Tag Archive | bubble

Day 58: Forgiving the storm of resistance within


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to turn my back on myself resisting myself in fear of what often feels like a storm brewing on the inside of me wherein fear I then sabotage intimacy with myself and in my relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself since childhood to sabotage myself in fear anytime I’ve caught a glimpse of who I see I can be standing on my own accord.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a child to follow thoughts about myself not of/as making mistakes but of being a mistake.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a child shame myself to such a degree that I acted out either in a grandiose manner and/or self-centered and selfless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand how as a child I assumed responsibility for the behavior of those around me, thus felt guilty and at fault when my parents argued yet, never realized how the acts of myself were distractions to not stand self-accountable and self-responsible for how I avoid intimacy with myself and intimacy with others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to blame my family for what felt like storms within me where instead of letting go and letting me know me in self-intimacy, I suppressed myself through focusing on hiding for example behind clothing and/or make-up in an attempt to cover up flaws in my personal appearance of self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel constantly violated by others instead of realizing that it is only me as my mind who has violated me through my own participation in and as it directing me instead of me being the directive principle in self-honesty of and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to block feelings and emotions of shame toward myself through compulsive behaviors such as drug addiction, shoplifting, and gambling.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that the way I’ve experienced myself has always been according to my lack of self-intimacy in how I avoid facing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed memories of myself as a child to still brew up storms within me as patterns and mind constructs as outflows of me where I resist physical intimacy within my current relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust being intimate with my partner because I’ve never been intimate with myself.

When and as I see myself living the outflow of a pattern as self-sabotage where within me are feelings like-a-storm brewing inside, I stop. I breathe. I realize that in the storm is where I avoid me in self-intimacy, thus, I slow myself down and allow me to remain here breathing as who I really am in the silence of me in self-honesty.

I commit myself to face and forgive the outflows of me as memories from my past so as to stop the accumulation of my past as storms of me being walked in the present moment thus creating a lack of self-intimacy, thus I commit myself to breathing here in awareness of me as my physical body within and as this physical reality.

I commit myself to accept me within and as self-forgiveness.

I commit myself to me in self-intimacy.

I commit myself to willing myself to be gentle with myself and All living beings here.

I commit myself to fully comprehending that this is my last life to assist myself to release myself from resistance and suppression which I’ve placed upon myself and to stand up for All living beings so that we can bring an end to our own self-abuse and emerge anew as life living the principle of equality.

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Day 55: Hiding in plain sight

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety within me within the urge to hide away into myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘feel’ embarrassed for having to push through the resistance of Not wanting to write within a desire to hide from myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a master in self-deception.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a pattern of hiding where I would withdraw from physical activity while I sat within my mind of thoughts on self-imposed pity pot.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist coming out of hiding from the secrets of my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by my mind’s protection mechanism of/as a listlessness mood.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become angry at myself for the evil I see I’ve been as my secret mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harbour feelings of self-hate towards myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend the doom in mood doesn’t belong to me when I am fully aware that it’s like an old friend who surprises you suddenly with their presence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take the point of wanting to hide seriously because I wasn’t willing to say goodbye to the oddly comforting feeling of myself hiding in pity and/or depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that hiding within myself in self-judgment is self-abuse and self-denial.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method of hiding from self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide what I’m actually experiencing inside from everyone, including myself, where I present myself as being strong and not struggling because in ego and fear I didn’t want to show any signs of weakness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use as a protection mechanism my fear of being ridiculed so I push myself to be strong to survive, no matter what.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let resistance be the directive force of me – instead of me directing me in self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself for not realizing how I became a personality of my mind just to ‘fit in’ and ‘handle’ a situation – instead of breathing and directing myself in self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the self-denial of me in seeing that where there exists secrecy, there exists hiding.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to complicate who I am in this moment in expectations of who I desire myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide who I really am within secret mind thoughts of judging who I’ve been.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing what I’ve allowed within my relationships with others, thus, fearing to see myself in others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the desire to hide is just the negative end of the polarity pole with the positive being that of seeking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my mind to influence or control the words of me preventing me to see clearly my way to forgiving me.

I commit myself to allowing myself to Stop hiding from myself in fear.

I commit myself to allowing breath as an expression of/as me.

I commit myself to accepting the simplicity of me.

