Tag Archive | cross

Day 116: The War Within in the Name of God

Realizing the nature of my war within. Thus, the following self-forgiveness. – –

I forgive myself for all the times that I accepted and allowed myself to make choices and decisions about going to war against other countries, land and people based upon my belief of and in the name of God.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the destructive nature of and as the secrets of my mind to be that which has consumed and directed me to such a point that I wonder if I even have the right to refer to myself as a living being whose only ever existed within and as war while never questioning the real nature of War in the Name of God.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become a living expression of war within myself in the Name of God, wherein self hate and fear I surrounded myself within and as lies I told myself about a God who only ever existed within and as my mind as consciousness – where I pretended my belief in a God made me feel better, when it actually didn’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to call myself a human while I followed and acted like others using words like hope and faith in the Name of God and never actually expressed who I am in self-honesty within and as a living physical expression of tenderness and compassion as that of being humane.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sympathy for others within the starting point of casting impressions from/as characters/memories/personalities of and as my mind within the starting point of fear of survival in fearing the despair of another may fall upon me as I ran from the War Within in the Name of God.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so consumed within and as my mind in filling my own wants, needs and desires that I didn’t want to stop and see how in the name of God is how war within begins and manifest into and as our world.

I forgive myself for not realizing what those in war have to actually live and become as a living expression of evil in order to physically kill others just to fulfill the demands of those of us who say we require defense in the Name of God.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my support of wars to kill other human beings in the name of God, all the while not realizing how/what the acceptance of such an allowance is creating and manifesting within me as my physical body and our physical reality.

I forgive myself for not realizing that money is the light of God on Earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to warship in the name of God those who manipulate from the starting point of their own war within in order to profit in/as power of money above life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in the Name of God beLIEve that I’m not responsible for the wars within this world, that I’m innocent, when in-fact I am responsible for accepting and allowing it to continue while I quietly ignore it as I go about my daily life in/of and as self-interest.

I forgive myself that I haven’t realized that our problem is the very nature of ourselves as our mind as consciousness – which is the God we’re actually beLieving in as being real – as we accept and allow ourselves to be directed as it, and enslaved to it through our world/money system – instead of seeing realizing and understanding, that it is I who decides who I am. It is I who decides to direct me according to what’s best for All – to hell with the War within in the Name of God – because through writing and self-forgiveness, I am able to see who and what I can become and walk as, in self-honesty, thus, I commit myself to creating and manifesting a world where life on Earth is a living expression of equality and oneness as Heaven on Earth according to what’s Best for All.

I commit myself to show how in the Name of God we as a humanity have Never taken self-responsibility for ourselves and for how our World exists.

I commit myself to show how in the Name of God we have forsaken that which is real as our Physical Body and our Physical Reality.

I commit myself to show how in the Name of God we lie, cheat, steal and kill our neighbors just so we can be and have more.

I commit myself to show how in the Name of God we live out our Fears of Survival, and then we Die.

I commit myself to show how in the Name of God we have never known who we can be in and as Self-Honesty and Self-Trust.

I commit myself to show how we Can Forgive our selves through Self-forgiveness

I commit myself to show that humanity requires real compassion and tenderness through first providing support for our Physical bodies and our Physical Reality through an Equal Money System.

I commit myself to show how in One moment, Everything can and Will change with Equal Money because Every Single Living Being will be Provided for – No One will ever again be left behind.

I commit myself to show how Equal Money provides life support for every newborn child where No child will ever again starve to death.

I commit myself to show how we have never required a God to manifest and create that which we are capable of with Equal Money.

I commit myself to show how with Equal Money – All WAR AND FEAR OF SURVIVAL WILL END – Imagine That…

I commit myself to life in supporting a System of Equality where Life becomes a Living Expression of Love as Giving to All that which you would like to Receive.

