Tag Archive | Football and breast cancer

Day 221: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – slash-and-burn strategy – Day 6

Alright so my partner and I met with a surgeon to discuss my treatment plan and whether or not the plan involves a lumpectomy or mastectomy. Sitting there listening to the detailed step by step treatment plan being laid out and projected before me, I was very much aware of my urge to RUN, Do Not walk to the nearest exit… This wasn’t personal towards the surgeon, on the contrary. The rhythm of his knowledge and information combined with his experienced hands, caused me to want to jump on the surgery train with him. And, that scared the hell out of me. Within my mind, I saw how I was just searching for a reason to follow this guy, (the surgeon). I tell ya, it was no different an experience as the one I once had at a church revival when I believed I’d been touched by the holy ghost.

I guess shock was what finally broke the energetic spell I was existing within, and it was then that I began to ask questions.

First it’s important that I take a moment to make perfectly clear that every individual cancer case should be treated as that, individual and personal. Thus, there may be some things that I will document for myself, but keep private for the moment.

Whatever treatment I choose will be mine and mine alone. Please do not refer to my experience as being a cure or a healing. It’s important that one consult with their Doctor when choosing and making medical decisions. Investigate and Educate yourself according to your own individual process/situation.

Ok so what do I know about the kind of cancer that I have? It’s Estrogen receptor (ER) positive, meaning this type of breast cancer is sensitive to estrogen. It’s also Progesterone receptor (PR) positive, meaning this type of breast cancer is sensitive to progesterone.  So this is cool because we know what caused it and how to stop it.

Alright then, because of the size and location of the lump, it will make a lumpectomy rather difficult. So basically, the plan is leaning towards a mastectomy. That brings me to the next option, my insurance will pay to have my other breast removed and if I choose that option, then they’ll also pay for reconstructive breast surgery. I was aware of how within me, I was glad to hear about the reconstructive breast surgery, but no matter what, the idea of having my breasts removed, is, well it’s hard to plan for.

Ok so the surgeon also checked my lymph nodes and did a biopsy on one of them. He said he will probably have to remove at least one lymph node, but he doesn’t think the cancer has metastasized/spread. But we’ll know more after the surgery. Either way, he says that because of how fast the lump grew, he suggests after surgery and recovery that I then have approximately 4 months of Chemotherapy, followed by 6 weeks of Radiation Therapy consisting of five days a week as preventative measures.

I continued to ask questions, like, what about the hormone therapy to block the estrogen receptors as a preventative measure? What about that?  Why is it the last step of treatment instead of the first?  Why chemo and radiation therapy as a preventative? It makes sense to me to remove the cancer and begin the hormone blocker therapy.  However,  if the cancer is only found in one area of my body, why abuse my entire physical body with poison and burn it out as a ‘preventative’, so to speak.

“The mainstream medical establishment often prescribes mastectomy, radiation and chemotherapy to treat cancer, an approach that has been described as a ‘slash-and-burn strategy’. The treatment for breast cancer is unfortunately often the general rule among cancer treatment– cut off the affected organ, poison the body with chemotherapy and then harm the body even more with radiation.” ~ Professor Null, Complete Encyclopedia of Natural Healing

breast cancer awareness
As I look at this, I realize it seems easier for the patient to just do what they’re told by the healthcare professionals, because the mind is in such uncharted waters that it finds comfort in accepting the pre-outlined decisions – follow the rules as instructed and don’t question anything. That’s how our world/money systems function as a controlled environment that gives us the illusion of choice.

How strange is it that we support systems that are designed to keep us enslaved and specifically to stop us from taking self-responsibility for ourself?

What other species accepts the kind of abuse, punishment and unspeakable acts of terror to happen within our world as a result of how we’ve designed, accepted and allowed our current Capitalistic Money system to exist, with regards to how Life is lived and experienced as Death?  None.  Only the Human accepts and allows such a slash-and-burn strategy, which is exactly why we require a new money system.

Alright, it’s late, I will stop here.  To be continued.