I commit myself to supporting a world where life comes out of hiding and assists one another to overcome our fears of each other.

I commit myself to supporting an Equal Money system to educate the world that consciousness is Not who we really are.

Please read the following Blogs for further self-assistance:
Heaven’s Journey to Life
Creation’s Journey to Life
Earth’s Journey to Life

Day 50: The Situationist


Today I reacted to a ‘situation’ in irritation and anger in how life is always about Not having enough money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger and irritation instead of realizing that I was hiding from myself within a desire where all I wanted was to be cared for.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I’m addicted to the internal anger just sitting there inside me of unresolved issues I’ve held onto regarding how money effects every situation within our lives.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny my addiction to anger in how I’ve used money as leverage to judge, manipulate and deceive members of my family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny my addicted nature where in ‘situations’ regarding ‘lack of money’, I utilize anger in judging, manipulating and deceiving myself where I’ve told myself that I’m not driven by money – that I just want a happy and peaceful life for my friends and family, when in reality, I was brewing inside with thoughts of how ‘life isn’t fair’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that anger towards the words spoken/written by another is an indication for myself to see that I am in fact only reacting according to how I have defined myself within and as the words I’m reacting to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use anger in spite as a reason to say ‘I told you so’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create situations from what is actually boredom of my mind as consciousness instead of stopping what I realize, which is that boredom is a pattern – not a reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have baited the hook so to speak in setting myself up to become ‘angry’ just to make myself feel ‘better’ through becoming an emotional bail bondsman, always willing to ‘bail someone out’ of another financial crisis in order to make myself feel better, thus continually seeking myself within polarity equations of creating a positive experience to feel better about a negative experience I’m having of myself.

When and as I see myself reacting to the words spoken/written by another, I stop. I breathe. I commit myself to seeing who I am within my reactive nature as the word and forgiving myself in order to purify my mind as it through self-forgiveness and self-directive application.

I commit myself to Stop myself as the situationist just waiting like a vampire to suck upon others experiences just for the energy within emotional and feeling charges.

I commit myself to proving that with an Equal Money system we will no longer live situations of energy as life, instead we will breathe life from/as expressions of Us, Equal to and One as All.

Day 25: A day like this – energy withdrawal

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing who I am within a day like this, where the mere idea of moving me as my physical body seems to be more than my mind can bear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical body through participating in the thought and fears in wondering if life will be worth living without some sort of energy fueled movement coming from within me as my mind.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to for a moment feel trapped in and as my mind as consciousness where the likelihood of me considering anyone or anything except my own self-interest requires breathing and pushing myself to stand up from what feels like the dead weight of mind zombieness.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the idea in my mind which beckons me to believe that I require some sort of nutritional substance, (sugar for energy) to move myself out of a dark hole in my mind of blankness.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel deprived and denied of energy to the point where I sense the pull of my mind as consciousness telling me to just give up and have some sugar and/or go to bed – instead I breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the addict, always addicted to something in which to fuel energy experiences for/of my mind which I then acted as within and as my physical body and my physical reality.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to substances which I used to nourish my physical body my whole life, not realizing that my mind was getting off on them instead of them actually being nourishment for my physical, thus I’m walking the manifested consequences of the bullshit that I accepted and allowed in and as the direction of my mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself in fear of/for my future without having substances that provide energy for my mind which I perceived to be supporting my physical body as a real experience of myself when in fact it was only charging my mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disappointed and frustrated with myself for standing in separation from me as my physical body as well as all life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ingest substances which when stopping them causes physical withdrawals within and as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my physical body for granted in order to give my mind as consciousness the charge it desired.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist in a state of mind over my physical body/matter within a memory/illusion of energetic acts of self as the mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have existed within the movement of self as the direction in and as energy of the mind as consciousness – instead I stop, I breathe. I stand up, and I continue to walk the Journey to Life

I commit myself to continue to face myself in self-honesty within the gentle guidance of breath and to through writing self-forgiveness push through the patterns of who I’ve been through self-corrective application and to remember what I’ve already proven for myself – this to shall pass.

I commit myself to breathing and directing me as my mind in assisting life to stop the mind as consciousness within our world/money system and to assist in bringing about an awareness that living does Not require energy to express and exist together equally here on earth.

Art By: Ann Van Den Broeck