Tag Archive | bad

Day 90: BeHolden

Continuation of the following blogs:
Day 87: Feels so good, Hurts so bad – –
Day 88 – 89: BeLonging
– –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be indebted and/or beholden to/as our current world/money system where through relationship ties we compete against one another using jealousy, greed and money to WIN – as if life is a game.

I commit myself to educating myself in how memories create how we become in DEBT to ourselves and others according to/through Self-INTEREST, as the attention we give to the mind.

~ ~
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize, and understand how my mother is my mirror and I am hers according to how for generation after generation we’ve existed where each child is/has been conditioned through/as their parents into our own alternate mind realities where we exist with absolutely no consideration for anything and/or anyone except that of pleasing ourself, in/as and through living as memories/personalities of/as our parents, which we accept/allow and create in/as our minds and then try and manifest them into and as our physical body/reality/world in/as self-interest/need/want/desire and greed.


I commit myself to stop existing within a character of guilt as a mother in fear, wherein I withdraw into myself as if there’s a ball of suppression/ burden within the pit of my stomach in regret and sorrow, in worrying about how my children will survive tomorrow thus, I stop. I breathe. I realize that to exist within guilt and fear is draining life from me as my physical body and, I am no longer willing to accept that, therefore, I direct myself and take self-responsibility and prove to myself who I am willing myself to be in support of a world according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to expose the polarity equation of love and hate and to stop placing value within illusions of feeling good according to memories/characters/ personalities, because I see, realize and understand that doing so completely forsakes our responsibilities to the children within our world who require that we as adults assist and support them in common sense – instead of feelings and emotions – to prepare them to take self-responsibility in order to lead the way in manifesting/creating a world/money system which will support All life according to what’s best for all.

When and as I see myself existing within a point of guilt and fear, where I see how I want to swoop in and ‘save’ my children through financial means and/or taking responsibility for them, in attempting to ‘fix’ their world so they’ll ‘feel’ better, I Stop. I Breathe. I see, realize and understand how the only way to support them is to support myself even if it means that they have to fall in order to stand because I see, realize and understand how ultimately the only solution that will ensure a world worthy of children is that of an Equal Money System and thus in supporting ourselves with Equal Money we’re supporting All.

I see, realize and understand how important it is to assist and support myself in walking this process of self-forgiveness, to be able to align myself with walking equal to and one with existence and to stop accepting and allowing guilt/fear/characters/personalities/thoughts/feelings and emotions to exist as me which has perpetuated the suffering, pain and consequences that is existent within this existence.


I commit myself to stop longing for belongings in order to provide an addition to myself as something pleasing in order to ‘feel’ as if I ‘belong’.

I commit myself to stop seeing my children as if they’re a box of objects of/for use as effects in order to show off, and/or to make me ‘feel’ better about myself simply because I don’t want to face me and the Mess I’ve accepted and allowed within this world/money system.

I commit myself to show that the only right a parent has is the right to take self-responsibility in supporting a world that guarantees No child goes without food, a home, clothes, clean water, an education and healthcare.

I commit myself to stop jealousy, self-interest and greed in realizing that to exist as such further fuels our mind as consciousness which keeps us enslaved to our current world/money system, thus I commit myself to show how in order to stop the pain and suffering that currently exists within our world, we must first stop, forgive and direct ourselves according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to show how our world requires an education system that will prepare each one of us to become a self-aware, responsible part of the human race that lives a fulfilled and productive life of happiness and fun and, how Equal Money will ensure that everybody will be effectively educated to live in harmony with everything here including, plants, animals and our environment.

I commit myself to support me as my physical body, to comprehend how life here on earth is a living representation of how, who and what exists within the mind-physical body of/as the human.

