Tag Archive | dementia

Day 253: While I was Sleeping…

While I was sleeping the other night I had this dream, it had my mom in it. My mom passed away almost 11 years ago and after doing a Mother-Daughter Mind Construct through Desteni I Process some 2 years ago, I’ve not dreamt about her since. So this was interesting to have this dream because I rarely dream and so when I do, I’ve been able to use it to assist myself in my process. This particular dream assisted me to realize something while I was sleeping. Here‘s how:

In my dream, me and my mom were looking at stuffed animals, specifically stuffed animals that could electronically move which caused them to be especially ‘life like’. Now, when my mom was alive, she didn’t really care about owning a Real-Life dog or a cat, but she loved buying the toy like stuffed animals and would place them throughout her entire house.

It’s strange to look at this point with the memories of myself back then. I mean, at the time I was in love with how she collected so many knick-knacks, like stuffed animals and such. She created an environment that represented coziness and comfort for me within my mind. This was how I experienced myself in my dream,  I was Witness to how I was being comforted by my mom’s spending habits!  Comforted by the ‘things’ my mom collected. Her ‘pretty’s’ as she called them. For me, her collections, was like having one’s own game of thrones.

I saw how when I would walk into her house, I felt like the world wasn’t gonna eat me alive. I felt safe within the ‘idea in my mind‘ that ‘this is my mom’s house’, my home, and no matter how much I screw up/ fall, mom will always be here to pick up the pieces for me – to show me the way. As that, I didn’t know the first thing about taking responsibility for myself much less take responsibility for how our World exists.  When I investigate the ‘real’ relationship my mom and I had, it wasn’t anything like what my mind would have had me believe.

The reality was, my mom and I simply existed in personality designs as mother vs daughter. As we both got older, we found our place in each other through what we were both willing to accept and allow of ourselves  – the kind of acceptance where you hide within pretty words and pretty ideas, never looking deeper because you fear what you might see.  Our relationship had become a series of sweeping reality under the rug so to speak.  Never confronting the Reality of ourself and our world.  So for me this dream was All about showing me to myself and it was quite humbling,  because Everything about it was for me to see as an example of what it’s time to Let Go of.

Artwork By: Maya Harel
Equalmoney33Now this dream came about 10 days after Bernard Poolman‘s passing and it’s interesting because my relationship with Bernard had the obvious thing in common to the relationship I had with my mom in that, it brought me great comfort. Comfort in knowing Bernard Poolman was here and could always be depended upon.  I’d rather say that I didn’t make Bernard out to be a God, but, I kinda did.  I mean, he was the finest example of what a Human being can be as anyone I’ve ever been acquainted with.

So, to be clear, what I’m trying to say is, I see, realize and understand that there’s much to do here within our World. That what must be done here to make Life acceptable is more than any one human alone can accomplish. The fact is, it’s going to take us All to sort out all that we’ve accepted and allowed as what and how our World currently exist. I mean, thousands of children are starving daily and all we can think to do is to keep giving people tons of money to entertain us. That doesn’t make sense that a few should have everything while the majority have little to nothing.

This is what I realized while I was sleeping, that it’s time to Stand Responsible for the Relationship we have with Ourself and Each other.   To Stop living on time as emotions and feelings and reactions.  To Stop looking for Gods and Start Manifesting Heaven on Earth.

It’s time to support each other within the realization that this is our purpose for being here.  To come together and make sure Everyone has Everything they require for a Life of Dignity – that they’re able to Practically care for their Physical body and this Physical Reality.

We’ve got to Give to Humanity the Solution of What’s best for All and Replace our current Money System.

Let’s get it done…


“I commit myself to show that when the starting point is life equally respected in each other, the fundamental premise to give so that you may receive is immediately grasped to such an extent that irrational fear evaporates.” Bernard Poolman

“I commit myself to restore the common sense trust in the physical reality that is the giver of life, to restore order in an irrational , illusory world of consciousness.” Bernard Poolman

“I commit myself to demonstrate the oneness interdependency between all parts of the physical realm that together form the body that is life through which we have been destroying the Earth, and our life will end and therefore we cannot continue to live as if we are separate of the real reality without permanent consequence.” Bernard Poolman


  Suggested blogs to follow:

Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life


Activist’s Journey To Life

Day 213: How is the Crook Not a Crook and Who is Not a Liar?

