Tag Archive | dumbed down

Day 207: Moms on Meds

For context Read:
5 Ways Medication Can Make You a Better Mom

Xanax Makes Me a Better Mom

A record number of moms and dads are taking anti-anxiety medication and anti-depressants. Statistics show that One In Four women take some kind of prescribed ‘mental health medication’ whether that be an antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication or both.

Almost 6 years ago, I was one of those moms. At the time I was prescribed 2 different kinds of anti-depressants, and had been on them for approximately 12 years. I was also regularly taking xanax – which I first began taking in 1988 shortly after my first ‘anxiety attack’. So, I know what it’s like to experience an anxiety attack and what it is to convince yourself that you have to have that little pill to pop in order to assist yourself to cope throughout the day. I know what it’s like to be a mom on meds and I’m very aware of the downhill cycle of fear, suppression, guilt and self-denial.

So let’s look closer at what is written within the article: 5 Ways Medication Can Make You a Better Mom. Where she lists the 5 ways that medication can make you a better mom:

She writes: “5 Ways Meds Can Make You a Better Mom:
1. Help make the oftentimes terrifying world seem like a less terrifying place to raise children.
2. Lessen out-of-control mommy guilt (which, left unchecked, can lead to/aggravate depression).
3. Make it easier to manage the stress of juggling more work/family/life responsibilities than human beings are meant to juggle at one time.
4. Help regulate sleep patterns/avoid crippling fatigue.
5. Help keep the everyday emotional ups-and-downs of your children in perspective.”
moms on meds

The five ways listed from my perspective are actually a list of fears, reasons and justifications. All of which I also used to justify to myself why it was OK for me to pop a pill and numb myself down into a feel good state of mind, and in doing so failed to face the truth of me, of who and how I was existing as in self-denial within a world/money system that is to failing the children of our world.

The fact is, our world is a scary and terrifying place to raise a child, what with the threat of hunger, poverty and war making it’s way to doorsteps of us all. We actually don’t have another moment to waste when it comes to becoming responsible enough to raise our children to become the kind of human being that will support our world according to what’s best for all – because as of now, that kind of human being has never actually existed and our World clearly reflects the truth of that.

When we talk about treating depression we have to look at the facts.  My experience was that combining anti-depressant medication with anti-anxiety medication, the combination of the two,  actually increased my depression. Anyone whose taken anti-anxiety medication for an extended period of time knows that one have to increase their dose over time to get any benefit and that long term use in itself causes more and more depression.  It’s like putting a band-aid on a wound that will never heal.  Initially, when I decided to stop taking anti-anxiety medication and anti-depressants, I did so under strict Doctor care because it is extremely dangerous to abruptly stop them, so please, seek medical assistance before doing so.

The first medication I stopped was Xanax. I beLIEved it was my savior in times when I would have extreme panic attacks – so bad that I would have to sit with my head between my legs while my husband would get a cold wash rag for the back of my neck  because I would feel like I was going to pass out. The attacks would be triggered after I had spent much time in my head participating in thoughts over and over and then the fear would become overwhelming as I would accept the emotional baggage of guilt and remorse.

The physical withdrawals from stopping caused my entire body to feel like it was at times vibrating at a high speed. I also experienced a sort of mental-paranoia where I wanted to isolate myself from my world and everybody in it. I also experienced physical symptoms of fever and chills on and off for a couple of months. I also had extreme insomnia in the beginning days of stopping, followed by days where I had to push myself to get out of bed.

What I’ve realized, is that xanax changes your mind only for a moment,  which is actually only suppressing the point, which does and will return for self to face.

When I stopped taking anti-depressants after being on them for 12 years, I did so by tapering off of them during a 3 month period. During that time I experienced anxiety in the daytime, insomnia at night, and the dreaded head symptoms, which vary individually – where one may experience vertigo, lightheadedness, difficulty with balance, blurred vision, tremors, restlessness and hallucinations, burning or tingling sensations in the skin, as well as flu like symptoms may be experienced for up to 3 months. I personally experienced some of all the above symptoms when I stopped.

The Most Important Part of my full recovery was/is walking the Desteni I Process and applying the tools they provide.  Without it, I would have never seen myself through to the point of a full recovery. I was also able to stop the use of at least 12 prescription medicines as well as stopping my addiction to cigarette and marijuana smoking, and, I was also able to stop an addiction to gambling.

It’s very important that one educate and investigate for themself each and every drug that one is considering starting, to be able to completely understand the damage that using them imposes on the physical body. Because the decision to pop a pill, or smoke a joint, or even have that drink, should not be taken lightly.  Desteni I Process is key because it assists one to understand and stop self-abusive patterns/behaviors.