(Please read Heaven’s Blog with regards to:How a Child Learns from the Mother: DAY 96)

Advertisements

Day 88 – 89: BeLonging

Continuation from: Day 87: Feels so good, Hurts so bad – –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in/as an illusion of control to/towards my children/relationships, wherein the nature of who I am is one of thinking/believing that someone is mine, thus, I can raise my children however I please because, ‘they BELONG to me’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a belief that I have the right to teach my child the same wants, needs and desires that I have existed as, wherein through fear, guilt, jealousy and an illusion of control, I have abused who I am as my physical body and my physical reality in order to have relationships/experiences according to my wants, needs and desires.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when my children were younger, to see my social life as more important than the life of my children, where I lacked preparing them to take self-responsibility for themselves and/as all life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the importance of teaching my children how vital it is to investigate who we are as our physical body – instead of pursuing ourselves in/as Memories/characters/personalities according to how we’ve been pre-programmed from the lives of generations before us.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be unable/unwilling to answer the question, ‘why did you bring a child into this world knowing full well the struggle of survival that the child will face being born within our current/world/money system’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in self-interest and greed not consider how – who we are as our mind as consciousness – is only out to satisfy and fuel itself as a way of keeping us enslaved to our current world/money system – how everything here is here to support the very EVIL we LIVE as, as that which we call life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to LIVE so wrapped up in/as my mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions, that it didn’t occur to me that I am the one who decides who I am and how and what I accept and allow, thus, whatever is here, is here only because I / We accept and allow it and therefore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in/as characters/personalities of/as my mind, allowed myself to distract myself from seeing the pain and suffering existent as life on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not walk as a living example for my children in teaching/showing/preparing them how to care for our physical bodies and our physical reality, including the animals and plants, our earth, the trees, our water, the air we breathe, and the dirt we walk on/as – within the realization of how we as our physical body and our physical reality is how we are able to exist here, thus, to abuse anyOne and/or anything, is to abuse All and everything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not fully comprehend how life here on earth is a living representation of how, who and what exists within the mind-physical body of/as the human.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how important it is to investigate/teach ourselves and our children to communicate with and as our physical body to understand the meaning of how/why we experience pain within and as it.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to through fear and guilt, avoided physical touch with/as my children as they grew older.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how when jealousy exists within me, then the illusion of control exist within me, because within the nature of jealousy toward another, I am actually trying to protect and defend/control my children/relationship within the context of how I want another to be with regards to how I want our relationship/experience to be – according to how I want to experience myself within the context of the relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how through my mind as jealousy, I have existed in/as a state of demonism where I have accepted and allowed jealousy and control as me, and as such, I have accepted and allowed myself to be completely taken over in/as experiences of myself where jealousy and control take over the context of my relationships within and as me as my physical body and within our physical world/reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how in the very beginning of my relationships, I have accepted and allowed a pre-conceived idea, which I have superimposed onto my relationships according to how I want the relationship to be, thus, jealousy and control are the components I’ve used to keep the relationship going according to how I desire it to be, because I try and control the relationship by becoming jealous of others who I see as a threat toward my desire, want and need, in how I have intended the relationship to be within my illusion of control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that within my illusion of control I fail to see that I am not in-fact in control of the relationship because within my illusion of control what I’m actually trying to do is to manifest and create into reality my wants, needs and desires which is the point behind control in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to motivate all of my relationships according to how I want, need and desire them to be and within that I believed myself as having control, when in fact I’ve only been supporting my own self-interest in/as my mind as consciousness in order to get and have experiences of myself according to how I want them to be and to hell with how anyone else has to experience themselves within this world/money system of/as poverty, starvation and greed.

