Tag Archive | babies

Day 157: The Nature of the Human will Always Surrender to Money

Read the following for context: Innocent victims

Children in Syria are being bombed, tortured, sexually abused, murdered, no one really cares.
No one wants to talk about what everyone knows. When there is war, there is somebody who wants something that somebody else has, and of course, that something has to do with money/power. When it comes to money, the human will destroy everyone and everything in it’s path to get it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to cover my ears and eyes to not  hear or see how the two million children and young people of Syria are living in constant danger, because when I comprehend such a thing I become fearful and then I begin to fear for the safety of my own children, and that’s when I see how self-interest overrules my concern for others and I realize that as a humanity we’re in trouble because we will stop at nothing to have and be the power that having money gives, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in self-interest and greed look to protect and support only my family and my friends and in self-interest ignore the suffering of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought as an image within my mind, where I see me fearing that my country is bombed and my children and grandchildren are in harms way, and within that I forgive myself for existing in and as self-interest where the level of cruelty that exists within our world goes unnoticed until I see my own family at risk thus proving to myself how the nature of the human is self-interest driven.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself cowering in sorrow in realizing that I could have stopped the pain and suffering of innocent children but instead I turned the other cheek because I feared what others would think and say about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny that the nature of the human is evil because I see, realize and understand that the nature of the human is nothing more than greed in lust for money and power because the human will always surrender life itself for money and power in an attempt to control others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I become tense in my shoulders and upper back and how I hold my breath when I read articles about children suffering and dying and how I react in separation of me as my physical body in how I submit myself to/as fear as a negative energy experience and then, as if on autopilot, I immediately use positive thought participation which causes my level of anxiety to decrease and I began to feel physically better even though in doing so I am manipulating myself and taking myself from a negative energy experience to positive one and within that never actually facing the reality of who and what I am in relation to who, what and how I am responsible for as the abuse, war and death that exists within our current world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anxious and disappointed when I realize that there is nothing in this world so demoralizing as the horrors that man will do to man and animals in the name of money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the extent that I have manipulated myself through and as the direction of who I am as my mind as consciousness, to such an extent that I have been willing to accept and allow war to exist where children are murdered while they sleep, and within that,  to not realize that when I accept war to exist anywhere within this world, that I am actually accepting and allowing the defeat of us each one as a humanity.

When and as I see myself closing my eyes, ignoring the suffering within our world, I stop, I breathe. Instead, I commit myself to show the suffering and death that innocent children are having to endure so that money can be made while life itself is abused and ignored, furthermore, I commit myself to show that every single living being is of equal importance as life and serves a purpose for us each one to see ourselves within and as.

I commit myself to breathe and forgive myself and through self-corrective application apply myself daily to commit myself to myself in self-honesty to re-design myself according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to stop existing as a coward where I manipulate myself using sorrow as a way of avoiding facing what I’ve accepted and allowed, to instead stand up to/for myself and direct myself in realizing that life is not about fear, that life is here for us to recognize who we are as each other, therefore, I commit myself to walking the self-correction of me in becoming equal to and one as life where our world will one day exist where all living beings are guaranteed a life of/as/in dignity.

When and as I see myself react in anxiety in realizing the abuse we accept and allow within our world, where I tense parts of me as my physical body and then manipulate myself with positive energy to distract myself from facing myself within it all,  I stop, I breathe. I commit myself to stop the separation of me from my physical body and my physical world/reality, to therefore commit myself to redesigning who I am in support of me as my physical body and thus support our physical world/reality by remaining aware of who I am as breath.

I commit myself to show how with Equal Money the nature of the human being will begin to change because Equal Money will ultimately remove our fear of survival, thus we will be able to witness the nature of ourselves begin to change from one of evil and struggling to that which honors all living beings enjoying each other as life.

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Day 149: You hurt my feelings character

My son’s birthday was a few days ago. I wasn’t able to talk to him or see him and I told myself that I was ok with that. I lied.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie to myself when I fear because I convinced myself it makes me ‘feel’ better when the fact is lying further suppresses within me that which I’m avoiding taking responsibility for.

