Tag Archive | constancy

Day 235: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – The Cancer Paranoia – Day 20

There is a tremendous amount of paranoia within our society about cancer and the fear of getting it. In 1981, when a childhood friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer at 21, I was only slightly moved by the news of it … I was 22, married with two small children, and life, seemed to be passing me by. I was oblivious to the goings on within the world as a whole. I was too busy being consumed with finding a job that paid enough to feed and clothe my kids and hopefully a job I didn’t totally hate to go to.

I didn’t allow myself to take even a moment to realize how every time I heard about her cancer I cringed inside with paranoia, fear of the same thing happening to me. Instead I found comfort in entertainment/photography, things that I used to distract myself and, I believed the secret thoughts in my head that said, ‘naw, that’ll never happen to me’…

Here 32 years later, I have breast cancer

Now when you’re told you have cancer, you become paranoid, bombarded with thoughts. Your mind can be characterized as a kind of suspiciousness with extremely fearful thought patterns focused on the fear of dying. So it’s easy to see how the traditional orthodox treatments for cancer are accepted and followed through with in fear of dying within a state of paranoia. So, I mean paranoia is a mental disorder where the consequences of existing in such a state-of-mind, can be deadly.

“Paranoia is Just a ‘pretty word,’ Meaningless in a way because Conveniently anything that seems to be ‘Abnormal’ may be classified as Paranoia, so it Needs to have a Word that is More Specific. Paranoia comes from the ‘Para-Noise’, the Paranoise comes from the Paranormal, the Paranormal comes from the Parapsychology and the Parapsychology is the Study of ‘Strange Events’ . But Not really – it is just Studying things that you Cannot Really Physically Touch like Ghosts and Thoughts, because Thoughts are like Ghosts: they are here now and then they’re Gone – in a Few Hours You Will Not be able to Remember the Exact Thought you had, you’ll be able to say “I Thought About” but You will Not Be Able to Recall the Exact Thought and Have it in Exactly the Same Way – also when you are Thinking about Something and Specially during the stage of the Developing Paranoia, the Thought will Repeat itself but In that Process, the Thought will Develop. So the Thought will be Changing and Progressively become More Obsessive and It Will Move You as the One having the ‘Paranoise’ the Paranoid Thought more and more to the Center of the Thought Convincing you that ‘the Thought is Right’ and you will so Change even Your Memory Eventually Claiming that ‘You are Right’.” Bernard Poolman

EqualifeInvestigating further into my past of paranoia,,,

The date was January 18, 1977, I was 17, married, had a newborn baby and paranoid as hell at just becoming a mom. In my paranoia I wouldn’t notice that the very treatment I would some day seek to treat my own cancer, was being fought for in a court of law.

Acting as his own defense attorney, John A. Richardson, M.D., was going to trial, for the 4th time. Here is part of his opening statement:

“Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury: You are sitting in judgment of a case that may be one of the most important in American history. The issue is not smuggling, but literally whether medical science is to be frozen by bureaucratic fiat.

The lives of millions are in the balance. I am charged with conspiracy to smuggle – but the purpose of this prosecution is not to punish a smuggler – but forever to chain the advancement of medical science to political whim…

The logical question now is why everybody would get so excited about a doctor using Vitamin B17 in his practice. This is a simple question, but the answer is very complicated. Let me try to make sense out of it for you.

Every year more than 370,000 Americans are killed by cancer. It is by far the most feared of the deadly diseases. Man has with little success, been looking for a cure to this horrible killer for ages. Much of the research has been sponsored by the American Cancer Society, established long ago by the Rockefeller family and some of its business friends. Since they were in the petroleum and drug businesses they were interested in looking for a solution to this cancer threat that involved the use of synthetic drugs. As it happens, most synthetic drugs have a coal-tar base; that is, they are derivatives of petroleum. Over the past several decades the American Cancer Society has financed and directed the vast majority of the cancer research in this country through grants. There may or may not have been something sinister in all this, but the point is that if you wanted money to do cancer research you were most likely to get it by looking in an area which involves the use of coal-tar-based chemicals and assorted synthetic medicines.

