Tag Archive | ‘Equal rights for women’

Day 10: Ways and Means of Money

Everyone has a story. When you hear or read someone’s story, it’s usually very easy to see yourself within it. The most common point within everyone’s story is each one’s ‘ways and means’ of making money in order to survive. My story and your story are individually different, yet, they’re the same. We’re both trying to survive and in order to survive, we have to do what? Have a way and the means to earn Money.

It’s the very core and nature of who and what we’ve become. Everyone’s doing it – trying to survive. You have your way and I have mine, but at the end of the day, we’re all the same. Existing in and as a never ending rat race toward an invisible finish line ending only in death. The odd thing is, we more often will blame anything and everything for the ways and means we go about trying to survive – except for the Inequality within and as our Current Capitalistic Money System.

Consider we don’t have to exist this Way – Commit yourself to investigating an actual Solution: Equal Money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to constantly think about how I gotta change my way of living cause the blues is all I see as I struggle to give meaning to how and why I’m here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can’t change the ways and means in how I exist day in and day out searching/seeking to find a piece of myself in all that I have to finish before I can punch the time clock and go home.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become possessed and obsessed with myself for the things I’ve not done today and for the ways I behave just to make it through the day to earn the means to survive the ways of barely surviving.

I forgive myself for the things I’ve done as a means of supporting myself within a system that weighs one against the other in comparing who has what, who’s done the most and who is winning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always search for the way and meaning of myself through my God as Money.

I forgive myself for seeing the struggle of my neighbor and instead of assisting and supporting them I judged and gossiped about the fact that they didn’t have enough money to feed their children and I ridiculed them for not having a better paying job – instead of realizing that the pain and suffering of another reflects us Every-Body as who we are through and as the very blood/life running through our veins in all that we’ve denied and abdicated ourselves from as life as the means and the way to bring an end to pain and suffering and to act accordingly in producing the results for and as a life where all living being exist in dignity in respect to/as and of life itself of which we are all equally responsible for.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become so caught up in the illusion of life and of living through money that I didn’t see the how human beings are suffering and starving even if they’re right in front of me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become so accustomed to working and paying bills that I didn’t stop to consider that life is Not supposed to be this way.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to ‘not have the time’ as I passed by another instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that in my ‘lack of time state of mind’ as I passed another by, I am actually passing by the reflections/parts of me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within a parasitic nature where I’ve become dependent upon relationships according to how the relationship assists me in surviving within this GODFORSAKEN world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see/realize and understand that in allowing Money to Manipulate me, I will manipulate myself and others within my world.

I forgive myself for existing every day in the hopes of finding a better job instead of realizing that life is an expression – Not a JOB.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see/realize and understand that in being a slave to money, then money will become the slavery of the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am and how others will act toward me according to the amount of money I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be trapped and enslaved and controlled in an abusive relationship with Money.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to see the world and not see me, therefore I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be directed as consciousness – instead of me directing me within and as self-honesty in seeing/realizing and understanding that there is No other choice but to Stand In The Way of consciousness and Stopping the Means through which consciousness moves as the mind and manipulates through and as our Current Money System as the Deadliest Act Allowed and Followed of All Time as the Ways and Means of Ego, Corruption and Greed.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to in my fight for survival constantly compete in conflict with others and in doing so only considering what’s best for me instead of considering What’s Best for All. I Stop. I Breathe.

I forgive myself that I hadn’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand the extent of which competition and conflict exist within our world in and as our current money system wherein the distribution of inequality is based upon profit and gain in the Ways we are stripping our Earth of it’s Life Giving Means.

Art By Anna Brix Thomsen

I commit myself to stop worrying about what I’ve perceived as my problems, my money, my life, and my relationships and instead I commit myself to directing myself to considering and educating myself to see/realize and understand what is really going on within this entire world and humanity as a whole.

I commit myself to daily writing, self-forgiveness, walking and accumulating myself in an effective manner, supporting others as a living example in and as creating a world that’s best for all.

I commit myself to walking solutions that consider everyone and everything and to focus on that which will make a difference to the Life of Humanity.