The last words that my son said to me were: “you’re not my mom, you’re just a lady who gave birth to me”.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I think about my son, I fear when I realize that I can’t talk to him and/or go see him, then I become angry and suppress my anger by becoming a character of ‘you hurt my feelings‘, and within that I forgive myself for how I’ve used the memory of our past argument as a defense mechanism which creates physical pain within me within the illusion of it all in how I’ve held in and on to the memory of his words as if they are jagged edged swords piercing deep within me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how holding onto memories keeps me committed to the past and thus never evolving as a living being but only evolving within methods of protection to defend the memory/past within a definition of self as it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I have used my son’s words to create a character of and as my mind as the ‘you hurt my feelings’ character and as such I continue to walk and live the consequences of my own self-interest in believing that what has been done cannot be undone because I’ve reLIED upon and lived as those words through feelings and emotions which I’ve accepted and allowed to guide me into having experiences of myself accordingly and as such, I’ve not yet realized the extent that I myself have misused and abused the living word itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold an image/picture within myself of myself of how to raise a child, when in fact. I didn’t know the first thing in how to prepare a child to care for themselves and/or their physical reality in order to guarantee a world ready and able to nourish and sustain life on earth into and as eternity according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought as an image/picture to come up within me of when my son was a baby and how having him made me feel proud and on top of the world and how in that one moment I took for granted that I would/could be a great mom when in fact I wasn’t prepared to raise the baby/son and the man to be, yet, I held onto him as if he was a puppy that I could train to love me.

Sometimes, to make myself ‘feel’ better, I imagine everything between him and I is suddenly, magically alright.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself from what I perceive within my mind as a negative experience to then a positive one through imagining everything suddenly is alright between the two of us, when I see, realize and understand that this is how me as my mind has always justified my avoiding taking self-responsibility for myself and others as myself, because in doing so within my mind I never actually face myself and/or never walk any real change of myself into and as who I am within and as my physical reality.

I still have a strong feeling that says: “How dare you”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the kind of parent who reacts to my child within a matter of duty, as if my child owes me something for bringing him/her into this world and thus my actions demand respect,  when in fact,  I see the common sense in how as a parent I failed my children in that I took for granted that I knew and was teaching them what mattered most in life, such as love and God, when the truth is, I was only teaching them what was taught to me and what was taught to my parents,  and in self-honesty, I see, realize and understand how as parents we’ve not investigated our world for ourselves, thus we’ve been living knowledge and information and have not actually been prepared to teach our children how to become a responsible human being as one who recognizes and shares the understanding of the Equality of Life of and as all living beings and supports their world accordingly.

The last time I saw my son was a year ago.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret who I physically become within and as the ‘you hurt my feelings’ character wherein when I’m around my son I walk with my head slightly tilted to the right which I now see is how I walk when I’m in deep thought, thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regret not moving myself in the way I really wanted to which was to physically embrace him within self-honesty and complete acceptance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk my process within wants, desires and expectations of seeking to control others/my children in order for me to have and behave as that which I was seeking in self-interest.

When and as I see myself existing as the character of and as my mind of/as: ‘you hurt my feelings’, I stop, I breathe. I see, realize and understand that feelings manifest who I’ve become as characters/personalities, and that the only power that feelings and emotion have over me is the power that I give them through my participating in and as thoughts and energetic reactions of and as polarity experiences, thus I commit myself to stop patterns of taking a negative experience of myself to that of a positive one in order to justify the demons of who and how I have existed as within my past, therefore, I commit myself to stop who I am as the memory of the words that my son once said to me and I commit myself to purify into life the words we live by and as daily.

I commit myself to stop lying to myself and others as myself and to commit myself to stop walking my process within regret, guilt, wants, desires, energy and expectations.

I commit myself to show how through self-forgiveness one can let go the past and begin a process of healing self from the inside out which can and will manifest unto and as the world as self.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that I cannot fully receive from anyone that which I’m not yet willing to give to all Equally.