i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I have let jealousy within the relationship of/as inferiority/superiority to control who I am within my relationship to/toward myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat others as my belongings – in how I have created relationships over and over again through my wants, needs and desires as jealousy within the illusion of control in/as superiority and inferiority, where I feel inferior to that which I’ve not understood in how the relationship exists superior in relation to me in how and what I’m accepting and allowing and thus, I’ve continued to seek myself within the illusion of control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately generate energy within myself for the purposes of having illusions within wants, needs, desires, control, jealousy and, superiority and inferiority – instead of seeing/realizing and understanding how me as my mind and my physical body within our physical reality, is here as a gift to assist and support our process of realizing who we are as Life, thus I forgive myself that I have taken for granted that which I am, as my physical body within this physical reality, and I direct myself here according to and in support of a world according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system where children are not heard, seen, recognized, loved, noticed and/or wanted within this world because if they were, then every child born would be guaranteed a lifetime of food, a home, clean water, clothes, healthcare and a proper education.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be chased by desire, want and need to be important, to be noticed, to be recognized, to be appreciated, to be accepted, to be desired, to be loved and to be wanted – all of which are attributes within my mind as Ego, where I have placed myself on a pedestal in my own world, even before my children, and have ignored the atrocities that exist within this world, because of my idea as being more superior than everyone else within a less than idea of myself, within my mind as ego in how and what I’ve perceived according to how/what I was taught and learned as being the ‘right way’ and thus, I raised my children accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am responsible for me as my mind and my physical body as well as how our physical world/reality exists, according to what I / We have accepted and allowed within a world/money system that is Not supportive of All living beings and, that I / We decide and determine how our world exists – as such I / We are able to Stop accepting and allowing abuse within our world/money system and to instead stand up as One Man One Vote in support of an Equal Money system, which will support All Life Equal in all ways.

to be continued

(Please read Heaven’s Blog with regards to: Parenting Building a Child’s Character)

Day 87: Feels so good, Hurts so bad

Investigating a point that come up today – where I see that a point of guilt is always here as me as a mother. Thus, here sharing Self-forgiveness Statements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry guilt and fear within my solar plexus as I withdraw into myself into a pit of anxiety where I’ve manifested pain as regret for the sorrows of tomorrow according to how and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as in guilt and fear of today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand how when one becomes pregnant and has a child, one is in-fact thus enslaved to/as the life of the child for the rest of one’s life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in/as a character of guilt, where, as a mother, through my own acceptance I have existed within a belief that to love one’s child is protect and rescue them from their mistakes – instead of understanding and living as an example of what it is take self-responsibility for self as our physical body as well as our physical world/reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand how polarity exists in/as love/hate equations/relationships – such as between mother and child – where to love gives an illusion of ‘feeling’ good, yet within that are the lies inFLUenced and manifested in/as pain which hurts so bad because we hold them within and as our physical body and thus project and pass the sins of the fathers as our famiLIEs onto our children in/as MEmories/Characters/Personalities and thoughts and illusions within our mind and within our physical body where we beLIEf the lies of how life will be when we have a baby even though we have actually no idea how it will be, nor are we prepared in any way to assist the child to become someone who will take self-responsibility for their physical body and our physical world/reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in/as guilt, let my child get away with everything in how they behaved because I didn’t want to see them experience themselves as sad and depressed or hurt and suffer in any way because I was existing in guilt according to how I see myself through my minds-eyes as not being a mother who takes self-responsibility for her physical body, nor this physical reality and so everything I have seen in relation to my children, I have seen through guilt which I projected as love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand how in having a child, it is my absolute responsibility to remember how that, every single second of my life will be with the child and that my absolute responsibility is their future within this world/reality – a physical lifetime.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that love as I have lived it, to/towards my children, has in-fact, Not been a real expression of self as love – but has been me living in and as an expression of guilt – how within my interactions with my children, I attempt to give my children everything possible in order to try and ‘make’ them ‘feel’ better within their lives, thus existing within the starting point of guilt and therefore, I’ve never actually loved my children as who they are as a being as a part of me within the relationship of equality and oneness.

to be continued

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Please read Heaven’s Blog with regards to: Parenting Building a Child’s Character)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I allowed my children all things and made sure I am with them to guide them through it so that they can see for themselves if it is acceptable or not.

All directive guidance is based on placing yourself in the shoes of others and to see if you would like to have things happen to you or not.

One cannot prevent all things, but you can establish at this stage a model of communication where the child will feel free to trust you with anything –therefore one cannot be reactive at all, escpecially in the first 7 years.

When they are older, it is important to also teach them skills to handle conflict –that no conflict must be ruled by fear or anxiety –breath and remain here and respond with common sense.” ~ Bernard Poolman

‘It has to go away’: Facebook director calls for an end to internet anonymity

“Facebook’s marketing director has called for an end to on-line anonymity, saying internet users would ‘behave a lot better’ if everyone had to use real names when surfing or posting on the internet.  Randi Zuckerberg, Facebook’s marketing director and sister of multi-millionaire founder Mark, made the comments during a round table discussion on cyber bullying.