I commit myself to stopping fear and standing in support of nature, earth, water and plants through and as gratefulness.

I commit myself to earth myself that I may be rebirthed to life and live my life as the extension of the earth as the hand of my maker that see that all life is given equally from the storehouse of life which is the earth. – Bernard Poolman

I commit myself to standing one and equal as these words.

Releasing Selfish Acts – Through Desteni I Process

I have been writing the time line for my 4th mind construct in my Desteni I Process/SRA Two class, with regards to my son.  These classes just keep getting more fascinating the more mind constructs that one walks.  I’ve been able to see the Selfish Acts of myself – how I have fooled and fueled myself into believing that I have lived by some sort of ‘law’ of righteousness, morality and/or altruism, when clearly I have not, nor do I want to, considering the definitions I have placed these words within me as . 
In considering the Equality Equation – the question I must ask myself is, do I even understand and/or comprehend what such an equation will represent?

to become the directive principle of myself as all as one as equal here

to actually live as the redirection of myself in self-honesty where through self-forgiveness I am realigning and redesigning myself according to each point that I am facing and releasing according to the law of self-correction and in all ways – stopping abuse

where one becomes unconditional in support of all living beings according to and as a Universal Law of Oneness and according to and as a Principle of Equality – that is in fact lawless in a sense, because to give and support all living beings as one would assist and support themselves equally, in order to sustain themselves equally as all life here, will in itself provide unconditional life support to self

no acknowledgment, no attention and/or desires to be met,  because we’ll no longer exist as such
Where giving assistance and support to all living beings is 100 % – free of expectations of receiving
because to give according to expectations is not giving of self equally – thus does not support self of receiving equally

In Self-honesty one is  – Establishing a Law according to Equality by way of The Law of Forgiveness = Equal Money System = The Equality Equation = Life lived as All as One as Equal as self here breathing within and as The Law of Equality

Begin here in small acts of Equality – How are you assisting and supporting others every day consistently and Equally as yourself?

Back to my lesson – cheers



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Self Honesty versus Honesty

As a child growing up, to be "honest", meant to tell the truth, but more than not, the reasons and/or actions of ‘telling’ a version of the truth, was always according to beliefs and/or opinions, as well as any ‘laws’ that governed us. To be "honest", has not, and does not – according to how we as humanity have defined ourselves and have existed as – stand equal and one within a solution that is practical for all to be able to exist here living in dignity within every moment.  I grew up wanting to live in honesty, and I quickly realized that it was usually to my benefit to tell a ‘little white lie’, which was certainly more tolerated and accepted.  I didn’t get in as much trouble when telling a ‘little white lie’, because mostly people just wanted to hear what they wanted to hear. We were all to ‘afraid’ of ‘getting our feelings hurt’, and so in order to fit in, I followed along like everyone did.
I began to question my self and my actions in “honesty” one Sunday morning during church service as I participated in the holiday ‘dress up’ for the ‘Mother’s day’ service. All of the women were dressed to the max, wearing brand new dresses with matching handbags, shoes and hats, as well as a wearing a corsage.  Everyone of us complimenting the other one about how beautiful their dress was, as we each stood in jealousy of each other.  As a woman, I know there was jealousy because later within our own little ‘clicks’ we would talk about ‘so and so’…

As “honesty’, I was existing according to which ever ‘system’ definition I was wanting, seeking and desiring attention as, and/or what energy I was requiring, in order to maintain a belief about myself.  Always according to the religion system, education system, and/or relationship/family systems, and always according to any fears that may arise within the energy I wished to escape from and/or wished to experience and exist as.

I overlooked any common sense, because I just wanted to ‘fit in’, and the "truth is", I never questioned my "honesty".  It all seemed harmless and I believed that I wasn’t hurting anyone as I existed in the make-believe world of/as the direction of my mind.  I never questioned and/or asked myself how my words and actions were affecting others in my world because I was so unaware of how I was participating in who I was and was becoming.  I was being directed according to my mind and separating myself from all life here.  All of which was within the starting point of money because our current money system is the center point of support for and as the systems that we each exist as, and is where the destruction of our self exists. There is so much fear of survival, which is why an Equal Money System will assist us to stop who we’ve become. We are so busy trying to exist that we haven’t questioned our own placement in how we are actually living against ourselves and each other as we continue to support the current systems.

