Tag Archive | cheat

Day 165: On the take

The point I’m seeing within myself and am applying self-forgiveness for is manipulation and the extent that I have seen that I will go in how I have manipulated myself and others in my attempt at surviving within our current world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ‘on the take’, where I’ve lived my life always seeking to take from what is here yet never willing to give unconditionally to all that which I believed I had the right to take.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bombard myself with secret fears of giving in to the desires of my mind thus ‘taking from’ that which gives me life as who I am as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I am on the take I am willing to use, abuse and manipulate to get what I want when I want it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I’m on the take I will tell you what you want to hear to try and make you trust me and then I will swoop in and thank you for giving me that which you swore you would never let go of because that’s how evil lives.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I’m on the take I have one goal in mind and that is that I am always looking for ways to make money and I won’t care who has to go without in order for me to reach my goal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I am on the take I am accepting and allowing myself to be used up within a world/money system that plays us against each other and yet we don’t realizes the odds are always in favor of the world/money system as the win.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have spent my life always feeling like I had to look out for me and if that meant that I had to take from others then so be it, and within that not realizing that I was never actually living because I was constantly paying for the service of being able to live.

When and as I see myself thinking about ways to take from others instead of giving – I stop, I breathe. I see, realize and understand that it is vital that I direct me as my mind instead of my mind directing me. Thus, I commit myself to stop existing in self-interest and greed and stop manipulating others and to instead ground myself here standing in support of a world according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to facing who I am as the role that I play within our current world/money system.

I commit myself to slow myself down and stop allowing myself to rush through my life as I see, realize and understand that in my rushing I have been abusing myself and others as myself.

I commit myself to not give up on myself as I continue walking this process because I see, realize and understand how I have been manipulating myself in how I’ve been participating in thoughts of fear and frustration according to some recent pain and changes within and as my physical body.

Day 97: The Character: Cheater on the Mind


Today my partner phoned to say he would be late getting home from work – then, within moments after arriving home from work, he decided to take a shower before having supper and so, I was aware in both those moments of how a picture popped into my mind, or rather an extremely fast thought which was where I went into the character of, ‘is he cheating’?

I didn’t say anything to my partner because, I was very much aware of the character attempting to take center stage where my eyes and mouth began to form physically in/as the sneaky-suspicious cheater character, that I myself have existed as in the past where I attempt to blame and accuse another as being it. I stopped myself and breathed and, I see how this character comes forth because of how and who I’ve existed as in self-dishonesty where, in numerous ways, I have cheated within my life and thus, I am here to put ‘the cheater character’ to rest once and for all, through self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as the shame in the pain within my physical body where I am experiencing ego and pride held within my shoulders and neck that I’ve existed as in how I avoid looking at me as the ‘cheater‘ of life in how I have lived in/as my secret mind where I have sought for energetic liaisons as a way of avoiding taking self-responsibility for who and what I’ve accepted and allowed to exist here in/as what I’ve referred to as a World that is free that is actually enslaved within and as our current world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in/as the cheater character as the memories/characters/personalities of the generations of women who’ve walked here before me because it is I who am completely responsible for me as who I am and what I accept and allow myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a cheater beginning when I was in first grade in school in how I felt guilty when stealing candy from a store as a child and how I defined stealing as a way of cheating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define saving/hiding and/or spending money as a form of cheating against another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as the word cheater where I have judged whoever I’ve been in a relationship with for cheating because in my secret mind I’ve had thoughts of cheating on them whether it was cheating through keeping money from them or having a relationship with another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself into believing the excuse that when I ‘cheated’ it was because I was going through a ‘bad time’ in my life and so it was ‘ok’ to cheat because I justified my behaviour according to how I was experiencing myself in/as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be adamant in my cheating as long as no one got hurt then I justified it as ok.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider the damage I create within and as my physical body according to how I accumulate stress in/as myself when I exist in acts of cheating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see, realize and understand how, that which I accuse, blame and perceive myself to see existing in/as another, is in fact how and what I am existing within and as.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how I look for in another what I can’t accept/find within myself – to thus give myself some sort of ‘feeling’ as if I’m completing myself when in fact what I’m doing is searching for a feeling that I believe is me.

I commit myself to show how through self-forgiveness one can in self-honesty stop patterns of/as memories/characters and personalities of/as the mind and walk self out of such patterns through self-corrective application.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to exist in/as a character of/as my mind through acts of cheating because I see how I manifested the definition of myself based upon emotional manipulation in order to have energetic experiences which I now see, realize and understand that I am able to stop, re-direct and realign myself in self-honesty according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to abdicate my responsibility to and towards myself through justifying acts of behavior within the starting point of self-dishonesty as I see, realize and understand that I am willing to be the directive principle and commit myself to change in order to be supportive in bringing forth a world according to what’s best for all.

(Please read Heaven’s Blog with regards to: Childhood Imagination Creating Characters: DAY 98)