People behave a lot better when they have their real names down. … I think people hide behind anonymity and they feel like they can say whatever they want behind closed doors.”

In every aspect of our lives we are required to use our real names – the internet should not be the exception.

In the Blink of an eye I Breathe

I began writing my last mind construct this past weekend, an assignment through Desteni I Process.  It’s not really the ‘last’ mind construct I’ll be writing – just the last one of these particular assignments.  The resistance I have had to writing this one has been accompanied by various degrees of thought patterns, emotions and feelings as well as a series of new physical pains and symptoms.  That’s how my body retrieved my attention to assist me to see my fall – where I fell more than once into a series of scattered thought and behavioral patterns in order to fulfill the process of a memory containment manifestation according to the direction of the mind consciousness system.  That’s the best I can describe it.  My physical body has been attempting to bring me back to here to assist me to stop my participation as such.  It’s been like hitting a road block, or a mental blank,  where all you can do is blink – until you realize that you’ve not even been here with yourself breathing. 

Blink was the word that kept coming forth for me to investigate and that’s when I sensed the definition of myself within it.  When my computer, or car, or washing machine stops working I’ve often referred to them as being on the ‘blink’ – not in proper working order;  and/or in need of repair.  I realized that I’ve been ignoring and/or disregarding myself. I had become complacent.  Complacent meaning I’ve been existing according to self-merit, and/or living according to some sort of advantage of my seemingly satisfied life/situation.  Simply put, it’s self-interest according to ego.  A hell of a time-loop of mind system comfortability – where I accept and allow myself to be less than how I know I am capable of standing as.  A point of limitation to and towards all life.  The specifics here are only necessary for me to reveal to myself in self-honesty. Of which I have.

I Stop as I will no longer allow such. So, I am here, breathing, slowing myself down and facing me, humble, grateful and standing according to what’s best for all. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my past energetic experiences and/or behaviors through thought and memory patterns – I stop. I breathe, I stand and face me in self-honesty walking here in support of all life Equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore me as my physical body and as my physical reality.  I stop. I breathe, I direct myself here according to the Principle of Equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become complacent where I take all life for granted through polarity mind patterns.  I stop. I breathe, I stand in support that all living beings may live their life in dignity thus, I support an Equal Money System.

I stand the same yesterday, today and tomorrow as the self certainty of me as I remain as I am here.  Breathing in support of and as all as one as equal.

Walk This Way

Equal Money means the human race has ended as we stand up on our own two feet walking as the feet for and as all within and as self-responsibility where accountability to self is entrusted standing up accountable for and as All as One as Equal.

Standing Equally Walking

Join Us Here

Wants BeGone

Before I began walking and applying the tools provided in the Desteni Material,  I saw differences in others as something that I must compete with.  The abilities of another I seen as a threat to how and who I was existing as.  I wanted to be better than, prettier than, richer than, smarter than, the one with the best paying job and, the one that everyone liked the most.  I wanted all the attention in any way that I could receive it and I played quite the con game in order to fuel the energetic charges.  I existed and lived self-manipulation statements unto my physical reality wherein I used emotions and feelings to manipulate myself and others within my world.  When I lost my way I used emotional and feeling reactive energy where I would then pull myself into a state of self-victimization through thought patterns that I willingly submitted myself to and as.  One moment I was up and the next moment I was down but either way I existed as reactive energy.  Looking now at how I participated where everything was about me, me, me – it was exhausting. 

The tools that Desteni I Process provides has assisted me to begin to understand the relevancy of moving myself according to what is best for all.  The tools provide and assists self to investigate and release patterns of ego/personality in self-honesty through self-forgiveness.  As one is releasing the patterns that one has accepted and allowed through the direction as a mind of consciousness system, one is able to begin to build self-trust in stopping the participation as energetic outflows so as to see for self what is real here.

Self-trust in self-honesty is a point that has to be walked as who self is within every moment of breath. As such, one begins to stop manipulation and justification patterns of self as well as to and toward others and, it’s quite refreshing.