“A Few Points about Equal Money Capitalism, just to Wet your Appetite:

– It will Bring an End to All Debt in the World

– Property Ownership will be a Basic Human Right

– Healthcare will be a Basic Human Right

– Happiness will be a Basic Human Right

– Employment will be a Basic Human Right

– Education will be a Basic Human Right

Freedom of Choice will be a Basic Human Right

This is But a Few of the Results of the Law of “Giving as you would like to Receive”, Embodied in Capitalism that is Based On Equal Rights for Every Human Being on Earth.

Every Human Being Claim ‘the Right to Life’, yet there is no Protection of this Right – unless you, in the Current Capitalism, have the Benefit of Money; this Equal Money Capitalism (EMC), will Prevent. What will also be Prevented, is War. As War is Profit-Driven.

It is Time for a New World System. One Based on Prevention, instead of Reaction. One Based on Honouring the Right of Life, Equally for All.

Join the Journey to Life, and Become Part of a Solution.” ~ Bernard Poolman

Day 220: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – The Culture – Day 5

I just received further results from my recent biopsy. I have the kind of cancer where the receptors within its cells are ER Positive – which means Estrogen is what makes this type of cancer grow. Thus, hormonal therapy made to block the physical body from being able to absorb Estrogen is a common/combined treatment plan.

“If cancer cells have receptors for these hormones, it means that they are at least TRYING to perform the tasks of a normal breast cell. They’re behaving—somewhat.”

When I hung up the phone from talking to my nurse, I noticed how me as my mind ‘felt’, ‘better’. I had to stop myself from repeating over and over within my mind what the nurse said – ‘this is definitely in your favor’...

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t glad to hear what she said, but that begs me to answer the following questios.

What is my favor? Do I favor this kind of cancer over another kind of cancer? Stop – Don’t Prejudge.

I Commit myself to Breathe and Not pre-judge the information.
What am I in favor of? Drugs? Hormone Therapy? Supporting Big Pharma?  Earth? Life as all as one as equal?  Hunger? War? Equal Money?  

It’s important to me that I investigate the Culture surrounding breast cancer as well as the mentioning of cures.

Seriously, why do we keep giving Money to Rich folk to find the cures they’ll never approve?

How come we refuse to listen, to understand, that if a cure could be bought we would have already purchased it.

Money/Profit/Greed.  is the only Reason why there is no ‘Approved’ Cure for Cancer.

I mean, I just received my cancer diagnosis a week ago and already, I’m in debt for well over $6000 Dollars.

Like it or not, and I don’t like it, the Culture surrounding Breast Cancer, is a well-oiled machine, just like all the other cultures within our society. They’re here for one purpose and one purpose only, Profit, to feed the fat cats…


“Given the pink ribbon’s symbolic success, what’s wrong with it? Sulik argues that pink ribbon culture focuses attention on the wrong things and does it in a way that is not really contributing to progress toward preventing and curing cancer. It buries medical controversies, ignores environmental causes of cancer and insurance problems, and does not increase access to treatment for underserved populations.” — Judith Lorber


“Breast cancer, I can now report, did not make me prettier or stronger, more feminine or spiritual. What it gave me, if you want to call this a “gift,” was a very personal, agonizing encounter with an ideological force in American culture that I had not been aware of before—one that encourages us to deny reality, submit cheerfully to misfortune, and blame only ourselves for our fate.” ― Barbara Ehrenreich, Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America


“I commit myself to question the integrity of activists, and to remind activists that activism should be about a new world system that is best for all life always, and that any activist that cannot stand for what is best, is in fact only an extension of the system of greed that has failed Life in every way.” Bernard Poolman


The thing is, I’m beginning to understand how I have ‘sewn’ the oats of this that I’m walking. I have through my participation in negative and positive energetic experiences treated my body no different from the products that I consume daily. And, I made the ultimate sacrifice when I never stopped to consider what the highs and lows of energy demands from my physical body. Instead, I took my physical body for granted and I abused myself as it.

