Tag Archive | consumerism

Day 205: I’m too old for this!

More than once when I was younger and my children were small my babysitter would cancel and I would have to take them over to my mother’s house so I could go to work. When I would arrive later to pick them up it was common for her to tell me: ‘I’m too old for this’!

I mean I heard her say that so many times, and every time she must have felt guilty for saying it because she would always add a reminder to me of how much she ‘loved’ her grandchildren, but that they were just about to much for her to handle, what with her already daily duties of keeping the house clean and cooking supper for her and dad.

Back then I never looked at her words as being part of a program, a constructed pattern within and as who she was as her mind. Instead I judged her for saying so and I remember experiencing myself within a sort of euphoric state of denial. Because within my programming, within my own mind of delusion, I was sure that I would never come to feel like and thus live as the words: ‘I’m too old for this’!

Little did I know or comprehend how in that moment of my participation in thinking that I would never come to feel like that, that I already was it. Already accepting and allowing myself to become the same preprogrammed design of and as my mind. And, here, years later and today I heard the inner proof of my self accepted programming when within my mind I heard myself say: ‘I’m too old for this’!

too old for this
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a self-righteous moral attitude of superiority manipulating myself with excuses to not move myself, but to remain the same, stuck in my own fear hiding within a beLIEf system of self immortality and self-interest where I continue to argue for my own limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on an imaginary picture of myself within my mind where I physically remain looking the same within the idea of myself as being ‘pretty as a picture’, and completely unaware of my physical behavioral movements and the reactions within myself as my mind participation and the damaging effects I am manifesting unto my physical body and physical world/reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the inner me is that which manifests the outer me as this world within which we experience ourself, thus, when I participate in back chat and/or an internal conversation of: ‘I’m too old for this’, that what I am really doing is reacting within and as an enery of anger, therefore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that how I am experiencing myself is unique and that I am alone having to give up something special of myself and within that I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that the inner conflict that exists within me is the inner conflict that exist within all other beings as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to others within my world within a feeling of ‘importance’ where within that I don’t realize that such a reaction is actually towards a projection of an image/picture that exists within my mind reaching for greatness – thus, is Not in fact a real expression of me as who I am in/as my own process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest pain within and as me as my physical body within and as the back chat of: ‘I’m too old for this’ where I become physically stiff with my chest protruding out standing with a force that does nothing but enforce an energy of resistance, of self-sabotage and denial of self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the consequence of defining who I am within the back chat of ‘I’m too old for this’ is that in doing so I’m walking my process for an individual want, need and desire and not really changing myself, only seeking to fulfill my own self-fulfilling prophecy therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within something that has become very automatic and convenient to keep myself deliberately in a state of self-controlled manipulation.

I commit myself to STOP this pattern of self-controlled manipulation because I know what to do to start changing, to start expanding and letting go of who I have accepted and allowed myself to become and what the consequences are of doing so within myself and thus what I am accepting and allowing to continue as abuse within existence.

I commit myself to slow myself down and walk the self-corrective application of becoming clear in my communication as my words, my vocalization and my physical body movement to/towards others.

I commit myself to further investigating what wants and desires I’m still holding onto and excusing because of self-interest as that which I’ve continued to drag alongside of myself as I’m walking this Journey to Life so as to assist myself to be able to Stand and Direct myself according to what’s best for all.

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Day 204: It is Time to Change

Yesterday I was gifted with an interview from Eqafe titled: It is Time to Change.

This was perfect timing for me, because I’ve been on a time loop for awhile now where what’ll happen is that I access an energy movement, and from there I’ll reference a moment from my past and then utilize it to condition myself in the present within my mind into a mental and physical condition / experience – until I cause myself to be completely immobile. Unfortunately I’ve repeated such behavior until at the end of the day I’ve usually completely sabotaged myself to the point where I feel completely overwhelmed and ultimately ashamed of myself for not pushing myself through the point of energy resistance.

Even now as I’m typing, I feel physically nauseous with resistance to continue. So, I can relate to what Anu refers to in the interview when he shares how one will experience a physical condition of limitation, of like being completely immobile in the back chat of: “I can’t do anything right now, it’s impossible”.

time to change
The process of change is through resistances. That I know to be true. Through applying the tools of Desteni I Process, pushing through the resistance and walking as a Group with Desteni, I’ve been able to stop not one but several addictive behaviors such as gambling, smoking pot and smoking cigarettes‘, as well as being able to stop taking of 11 highly addictive prescription medications.

