Tag Archive | For the Love of Money

Day 203: What Moves Me: Misgivings

Here I am investigating what moves me, where during my day I become aware of that which triggers an energetic reaction within and as me – to walk the point through with self-forgiveness and self-corrective/committment statements – to thus change the nature of who I am to one where I am able to breathe and direct myself to walk this life, living and making decisions – with No reactions, No movement within me – according to what’s best for all.

The Problem is: 

Ok so, we live about 12 miles from the nearest town and I’ve become very comfortable with the silence and solitude that living in the country brings.  However the past couple of years have brought an accumulation of neighbors as well as a nearby extremely Loud drilling rig. Thus, already I’m aware of how just the ‘thought’ of having neighbors again and a major corporation raping the land in our area, is in itself like pulling the trigger for irritation and ultimately self-doubt.

The fact is, I am no longer willing to react and exist as the energy surrounding such triggers, thus, I’m determined to walk the self-corrective application to let them go.

So today, when I saw that one of my neighbors brought 3 young beautful healthy horses and placed them in a pen on their land with very little hay and water, I saw how the sight of them triggered a memory I have of the owner.  Again I see how money is a factor and motivator in my decision of becoming who I am. The memory consists of a beLIEf where according to an image within my mind I mistake what I’ve ‘heard’ said about them to be a fact.  I remember my other neighbor saying that the people who one this particular land, that ‘they apparently have a little bit of money’.

That ‘thought’ holds no actual fact, but nevertheless it triggers more backchat and internal conversation;  ”What kind of people put horses on their land and then just leave them there alone with no shelter from the harsh weather”.  The energy in just one particular line of thought participation triggers another and is enough to cause anyone to go into a full blown mind possession.

From there I go further into imagining and projecting my fears, telling myself how there’s not enough room for them to move around, and, with no shelter from the weather, one can see why one would begin to question if the horses are being adequately cared for.   Then, it snows, and I watched as the horses huddle together as the temperature drops below freezing.

I began to see how this particular point within myself has various levels of self-doubt, self-apprehension, spite, ego and of course fear.

Within and as it, my expectations of ‘what is right’ and ‘what is wrong’ are all over the place and I project my own self-doubt onto my neighbors, even though I have no idea who they are, nor do I have any idea how to care for horses in cold weather.  Determined to stop myself as the movement of energies surrounding this point, I breathe and continue to investigate.

The Solution

Having stopped my participation in and as the back chat and internal conversations, I began to educate myself with regards to how to take care of Horses during cold weather.  Immediately all of the backchat, internal conversations and energy within this point stopped.  Because once I understood the details and proper care the delusion I was accepting and allowing didn’t have a leg to stand on, so to speak.

I was able to then direct and assist myself through applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective application – to stop the pattern of ego, spite, backchat and internal conversations, judgments and opinions, as well as the fear I existed as within it..

In Addition, this point has assisted me to further realize the importance of Equal Money Capitalism,  where All Living Beings will Always be Provided and cared for according to what’s Best for All.

Reward:

No more Misgivings. I was able to recognize that the horses in question ARE being properly cared for and that all of my conclusions were obsessions/delusions – me reaching to experience myself within and as the energy of/as it. When I became clear within myself I was able to see my neighbors clear and see that the horses are doing well.

I am beginning to understand and trust myself within the meaning of ‘give as you’d like to receive’, to we walk together as a Living Example of what it is to assist and support each other according to What’s best for All.

No matter what. Everybody is Provided for… Nobody freezes and/or starves to death. Everybody has that which they require to experience a Dignified Life.