One must understand that whatever we ‘think’ we’re avoiding by doing so – whether that reason be whether it be to ‘regulate sleep patters/avoid crippling fatigue’ and/or to ‘help keep the everyday emotional ups-and-downs of our children in perspective’ – whatever that justifying reason is, we must understand that the point will and does return. Depression is Not a disease, it is a conditioned pattern, a construct of our mind.

Thus whatever our means of avoiding self/distraction is – whether it be popping a pill or having that drink, (or even distracting ourself by way of entertainment) we are only prolonging the inevitability of the fact that we are here to face who we are and direct ourselves to redesign who we are to bring about a World according to what’s best for all.

As a mom I know how moms think. And the truth is, as moms, we realize that popping a pill or drinking alcohol, or taking that illegal drug is not the solution for helping ourself raise our children. We see, realize and understand that the systems in place that make our world turn, like for instance the Education system and the Money System are Not providing the support we require in order to raise healthy mentally stable and responsible human beings.

One mom is quoted as saying that she has realized how “we’re just not wired’ to handle the demands of raising children”. I completely agree and this is so important…No one has ever taught us how to become responsible for ourself or our world. However, there is a course now available that assists the individual to begin to understand what’s really going on within their mind of thoughts, feelings and emotions – where one learns how to stabilize and direct themself, and, it’s FREE! . Suggest you check it out: DIP Lite

Many times before I tried to stop my addictive behaviors and when I couldn’t stop, I looked for someone to blame and existed in patterns of guilt.  It was only with the tools offered through Desteni that I was able to completely stop.  It’s been almost 6 years and I no longer have daily thoughts or desires to cope with the use of drugs, and, my panic attackes have completely stopped.  DIP Lite can assist with Real Self-Change because we are taught to understand why and how we have specific thought patterns within our mind and how to stop them.

So, it’s time we asked ourselfes how our behavior is teaching our children to become increasingly dependent upon an already abusive world/money system? And, what are we missing when we’re not ‘here’ in full capacity as breath? Why is it that we keep failing our children in that we are Not prepared to lead by example in creating a world that protects and provides for them? Why is it that we take actions to make ourselves feel better instead of supporting a world/money system that will support All Life, according to what’s best for All?

When we create a world where fear and the struggle to survive life is eliminated through a system that supports everybody according to what’s best for all – we’ll stop searching for a way to ‘cope’, a way to ‘feel better’ – because Life itself will become one of ‘Give as you’d like to Receive’ – which will bring about an end to the feeling of self-sacrifice.

Day 129: Money System Shows No Mercy

Walking the Self-forgiveness here for how I experienced myself today within our current world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system which supports us in finding new ways to hurt each other which is what we’re good at.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel ‘less than’ the woman sitting behind a desk at the dental office where I was making an appointment when I /she realized that I didn’t have the’ exact’ amount of money to pay as a deposit for the major dental work that I am needing.

I forgive myself for not realizing how I belittle myself in/as fear when I don’t have enough money for that which my physical body requires in order for it to function properly.

I forgive myself for not realizing how it only takes seconds for me to play out different scenarios within my mind with regards to how and what to say in order to manipulate/persuade someone into seeing things my way.

I forgive myself for not realizing how I react and interact within my physical reality with other human beings, where within my mind, I immediately scan, assess, compare, compete and contemplate how can I win over the person I’m communicating with in order to acheive the end result I’m seeking for, and within that, I forgive myself for not realizing the point where I stop having a physical reality relationship with another and instead begin having only a mind relationship with as/them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to change the tone of my voice when talking to another to one that will create an illusion of myself as being helpless and hopeless in order to prove my point of need.

I forgive myself for not realizing how we manifest and create a world/money system that we constantly support within the context of how we exist within our relationships with each other through our mind as consciousness – instead of who we are in total support of and as each other through and as our physical body and our physical world/reality/existence.

I forgive myself for not realizing that within our current world/money system we see each other as numbers and our number is dependent upon the amount of money we have in our pocket/bank account.

I forgive myself for the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach in realizing the seriousness of our world/money system where people are paying monthly premiums for health and dental insurance yet can’t afford to pay the deductible and/or the pre-payment to cover what their insurance won’t pay.

I forgive mysef that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anger towards our world/money system that labels people as argumentative and insensitive when one questions the policies, procedures and rules of a system that shows No Mercy except for the minority who have All the money, while the Majority of Us, have settled for remaining slaves to the very Money System that CANNOT exist without OUR CONTINUED SUPPORT.