For Context Please Watch:
The Good and Bad Products of the Consciousness/Mind Factory: DAY 342

“And now, we’ve completely split ourselves into good products and bad products. And, you know, the same exist in this physical existence – we’re consuming ourselves – we’re consuming physicality – we’re consuming that which is, in fact, producing, or providing, natural life and living in this physical existence. For what? For products that have been determined by a particular, specific value to, according to that value, establish for ourselves into a certain social or heirarchical class or, a definition, or character, or personality within this life experience, in this world and this reality. Where, for those products to exist, physical reality – this physical existence – is being sacrificed. I mean, it doesn’t make sense – our existence – in any way whatsoever.” Sunette Spies


I continue to learn through DesteniI Process and DIP Lite and I appreciate the awesome support both provide.  I also want to say how much I also appreciate  the amazing support from my Partner, my Children, my Desteni I Process Buddy, and my fellow Destonians, all of which assist me daily to walk this Journey to Life.

Ok, tomorrow I am scheduled to meet with a surgeon, and so we continue to walk…

Day 219: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Anxiety – Day 4

Today I don’t want to write and I don’t want to talk either. I don’t want to be alone and I don’t want to be around anyone. I’m both restless and quiet inside myself. And, I’m absolutely aware of how I’m existing in my own little world – where within my mind I’m still trying to make sense of myself within the knowledge that I have breast cancer. Even when we went to my oldest daughter’s house to see my grandson’s, Landon and Logan, I was completely aware of when I was reacting within myself to the anxiety I was experiencing. The truth is, I just wanted to be alone. I sat down to blog a couple of times but instead found comfort in cooking and doing laundry.

While I was cooking, I re-heard a couple of interviews from Eqafe which assisted me greatly with what has been sudden bursts of uncontrolled energy/anxiety. For further clarity please hear: Anxiety Support By the Atlanteans (Part 1) – Part 83, and Anxiety Support By the Atlanteans (Part 2) – Part 84

I mean, being able to effectively look at my relationship to anxiety within this point is priceless. So approaching my anxiety from the perspective of taking responsibility for myself as it and directing myself to Not react meant that I must first understand how anxiety moves, which is very fast.

As I investigated, I become aware of myself kind of shrugging my shoulders and then putting my hands up to my face/mouth just moments before the anxiety comes – that’s when an emotion or feeling will like infuse into the anxiety and within seconds, I feel the energy.  It’s then that I notice a particular thought pattern/memory or reaction, which is what validates the energy of the anxiety.  I mean, did you know that it literally takes time to panic?

Here I will be applying self-forgiveness and  self-commitment statements.

Equalitylife260I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the energy experience of anxiety, where I experience a restlessness and an uncomfortability within and as my Physical Body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a relationship with anxiety based upon how the energy of it makes me feel nostalgic and sentimental – with a wistful yearning for the happiness I once felt in a former place and time/within a memory, thus, I commit myself to in my voice make anxiety – that part of me – aware that what it’s doing within and as my physical body is not acceptable. and that I no longer accept it to desturb my ability /decision to remain calm and stable breathing.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that anxiety is like an energy that is uncontrolled, therefore, I commit myself to take self-responsibility for the relationship I have to anxiety, to thus breathe and remain calm and stable within and as the directive principle of me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anxiety as I stepped outside, where I went to stand and watch my granddaughter play and within that I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I do not require anxiety as a reaction to prepare me for simply walking outside to watch my granddaughter play.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not understand how I developed a relationship to the energy of positive and negative, where through manifested consequences and experiences, I didn’t consider the damage the participation as the energy cause within and as my physical body.

I commit myself to take a breath, to stand with myself, to trust myself within who I am as the words that I speak as I commit myself to trust who I am as my physical body, to trust the process of cleansing as I commit myself to stop the bully in me by giving first that which I’d like to receive.

I commit myself to be here for me, my trust as who I am.

