Tag Archive | fake

Day 76: The Worrisome Character

It becomes clearer and clearer to me daily, that the only real terror that exists within this world exists within the mind of the human being. Thus I’ve created through thought participation; The Worrisome Character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a worrisome character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about how come I see myself as a ‘worrisome’ character instead of a character of worry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself as the worrisome character to that of a worm slithering on the floor, lying there quietly watching as life is mauled to death by our world/money system which teaches children to be soldiers and allows other children to starve to death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to familiarize myself in/as a worrisome character grieving over whether we as a humanity can ever change that which we fear the most, which is ourself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the worrisome character within the realization that we may never stop, that we’ll keep on replacing our integrity as life within the ‘belief’ that there is more that we must have, thus not stopping until we get what we want, not realizing that what we ‘want’ can never be gotten from somewhere out there, because what we are seeking isn’t out there, it is here, within us each one in seeing that we’re All Equal in Life in every way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself in and as the worrisome character to fear how, we with our own hands will put our own creations to death because we require food for our physical body, yet we never consider asking permission first from the one being sacrificed for the sins of our own death wish of eating to live.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in/as the worrisome character to not realize that when I worry I fear, thus I split myself into two separate worlds, within the context of doubt and uncertainty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it is my fear that moves me to the survival mode of my mind in/as the worrisome character.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself in/as a worrisome character to abandon life itself through competing with others in order to make the most money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience and project heartbreak in/as a worrisome character unto my 2 year old granddaughter in fear of what will I say to her when she asks me what happened to our world when she can’t afford to feed and clothe herself – because the reality of this moment is, $100 worth of groceries doesn’t even buy one week supply of food.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the worrisome character in asking myself how and what do I tell my grandchildren as to why we as humans fear and compete as we do with each other within an explanation that others won’t mock as being that of a lie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a worrisome character to anguish in how much hate exists within us as humanity – will we become one massive possession within our minds as consciousness so much so that we’ll bring ourselves to the very brink of our own extinction in order to stop what we are accepting and allowing within and as our current world/money system of/as enslavement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in/as the worrisome character to feel as if I’m carrying the weight of the world in the pit of my stomach, and I see how I’ve been carrying me in the pit of sPITe to/towards others in fear of myself for Not taking self-responsibility and facing me within all of the pain and suffering of existence in/as living life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a worrisome character instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that to exist as such is participating within and as the mind as consciousness which is exactly how and why we are in this mess to begin with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand how important it is to stop the mind as consciousness, thus we stop the consequences self creates within and without and unto existence.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that existing in/as the worrisome character is just another name for being afraid.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that existing in/as the worrisome character is just another self-manipulation technique to keep me forever enslaved in/as our world/money system as a mind consciousness system organic robot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use myself as a worrisome character as an excuse to justify why I am to afraid to actually stand up and take self-responsibility for the absolute madness existent in and as our world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that in allowing myself in/as the worrisome character, I’m actually allowing me as my mind to manipulate, thus, I will manipulate myself and others within my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deem myself as a worrisome character to be superior over me – instead of standing up one and equal to/as myself through facing myself in self-honesty, thus supporting a world according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to stop myself in moments where I become aware that I am participating in/as the worrisome character and direct myself to investigate the source and origin of who I am within the simplicity of this moment of breath.

I commit myself to stop reactions within myself towards how our world exists and to instead in self-honesty face who I am within it all.

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Day 75: I will never do That again

A point came up today reminding me of the many personalities I’ve existed as within stating, ‘I will never do That again’. One in particular I was reminded of today, after having not smoked marijuana in a very, long time, I was triggered by a commercial on t.v., with thoughts of ‘lighting up’, and, it was if I could almost smell the shit.

The last time I spoke the words that ‘I will never smoke weed again, was the time before the last time that I smoked it, and eventually, I did smoke again. The last time I smoked it however, I didn’t speak the words, ‘I will never do that again’. Instead, I investigated the point slowly to see who I’ve been within the desire to smoke within my mind.

And, through applying self-forgiveness – and the tools of Desteni I Process – I was able to when the thought today to light one up presented me with a decision, it was an easy decision to Not participate and thus the decision of no longer smoking weed has become a very simple one.

Was a very cool point for me in realizing how effective walking this process is in changing one’s self from the inside out. I’m very grateful for the gift of self-forgiveness, and my decision to walk the Journey to Life, together as a group as Destonians, changing the world, beginning first with self.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create personalities of myself with repeating condescending patterns, where when the energy of my descent as a particular character hits bottom, I will stand up within my fall and project the future of myself by becoming the, ‘I will never do that again character’.

I forgive myself for the countless number of times I have lied to myself and others as myself in/as a personality stating, ‘ I will never do that again’.

I forgive myself for the countless number of times that I have set myself up as a failure in/as personalities of, ‘ I will never do that again’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in/as the ‘I will never do that again’ personality’, to condemn, judge and feel guilty towards myself until finally, I repeat the very pattern I’ve just days before swore off of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in/as the ‘I will never do that again personality’ where within the promise of hope I create an alternate reality projection where I manifest and experience myself in/as an alternate reality only in my mind as consciousness, because there is No physical reality in a promise, only hope.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself within the personality of ‘ I Will Never do that again’ to go into to cycles of victimization wherein I substitute one positive energetic experience for another as a way of balancing the negative energy experiences where I’ve aligned myself in/as the thoughts and feelings of ‘great! I fucked up again, I am worthless’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand how the personalities I exist as already have a delusional life before the physical application of/as me walks them into to action as movements of myself, because they first began within and as my mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see/realize and understand that in making the statement in/as the personality of ‘I will never do that again’, I am actually making the statement from the starting point self-dishonesty, because I’ve not actually taken a moment to look at who and where I am within my mind according to the actions I’m confirming myself within, in relation to what it is I’m stating that ‘I will never do again’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in/as the ‘I will never do that again’ personality, to not see/realize and understand how in walking as that personality – without completely walked the process of and as it, through and as my mind, through self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements – I have elevated myself into an egotistical state of mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in/as the ‘I will never do that again’ personality, to make statements that I’ve not yet walked within my process in order to be able to stand as the words I’m stating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in/as the ‘I will never do that again’ personality to actually be participating in and as energy and within that my words are nothing but empty statements of only talking – instead of actually physically walking self change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and live up to egotistical statements of myself – instead of physically practically living who I am here within this moment in/as breath.

I commit myself to slow myself down and to stop making empty statements where I then put myself into scripting characters and personalities of myself without having investigated who I am within how and what I’m speaking as the words as who I am.

I commit myself to when I make statements of changing/stopping this or that, that I know exactly how it is that I am going to change, according to a practical physical application guideline for myself.

I commit myself to in self-honesty investigate how I’ve created me as my mind as the patterns, constructs, and characters I’ve accepted and allowed, to thus forgive, realign and redesign through a practical, physical living application as who I am, according to what’s best for all.

“A Personality is created from an accumulation of characters/similar characters that come-together and then manifested an entire person/personality that you physically live-out.” Sunette Destonian Spies