Day 109: For the Love of God

I reacted today to a comment I read on face book about putting one’s ‘faith in God’ – thus the following Self-Forgiveness. – –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie to myself and others as myself all the while existing within and as a memory/character of and as my mind within the beLIEf of ‘the Love of God‘.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to raise my children to believe the same lie, where I taught them to have faith in someone, (God), outside of themself instead of taking responsibility for themselves and their world because I perceived ‘the Love of God‘ was easier than facing the lies of/as self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the beLIEf of the ‘love of God’ never question how it is that we’ve come to accept and allow a world/money system that only shine’s it light upon those who are rich, without seeing, realizing and understanding the polarity equation that when there are rich, there has to be those who are poor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek shelter from myself as my physical body within and as memories/characters and lies within and as my mind in believing in ‘Love’ and/or the lies of there being a ‘higher power‘ and/or ‘For the Love of God’.

I forgive myself that I have lied, reacted to others, and run away from myself for my whole lIEfe, hiding in and as anger, sadness, sorrow, guilt, remorse and self hatred, where I have feared even communicating because of how I experienced inner emotional conflicts and suppressions and, within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the BELIEF in the Love of a God to be responsible for and take care of my life because I feared facing me in self intimacy – so much so that I accepted and allowed myself to feel betrayed by life and thus betrayed by ‘The Love of God – and, I see, realize and understand how betrayal is that of blame, wherein, ‘For the Love of God‘, I conditionally placed faith, trust and responsibility of myself and my life within the ‘hands’ of another (God) – where I literally submitted myself and my life over to another (God) – where in separation from me as who I am as my physical body within and as our physical reality – I allowed myself to LIE to myself, and thus abdicated myself over to the care of/as a perception in/as my mind in giving permission for ‘the Love of God’, to ‘handle’ my life – instead of me taking self-responsibility for my own life and my life experiences – thus, when my life hasn’t gone as I’ve ‘hoped’, I’ve felt betrayed because of how I conditionally placed faith and trust and responsibility for me and my life over to and for ‘the Love of God, and, within that, I have accepted and allowed myself to react and exist in/as anger – I stop. I Breathe.

I see, realize and understand how me as anger is only a symptom of my own betrayal because I didn’t take responsibility for my life and for how I experienced myself. Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress that which I was actually experiencing within myself in how I was blaming my situation and my experience of myself on my parents, my world and society as a whole – blaming others for my own betrayal and deception because I perceived in/as memories/characters of/as my mind that it’s easier to blame someone else separate from me for my life experiences than to take self-responsibility for what it is that I have actually been experiencing within and as me.

I commit myself to show how no one is ever able to betray and/or deceive me except me.

I commit myself to show how self actually knows that self uses the belief in a God to Not face self and take self-responsibility for what self has accepted and allowed according to what and how our world/money system exists in keeping us enslaved to/as our own fears.

I commit myself to show how through writing, self-forgiveness and in self-honesty, one is able to Stop the fear and thus, Stop the Lie as the belief in a God and/or the Love of God.

I commit myself to show how through self-corrective application one is able to Stop fear and walk in self trust in supporting a world according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to see, realize, understand and thus show how our world is a reflected manifestation of that which exists within and as each and every single one of us, and how we are individually responsible for how our world/money system exists, thus, through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application we are each able to live, express and apply ourselves in taking self-responsibility for our world in creating Heaven on Earth according to what’s best for All.

(Please read: Day 106: Living the Lie for further perspective.)

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that another Lie is to Deliberately Disregard Physical Evidence as to the History of the Earth and to Promote the Lie of Religion based on the Premise that because the Origin of Life is Not Grasped, it must Come from Some Higher Power, and in One Foul Swoop, the Existence and Allowance and Acceptance of all the Lies as the Weakness of Human Character as that which tends to Lie and Deceive, is Justified and taught to every Child as if it is the Gospel truth – and anyone trying to Question the Lie, is Made out as a Liar, by Spreading Lies and Gossip, because it is Understood that because the Human lies all the Time, the Human will accept Lies as truth and truth as Lies – so, the Big Lie is Safe.” ~ Bernard Poolman

Why should the daughter pay for the sins of the father?