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‎”Parents are not Instructed how to Instruct Children and are thus Not Qualified to be Instructors and are thus Destructors that will even Defend their Right to Destroy their Children in spite of the Fact that if one’s not Trained in Effective Direct Instruction, one is in fact Not Qualified to have Children under one’s Supervision and would Never Employ someone Unqualified to do a Job – yet the most Important Job on Earth, which is to Instruct Newborn Children, is allowed to be Instructed by Unqualified, Inadequate Trainers – resulting in a World where No One is in fact Ever Qualified or Instructed to be part of a Society that is Best for All Present on Earth.” – Bernard Poolman

Day 148: Babies having Babies


Florida teen, 14, charged with first degree murder

A 14 year old Florida teen, is charged with first degree murder after she gives birth in the family bathroom – strangles her 9 1/2 pound baby boy and hides his body in a shoe box that she dumps in the bottom of her closet and covers it with dirty laundry. Her mother finds the baby days later cleaning her daughters closet and claims she never even knew her daughter was pregnant – even though her closest friends had questioned her the entire summer as to why her daughter was gaining weight.

Everything about this story screams out to us as a humanity to ask ourselves what the hell are we accepting and allowing when the world we exist in continues to FAIL our children.

How much more suffering will it take before we each one stand up and take responsibility for the fact that we have failed to communicate, educate or even behave in a humane manner to each other and the children we claim to be raising.

Generation after generation, children are becoming the fear product of who we are as parents running around trying to make it within a money system that thrives on competition and greed, and the fact remains, the children are the ones that suffer. It’s time we all took responsibility for these crimes against life that are occuring daily.

The majority of us, we bow down to the ‘rich and famous’. Hell, we pay their salary and dream of becoming them as we sleep walk through our enslaved lives. All the while barely paying any attention to the children we’re bringing into this mess we refer to as life.

Can you imagine being a baby born into our current world/money system to the likes of us as the parents we’ve become. Supporters of our own Enslavement

That’s the Hell of it, it’s what is happening…

Support the Solution: Equal Money

Day 120: BRANDED


I forgive myself for not realizing that I am a product of and as my mind as consciousness which is preprogrammed and conditioned so that I will associate who I am within this world to specific symbols, brands and products within our current world/money system in order to keep the systems running effectively as that of a consumer and I forgive myself for not realizing that I am constantly being branded to continue to act the same and buy the same thing to continue to support the same things so as to keep the world/money system running smoothly wherein my behavior is impulsed through resonant symbols which directs my actions to such a degree that I’ve not even been aware of the fact of how my ‘idea’ of myself as having ‘free choice’ has never actually existed except in the way I’ve been branded, and I forgive myself for how I have put my faith in specific brands instead of realizing that my faith began in the branding and thus everything I have trusted hasn’t even been by my own direction but by the direction of and as my mind as consciousness within a world/money system in accordance to a preprogrammed and predetermined existence of which I’ve given permission for in my continuing to accept and allow it, thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put trust in things/people/corporations/brands and governments outside of myself without even understanding the content of the preprogrammed symbolic design that I’m giving permission for and I forgive myself for how in my blind acceptance and allowance I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as experiencing fear if/when I attempt step outside of that which I’ve been branded to follow – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that what I perceive as fear and anxiety is merely a shift in/from my regularly scheduled programming.

I commit myself to stop what I’ve accepted and allowed as me branded to be and become a consumer and to instead through self-corrective application, redesign and align myself to a world/money system according to what’s best for All, as I see, realize and understand that I must apply myself as the directive principle of me within and as breath and self-honesty in order to change the brand of me to one of and as Equality and Oneness, thus, I commit myself to the action of taking responsibility to no more accept and allow myself to be manipulated and controlled through product pricing and branding.

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“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be willing to see that branding has made the parent into extensions of the corporations that make sure the children will be the consumers that this system requires to continue its rule of Life.” – Bernard Poolman

“I commit myself to show that BRANDING is a form of FARMING the corporations and politicians use to claim their ownership over the consumer to ensure profit with no regard to what is best for Life, while the only BRAND of real value on Earth is Life.” – Bernard Poolman

Day 49: Master of Disguise

I’ve kept my 23 month old granddaughter Emmeline almost 5 days a week since she was 2 months old. She has always enjoyed her feet massaged and the touch of my hands on her feet and her feet held in my hands formed unexpected moments of bonding between us, proving the calming power of touch. From the first moment I began massaging her feet, her facial expression and her physical expression immediately relaxed as if to say, ahh, thank you.