I am grateful how through Desteni I Process – I have begun to stop myself and see and understand how effective "Self-Honesty" really is.  How breathing and becoming aware of myself and asking myself in self-honesty, what am I accepting and allowing myself to exist as – so as to see where to apply self-forgiveness for how dependent my intentions have been as I’ve participated according to my mind of thoughts, feelings and emotions.  To exist here free from the energetic outflows, and yet be completely enjoying of myself and others within a Principle of Equality. That which considers all, where my words and actions are one in the same, as All as One as Equal.

It’s a moment by moment process in which I’ve fallen, but I stand back up in self-honesty through self-forgiveness.  Stopping support of systems. Stopping separation.  That’s the difference between honesty and self-honesty. Self-Honesty assist us to stop self-interest and greed,  it builds self-trust, and assists me to see that when I communicate with another, I am communicating with myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and pretend to live as I defined myself as honest – instead of seeing and realizing that the correction of self deception means to find a solution as all as one as equal in every moment as I prove my self in honesty to me in self-honesty in and as my words and actions in the interest of oneness and equality for all living beings.

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Americans Gone Wild – The Solution is Here!

“I can’t dislike you, but I will say this to you: you haven’t got long before you are all going to kill yourselves, because you are all crazy. And you can project it back at me … but I am only what lives inside each and every one of you.”  – Charles Manson.  This quote by Charles Manson was recently written on someone’s face book wall.  Written by a man most have called a monster, but, I see some truth in his words. Then I read an article called ‘Americans Gone Wild’, where the author states: ‘All over the nation people are losing it and are literally going crazy’.  I will provide a link where you can read the complete article.  I don’t agree with all that he has written, however it’s worth the read if one requires proof of what we’ve become.  It’s interesting that there are literally tons of articles and facts showing proof that this world requires a solution quickly. However, there have been no real solutions, only more of the same shit that have brought us to this point.  We must stop. I have only seen one Real Solution that will benefit us all.  That solution, is an Equal Money System. 
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Stop yourself from ‘going crazy’ and/or being ‘possessed’ by your mind – The Solution:

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Article: Americans Gone Wild

Demonology: Revealing the world of Demons

Forgiving Me Once Again of Spite

I sat straight up in bed suddenly from  the dream that I was seeing.  In my dream were people from my past who have meant the most to me throughout my life.  The ones who stood out the most was my mom who died over 9 years ago. Then there was an uncle who I was once extremely close to,  and a woman who I once called my best friend.  All of my children and grandchildren were in my dream, but they didn’t play a part except as an acknowledgement from me as being a part of me.

I was walking with my mom and my uncle as well as my best friend.  And even though we were all walking together there was a strange awareness of our separation.  My mom suddenly faded away right before my eyes,  and strangely enough that was ok with me as I waved to her goodbye. My uncle and my best friend however were in my face, so to speak, as if they were standing before me for me to see myself.  Then both my uncle and my friend suddenly nodded their heads at me, as if to bid me farewell as they turned and walked slowly away from me. 

It was then that I became aware of the most beautiful and enormous dark chocolate horse who was standing to the left of me.  He had been beside me all along and I had only just now noticed him.  His body glistened of beauty and as I stood there taking in his beauty, he looked into my eyes and nodded at me as well.  Then without saying a word I heard him say, wake up, see who you are.  That’s when I sat straight up in bed and I started coughing and there was a wheezing noise coming from the center of my chest and it took me a second to catch my breath.  I was so very thirsty so I went for a drink of water. As I sat drinking my water I became aware of my dream and what it represented of me.

I had just witnessed for myself how I have been standing in separation of all life, and how easy it is to fool oneself into believing that you are facing yourself.  I am grateful for how my physical body assisted me.  Because in the center of my chest where there was congestion I was now aware of where I have been holding myself in and as spite.  If you’ve ever made a spit ball where you dampen a piece of paper and then roll it in a ball – then you’ll understand what I mean when I say that I have been carrying and existing as this rather large size ball of spite right in the center of my chest where I’ve been judging and spiting others, only now seeing that they’re parts of me to be forgiven. 