Why should the daughter pay for the sins of the father? She shouldn’t – yet she does. As humanity, we’ve created the very thing in which we feared, avoided and denied as we became it. We’ve done that from the very beginning when we accepted ourselves as such and we’ve run circles of time-loops around ourselves. We fogot who we truly are, which is Not that which we ‘want’ another to believe that we are. As those sins that we’ve taken on as who we are and who we’ve become – we’ve managed to answer that question for ourselves: ‘Why should the daughters pay for the sins of the fathers’? The answer is in who we’ve become, it’s programming, it’s a system and we don’t want to see ourselves.

We’ve even created a money system to abuse us even more and, we pay those who we accept and allow to make us feel better about who we’ve become. We pay people to make us laugh and we pay people to make us cry. We even pay people to make movies where people are killing each other and yet, within all of that, we still won’t see who we are within it. Where is our individual self-responsibility?

Is it lost in competition? We compete to have the biggest house and the most cars just so we can feel better about ourselves. We get married, we have children, we get pets, so we can feel better about ourselves. The energy within it all – never sustains itself. So, we begin again, with a new house, and/or a new relationship and maybe we have more children and get more pets and we repeat the same patterns of ourselves until finally we realize that we are the living examples of our parents, who are the living examples of their parents. We then see before us – the living example of ourselves which is our children and still, we won’t stop ourselves as what we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be – what we’ve created and are existing as.

Who, how and what have we become according to who, how and what we want another to believe us to be? Ego, greed, hate, rape, war, spite, and starvation – all the result of who we’ve become and are existing as.

We have become our thoughts and walked energetic experiences as if they were real – they are not. As such we continue to pass on the ‘sins of the fathers’ – Us – according to what we accept and allow ourselves to be and act as through and as our physical body within our physical reality. We make thoughts in our mind come to life through energy that we participate in and then ultimately those dreams die. As such we kill that which is actually real – our physical reality.

When we stop participating in thoughts and energetic feelings and emotions – when we breathe and apply self-forgiveness and see in self-honesty who and what we’ve created through our acceptances and allowances – we will stop passing on our legacy, as that being one of sin – only by our self-definition as such.

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Peace that Passeth All Understanding

Peace that Passeth All Understanding? Where is peace? The inhabitants of earth, us, we are ‘in pieces’ of ash scattered amongst us all and, we’re quite capable of understanding what the hell is really going on here. Everybody want to be a ‘piece of something’, though, what is the something? We’re for sure, ‘a piece of ass’ and, we say things like, ‘he/she stole a piece of my heart’ – when what we’re really saying is, hell is here, no one can be trusted, and life’s challenges, specifically, ‘money challenges’ in our current money system, is not ‘a piece of cake’, and/or a cake walk.

Yet – we continue to consume our lives through and as our mind of thoughts in wanting ‘a piece of the action’ and that ‘action’ is money.

Emotional and feeling experiences lead us on in our wanting to be part of something magical (that will make us money) and our want/longing to be desired and craving for the special love creates lonliness so immense that it feels like one is being swallowed up and sold like a ‘piece of meat’.

Thanks to the current money system, which we all continue to support – life here remains in a state of deterioration, just as we’ve accepted and allowed it to be . We allow corporations to gobble us up and is proof that it’s past time for us ‘pick up the pieces’, and stand up.

Crying time is over – stop seeking ‘pieces of advice’ according to opinions and ideas of who you think you want and/or should be and/or threatening others with , ‘you want a piece of me’. No we don’t.

Our physical reality which we take for granted have ‘broken into more than a thousand little pieces’ and, the ‘bits and pieces’ of what is left of self, is going to require self- trust. We as humanity lack trust in ourselves and each other and one will never truely trust another til one can in self-honesty, trust oneself. The missing ‘puzzle pieces’ of Us, requires ‘a piece of us all’, group support in equality.

Self-trust brings ‘all the pieces together’, Equal as Life. The mind cannot explain nor comprehend such a substance – which cannot be bought, sold and/or stolen.

