Tag Archive | animal abuse

Day 277: Death of a Pet – Part 2: Assistance and Support

For Context Read: Day 276: Death of a Pet

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when Remmy died based upon how I’ve reacted in the past when I’ve lost an animal, and for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself within a positive energy experience, which accumulates and contributes to the physical moment of shock, trauma and stress upon my physical body, and then when the nature of life as death comes, I’m not prepared,  because I didn’t understand the nature of our relationship in the first place, thus unable to in that moment direct myself effectively, free from reaction, shock, trauma and ultimately stress upon and within my physical body.

remmy my protector

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself within and during short and/ or long term relationships – where if something happens to someone that I have a relationship with – whether they go missing, or leave,  or die – I experience not only ’emotional’ shock, trauma and stress, but also shock, trauma and stress to my ‘physical body’ – where my heart races and my breathing is fast, and then my entire physical body will become shaky and weak, so much so that within me I lose the ability to properly direct myself free from the energy of the emotion / fear, thus I attempt to manipulate myself and others by trying to hide my inner turmoil, and in doing so, I not only suppress myself but I fail to remain in awareness of myself, thus I miss seeing how it is actually my own thoughts, feelings and emotions that I’m reacting to thus why I’m unable to find stability to direct myself within the reality of who I am within whatever point I’m facing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my relationship to Remmy according to a positive feeling energy, in how I felt comfort and safety whenever I was around him, and even in the way he would look at me, and I forgive myself for how the consequence of such definition will set the stage for fear of loss and sadness to accumulate and develop within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find comfort within a positive energetic experience based upon ideas that I’ve made up within my mind, – ideas that slowly over the years have accumulated to be more than what my actual physical world/reality relationship with Remmy was, therefore, I forgive myself for not seeing the reality and polarity that finding comfort in an illusion / idea within my mind and for the consequences that doing so creates within and as my physical body.

When and as I see myself as my mind having been triggered by an image of Remmy laying dead in the road – where then the positive energetic memories I have of Remmy are disconnected and the energy of sadness comes up, I Stop, I Breathe. I see, realize and understand that these are connections that are mostly energetically based on feelings and emotions because when the disconnect happens, sadness comes up in polarity as a negative energetic experience begins to develop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the death and dying of others to become my story for the taking, to use for self interest purposes where within my mind I seek to escape the fear of facing myself within the fear of loss to fuel my mind as the energy in order  to gain attention to / for myself as a weird way of trying to validate myself to myself for myself.

When and as I see myself going into this particular mind-set in polarity, I Stop, I Breathe, instead, I Commit myself to direct myself to disengage all participation in thoughts, emotions and/or feelings in relation to what is being triggered and to instead focus on asking myself the question: who am I in relation to this point and why am I suppressing myself within a false sense of hope because for me, when hope exists I can use it as a tool to see when I’m hiding in my own fear of death and / or loss of self.

I Commit myself to investigate the nature of who I am within my current relationships, to take any positive energy experience that I may have with another and to write down the words as well as how I will specifically support myself in changing those positive words into actual practical physical living expressions as myself.

I Commit myself to the relationship to the remembrance of Remmy, Fozzy and Charlie and all the pets that I’ve lost to be one of gratefulness in terms of what I learned from each of them.

Day 276: Death of a Pet

It was like any other morning, where I make my way past the back door, stopping to glance out the window with the hope of saying good morning to our outside dogs, But this morning, what I saw was our dog Remmy, laying dead in the middle of the road. At first sight I knew that the animal I was looking at was dead, because of the amount of damage done to it’s physical body. Immediately I became aware of how my mind searched for energy, a way to make the image I was seeing Not be Remmy.

Staring out the window at the body I became oddly aware of how within me, it was like I was spinning out of control and I knew I had to stop but yet, I didn’t want to. It was interesting to within such a moment, to implement the ‘looking system’, whereby becoming aware of what I was accepting and allowing as thought participation and then the emotions and feelings.

So in looking closer and investigating the point, I could see how I was becoming emotional and thus wanted to become the energy / surge of heat /the buzz of terror at the sight of my dog laying there in such a state…I took a deep breath and made the decision to not participate within and as the energy and directed myself to move, to put on my boots and walk to the road, to know for sure what I already knew… It Was Remmy, and he was dead.

He had probably been killed within the hour and it looked like he’d been sleeping in the road – which is something he often did regardless of the countless number of times my partner and I tried to keep him out of the road, and in our fenced back yard. It didn’t matter, Remmy was like an expert escape artist, and so finally we stopped trying to keep him fenced in. There were many, many times where he’d slept near or in the road, and always he would hear any cars or trucks coming and would move out of the way, but, not this time.

By the looks of his body, it was probably someone driving one of the several semi-trucks that have begun to daily speed carelessly up and down the old country road we live the other side of. So in the 7 years that we’ve lived here, the once quiet road has changed and is now particularly busy. This because the road has become a frequented passage way for a nearby fracking company who use it to haul supplies to and from.