Maybe they have not been looking in the right place. There is another theory on the prevention and control of cancer. This lies in the field of orthomolecular medicine. That is the term coined in 1968 by Linus Pauling, the famous Nobel laureate.” ~John A. Richardson, M.D.,

“Our research shows that the incidence and severity of cancer depends upon diet.” Linus Pauling

“Probably the most difficult thing to understand about all this, is that men of science could be so foolish as to foreclose the avenue suggested by Pauling and others. Cancer is such a horrible disease that it staggers the mind to think that every possibility of finding a means of prevention or remedy is not being exhaustively explored. Cynics have pointed out that with the billions of dollars flowing into cancer research – that is, cancer research of the “right” kind – there is more money to be made looking for a cure than in actually finding it. The trouble is, as I have explained, that scientists are being financed to look for the answer to cancer only within the realm of traditional cancer therapies. They have not been able to get money to investigate the field of nutrition as it relates to cancer.

There is an obvious tendency for the federally regulated big drug companies, the medical politicians of the American Cancer Society, and the Food and Drug Administration to act as one big happy family. We all know that many generals and admirals leave the Pentagon and retire to cushy jobs with defense contractors. Then they proceed to negotiate defense contracts with their old chums. This fact of political life has received a fair amount of publicity. What has received virtually no publicity is the fact that the same kind of musical chairs is played among the drug company giants, the AMA, and the Food and Drug Administration. Much of this, incidentally has been brought out by Senator William Proxmire of Wisconsin. 

What it all means is that, by operating in both the private and public sectors, a powerful clique has a hammerlock on research and treatment in the field of cancer. If you are on their team and play the cancer game their way, you are respectable and you get public recognition with lots of generous grants. If you are not on their team and persist, you will be vilified as a quack preying upon the suffering of others.

The oil companies want to sell petroleum products to the pharmaceutical companies. The drug companies want to sell their products to doctors and hospitals. Doctors are trained to do so, and ignorant of other alternatives in indicated cases, want to perform operations and use radiation and chemotherapy. Scientists want grants. Bureaucrats want to expand their authority by getting the federal government more and more involved in medicine, and they recognize the fear of cancer as an excuse for doing so.” ~John A. Richardson, M.D., Laetrile Case Histories

Alright so it is absolutely vital that we investigate who we are as paranoia so that we can make decisions for ourself and our world according to what’s best for all.  Profiting off the suffering of others is quite the debt to pay, and, one that will accumulate until it touches everyone of us.   Investigate the Solution as part of The Equal Life Foundation.

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“So, with this – we are living in absolute unawareness to the ‘debt as consequence’ we are accumulating in our mind-physical relationship, with the consequence the mind create in the body, our relationship to others, the consequence we’re accumulating for ourselves in our responsibility for what we accept/allow to do in thought, word and deed and how it affect/influence ourselves and others, and the consequence we’re accumulating in this physical existence with doing NOTHING to practically change life one earth that we are continuing to just accept and allow without change. Thus, consequence is DEBT accumulating, we ‘owe Responsibility’ in the sense that – we’re NOT taking responsibility for what we DO and who we are within it, we just ignore/deny/resist/suppress it. Not realising that the DEBT, the Consequence is not going anywhere – it’s busy accumulating internally and externally, this one can hear in the Future of Consciousness Series as well as just investigating/educating yourself with regards to the REALITY of how this World System/Money System currently functions.” Sunette Spies

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Suggested blogs to follow:
Creation Journey to Life
Heaven Journey to Life
Earth Journey to Life
Economist Journey to Life

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LECTURE BY MR. G. EDWARD GRIFFIN
Author of “World Without Cancer: The Story of Vitamin B–17”

Day 234: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – may we not be found wanting/desiring – Day 19

For Context Read: Day 233: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Surviving Normal & Desteni – Day 18

“May we not be found wanting/desiring.” Bernard Poolman

I read that quote by Bernard for the first time some 4 years ago or so and today it assisted me to remember to breathe…It’s been raining all day which is great because we need the rain. The problem is the constant sound of the slow rain began to activate a memory of myself sitting in front of the t.v., watching a romantic comedy on the t.v., and eating my favorite comfort food. Before I know it I processed that memory into thinking and imagining myself eating a big bowl of mac and cheese or a big slice of chocolate cake.

(Suggest to Read for Claritly: Being able to Stop Thoughts – proves that both ‘who I am’ and Thought itself is Illusion: DAY 377)

wanting

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to, and long for a relationship to food to provide an energetic experience for my mind defined as comfort.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to abuse my physical body by ingesting certain foods that create a chemical feeling experience of happiness.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to depend upon the positive energy experience from eating sugar and chocolate and coffee to stimulate and motivate me to move myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn to food for a relationship as a replacement to having a relationship / self-intimacy with who I am as my physical body.