So lets begin in supporting ourselves by proving to ourself – how stopping thoughts and accumulating ourself breathing through any and all feeling and/or emotional energy experience will stop self-abusive behaviors/patterns of consciousness and, releases the’ pieces of the shit’, we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to become. Through self-forgiveness in self-honesty, one proves to/for and as self walking that that which is best for self is according to that which is ‘best for all’. And is in-fact the way – the path to self as life.

The surprise is inside living-self as all life matter. Where inside outside one exists here within and as, ‘Peace that Passeth All Understanding’, Equality

My week and my perspective in less than a minute

It’s kind of odd, yet very cool, when one realizes that there was suppose to be a ‘reaction’ coming forth from self. Like the expectancy of seeing the sun rise in the morning, yet, instead one is able to stop and breathe. So instead of rising to the occasion and accepting self as the reaction based on a past experienced memory of self – this one in particular being that of the death of my sister in how I’ve been aware of automated pre-programmed reactions coming forth for me to either accept and allow according to fear of loss and/or fear of death – or to stop and breathe through in self-forgiveness. So when one is able to stop and realize that the reaction coming forth within self is merely self facing self according to what self has accepted and so allowed of self in the past, it’s very cool to assist self to be able to have a self honest look within self wherein both within and without one is able to forgive and release self in the moment. One is then able to see how the emotions and feelings of such events simply are not real and can be stopped.

In no way am I implying that I will not miss the being who was my sister, however, my perspective is, we will all continue to die to our physical bodies because we accept and allow abuse to ourselves and to others here within our physical reality. The being in which my sister really is, I’m sure would agree. So until and when we All determine and agree as one that who we really are is Life, as All as One as Equal and allow our physical bodies and our physical reality the dignity and support as such – we’re going to continue to suffer and die, until we stop. Maybe ‘death’, and our acceptance of it, is the ‘original sin’ that we’ve All ‘bought’ into…After all, we accept and allow plenty to die needlessly daily due to our abusive money system…Because the fact is, ‘Money’ is God. Let’s All agree to Stop…

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Stop praying for peoples ‘soul’ – that’s ignorant


It’s been a strange day today as I breathed through the news of my sister’s death.  She was found dead in her apartment, she had just turned 47.  Initially, I sensed a nervousness when hearing she had died but as I breathed, I realized once again, how we take our physical body and our physical reality for granted.  Then, when death arrives,  we fear it, question it and finally allowing no other choice,  we ultimately, accept it.  My phone has rang off the wall and my email is full of ‘condolences’ and,  all I can really say is, what the fuck!   Are people really serious when they say, ‘well she’s in heaven now with God and with her mom’, and saying how they are, ‘praying for her soul’.  What soul?  Where is the soul? Have anyone ever seen or touched the soul?   The ‘soul’, as well as the ‘idea’ of a ‘God’,  as far as I can see, has fucked us all up big time.

How is it that after all these millions upon millions of years of us as humans walking this earth, that we still hang onto and believe such nonsense.   We say things as if that’s suppose to make everything alright and it does nothing to assist anyone who is actually here walking on this earth.  It’s just another way of hiding our head in the sand so we don’t have to take responsibility for how and what exists within our world.  I don’t need, nor do I require anyone’s ‘condolences’.  And, I’m quite sure that my sister, the Being that she really is, does not require anyone to ‘pray for her soul’.  Stop praying for peoples ‘soul’ – that’s ignorant.  In fact, stop praying.  Get up off your knees – face yourself and the mess here on earth in self-honesty, so we can stop all the suffering.

Maybe, for a split second after her death, my sister was able to see the truth of our existence, which is more than we who are here are willing to see.  I don’t believe for one minute she met with a ‘God’, or the Being who was our ‘mom’ while here on earth.  I’m sure she is walking her process as we all are and, more than likely doesn’t remember who she was when she was here.  Most of the time, we can’t even remember who we are in our dreams when we sleep, so what makes us think we’ll remember ourself in death… We are nothing more than systems existing through and as our mind as consciousness. 