Day 218: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Self-reflection & pink, twisted ribbons – Day 3


I don’t want to talk about it anymore. But yet, I do. I see how I’m searching for some commonality within myself where I can specifically relate to the Beast within me as Breast Cancer – that something that will end the separation that I am experiencing within myself towards it – the lump. Who am I now that CANCER has proven itself to be a definite part of my anatomy?



The plan is to get to know who I am as my body/mind/physical, to do whatever is necessary to assist myself to face that which I fear the most.   Death… The monster in the dark, the beast in the night. Strange…

I was always scared that something ‘out there’ was gonna kill me but I failed to comprehend that ‘what’s out there’, exist first ‘in here’ – as my imagination, my thoughts, the energy of ups and downs, the feelings, the emotions, the secrets within and as my mind…

I forgive myself for the the inner definition of myself as the monster under the bed / the demon in the closet / the beast in the night /  self-judgment / imagination / the lump / breast cancer and Death and within that, I commit myself to take self-responsibility to change the inner behavior of myself to stop the bully within by Giving first to others that which I’d like to Receive.

“When you treat a disease, first treat the mind.” ~Chen Jen

There are moments when I am reflective, where I look around me and take everything in. Where I can hear and follow what’s being said by 3 adults and 2 year old, all talking at once – and it’s oddly-comforting as I’m recognizing within me to keep it simple you have to breathe.

“What cancer does is, it forces you to focus, to prioritize, and you learn what’s important.” Gilda Radner


“You are in this World, because: You Have No Responsibility, No Integrity and because you have Never Cared about Life in the Universe throughout All Time. You are, in a way, in a Prison. A Prison you created for yourself. You’re Not Going to Get out of This one…not here or in the hereafter without facing consequence, taking responsibility for it and changing for oneself and so for all as self.” – Bernard Poolman

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself back in fear of exposing the truth of me and within that I commit myself to stop pre-judging myself as I Direct myself to walk in courage the willingness to be self-honest and Stable as I walk this Journey to Life.

“We don’t know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice we have.” ~Unknown

So, most of us have a clear definition of what it means to be ‘Strong’.  It goes without saying that we all want to be a survivor. But, I’m no more willing to define myself as the strong struggling to survive.  I commit myself to investigate for myself realistically – for instance, how does me having breast cancer support our current world/money system?  Is my participation as a living being supporting Life according to what’s Best for All or am I a committed supporter of Profit/ Consciousness / Money / Enslavement/  Death?

I mean even the NFL is profiting off of Breast Cancer.   Did you know that Breast Cancer Charities, Companies Raise $6 Billion DOLLARS A Year?
pink twisted ribbons
For Context Read:
How big business cashes in on breast cancer: Junk food, Barbie dolls and even power tools are jumping on this month’s pink ribbon bandwagon

Ok, Will continue to investigate and share how Cancer is Big Business. Because seriously, at this rate there is No way a cure will ever be approved. There are far to many Major Corporations who are getting rich from those of us who have cancer.  In order for the rich to exist the poor and the dying must exist.  We can’t have one without the other.   Rich people vs Poor people –  Why in the world is such a thing accepted and allowed?  Because someone somewhere is getting Rich!


Imagine.  If Equal Money were in place, our entire experience of Breast Cancer would change to one where the life of every individual is considered – instead of the only motive for care being based on profit – it would be based according to what’s Best for All and that’s where everything changes as Life on Earth.

I Commit myself to take self-responsibility for myself and Stop participating within my mind in positive and negative energetic experiences and in doing so I commit myself to investigate the consequences for what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become as them.

Human Rights would be the Recognition that All Life is Equal in Each One. It would be the Recognition that the Environment Determines the Outcome of a Life on Earth. Human Rights would be that Every One Born has a Right to the Resources on Earth as Food, Shelter, Water, Sunshine – the things that are Freely Available on Earth, then must simply be Managed to the Benefit of All. Human Rights Should be that No Political Agenda May Exist that will Interfere or Diminish the Right of Any Single Human on Earth and/or that can Limit the Right to Life of any single human on earth in any way whatsoever.” Bernard Poolman


Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life