So Yes, it is definitely Time to change, it is Time for me to get the hell off the time loop, to stop what has been months of resistance and self-sabotage. It’s time for me to Change, to Stand as Stable support to bring about a World that is supportive of all Life according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a mistake.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to time loop within the point of resisting to face who I am without any and all positive and negative energies for the fear of who I’ll be without them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the process of Life and Giving and Receiving and Walking in the shoes of another for granted within a self-righteous, holier-than-though attitude because the truth is I fear the shame in seeing what I have been willing to accept and allow to exist within this world. I fear taking responsibility for all life because I fear giving up having more than others because I am ashamed of the fact that I have believed that I deserve to have more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to access an energy movement and within that reference a past moment to utilize in order to condition myself within my mind into a mental and physical state/condition experience where I become completely immobile within a point of resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall in the trap of energy, be it negative and/or positive, and to from there sink into a despair of hopelessness all of which is how I manipulate myself to excuse and justify Not moving and pushing myself through the point of resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the past and the future to talk myself into where I’ve come from and using it to manifest what is ahead for me in creating my present ‘condition’ within my mind where I eventually talk myself into even more limitation into a physical experience of being completely immobile.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to linger in an energy experience that then goes into threads of excuses and back chat within my mind of, “I can’t do anything right now, it’s impossible”, and then justify reasons as to why I continue to argue for my own limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself ‘putting off changing until tomorrow’ through justifying how and what I’m accepting myself as within the fear of who I’ll be if I do change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that that which I’ve been resisting is the fear of facing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to oppose me as my physical body within degrees of resistance for which I hold onto fear within the pit of my stomach.

I commit myself to stop giving in to resistance as fear.

I commit myself to Stop justifying my participation in the energy movements that keep me time looping and arguing for my own limitation.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into a pattern of resistance which begins with a positive and/or negative energetic experience, I stop, I breathe. I see, realize and understand that I have walked similar energetic resistance before, thus I Stand within the decision to stop and direct myself to walk the self-corrective application to become a point of stability according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself stuck in a pattern of resistance to stop, breathe and move myself to write and forgive myself.

I commit myself to STOP using the past and the future to talk myself into where I’ve come from and using it to manifest what is ahead for me in creating my present ‘condition’ within my mind where I eventually talk myself into even more limitation into a physical experience of being completely immobile.

I commit myself to move myself within my physical reality to get things done that matter to my process of the Journey to Life.

I commit myself to changing who I am as a selfish inconsiderate greedy bitch to one who will Stand up for Life, who will never stop until every single living being is able to experience Life in a dignified manner according to what’s best for all.

I re-commit myself to my process of walking this Journey to Life to it’s fullest potential in seeing, realizing and understanding that I have this one Life to make every breath count to support real change for All Life through Equal Money Capitalism to bring about Heaven on Earth.
——-
Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Join the forum:
Desteni
Investigate Equal Money Capitalism

Day 198: Water: Problem, Solution, Reward

water

“This is not a film about saving the environment. It’s a film about saving ourselves. Because whatever one’s environmental, political, or religious opinions, whatever one’s race, sex or economic standing, whomever of us goes without water for a week, cries blood.” ~ Quote from the Documentary: Blue Gold: World Water Wars

When I finished watching the documentary: Blue Gold: World Water Wars, I was somewhat speechless as the realization of our world water supply/situation settled within me. It’s like one of those moments when you know you’ve got something so important that you must share with others – something that is life-changing, literally. And in the same moment you realize how important what you have to share is, you’re almost fearful that those that you share with, won’t take the seriousness of our situation here on earth to heart, but you know you have to share nonetheless. Where to begin…

The Problem:

Our Physical body has to have water to exist and that should not be a problem, yet it is.

Most of us just assume as we go to our sink and turn on the faucet that we’ll always have plenty of clean water. That’s a mistake in our thinking that we no longer have the luxury of believing. It’s time for us to educate ourselves and find out where our water supply comes from and who if any is taking from and selling to – depleting that which we have taken for granted because we’ve accepted and allowed others to make important decisions on our behalf and subsequently are profiting from.