6 Components of Cold Weather Horse Care

Cold Weather Horse Care Tips

A Must Read: Day 306: Encryption of the System of Self

Investigate Equal Money Capitalism…

Misgivings1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within polarty cycles of fear of self-trapped by the fear of change and the fear of choice, all of which is just fear of self because self create all of reality – either directly or through what we accept and allow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my entire beLIEf system to be motivated and moved energetically by Money, where I accept and allow value to be placed upon Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto a beLIEf according to an image within my mind that consists of gossip – where I heard someone say that so and so ‘apparently have a little bit of money’ and within that thoughtI became the fear that I exist as in terms of my own survival – where money, or rather the lack of it sets the value and determines my place in society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the LIE of Ego where ‘self’ is all that matters, because as the object of my own thoughts, I give attention to myself in/as self-interest – religion of self – instead of taking self-responsibility and directing myself according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reach for conclusions in my ‘place of comfort’, where I blame others for how I experienced myself as having a negative attitude.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself go into my mind and participate in thoughts of what is ‘Right/Good’ and/or ‘Bad/Wrong’ and make decisions according to and as that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find fault in others where I become complacent and thus find fault in other’s as a way of ignoring my own self-doubt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a nervous energy, uneasy and fearful that something might happen and thus I become apprehensive and exist in fear my own misgivings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be apprehensive to communicate with others and thus I remain stuck in my mind of ‘what if‘s’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ‘set in my ways’ where I accept and allow who I am to be determined according to my past as my memories/behaviors/personalities and characters through which I judge others as myself and fail to recognize what I am seeing as my own self-judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stopping who I am as my imagination and thus when I ‘feel’ inconvenienced, it’s because my past projection of myself is being threatened – the one where I pictured my reality and my life being lived ‘a certain way’ – ‘pie in the sky’ dreams which were nothing more than thoughts in my own head of desires based in and as self-interest and greed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the feeling of believing myself as being inconvenienced by the actions or reactions of others and in failing to recognize myself within the uneasiness / movement within me as the inconvenience that I exist as in how I separate myself from others according to a value system that I’ve existed as and thus have accepted and allowed, where within our world we are the have’s and the have not’s and we support life accordingly by placing a price tag on the very necessities for life – as those that our Earth provides Equally for Everybody.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the misgivings of “maybe this isn’t what it looks like” or “I don’t like this situation”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look away and say nothing about the pain, misfortune and death that I see is forced upon those who have little to no money, because as such, they are seen to have little to no value/worth within our current world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reject others according to that which I’ve rejected and denied within myself as the point of taking self-responsibility.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself existing in/as a point of energy, where for example I become moved by the mistreatment of animals, I stop, I breathe.  I see, realize and understand that I have denied standing up and taking self-responsibility for and as them, thus, I commit myself to the decision to assist and support and change who I am from the inside out to one who that is willing to become a living example of what it is to live life according to what’s best for all and I commit myself to educating myself within any giving moment that requires that I do so.

I commit myself to when and as I see movement within me as energy in relation to a point where I judge others through backchat and internal conversations – which strokes my own ego in believing that I can or would be able to do a better job of taking care of something or someone than they are – I stop, I breathe. I see, realize and understand that it is my own misgivings of self that I am existing as, thus, I commit myself to walk the self-corrected application – to stop participation in thoughts, internal conversations and backchat – to instead educate myself about my world, to be willing to Stand Self-Responsible for and as All living beings to manifest Heaven on Earth.

I commit myself to stop searching for an experience as a reason to place a price tag on life.

MisgivingsI commit myself to see, realize and understand that Life here on Earth can and Will change because I am willing to walk the steps necessary that ensure Heaven is Life on Earth.

I commit myself to cross reference myself to be able to Stand within the Principal of/as What’s Best for All and so is best for me.

“From Good/Right and Bad/Wrong to – ‘What’s Best for All’. Whenever one face a moment, relationship – and one find one’s Mind go into ‘this is Right/Good’ and/or ‘Bad/Wrong’, to in the moment change the cross-reference to: Does that stand within the Principle of/as What’s Best for All, and so Best for me or Not? With the ‘Not’ in fact meaning – will this Decision/Direction produce CONSEQUENCE as compromise in me/my relationship to others, or will this bring forth a Solution and/or how can I structure the Decision/Direction into and as an equal and one Solution for me and/or all involved?” Sunette Spies ~ Heaven’s Journey to Life: LIFE-Regulation Practicality (Part Three): DAY 308

Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Join the forum:
Desteni

Advertisements

Day 187: The Fabric of Family Is Made of Money

Continuing from: Day 186: Inside Outside In-between

inside outside in betweenI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the internal conversations and back chat where within my mind I would say to myself: “when I have kids I will be different from my parents and not be greedy with my money”, or, “I will not favor one of my children over the other one” and within that, I see, realize and understand how in doing so I’ve been existing within a point of ego and spite in believing myself as superior and furthermore fueling myself as my mind within and as ego as a positive energetic charge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself within and as a beLIEf system where I told myself that money was not that important, when the fact was/is, is that money has been at the root of every decision I’ve made since I was 16 years old and pregnant, and for how money determined who I said I loved and for the fear of facing the consequences of being alone and broke, without money to properly care for my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly within my mind throw a silent temper tantrum when my parents didn’t buy me what I wanted them to and for how I utilized anger as a replacement for the negative experience I was having because in anger and ego I experienced superiority as a positive energy experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue the same pattern as my parents in how I raised my children in that I used money as a motivator by giving them things that gave them a sense of superiority over their classmates who couldn’t afford certain things like an expensive pair of the most popular shoes being worn at school for example.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise me as my physical body wherein I made choices as a single mom and remained in a relationship of a sexual nature because in doing so I was given rent money and/or was able to buy food to feed my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself according to my past behaviors and for the choices I made in order to have money, and within that for how I willingly accepted that this is how life is and that I should just bow down to our current money/world system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for the anger I feel towards the rich/elite and for my lack of responsibility for not realizing that money is/has been my God.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to borrow and loan money to members of my family and then through broken promises have accepted and allowed myself to exist in resentment, greed and hate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety within my chest area when my bank account gets low of money and for the fear in the pit of my stomach in worry of what will I do if I run out of money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I have taught my children how to be enslaved to money – instead of being a living example of life according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to stop who I’ve been in and as the very fabric of family as money, and to instead direct myself through self-forgiveness to walk the physical change in redesigning who I am as life according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself within the desire to make myself and my children ‘feel’ better by trying to solve problems with money that I can’t afford to spend and/or that I don’t have, I stop, I breathe – Instead I direct myself to realize that I am actually seeking to achieve a positive energy experience to replace a negative one.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself re-acting to my children in fear for their future, I stop, I breathe – I see, realize and understand that the same as me, they must walk their process in seeing, stopping, forgiving and in self-honesty re-designing who they are to one that supports a world/money system that will be supportive of all life equally.

I commit myself to stop who I am as panic within my mind when I see that my bank account is getting low and to instead focus on writing, self-forgiveness and supporting an Equal Money System to thus end our enslavement to and as money.

I commit myself to continue to walk this my Journey to Life, to establish and manifest an expression of myself within and as my physical body and reality whereas I stop who I’ve become defined as through emotions/feelings and energy programmed through by/as money and to within that direct myself to contribute to creating and manifesting a world that is in fact best for all.

——–

Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life

Join the forum:
Desteni

The FREE online course where you learn Essential Life Skills!
Desteni Lite

Day 186: Inside Outside In-between (My Daughter’s Moving Back Home)

There are many changes going on within my immediate world right now beginning with the fact that my youngest daughter, her boyfriend and my 2 year old granddaughter will be moving in with us in the next week. My daughter will be going to school for the next few years to be a Registered Nurse and her school schedule is compromising her work schedule and at the moment they can no longer afford their rent. The only way losing their home could be prevented would be if an Equal Money System were already in place.

Equal Money will change the way life itself is experienced especially since the Majority of us are struggling every day just to survive, thus, there are certainly enough to breathe Equal Money into Life.

I’ve realized through some personal writings how money has played a Huge factor in who I am and how I’ve come to accept and allow our current world/money system to exist as it is.  For instance, I measured my mother’s love for me according to how much money she was willing and/or able to spend on me even though at the time I didn’t realize it – how her spending initiated a positive energetic charge within me and so she, (or rather her money) was able to make me feel good. When she didn’t get me what I wanted, my experience of myself was a negative one and it just so happened that was 95% of the time.

I can remember having internal conversations and back chat where within my mind I would say to myself: “when I have kids I will not be so greedy with my money”, “I will not favor one of my children over the other one”.  And as a kid, I was sure my mom spent more money on my brothers and sisters than she did on me.

The thing is, when I grew up and had kids,  I repeated the same patterns as my parents. Eventually I favored my youngest daughter over my other daughter and my oldest child, my son – here I’m referring to the amount of money I have given and /or spent on them.
inside outside in between1The fact is, I’ve done a grave injustice in how I’ve raised all of my children and specifically with my youngest and with regards to money. I was always trying to make my children happy, to ‘fix’ their world – always trying to make them ‘feel’ good and in doing so, of course I made myself feel better, or so I ‘thought’.

There is a huge problem when one is trying to make someone ‘feel’ better because ‘feeling good’ is Not the magic formula to becoming a responsible human being who is considerate of All life.  In fact, just the opposite happens.

I can see how all of the emotions and feelings surrounding the numerous moments when a bill couldn’t be paid or when there wasn’t enough money to buy food – all the pain and suffering could have been prevented with Equal Money.