How can anyone in common sense not realize that there is no God and, if you believe there is one, then how is it that your not questioning the fact that thousands of children die from starvation daily because of our fucked up money system.   Few people will even ask that question.   I am no longer willing to accept this thing we call ‘life’ because, ‘life’ here on earth, is nothing but ‘hell’, and then we die.  I for one, have had enough.  As I breathe, I am stopping myself through Self-Forgiveness and I am standing in support of an Equal Money System. Stop waiting to die to receive a ‘heaven’- when we can all agree as one, to create ‘Heaven on Earth’ through the ‘Principle of Equality’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss and cry for the person I believed my sister to be and the person I wanted her to become instead of realizing that in doing so I validate the mind of consciousness, the enslavement of humanity through thoughts, feelings and emotions, that which we have become, that which is not real, that which accepts and allows atrocity as our abusive money system. I stop. I breathe, I direct me here in self-honesty standing according to and as the Principle of Equality in support of an Equal Money System to allow dignity for and as all life to experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the death of those who I’ve known all my life for in that fear what I’m really fearing is who and what I’ve become according to what I’ve accepted and allowed when I didn’t stand up for and as all life because I see, understand and realize that within us each one we have the ability to stand up for and as all life so that all life will no longer suffer as mind consciousness systems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry against life for giving up on itself and allowing atrocity to exist, instead of realizing that it is me who gives up on me and in doing so I separate myself from life itself. I stop. I breathe, I release the anger and I stand in support of and as all life so that all suffering to and of life may and will stop as all stand together hand in hand in support of all life to experience dignity through breath accepting each other as self as all as one as equal.

Compassion in Action

The Compassion of the Light (Compassion in Action) By Bernard Poolman – 4 October 2009
Hear the audio uploaded to Sound Cloud within Blog