For Context READ: Remembering who they were

“Pharmaceutical company spending on marketing far exceeds that spent on research. In Canada, $1.7 billion was spent in 2004 to market drugs to physicians; in the United States, $21 billion was spent in 2002. In 2005 money spent on pharmaceutical marketing in the US was estimated at $29.9 billion with one estimate as high as $57 billion. When the US numbers are broken down, 56% was free samples, 25% was detailing of physicians, 12.5% was direct to user advertising, 4% on hospital detailing, and 2% on journal ads.” Pharmaceutical Marketing

Artwork By Matti Freeman

Love is the Light that Hypnotize, Blind to the Fear that Paralyze


When the Majority of us support the Pharmaceutical Corporations who Manipulate us regularily through  advertisements such as is presented in the above linkThen, How is the Crook Not a Crook and Who is Not a Liar?

When Pictures are used to trigger memories within the Alzheimer patient, where long term memories are triggered through using pictures/ideas and the imagination of when they were young – which is applicable because an Alzheimer patient experiences loss of short term memory, thus,,

How criminal is it when the manipulation is made to feel good, where Alzheimer’s, a crippling manifested systematic illness of/as our Mind as Consciosness – is made into the illusion of a beautiful thing?   Where one becomes driven – for the sake of Money, to ask our loved one’s Doctor to prescribe the exciting new drug that promises to moderate and control the Alzheimer patient so then they won’t be a bother to anyone anymore…

Come On!  There is No cure. No miracle drug for how Dumb one have to be to accept and allow the insanity of our current world/money system to continue as it is,  where the Corporation control us and we accept it, because we’re preprogrammed to accept it, and yet, we don’t have to continue this way!

We have got to question how much money is being spent through television, movies, advertising programs, news programs and political campaigns, etc.  Question what amount of Money does it take to guarantee our individual and continued participation in order to further support the Major Corporation?  Connect the dots, do the math.

See how All relationships are profit driven by Corporations who Control how Life is experienced by the Majority of us who still refuse to acknowledge the fact that we’re in some serious trouble here on Earth.


To Stop Supporting the Corporation isn’t so easy.  The Solution begins when we begin to invidually and together as a Groupquestion the systems that are currently in place within Our World, because every one of them are Profit Driven.  Question why and how it is that no one moves themself without first being motivated from within as their mind through money, profit and greed…

Investing in the Practical Solution of an Equal Money System,  where everyone will be given the support and the opportunity to learn how to correct their symptom-driven, thought and feeling/emotional functioning process – to one where we are able to Stop the dehabilitating functions of and as our mind/physical relationship, and Begin to Create Life according to what’s Best for All.

Join for Free:  Desteni I Process Lite – Learn Practical Life Skills Online

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to realize that with the irrationality of human nature accepted as incurable, and with scientists being unable to identify with certainty what caused the mental disorders of irrationality, I fail to see that by implication the mental health professionals is subject to the same disease and are not experts to which we can subject ourselves with trust.” Bernard Poolman @ Day 17: The Trap of Dementia, Part 1


Heaven on Earth

“I commit myself to challenge the accepted research through presenting common sense solutions that will lead to a mentally healthy society.

I commit myself to show that when the starting point is life equally respected in each other, the fundamental premise to give so that you may receive is immediately grasped to such an extent that irrational fear evaporates.

I commit myself to the re-education of the family to be the foundation of mental health of every child being born by demonstrating to parents that parental irrational fears based on love, cause the greatest destruction in producing mentally unstable adults.” Bernard Poolman @ Day 17: The Trap of Dementia, Part 1

Day 49: Master of Disguise

I’ve kept my 23 month old granddaughter Emmeline almost 5 days a week since she was 2 months old. She has always enjoyed her feet massaged and the touch of my hands on her feet and her feet held in my hands formed unexpected moments of bonding between us, proving the calming power of touch. From the first moment I began massaging her feet, her facial expression and her physical expression immediately relaxed as if to say, ahh, thank you.

