long enough to know that when I react in any way to anyone, I absolutely have to bring the point back to myself. Because how we act and who we become is ALWAYS ONLY ABOUT SELF!

In the blogs to come, I will continue to investigate how money is the tool we use to keep us enslaved to and as our mind as consciousness and thus enslaved to an abusive world/money system.

Day 142: Healing the Rite of Passage

Dental appointments, pain, pain medication, and worrying about money has taught me quite a bit about myself these past couple of weeks. Another week and I’ll be through with dental appointments for awhile. One thing for sure that I’ve missed is daily blogging and, I’ve realized just how assisting the daily Journey to Life blogging is. I’ve become more aware of how when I don’t blog daily, I want to wander around in my mind participating in and as my thoughts – which are actually self-interest driven desires and fear… Through self-forgiveness I realize I’ve had enough and I stop and breathe and realize something amazing. I become aware of how beautifully supportive my physical body is in that even while I’m sucking the life out of myself through participating in and as my mind, me as my physical body is busy healing me for me to see who I am as it and to stop abusing myself to death, and I am grateful.  Walking here self-forgiveness for my most recent mind/thought and fear patterns…


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I participate in and as thoughts I begin to experience myself as ‘feeling’ overwhelmed and disappointed with emotional wind gusts where inside my mind I fear myself as I fall victim to energetic outflows and separate myself from myself, and I forgive myself that I lose all touch with my senses as who I am as me as my physical body and I begin to believe that I’m ‘depressed’ when in fact I’m only reacting in separation to/of the very thoughts, feelings and/or emotions/reactions that I’ve given power to through the very act of participating in and as them in allowing my mind as consciousness to direct who I am as I try and make myself believe that I am having an ‘experience’ of myself as living as life, when in fact the energetic experience/outflow is an act of allowing death to me as my phsical body, instead of directing myself as who I really am as life equal to and one with absolutely Everything and All Living beings here.

I commit myself to stop participating in and as thoughts, feelings and emotions/reactions creating fear in and as me as my physical body and to instead commit myself to breathe and realize that here within and as me as my physical body within this physical earth reality I have the will in self-honesty to direct who I am as life in supporting myself to support a world/money system supportive of all living beings according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within thoughts of/as my secret mind I become a stranger in possession of/as who I am as my physical body because when I participate in/as thoughts, feelings and emotions/reactions I don’t see, realize and understand the consequences of how as such I am literally sucking the life out of me as my physical body.

I commit myself to support me as my physical body within the healing process of and as self-honesty, because I see, realize and understand that my physical body is constantly showing me how healing begins within every breath, thus, I commit myself to walking the healing process of myself by stopping me as my mind as consciousness, and directing me as life from and as my physical body to thus support a World according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear missing out on an experience of myself as/on energy, where it’s like I’m in a rerun of myself, whereas in my mind as consciousness, I’m still trying to run a race for/to have something and/or to be something that was and is never real, yet, one in which I believed myself as needing in order to face myself as my mind within and as a belief/fear of which I succumbed to/as of growing old and aging.

I commit myself to stop the fear of growing old and aging, to breathe, and realize myself in walking the seemingly small steps in supporting myself to see who I am in self-honesty in order to stop who I’ve been through the eyes of my mind, to thus begin to realize myself in equality and oneness within and as me as my physical body and our physical world/reality/existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a has been, as someone who is to old to be something more within a perception of myself as being less than who I am as my physical body based upon how I think, feel and fear and within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize who I am as my physical body free from the limitation of thoughts, feelings and emotions/reactions and fears of growing old/aging.

I commit myself to realize how the fear of aging is an acceptance of myself within and as a belief of and as consciousness and in separation of who I am as my physical body thus, I commit myself to focus on breathing and to stop racing within myself to reach a point of consolation as a belief within my mind and to instead direct myself to communicate with me as my physical body in realizing that my physical body is here supporting, giving and allowing me the opportunity of and as life itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am according to ritualized forms of recognition referred to as ‘the right of passage’,  because I see, realize and understand how the only ‘rite of passage’ that will mark the process and/or progress for and of me in any way that matters is one where, I thus commit myself to redefine my ‘rite of passage’ to one where in self-honesty I direct myself to birth myself as life from the physical, walking in support for and of a world where suffering ends and where through an Equal Monetary System every living being is Guaranteed a Life lived in Dignity according to and as All as One as Equal.