What is an `Act of Compassion´ – given Everything you know about Reality… Would you say, if I may, `it is to love-them in Spite-of Everything´ –
-Why not? Would that be `spiteful´ – to ‘love-them’?
-“It would be deceptive – It would be an acceptance…”
-Who would be `spited´ by-it?
-Would you say – it would be `to carry their burden – and find a Way for-them´-
-“ No – `to carry their burden…´”
– = their Pain – where they carry/care? get anymore – you carry-it – because you `understand´ –
-“ Okay… Who are we talking-about though?”
-Oh Everything – Compassion!
-“ Are we talking about those that have no-Voice in this world, are we talking about those that cannot Stand-up for-themselves – or are we talking about those who deliberately…”
– How can those that is pre-programmed `stand-up for-themselves´?
Can they? Can they Hear-you?
-“ No…”
-They can´t Hear-you.
So would it be compassionate to `accept the Fact that they can´t Hear-you´?
-“ Yea.”
-Would it?
Or would it be Compassion to go out-of `your way´ to `shake-them´ and `break-them´ until they Hear?
-“ But within that you accept that they are `not-Hearing´- that´s why you´re doing-that.”
– Yes – but are you going to `accept-them´ for `what they are´ without Action?
-“ No.”
– So what Action would you Take – `compassionately-speaking´ –
-“ Whatever Action it-takes to `shake-them´.”
– Okay – and if you `feel-like´ "Oh I can´t really write a comment because they might `feel that I´m attacking-them´ – or they might `feel´ that I´m going a little-bit `over-board´ and then I´m gonna be in an `argument´…" – I mean – "I can´t really tell-it to-them `as it is´… -I rather just shut-up"… What are you doing then?
-“ That´s `compassion´ with your-own Fear”
– That´s `compassion with Fear´-
Then what…What is Compassion? I mean – at the moment, a Minimum of a Million-Beings -a Minimum!- of a Million-Beings are Dying – right-Now! What is Compassion within That-Context?
If it was You – would you´ve felt Alone, Rejected, Desolated, Isolated, Lost, Angry?
-“ Yea, I guess-so.”
– Would-have that made-it Possible for-you to become the next Demon in Existence?
-“ Yea.”
– Now if you don´t – and you try and ‘understand-it all’, just to ‘do-it again’ – would that be an ‘Act of Compassion’? Or would it be an ‘Act of Compassion’ to become the fiercest-Demon in Existence?
-“ To become the fiercest-Demon in Existence.”
– `In the flesh´ or Not-`in the flesh´ – no-matter where you are – to never give-up, to never-stop – `till Everyone Realize and See ‘each-other´s Plight’ – this ‘eternal-Fight’ with apparent `goodness´ & `badness´ – `good´ & `evil´ = See what is really going-on!
How-far will you Go? What…When is-it `Compassion´?
When – when – when is it `Compassion´? When is your-Act `compassionate´? When does `love´ exist? `Love´ is: an `Act of Compassion´ – an Act of `Understanding the Experience of the Being´ and finding a Solution that it (the suffering) is not needed or required to be Repeated-endlessly, needlessly, pointlessly, purposelessly –
Could there be `Purpose and Reason´ while this is all going-on? – Or is `Purpose and Reason´ a Deception? Is there any other Purpose in Existence – but: To absolutely-Embrace the Suffering of others until there is No-more Suffering – would that-be an Act of Compassion?
-“ Yea.”
– No-matter what `happens´ to your `good-Name´, your `good-Standing´, your `good-ness´ in Existence – until there is No-more Suffering! Can you Do-that? Can you Give-up Everything `till All is Equally Free – Would that be Compassion –
Would that be a Passion for Life?
Are you willing to Give-up your own-Existence in every-way – until there is: Equal Life – Equal Freedom – Equal Existence for All sentient-Beings – Would that be Compassion? Then one must Ask-yourself – if you are `compassionate´… Would that be `Benevolence´? Then you must Ask-yourself – if you are `benevolent´.
How-far will you Go, if you See – and you-Can if you are Self-Honest: See in this World how-far is things taken to promulgate and promote Suffering of Many – while Few live-in ‘Luxury’, apparent Freedom, apparently `protected by `God´´ – apparently this `God´ is `compassionate´ and this `God´ is `benevolent´ –
but do You see an End in-sight – of the Suffering? Can you see the End of Suffering – Self-Honestly speaking?
Are you doing-Enough = to End this Suffering – Self-Honestly speaking?
First of-all – I would go and -as-far as one go- Correct the Misconceptions about the Veils that is placed over Words: What is `Compassion´ Really? What is `Love´ Really? And call-out the ‘Deceivers in-Existence’ – those that Dare to ‘color-in’ Words ‘beautifully’ so that they may Hide behind-them their ‘True-Malevolence’ – their ‘True Self-Interest’, while Many-Suffer.
If you cannot Feel the Pain and Carry the Pain, Stand as the Pain and Take the Pain and bear-it within your own-Being – Every-Breath – ´till this is Done = you have-not Embraced `Compassion´ –
If you Walk `with-Ease´ – without-Pain = you have-Not Embraced `Compassion´ –
If you can Sleep without Pain – if you can Breathe without Pain = you are Not Embracing Compassion – you are Not Carrying it…the Pain of others that is unable to carry-it, that don´t know `what else to-do´,
that are relentlessly-`Driven´ to Absolute-powerl…to Absolute-levels of `Emotional-Disturbance´ that will take-them to an `demonic-existence of Anger and Resentment´ –
If you do-not carry-it to the Brink-of your very-own Death = there is No-Compassion.
And – Existence is going to Need a lot-of Compassionate-Beings: to solve This-Dilemma that is existent, that has been `veiled´ by Many-Veils.
Every-Word carries many-Veils.
Ask-yourself: What is True-Compassion? Stand there, where the Animal is being Slaughtered: and Ask-yourself what is true-Compassion. Stand there, where the Child is being Raped: and Ask-yourself. Stand there, where War Wages – Stand there, where there is Abuse: and Ask-yourself what is true-Compassion. Stand there, where many `drink and party´, oblivious to what´s going-on: and Ask-yourself what is true-Compassion.

Copyright 2009 Desteni Universe This may be shared in the original form only, to prevent any tampering and only as a complete document.