For generations we have Not been paying attention to what we’ve accepted and allowed to happen to our water supply and so now, we’ve got a small window of opportunity before the price to pay for our negligence costs us our very life. Our source of water is being sold and exported for the private gain of a few and thus water is the new gold, a big commodity, and already, over one billion lack access to clean drinking water and many many more are finding themselves in situations where they cannot afford water – the very substance our earth provides freely for everybody.

The Fact is, We cannot continue to take water from one source and give it to another while not taking into consideration the natural cycle of our water supply – thus depleting countries and people of their water and the health and well being of their resources in which they depend upon to exist.

Direct Quote from the Website of the Documentary:

“In every corner of the globe, we are polluting, diverting, pumping, and wasting our limited supply of fresh water at an expediential level as population and technology grows. The rampant overdevelopment of agriculture, housing and industry increase the demands for fresh water well beyond the finite supply, resulting in the desertification of the earth.
Corporate giants force developing countries to privatize their water supply for profit. Wall Street investors target desalination and mass bulk water export schemes. Corrupt governments use water for economic and political gain. Military control of water emerges and a new geo-political map and power structure forms, setting the stage for world water wars.”

Did you know?

This is a summary of the global market for all water users:

“Total worldwide revenues of $508 billion in 2010 … the bottled water market generated $58 billion of that total and growing fast … industry needs $28 billion for water equipment and services to all kinds of businesses … another $10 billion covers agricultural irrigation … another $15 billion in retail products like filters and various heating and cooling systems … $170 billion is used for waste water, sewage systems, waste-water treatment and water recycling systems … and $226 billion for water utilities, treatment plants and distribution systems.” Market Watch: The Wallstreet Journal

The Solution:

Water is here to assist and support Life. It is Not here to fill the pockets of the greedy. The solution is very simple in that we’ll return water to its natural cycle and irrigate the land with rain water. And, in doing so, we’ll stop accepting and allowing profit and greed to take us over. We take self-responsibility, we see, realize and understand the common sense – that we all have to have water to support our physical body and our physical reality, thus, we establish a system that recognizes that we share the same basic needs which are required to be met to live a fulfilled Life. Equal Money Capitalism guarantees All living beings be given that which is required to live just such a life and at the same time protects the natural flow process within our streams, underground water basins, as well as our rivers and oceans.

The Reward:

The reward with Equal Money Capitalism will prove that life does Not have to be a scary story. We do Not have to accept huge corporations and/or a few with all the money to bully their way through our land and our resources. There is enough resources here for us All to utilize effectively to see to it that we will Not run out of water and we’ll prove it through accepting and allowing the natural cycle of life – instead of the insanity of water privatization and/or the sale of water resources, (water trading, profit, greed).

Don’t take your water for granted. Investigate and Educate yourself. Know where your water comes from and who owns it…

Our Water is Not for sale.

Join us

——–
Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Join the forum:
Desteni

Investigate Equal Money

Day 197: Guns: Problem, Solution and Reward

Art by Rozelle de Lange
EqualChange for Real
For Context Read: Running Out of Weapons

“Obama’s gun control speech this week in which he urged lawmakers to agree to a ban on military-style assault weapons, limits on high-capacity magazines and universal background checks, appears to have only fuelled the upsurge.”

That’s how it is. Scare the hell out of em and they’ll react with feelings and emotions and then they’ll buy, buy, buy!

Fear is the motivator used to boost the economy. The proof is in the skyrocketing sales as people rushed to buy guns in their fear of an imminent gun ban in the wake of the Sandy Hook Massacre where 26 people were shot dead.  How insane is it that the most sought after weapon, according to sellers, is the AR-15-style assault rifle, the same as the one used in the shootings.

The highest rate of gun ownership in the world is in United States, where there are almost as many guns as there are people: around 300 million guns for 311 million people – with the average American gun-owner having four to five firearms.