In my dream, my mom represented the part of me that I have forgiven. My uncle and my best friend represents the part of me that I resist seeing the most and what I hold against others in condemnation and spite. I was having difficulty deciding my next mind construct to walk through in my Desteni I Process class – this assisted me to see where I have stood in separation from others as myself and where to begin to face me in self-honesty and release what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be through self-forgiveness.  I begin here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condemn and spite others instead of seeing that I am in fact existing as the point of my spite as I have existed in separation from others as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to betray myself in believing that I was seeing myself clearly when I was actually existing as spite.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become distant as I eased into a spitefulness unrecognizable to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to barter with myself as I held others in contempt not realizing that I was holding myself hostage within my own mind delusion of hate and spite.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to park myself within a corner of my mind where I judged another not seeing that I was becoming that which I judging.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the part of me that I fear the most where I became uneasy, angry and dissatisfied toward the actions of others not realizing that it is only me that I am uneasy, angry and dissatisfied with as I existed as that which I spited. 

I Stop. I Breathe and I face me in self-honesty. I stop existing as condemnation and spite. I forgive myself and I direct myself according to and as the Principle of Equality.

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Desteni I Process, It’s the Best that you will be

There’s a Self-development & Leadership Course called Desteni I Process. It is how I have come to see and realize how I have existed within a point of self-victimization for, well, as far back as I am able to recall.  I became quite capable of generating from my thought patterns of emotionally charged anger, sadness and an overall disappointment in myself which I hid from myself and projected unto my world.  The energies became similar to addictions in that I didn’t want to let go of them, because I had defined myself according to that which I had accepted and allowed myself to experience through my own participation and creation according to the direction of my mind as a consciousness system.  I am seeing how I sought to blame and manipulate as I remained in anger while I blamed the betrayal and deception of myself unto something and/or someone separate from me.  Desteni I Process has assisted me in stopping and is very effective in bringing you to a point of self-understanding in a manner that is quite humbling and self-rewarding where self-forgiveness gifts you self. Sign up! It’s the Best that you will be

Sharing Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to a picture presentation within my mind of the playground where I had a fight where I believed it be a ganging up on me to such a degree that when I see others gathered cheering with regards to the misfortune of another I associate it according to this past picture of myself where I accepted and allowed myself to be and become sadness, disappointment and ridicule where I then blamed others for how I was experiencing myself – instead of facing me in self-honesty and taking self-responsibility for what I was accepting and allowing myself to exist as.  I stop. I breathe, I direct me according to and as all as one as Equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become enslaved and controlled within my own self-defined existence where I have not wanted to give up my perception of power for fear that I will lose myself and/or lose control over my life, my world and my experience of myself, thus I allowed energetic charges of sadness and anger which I generated because took the words and/or actions of another personal and shifted blame onto others so as to not take responsibility for what I experienced within myself which was an experience of disappointment within myself for having existed according to and as the direction of and as a mind consciousness system. I stop. I breathe and I direct myself according to and as the Principle of Equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project blame and mockery upon another in judgment as I secretly ridiculed others for not taking self-responsibility when in fact, I was the one who had not faced myself within the point of manipulation and self-victimization. I stop. I breathe and I direct myself in self-honesty according to and as all as one as equal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear ridicule from others as a way of supporting myself as the victim where I would keep myself hidden from myself in order to not have to face myself within all that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become where I generated emotionally charged patterns in which I participated in to further avoid facing myself within all that is here. I stop. I breathe and I direct myself within and as all as one as Equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within energetically charged emotions of sadness and anger in order to enforce my own self-made victimization according to ridicule and judgments in which I placed upon others – instead I stop. I breathe and I face me in self-honesty. I direct myself as I take self-responsibility and become self-accountable for all living beings here, as all as one as Equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid seeing what I now see and realize, which is, that I am aware that when I have experienced myself as less than another, it’s because I was hiding and suppressing myself from everyone around me, including me because I knew that I now had to survive in the circumstances and the experiences I had created within myself and I now see and realize that my experience of myself has nothing to do with society, because this world reflects me to me as a projection of myself, so whatever I see in another and/or experience of others, is actually existent within and as me. I breathe, I forgive myself as me, as you, as all as one as Equal.