Things are changing though. Emmeline is almost 2 and her sounds are turning into words which are becoming sentences. Her physical body is becoming patterns of her mind forming as consciousness. It’s actually very easy to see when one has a look, how our children are carbon copies of us, and we are copies of our parents, and obviously, they were copies of their parents.

I realized very early with Emmeline how when babies begin to sound words they are like parrots mimicking it’s owner, and so far I’ve done alright in stopping reacting to/towards her. That’s not to say that I’ve never reacted to her, but mostly, she’s assisted me and has taught me more about myself than my children and not because of them, it’s because of the difference in who and what I accept and allow, as who I am now that I’m walking the Journey to Life, a 7 Year Process of facing myself in self-honesty through writing and self-forgiveness.

Sculptures by Patrick Dougherty

Which brings me to my point – today Emme and I were coloring and kind of lounging around when she propped her feet in my lap similar to any other day. I put the colors aside and began to lightly massage her feet and I saw how she was different. Her eyes immediately focused on my hands massaging her feet and it’s like I could see the wheel turning in her mind. And for the first time, she suddenly pulled her feet away and let out a squeaky giggle and said ‘that tickles’. Her giggle wasn’t her spontaneous whispering giggle that’s accompanied with a slight shrugging within her chest area – no, this was triggered within her unconscious memory from someone she’d seen and heard react to having their feet tickled, and she was mimicking their behaviour. I knew that she wasn’t really experiencing a tickle and that she doesn’t understand that her reactive consciousness behaviour wasn’t real. Her eyes had confusion within them – as if to say ‘I don’t get why I did that’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need and require to live in fear to protect me and be safe thus I unconsciously taught my children fear so that they may be safe and protected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fear will protect me and keep me safe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to laugh at babies/children within a personality of thoughts of ‘how cute they are acting’, instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that they’re mimicking the reactions and behaviours we’ve taught them through constraints and limitations covering up the realness of who we are hiding in fear within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit the physical expression of myself and my children through how I taught them to behave to have manners that I believed were a necessary part of society and in doing so I’ve limited myself and them to become that which society expects of a well behaved working class slave.

Sculptures by Patrick Dougherty

I forgive myself for what I have accepted and allowed within what happens to fear according to what we make fear do to us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to withhold myself from physical expression through touch because I made a decision about myself a long time ago in fear, that when someone touches me they’re judging me, but it’s only me, judging me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when as a child I feared what I saw when I saw my mom naked for the first time and heard voices within my secret mind judging her – was the moment I chose to abdicate myself as who I am as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that as a child I felt controlled from the outside as well as from within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when we argue, we are fighting for our lives – through the eyes of children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that we’re attracted to the emotional qualities in another that we have accepted within ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that shame and guilt are masters of disguise.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there’s actually nothing I am able to do that will forever disguise myself from me.

I commit myself to show parents that the passing on of the sins of the fathers is only real because we allow it to be and that the Real Solution for Life will value and honor All life per the words of Jesus: “Love Thy Neighbour as Yourself” = Equal Money

I commit myself to me in accepting and allowing the expression of me as my physical body within and as self honesty to emerge as who I am standing up for and as All Life.

“I commit myself to show that the generational damage parenting inflict on Life is KNOWN, yet accepted, allowed and justified.” ~ Bernard Poolman

“I commit myself to make sure parenting becomes that which will protect and honour Life as the Only Real Value in the Universe.” ~ Bernard Poolman

“I commit myself to show that history is the evidence that parenting has never been in the best interest of a child on Earth, and that the parent has always abused authority to produce the child as a copy of the parent that repeats the same abusive patterns with feeble justifications like it’s God’s Will or that it’s is just Human Nature. ” ~ Bernard Poolman
From: Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 44: In the Name of Love

For further Support Read:
Creation’s Journey to Life
Heaven’s Journey to Life
Earthy’s Journey to Life