Problem

The problem with guns is the human because the human has yet to take self-responsibility for the action they take when they pull the trigger and/or give permission for the trigger to be pulled. We act on impulse and fear and, more than not people fire guns without first considering how their action of doing so cannot be undone. When one is making a decision based on feelings and emotions they are unable to consider the consequences. Even when something like Sandy Hook happens, it only sparks more fear and ultimately more people with guns, and we’re not even considering the damage that is ongoing every single day in war torn countries where a multitude of weapons are used.

The problem is that guns are designed for death and destruction and thus All decisions and actions must take place within that realization. Another obvious problem is that we live by the ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ principle in which we destroy people and their countries in our quest to conquer, to have it all.  All the while we avoid seeing our own greedy nature as we give permission for and/or pull the trigger and kill even as we’re insisting on stricter weapon laws/gun control.

Solution

The Solution is actually very simple. Instead of living by the ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ principle – where we have lived by means of force using guns/weapons to achieve control/profit and gain over others – we begin by investigating and educating ourselves about the human mind with regards to why and how it is that we ‘think’ and feel and behave the way that we do.  In addition, we will through Equal Money Capitalism take all life into consideration and thus the manufacturing process itself will become one that is benefiting of all life – instead of destructing to life.  Suggest one read: Equal Money Capitalism Wiki for further clarity

Reward

We’ll become a living example of the message of Jesus, “Give as you would like to Receive” and, “Do unto Another as you would Like to be Done Unto you”. As a result we will eventually reach a point where war and suffering will cease, and Life will become a Living Experience of Fulfillment and Happiness within a Quality of Living according to what’s Best for All.

We have a responsibility to all living beings, one that we’ve yet to see, realize, understand and be accountable for, thus, until we each become a living example of what it is to walk as life according to what’s best for all, until then, the solution is to do away with All guns/weapons and war.
——–
Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Join the forum:
Desteni

Investigate Equal Money

Day 196: Moving Through

The subject of money, or rather the lack thereof came up tonight when my daughter and her partner asked if we could help them out with giving them some gas money so they can get to work. As we continued to discuss the point, I became increasingly aware of the FAMILIar and dull pain located within my upper back between my shoulder blades. The pain, which had remained silent for most of the day, began to slowly radiate in a straight line through and into my chest area. Before, when my daughter has asked me for money I reacted and so this is a point I’m aware of and have been applying self-forgiveness for. It’s very interesting when the pain starts, because it’s like my physical body is giving me an alert to assist myself to focus on my breathing.

Continuing here further with self-forgiveness and self-commitment statements to thus move myself through this point in self-corrective application.
moving through
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a point of anxiety and dread where I fear that when my daughter asks me for money that I will react in irritation and ultimately regret and within this, I see, realize and understand that my reaction is coming from a pattern as a memory/construct within my mind according to how our relationship used to be, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a memory/construct/habit that is actually only real because I keep accepting, allowing and thus making it real.

I commit myself to stop this pattern of my mind that I have given permission for.

I commit myself to releasing the control I have given myself permission for within my mind with regards to how I have accepted and allowed the idea and the mere mention of money to seize and control me through fear,  because I see, realize and understand that when I focus on breathing and remain in awareness of who I am in self-honesty then I am able to stand stable and move myself and make decisions according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand who I am capable of becoming free from the impulse within my mind to over react to the subject of money, to direct myself to change the nature of who I’ve been within the fear of my mind being in control of me, and to instead see, realize and understand that I Decide who I am, and I Choose to Stand Stable, Equal to and one in an agreement to change the inner me to one that will ultimately manifest my outer world according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to move this point through in self-corrective application according to living as an example of how relationships can be transformed into and as agreements through self directing self walking according to what’s best for all.

For Relationship and Self-Support: DIP Lite
————
Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

Join the forum:
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Investigate Equal Money

Day 193: Spent

Money plays a role in every decision I make and even determines how I physically move myself.   Money is and has always been the most important silent moving piece that I take with me to determine in every moment who I will be.