Equal Money is a living example of what it is to be responsible for All Life on Earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money as a motivator for my reason for the fear of feeling rejected by my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I’ve become within what I believed was expected of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to raise my children within my world of fear which I’ve continued to exist within and as based in memory/characters and personalities that I first imagined and created for myself as a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the image/thought of the look on my mom’s face when she would get angry at me for asking her to buy something for me – and for how I resisted the image so much so that I became it and then created the opposite side of the coin of it in that I over indulged in order to manifest a positive energy experience within and as me and for my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed internal conversations and backchat to determine the choices I made with regards to money in raising my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put on a happy face in the face of others all the while inside myself existing within a split version of myself trying to maintain the positive within a negative experience of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I have suppressed myself because I believed I couldn’t express my feelings and opinions about money and family social status.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how easy it is to deceive myself and others with a smile.

Suggest for context Hear: Living in Two Worlds – Life Review

to be continued
———
Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life

Join the forum:
Desteni

The FREE online course where you learn Essential Life Skills!
Desteni Lite

Day 8: For the Love of Money/God/Religion of Self

Undo the Deception – – When I first came to Desteni and began to hear the message of Equality and Equal Money – the nature of me as the Mind of Consciousness within the World-System/Money, was barely able to hear and understand the magnitude of changes Equal Money will give to all life within our world. Here now, some 4 years later – after giving myself the opportunity to investigate and educate myself in how our world is currently existing within a multitude of levels and corruption in and as various world systems – I have come to comprehend, (and am still educating myself), and I commit myself to standing in full agreement with everything that Equal Money represents and offers as support so that All may live and breathe a dignified Life.

I forgive myself for how I’ve deceived myself into believing that money doesn’t matter to me when in fact the idea of not having money scares the hell out of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use others who have money in pretense in order to escape my fear of not having any money to eat, sleep and survive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deceive myself into believing that money was Not on my Mind when in fact I thought all the time about how was I going to have enough money to pay my rent, my car payment and feed my children and buy them clothes for school so they won’t feel different compared to what other children have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through religious brainwashing/reasoning think that money and/or anything related to it are evil and must be purged from the earth

I forgive myself for when I was a Christian and believed that money was a very personal thing and that it was nobody else’s business what I’m doing with my money ( except God’s of course).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not wanting to Talk about how Money affected who I was and how I acted as in life to/towards others wherein I judged those who appeared to have less money than me and was jealous of those who had more money than me and thus didn’t want people to perceive me to be judging/ bragging and/or being immodest and/or rude and greedy.

I forgive myself for those moments when I lived, ate and breathed money to the point that it practically ripped my family apart while in my mind I hated money and the love of money because I believed money was the root of all evil – instead of realizing that money is not evil it is merely a tool used for/by and as the evils of men.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my life according to how I existed from paycheck to paycheck so to hear someone talking about how well they were doing with how much money they are making and/or saving was like pouring salt on a wound wherein I felt threatened, was angry and full resentment which only served to fuel me further within and as ego and greed – instead I see, realize and understand that when all have equal money and the ability to care for themselves properly we will then care for each other properly within and as love and kindness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the religion of self where I wanted my way no matter the consequences that having my way would manifest and create in and as the lives of others within my physical reality.

I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself to undo/release myself from the Illusion of who and what I’ve accepted myself to be within the love of Money/God/Religion/Self, all of which are energy experiences as Consciousness and the reality of what I’ve created and that which I commit myself to stopping through self-forgiveness and in self-honesty – to stand up and change myself to walking in equality and oneness of and as the substance of me as this physical substance according to and as all as one as equal.

I commit myself to forgiving myself for that which I believed I lacked in suppression as I stop self-limitation and instead I take responsibility for and as me facing myself as my creation as the mind and World system so as to live solutions to the mind/world system for myself and thus for all as me.

I commit myself to walk my process of/as clearing separation of mind/energy as me into one of equality and oneness through directing myself writing and applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective application so that I may begin to effectively support all living beings in finding solutions for our world where suffering and abuse will end and life will emerge as dignity through acts of kindness and gentleness between each other in seeing. realizing and understanding that the common ground we all share is one within our coming together in harmony within and as our physical reality.

I commit myself to be able to live so completely in every breath that I am able to die in any breath and in that moment I will be certain that no regret ever exist and I have lived as Life should live and I have given life as I have received life and in this I have created a world that is best for all life to which each life form will come to be born onto support and abundance and happiness to explore the multiple universe of the physical we have degenerated and degraded to only picture version of our delusions of imagination. I commit myself to get to know directly every part, every dimension that is here that I may see what life is really about in every way. – Bernard Poolman

I commit myself to the process of walking the above words til I have walked them equally as me as them.