It’s crazy how strong the desire within me is to just give in and allow myself to eat anything and everything that I want. But I mean, then what? What I know is that I’ve done that a million times in my life so I already know that nothing is ever as great as the idea of it within our mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the memory of myself sitting at home on a rainy day watching feel good movies and eating as a way of comforting myself to avoid facing who I am within the fear and hollowness of longing.

So, how come I keep taking the bait so to speak? How come I keep giving in to the temptation to participate in the thoughts about eating dead food when I know full well that I will Not give in and eat that which will harm my physical body/ process of healing?

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to ingest foods according to my own personal interests/opinions and fears as a brainwashed consumer.

Following the Metabolic Diet and eating absolutely no cooked / processed foods is part of the alternative treatment plan that I have chosen to assist my body to dissolve the cancer safely and successfully, so following it to a T is imperative. In my case, it may mean the difference in life or death.

Recently I’ve been investigating who I am with regards to my experience with ‘longing’. The longing to be loved is usually what one might think of when looking at their experience with longing, but for me in this moment my lack of the ability to carry on my relationship to the foods I’ve used for comfort is in immediate need for attention.

It seems like I’ve always longed for something or someone. And the thing about it, even when I got what or who I was longing for, it was never as wonderful as I imagined it would be. Mostly my experience with longing has been one where it’s as if I’m supposed to hold onto something or someone and never let go.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for my future without something to look forward to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reach for something to put into my mouth as a way to pacify and manipulate myself to the point where I settle into my own little world within my mind and the hell with everybody else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid taking self-responsibility for the horrors that occur daily within our world/money system because to acknowledge them would mean admitting that I to am responsible for accepting and allowing them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define something and/or someone as that which I have a relationship with as being important, valuable and precious because I see, realize and understand that within that exist fear of loss, fear of losing my relationships and definitions which has been the very structure of my existence and that which I fear giving up.

When and as I see myself ignoring and/or distracting myself with a memory of my past behaviors on a rainy day I Stop. I Breathe. I see, realize and understand that this is a point that I’ve always avoided which is actually just a point of being ok here with myself, breathing.

When and as I see myself defining something and/or someone that I have a relationship with as  important, valuable and precious, I stop. I Breathe.

I commit myself to stop giving myself excuses, reasons and justifications such as: I still want to do that, I still want to have that, I must still experience this, I must still have that, etc.

Alright, I will continue to investigate this point.

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“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that Consumerism and the Way of Influence is Based on the Right of the Consumer to Refuse the Product, yet with the Will Power of the Consumer Influenced, the Profiteer happily transfers Responsibility to the Consumers, always Not with all the Information, but with Enough to Influence the Will of the Consumer. This subtle Brainwash Makes all Humans thusly Influenced without Morals and Not Worthy of Trust – as the Consumers, as Product of Consumerism, will Never Act in the Interest of Life and will in fact see Life as a Threat to their Happiness and Happily Sell their SOULD for just a bit of Happiness.” Bernard Poolman

“I commit myself to show that all Abuse on Earth is a Matter of Deliberate Will and that this Deliberateness Accumulates through small allowances to Eventually Look Like Circumstances, while the Outcome was Always Measurable from the beginning. Advertising that molds Will to Brand Loyalty for Instance, uses the Small Measures to Get the Eventual Controlled outcome for Profit and in Part of the Design of individual Will utilized to Shape the will of Man in Consumerism.” Bernard Poolman

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Day 233: Calling the Beast by it’s Name – Breast Cancer – Surviving Normal & Desteni – Day 18

For a few days now I’ve wrestled with a thought / backchat within my head saying: ‘I just want to feel normal’. I stopped it when I became aware of it in the beginning. When it came back, I mocked it within myself, so basically, I was mocking myself… Making fun of the thought, making fun of myself. This is how me as my mind as consciousness has become as I’ve continued to give the thought ‘I just want to feel normal’ the key to my peace of mind by participating in and as automated actions/patterns of myself,  even as I became aware of them.

I mean, that’s pretty much how I’ve always existed.  In fear,  surviving normal. Within that always longing for that feeling/experience like falling in love or falling into another addictive behavior, but either way, normal becomes comfortable and routine.  Basically, we get up in the morning, take a shower, eat, go to work, go to lunch, go back to work, blah, blah, blah, go home, watch tv, go to bed, get up the next day and repeat…You get the picture. Just tow the line and follow the rules of our current world/money system so we can stop fearing for our very survival and get to  ‘feeling normal’.