I’ve watched how the speeding semi’s have caused some nervousness with all our animals and because of how fast they drive, I’ve feared for their safety. More than once I’ve called our county sheriff’s office and asked them to please come and moderate the speed of these guys driving for these major corporations, but I was told that the county doesn’t have the money thus no manpower to follow this problem through to a solution.

So in a way, Remmy, like most of us, fell victim to a system that unfortunately values profit over life. And as I look outside my backdoor window, I realize that I have to forgive myself for the blame, the rage, and the helplessness I want to be and become because I realize the cold hard truth, that life on earth is a very dangerous place. Less dangerous though, if one have enough money to buy their way around the danger, if only for a moment.

Looking at who I am in relation to Remmy’s death, the first thing that comes up is the memory of the day he was born which was not long after we moved to the country, which will be 7 years next month. So Remmy has been here supporting us through much of the beginning, the beginning of when my partner and I got serious about walking our process, our Journey to Life.

The fact is, I would need more than 2 hands to count the number of animals that we’ve had in the past 7 years that have died and are buried here on our land, but my relationship with Remmy has been the longest. So the length of time one puts into the relationship with all the memories, etc, that’s what determines the degree that one will grieve for and miss that someone or something, when they or it’s no longer here and I mean it’s a loss because it’s our ‘relationships’ that fuel our mind…

Another point to mention is how I noticed that when I saw Remmy’s body laying there in the road, lifeless and mangled,,, I felt offended for him. Like he deserved a better ending for the life that he lived. And, the thing is, as ‘sweet’ as that ‘feeling/thought‘ might appear, it’s deceptive because, it is in that thought participation that what happens is, I walk straight into playing the starring role as the victim. The human under consciousness direction, it’s like self interest gives way in that we’ll use the knowledge/the story of the death of another in absurd ways to bring attention to ourself.

This is how our mind as consciousness exists and directs us. Mostly because, I mean, we’re not doing so good at directing ourself, so then who we are as consciousness steps in… So we’ve got to be able to understand who we are as our mind so we can assist and support ourselves to be the directive principle within our world – instead of consciousness automating us, which is clearly what’s happening. What other explanation is there for why we accept and allow within our world things like poverty, war, money, power and greed?

the boys

It’s important for me to mention that Remmy is not the only dog that we’ve lost recently. Our big white Pyrenees: Fozzy, as well as: Charlie – a couple of months ago, they left on an adventure and never made it home – which is odd because not knowing for sure how or if they’re dead, kind of keeps death at bay, so to speak. Whereas Remmy’s death seemed to push the point for closure and forgiveness, so, here I am, facing who I am in relation to it.

In future blogs, I will continue with Self-Forgiveness


Suggest the Following:

Losing someone is like Losing a part of Myself – DAY 491 – The Moment of Shock

Losing someone is like Losing a part of Myself (Part 2) – DAY 492 – The Moment of Shock

The Death of a Loved One and the Death of Me – DAY 493 – The Moment of Shock

Stop Your Thoughts, Change Yourself – Reptilians – Part 284

What Your Thoughts Depend on: Environment – Reptilians – Part 285

Animal Interviews & Support

Day 130: The Evil That Men Do

For Context please read the following:
Farming rhinos – –
Forget cocaine: Rhino horn is the new drug of status – –

“The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.” ~ Joseph Conrad

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the depth of fear I have to/toward that which I’ve only begun to understand, which is the acts of man as the Mind of Consciousness, where most disturbingly, our abuse to animals in how we have reduced them to becoming a commodity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how money is the motivating factor within 99.9 % of all abuse, war, torture and death and how the single act of supporting an Equal Money system can and Will bring 99.9% of all abuse, war, torture and death to an end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the belief in finding cures for disease and illness through abuse and/or the death of another will Never result in the Solution for and as Life.

I forgive myself for not realizing how deadly the animal relationship to human is in the servant master relationship as that which we have accepted and allowed within our world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the depth of my dishonesty, in how I have schemed and looked for others to fail so that I could earn more Money than them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how in my desire to look and ‘feel good about myself’, I never considered at what cost to the animal were my so-called dreams of looking younger and pretty, all the while clueless as to who had to suffer and/or die in order to produce the products I desired.

