I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within and as a primary/main character of/as a memory of my mind, will expect the unexpected, and as that, I anticipate as I place value within expectations as being good and/or bad and if/when my expectations are not met – I unexpectedly become a sub-character creation from/of and as a memory of/as a character role that I recall my mother existing as – where when her expectations weren’t met she would become of/as a primary/main character of and as anxiety, thus, I see, realize and understand that I have in-fact became the downloaded main/primary characters/personalities within and as the mind of/as my parent/mother’s mind as consciousness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within my anxiety is an expectation of having an experience of myself and when my expectation isn’t met, me as my mind goes into a sort of shift which then ripples throughout my entire physical body creating pain in my back and nausea as well as an increase in my breathing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety within and as me as my physical body where in any moment I suddenly feel as if I am going into shut down and where I experience nausea and my breathing will increase as my secret mind suddenly issues warnings of gloom and doom as the character who expects the unexpected.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel discomfort within my chest and back area when I experience anxiety within myself from living in anticipation, desire and expectation.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I anticipate I manifest expectation and expectation manifests separation from me as my physical body and my physical reality.
I forgive myself that as the character of/as my mind who expects the unexpected, I have accepted and allowed myself to not only expect the unexpected but to actually fear the unexpected.
I forgive myself that as the character of/as my mind who expects the unexpected, I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as not being able to handle the unexpected.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and manifest physical pain within my back from existing in fear of the unexpected.
I forgive myself for how I become as the character who expects the unexpected in how I loathe doing/being the same thing day in and day out, yet within that, I have become comfortable in and as the sameness of it all and thus I exist in fear of the unexpected.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become the character of expect the unexpected who thrives off of energy and whether it be negative or positive isn’t important because either way the character creation commits me to existing in/as separation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach emotional value to experiences of myself that first begin within and as expectations which consist of energetic charges of/as negative and/or positive.
I forgive myself for having expectations of myself where within that I manifest expectations of those around me and when my expectations aren’t met I judge my expression and the expression of others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare my life and myself to others when I don’t meet my own expectations of myself thus, I forgive myself for believing that life has failed me because I see, realize and understand that my perception of failure exist within the design of expectation through comparison and failure is only a perception of/as the mind as consciousness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must have something to look forward to where within that I accept and allow myself to exist within and as a character of/as my mind/memories who expects the unexpected.
I commit myself to stop looking forward in anticipation and fear, wherein I project myself into a future of expectation which accumulates myself in and as anxiety which ultimately manifests illness and disease upon me as my physical body.
I commit myself to stop attaching emotions or feelings to experiences where within my expectations I create fear experiences generated first from desire.
I commit myself to stop charging in and as the direction of/as my mind through emotions and feelings in fear, anticipation and expectation and to instead stop and breathe and direct me here within and as the power to decide who I am in self-honesty in/as supporting a world where all experience life in dignity according to what’s best for all.
I commit myself to living here as breath, realizing how through accumulating myself here as the directive principle of and as my world I am able to correct that which I’ve been, and create and manifest that which I see, realize and understand can be a constant application of me in and as self-trust within accumulating myself as breath walking here as me in self-honesty in/as self-application.
I commit myself to living free from emotions and feeling and to realize that in and as breath it is possible to become completely aware of who I am as my physical body within and without equal and one with everything and all here
(Please Read Heaven’s Blog: Sub-Character Creation – Part 1 (Self-Forgiveness): DAY 113)