I forgive myself for not realizing how we are completely at the Mercy of our word/money system where we are locked into a reality of money within a mind-reality supported in/as energy and as that, we have No consideration or regard for each other and/or for our existence as a whole.

I commit myself to stop separating myself from our current world/money system in realizing that I am equal to and one with how and what exists here, thus, it is my responsibility to show how the Solution of Equal Money will be that which will end who we are as slaves and thus stop that which what we have resisted in separation of as Life itself.

I commit myself to support a solution that will end all suffering and abuse and thus create relationships that are supportive of who we are as our physical bodies and our physical reality.

I commit myself to communicate with me as my physical body, to thus support our physical reality in assuring that life on earth become that which supports the physicality of every living being with the utmost support possible.

I commit myself to show how humanity is a slave to and as consciousness where we’ve accepted and allowed our mind to direct us and have thus not yet realized that we have manifested Hell on Earth and how with Equal Money we are able to support All living beings to live life in dignity.

I commit myself to show how our current world/money system does not have to continue as it is where the majority are slaves to the few who have everything, to thus show how through the Peaceful Solution of Equal Money we Can/Will manifest Heaven on Earth.

Day 121: Paybacks

Read the following for context: More than 20,000 spared jail reoffend: Alarming figures ‘prove community service isn’t working’

I forgive myself for not realizing how we as a humanity have been suffering from our acceptance and allowance of environmental impulses as the result of an unequal system wherein we live out our lives in/as paybacks, thus, I forgive myself for not realizing that the rules of law within our unequal world/money system is/has always been that of slavery, no matter the sentencing spared – because for the already down and out – where ‘doing time’, is in fact all any of us have ever known – to be spared jail in place of having to work, is just another sentencing to/as a slave within our world/money system, which doesn’t honor one another as being substantial parts of the community.

I forgive myself for not realizing how paying the consequences for how one has to survive – such as overworked and under paid – when one is uneducated and underskilled proves just how corrupt our world/system is – in how the enslaved/poor often have no real clue of what they’re being charged to payback and how many have lived out their lives in defense mode, dumbed down, where we/they have believed we/they can’t assist ourself to establish a point of self-trust because of constantly blaming and/or our constant competing against each other to survive.

I forgive myself for not realizing that when the only motivation for living is one of constant struggle for money within an unequal system, then the natural order of the enslaved society will be one of desperation within feelings of betrayal – where people feel that they don’t matter anyway so why consider taking self-responsibility for a system that remains unequal.

I forgive myself for not realizing how what I think, feel and fear is how and what I am accepting and allowing as an energetic representation of/as me which has always been within the starting point of self-interest and greed.

I forgive myself for not realizing that punishment and fines has not and never will be the solution for a world/money system as the one we exist in, where there is suffering, overworked and misplaced people who are running on stress in every direction just trying to survive their enslavement. Thus, I commit myself to show how people are only acting in/as the product of their enslavement and that it is going to take coming together peacefully as a GROUP to Support a Solution for Life according to what’s best for All, and how the Only Solution is that of Equal Money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am a victim to/of our current world/money system and for living in fear and self-doubt.

I commit myself to show how through self-forgiveness, I am able to overcome victimization and stand in/as a group in support of an Equal Money System to once and for all bring an end to enslavement.

I commit myself to comprehend and thus assist others to understand how/what it is we’ve created, to bring an end to our manifested consequences of/as suffering and pain, to thus Stop who we are as the uneducated and dumbed down and to see that We are the ONE who Decides who we are, that we Are capable of manifesting Heaven on Earth through Equal Money.

I commit myself to support a system where every Human Being is given adequate Education and the proper skills to be able to enjoy all the amenities of living a life in/as dignity.

I commit myself to a world economic system wherein the definition of ‘Community Paybacks’ becomes Living expressions of “Love thy Neighbor as Thyself”.

I commit myself to a world economic system where people are not just working to live but instead are living in support of each other, equal to and one with their neighbors.

I commit myself to Forgive myself daily for that which I think, feel and fear and have accepted and allowed, to thus stop the representation of/as me within the starting point of self-interest and greed.

I commit myself to direct myself daily in self-honesty in order to stop and see what the hell I’ve become within and as the roles of/as characters and personalities which I am responsible for according to how our world/money system exists.

I commit myself to show how every single being within our existence matters Equally, and that what we have accepted and allowed can and WILL change with Equal Money – through a Democratic system of One Man, One Vote, where the method of Voting Will matter, and Life on Earth will flourish, according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to let All be Dignified within this World through Equal Money.