I forgive myself for not realizing how in-denial I’ve been throughout my life in that I have been so consumed in the race to get and buy, that I never saw the extent of torture, pain and death that I accepted and allowed others to experience because I was too absorbed in/as self-interest and greed and never considered the life of another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I react to the evil within this world through anger, spite and hate, that I am in-fact existing as the same as that which I perceive myself as being different from, therefore, I commit myself to forgive myself for who I am within the senseless torture, mutilation and death to/of animals for profit and gain and, I commit myself to change myself from within and to in self-honesty walk as a living example of change supportive of and as life, to thus bring about Heaven on Earth through Equal Money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I have existed as the evil that lives and walks upon this earth, and how I see, realize and understand that evil can only exist because I have given permission for it to, thus, I commit myself to stop who I am as consciousness, and to support a world where All living beings are suppported with the utmost dignity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I cannot undo that which I’m guilty of, however, I can through self-forgiveness begin to change that which I’ve accepted and allowed, thus, breath by breath, I commit myself to educate myself and investigate the inner workings of myself as my mind in order to stop the evil within so as to stop manifesting the evil that men do as our world, to take responsibility for and to redesign Our World according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself for not comprehending and realizing the physical expression of nature and animals, and for not realizing what it is I am to learn from/as them in order to realize who I am as life, thus, I commit myself to apply myself within and as compassion and patience so as to bring forth from within myself an understanding of what it really is to stand up for and as All living beings Equally.

I forgive myself for not realizing that I have lived my life as a Character of Expectation of/as my mind and as that, I’ve not been willing to give that which I have expected to receive, therefore, I commit myself to give unto others as I would like to receive, which is the ability to provide for my physical body with a home, food, clean water, an education and healthcare and, the ability to share one’s self-expression free from fear within a World System that supports All Life according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to show how the world will only change when real change begins first within, thus I commit myself to let go of expectations, competition, greed and the desire to have and be more, and, through self-forgiveness I commit myself to breathe as I walk self-change together as a group, neighbor for neighbor.

“I commit myself to when I see that I am criticising others and blaming others in relation to my expectations not being met to accept and allow myself to slow down as I now see, realise and understand that I had created my experience of disappointment within and as myself where my expectations were not met, not seeing realising and understanding that I was the one that created the ideas / beliefs within and as myself and now that they are not manifesting I am blaming others, when it is in fact I that should investigate the ideas and beliefs that I had created within and as myself as I held onto the ideas and beliefs in hope and in dictating that they should become manifest and through this I commit myself to see, realise and understand that if I have ideas and beliefs how I would like others to behave to instead creating expectations within and as myself of others / self to manifest these ideas / beliefs to instead walk the physical timeline, look at the physical consequences and determine whether these ideas / beliefs are standing what is best for all in all ways.” ~Esteni De Wet

Day 31: Abandoned Animals

Today on our way into town, we drove past a dog who looked lost and confused, and more than likely, he’d been dumped and left without food or a home. We live out in the country about 15 miles from the nearest town – and unfortunately, it’s common for people to drive down a country road, dump their unwanted pet and then leave them. As I asked myself how in the world can people do such a thing, I remembered a time years ago, when I did the same…

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drive down a country road and leave a dog by a nearby house in hopes that he would find his home with them because I was no longer able to take care of him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself the reason of money as the why and how come that I’ve not taken self-responsibility and self-accountability for my actions and for all life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am responsible for the living environment in how other livings beings experience themselves within our current money/world system, including those who abuse for the sake of profit and/or abuse because of self-interest/ignorance and a lack of accountability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make the decision to adopt and/or purchase an animal just to make myself feel happy and/or as a way of entertaining myself and then not taking self-responsibility for it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek to please myself first and thus because of my negligence my animal paid the price as the manifested consequence of my lack of self-responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take the proper care in seeing to it that my dog didn’t have more puppies and thus putting the mother dog and her puppies in jeopardy and myself in the position of not being able to afford to feed them and thus I forgive myself for being irresponsible and taking life for granted within a world that values profit over life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a money/world system which seeks to comfort the nature of the human no matter the cost to the animal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put the human on a pedestal and see the animal as less than human.

Art By Garbrielle Goodrow

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing anger to be me as I see myself within a world where living beings are used, abused, mishandled, misguided and left to die all in the name of money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to refer to life as ‘free’, when in fact life is struggle, life is pain, life is money, and without it/money, life is left to starve to death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that every living being have their own purpose and/or part within existence thus, to support every living being is to support all of existence.

I commit myself to creating a system where all living beings are no longer dependent upon money to express themselves as life.

I commit myself to bringing an end to life here on earth lived by the human mind as consciousness and instead support heaven on earth as the expression as life.

I commit myself to being aware of and supporting a system that sees/realizes and understands the uniqueness and individuality of all living beings within this existence in self-honesty.

I commit myself to considering and walking in/as the shoes of another, including those who walk life furry footed, footless and/or those who walk with wings and therefore, I commit myself to supporting an Equal Money System which recognizes that none are free til all are free.

I commit myself to supporting an Equal Money System to bring forth Heaven on Earth which will accept, allow, regard and respect each and every single living being in/as their full physical expression.

“I commit myself to call on all activists to reinvestigate their true support, so that those that realize that change is necessary can align themselves with practical solutions if they can get past their ego of self-interest and acceptance of the current system.” Bernard Poolman – Creation’s Journey to Life: Day 30: The Decision