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Don’t Ever Doubt – The ‘Desteni I Process’

I just completed the mind construct with regards to my ex-husband, who I was married to for 8 years. Through the ‘Desteni I Process/SRA2’, the lessons and tools they provide is how I’ve been able to walk the pattern/construct through and release it. I always referred to the marriage as that of mental and physical abuse. However, I now understand how I and I alone projected and created myself into the marriage and I am completely responsible for how I experienced myself.

As I was writing the memories and the time line of the mind construct this past month – It was imperative that I remain breathing because I noticed specifically how the pattern within the construct was attempting to manifest here as me within the physical. It was very interesting to say the least, because I began to bite my fingernails. So I had to be able to stop myself and breathe and it was interesting because the only time in my life that I have ever bitten my nails was during this particular relationship. A specific memory that I was writing was when I began to notice myself wanting to bite my nails and it was the memory at the beginning of our eight year marriage which was the exact point where I began to bite my nails. Let me explain further.

The pattern began within a mind construct formed when I was a child with regards to my step-dad, (which was the previous mind construct I just finished)  how I blamed and manipulated him by believing him as abusive toward me when that was not the case.  As a child I created the perception of love/hate within situations where I experienced inner conflicts of emotional/feelings of turmoil.  ‘Love’ being defined by me as, ‘those who loved me and cared and supported me would do so through physical hugs etc’.  When I didn’t receive that they way I thought/believed I should, then I would experience inner turmoil where I would then act out by crying/isolating myself,  and/or misbehaving, and subsequently, I would then get into trouble by receiving physical spankings from my step dad. Which I then defined and associated within an idea that ‘love’ will hurt and abuse me.

I then began to experience myself as the ‘victim’. Powerless towards authoritative figures, in which I defined as someone who will demand something from me, and if I don’t give in, then they will hurt and abuse me. The relationship that I had with my ex-husband was merely me playing out the pattern which was charging/maintaining and keeping me locked into an already designed mind construct. Why?  Because, I had established a point, that my step-dad had authority over me and I gave my power away to the emotional turmoil that would come forth from within me. Then as that perception manifested of me being powerless towards him, I created the belief that he abused me. Thus experiencing myself as the victim, I confirmed this point of self-victimization within myself by running off crying which manifested further as I created more fear within myself where I then created a belief that I was being abused by him. Which for me represented a point of authority and me experiencing myself as powerless, and my step dad as being the authority that I was powerless to.  lol – It took me a bit to be able to write that out where it made sense in words to me!

I continued this pattern further with my relationship with my ex-husband and I compounded further points of self-victimization. Because instead of running away crying as I did when I was a child, I would instead suppress myself further in fear of showing my tears in front of him and withdrew further into myself, where I then began to bite my finger nails, which I had never done before. This point was a protection-mechanism and was the basis of me forming the habit of biting my nails. And the whole point of the self-victimization pattern continued to charge itself as I continued to participate as it. All of which was me manipulating myself within the fear of being alone because I feared that I could not provide for myself. Another example also of how an Equal Money System would assist people – because with Equal Money, people will be able to move out and take care of themselves and not further compound the already existing mind construct, but instead begin to face themselves in self-honesty. Free from the fear of surviving!

If you’re reading this and you’re not familiar with the Desteni I Process – then you’re going to want to get familiar, because it is amazing how I’ve been able to locate the pattern within a mind construct in which I created, where I have existed and walked as, in self-victimization, self-manipulation, self-belief and self-judgment, where I have been stuck in and as, for my WHOLE life. I can now walk the self-corrective application in self-honesty and self-trust. Never will I accept and allow the pattern to be who I am ever again!  What a release…Ok, I’m still writing self-forgiveness on this point and will share here soon.

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