The problem is, that which has been normal, has been a LIE.  Our idea of normal is motivated by fear and self-interest.  And when that moment comes, when you must investigate who you are because you realize you are brainwashed and automated and then you realize you feel strangely comfortable about being so.

It seems odd to find comfort hidden within that which we fear and yet we do.  So, we just keep doing the same thing day in and day out because we believe we have to to survive, and within my mind, I’ve imagined so much more for myself, but I could never move myself to a point of actual real self change.

So, what I’ve realized is with my diagnosis of cancer, I’ve had to become very strict with my eating and now I’m realizing just how much I’ve used food to give myself comfort and a feeling of normal.  So in a way it’s as if I’m longing / searching for some sort of way to feel better as a way to replace the relationship and socializing I once had with food.    Once in awhile the desire/urge/energetic longing to taste a warm cooked meal becomes so overwhelming until I realize that all I have to do is to Stop and to Breathe.   Participating in my past as memories seems to diminish the desire/longing and gives me the illusion of feeling normal and comforted even if it is a lie…

Then yesterday, I heard: Awakening to Purpose by Bernard Poolman.

Equal Money and WomenHearing it reminded me of when my normal began to change, which was when I discovered Desteni. I use the word ‘discovered’ on purpose because the ‘Desteni Material’, is like a Treasure trove of Rare ArtiFACTS.

Reading the Desteni Material, I immediately became aware of how the Principle of Equality would forever rock the hell out of my idea of ‘normal’.

For the first time in my life, I began to realize just how ‘brainwashed’ I really am. In that moment, I didn’t know what all I would uncover about myself within those rare artiFacts, but as I began to apply the tools of self-forgiveness and self-honesty, I noticed something unexpected in the releasing of fears.

I was able to prove to/for myself that I Can change and redesign myself and within that become aware of how and what I’ve accepted and allowed to exist within this world.  And once I’ve begun to see that for myself, then I’ve been able to take self-responsibility to learn how to Give as I’d like to receive.  This means supporting a system that will guarantee the support of Life according to what’s Best for All,  and, will bring an end to suffering on a Global scale.  How can any one of us accept our idea’s and comforts of ‘normal’ when ‘normal’ has never brought an end to suffering?

So, there’s normal, as how normal has always beed defined according to how we’ve existed, where we’re constantly trying to survive our accepted and allowed version of normal within our abusive world/money system, and then, there’s Desteni.

Desteni is the Rock, the Place where Practicality meets Solutions and Creates a World according to what’s best for All.

Alright so what I’ve realized is, the thought:  ‘I just want to feel normal’, is an amazing tool for me to gauge/see what I am currently choosing to accept and allow. And, what I see, realize and understand is that this thought/backchat is merely a trigger from my past and a reminder that I don’t have to run away in fear of the Beast as Cancer.  That in order to bring myself full circle to a point where I understand how I manifested Cancer within and as my physical body in the first place, is going to require an awakening to purpose beginning with a re-committment to myself to Breathe and remain consistent and stable.

I mean, it was just over a year ago that I made a committment to walk this my Journey to Life, to blog/write, and to within that, Face All of me. To understand and assist myself to Forgive and Release who I am as a Slave to/as my mind.   To redesign myself, and to forever Stand in Full Support of Life, through supporting an Equal Money System.

I can no longer deny the truth. That Life, within our current Money System, is Cruel, and Deadly. And, I am no longer willing to accept this as the kind of world we offer to the children who continue to be born here.

I re-commit myself to my process of walking/daily blogging my Journey to Life,  to take Self-responsibility for who I am as my thoughts, feelings and emotions/reactions and to forgive, release and redesign myself according to and as all as one as equal.

Because, what’s considered ‘normal’ within our world, is Starvation, Poverty, Profit over loss of life, and that, is unacceptable.

I commit myself to redefine who I am as ‘normal’ through becoming a living example of supporting Life according to what’s Best for All.

Alright then, much for me to investigate.  I will continue in my next blog…

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“There cannot be a greater life after this one because this one is creating the next – you cannot be that stupid to believe that from here will flow something better. You move from here to face consequence, so from here at death things gets worse, much worse, because you have to face what you have allowed. We suggest you do it, face it right here. You die in fact alive in the physical through self-forgiveness taking yourself to nothingness where you stop what you’ve allowed. Where you then emerge like you did as a child from the womb, from this darkness, this nothingness, and it’s not to fear because you did come from it.” Bernard Poolman

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Recommed Watching: Awakening to Purpose