Things are changing though. Emmeline is almost 2 and her sounds are turning into words which are becoming sentences. Her physical body is becoming patterns of her mind forming as consciousness. It’s actually very easy to see when one has a look, how our children are carbon copies of us, and we are copies of our parents, and obviously, they were copies of their parents.

I realized very early with Emmeline how when babies begin to sound words they are like parrots mimicking it’s owner, and so far I’ve done alright in stopping reacting to/towards her. That’s not to say that I’ve never reacted to her, but mostly, she’s assisted me and has taught me more about myself than my children and not because of them, it’s because of the difference in who and what I accept and allow, as who I am now that I’m walking the Journey to Life, a 7 Year Process of facing myself in self-honesty through writing and self-forgiveness.

Sculptures by Patrick Dougherty

Which brings me to my point – today Emme and I were coloring and kind of lounging around when she propped her feet in my lap similar to any other day. I put the colors aside and began to lightly massage her feet and I saw how she was different. Her eyes immediately focused on my hands massaging her feet and it’s like I could see the wheel turning in her mind. And for the first time, she suddenly pulled her feet away and let out a squeaky giggle and said ‘that tickles’. Her giggle wasn’t her spontaneous whispering giggle that’s accompanied with a slight shrugging within her chest area – no, this was triggered within her unconscious memory from someone she’d seen and heard react to having their feet tickled, and she was mimicking their behaviour. I knew that she wasn’t really experiencing a tickle and that she doesn’t understand that her reactive consciousness behaviour wasn’t real. Her eyes had confusion within them – as if to say ‘I don’t get why I did that’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need and require to live in fear to protect me and be safe thus I unconsciously taught my children fear so that they may be safe and protected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fear will protect me and keep me safe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to laugh at babies/children within a personality of thoughts of ‘how cute they are acting’, instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that they’re mimicking the reactions and behaviours we’ve taught them through constraints and limitations covering up the realness of who we are hiding in fear within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit the physical expression of myself and my children through how I taught them to behave to have manners that I believed were a necessary part of society and in doing so I’ve limited myself and them to become that which society expects of a well behaved working class slave.

Sculptures by Patrick Dougherty

I forgive myself for what I have accepted and allowed within what happens to fear according to what we make fear do to us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to withhold myself from physical expression through touch because I made a decision about myself a long time ago in fear, that when someone touches me they’re judging me, but it’s only me, judging me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when as a child I feared what I saw when I saw my mom naked for the first time and heard voices within my secret mind judging her – was the moment I chose to abdicate myself as who I am as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that as a child I felt controlled from the outside as well as from within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when we argue, we are fighting for our lives – through the eyes of children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that we’re attracted to the emotional qualities in another that we have accepted within ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that shame and guilt are masters of disguise.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there’s actually nothing I am able to do that will forever disguise myself from me.

I commit myself to show parents that the passing on of the sins of the fathers is only real because we allow it to be and that the Real Solution for Life will value and honor All life per the words of Jesus: “Love Thy Neighbour as Yourself” = Equal Money

I commit myself to me in accepting and allowing the expression of me as my physical body within and as self honesty to emerge as who I am standing up for and as All Life.

“I commit myself to show that the generational damage parenting inflict on Life is KNOWN, yet accepted, allowed and justified.” ~ Bernard Poolman

“I commit myself to make sure parenting becomes that which will protect and honour Life as the Only Real Value in the Universe.” ~ Bernard Poolman

“I commit myself to show that history is the evidence that parenting has never been in the best interest of a child on Earth, and that the parent has always abused authority to produce the child as a copy of the parent that repeats the same abusive patterns with feeble justifications like it’s God’s Will or that it’s is just Human Nature. ” ~ Bernard Poolman
From: Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 44: In the Name of Love

For further Support Read:
Creation’s Journey to Life
Heaven’s Journey to Life
Earthy’s Journey to Life