spentI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear an inner feeling of being spent, used up, consumed, as if there’s nothing left, broken.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I’ve become the thought/image of myself within my mind, where I see myself spralled out on the ground, my physical body exhausted and enveloped in feeling spent, used up, consumed and broken.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate in backchat and internal conversation of ‘this is to much’, and within that I forgive myself for how I imagine ways within my mind to manipulate and conform another to ‘my way of thinking’, and when that doesn’t work, then I return to feeling used up, consumed, as if there’s nothing left, broken,,, unless, I have money, because with money I can use it to manipulate others to hear and be what I want them to be, or, at least that’s what I tell myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize how my relationship to money, to spending, to consuming, to manipulating, bleeds over into every aspect of my life, including every single relationship I’ve ever existed in and as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I use money as a means to react to others in a pretentious manner as a personality that is belittling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I use money as a way of motivating myself to appear to others as some sort of ‘Force’ to be reckoned with, where I feel my chest protruding out with my chin tilted slightly upward and within that an overall feeling of physical discomfort within and as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I pretend that money doesn’t influence who I am when the fact is, when my bank account gets low I begin to panic inside myself and my mind begins to look for ways and means and even things to pawn in order to secure my mind’s idea of surviving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I have manifested relationships within my life using money as the motivator, thus when I remove money as the motivator, I remove the very thing that has held the relationship intact.

When and as I see myself existing in fear as an inner feeling of spent, used up and/or consumed, broken, I stop, I breathe. I commit myself to redirecting myself through self-forgiveness and I commit myself to stopping the thought/image of myself within my mind where I see myself spralled out on the ground with my physical body exhausted within and as feelings of being spent, used up, consumed and broken.

I commit myself to stop who I’ve become as the consumer.

I commit myself to stop manipulating others by using money as a motivator.

I commit myself to continue walking this Journey to Life through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

I commit myself to support a world system that supports life according to what’s best for all.

——
Investigate Equal Money

Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life

Join the forum:
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Day 192: Let Life Be With Equal Money

226840_1846999506872_1597216487_1803901_4818362_nI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what will become of this world if we continue to “let it be”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in/as the thought/image of myself as walking away, letting it be, letting life be within the totality of the inequality that exists within and as our world/reality/existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it’s ok to just ‘let it be’, meaning: that this is the best we are as a humanity – that’s it’s ok to accept and allow hunger and war and profit and loss, that we should just keep quiet, let it be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself already at the end of my day – where my work is done – where I collapse onto the couch, put my feet up and give myself permission to zone out to the television because I deserve to just ‘let it be’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the ‘let it be’ mindset – where I don’t have to take self-responsibility for how our current world exists because I work hard every day and nothing will ever change anyway, so, I can just ‘let it be’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the backchat within my mind that says: “this world will never change”, because I see, realize and understand that such a statement is me as my mind attempting to put off taking self-responsibility for the massive amount of abuse and ignorance that we continue to accept and allow as our current world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed with our current world/money system to such a degree that my physical body has become feverish and achy, and as a result, I’ve not stood stable and directed myself according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep quiet, to ‘let it be’ in order to ‘keep the peace’ – which is nothing more than an attempt to avoid seeing the truth of what is happening within our world where Capitalism is devouring us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make excuses and to look to others for the answers to who, how, what and why our current world/money system exists as it does.

I commit myself to stop hiding behind masks of and as my mind as characters and personalities and to stand and face me all of me in self-honesty.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing my mind as imagination to run away with and from me and to instead face who I am within the reflections I see of me within and our current world/money system.

I commit myself to stop living the lie of ‘let it be’, because I see, realize and understand that war, poverty and starvation exist because we accept and allow and ‘let it be’, all the while there is the Solution of Equal Money.

I commit myself to breathe and remain aware of the reality of our current world/money system and to show how Equal Money can and will bring lasting change to end all suffering.

I commit myself to show that hunger and war and profit and loss are merely symptoms of a currupt world/money system and that this is Not how Life is suppose to be and that together, one by one, together, we can create Heaven on Earth.

I commit myself to show how it is Not Ok to zone out to t.v. or drugs, or alcohol or anything for that matter because Life is here within and as our Physical Reality – it is Not zoning out in our mind – and, Life requires the assistance of Everyone, thus, I commit myself to Stand together in support of an Equal Money System – the Only System that supports All Life Equally.

I commit myself to breathe and stand stable, to show that Yes WE Can “Let Life Be” with Equal Money.
——
Investigate Equal Money

Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life

Join the forum:
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The FREE online course where you learn Essential Life Skills!
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